Visiting my babies at the hospital & date night with Erik

[@abbygerlofs1648]

NICU nurse here! We get really giddy when moms bring in tons of milk- makes us happy! It’s great to see them both on room air, with only NGs and IVs. I’ve taken care of infants the same gestation as your twins who were doing a lot worse. Don’t get discouraged by the bili lights, your boy might have to be on the eventually too. It’s common in preemies and also with your family history. Ask the NICU if they have MP (micro preemie) diapers- they would fit them better. Also in the middle of the night when you’re pumping or just missing them- call the NICU! Don’t feel bad about bugging the nurses and asking for updates or just how they are doing to ease your nerves. We NICU nurses love talking to attentive and involved parents at anytime day or night! PS: I doubt they will be there 5 weeks. I usually see infants go home around their due date. We usually tell parents longer to stay on the safe time and avoid discouragement. Instead of incubators or boxes call them isolettes! Or beds :)

[@tyladahl-monroe2697]

Their due date was December 27th so that would be like 8 weeks vs 5. So hopefully their nurses are right about the 5!

[@pc-u-18]

I saw that the girl was sucking on a pacifier in her IG story, that’s good right? I imagine it helps her start the sucking motion and transition to bottle and eventually breast feeding, correct?

[@miradeniseee]

@@tyladahl-monroe2697 they can come before their due date i swear i will go by so fast

[@abbygerlofs1648]

@@pc-u-18 yes pacifiers are great for them to learn how to start sucking. It helps them to self soothe as well!

[@pc-u-18]

@@abbygerlofs1648 she also said they will most likely be home by Christmas and their due date is 2 days later. Is it likely that will happen?

[@jessicag8807]

Erik is literally husband goals. He’s precious and so supportive.

[@ToenjesFamilyVlogs]

AGREE!!

[@meganferguson9888]

he talked to her so sweetly when she was feeling insecure about her feet. I’m sure he makes her feel absolutely beautiful & she is❤️

[@imtotallynotactinglikeimno6187]

@@meganferguson9888 yes. A g

[@gembay7772]

Eric is the best husbando

[@alufmangoes6082]

i didn't tell my girlfriend that her best friend dropped me home after i got drunk and kissed me on my way out of her car.

[@urmum9875]

I have boy girl twin siblings, who were premature, and I was asking my mom what she did when my siblings were in the NICU, and she said she would cry ALOT, but one thing that made her feel better was when my dad called it "The Baby Hotel," so maybe that will help you feel better if you think about it like that. They're having a luxury spa day, and really fun visits from their parents everyday!

[@maren3764]

BABY HOTEL im crying i love that

[@megang5952]

I love this comment sooo much!!!

[@back_to_neverland]

This! I hope Colleen sees this

[@gabbiehernandez7390]

*The Baby Hotel* pls 😭❤️

[@qudsiajavaid]

I want Colleen to read this 🌻

[@MarcMarshall94]

I feel terrible laughing at this but Colleen plugging the "No Sleep" hoodie while she clearly looks beyond exhausted was tragically funny and perfect lmao

[@theresadunstan6629]

At least we know her merch is true to her lol

[@nikkis7375]

And then in another video she cries while wearing the “i cry a lot” tee shirt haha love it

[@MarcMarshall94]

@@nikkis7375 She knows how to be unintentionally on brand lmao

[@aprilknaus]

I appreciate her brand of humor so much

[@abigailgrace4733]

Hehe

[@djperses1]

I just love how Erik is coming on the camera more often now and seems to be more comfortable with it. I love your love for each other. You guys have a beautiful family and you are so strong, mama! Keep keeping on!

[@maddiesteinbock2370]

Yes their relationship is beautiful❤️

[@balyssiayelp3620]

@h They never said he needs to they just said he seems like he is 😁

[@LifeOfLiana]

kzbin.info/www/bejne/qZmapX9nmJeUg7c Christmas !!

[@andreaa5647]

One of the things I did when my daughter was in the nicu was leave music for the nurses to play for her. Your babies have heard your beautiful singing from inside your tummy, maybe you could record some songs for them to hear at the hospital when you aren’t able to be there. You're doing great, Colleen. I know it doesn’t feel like it, but you really are. 💛

[@westcoastbrenda9209]

This!!

[@adrianelys.sanchez7156]

This is an awesome solution for her! I’m a music teacher and feel like someone who like Colleen expresses her self and her love through music this would really help her

[@jennifercampbell2512]

I hope she sees this!

[@tinkbella450]

This is such a sweet and beautiful idea!

[@janizzle1015]

such a great idea!

[@kayemma443]

This is random but I was just realizing how much more comfortable on camera Erik has become. I still remember when he was mostly off camera and his voice was in videos, but now Colleen freely turns the camera to him and (I hope this is true anyway) he enjoys it! So glad we get to see this whole beautiful family loving each other every single day ❤️

[@rheakg]

I know!! I love seeing Erik and their interactions, HES such a sweet person!

[@rheakg]

I didn’t mean to capitalize he lol it comes off as shady but i love them both so much!

[@ToenjesFamilyVlogs]

I think having the podcast has helped him open up;.

