Voting by Mail: Last Week Tonight with John Oliver (HBO)

[@brendaanneckelsamgc5583]

Voting by mail is critical to military, homebound, elderly, and disabled. It has been used for decades and it works. Thank you for highlighting the truth about voting by mail!

[@nicholasthompson7690]

I used it during college. Using it in this Election as well.

[@B_Bodziak]

I think you are mixing up "Absentee" voting with "Voting by Mail". To vote Absentee in many states, one must swear to a listed valid reason as to why you cannot make it to the polls: student, disabled, etc. Simply not wanting to stand in line for hours is not a valid reason. Edit: I am not personally saying not wanting to wait in line isn't a valid reason! That is simply what my state and many others have as laws on their books. It needs to change! I believe voting by mail AND online should be commonplace!

[@mourgraine221100]

@@B_Bodziak Why is that not a valid reason? Unless proof of fraud can be shown, why is that not a valid reason? Who decides what is a valid reason and what isn't?

[@B_Bodziak]

@@mourgraine221100 Oh, I agree that not wanting to wait in line IS a valid reason, but many states do not allow that!

[@edoardofrezet6671]

Lll

[@christiantrosdorff1061]

Ok here's the thing: I was born and raised in Germany. Voting there means you get mail from the government early enough. No matter if it is a national, statewide or local election, you get either to choose to vote on location at the day in a school or wherever or you can choose to vote by mail. In some states they'll send you the forms with the mail including a free envelope included that has a printed on prepay stamp. In others you can just ring up or write you want a form for mail voting. And then you can vote the way you like. And surprise: It works and we never really had substantial problems with voter fraud. And now that they mentioned it in the show: A politician who urges citizens NOT to go to an election is a complete shame for a democracy and should immediately be thrown out. This is crazy illegal shit.

[@thomasmc9611]

The US is not a democracy and I would argue a politician pointing out the flaws in a system used to determine the direction the country should take even though it would likely damage his numbers is a noble one.

[@SuperLeica1]

Germany is one of the many civilized countries.

[@autogolazzojr7950]

@@thomasmc9611 He was talking about the Missouri governor's statements at 4:05, I believe. What he said was downright freighting. By the way, the US is a representative democracy.

[@sbnwnc]

Right. You live in _Germany_ a normal, functional country. The United States is not that. Not even close. HELP US!!

[@jacobh-d9i]

I am a German guy... our biggest problem with the election system is the debate about a gender equality in the parliament. When I saw this i thought that this is a report about rwanda or uganda....

[@misosoup5ever]

"Chernobyl casual" is the best way to describe Corona-fashion rn

[@The_main_andrew]

Agreed

[@jackkraken3888]

You're crazy, take this one to the infirmary.

[@jayyyzeee6409]

3.6 Roentgen, not great, not casual.

[@ryynerwicked2762]

Umm no not even close to accurate

[@Kamamura2]

WTF is "corona fashion"?

[@monmon1741]

It’s 2 weeks after the 2020 presidential election. This aged like fine wine Mr.Oliver.

[@bazzfromthebackground3696]

@lit lit that's fine, he's a Sewage Treatment Plant now.

[@emvandermeulen1908]

It’s 7 weeks after the election. He certainly got the taking a dump on stage part right.

[@aethelwolfe3539]

Aethel Wolfe “The press controlled state” by Charlamagne. m.kzbin.info/www/bejne/gV7Kaayhqaqgo8U

[@clarkwatson3217]

Fine wine ? Trump was right democrats stole the election by not giving an inch on verification of signatures on mail ballots

[@monmon1741]

@@clarkwatson3217 lmao you still on this fraud mess 🤪

[@Alcatraz152]

Voting in Switzerland: - every Swiss resident is registered at the municipalty they live in (mainly for tax purposes) - when there is a vote, every Swiss citizen (18y+) receives an envelope from the municipalty containing a voter card, ballots and a return envelope - ballots are filled out by hand with yes/no (or names in case of elections) - the voter card is signed - the voter card and ballots are put into the return envelope and sent back to the municipalty by mail

[@Raguel88]

Same in Germany

[@domninin]

@@Raguel88 In Germany we don't sign voter cards, because it could lead to the government tracking who voted what. Rest is true though

[@aryangupta2577]

Well I am sorry not all live in rich countries like Switzerland,some of the youth have to make their own country rich AGAIN

[@bruh5361]

@@Raguel88 I even got my envelope to participate in German municipality elections while residing in the Netherlands!

