[Vinesauce] Joel - The You Testament

Lets punch Jesus in the face, oh yeah brother.
Date streamed: 25 Dec , 2015
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[@lukemacinnes5124]

notice the first thing Jesus did was pull a knife

[@posthumanoid]

Everyone knows Jesus fights like a bitch.

[@inspectorjavert9868]

Well there was that one story that a king had destroyed along with other parts of the Bible about Jesus's life in this story he was a kid and was getting bullied so he turned the bully into a pig and also when Jesus went to a temple and saw that the Romans used it for orgies and tons of shit Jesus straight up told them GET THE FUCK OUTTA MY TEMPLE

[@guilhermehank4938]

@@inspectorjavert9868 He used a whip, Jesus aint fucking around.

[@MunkeyBeans1082]

His friends drink his blood. His enemies drink their own.

[@TheRealRusDaddy]

Jesus stays strapped

[@FishpondsLady]

I do respect how you at least tried to win the game. My daughter and I genuinely downloaded this when she was about 7, and all we ever did was wander about aimlessly whilst giant weird people alternatively tried to kill or hug us. Eventually my daughter (who is far more intelligent than I) said "I think the point of this game is to find Jesus." "Yes, but where is Jesus?" "He's over there, Mum. You just beat him to death with his own cross." "That was Jesus?". So we gave up at that point and made pancakes instead.

[@metebas3400]

thats so cute omg so wholesome

[@crylune]

@@metebas3400wholesome keanu chungus 100

[@metebas3400]

@@crylune NO UR BREATHTAKING CHONKER

[@quantumblur_3145]

What year did that happen wtf

[@FishpondsLady]

I think it was 2011.

[@louiscocksman7114]

The funniest part is that his games are actually super stable. There’s not really any bugs. He’s just so ambitious with the AI that it becomes chaos.

[@Ocidad]

You mean the Ai has already taking over since the birth of Jesus? Wow...

[@ChrisPoindexter98]

The cruel and incredible irony of video games...seemingly "simple" (relatively speaking) ones having perfect functionality, as if that's its advantage over the drawbacks of other kinds of games. 👌🏻🥴💗💪🏻☺️💓🫡❤️‍🩹

[@quantumblur_3145]

​@@ChrisPoindexter98huh?

[@ChrisPoindexter98]

@quantumblur_3145 There's irony in MDickie's scuffed, bizarre games running bug-free versus seemingly more polished games.

[@evandaymon8303]

Bug free yes but camera sucks and controls are janky. It still fun regardless of those two things.

[@BierBart12]

I love how the blinking in this is just pulling the eyeballs into the head and moving them back out..

[@zrahabi]

+Bier “Bierbart12” Bart ALIENS

[@Templarfreak]

+Bier “Bierbart12” Bart I'm going to need to borrow your Slime for a few moments. EHEHE. HEHEHEHE.

[@aspennnnnnnn]

So happy I'm not the only one who noticed.

[@friedchickenUSA]

It's called physics. LoOk It Up.

[@greasygurl9386]

yeah.. like a skelleboy

[@youtubechannel1535]

I challenge you to play ALL of the MDickie games. It won't be a long time but it will be a HARD time...

[@Thrakk]

ez

[@noahgamingnou3839]

Oh i get the joke I played hard times

[@MMayel26]

KZbin Channel sooo...Super City, Popstar, Sure Shot, School Days, Extra Lives, The You Testament The 2D Coming, Wrecked (PC and Phone) and the Wrestling games? (i know there's more but we don't want to get pizza with C4 aka die from badness)

[@woofyou1186]

@@MMayel26 the MDickie show, Popscene 1 (pc and mobile), sure shot Star Wars, moksha, under development, wrestling mpire 2008, federation online, federation booker, wrestling mpire remix management, wrestling mpire 2008 management, wrestling encore, big bumpz

[@minimanbeast1014]

All will be bulk

[@PhattyBolger]

"And Santa grew back his left hand and proceeded to punch Pontius Pilate in the dick."

[@leoj3490]

That's his name, I was just thinking, who is it? It's not Caesar or Augustus.