[@napfenylilla]

But what is really fascinating is that Erin is an actor, he used to be on camera and despite this he was camera shy with Colleen 😅

[@kayemma443]

@@napfenylilla he’s said that he feels more comfortable portraying a character on camera than himself

[@iambean4724]

I love that she said Erik said “okay” when she told him she just needed to cry. I tell my loved ones this when I feel sad or even when I suffer a panic attack cause sometimes I prefer to cry and work through it on my own. Sometimes you just need to cry

[@LifeOfLiana]

kzbin.info/www/bejne/qZmapX9nmJeUg7c Christmas :)

[@madisonelizabeth329]

I love how in the birthing video she said “this may be the last video I ever post” and in the past three days she’s posted about four. We love you Colleen and you and your babies are so strong!

[@erickiagallup5291]

When you’re pumping, you ARE breastfeeding. Don’t sell yourself short. Pumping is so so difficult, and you’re doing great!

[@live2travel301]

❤️❤️

[@lesley8655]

that’s exactly what I was thinking!

[@angelwaight9896]

You can tell Eriks love language is physical touch🥺 Everytime Colleen is talking to the blog his face is always snuggled up right next to her😩 it’s the cutest thing ever

[@rhettmitchell]

I knowww 🥺

[@stephanielombardozzi2971]

I’m shocked at how well Flynn talks being that he’s only two. You guys are doing amazing!!

[@OnlyMichaelJackson]

Ikr

[@perfectlyimperfect2368]

I just wanted to say how impactful I found you saying "my body was doing what all those machines are doing" in one of your videos. That really hit me and is just a reminder of the power a pregnant woman's body has! And while I'm a woman who will never have that opportunity,it still doesn't take away how incredible our bodies are! Sending all my love to you and your family! ❤

[@sarahp3144]

Cool perspective! Thanks for posting, gives me something to think about.

[@sarahlynes2248]

Same! I’ve been thinking about that ever since she said it

[@aitanaperez1028]

eric is literally the sweetest person in the whole world example: colleen: "you have to still be in love with me after you see my feet" eric: "i am so in love with you" PRECIOUS

[@benjaminedwards8133]

Mothers telling their stories is so so so important for our healing and evolving as humans. Thank you for being so raw, Colleen!!! Thank you so very much.

[@apw474]

I agree!! I’m so grateful she’s taking us along this journey

[@kassierafferty3021]

Ik and sh3 is sharing all of this with us❤️❤️

[@Bubbijs]

When Erik said “I thought you were gonna get coffee ice cream” Flynn’s response “Oh sorry aha- I’m gonna get coffee ice cream” so sweet and funny

[@florajones1]

I know righttt🥺🥺🥺

[@OnlyMichaelJackson]

He's so cute 😭😭

[@kaylav9305]

I loved “date night.” I know we only see a snippet of your lives, but I love your parenting and marriage. Y’all seem so healthy and just kind to one another and it’s really beautiful. Praying for your sweet little 🐞 and 🐛

[@roadto200kgdeadlift]

🙏🏽

[@sonnie_cosplay]

I just ADORE how supportive and loving Erik is to you. That man adores you and it's obvious. I can't claim to imagine how difficult this time in your life is, and you and your family are in my prayers, but it makes me so happy to see you and Erik staying strong together and still being so happy to be together.

[@thunderhipsxbl]

I'm a twin c section mama, and I totally understand that feeling of grieving a 'normal' birth, the first instant skin to skin with your babies, having them home, feeding them straight away. my girls are 2 and I still grieve for it. My c section recovery was also horrendous, so dealing with that, the pain of having to leave your babies everyday, you are AMAZING

[@catherinep7483]

I love how Erik and Flynn both have chaotic lovable idiot vibes, just like "I gots a gummy beeear" "You gots gummy bear?" "Yeah, see?" *Opens mouth* "THAT'S A GUMMY BEAR"

[@isabelprohaska5611]

I love how comfortable Erik is in front of the camera now. I love his personality and love for Colleen. He’s awesome 😂❤️

[@nikkij2227]

Me too. I feel like the podcast helped him be more comfortable on her channel.

[@pokedizzsbestiepokekat]

I'VE BEEN THINKING THE EXACT SAME 💯 😁🥰

[@stefuhfuhmarie]

Yes! Reminds me that you really do end up falling for your best friend. 🥺💜

[@coltjames9159]

Yeah! I love it, it's so nice seeing him be himself now.

[@maddiesteinbock2370]

🙌

[@noellerich3534]

Colleen, as a mama, I am crying right there with you. Remember when you felt bad about not journaling for the twins like you did for Flynn? Maybe you could now, in the moments you miss them while you are away! You could talk about your hopes for them, what you love about them, what they have to look forward to at home, etc. Sending you lots of love and strength! You're an amazing mom!

[@alexandriaedwards10]

The NICU parent club isn’t one you want to be in, but once you’re here, there’s no community you feel more connected to. I’m sorry you’re here, but I hope the love and support you have received give you strength in your weakest moments. ❤️

[@Stephanieweikle]

Ive been a member of the club size 07 and i agree with you about the support and stuffs

[@purpcrayon]

Yes the ✨community!!✨ It’s definitely all that got me through that traumatic time. ❤️

[@sarahp3144]

What a kind thing to say. And yes, I echo your sentiment. ♥️

[@erinmarie6736]

It’s so refreshing to see people on KZbin being *real* people!!! Seeing someone’s real, raw, and stressful parts of life, unfiltered. It just really brings me so much joy.😭

[@amandarivera25]

“Oh sorry, I’m gonna get coffee ice cream” Flynn is so adorable

[@meganferguson9888]

I rewatched that part so many times. he is so freaking precious!