[@andredeketeleastutecomplex]

Best way to trace desent is to let people put their name on it imo, election ballots themselves need to be anonymus.

[@mustymoose]

I live in Washington state where we have had only voting my mail for years. I really like it, no standing in line and you can sit down with all your info and take time to carefully decide all your choices.

[@puckstopper25]

Which is likely one of many reasons they don't want you able to do it.

[@aj383]

Oregonian myself, but I totally agree.

[@hunnerdayEDT]

Yeah, I can research every candidate and resolution before I vote. I love that about WA.

[@rhondablevins4466]

Akmal Ibrahim So obviously a troll that you don’t even know how ridiculous this comment was.

[@drpepperman2765]

@@akmal94ibrahim Okay, cool, but what's your point here?

[@Roboterize]

Voting in Germany: You always have the option how to Vote. On the voting-day or by mail or weeks before the voting in registered places.

[@Kakyo01]

And in germany the voting-day is on the weekend and not in the middle of the week during working hours. (Who would've thought that the voter turnout is higher if ppl don't need to go to work at the same time/day. >_>)

[@xxJOKeR75xx]

@@Kakyo01 ya, for some weird reason Germany wants their people to vote...like, it's a democracy

[@Aswedishzeldagirl]

Similar here in Sweden

[@maeschder]

And no one ever trots out these boogeymen of "voter fraud" to scare people over 55 with less ability to discern bullshit (thats science btw)

[@TheUnillustratedChaos]

Du bist auch überall. Wait... Da ich das weiß, bin ich folglich auch überall🤔🤯 (we've definitely got too much thyme on our hands- get the reference🤨😁?)

[@michael_mcgowan]

As an aspiring artist, I actually have many fully functioning pencils and I know exactly where my pencil sharpener is, so I thought to myself, "I'm not living in a fantasy land." But, then I remembered I'm an aspiring artist... Well played, Mr. Oliver. Well played.

[@hypernovaneedsachillpill7088]

🤣🤣🤣

[@amelancholylady9109]

exactly the joke I was about to make as a graphic designer 😂

[@noahgray543]

"An aspiring artist is just an author before they get their obligatory drinking problem." - Stephen King Ok, Stephen King didn't actually say that, it was just my first thought when I read, "I'm an aspiring artist." But it sounds better if he said it.

[@MisatoBestWoman]

Same …

[@imac.13]

I know for a fact that I have pencil sharpeners, I'm still in school and an artist, but I could only find my one broken sharpener when he said that.

[@oORodeaOo]

Quarantine agressive John is the best thing that came out of this Pandemic

[@JITCompilation]

"You human boat-shoe" is a FANTASTIC insult.

[@norge0209]

He brings me so much joy!

[@Nipplator99999999999]

I agree, and would like to add in Simon Whistler from Business Blaze here on YT, watching these two slowly "adjusting" to quarantine has saved me from becoming completely feral, so far.

[@groovinhooves]

John is 'revenge' for the American Revolution-the best.

[@jackmorgan5794]

Jay RichRogers because he has an army of writers, and he says what’s written in a script they give him, you crayon chewing idiot.

[@The_main_andrew]

There are sooo many amazing quotes from the episode. “Chernobyl casual” “You Human boat shoe” “First you have to know a dead person, which is hard they are anti-social” And I am only halfway through. Thank you John!

[@rainydaygirl57]

Yes!!! Thought exactly the same thing. So rewarding.

[@jfu5222]

"At a certain point, hunger outweighs fear" the official slogan of Taco Bell

[@dhabbott41]

Best comment by far.

[@johnnyappleseed4279]

I love how they can acknowledge that a higher voter participation can go in the democrats favor. Imagine thinking that having a higher voter participation is a bad thing. Quite the democracy we have going

[@anix712]

@@Monochromatic_Spider Because the people who vote for them don't believe, or simply don't care that they're actually the minority (politically). They only care if they win.

[@Avatarbee]

Watch the rules for rulers video. It talks about majority suppression in democracys (amongst other things) Kinda insane that they flatout admit it.