[@ZorotheGallade]

And then he shat a mountain.

[@felypinho020]

​@@ZorotheGalladethat's my favorite part of the bible

[@NotSoMelancholy]

OH GOD. THEY DONT BLINK THEIR EYES JUST SINK INTO THEIR HEADS!

[@RipOffProductionsLLC]

that's actually a prety clever way to "animate" blinking without needing to get complicated eyelid stuff working... it just looks horrible if seen up-close like this

[@magusperde365]

@@RipOffProductionsLLC "It's actually a very clever way to do without getting into too complicated stuff. It just look horruble up close" could be saud of anything M Dickie made

[@musikalniyfanboichik]

​@@RipOffProductionsLLCi think if they got hidden and then visible it would look better

[@obsidian9416]

6:56 "Hey Bulk Bogan, what's your problem? Touch me again and I'll kill you!" Such kindness and words of love from him.

[@beatricebergstrom9122]

Passion of the Christ is a lot different than I remembered it.

[@SamDeMonic]

Its the remake

[@noreski435]

This is the directors cut

[@DearDeerRyone]

Passion of the Christ starring Bulk Bogen and Tiny Santa.

[@TheDarkNikolai1]

Literally crying with laughter at the sound of a steel bar repeatedly hitting Jesus Christ, who is on his hands and knees, at the mercy of this polygon abortion horror Bulk Bogan.

[@DracoHandsome]

And the Devil made a mockery of the Lord's greatest creation of man, and placed into him all the vileness of beasts; the ineptitude of the ass, the strength of the ox, and the hatred of the viper. And he was called Bulk, and receiving not the word of GOD, had been created a eunuch clothed as a woman is clothed; and he would do no work nor good deed, but sought only consumption for the vanity of his own strength, and sat in the village center lifting himself by his fingers, tossing the townspeople should they approach, as children skip rocks. Now, it came to be that Bulk found Jesus preaching the WORD OF THE LORD to the people; and as he heard him speak, Bulk felt a stirring within his heart, a dark and seeping hatred felt only by the scions of the Devil; and as the people dispersed and Jesus walked alone, Bulk leapt in malice, having been made for naught but to challenge the Son of Man, so jealous of the strength of the LORD seated within the loins of Jesus that he took up his foot unto the stones of Jesus; but the LORD protected Jesus who bore no bruise nor nutcrack, and Jesus said unto him, "Aye, ye who would raise hand and foot against Me, like the tooth and claw of a hunting beast; Whence come thy vitriol? For the LORD sayeth, Touch Me once and I shalt turn the other cheek. But strike ye that cheek also, and I'll kill you."

[@innoclarke7435]

Amazing.

[@kianmckenna1144]

...

[@jaysefgames1155]

But then he doesn't kill him for the lord is merciful

[@CpnGame]

Amen.

[@robertwoods3871]

It's...beautiful

[@Goatlactic]

I never thought I would utter the phrase "please stop beating up Jesus with a steel pipe" but I gaming finds new and exciting ways to make the most unlikely scenarios occur.

[@TallTapper]

yes

[@cthulhu4145]

RIP Bulk Bogan Never Boget :c

[@Trisaaru]

Forever in our bearts...

[@cthulhu4145]

that random guy will pay! YOU DONT F*CK WITH BULK BOGAN AND GET AWAY WITH IT >:(

[@Trisaaru]

+Homur Sompsin BEAH!

[@ieatsoap88]

mooskleeeeeees yiiiiiiiis

[@WarTex]

thumur plz

[@gingervampireFTW]

7:39 Ah yes, the classic Bible scene where Jesus is stomped to death by Bulk Bogan. That was in the Bible, right? I'm almost positive that I read it somewhere in Sunday School.

[@jake1173]

gingervampireFTW Yes, Bulkalations, 4:20.

[@tc-todoschorros2056]

that sunday school was lit, I tell you.

[@sombredevonte0622]

That high pitched scream when SANTA got his left hand chopped off lol

[@sombredevonte0622]

+❤Kitsune Goddess❤ 46:30

[@cheatsenabled1662]

+❤Kitsune Goddess❤ Even your festive pictures don't fail to have cleavage. (Off-topic, I know.)