[@lilypaige9794]

flynn is so freaking cute his i love his “easily distracted by bugs shirt” and his random “i have to poop” 😭

[@jinankabbara5898]

Flynn’s “Easily distracted by bugs” shirt is so cute 😂

[@popmusic2008]

It's so perfect for him!!

[@anna04114]

@@popmusic2008 frrrrr!

[@cierabisch3857]

And then his dancing and randomly “I gotta poop”

[@Pet_Obsessed5253]

I need that shirt in my size🤣

[@amyfrazier6763]

I was thinking the same thing 😂

[@freejvaK11]

Flynn: “Oh sorry, I’m gonna get coffee ice cream.” He has such good manners, he’s so smart!

[@hayleyyy30]

I came here to say this!! He’s adorable and genuinely intelligent.

[@samcarit8535]

When she talked about her milk with the Pokémon slides I fucking DIED

[@ItsIvyy]

Same, I was crying thinking about my traumatic birth experience to crying laughing at that and now my family thinks I'm a psychopath. 😭

[@stephanie-fh2jd]

ME TOO LMAO 😭😭

[@maureentoth2781]

me fucking to

[@redyellow415]

lol YES same

[@ClaireBurgi]

I have to wonder if that was Kory or Colleen's idea!!! Genius

[@victoriacollins3026]

erik and flynn’s relationship is so cute. they have such a good father son bond ❤️

[@Anniebells1628]

They do

[@elizabethquinn8362]

I can't even imagine how painful and difficult NICU parenting is, y'all are all real-life super heroes. The strongest people in the world

[@emilstr11]

You could not have worded it better

[@datgaydangernoodle1315]

Agreed.

[@rachelcarl6169]

When do we get to meet the Pet Cockroaches 🤣 and do they have names Flynn is so Sticken Cute . I can not wait til Flynn gets to meet his little sister and brother 💕👣💕👣💕👣💕👣💕

[@rachelcarl6169]

Is anyone else dieing of laughter watching Erik paint Colleens Toes 🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@shannonmccarthy3461]

@@rachelcarl6169 she introduced them in an earlier vlog ill try and find it. There names are John and John 🤣

[@rebeccamari]

I'm a twin and NICU baby and this is giving me so much empathy for my mom. So glad your twins are doing well and looking forward to seeing them go home with you!

[@teddieblue6723]

Im a NICU baby! Im the first born and was born a month early but my sister is totally normal mfao

[@petrawarburton8975]

I am too with a twin brother just like Colleen’s babies!! I’ve never asked my mom about her experience but this has inspired me to ask her

[@lisa5507]

Tip from a german midwife: you can take small hand mirrors to the NICU, that way when you are having skin to skin, you will actually be able to see their faces through the mirror. Also you are doing so amazing and I wish you all the best in the world. Thank you for sharing your experience with us! Greetings

[@hernameispekka_Rebecca]

Commenting to try and bump this comment!

[@lauramaria99999]

Yesss to this comment

[@jumexgurl]

Bump!

[@kenda2938]

yesss!

[@alufmangoes6082]

i didn't tell my girlfriend that her best friend picked me up from the bar after kissed me after we reached my place.

[@salemslady]

The last vlog had me in tears. As a Mum of two (not twins) I totally feel your frustration and sadness. I was fortunate that both of my births were more simple, but the pull and need to care for your babies being taken out of your hands is heartbreaking. 😔 But sooner than you think they will be with you, and with their family where they belong. Meanwhile, take care of yourself so you can be at your best when they are where they belong 🥰🥰🥰

[@salemslady]

Also, Cry. Cry your heart out if you feel you need to. It's the most natural way to release the frustration, what your mind and body has just experienced is a huge trauma. Even 'normal' birth situations put your mind and body so out of whack it's unreal. Take time 🥰

[@coracartereditz]

You always say the baby’s are doing amazing but so are you!

[@marcelaboudreau106]

I agree! Mama of two here too and had 2 csections. Just keep telling yourself that this is the worse it will ever be. Each day is an accomplishment. And each day you are getting closer to having them at home and recovering!

[@guccionmycuchi1360]

omg salem i used to watch your uhshe congrats on being a mother

[@salemslady]

@@guccionmycuchi1360 thank you 🥰

[@Kat-hp8xc]

“I almost said his name” ahhhh I almost squealed, I’m so happy you have a name for him. Sending so much love to your entire family. The biggest hugs, and so much love and support to you.

[@vedaprabhakar1492]

she has names for both of them! she said so i’m her last vlog :)

[@bayleebarker3785]

i swear i heard her say “hi sophia”

[@vedaprabhakar1492]

@@bayleebarker3785 OMG WHEN

[@bayleebarker3785]

@@vedaprabhakar1492 7:30 ish

[@loretaaliu1047]

@@bayleebarker3785 i think she said hi sweet girl 🥲

[@alisonintheburgh]

Flynn dancing for frozen yogurt and then “I gotta poop” is a whole mood. 😂😂😂

[@quackity3343]

"Their mouths are significantly smaller than my nipple" "I don't know if it's their mouths fault" Oh my god Erik!✋😂

[@amandaperez6809]

"Beautiful nip town"

[@nevadag606]

Oh my haven’t seen this bit! Erik outta pocket today 🤣🤣

[@arabellaaguilar6428]

JAIL

[@BreAnnaMahoney20]

@@nevadag606 💀

[@TinyPigy282]

Flynn's speech is so well developed, he's using time phrases and everything. He's a gem ❤

[@LifeOfLiana]

kzbin.info/www/bejne/qZmapX9nmJeUg7c Christmas !

