Dumper Feelings When Ex Walks Away! (Podcast 486)

If you've been dumped and want to try to get your ex back, you might be wondering what your dumper will feel if you 'walk away'. If you're a dumpee then today's podcast will help you after your breakup because I discuss three likely dumper feelings when ex moves on.
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[@vincentbos]

'GET YOUR EX BACK' Advice & Support www.dateme.tips/

[@studentberry3131]

No drama. No drama. No drama. Peace is a priority

[@vincentbos]

Great comment 🙂

[@christian72589]

I believe it’s like an inverse effect. We are feeling like this is an eternity because every moment you’re hoping and wishing to receive that message or call asking to work things out. It’s a long process and unfortunately tends to happen such that when you’ve finally moved on and allowed yourself to kill the feeling, their emotional attraction spikes and you’ll hear from them. It’s truly a cruel reality.

[@onelife5302]

Sadly this realization won't happen until a year later when you have moved on

[@move6160]

I m not going back with her. No matter what

[@ASE_Avenue]

Same I’m on my growth

[@avuci]

Well the thing is, if you get dumped, your ex is coming back to YOU. set the standard, show them you are serious, demand respect. If they can't do it then continue to move on

[@Yukichu]

Waiting for the day I can finally say this .. cheers to you man

[@ryanjohnston3229]

Did you go back?

[@wokefacts6879]

I get you. She honestly got back with her ex after our breakup. That failed and now she is regretting our initial relationship. It was all unreal for me how she just moved on after dropping the connection. Now she sees it has always been real. I was real. Tough life aye

[@nickf9392]

I don't understand what all this talk is about getting you ex back. Why on earth would you want that, they cut you off, they told you you are not worthy to them, you don't have what they desire....and you want to go back to that?? Flush out your head gear...move on.

[@summersunrise.9518]

It hurts after 10 years of being together, but you are so right he's not worth it.

[@kylecrown1549]

Heart doesn’t work like that homie

[@esdrasmanrique6457]

In my case I messed up. Took them for granted. I understand why they left.

[@kita0918]

Obviously you assume everyone’s had the same breakups as you.

[@GlowriteBeautyworldSkincare]

It’s quite funny…. He pulled away and I didn’t chase him. After 2 months he called and ask why I haven’t been checking on him. It’s funny 😄. I’m tired of his games

[@marialourdess]

If they immediately jumped into a rebound relationship & you chased for a few weeks, then shut them off, i absolutely had to block them, bc I didn’t want to face their lack of reaching out, over avoiding their correspondence with me. I am guessing it takes much longer for these dumper feelings to surface if, they indeed ever surface at all, with this rebound relationship? He looks absolutely obsessed with this new girl. Thank You for your insight & video, Vincent!

[@vincentbos]

Hi Maria, thank you for your question. Yes, unfortunately if someone is in a rebound relationship, it will take longer for their concentration to move focus. Thank you for joining motivation club. Please remember to click the ‘community tab’ so you can see the motivation club videos. The newest video was uploaded on there yesterday :)

[@SuperMIKEMIZZLE]

And by the way it’s 2022 blocking someone doesn’t mean they cannot reach you, my ex called me from all types of numbers lol

[@coveredinash4787]

Don't kid yourself. She wasn't calling you. She was calling them abs.

[@SuperMIKEMIZZLE]

@@coveredinash4787 lol my abs can’t answer phone calls your missing the point 😂😂😂😂

[@MariahSincere]

Facts! That’s why when dating coaches be like “don’t block!” I laugh. As long as you don’t Change your number they will always find a way to contact you if they really want to.

[@marcowijbenga7901]

Mmm, blocking your ex is the action of a coward, especially when it’s because the dumper is only avoiding what they did wrong themselves. It’s a low worth behaviour done by a low worth person

[@uknodavibe2756]

You were the on to dumped her?

[@siulong1394]

Well, it seems that everything you said applies only for the case of a breakup that doesn't involve getting dumped for someone else because, in this latter scenario, the dumper won't be alone and suffering from loneliness.

[@elitephantom9690]

They do but playing hard to get for too long won't achieve anything for the dumper.

[@victoriajensen6588]

I have thought that sometimes its healthy for dumpee to block your ex to show that the dumpee has iits own life and accepts the breakup. The dumper if he/she wants, can use another form for communication, f eks a telephone. If they want then they find the way. But when the dumpee will eventually unblock her/his ex, they its a clear signal -I donot care anymore, you can try, but odds are low at this point

[@vincentbos]

Hi Victoria, thank you for sharing your thoughts. How are you feeling today?