[@cheatsenabled1662]

Rim Tsular Hush now.

[@MurrmorMeerkat]

Its funny because your ganging up on rim when it was swift who said it first you sillys owo

[@MJuegaES]

❤Kitsune Goddess❤ No thanks, I've had enough bleach for today.

[@Lapeno456]

i am a father at a local church and i can confirm this is actually what happened

[@Sn0wjunk1e]

_the more you know_

[@MixxC]

**Macintosh Plus 420 plays**

[@Molly_Bloom_]

This video is 50% joel trying to kill one person.

[@fishoutofwater7743]

18:20 I just fucking love the part where Jesus walks away and Bogan's eyes immidietly sight new prey

[@FlyingPringleJJ]

"Hug de Jesus" -joel

[@superstinkybeans]

FlyingPringle ohhh yis. Hug et ouuut

[@niksin9941]

uuuuhhhuuuuhhuuuu you smeall like eagg uhhuuuhu hug se moosklees

[@yams190]

6:07 this aged perfectly

[@TheVincenzoGaming]

SUS-

[@dextrion7259]

@@TheVincenzoGamingstop

[@Skelterbane69]

@@dextrion7259 sussie yeesssss~

[@dextrion7259]

@@Skelterbane69 sad really

[@AMBATUKAMceo]

​@@gordon_weedmanamong us suspicious vent sabatoge impostor crewmate YOU SHOULD K-

[@cleverusername6550]

Can confirm this is accurate.

[@coolbugfacts3953]

Can I have magic too Jesus?

[@cleverusername6550]

Skarmory Inc. Productions No,only Uncle Jobel is allowed to use magic.

[@coolbugfacts3953]

Jesus Christ aw... I was gonna use it to do the dishes

[@omaririvers3567]

I love you

[@jmp01a24]

Bless the lord. Can you grant me unlimited gaming skillz plz?

[@TooSweaty4U]

12:32 jesus' face! he looks in so much pain... Bulk Bogan's beating was worse than the crucifiction

[@EvilLordCanas]

After having destroyed the world and lives of his fellow inmates, Bulk Bogan went on to reset the universe to search for the pieces of the lord himself so he may add them to his moosclays. But first he'll have to remove his limbs by force.

[@MakoClover]

Snaketits man Jojo part 7 is weirder than I remember

[@Josh-ce7cn]

Tell him to go eat shit bulk

[@edgegod4223]

@@Josh-ce7cn tell him yourself

[@dominicsacchetti2360]

*DO CONSUME FECAL MATTER AND FALL OFF THINE ASS, ASS!*

[@_plg]

Bulk obtains [MADE IN HEAVEN]

[@MalcBox]

Apparently every person from bible times had the health of a damn Bloodborne boss. Beat a guys asshole in with a hammer 150 times and he still gets up.

[@phillipkrickler8558]

And thus Bulk Bogan stepped on a man for 50 days and 50 nights, and upon them came the visage of Jesus. Jesus asked of Bulk Bogan to pay tribute to him as Bogan is a sinner.

[@gonemad_r6404]

phillip krickler BOGAN IS A SAINT!!!

[@link670]

And lo, did Bogan proceed to kick The Lord between his legs, to which The Lord did profess, "Hey Bulk Bogan, what is your problem?" - Bogan 5:16-19

[@evansullivan352]

You've seen the passion of the Christ, but have you seen... THE BASHING OF THE CHRIST

[@delroku]

"you smell like egg" -Bulk bogan's new testament 4;20

[@pinktastico5364]

i fucking died

[@retroterro]

What is that pfp my guy

[@delroku]

*Girl

[@svinjamaria]

“He is Risen” I N T H E W W E S U P E R S L A M

[@zrahabi]

I think Bulk Bogan has the power to kill people, take their muscles, and apply them to himself to increase his own physical strength

[@exeortegarubio]

*muskel

[@TheBillliantOne]

No, that's Bob Bogan.

