Violence Is Never The Answer, Right? | The Hunt For The World’s Oldest Man | Runaway Saw Blade Dr…

[@copernicofelinis]

From the outside (Europe, here) it seems so unbelievably crazy that this election could be even vaguely close.

[@markstevens1729]

“United” indeed.

[@jeanbeans7926]

American here. Believe me when we say we think it's insane too. I don't think it will end up being that close, myself.

[@ernesthill4017]

America is slipping into stark, raving madness, my friend 😢

[@WyvernYT]

There are a lot of loud crazies on the internet trying to make it look close.

[@marjoriegarland2798]

​@@WyvernYT Absolutely! I believe that Joe Biden will win by a sizable amount of votes. Social media is just out of control in almost every way possible. 💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙

[@wendyjohnson3254]

The truth shall set us free!!!❤️ Go Stormy! Go Michael Cohen!

[@honpot2016]

what about karen mcdogal?

[@sueblattner]

beware cohen liar con man coverup now spotted as trusted status? boy are we stupid and fickle are we as a social media consumer. Always in late love and truth.

[@thaisstone5192]

@@honpot2016 Spelled it incorrectly. Please try again.

[@silentmajority8365]

TRUMP 2024

[@thaisstone5192]

@@silentmajority8365 You should change the avatar name name to "silentminority"".

[@porfiriato84]

The alcohol bit... Would have been perfect to throw in "cerveza Cristal!!"

[@paynelcasey]

"get back to 69ing Vermont" was some good writing. Hilarious.

[@Hundo_Mo]

6:24 I was 100% expecting CERVESA CRISTAL

[@andrew24601]

Right?? Totally missed opportunity!

[@CelinaAvila]

Yes!

[@kylehd7]

Wait...what is this?

[@Hundo_Mo]

@@kylehd7its… CERVESA CRISTAL!

[@corvos3719]

Yeah, but unlike CERVESA CRISTAL!... ahem, unlike Cervesa Cristal, Bud Light is likely paying. At least, I assume they were, since there was no joke at BL's expense and BL Lime isn't equivalent to aguardiente.

[@kristinheffern4287]

Finally a real Judge with integrity and ethics that follows the law.

[@marjoriegarland2798]

AMEN.

[@Seigensi]

@@marjoriegarland2798 no, that shit is anti-law. Religion out of reality now!

[@jeanneganrude8549]

Unlike Cannon or Cannot. She has egregiously offered the craziest “what ifs” in the world. This so called judge needs a little comeuppance come judgement day or in the next week or so ~

[@aggressiveattitudeera887]

I hope Stormy winks and smiles at Donny during the trial.

[@jeromesullivan4015]

lol, or waves a little mushroom fan…

[@yasuke1280]

Trump derangement syndrome is crazy you guys really be fantasizing😂

[@maryknight4109]

​@@jeromesullivan4015😄😄😄😄😄

[@j.dunlop8295]

God bless America, and I'll never eat mushrooms again!😅🍄 Well maybe a magic one, or two?😅

[@Martell-XO]

she should bring a little 3” potted mushroom to the trial with her.

[@rosehernandez356]

Stormy' won't be intimidated and give great detail, it's her business, A Pro! You go, Girl....

[@j.dunlop8295]

God bless America, and I'll never eat mushrooms again!😅🍄 Well maybe a magic one, or two?😅

[@zedmelon]

​@@j.dunlop8295 okay dude, that's at least three copies of the exact same comment. It was good once... but don't try to make this your fifteen minutes of fame.

[@jeanneganrude8549]

@@zedmelonNow I’m suddenly thinking it’s a bot after defending this statement earlier.

[@zedmelon]

​@@jeanneganrude8549 True, we've seen far less plausible happenings come to pass...

[@bronxdoc]

6:33

[@cindydunning2183]

At the end, Louis and the band look like they're on seventh heaven. They have the greatest job and they appreciate it! I appreciate their awesome music.

[@trip_the_light]

I loved Louis Cato's on-stage cameo as his hologram tries to reach for his guitar. Tim Cook!! 😂

[@ThatDamnTaurus]

April trials brings me smiles😂

[@jkap34]

I've been saying "April snow brings may flowers" because it's snowed at least twice since April 1st. It hasn't stuck, but there have been flakes.