[@whitetigr8337]

Yeah, they used to try to keep this shit more under wraps, but I guess these days they're more willing to say out-loud what they're thinking. Guess they figure if they have the government enough by the balls, then they can be as brazen and outrageous as they want and nobody can stop them. At this point, they feel they have a good deal of power, so they feel entitled to admit that the reason they don't want mail-in voting is because (they think that) it would work against them. I appreciate you bringing this up, because it really says everything about the Republican party you need to know: They don't care about the will of the majority. And that they are anti-democracy. And if they don't care about the will of the people as a whole, then the only other reasonable conclusion is that they care about themselves: Power, money, or whatever else they get for being in office, or for supporting those in office...that's what they care about. They care about GETTING something from their country, not about giving. Contrast that with what John F. Kennedy once said, "Ask not what your country can do for you. Ask what you can do for your country." They've lied to us. They've stolen livelihoods from us. And they've told us it's our own fault. So this November, let's show them what we're made of. Let's give them the ass-kicking they deserve. 💪👊🤙

[@Shawk95]

Republicans seem to be highly scared of democracy. LOL

[@edwardzignot2681]

Republicans are the enemies of Democracy, what other conclusion can be drawn. They only care about keeping power.

[@annalattus8484]

As an Oregonian I appreciated the shoutout. Our voting system doesn't get talked about near enough. It really is awesome.

[@calebcorrea7556]

As an Oregonian I agree

[@fayzaanvirk2731]

Same here in Wisconsin.

[@mmarzett]

Same for me as a guy registered in Oregon and living in Germany.

[@sport_and_tech]

"Dress Code: Chernobyl casual" almost choked me

[@evertvandenberghe]

Hear hear!

[@secretagent5954]

"chocked" 😭😂

[@rogermcgrath7946]

AMAZING. I LOL'd but in a genuine sense. Actually had to stop it, and replay it... chuckled like a horse.

[@TavisAllen]

Good try with English! I believe you meant to say "almost choked me!" A chock (noun) is a wedge placed (chocked - verb) under a wheel to stop it from rolling.

[@sport_and_tech]

@@TavisAllen Sorry mate, hard to keep up with all the 7 languages I speak :)

[@johnd.1928]

U.S. military personnel overseas and other overseas USG federal personnel have been voting by mail for YEARS, and none of these people had a problem with it then.

[@AxxLAfriku]

ORORORORO!!! I spend half of my day sleeping! ORORORO!!! Then I sometimes get up and tell you that I am a famous content creatorORORORORO!!! Please don't sleep while driving, dear jon

[@hunterblane610]

AxxL That might be the random and irrelevant comment I’ve ever seen.

[@kappadarwin9476]

Because Democrats out number Republicans, so Republicans have to resort to voter suppression to stay relevant because after Trump Republicans are going to have a hard time appealing to his base when the day comes and Trump is no longer there for them.

[@TheKrinkled1]

The military has been voting by mail since 1864. republicans love riding the backs of the military all the while whipping the service men and women into subservience.

[@squanch4458]

It’s funny to me how Carlson is either blatantly lying or has no idea what he’s talking about

[@Jan-wp6ym]

There is sooooo much wrong with my homecountry of Germany, yet I feel like living in paradise every time I watch news from the US

[@SpyroTheGerudo]

You still have grass. It's not the greenest on your side, but you still have grass. The US has no grass

[@berulan8463]

@@SpyroTheGerudo But luckily a growing lot of weed.

[@ossertthewozzard]

Exactly how I feel. I spend a lot of my time participating in political groups in my hometown because there is just so much I want to change in Germany, but seeing the US is on a whole new level

[@chaitanyarao5546]

Thank you so much for the suggestion! It turned out to an excellent read!

[@Pooksty]

I definitely wouldn’t come right now lol

[@DJ1LF]

incredible how he completely called the issues with PA

[@peteswafflemeyer5620]

Except non of it turned out to be a problem.

[@noafproductions6144]

"Stop playing politics with our lives." That gave me chills.

[@Caliekat15]

It's true and it is sickening

[@player_michaelous]

Same. It's so true

[@Fifthelement203]

noafproductions the US’ answer: NO. Never

[@redreaper2752]

“Stop playing politics with our lives” well said ma’am.

[@keithwoodcrest]

My God. Look at how calmly Tucker Carlson says we haven't had mail in voting for 200 years. Think about how many people saw that.