[@Silver_Swan_MK2]

6:07 6 Years ago and i can hear it now

[@JustCallMeBlank]

Bogan, 6:9 "And lo did Bogan look upon his swole mooskles, and he saw it was good."

[@anneelk9066]

Jesus is love. Love is blind. Jesus is blind. I don't see anything wrong about this.

[@windtalker5572]

+Anne Elk You don't SEE anything wrong about this?

[@TheBigDaddyPrototype]

+Anne Elk You can't explain that.

[@brenito2092]

+Anne Elk you don't SEE anything wrong about this...you are blind.you are Jesus

[@AssassinM4A1]

I heard jeebus can cure blindness by spitting in the eye

[@brenito2092]

***** yeah,i know this one

[@AlphaDog26]

ALL HAIL THE MIGHTY BULK BOGAN.

[@TheAce736]

moosklays..

[@sssyruppp]

Aaaaand he's gone.

[@cococrazy420]

+Pureticly ALL HAIL QUARIO

[@ZBoy0123]

+AlphaDog don't you mean mulk mulgan?

[@syok1107]

+AlphaDog photoshop some of them ugly ass butterflies on your profile pic haha

[@SnipingIsAGoodJobMate]

6:05 First Documented Joel "sus" incident.

[@fairextl]

Jesus: If you touch me again I'll fucking kill you! Joel: Well that's a really popular quote said by jesus in the bible! This made me cry, no jokes!

[@dryve4427]

6:07 AMOGUS?!?!!

[@daniel.holbrook]

i can't decide whether those faces are horrifying or fucking adorable

[@AurorosOsprey]

The signature weapon of Holy Swedish Santa Jesus, the holy mind brick. Joel you're a saint for bringing these weird ass games to us.

[@adrianthesnowkoopatroopa4810]

Auroros Osprey Heck YEAH!!

[@Ometecuhtli]

People just start fighting with each other, random hugging, health bar going down for no apparent reason, and dialog lines straight from "Old Timmy's unofficial Bible translation who want a better version"..., someone had a lot of fun making this game.

[@Ometecuhtli]

I thought for a moment you were joking. Well, I guess with a name like that ... that explains it.

[@kackers]

The "manual" in hard time says that your health goes down over time to indicate the effect of tiredness, as well as going down when you're hurt. That's why in hard time, sleeping makes your health go up, and the same applies in this game (without the sleeping). As for all the other oddities in the games, i have absolutely no explanation

[@jeanmmckenzie]

why the fuck did I expect by sorting comments by new

[@monotwothree]

the way they blink makes me uncomfortable

[@The-Furry-Slayer]

6:07 oh @#$*& bulk bogan prediction.

[@lakselv3768]

Fuck, the Bogan lore goes deep... All the days back to the age of Christ? Jesus, that blood line is strong!

[@leyulis8882]

He also eliminated Liquid Bogan

[@hatchethank]

6:06 god fucking damn it Joel

[@dnkakusei]

GET OUT OF MY HEAD! GET OUT OF MY HEAD!

[@AMBATUKAMceo]

​@@dnkakuseiamong uus

[@OpThomastic118]

I'm very happy with the lack of hostile/hate comments, both toward and from religous people.

[@OmegaMercenary]

ShadowMaster862 god? More like Santa clause cause he isn't real. Kappa

[@user-xy9lv6kk2j]

@@OmegaMercenary but Santa is real

[@erickandrade8660]

@@OmegaMercenary no

[@yuggoth777]

@@OmegaMercenary fuck you

[@OmegaMercenary]

@@yuggoth777 yeah i agree yikes, looking back 4 years ago makes me wanna die

[@SSketchii]

I can't even begin to imagine how many Christians you pissed the fuck off.

[@Tipo190]

If youre christian and watching joel you probably wont be pissed

[@cmb9173]

Pffft I don't care at all, it's Jobel after all

[@SSketchii]

I'm speaking ignorant Christians who'd say they would kill someone to prove their faith-type Christians.

[@---ez4dm]

Eh, well i'm christian, and i am not offended because i don't take this seriously, come on, this entire game is kind of a joke haha. And what is being offended gonna do anyways, piss myself off? Well, that won't help anyone! So i can enjoy this stream like any other! :)

[@SSketchii]

Thomas Brussé I'm proud of you.