[@mikehennessy6766]

that smile will turn to a frown. hes gunna win and then just pardon himself

[@wendyjohnson3254]

Great line!

[@j.dunlop8295]

God bless America, and I'll never eat mushrooms again!😅🍄 Well maybe a magic one, or two?😅

[@marjoriegarland2798]

😁 Great line!!! 🎉 😂

[@charlesmartin1121]

Normally I hate April 15th (tax day), but this year is a different story. Now where is my popcorn?

[@Lois-o1f]

And beer

[@thelonesomefisherman7425]

A gold toilet is missing? 🤔🤔 Has anyone searched Mar A Lago?? 😂

[@mho...]

think thats more a trumptower thing!

[@zedmelon]

That was my first thought as well. But mho may be right... I think that's more tower than club.

[@marjoriegarland2798]

😂😂😂

[@ianpatrick3589]

Check under thst big pile of boxes marked top secret.

[@charlie-obrien]

My first thought! Also has anyone checked the crime scene for discarded documents or Big Mac wrappers that wouldn't flush? (even after 15 tries) 😳

[@thomasconnors4338]

Gotta love the Militant Centrists. “Give me liberty, Or give me something else!”

[@jonmendelson1104]

5:35 I was really expecting there to be a joke here about our presidential candidates being the contenders for the oldest living man.

[@UniversalJuan]

Same!

[@yurielcundangan9090]

“April trials brings smiles”❤

[@BrendaTheeSolarGirl]

😅😅😅

[@silverhooligan1256]

I wish in the news they had to disclose how a poll was conducted. Are they calling landlines south of the Mason Dixon line? Cell phones? What are the demographics? Who answers unknown calls on their cell phones?

[@JurassicMonkey-x9f]

News broadcasts don't have time for a full explanation. However, you can do it just by using a web browser. Took me less than 30 seconds. BTW RDD is random digit dialing. maristpoll.marist.edu/wp-content/uploads/2024/04/NPR_PBS-NewsHour_Marist-Poll_USA-NOS-and-Tables_202403291554.pdf

[@justintaylor1713]

Yeah that is a problem with polling, most of it is still conducted via landlines if I’m remembering correctly, and what isn’t has trouble with younger people, due to the fact that if we’re not expecting a call, and we don’t recognize the number, we don’t answer

[@carolwarren2020]

@@justintaylor1713I’m 72 and I don’t answer unknown phone callers! I can’t be the only old person doing that?

[@aninewforest]

@silverhooligan Poll respondents are mostly lonely retirees, eyes glazed by the light on a flickering TV.

[@shortsatire5669]

If polls were correct, HRC would have been president. I’ll not answer a poll/survey again until America has dumped Trump. Let marketers/prognosticators wilt on their channels. Horoscopes have a better success rate lately.

[@InfluentialFinance]

That bud light lime was such a missed opportunity for a callback to Cerveza Cristal!

[@justintaylor1713]

I thought the same thing lol

[@asha1920]

I know right

[@sheilaboston7051]

Tbh, I was really disappointed they missed that one.

[@MrVovansim]

Came here for this comment

[@paulklp8262]

The fakeout

[@MiguelRodriguez2010]

God bless Brian, such a wholesome comedic relief. And that’s saying something with Stephen Colbert there ❤

[@therealsilens]

The Cerveza Cristal joke opportunity was right there! 😭

[@zelgadis55tmnt35]

Not gonna lie, I was half expecting it.

[@arf138]

"i need a beer.."9:00... " i'm not going to work today.. ".... LEGEND..

[@Jadeskorpion]

That saw blade is straight out of final destination.

[@marriagereconciliationplaybook]

😂😂 imagine the guy having just saw the movie going in the door thinking "I just can't take any more scares right now"

[@jlbueno0611]

Is odd..but it wouldn't kill him , a saw at that speed would just bounce off . Injure him slightly ?yes, kill or saw him in half? , no

[@Thursdayschildfar2go]

​@@jlbueno0611Tell that to the door.

[@jamesmartin-ic2rj]

you beat me to it,how crazy was that!!?

[@jamesmartin-ic2rj]

@@jlbueno0611 ok let's try that theory on you

[@oppositeofh8]

"tim COOOOOK!" bravo louis. 😹😹😹😹😹 5/5

[@CurtisWhitehead-wn5bs]

Well damn. I would be appalled by a poll asking if AMERICANS would consider violence to solve problems. But I live here. Nothing shocking about that.