[@victoriajensen6588]

@@vincentbos Thank you, not så good. My ex was in on and off relationships with his ex. I met him when he was probably in off periode (I have known about this story after break-up. His ex luved in another city and I did not know it ). Now they moved together and this is the 3rd attempt. I haved blicked him in messanger and unfriended on facebook to not even see what he is doing.

[@jayc342009]

@@victoriajensen6588 the only issue i have with blocking is it will give me a reminder about them, i find it easier to just be unfriended

[@samboriboun2213]

People dont want a partner,most are players.

[@LocoMenteClaraOne]

I may take a dumper ex back, but IF she rebounds, then door is nailed shut on ever taking her back again! The streets can have her

[@ConfidencePT]

I agree with this. I told my ex that I won't be second best.

[@Jc-si6pj]

@@ConfidencePT 3rd or 4th

[@katemoffitt1641]

This is so true. He came back & proclaimed his love for me. I fell for it. He dumped me right after Valentine’s Day 2022. Ive blasted him by text for the past year… since he ghosted me. Oh yes I did. Bcuz he deserved it. I’ve finally given up now. Got it all out of my system. He never blocked me. Even wished me a happy birthday. But so what? It’s too late. Sadly I won’t ever believe anyone again. But I have me. I love me. And I’m a gift… not a discard‼️✅ Finally I’ve moved on & am dating again. I will surround myself with good loving peeps if it’s the last thing I do on this earth.

[@maddena977]

In my opinion, he doesn't care. He knew what he did. He got what he wanted. Good riddance...

[@cadet15]

she was a sweetheart and there’s no hard feelings . maybe in a different life

[@briteidea08]

I’m going to keep on doing what I do best. Leaving the door open and waiting. Still moving forward though.

[@SFragger100]

Did she come back?

[@heshamibrahim1226]

What if the dumper blocks you while you’re in no contact? I’m in my 7th week no contact. She dumped me and I walked away, there was no begging or pleading. I haven’t reached out and don’t plan to but three weeks into no contact she blocked me on what’s app. I decided not to do the same as it would make me look like I care if I blocked her too.

[@lucybee3361]

I didn't block . He sent me pictures of him and new fiancee no reaction from me. When he eventually reached out got a swift chat to your new girlfriend. Got a tantrum block. Unblocked and chatted again in under three months he is not happy with new fiancee. Not my issue stepped back and focussing on me. It's been a journey but I am happy

[@sirlarek]

Sounds similar...I blocked all social media so I wouldn't see anything...I relegated phone to message only. Email is still open. An accidental crossing paths out of town was first contact...she parked in front of me...I was shocked, controlled but upset...her granddaughter spotted my RV...I told her about the blocking...two days later I sent an email establishing my boundaries and was polite. She responded with a page of abusive blaming (gas lighting). I responded the next day with..."I understand...I am sorry for that". Back to no contact. I am not going to engage in assault. This is why I walked out that day. Which precipitated the dump.

[@anta3612]

I think she's blocked you because she's upset at the no contact and is hoping for a reaction from you. Continue to do what you're doing. Perhaps she'll grow up and, if she comes back, will be a person you can establish a mature relationship with. If not, then staying no contact will accelerate your healing and prepare you for someone better.

[@chunkybuttz844]

I met an incredible girl and we dated for a month. Very passionate and intense. Spent 4-5 nights a week together. We had one issue which involved her being slightly disrespectful and me being slightly insecure simultaneously. I acted somewhat immature after she broke it off with me. Now it’s been 7 weeks and she keeps blocking/unblocking me on socials. I haven’t attempted contact in 5 weeks yet she keeps up this cycle. I’ve begun to genuinely move on. There was a time when I wanted her back intensely

[@eazyd4770]

after she ended things i was so obsessed with getting her back by any means. sucked cuz she rebounded right away. been about 2 months since she ended things. but this week i finally accepted things as they are and let her go. i told her ill always have love for her and care, but the look in her eyes when i told her about finally letting go, definitely had an effect on her. were friends but after what i had told her its almost like how things were before the split. if she wanted to get back together my head tells me she left once she can do it again but my heart says she realized what she lost and wont let go this. i hope i make the decision

[@Jc-si6pj]

Bruh she EFFed another dude you can’t take her back

[@eazyd4770]

@@Jc-si6pj didn’t take her back 🙌🏾

[@ang695]

@@eazyd4770 AYYYE! PROUD OF U. not like we had a choice anyway LOL

[@SFragger100]

Did she come back and you chose not to take her back?

[@MadeInTheStruggleProgram]

This guy is a beast

[@paulsell2438]

Honestly get the feeling sue wants me to go through extreme grieving and chase them...got passed when she saw I was living my life after over 2 months and now blocked me on social media.

