Episode Nine: Horny on Main | Violating Community Guidelines

[@ChristaLeah]

“The furries walked off the Mayflower.” IM SCREAMING

[@josetheseeker]

For real though I came here to say not the furry colonizers but I'm glad someone beat me to it like fuck....

[@bajablast1248]

that christopher columbus llama sex thing makes a lot more sense now....

[@memethyst]

the pilgrims came to america wearing their finest fursuits

[@jtdfluglzfutzfdt]

horrified to find out that even people like brittany and sarah don't know what vore is and i do

[@TheGinaChan]

disappointed tbh, I mean who wouldn't wanna be swallowed

[@markedabsent1153]

For how long they've been on the internet, I'm shocked they haven't even heard of it

[@_yaboi]

yeah, i was a bit disappointed because they said they were tumblr/twitter/internet veterans but they dont know about vore, furries, weebs etc.

[@alexia7063]

my ex one time cried and begged me to promise that if i ever turned into a giant lady that i wouldn’t eat him, then got mad because i laughed (thinking surely it was a bit)

[@markedabsent1153]

@@alexia7063 MY UNHOLY GOD WHAT THE FUCK😭😭😭

[@mickeyn9877]

“You said geode and it rocked my world” the dad joke y’all missed😭

[@mayaseaver6448]

OH MY GOD i missed it, thank you for this comment HAHAHAHA

[@memethyst]

RIGHT I THOUGHT SHE SAID THAT ON PURPOSE

[@mintyfresh588]

I DONT GET IT PLS HELP

[@Ilikebigbooties]

@@mintyfresh588geode = cool rock

[@mycrittercity]

⁠@@mintyfresh588 a geode is a type of rock hence the “(rock)ed my world”

[@halfpine9952]

“I want the Keebler elves to run a train on me.” SARAH IT IS ONLY MONDAY

[@bunnyfrosting1744]

Hearing this at 9am was too much

[@Moon.jellyy]

Sarah: “someone listens to us to like clean” Me, listening to them to like clean: 👁👄👁

[@Bee-hp7rg]

*with my kids in the next room** 😂

[@colegiroux7104]

Me at work listening while I clean 👁💋👁

[@_yaboi]

literally doing the dishes and the laundry as the pod is still going LMAO

[@alicea2537]

LMFAO SAME!! I felt so called out when I heard them say that lol

[@cyanaura4444]

@@colegiroux7104 same

[@littlegirlblue6326]

Zillow Gone Wild and VCG in two days? These ladies are holding the internet together

[@espeon871]

Ikr, its a gift

[@saggguy7]

Sarah is non binary

[@littlegirlblue6326]

@@saggguy7 i thought sarah uses she/they pronouns?

[@giovannayvette]

LITERALLY

[@TheGinaChan]

@@littlegirlblue6326 Yeah, also I think they mentioned they didn't like being referred to as "lady", "woman", etc :P

[@jakefolman9119]

I love how this turned into another “fuck marry kill animated characters”

[@crycowgirlcry]

I would listen to an hour of that lol

[@kubobetterrelax7435]

LMAO where was the first one, asking for one of the homies *cough*

[@allisonbrock9563]

@@kubobetterrelax7435 it’s on Sarah’s KZbin account & it’s like two years old !!!

[@heidigoodchild2662]

love that brittany is wearing a santa hat probably knowing that it would come out in march

[@gir21212]

The way I didn’t question/realize it omg

[@caitlinkincaid8266]

I didn’t even think about it til you said something

[@memethyst]

i thought she was just wearing it for fun and then they mentioned the miley cyrus new years special and i was like oh this is actually from december isnt it

[@waltercronkite1387]

Fun fact, Ted Cruz is actually NOT from Texas, he’s from Alberta, Canada! It’s a lot like Texas but bigger, colder and shittier

[@imjustdandy9799]

Please take him back we don’t want him.