[@kimbercole2438]

Bottle whistle was dead on!! Good job colbert!!

[@virginiamiller4890]

Yeah! Luis got some more screen time, AND SMASHED IT! I LOVE THIS SHOW, AND THANK YOU FOR SAVING MY SOUL!

[@heyheytaytay]

I love how Colbert endorsing the simple concept of nonviolence gets applause. Like it's some noble and novel idea or something to aspire to XD

[@CantHandleThisCanYa]

*Nonviolence is non-effective against fascists.*

[@zedmelon]

Lately there's not enough "taking the high road" in the news. We're starved for even the slightest indication of it.

[@jeanbeans7926]

@@zedmelon Agreed, Rump has irreparably degraded human civilization

[@pintpot]

Followed by "4 on 1 - we can take these guys!" A truly great one liner. I'll be thinking about that for a few weeks.

[@kane-vn6bn]

mostly peaceful???

[@situational.analysis]

"Oh, Stormy, oh, Stormy Bring back that sunny day" - Classics IV

[@SofiaAlli-gg6ic]

Love the show, u great dude, watching from my Sithole country in Africa (lol).

[@joshuacanup4754]

88 charges? He has a charge for every key on a piano.

[@andrewstevenson118]

Nice catch 🙂

[@grumpydave7329]

Ebony And Ivory There is one key for every Felony... lol

[@dash-underscore_name.]

Noice!

[@andrewstevenson118]

@@grumpydave7329 Superb

[@MrPhotodoc]

That was my old badge number. He can't have that!

[@kaysons9736]

I love you Stephen Colbert for making us laugh and telling about Trump.

[@sydryi3086]

Don’t f this up America get that man in prison now.

[@kane-vn6bn]

hunter?

[@vsznry]

christian nationalists. we can deal with druggies and oldness after. priorities.@@kane-vn6bn

[@markkrull556]

Trump needs to go to jail already my God

[@markkrull556]

@@kane-vn6bn yes if Connor committed a crime sure put him in jail

[@NOCALGooN916]

​@@markkrull556he's been getting caught in crimes for years now 🤦‍♂️🤦‍♂️🤦‍♂️

[@TraciJoseph-h2h]

Forget the toilet. At my work building, someone strolled in with a wheel cart, loaded up our vending machine, and strolled right out in front of 3 deputies. Brazen as all get out - stole our vending machine 😂

[@MeissnerEffect]

Gotta always gets me my Colbert giggles 🤭 ❤

[@Tonyhouse1168]

I can’t wait to never hear about donnie drumpf ever again!

[@mikehennessy6766]

that will never happen dude. all this show does now is talk about trump and taylor swift. but you're right, its getting old

[@takingbacktheplanet]

amen

[@Catzilla931]

You got that right

[@zedmelon]

​@@mikehennessy6766 > _it's getting old_ Nice callback to the "oldest man alive" segment.

[@DamnedSilly]

Trump's father lived into his 90s. It could be a while.

[@stephanielight4161]

Great line Louis Cato 🤣🤣🤣

[@tarahill2193]

Stormy should sue for PTSD 😊

[@anitajohnson819]

Can we all sue

[@thelastobasknight3966]

Yes, they say "April showers bring May flowers." But you know what Mayflowers bring? Pilgrims. Just ask the Natives how that turned out...

[@helenswan705]

that is quite a cool segue

[@smiller2044]

That "Darn you Tim Cook!" Almost was lost on me. But who is Tim Cook? Thought his name was 🍎 Tim Apple! 😂

[@professorharmless7512]

Stephen doesn't have a drinking problem. It goes down just fine.

[@davidanderson_surrey_bc]

Four-foot circular saw rips across parking lot and drives itself into convenience-store doorframe. Ten seconds later it's followed by Thor's hammer.

[@billgallaher339]

RIP Juan Vicente Bismora. Meanwhile (as Craig Ferguson noted), the curse of the world's oldest man continues......

[@roserose8283]

I laughed more at your Comment than any of the late night hosts on KZbin this morning!! 😆

[@IOSALive]

The Late Show with Stephen Colbert, This made me so happy! I liked and subscribed!