[@DirtStarMaster]

They always leave for someone else. Why would you throw away your old shoes before getting new ones?

[@elitephantom9690]

Not always. I left mine due to heavy responsibilities and my dumpee did not understand this as he became clingy.

[@sarahsummers4093]

@@elitephantom9690 that’s why I got dumped today 😢

[@elitephantom9690]

@@sarahsummers4093 I'm sorry, give him time, he'll come around if there's no one else involved. Go no contact. It works for me.

[@Music-yq8qc]

@@elitephantom9690 what's heavy responsibility ? Showing love/affection is clingy ? Elaborate. The same was done to me ..

[@elitephantom9690]

The story of my life as a dumper. Dumpee blocked left me confused and now I begin to accept and leave the relationship behind the closed doors. Dumpee don't block if you want them back.

[@Spd868]

I disagree. If u really wanted them back because you knew you made a mistake, you would have put more effort in then just using electronic means.

[@elitephantom9690]

@@Spd868 I did try to get him back in person but he got very stubborn so I went no contact until he reaches out.

[@mattwood8659]

@@elitephantom9690 the dumper should not be doing nc. If you really wanted them back you grovel and apologise

[@Rangelong]

@@mattwood8659 FACTS!!! This is why people stay getting in and out of bad relationships after leaving the one that truly worked but was flawed a bit. Stop trying to find perfection it doesn’t exist.

[@jeffmullins7260]

If you leave someone for whatever reason and break there heart after being together for months, years, whatever…..even if you have been blocked, you still know ways to get in touch with them. On the same point, being the dumpee here, you have got to make them earn a spot back in your life. You are a prize that they just gave away. Remember that.

[@boldcitycc]

This is so dysfunctional. So you can’t just love the guy when he wants to make it work. You have to be an egotistical bitch, and think your above the guy. But when he doesn’t feed your ego by pleading with you anymore, now he becomes valuable. How about actually valuing what you have and working and talking through your issues, instead of being immature. Now I 100% agree with what he’s saying. I’ve experienced it personally..Told she’d never leave me. Was her soul mate.. all that. Always wanting me to promise the same. Difference was, I meant it. She only means it when she feels good and is getting what she wants. There’s no communication and finding a solution to anything. Her solution is dump you. Maybe one day I’ll meet a woman that actually understands what she has, and not be toxic like this. In my experience, if you quit being on game, and truly drop your walls, and give your heart , and fall for a woman( what they say they dream of), you then become a sure thing, and they know you’ll be there for them no matter what… Well that’s no fun.. I can keep this guy as my back up plan and look for greener grass. I want to be who I am, which is a big hearted man, full of love and much passion, but reality requires you to be on game. It sucks

[@proudmasculine]

Brilliant

[@whynot9822]

What if Im the one whos been blocked. Im the one who dumped by someone.

[@kg1385]

Thanks Vincent good video

[@bwanikabrian2791]

I just love the way u say.... The dumper and the dumpee 😂

[@vincentbos]

Thank you 😆

[@Twisterbeast]

Will they feel the same way if i sent an “i am done” message before no contact?

[@bunny7674]

I respect you for point.3

[@callmeishmaelk767]

This guy sounds like Eric Idle.

[@minyura2966]

Advise please My ex dumped me when i was 28weeks pregnant, my mistake was I plead, beg to him , get angry and i left I told him to block me. He told me relationship was whirlwind and move way too fast. I was codependent to him my fault 🤦‍♀️Past forward i was doing ok till he contact me again and offer friendship i decline as i still have a feelings to him and now im confused and still possible to get us back together

[@vincentbos]

Hello Min, I’m very sorry to hear about this situation. It sounds like it has some unique complexities. Have you considered talking to me via audio coaching? We can speak about this in depth and decide the best course of action.

[@countcrow]

He's a pig for doing that when you're pregnant.

[@tonyhinton6189]

My ex never blocked me , called me every week , I don't understand.

[@josephrussell4625]

Don't answer her when she calls. That's what narcissist do for supply. She will never be interested in getting back together with you if you stays available to her

[@Count_Jacula]

I hold out little to 0 hope that my ex will come back she is very distant an already hooking up with someone else think it was planned to be honest as left me start of nov an got with him 2 weeks later. I don't worry about that its not love its just that he is there an she is distracting herself. I didn't block my ex however i did unfriend her on socials when i found out about the new guy out of anger tbh. Im guessing that is ok she can still contact me on them via dm's etc if she wanted too so should i just leave it as is because i feel adding her back as a friend would just be weird now an also go against the NC that I'm in currently its been like 14 days or something so i know its not long but what we has was real shes never had a long relationship ours was 2 years all her other ones were like 2 months i just want one more chance to talk an see her in the future weather that means us getting back together or not because the way it ended wasn't ideal an i don't wish anything but the best for her despite her thinking that i have ill will :) thank you for the vid vin as always very informative

[@vincentbos]

Thank you Jack for sharing your thoughts. Everything is still very raw for you right now and you’re a ‘Stage 1 Dumpee’. Things will get easier and with or without your ex, you will have a positive future.