[@minmin-qi6rn]

That makes sense. Alberta is the Texas of Canada

[@ThePrettyinpink247]

no we don’t claim

[@Ew_itsGabbie]

As a person from saskatchewan, alberta really is just canadian texas

[@madisonmarie6510]

no where is bigger than Texas 😬

[@PurelyCoincidental]

Sarah's summation of Chester Cheetah as the type of person who has no bed frame and gaslights you...100% perfect

[@pauldee1577]

his whole shtick was to gaslight us into liking weird cheese-turd snacks, so it completely tracks

[@basicbrittani]

CC represents my ex. Both have big ass heads.

[@ayannaw63]

Every Monday, on my day off, this is what I look forward to.

[@michaelreynolds6380]

Not a day off for me but still the best reason to get to Monday every Monday is for these two

[@Moth1207]

Samezzz

[@isabellakelley1205]

Yes gawd

[@Samantha-kd1ji]

same girl

[@jordanriegel5082]

This is exactly what I do with my day off

[@lane2699]

When they showed the Kool aid man I was thinking "he looks like Shane Dawson" then Brittany said he has multiple assault charges I'm WEEPING

[@lucymartinson623]

this comment has me ROLLING

[@cozycasasmr4510]

Lmao

[@michaelbusse8466]

My Monday routine of working an 8 hour shift, coming home, smoking a bowl and watching community guidelines continues yet again

[@rebeccac.8005]

you guys addressed it a little but it's really disappointing that sexual harassment has become somewhat normal online behavior (to the point where it leaks into the outside world and people will go to concerts and scream "mommy" or whatever at the artists, despite their clear discomfort). it's funny when people are being horny on main at no one in particular, but when someone's directly @-ing someone else with the most wildly depraved fantasy they have and it's just like funny to people... it's so gross 😭 like that poor AT&T lady that had to beg people on facebook live to stop sexualizing her and commenting "mommy milkers" over and over on all her posts. like, it basically became a... meme? to sexually harass this woman... it's beyond me how some people think that if they're doing it in a hyperbolic, memeable, "funny" way it's somehow acceptable. not accusing y'all of doing this of course, just something I've noticed in the past few years that's really uncomfortable 😔

[@FuriousDinosaur123]

Sarah: "make sure you're alone" Me, on I-95 in rush hour: *slowly turns up volume* "Happy Monday!"

[@pitpat2928]

i love the knowledge that these two Would 100% get fursuits custom made, and the deciding factor is storage space. amazing

[@hannahteets8108]

“Is your butthole dark?” Caught me SO off guard I choked from laughing😂😂

[@alexisc3658]

ConstableFrozen was a wild tumblr blog because honestly their editing was top tier. It took a long time for people to realize that a lot of their work was actually fetish art because it just looked like strange, but well done edits.

[@mannybanda7702]

ConstableFrozen. A name I haven’t heard in years…

[@sarwatt23]

they're still posting lol

[@letsgotothebeacheach]

This was basically almost an hour of intrusive thoughts winning but I love every minute of it lmao

[@katieblankenship688]

My friend is pregnant and she posted about after birth care saying “it’s gonna be tore up 😂” And this gross dude was like “let me hit before.”

[@sarvolkskaya]

Dude when I was pregnant I had so many men sliding into my dms than I ever have and hopefully ever will lol. The creepy comments were insane 😩 also wishing ur friend a smooth delivery!!! postpartum sucks ass but it’s worth it 🥺

[@soonexpired]

“furries walked off the mayflower!” by far my favorite joke to come out of this podcast

[@krispennington8664]

Y’all should do an episode on finsta accounts/sorority social media rules lol every time I explain that world to people it blows their minds

[@phieee8352]

We don’t have sororities here I’d watch the shit outta an ep on that culture

[@noemidlt09090]

That’d be hilarious bc Sarah was in a sorority so I, as someone that went to a college that didn’t have a single ounce of Greek life, would love to hear her personal experience

[@jamiewells3037]

It’s very interesting I was in one graduated from one and it fits all the checks for a “high control group” aka cult lol

[@caity3146]

I might need and explanation lmao, there are rules to posting if you're in a sorority?