[@trekkiejunk]

''Sixty-Nining Vermont'' is probably the most clever joke i've ever heard Colbert tell.

[@SeattleSun2013]

They live that long because they have a nice, comfortable place to live and a loving family that takes care of them.

[@FasterThanLightBright]

Actually 6:30 where he blows the beer bottle with two perfect notes was quite amazing. You can hear the surprise of the musicians. Delightful.

[@j.dunlop8295]

God bless America, and I'll never eat mushrooms again!😅🍄 Well maybe a magic one, or two?😅

[@cheretodd9949]

I can't believe you're about my city, Eugene, Oregon!❤

[@boomer150]

I know, I live in Eugene too.

[@rockyfennell]

But... KGW 8 is Portland station, not Eugene, right?

[@kmcq692]

KLCC! That dude’s comment was perfectly Eugene too. 😎 😂

[@kitanamonroe2689]

I'm an independent and i would fight for my freedom and democracy!!!

[@HomeAtOahu]

"April trials, brings me smiles!" I love it!😂😂😂

[@Daddy_B]

"...they're very different." Truth.

[@boomer150]

Greetings from Eugene Oregon I have been to that store, long time ago. So strange to see Eugene being talked about by Stephen. We never make national news.

[@Magic_turtle5]

Same here! That clip horrified me, though; what a way to make the news.

[@pintpot]

You had the World Athletics Championships just 2 years ago. I watched every moment of it from here in Singapore. Thank you. You have a beautiful city.

[@Anonymouse428]

@@pintpot that championship was such a disappointment. I worked at two different popular tourist spots in Eugene at the time, and we were expecting all these people to show up- bupkis! Everywhere was even more dead than usual because even locals stayed home too, avoiding the crowds that weren’t.

[@Magic_turtle5]

@@pintpot Thank you! That means a lot coming from someone living in Singapore (I mean, talk about beautiful). I'm, personally, very proud of our little city. ❤

[@davidgrech4574]

Thank you for always making me smile 💪🙏

[@tychodragon]

Cobert is a GEM

[@roserose8283]

💎 ‼️

[@jamesmorett6184]

Aquardiente is the national alcoholic happy juice of Venezuela and Colombia It has a licorice/ Sambuca taste and a few whole coffee beans are sometimes added for extra zippity do da !!😂 Yeah get some It will also help your sticker peck out 😮😊

[@michelejensen1527]

I love the Golden toilet joke!!!⭐️

[@camelsheit_on_the_walls446]

“The biggest threat to America today is not communism, it’s moving America toward a fascist theocracy, and everything that’s happened during the Reagan administration is steering us right down that pipe.” - Frank Zappa, 1986

[@amiciprocul8501]

Too right, damn liberals (and I mean liberals not leftists get it right) are literally sleepwalking into a fascist theocracy because of their devotion to civility and their sycophancy for Capitalism as a system, the rime for civility is over, either we stand here or they smother us in our sleep.

[@ObviouslyProductions]

Frank was one of the most witty characters in history.

[@ninjabluefyre3815]

As far as I'm concerned, Reagan is THE moment when EVERYTHING went horribly wrong!

[@j.dunlop8295]

God bless America, and I'll never eat mushrooms again!😅🍄 Well maybe a magic one, or two?😅

[@catherinephonevalencia2937]

And brilliant. ​@@ObviouslyProductions

[@Opus313]

Listening to Donnie always sparks a sense of wonder... such as wondering how the late night hosts will mock him mercilessly!

[@aggressiveattitudeera887]

6:50-7:05. That was some "Final Destination" shit!

[@Achdujeh]

You know that someone is a genuinely nice dude when he even doesn't know how to properly scream with anger ❤

[@marcuslegion3654]

Yeah this guy was on Epstein's Island... And sure you're going to try to play what about ism. But what was he doing there? Take a wild guess

[@aquatus1]

"Aguardiente" literally translates to "burning water". In Chile, instead of dinner we have a sort of expanded tea time call "onze" ("eleven", not to be confused with "elevenses"). Why eleven? Because back in the olden days, it wasn't polite to drink in front of the ladyfolk, so the men would excuse themselves to go for "eleven", the number of letters in "aguardiente".

[@lizardog]

Thank you. That was interesting.