[@sarahstearns2968]

I can't believe I am able to still be so shocked and horrified by their manipulations but here we are

[@keithwoodcrest]

@@sarahstearns2968 Yeah. I find myself saying, "I'm not shocked - but I'm shocked" at least 4 or 5 times a day

[@xxCrimsonSpiritxx]

Think about how many times people saw him spew his other radically ignorant opinions Bowtie carlson is a failure, only accepted by other failed "news journalists" like fox news, which ironically are banned in countries like the UK

[@molsongrrrl]

Tucker has the most punchable face. No mail in voting for 230 years?!? I guess he has no idea about military members? Didn't he hear his orange god votes by mail?!? I vote by mail in Florida. It's awesome.

[@keithwoodcrest]

@@molsongrrrl I bet its only going to be a matter of hours before we find out he's voted by mail his entire life lol

[@fthomason93]

Is it just me or is John getting better without a crowd? His power is growing.

[@Vinciini83]

Calling Tucker Carlson a 'Human Boat-Shoe' is probably one of the greatest, deepest, and most intricately-layered insults I have ever heard. It effectively sums up the man's class, his entitled arrogance, his shallow existence, his actual relatability to his fellow Americans, and the microscopic value of all those parts in summation to reality. Bravo!

[@junkejinx6226]

He called him a wanker without actually saying it 😂 w-anchor

[@braxinIV]

sandy pandy Jesus Christ. This joke just keeps getting deeper. Like an anchor would......

[@adamross2256]

And your breakdown-analysis of the insult is insightful and informative. Not all heroes wear capes! :)

[@RononDex35789]

Hey, boat shoes are cool do not defame them with a comparison to a reptile

[@BigBossBernie]

@sharkbaitj and lagerly useless for the majority of society

[@kyledavis2758]

“First you have to know a dead person. That’s hard to do, they’re antisocial” COMEDY GOLD 😂

[@CC-xf4pz]

Kyle Davis no you don’t. The dead person could have lived at your residence at one point. Or in a nursing home... which if you look at the Covid death numbers in dem states, tends to be 40 some odd percent of the deaths because the Dems had a bill to keep and put Covid patients in nursing homes... think about that for a minute.

[@toothpastehombre]

Oregonian here - we've had vote by mail for nearly 15 years. 15. Years. With next to zero problems. It is convenient. It is comprehensive. It is accessible. It is representative of the people. It is democratic. It is secure.

[@Arutha258]

@first last *Democratic republic

[@Arutha258]

@first last And furthermore. Our Constitution says every citizen has the right to vote. So if you truly agree with our Constitution, then you disagree with not letting citizens vote. This includes felons.

[@zmdumpbox2340]

All things ruling conservatives abhor, apparently.

[@AnEnemySpy456]

We have it in Washington too. Anyone telling you vote by mail is dangerous just doesn't want you to vote.

[@WindFireAllThatKindOfThing]

​@first last We also get a couple weeks to look over and research everything and everyone on the ballot before sending it in. We also get to look online how our vote was counted to make sure they didn't miscount it. That's a big deal. Everyone who tries to take democracy out of this country should hang. By the neck. Until dead. Traitors should die. I'll personally buy the rope.

[@globalwarmhugs7741]

I worked a polling station in my town, where people distanced on their own, wore masks, used sanitizer, acted with adult behaviour, modelled said behaviour for their children, brought their own pens, and were polite, respectful, and responsible. My town is in Canada, so...

[@globalwarmhugs7741]

Also... absentee and mail in ballots were ALL counted. No signatures were required.

[@oncoucharrest5910]

What town had a recent vote in Canada?

[@globalwarmhugs7741]

@@oncoucharrest5910 the province of British Columbia

[@franz6047]

2016: John declares that he is desperately looking forward to 2020 2020: John fondly remembers the good old days of 2016

[@AWindy94]

This is a whole Mood

[@primarchkhas726]

@@AWindy94 if youre a soft little baby. Sounding like boomers already

[@CT-um7zq]

Remember his last episode of 2016 with the musical and fireworks that burned the numbers to a crispy pile of ash? Imagine how epic this year's last episode will be. I'll breath a sigh of relief

[@CT-um7zq]

kzbin.info/www/bejne/hoKZiIOlYtSKa7M

[@nathanlevesque7812]

@@primarchkhas726 it doesn't take much to set you off huh

[@Daenym]

I didn't even know there was a third Hemsworth. This is big news.