[@jamiewells3037]

@@caity3146 there’s rules to everything if you are in a sorority

[@brrpiez]

YOO I HAVE SCIENCE STUFF ABOUT THE MUSCULAR MEN VS. SCRAWNY MEN DICHOTOMY It's mentioned at 44:27 when Brittany says: "I don't know what it is cuz biologically it doesn't make sense. Like, women - whatever that science is - being attracted to a big, muscular, provider, go kill the animals, whatever. My taste is not that." WELL, this is a quote from Robert Sapolsky, a Stanford professor who studies the Biology of human behavior. It basically says that big muscular men slowly become less attractive to women in more developed countries: "A study that just came out recently looking at women from, I believe it was about 20 different industrialized countries, and what was shown was that, in general, women have a preference for faces of men that have strong, pronounced secondary characteristics. Which is a big jutting jaw, high forehead, lots of muscle stuff going on... And what they showed was that the longer the life expectancy in the particular country, the better the economy, the better the quality of life, the less women in that country had a bias towards 'male-looking males.'" He says in another lecture that there are ~essentially~ two kinds of species: 1.) Competitive species where only 5% of males successfully mate with females. Typically the fittest, competitive, muscular, etc. Because those traits give the offspring a better chance of survival within that competitive world. 2.) Mate-for-life species. Pretty self-explanatory. In this kind of species, females tend to be more attracted to characteristics that would indicate a good life partner & good father. Aka, not muscular, competitive, violent, etc. He mentions, however, that human beings are one of the only species that exist somewhere BETWEEN these two classifications. So it makes sense that there's a huge mix of what people are attracted to in the U.S... We're a 'developed' country in many ways, but we're also highkey not in many ways. Sapolsky mentioned that the Scandanavian countries - which we know are wayyy more stable than us - skewed heavily away from the stereotypically 'masculine' features. SOURCES: "17. Human Sexual Behavior III & Aggression I" on KZbin

[@yoshi9371]

Thats period but why am I, a gay man, attracted to men? Is it the same reason as women are to men or-

[@brrpiez]

@@yoshi9371 Ahahaha that's a very big question that I sadly won't be able to answer completely.😪 I do know that our modern conception of 'sexuality' is a social construct. The words "homosexual" and "heterosexual" were created in academia around 1890s. Sexuality isn't necessarily a ~fixed~ thing, it's an ongoing process that's a lot more flexible than our general society currently defines it. Which means there are many MANY factors that play into attraction. The factors I listed above could still apply, but they certainly aren't the only ones. It's just one massive amalgamation of biological and environmental factors. Sorry haha, this probably wasn't as clear of a response as you'd hoped, but it's just such a nuanced and difficult topic to cover briefly. 😅😅

[@yoshi9371]

@@brrpiez it helped a lot thank you

[@kusren5079]

I gagged. This snappeddd. I'm on lecture 9 by him. Can't wait till I get there. This explains a lot. Thank you

[@bostonterrier2976]

I can see the logic but i'm skeptical that it's not just about sex Both tall thin men and broad muscular men are able to easily hold up their own body weight = longer boning time for some positions

[@RealElongatedMuskrat]

I love that we started playing fuck, marry, kill towards the end but just skipped between fuck and brutally murder.

[@duwude3772]

Can’t believe they didn’t mention the green m&m when they were talking about food mascots

[@adrianoines521]

I listen to the new episode every week while I eat my vending machine lunch after my calc class before I have my weekly therapy appt. It really sets the ambience.

[@b0ogie_woogie]

this is the perfect balance of 'not giving a shit' and 'giving too many shits' that i aspire to be i stg

[@roux5021]

Honestly me too. I sit in my school’s horridly depressing dining hall, eating my concerning mystery fajitas, and listen the new episode every Tuesday before my precalc class

[@bunnyfrosting1744]

In a week you’ll be hearing “you seem upset today; did Sarah mention the elves again?”

[@adrianoines521]

@@bunnyfrosting1744 "did Brittany talk about the cann1bal cookbook again?"

[@eclipseox]

This podcast is my THERAPY. Ive looked forward to Mondays ever since this podcast started. The vibes are absolutely **immaculate**

[@ryanparker1178]

I just wanna compliment Brittany on her makeup. The eyeliner is so defined and even. Love to see these amazing people losing their minds on the internet.