[@thebluemarvel1111]

I'm in the same boat as you are. I deleted my ex gf off of Facebook cause I got tired of seeing everything. We dated for 4 years but she wanted to stay friends but I couldn't do it. I think it's healthy to do what's best for you.

[@justiceforall3973]

Same thing happened to me, it was in November when she started talking to her co worker as “friends” … we broke up Jan of 22 and not even a week later, she was sleeping with him… 3.5 yrs relationship and she sleeps with this guy within a weeks time? Yea, she had him lined up. I feel like total shi*! I couldn’t understand stand it. It’s May now and I’m still confused as I was her best ever as she puts it up until the break up. Now all of a sudden I’m a narcissist, selfish and self-centered… makes no sense… 🤦🏻‍♂️

[@adamdanmusic]

Why do you want someone back who is literally offering her BODY to someone else as well. You would honestly be able to take her back and have sex with that? Have dignity bro. Once they fuck someone it’s over

[@gurlonice8013]

I have a question... my ex reached out after 7 months. We talked... he said he’s missing me, i said i was suprised about that and we talked for 2 days straight. After that 2 days silence... doenst matter its just the beginning right? He reached out again after 2 days and we talked again for 2 days. Amazing conversation, bit flirty, laughing and our inside jokes. After the convo was done... he hasnt reached out anymore. We are 5 days further and total silence.. is this normal? He said he’s kinda depri ( but I didn’t gor further into that tbh ) i know he truly missing me but this makes me very confused about whats going on and i dont find anything about this

[@Count_Jacula]

hot an cold is hard when they reach out then go silent I'm not coach an I'm sure vin will say different but for me if he reaches out again try to make a date maybe don't call it that but try to get them to meet you in person an see how things are have fun a good time don't talk about the past if they bring it up then fine so be it but show him how you have grown since you last were together but he maybe scared or like you said Depri in terms of texting an getting close but if you can get him in person that would be my goal just go do something fun together bowling etc something that is fun casual but can be a little flirty etc. also try to go in the evening if possible as that is more romantic then day time dates :)

[@vincentbos]

Hi Gurl, thanks for your question. Every breakup is unique, but the communication stage is always the most challenging element. Taking things from communicating, to meeting is the aim. If you would like support with your unique situation, you might want to consider my audio coaching service so we can speak about this in more depth. More details about my audio coaching can be found on my website - www.dateme.tips/

[@vincentbos]

Hi Gurl, I replied to your question, but it doesn't seem to be showing. Did you receive my reply?

[@eartheternal3565]

You talked too much. You should have kept the conversation quick so you can catch up in person. It's when they see you that you can use all your senses to attract him. Next time keep the conversation as short as possible with the goal being to meet up.

[@LittleJohninVermont]

They are testing you, and will be turned off if you show too much eagerness.

[@chaostade4087]

My ex gf who broke up with me, had blocked me everywhere and told me she found her "one and only man" (even before we split up forever) and not to contact her and bother her ever again. And after some days she unblocked me from social, after some more days (yesterday) she followed me on IG. What does it mean? Does she do it to hurt me even more and feed her ego even more? Or is there a spark of something? (the probability she has an other guy is high, im not sure about the "one and only" though).

[@throatcancer8]

Ya that's confusing, maybe she thinks blocking you was harsh. And she thinks that now about the new guy but just wait until he starts messing up

[@lucybee3361]

Please relax and stay away from social media. It's hard but focus totally on yourself.

[@Frenchieeeee]

i told her that i wanted to take care of her and she blocked me... been 3 1/2 weeks.

[@momo93m1]

Any update?

[@NoName-oy2km]

When you say "take care of her" did you say it in a mob boss way?

[@harrisonayodi1529]

👍

[@dr.options]

Do narcissist dumpers ever actually self reflect and have regrets or do they just move on with no empahty?

[@countcrow]

Narcissists have no empathy or self reflection. That's what makes them a narc

[@gerrymoreno2966]

Second one budd

[@lovelystarchild]

No, they are narcs!! Why would you think that they have any regrets??? Narcissistic people don't feel empathy or remorse

[@leratoseretsi5603]

Brilliant