[@grimbles1273]

I was just thinking about how far its come. He does so well now

[@ameliarose47]

"at least one girl that she can relate to" literally made me wanna cry bc ik Bailey loves all her brothers and cousins and that she has girl cousins on her mom's side, but at Ballinger get togethers she'll have a little girl cousin around and that just makes me so happy for her.

[@morpheus636]

And they share a birthday!

[@ellebee511]

& they have the same birthday 😭 you know Bailey is going to ADORE these babies!

[@RachelOLeary]

as a mom of a nicu baby- they didn't offer those scenty bowties when my girl was born. I got a little verklempt when you mentioned it because its such a great idea.

[@LifeOfLiana]

kzbin.info/www/bejne/qZmapX9nmJeUg7c Christmas !! :)

[@SallyH247]

Anyone else just DYING to a) Find out their names!!!! b) See Flynn's first reaction to his new siblings!!! Literally CAN NOT WAIT!!!!!!!

[@bella-id5fs]

YES. i can't wait for both of those things.

[@savannahbertram2116]

Can we all just appreciate home amazing Rachel and Cory are and how they are always there for Colleen! Like how amazing are they for literally with ,no notice, going and doing a photo shoot for her merch! Also they are so stunning in the pictures, they are so photogenic!! Love you Cory, Rachel, and Colleen!! P.s. Colleen you are such and amazing mom and strong woman and all of us are so proud of you!!💗

[@meghankelie2107]

Oh Colleen, I feel your emotions deeply. My son was born at 27 weeks 4 years ago. He couldn’t breathe on his own for months… he had a brain bleed. I couldn’t hold him without him not breathing on me. It was traumatizing. I was such a mess. Crying randomly for weeks, I was admitted to ER. I was also a milk machine like you, isn’t it amazing what our bodies can do for our babies away from us? You’re a super mama. I remember those every 3 hour alarms to pump like it was yesterday. It was so hard to push through that. You’re right, no one understands unless you go through it. They look so healthy and like they are doing well. Such good color on them. The c section pain is no joke too…. I had an emergency as well. I’m 25 weeks with my second! I’m little nervous but hoping to carry longer . Much love to your family ❤️

[@cecilia4267]

im so sorry :(

[@Claireannette77]

Bless it🥺 I’m so sorry! I’m sending you and your family good vibes💕 Can I be nosey and ask their names?😂😂 I love baby name videos😂

[@vedaschaefer3918]

@@Claireannette77 omg same! The best baby name KZbinr is SJ Strum!

[@Claireannette77]

@@vedaschaefer3918 Yes! Her and Heidi from Baby Name Sunday!! I love your name I have it in my list😩💕

[@vedaschaefer3918]

@@Claireannette77 aww thank you! I’ll be sure to check out Heidi too 🥰

[@chloepaperd9758]

Collen saying how she hasn’t filmed much but here I am trying to catch up on twin content !! Love you guys ❤️❤️

[@xjaykay]

I showed my mom your recent vlogs and she instantly remembered 1000% 29 years later still how she felt when I was born and needed to be incubated, and empathizes about how you felt about being away from the twins. She was glad I can understand better what she went through as you share them here. She sends her best and encouragement to hang on and know it’ll be sooner than later, the babies will be home. ❤️

[@jaimiegirl23]

As a NICU nurse I wanna say you are doing incredible Colleen! Don’t be afraid to feel your emotions, they are going to be everywhere for awhile. Please lean on your support system and the nurses for support. Also yes, your milk supply is AMAZING! 😍 can’t wait to hear their names!!!

[@jaimiegirl23]

Also, we call the incubators “giraffe beds” where I work (that’s the brand name). A little cuter and less scary then incubator in my opinion! ❤️

[@lucypietsch]

@@jaimiegirl23 aww thats cute (:

[@kaylee1127]

The fact that she just had not 1, but 2 children AND from a C second, and she STILL continues to put up vlogs for us every day. Colleen is literally the best! ❤️

[@Ell_Editz21]

*section

[@kaylee1127]

@@Ell_Editz21 yes…

[@airasyifaathaya8920]

Yepp

[@brynnmariee9054]

the way you interact with flynn, during the "goldfish" part, i just know you're going to be an amazing mom to these babies as well. it made me smile so hard, youre a great mom and treat flynn the best possible way

[@mariedrege894]

Can we just talk about the fact that Colleen just had not one, but TWO babies and is still uploading not one but multiple videos? I can’t even finish my school work on time even tho I sit home alone all day. What a strong and beautiful human!❤️

[@mejustchillin6495]

also she has a toddler!!!!

[@mariedrege894]

@@mejustchillin6495 I know right!

[@chicken_haver2111]

She’s a literal superhero!!

[@kaiaswrld]

Me sitting at home watching Colleen all day instead of doing my schoolwork💀

[@hyunjiniret87]

Strong FOR WHAT????

[@BestThingIveNeverHad]

Okay but LITTERALLY, when Erik said "I'm so in love with you" looking up at you under his hair from the floor, I saw baby Flynn in adult years lol.

[@abbeynielson892]

What time is it at???