[@idab6864]

Ever since Brittany said on that other podcast (I can't remember the name of because I'm high) that they were going to be talking about this topic I have been so excited for this one. This phenomena is so funny and interesting

[@loganwaffle]

Most recently she was on Not Too Deep

[@zonk35]

same!

[@quilted_lamb]

Liking this comment for the honesty lmao

[@pruefus4113]

Sarah: "I wish someone would fetishise me!" Also Sarah: Is a lesbian, who are arguably THE MOST fetishised

[@Rh-sl2kt]

How is she a lesbian when she literally regularly hooked up with men lol

[@jhart1127]

@@Rh-sl2kt oh dear, you sweet summer child... 😂😂

[@Rh-sl2kt]

@@jhart1127 KZbin user "J Hart" about to burden me with the knowledge of bisexuality

[@violatingcommunityguidelines]

@@Rh-sl2kt maybe sarah hasn't hooked up with a man in years, have you considered how time works?

[@Rh-sl2kt]

@@violatingcommunityguidelines I didn't know sexuality had a shelf life.

[@kimismith18]

My grandma is in her 80s and calls all cats pussies and it kills us. She's so innocent and doesn't say anything like that. 🤣🤣🤣

[@yeah...no.2462]

Mine does the same 🤣

[@mahoupanda2639]

The Pete Davidson thing is like the “she let me hit because I’m goofy” effect

[@dagger3928]

wouldve absolutely accepted the ‘lemme hit it’ on the “thinking of kms lately”

[@dorezandbergen8542]

"if there's ever a moment to make sure you're alone..." I live with roommates that blast their music when I sleep, let's turn this to 100

[@stratosphere94]

I think the reason why Nani from Lilo & Stitch is so hot is uh the guy who designed the characters, directed, wrote the movie, voiced Stitch, etc, Chris Sanders, actually draws lewd stuff 😅

[@espeon871]

What-? WHAT

[@kendra4932]

Omg just googled his art. All the ladies look like nani 😭😭😭

[@RealElongatedMuskrat]

hooooly shit. He loves the thick thigh girlies. Honestly respect.

[@thecrystaltide3757]

this recontextualises everything... 🤢

[@vilyda]

I love his art so much. He also did Crudes and HTTYD character designs

[@Mexicanon]

Y’all couldn’t think of one lesbian that makes happy music when Jojo Siwa is right there

[@purplewatermelon7102]

i am devistated this podcast has ended. these are my favorite and i watch A LOT of podcasts so it says a lot

[@HikariHolic]

i do also have to burst the bubble that very few elected officials run their own socials so there might actually be a chance that it was a staff member that accidentally thought they were on their own account liking the infamous tweet

[@katehoff8059]

Yes. But also, I feel like staff members are so careful to not do that. I also feel like Ted would be horny on main. It’s in his eyes.

[@HikariHolic]

@@katehoff8059 staffers tend to be in their early 20s to early 30s and I promise you it's not as prestigious as you think

[@EmilyBekanich]

I choose to believe it was ted cruz on 9/11 liking porn. I choose to believe it. lol

[@AJaeH]

17:25 "you said geode the other day and it *rocked* my world" good pun

[@rileywalters8560]

the 20 min adhd side bar of murder or smash of literal brand mascots was phenomenal

[@jordanna7728]

every single topic just makes me smile knowing the chaos that’s about to ensue, love y’all so much please never stop being yourselves

[@paolobayasen9219]

yall should do an episode on podcasts, specifically really shitty, misogynistic ones or the ones where the hosts have 0 chemistry

[@angel127_]

we know ur talking ab the Timone and Pumba headasses 😭😭

[@emilyglavan989]

“My mattress is stained with yearning” is absolutely ✨inspired✨

[@PDMarshall_Comics]

the Sefoam thing is just how Greeks came up with Uranus and Aphrodite's story. time is a circle

[@michaell.8505]

Brittany screaming “IM FEELING REAL WHET” is something I’m going to be repeating for the next 3 months.

[@justalittlewilde2006]

At the gym listening to this Have two 50lbs dumbells over my face Sarah says she wishes she could bite into Wallace and Gromit Nearly bash face in with weights laughing too hard mid set. Have to pretend I'm choking when entire gym looks at me

[@hantheminion]

slayyy

[@RealElongatedMuskrat]

this beats the time I dropped my groceries walking home and listening to the pod. I was mortified but I wasn't almost beating my head in, so you win this round.