[@Will-Xaru]

mdickie is my new favorite game dev. i love this and hard time, joel knows how to have fun!

[@supermaletperson]

43:49 Spells list: Bread Muscular Arm England Redo EYE Brown Concerned Black Guy People Guard and People Trees Clock Water Rectangular Rocks Hills Topaz Heart Watch Bald Guy Magnet AC DC

[@redshackles8892]

6:05 What just happened here?, Bogan pls don't...

[@Peacht4n]

there is no way he said this in 2015: 6:06

[@bedebao]

This isn't based on the Bible, but the Bibel.

[@BoreBone]

Broble*

[@SkulloMad]

+bag of real nice ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) Doesn't that book condone the eating of mormons?

[@fiona9891]

+AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH *Brobel.

[@aviteuro1820]

the beeble

[@acidwizzardbastard]

The Holey Bibble.

[@No1liveshere]

This reminds me of bible camp where I learned my favourite passage. When Jesus came back to earth Bulk Bolgan curb stomped his ass before sending him back to heaven by carving a pentagram into him chest and ripping out his heart. Then Bulk Bolgan circumcised his dead body

[@spazzmaticus7207]

So that's why Jesus never had any children.

[@johnnyweissmuller5559]

Nah, he keeps on getting kids (US).

[@joshzuker8308]

Yes, Bulk Bogan is 69 years old.

[@mr.pissshivers]

Take THAT, bible thumpers 🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔

[@jaysefgames1155]

Can't ruin the 69 likes

[@Spark-bw3ph]

6:07 holy shit

[@ovak2164]

6:07 i will go feral

[@HammerspaceCreature]

OUR GOOOD IS AN AWESOME GOOOD! HE REEEIGNS, FROM HEAVEN ABOVE!

[@punch3322]

*Ｓｈｏｗ Ｍｅ Ｔｈｅ Ｍｏｏｏｏｏｏｓｃｌｅｓｓ！！！*

[@pinkguy5537]

will there be part 2?

[@TheDisasterMaster]

+healer56heal N I I I E E E P P P L E S S ! ! !

[@crystalalumina]

As a Christian I must say, God bless this fucking game and bless uncle Jobel

[@nathandanopi8962]

33:23 "you cant touch me i'm the master" *proceeds to get kicked in the face*

[@VicvicW]

My favourite part of the bible was when bulk bogan beat up Jesus.

[@cassi75474]

When they blink, their eyes recede into their face.

[@paleimitator]

Guys, it's not "The Bible", it's the BIBBLE.

[@cryoatix]

yOU QUESTIONED THE WORDS OF THE MIGHTtYYyy

[@uuu12343]

Clearly it's the broble in this game

[@zippyzoomer7018]

YOU QUESTION THE WORDS OF THE MIGHTY JIMMY?!

[@monotwothree]

i'm fucking immortal

[@Speedyconnor18]

+Eternia Grilled Mormons?! I didn't know it was okay to eat those people, let me check the broble.

[@pookiegaming75]

6:07

[@FenrisRM]

I want Hug Hogan for Smash!!

[@sunlessheaven]

+FenrisRM Attacks: Normal Hug Intense Hug Un-hug Hugamania Brother love Ultimate Hug Hug Rampage

[@FenrisRM]

and i guess his ultimate smash would be: UUUHHH MUSKLEEEES:::

[@sunlessheaven]

FenrisRM LET ME HUG THE MUSKLES.... MMMMMM YISS

[@FenrisRM]

yeeeessss.. show me de MUSKLESSS YEEEEEEHHH

[@mweeee]

+FenrisRM Hug Hogan hugs the foes of the stage!

[@WayneBristol]

it's so much worse when you realize they don't actually blink. Their eyes just clip back and forth through the front of their face.

[@federalbureauofinvestigati2725]

6:08 AMOGUS PREDICTED

[@LucasIsHereYT]

Bulk Bogan grew 9 inches across roughly 2000 years, that's true character development.