[@jesusandmaryjane]

@@abbeynielson892 21:40

[@lauren3173]

I’m adopted. This really made me think hard about what it would have been like for my mother to give birth to me and have to leave me. We (her and I) are from a really poor village in India. My adoptive family and I think she just couldn’t take care of me. I don’t doubt that it was hell for her to have to leave me just after birth. I never really sat down and thought about what that was like for her. I mean, I have, but never enough to actually process things because I thought that if I thought about it too much it would wreck me. But I think it’s time I should process those feelings.

[@noodle3851]

OR….

[@lifewithmesarahmarie]

Praying for you. That is so much and I am so proud of you for having the courage to face it all. You’ve got this! 🥰

[@iamellie1175]

she must have loved you so much to have given you away, to put your well being above her wants!

[@judithschoberl6431]

It's so healthy that you can get her side of the story and can reflect on it. Much love for you ❤️ you got this

[@katebaker6341]

Have yu ever thought about maybe trying to find your bio mom for some closure like when your ready? Some people ik it really helped them

[@emilyH.531]

If you continue to make a ton of milk and have more than you needs (obviously store some), NICUs accept donor milk for babies that don't have a mom present or a mom that can't pump. The premies are much more likely to survive with breast milk than formula.

[@Tailynn4]

I’m so happy you have someone like Erik, but he’s also making me feel like I’m never gonna find someone that amazing. Erik, you’re making me raise my standards…which I guess needed to happen lol

[@lizalove91]

Yes! Everyone deserves an Erik ❤️you will find your soulmate!

[@shyannelewing9958]

Ikr

[@Sydneyacosta504]

I just want this to be an appreciation post for Erik! He is killing the Dad and husband game

[@abbyg45]

it blows my mind that erik had originally told colleen he didn’t want to be married or have kids, he’s an incredible father

[@Chelagm]

Whatttt i didn’t know this , that’s awesome! He’s the best husband/partner to Colleen and an incredible father , so happy he changed his mind ❤️

[@abbyg45]

@@Chelagm yep, they talked about it on the podcast! colleen basically said she knew she’d have to accept this if it meant they’d be together

[@livalittle7]

Which podcast?

[@terryvalisova]

@@livalittle7 their podcast “Relax!”

[@livalittle7]

@@terryvalisova I should have been more specific… which episode of the podcast?

[@brigitterolens]

The last 10 minutes of this vlog is so much chaos and I am laughing so hard, Erik and Colleen are a comedy duo

[@purpcrayon]

Being a NICU mom is so traumatizing. When you describe the pain and how “wrong” it feels it really hit and brought it all back. My sons NICU/PICU journey was completely unexpected as well (he was born with a congenital defect called Pierre Robin Sequence). I literally went into postpartum psychosis from the trauma (I was also doing it all on my own, as I was in an abusive relationship with the father who was in active addiction and only saw our son once in the hospital, when he was there for over 2 months). It’s no joke. That time will forever haunt me well over the 10 years of being in an extremely toxic/abusive marriage. That says a whole damn lot. But you will get through it, and you’ll be a much stronger person once you’re on the other side. You’ll likely never go through anything this difficult again. Keeping you in my prayers, Colleen. ❤️

[@purpcrayon]

@@gordythecat yes postpartum psychosis is sooo so scary! I went on a drive in my own town and “got lost” for over 2 hours. I obviously should not have been driving, but I didn’t know what was happening to me and of course no one else did either until this happened. Before this I had never even heard of Postpartum psychosis. I knew I had PPD but I didn’t know the extent of it all. It needs to be talked about more! Thank you so much btw!! 🥰 you sound like such a strong mama bear too ❤️

[@Eastpinehome]

Praying for you xo

[@SharksRevenge]

I am really sorry you had to go through all of that on your own. Thank you for being brave enough to share your story. I hope you're doing well and have a great weekend.

[@meganbeattie1010]

Ty so much for sharing your story - so sorry you had to go through that terrible experience!!

[@kirstiespeland5347]

🥰 I suddenly realised I had tears in my eyes watching Erik and Colleen’s beautiful, loving, easy, fun and just so love filled, relationship at the end. It was joyful tears that there was so much love and it felt like it was flowing off the screen. Sorry I know that’s super dorky.

[@ohghostlyyy]

"I'm SO in love with you." 🥺 Omg Colleen, if your relationship is anything like what it seems, you are both so incredibly lucky to have found each other. I'm sure you also put in the work, but I'm really happy for the both of you & your growing family.

[@lizkae4542]

the nurse joy/pokemon edits from the NICU have me ROLLING keep rocking through this colleen!!!

[@rachxel08]

I can’t imagine having babies and not being able to spend every second of their first few minutes/days/weeks with them, sending all the love ❤️

[@caroljordan3728]

When she going to reveal their name .

[@Savvy-the02]

My daughter got an infection/virus less than 24 hours after she was born and spent 1 week in the ICU then 2 1/2 weeks in the actual NICU. It was very difficult to not see her whenever I wanted but it made it 10000x more special when we were able to bring her home

[@brookevoltattorni3108]

same id be heartbroken

[@haleyjoyce786]

I truly don’t understand how you keep giving out vlogs as busy as you are!! You’re so amazing Colleen I absolutely love you all so much ❤️

[@lucythompson295]

(I think it's because she's trying to keep busy which is the best thing to keep your mind off of things.)