[@maisynelson7202]

sarah didn’t even notice when they said “you said geode the other day and it ROCKed my world”

[@betsy8889]

i work in a middle school and my coworker has a sticker on her water bottle of a picture of ted cruz captured “this person ate my son” and no 6th grader in michigan knows who ted cruz actually is so they all think he’s a cannibal murderer. 🤪

[@angel127_]

I SAW A PIC OF ONE OF THOSE ON A CAR LMFAO

[@betsy8889]

@@angel127_ she has the best stickers on her car. one says “robert pattinson fan first, feminist second” and “me and my girls love oat milk lattes” with the grim reaper on it she’s a legend and the kids don’t even know it. way over their heads. brilliant.

[@haileybeck8130]

I get anxiety before going into work each day but listening to the podcast on monday’s helps me to focus on something else and really helps my anxiety! thank you guys for a great laugh and for being you!

[@revenge7231]

Just thought of “what can you say at the dinner table and also during sex” tweet and I have come up w/ “imma eat this shit up 😩”

[@Taradoxxi]

“Why is [Elon Musk] alive?” Sarah asking the REAL questions

[@caram227]

“Have you ever been like boogie boarding” was NOT how I was expecting that explanation to start 🤣🤣🤣

[@tollibit]

listening to you guys talk about food mascots while im working at a grocery store rlly enlightens my shift

[@heytay24]

“ i stain the mattress from my yearning “ that was amazing i loved this episode favorite so far

[@callucacashman3597]

monday is my friday, y’all always help me get through the day and get ready for my weekend 😤💖

[@Lisepooh]

Sarah and Brittany not knowing about vore, then a few minutes later talk about biting Wallace & Gromit and the Pillsbury Doughboy respectively. lol

[@corbinbabb8361]

The furry community’s Mayflower was Noah’s ark 💀

[@htm5814]

The guy who created KFC had a pet crow named Jim so you’re not wrong about the KFC mascot being racist

[@dodgebenson17]

every time im reminded that vore exists my lifespan shortens by a year

[@robertoXCX]

The ones that get it, get it, and the ones that don't, lose a year

[@Singinghomealone]

commenting so you get you have to think about it again

[@bananarama03]

I WAS LAUGHING AT THE KEEBLER ELVES JOKE AND THEN SARAH JUST GOES "you can hear Hannah laughing" MY HEART STOPPED

[@hildyvanhefeweizen2762]

I clean listening to this on my earbud while homeschooling my kiddo. 🤣 Not your target demographic but I look forward to every episode. My kid just shakes her head hearing me bust out laughing randomly. She's into fanfic so listening also helps me navigate that world!

[@nobodygutsme]

idk why this is just like so ... beautiful to hear lol

[@apollo6662]

@@nobodygutsme ikr, so sweet

[@TheLisadmarie]

The Lilo and stitch characters being “thick” was an early attempt at realistic bodies and positivity at the request of Hawaiians requesting they not be portrayed in white standards

[@taylifts]

The fact that I'd seen almost all of those tweets at some point 😭💀 how long have I been on this website

[@taylifts]

Saw a new one today: " im ngl batman is long as shit i fell asleep right after i came "

[@juniousgriggs6213]

'I love the way there so soft-spoken, and old'

[@baylew2904]

The one and only other time I’ve heard lugubrious in a sentence is in the Hercules movie, when Pain (or Panic?) once refers to Hades as “your most lugubriousness”

[@joshcarley7242]

"you said geode the other day and it rocked my world" so sad nobody picked up on on this pun

[@jackiefryfogel7442]

You should do a paranormal episode and bring Brittanys mom on

[@kendra4932]

God i love this fucking podcast. You guys have REAL chemistry and ACTUALLY laugh together so genuinely. Super super rare and consistently funny content ❤️❤️ you guys rock

[@jonaslovesinger]

a podcast has never consistently actually made me laugh as much as you guys do and this easily has become one of my favorite podcasts! Please release these bi-weekly or start a patreon so we can get more content 😭

[@megan7506]

I never thought I would be listening to a podcast where it’s debated whether or not the Hamburger Helper glove is hot but here I am and I am fully on board

[@itsmj3103]

So i dove into why buttholes are darker: reason1: more melanin in the area to protect the skin from inflamation. Anyone who's eaten spicy food can definitely confirm a butthole inflammation, guess it don't help that much; reason2: friction indeed - it hardens and darkens the skin; reason3: repeated stretching and folding appearently darkens the skin too; reason4: gaining weight causes body to produce more insulin to balance blood sugar levels, more insulin produces more melanin for some godforsaken reason and thus: darkening.