[@junglechick13]

En serio? Here it's called Guaro. It is indeed burning water 😜 que asco

[@BigGoronSword]

Instead of Bud Lite Lime, they could have gone with the "Cerveza Cristal"

[@RazorFoxDV]

Aguardiente is a shot drink, Stephen! No chugging!

[@Lois-w3o]

Whoops...😂😂

[@chaslam1945]

Hope this trial puts him in jail

[@MrBayspring]

Don't hold your breath.

[@stephenbouchelle7706]

Violence is division at its paramount.

[@navada4789]

“I need a beer, it’s 9 O’Clock, I’m not going to work today” I hope that man took the best self care day possible.

[@victoriabaker4400]

Yes, "it makes it more natural.." Great commentary, hilarious Louis (Luis?) inclusion. I love hearing him laugh.

[@blas5i]

Makes me So happy whenever Brian Stack is on.

[@ChrisSamuel1729]

What was the Brian Stack bit referencing? Sounds like something Steve Buscemi has said in some film somewhere, but I can’t put my finger on it.

[@lizardog]

@@ChrisSamuel1729 Living In Oblivion maybe?

[@arguementenderz8738]

Brian is always funny

[@adamkis3569]

"He's surfing in Nebraska." My favourite way to say that somebody's not the brightest. Could possibly apply to what's happening in Nebraska?

[@willjennings7191]

Violence is a problem, and never an answer.

[@whatabout..]

"BALLS" The first Judge to grow them will be a Hero! BALLS.

[@jeanbeans7926]

haha, true that!

[@gacj2010]

Leftists lack testosterone...look at that nut judge in nyc

[@gacj2010]

Libs lack balls

[@anthonysilvestri4946]

Trump is going down like Don Jr on a fresh cut key of blow!!! 🙂

[@bernitajenkins7581]

Yeah, let's see how JNR manages without his 'Mexican marching powder'... Unless he becomes a 'bitch' for one of the cartel... In prison.

[@j.dunlop8295]

God bless America, and I'll never eat mushrooms again!😅🍄 Well maybe a magic one, or two?😅

[@vsznry]

#separationofchurchandstate @@j.dunlop8295

[@cachi-7878]

I still can’t get over that saw barreling down the street only to wedge itself right where that very lucky guy was just seconds earlier. Totally insane!

[@jeanbeans7926]

Crazy to see that, OMG

[@Lois-w3o]

And the way it Skipped Across the Parking Lot...just WoW...😮😅

[@jeanneganrude8549]

Had I been him, I’d have bought a lottery ticket right then. His luck was SCREAMING at him ~

[@MonkeyJedi99]

That saw blade would not have come loose if that guy had just gotten on the plane and sat in his assigned seat.

[@SugarandSarcasm]

If my pants weren't brown before that (if it were me), then they definitely would have been afterward

[@davidgriego278]

Stephen, Love your Monologue! I can see Trump seeing it, and choking on a Chicken Wing!!!

[@RLLE-dl3oy]

How would violence solve divisions?! 🤦🏼‍♂️

[@denisem8356]

Brian Stack is the best! Loved him on Conan! Love him here!

[@andrewrobertson1473]

"He tries. He's well-meaning"

[@BurgermeisterMeisterburger-v7x]

I’d like to thank all three judges for allowing the prosecution of Donald Trump to proceed.

[@wendyjohnson3254]

Yes- Merchant, Chutkin and Mcafee. Judge Cannon is a loose Cannon, corrupt Cannon

[@j.dunlop8295]

God bless America, and I'll never eat mushrooms again!😅🍄 Well maybe a magic one, or two?😅

[@tarahill2193]

​@@j.dunlop8295 Please share✨️💙😜🙏🏾😍

[@Ze_Moose]

Say no to mushrooms 😎

[@coachtaewherbalife8817]

Baby mushrooms never stand erect but always blow in the wind.

[@keithmoorechannel]

As a person living in Thailand I appreciated the reference to Muay Thai!

[@sharpeslass5452]

That poor woman didn't get paid enough.

[@likebot.]

Sawblade: Sorry 'bout that Chief! Missed him by _that_ much.

[@dannyf1168]

I love Brian Stack

[@cinnabae6127]

That saw looked like it was auditioning for Final Destination 😨

[@saphriaofhogwarts]

A new Final Destination movie may be on the horizon!