[@cierabisch3857]

@@lucythompson295 I was just going to say this. I totally agree. Yes Colleen is absolutely amazing and I adore her but I also understand working to keep yourself busy

[@lucythompson295]

@@cierabisch3857 I was a preemie, C-section baby who had to be left in the hospital since I died for a bit when I was born and it was exactly what my mam did when she couldn't take me home, said it was what kept her going and made the hours pass until I could come home. Colleen is amazing and is doing so great, can't wait for when she gets to have her babies come home!

[@Estherknowsall]

she did it her whole pregnancy and she really found comfort in talking to us and in some way leaned on us with her pregnancy so I think its a comfort thing.

[@goldi2957]

Girl also we are all excited and watching more and new people too which means more money for her with all the extra views

[@georgiedavis4210]

It would be lovely to know Eriks experience through this, you never really hear about how the dads feel throughout something traumatic like this, he must’ve been so scared seeing Colleen so worried during her C Section and now not having the babies home, it would be really insightful x

[@megankidd4671]

Baby steps podcast by Ned and Ariel fulmer touch on this

[@ShadowsVale]

I love that idea. Father's really deserve just as much compassion as the mother. He may not have had to carry them or be the one to go through surgery, but that doesn't mean this doesn't effect him.

[@marybethnix9401]

I had such a hard time postpartum after my csection and my husband said he felt like these videos brought back ptsd feelings for him. Sometimes the dad feels so helpless in this situation which is a hard place to be

[@chippyreads]

He might talk about it on their podcast

[@courtthelover12]

Yes! my hubby had such a hard time, he hates hospitals regardless so having to visit our son so frequently was hard for him. I was blessed enough to be able to board at the hospital while they had the extra room available. Since I lived an hour away and wanted to try and get him feeding at breast, and his stay was only 1 week. But as lonely as it was I told my hubby after I was technically discharged at 48 hours he could go home at night to sleep and at anytime I didn't want to be alone I could go home with him and give up my room (I didn't, but knew it was just as important for me to have the option as it was for him to have the option guilt free). I could sense his anxiety, he made himself almost sick if he visited to long. Daddy's don't get enough thought during that focus is mama and baby(ies) dads struggle too! 💙

[@milanpacheco7818]

erik seems like the most amazing husband ever. i loved him painting your toes. it was so sweet.

[@jewelsgrl]

Hey Colleen. I’m a NICU mama, twice. I have 4 beautiful kiddos, and my #2 and my # 4 both had NICU stays for different issues. Your heartache and pain echos precisely what I experienced. Your tears and feeling of “wrongness” are biologically hardwired into us to feel when, after growing and birthing our babies, they are then not with us. I cry with you in each of these videos because your experience brings back so many feelings and memories. Earning your NICU badge puts you in a special club, and you’ll look back on your time there with a great deal of bittersweet feelings. Beautiful and terrible, so very grateful for the help and for the life of your babies but also the pain and deep sorrow about not having them with you. I found pumping and freezing milk to be helpful emotionally because I was at least giving and helping in that way! I’m sending you prayer, love, and hoping for your comfort and peace. Our stays were 2 weeks and then 10 days. Bless you and take it one day at a time. ❤️

[@victorian8314]

flynn and the babies have the best mom they could ever have. they’re so lucky to have you 💓

[@blessingabosuoh8103]

Is anyone else excited to see Flynn’s reaction to his 2 BRAND NEW SIBLINGS?!?!? Like how cute will that be💜💜

[@patriciagallant8133]

I hope they don't wait that long to tell us their names. Don't know why they are waiting.

[@ameiseelefant3470]

@@patriciagallant8133 they have all the right to adjust to the names and Situation, there is no need to rush in telling us anything

[@Cheerleaderfan6]

@@patriciagallant8133 they just went through a traumatic experience… i really doubt announcing the names are anywhere in their priorities

[@crnrm15534]

@@patriciagallant8133 maybe announcing names and telling their family the names will be a main channel video

[@Pet_Obsessed5253]

@@patriciagallant8133 omg I completely forgot but they teased us by showing that they signed the birth certificate in a previous video but they're probably putting a name reveal video together telling family and friend

[@izzy6599]

"mummy is the milk queen' respect Eric. Respect.

[@jennah119]

“Oh sorry, I’m gonna get coffee ice cream” Flynn is a mood

[@zozovlogs5789]

Ma'am how are you still vlogging? After everything you're going through, I salute you for even *thinking* about vlogging. You're so strong queen!!

[@zozovlogs5789]

💙💙💙 Also a Christmas emoji just to get you excited 🎄

[@roxystarlite4106]

I think these vlogs are like in the moment therapy for her. I'm glad she has something to help her process this trauma.

[@zozovlogs5789]

@@roxystarlite4106 Totally!! She should do whatever makes her feel better through her tough time right now. She's so strong!

[@cathleengrace7691]

Oh my gracious who else is DYING to know the babies names to go with their beautiful faces?!?! Can’t wait until Colleen & Erik are ready to share. Love these vlogs, you’re a Supermama! ❤️❤️❤️

[@fluteloops22]

hopefully the next vlog but I also wish she knew we don’t expect her to be editing videos and posting every day either!

[@janellehaines9705]

Yes! I just know they chose the cutest names!!!

[@cathleengrace7691]

@@janellehaines9705 Right?!?! I’m soooo excited!!!

[@cathleengrace7691]

@@fluteloops22 I hope she knows too! But I think she has said before that she enjoys it and helps her feel happy 🥰

[@hanr7488]

I’m SO EXCITED to know them!!! Although I do hope they keep calling Baby Girl Ladybug because I think it’s so cute

[@maryprom15es]

That editing with the Pokemon characters was PERFECT. Deserves an Emmy.