[@Denichrimo]

The fact that one of the ads was for pringles. As soon as you spoke about the moustaches THERE HE WAS

[@loggiewoggiewoowoo3913]

I always have found it so wild that sexually charged content begun being released by people on their main accounts for all to see lol. Especially since I grew up with the inception of social media and literally saw this just happen

[@DaniGunn]

clicking on this video as an asexual person i know this is going to be a WILD yet very educational ride for me.. very excited.

[@254Maranda]

I literally listen to y’all to clean, because I’m a custodian at a school . So HEADPHONES ONLY . Love y’all 😂🖤

[@user-kt3zv1cm5j]

ConstableFrozen was VORE?????? That was such a brief meme that i only ever saw in passing but finding out it was vore, of all things, is so jarring 🤣🤣🤣

[@AnaRamirez-sg8tf]

im honestly surprised when yall were talking about food characters that the green m&m didnt get brought up, everyone is feral for her😂

[@stevenlerner5515]

im glad yall are just being honest and no censor... kinda appropriate, but still honest... love it and really hope it keeps going. love u both

[@GaaraFan01]

“ya gonna tell him to stop? he’s almost done!” 😭😭😭 - Ted Cruz about the “staff” watching porn

[@lychee222]

Someone please please PLEASE make a compilation of Sarah‘s one-liners… they have me dying every time 💀

[@hannerandcasi]

shared this podcast with some of my coworkers last week… will not being going into the office for a while

[@elliemiller5121]

this and chuckle sandwich are the only two things keeping me going rn.

[@tf7602]

I love those " x is not hitting at all" tweets followed by some buckwild stuff right after

[@jodieaustin4245]

Thank you thank you thank you, I've been so bored while working and needed this

[@funnymen465]

best thing to start my week off… school sucks, bus is too loud so i drown them out with my favorite creators

[@helloitisi3074]

The Garfield one made me pause the video and think about life for second, that was so cursed.

[@moth5379]

This weeks been ROUGH on tiktok, so I absolutely 100% needed today’s episode thank you for your service 💖💖💖

[@niki3694]

Please please have a vocabulary section where yall go over 5 or so words 😭 I feel enriched knowing what lagoobrius means

[@spiderdude2099]

"Furries walked off the mayflower" I'm fucking dead...

[@kyleeezell581]

They say every intrusive thought I’m too scared to say

[@roux5021]

Deeply disappointed that you didn’t bring up the monstrosity that is Charlie Puth’s TikTok

[@abbierose92]

“Everyone’s turning the volume down” ...I’m fucking crying

[@whoagordo]

That "YES" Brittany let out when she saw the Disney entry way home played in my head when I saw y'all uploaded

[@fai4432]

I’ve never seen a claymation as a child without being traumatized

[@st.shaffer2126]

I've been watching this during my monday lunches the past weeks and 10/10 would recommend. (especially if you are baked as a cake)

[@papa.internet]

this is what i watch while folding my laundry

[@traintracks7199]

"the furries walked off the mayflower" KILLED me

[@00Rav3n00]

Sometimes I can't tell if I'm really innocent, or if somethings people talk about are really niche.

[@ladyloud8796]

Brittany and Sarah are very much giving me Jenna and Julien vibes. I feel the same upbeat and silly tone. I don’t know why I chose the most sexual episode to state it….I’m really not sorry 🤷‍♀️

[@lindaisblue]

yeah! when she read E-Sports i was like Jenna is sponsored by E-Sports 🥲

[@babyscissors7558]

The mash or pass trend on Disney characters feels like this