[@huhuhuhua363]

6:07 a m o n g u s

[@zkingalo]

He nows About the sus

[@BugBoss1205]

6:06 😳

[@yungpm]

6:07 what the fuck

[@redtheyiffer]

vinesauce is a family stream.

[@Tufhhuyy]

dongmaster reuploads & misc garbage just like your profile picture?

[@The-Evil-Fox]

5Years ago.... Every year i come back here... I am not able anymore to have a good christmas/hollydays without Jesus Joel in my life. I feel blessed every time.

[@elio7610]

6:00 ඞ

[@kackers]

47:21 THAT FUCKING SCREAM MY GOD

[@GenericProtagonist118]

13:00 That staredown between Bulk and Jesus though.

[@BlissBee]

6:06 sus

[@parkouremaster]

6:05 JeSUS

[@TheEnixSquared]

imagine if this were Mohammed, Joel would be dead by now

[@TiredCapybara]

As a Muslim, I would find it just as fucking hilarious to be honest.

[@crazyluigi6664]

+TheEnixSquared Funny you should mention that... because MDickie _did_ make a Muslim version of this kind of game as well.

[@TiredCapybara]

+Crazy Luigi I need to play this.

[@BierBart12]

It wouldn't be on TV, so most likely NOPE.

[@crazyluigi6664]

Bier Bart Oh, but it's there! It's called The Making of A Prophet.

[@shugafoo7457]

O YEIS RECIEVE TEH BLESING OF TEH NUTCRACK

[@MJuegaES]

Meda Jakic I read nutshack. I'm going to go find a noose.

[@Ryan-sn7fq]

It's the Nutshack

[@vakapont]

amogus predicted

[@august2850]

''Bootleg Jesus''

[@routoz]

6:07 oh no

[@rats335]

6:07 SUS SUS SUS ALERT SUS SUS

[@beeswithchainsaws]

6:07 HOLY SHIT

[@abloodydistraction]

As someone that suffers from insomnia I am greatful for the soothing sounds of vinesauce streamer's voices. Thanks Joel. You're a homie and a half, and you've put me to bed more times than I can count.

[@fosterbennington6405]

How did Joel do a perfect “among us” in 2015?

[@dds7799]

6:05 amongus

[@jojo-yz8qf]

6:05 Joel almost said amogus help help get out of my head

[@Quario]

Bulk Bogan looks uncannily similar to Christian Weston Chandler, I mean the badly shaven beard, the male bra, the balding, the long blonde dyed hair and the aggresive behaviour

[@fatskepticalone4756]

+SEKIBANKI (just say chris-chan next time) For real though, in like 20 years and he loses wait

[@Quario]

Bulk Bogan confirmed for being Chris-chan's ancestor

[@BlakeHall1]

Because the left is known for homophobia and incest?

[@vsGoliath96]

@@BlakeHall1 Chris is now a bisexual transwomen in a polyamorous relationship with two of his/her comic characters. If that isn't the most hard left Tumblr shit on the internet, nothing is.

[@umnothanku]

vsGoliath wait he’s in a relationship with his characters??

[@fordztv2260]

6:07 OH MY FUCKING

[@mawrak]

NOOOOOOO

[@austinsavage5962]

And so the bulk bogen said unto christ "yeees give me a hug"

[@UnstoppableGiant]

To think, Joel was 23 when this was made

[@c-zero378]

I lost it "smells like Egg"

[@oaky8400]

Who needs Breath of the Wild when you can climb mountains in this game!

[@smalltexanman7674]

35:06 Watch Joel kill a man by grabbing his sword

[@Zevbutt2]

I just realized that, instead of rigging the models to have eyelids, Matt Dickie just moves the eyes farther into the head until they clip entirely. Makes the eyelids look like they work like sphincters

[@nrggvrn5576]

I'd like to see that in real life

[@mawrak]

6:07 ඞි

[@Tmccreight25Gaming]

7:35 *And thus, Bulk Bogan stomped on the chest of Christ for fifty days and fifty nights*

[@MegaChickenfish]

So if that on the right isn't Jesus's health bar is it some kind of Heresy meter you've managed to crank to the max?