[@dr.braxygilkeycruises1460]

There is also a fourth Hemsworth brother! Larry. He's a pediatric surgeon with severe self esteem issues. 😂😂😂 (watch The Good Place season 3)

[@rodaxel7165]

He's on HBO's Westworld. Luke. He's aight. 😂

[@chrissterley3992]

They actually used a Hemsworth brother to play Thor in the play that Loki put on in Thor Ragnarok

[@sluttymctits4496]

This is exactly what I was going to comment. Glad I saw this first -- no one likes a duplicate.

[@cathl4953]

Third Hemsworth is no Hemsworth The one he is referring to is the fourth one

[@brandongratta9040]

The guy saying "no one under 65 can say they're afraid" is the same genius that said "we might need to let old people just die to let the economy open. I'm ready to die"

[@k.c1126]

I am almost persuaded to reply to him, "Well, get on with the dying, then!"

[@Gaius__]

Well, he should set a good example then.

[@palopatrol6010]

Trump: guys, dont vote by mail Supporters: ok *mail in votes are counted last* Trump: wOaH wHy aM i LoSiNg ???

[@Sammy-fq1lj]

hE diDn’T lOsE!¡! /s

[@dogcam8492]

The worst part is John predicted it

[@phanatic215]

Maybe he thought it was like when you invite someone to a party, and you tell them not to bring anything, but it really means "at least bring a six pack you cheap fuck".

[@Viking_Luchador]

@T H FALSE! he bankrupted THREE casinos

[@erlonger]

And he also voted by mail!

[@vandalhandle]

“No one has a pencil sharpener.” The artists are angry, the graphic designers are googling 'what is a pencil?'

[@LynxHazard]

Why it's that beefed up, feature heavy, stick I use on my Wacom tablet or iPhone, right?

[@fatezaragosa2540]

Fool I own mechanical pencils cause I like sketching before putting it on the computer

[@BOOcketMan]

Lmao when Oliver talked about pencils I was like “suckerrrr I got mechanical drafting pencils with high quality erasers and eraser refills” 😂😂

[@alienbacon656]

I have two pencil sharpeners! One normal obe and obe with the two holes for different pencil thickness.

[@adamboyd1132]

The drafters have a cup full of mechanical pencils on the desk. "What's a pencil sharpener?"

[@ffeff8353]

"Your dress code is Chernobyl casual" -- you kill me, John Oliver!

[@dinobrya2]

LOL!!!!!!

[@cosmicraysshotsintothelight]

You want him to do what to you? :-)

[@n3rdstrength]

John feels different this episode, I think he's hit his quarantine stride.

[@jennifergreggerson6225]

Which means something else is about to happen to scramble things up. 2020's motto is : "Don't get too comfortable"

[@seancourtney5548]

Yea this is honestly the best episode since quarantine began.

[@aunulimansfield3277]

How long in quarantine will it take for us to get a liberal Alex Jones? Oh don't tell me, I don't want that now that I think about it

[@waynekenney9311]

He didn't have audience laughter and it screwed him up for a while, but now he can make the jokes without the laughter and it flows better.

[@ratshit-king]

*Jon

[@Pundae]

We kinda have to vote by mail in the military if we want our vote to count... and we're government employees

[@Pluveus]

"If you think you're in any way prepared to bring a working pencil to a polling station, you live in a fantasy world." As a D&D player, I'm not sure if that was a shout-out or a call-out.

[@missybarbour6885]

So specific, and yet

[@elijahkulpinski4983]

*sweats in online campaign*

[@mohammedsarker5756]

man, i started playing DnD cus of corona, and now it feels like its everywhere lmao

[@rickc2102]

I write, and use a mechanical pencil a lot, have plenty of HB leads and numerous extra erasers. 🤷‍♂️

[@sachinaraszkiewicz785]

@@elijahkulpinski4983 Yeah, I switched to roll20 for the lockdown and I really have no idea where my pencils are :/

[@korose8]

Please keep in mind the postal service will be delivering all of those ballots to homes. We will be overwhelmed if people wait too long to ask for them. Please request absentee ballots early so we dont fall behind like the postal service already has with packages. Just a PSA from a postal worker.

[@leelindsay5618]

Thank you for being a postal worker & I hope you are also active in your postal union. Times are getting tough for USPS under this clown.

[@Gcat-ln6ok]

Nice tip. Thanks!