[@marielivs]

Colleen im a lactation consultant and im amazed with how you’ve managed to pump that amount of milk!!! You are a warrior moma! Be patient, in time everything will fall into place. You are doing your best and your babies know. Sending lots of love your way! I hope you find joy in the little things along the way

[@valarya]

When my husband was in the hospital, I cried this much... and in order to heal after that trauma, I decided to donate money to the ward he was in every year on the anniversary. It reminds me that there are some situations in life that we have ZERO control over, and beating ourselves up and wallowing in the negative aspects of them do nothing for us -- and that we DO heal eventually. Those babies will only know love and kindness from you, they'll never remember this. You need your strength for them coming up, so let yourself be angry/upset for a few minutes and then try to stop beating yourself up. You got this ♥

[@Julia-xb7op]

Ahh I can’t wait to find out about the baby’s names whenever Colleen and Erik are ready to share!! I don’t want to rush them obviously, I’m just really excited to put names to their faces, I’m sure they’re gonna be so cute :)

[@ashley55baby1]

Ahhhh! Your husband is so happy and in love with his family!! that’s the sweetest thing ever!! 🥰🥰 you guys melt my heart every time lol

[@abzie7414]

You can totally see that Flynn knows something is up and trying to cheer everyone up 🥺 little kids minds are incredible

[@audrey7562]

“mommy is milk queen” “i want to taste it too” ERIK LMAOO

[@emilychen4785]

i’m literally deceased 💀

[@orianaaylenpourcel4807]

WAIT- in what minuteeee ☠☠☠

[@emilychen4785]

@@orianaaylenpourcel4807 9:00

[@mcswiftino]

Love that the babies are so alert with their eyes open ❤️

[@sarahm5918]

Colleen please cry!! You NEED to get it all out. I told my husband the same thing, that he needed to just let me cry. Your feelings are valid. Even though the babies ARE safe and you know it, that fact doesn’t take away the feeling of missing your babies. It’s just natural to want to be around them ❤️ I’m praying for comfort for you and Erik.

[@natalieriddiford7713]

these vlogs give me such immense joy, I know you are going through a lot, but we are all here for you and are rooting for you and your sweet babies.

[@starjmac]

Yes 👏🏻

[@marifazekas5650]

Kory fed us with those Pokémon edits they were literally iconic I was cackling 😂

[@nurnashrah341]

please do not discount your feelings, heartbreak, pain just because "it could've been worst". everything that you are feeling is valid. hang on tight, you are going to get through this! :)

[@rubyflintoff4799]

I am living for the swearing and talk about nips in this video. It’s just so real and open and funny! Although Colleen is struggling she’s also glowing, being a mumma is her absolute destiny and it just makes her glow!

[@aprilmiller7601]

Pain meds tip: set alarms on your phone for when to take the next dose! Yes it’ll be annoying having an alarm wake you during the night, but this way you can stay ahead of the pain and get your next dose in before the previous has completely worn off. This was an absolute game changer for me during recovery from orthopedic shenanigans. You’re a rockstar, sending you all the good vibes! 💕✨

[@missconstrues]

Great tip!

[@warriormamma8098]

Yes please do this. You will quickly (hopefully) fall back asleep and end up getting MORE sleep than waking to pain and then waiting 45 mins for pain neds to kick in. Ask if you can do Motrin in between a tylenol/narcotic dose even!

[@alisaishere]

@@warriormamma8098 My doctor's have always been good with saying yes to this. That way there's a constant stream of something to help with inflammation and pain. I even do this for basic injuries, instead of taking all my ibuprofen at once, I will stagger them so the pain never gets intense.

[@drieuxkoeppel8152]

Also be aware. We nurses have a one-hour window to pass meds in the hospital etc-meaning if med is scheduled for 4pm, we can actually give the medication at anytime between 3pm and 5pm. That’s because there’s literally no way we can give X number of patients their ordered drugs at the same time. Because of that, you CAN take the mediation 30 minutes BEFORE the prescribed time. We tell that to fresh post-operative patients. We do that for some important reasons: *If you have a rudimentary knowledge of how pain signals work, to maintain adequate pain relief you should NOT allow a pain med to fully wear off. If/when you do, it can take longer for the next dose to be effective. *This is due mostly to “first-pass” effect: the first pass is where the drug, (Percocet, etc) has to be processed through your stomach and GI tract before it can start to work on the pain signals from your brain. “First-pass is the drug going through the GI system first, and then working on the pain signals second. “First-pass” usually takes 30-40 minutes. Hence, taking the med very slightly ahead of schedule, is VERY advantageous to maintaining adequate pain control. Thus, is your Rx says “take every 4-6 hours”…(suggest doing the 4 hour window for at least the first week after surgery) SO-if you take the pill (s) at 4pm, you’d think your next dose would be 8pm at the earliest. The truth is you CAN take the med at 3 1/2 hours and not 4 hours. So you could take it at 7:30pm, to compensate for ‘first-pass effect”. I TOTALLY agree that setting alarms is crucial also-because you do NOT want the med to wear off, especially right after surgery. I’ve cared for patients who were fresh out of the OR, and I’ve been a patient recovering from surgery. Each and every time I’m in a post-operative situation for me, personally, i ALWAYS tell the RNs, doctors, etc that I MUST have the medication at 3 1/2 hours and not 4 hours. A few times I’ve been questioned about that. I always say: “ Because i know all about “first-pass effect”-to which the medical staff will usually respond with “Say no more”…hope this all helps!!!