[@Thursdayschildfar2go]

I really expected to see Tony Todd in the parking lot.

[@Bobb11881]

I was hoping that the aguardiente was going to be Cerveza Cristal.

[@gus.smedstad]

Between the runaway saw and the gold toilet, it feels like Meanwhile has invaded the monologue.

[@mangokraken]

Aguardiente Agua Ardiente FIRE WATER lol

[@democratpatriot6752]

Will Stormy bring a copy of Forbes magazine?

[@thearmchairjournalist566]

Watching 1000’s of views tick over while I’m watching this gives me hope that maybe comedy will help us overcome this debacle 😂

[@Catzilla931]

I wrote a report to the court about a man who shoplifted a CANOE! The security guard held the door open for when he left. Just as heads were about to roll he came back. Not to return the canoe in some fit of conscience. He CAME BACK FOR THE OARS!!!

[@cathywethington5913]

When I was in my twenties, I worked for a department store that had two cockatoo shoplifted

[@johnreuter4916]

@@cathywethington5913 Isn't that redundant?

[@dancepiglover]

Violence to solve political issues? I thought we were more civilized than that by now. 🤦‍♀️☹️

[@TerenceMichaelReeves]

When some people treat your existence as political; violence is inevitable.

[@lizardog]

I thought so too, and then Rittenhouse was acquitted.

[@jeannieschweitzer1754]

Nope…

[@suzankathleen3953]

Eugene, Oregon, is a place where many citizens feel the need to have a beer at 9 AM. Some stay home from work, some don't.

[@alananderson5202]

That’s because they have to deal with the consequences of their Democrat government destroying their state.

[@DimJongUn]

Brian Stack is a legend and one of the funniest people ever. Kids, go watch his stuff on Late Night with Conan.

[@isaacnielsen334]

His Martha Stewart impression is a favorite of mine

[@ChrisSamuel1729]

What was the Brian Stack bit referencing? Sounds like something Steve Buscemi has said in some film somewhere, but I can’t put my finger on it.

[@lorrainesmith6993]

YES!YES!!YES!!! :) U make me so happy. . Thank you for doing what you do ❤😊

[@yasuke1280]

Jeez get a hold of yourself weirdo

[@dav0n]

Why am I the ONLY one mad that Rump’s trials won’t be televised despite the American People being the victims of his crimes?!?

[@dwaugh2215]

On the bright side, we don’t have hear his voice without vomiting or earplugs

[@ss67camaronut]

Biggest class action case in history !

[@dav0n]

@@ss67camaronut where do u sign up?

[@RobBanks93]

I worry for the safety of jury members if they are televised.

[@dav0n]

@@RobBanks93 OJ’s jury was just fine. So are the special purpose grand jury members who spoke out against Rump in GA. It’s not fair that everyone around him has to alter their behavior just to accommodate him. Instead of locking his ass up for the threats he’s inciting like anyone else would’ve been a long time ago!

[@robertgandler3177]

Spot on honest and hysterical as always thanks!

[@zunipus]

Yay. I'm looking forward to this trial. HANDOUT: 🍿🍿🍿🍿🍿 I Love You Brian Stack!

[@Coolestmovies]

Sawblade dude abided!

[@cosmicraysshotsintothelight]

Still shakin'

[@patbrennan6572]

How would trump know about about Nebraska's second district ? In real life he's never heard of that state. Who's behind the scenes?

[@christianboehlefeld5168]

Omaha is where Warren Buffet lives, so Trump would have heard of it as it is the home of an actual billionaire.

[@akinpaws]

Bannon, Miller, Flynn? Leo?

[@abc-bu7nr]

​@@christianboehlefeld5168 I'm sure he thought Omaha was the near the village of Mutual.

[@arthurdowney2846]

"You know what they say about Nebraska?" "Who the fuck is talking about Nebraska??"

[@Lois-w3o]

😂😂😂...

[@gweebara]

Yeah this whole concept's corny

[@kennyn1992]

This deserves 311 likes.

[@bryanergau6682]

Method Man.

[@chrislinhares7311]

Great reporting: "A 4-foot concrete saw came loose".

[@TheMulToyVerse]

What better way to feel like you are spending time with your alive friends, than to see them in a specter form transparently floating in the shallow distance