[@meatfistcannon3939]

thank you for what you do. and thank you for how much hard work and stress you must go through.

[@rickc2102]

We could always get Amazon to deliver them...

[@melvinjoseph7009]

This needs to be on top. Hit those likes!

[@hallowen]

Someone needs to make a compilation video of all the times and ways John Oliver has ragged on Tucker Carlson. Because I would watch that on repeat all day.

[@QT5656]

YES please! 😁

[@neojc128]

Tucker Carlson's empty stares give me headaches

[@haft2beu]

that would be hot

[@lashinka2574]

Omg me too! 😂❤👏

[@Lethia13]

"sentient polo mallet"

[@TheDnadoctor]

I love how I can look back at this show and afterwards see how absolutely PROPHETIC you were!!!

[@Sigart]

Times I laughed this episode: "Chernobyl casual" "My beef is _shredded"_ "You human boat shoe!"

[@pleasuretokill]

Taco Bell's slogan "At a certain point hunger takes over fear"

[@brianvice1144]

Weirdly shaped and disproportionately harmful to minorities got me

[@rockyallison6809]

And the dead person is antisocial.

[@ItsNatt09]

As an Oregonian, I died at "Dame Dolla for life".

[@malcolmwolfe8879]

You forgot: Dame dolla for life

[@onkelpappkov2666]

I'm German. I love this show. But while we have a boatload of problems here, many episodes make me wonder what's going on across that pond. Voting by mail is such a standard thing here. They actually send you a return envelope along with your voting information and verification. You can decide whether you want to take that to the polling station and hand it over in exchange for your ballot or send it in to receive your ballot by mail. I used to always go vote in person and tried mail voting when I had to work. It takes time but it is incredibly convenient. All the information and deadlines are on there, there is little chance of error. Apply for mail vote (automatically invalidating your direct vote) by sending your verification back (or do it online or by phone, I think that works as well), get the ballot, make a cross, sign it, use the return envelopes that even come in two colours with lots of "how to" information. Put it in the mail. Secure, easy, convenient and relatively fast. It's like an episode about why the USA should have water pipes from non-poisonous materials or like, human rights or whatever. It feels so bizarre. We're not unconcerned over here either but it feels like we share half of your problems and are only half concerned about them. Same with going to the doctor for free or not going to jail without trial or all those other things. Then again, we don't have Adam Driver. Crush me like my crippling debt, you abominable leviathan! Break me like my faith in humanity, you fearsome hunk!

[@DuizhangLu]

It's a dumpster fire masquerading as a country.

[@danielsanchezbravo6527]

as the rest of the world, i don't understand u.s. citizens

[@MollyAhern]

Daniel Sanchez Bravo as a US citizen, I wish I could let you know but I'm just as lost

[@praveshsharma2820]

Daniel Sanchez Bravo It’s been a rough year for us and it’s getting worse.

[@OWLGSTV]

The US a Neapolitan ice cream of social economic problems just sprinkled with disproportionate death of blacks at at hands of law enforcement with a racism as 🍒 on top

[@KitC916]

'Taco Bell: When Hunger Outweighs Fear." That burn was so good it cooked their food.

[@samualwatkins]

Dam, that’s steel melting temperatures.

[@kellym9190]

@samualwatkins Oh, you mean that shit their ground “beef” was filled with, prompting a recall of 2.3 mil lbs of it? 🤣

[@mollymcdonald4326]

Hilarious.

[@gi0nbecell]

Voting by mail has been common and legal for many years for every citizen in Germany. You know, a country with a real, functional democracy. And if bloody works!

[@elaineb7065]

Germany does that. Things there either work, or get booted up the rump until they do. If for no other reason than every German learning all about the last two times things didn't work there.

[@edgardelugo1733]

This year has been the longest millennium of my life.

[@virgovertigo322]

Mood

[@tradingfriends]

Watching this after everything else that happened today alone, I thought this twitter mail voting thing was months ago

[@BriRog68]

AMEN!! 👍

[@emudeko]

Let's Bern the whole place down!

[@DeathBySnuuuSnuuu]

Ok zoomer

[@aceeverwoode1541]

"Human Boatshoe." I LOVE John Oliver's insults.

[@chrislehr5812]

Ace Everwoode Boat shoes are almost always an indicator of the person wearing them being a douche.

[@TheFiddleFaddle]

@@chrislehr5812 That's unfair to douches. Douches actually serve a purpose. Boat shoes do not.