[@perfectlyimperfect2368]

@@drieuxkoeppel8152 I loved reading this as a chronic health and pain sufferer and how informative it is. Thank you!

[@anna-bs8zv]

I can’t even imagine not having your babies with you after birth. I am so incredibly sorry that this had to happen. I know this hurts a lot right now, both physically and mentally, and I just want to give you a hug! Sending you so so so much love and prayers ❤️

[@madisonmarie2345]

I love how Erick is so clingy and like worried about Colleen it’s so cute!!!

[@melanieregalado9886]

Can’t wait to know the twin’s names! So proud of you Colleen, you and Erik continue to be such amazing human beings and parents. Flynn is too cute, he’s going to be the best big brother!

[@kaythlin1006]

You probably won’t ever see this but I just wanted to say thank you for making your videos, they bring me so much comfort you Flynn Erik and the babies give me such a nice sense of family. I’m 15 and I never really had a good family home life, my family doesn’t have time to do things together so seeing you guys brings me so much happiness! Thank you for your amazing videos and being so vulnerable with us

[@maddyjoy1771]

Colleen your pain is so damn valid. I haven’t been through a birthing experience, let alone a NICU experience! But to add the extra stress and uncertainty of a premature birth/emergency surgery to the general stresses of pregnancy/birth must be so heavy, so traumatic and so (for lack of a better word) unnatural. As much as the NICU is an incredible, modern miracle, and an extension of your womb, it still goes against all your instincts and hormones and must feel so wrong and foreign. You are allowed to be upset, scared, crying, but just know this isn’t forever, and will feel like a distant memory when your three beautiful babies are at home together! Love you x

[@rainelys4514]

I just love how Flynn was just singing and dancing and out of no where “I have to poop”

[@justjamie22]

#littlecolleen

[@mariavillanueva815]

At what time ?

[@lifewithmesarahmarie]

Erik pinky promising with Colleen’s toes. What a freaking Gem. All the single ladies, wait for an Erik. #worthit 🤣😂🤣

[@DiscoBlahBlah]

I loved this vlog. Because it showed such funny little moments with Flynn and Erik, some sweet Erik time, some important NICU and post-partum real talk, and some truly wonderful moments where you talked directly to us. I've been a subscriber since EARLY Miranda time, and I am so grateful you are sharing some bits of your life with us and letting us grow together. ♡

[@TrainRideToLove]

Awww I love this comment, it’s so true!!❤️

[@TheDaisyForce]

Colleen, you and your babies are SO BRAVE!! I can’t even imagine your pain right now, and I’m sending you the most love in the world. My mom has been a NICU nurse for over 20 years now, and she has always talked about how brave and strong and inspiring NICU parents are. I’m not sure what the NICU community at your hospital looks like, but my mom’s hospital has so many resources for connecting with other NICU families! They even have an annual NICU reunion, where all previous NICU babies from that hospital are welcome (some are even full grown adults now!!) this part of the journey is so difficult, but you are so strong and they will be home with you before you know it. 💛💛💛

[@andreapalomera]

ERIK ATTACKING COLLEEN WAS SO FUNNY 😆 “I don’t know if that’s their mouth’s fault”

[@burts50]

Eric is so underrated funny time thinks !!!

[@CassandraCampbell22]

I died when he said that lmao 🤣

[@erinbroadhurst1921]

From smearing myself with red lipstick at 13 to watching Colleen with her babies whilst i'm at University, we've all grown up watching this amazing strong woman, and she's grown with us

[@siya6016]

Flynn and the twins are so cute!! Also can we take a second to appreciate how Colleen just had twins and she still uploads vlogs for us!!🥰

[@brookecarson3982]

I feel like the twins look alike and look like Flynn too? 🥺 Does anyone else?

[@lauren-issimo2428]

@@brookecarson3982 they are so precious aren't they 😭😍 so beautiful

[@siya6016]

@@lauren-issimo2428 they are!🥰

[@liliphdr]

@@brookecarson3982 Yes, finally someone who thinks that. (I commented this on the birth vlog, but got no response so I thought I am the only one thinking that.) The twins look identical even though they are fraternal, and also look like Flynn to me.

[@graciebell1276]

Vlogs*

[@abbymoynahan6750]

Thank you for being so honest about your feelings I too had twins early and we spent 3 weeks in nicu and it was very traumatizing. I really feel you. Leaving them killed me. Took me so long to really process. You’re doing amazing, let yourself feel all the feels and soon they will be with you. Sending so much love and support.

[@brittneyt2418]

As someone who is currently in the hospital for the next two weeks about to become a NICU Momma these vlogs have helped me so much to see the realty of everything. It has helped me to know what’s coming/helped me feel way less alone so thank you Colleen for sharing your experience. 🤍

[@erinmagill3833]

Sending good thoughts for you and your baby!

[@fzzypurpleturtle]

Bless you momma

[@caitlynrae05]

Many prayers and thoughts are being sent your way. I hope the best for you and your baby.

[@brittneyt2418]

Thank you guys so much!! 🤍

[@willimina362]

Erik is the sweetest for painting your nails and loving your nip towns no matter how they change! And you are amazing! Thank you for being so open with your fans. ❤️