[@quinnmarchese6313]

@@TheFiddleFaddle fun fact: in high school, i loved boatshoes. im back with converse now though

[@Cyberneticnixie]

@@TheFiddleFaddle Boat Shoes serve a purpose if you have a nice boat, but that doesn't necessarily help with the whole "being an in-touch, culturally-relatable human being" situation

[@HiddenBrilliance]

My favorite insult: Tucker Carlson... if the word "thud" had a face.

[@lodrahil-.-9910]

This discussion about voting via mail is just one of these things where I can't understand the USA.. I'm from Germany and voting by mail is completely normal and very easy; you can just apply for it on the City-Website, get it delivered in time fill it out and send it back. In fact we had the mayor elections in march where the final ballot got held by mail ONLY due to the Coronavirus - everyone got his documents send to home without having to do anything. And nobody complained about fraud or anything. It's just completely normal and accepted here to vote by mail..

[@anix712]

It's honestly only an issue here now because the current president is extremely divisive, and the Republican party is afraid that increased voter participation will cause them to lose. They're already building up the BS machine in an effort to disenfranchise voters/as a way of preemptively trying to discrediting the results should they lose. Ironically the Republicans USED to be big proponents of mail in voting, because older people tend to be more conservative, and mail in voting helped make it easier for the elderly to vote.

[@adanflyber6341]

Well there are European countries where voting by mail is impossible and which find that the possibility to do so is weird and dangerous. In France, voting by mail has been discarded since 1975, because of the potential for voting fraud. These days there are people advocating for its return for our municipal elections' second round, but I don't think it's doable and I don't think it's whishable. Not even sure it's constitutionnal. People should vote on the same day, with the same information in hands (or at least the same opportunity to get such information).

[@j.liddle7580]

That works here because you have to register your household with the local government, along with citizenship information, I believe. The fear in the States is that ballots would be sent to everyone regardless of immigration status.

[@malteschaper3782]

@@adanflyber6341 Way to go Adan. Weird, dangerous, potential fraud, not doable, not wishable, not sure if constitutional. Spreading vague words around instead of actual arguments. The only point that comes near an argument is that every voter has to have the same level of information at hand. To that I reply: It's never guaranteed that every voter has exactly the same information at hand at any election. And this shouldn't be an issue anyway. In a free democracy you are supposed to vote for anyone you want for any reasons you want. Because you like the colour red more than blue or because you like one name more than the other. That vote is of the exact same value than that of professor whatshisname who has a masters degree in politic science.

[@rolfs2165]

​@@adanflyber6341 German here, you can request a mail-in ballot and _drop it at the city's electoral office until __18:00__ on election day_ and it'll still be counted. And we have people here who do that every single time. When you're voting by mail, you might miss out on stuff happening after you sent it back, that might change your mind. But at the same time you have way more time to research the people who are up to election than when you're standing in the booth and seeing their names for the first time.

[@vincentguttmann2231]

The most interesting thing is that he himself voted via mail. And, additionally, voting machines are much more vulnerable, as was shown here previously.

[@hollyabair]

"Who owns a fully functioning pencil?" D&D players. Every single D&D player.

[@itchy-de]

But do you honestly believe a D&D player would risk their pencil for such mundane tasks as casting a vote?

[@hollyabair]

@@itchy-de that is a fact. I guess for my own personal use, I would find it an acceptable risk.

[@Blazer6464]

....a No. 2 pencil or a mechanical pencil?

[@hollyabair]

@@Blazer6464 yes. I have both. I mostly use mechanical but the erasers on those are abysmal so I also have a No 2

[@JonathanKillstring]

@@Blazer6464 That's a good shout. All mechanicals, everywhere I see.

[@christinafahey-matias6119]

As a person who grew up in Washington, Oregon, & the military, I've NEVER voted any other way, but by MAIL! It's always worked perfectly! 🤩

[@Justanotherconsumer]

I’ve had issues once due to mail thieves. I got another ballot.

[@maximumsteve8807]

@Dosing Psychedelics The oregon secretary of state updates their records every evening during an election. Their records indicate whether someone voted, but not how. So you can easily check up on it. Your concern is invalid.

[@hadassawhitney2097]

@Dosing Psychedelics Check your facts. My state offers multiple ways of confirming that my mail-in ballot was received. I received an automatic email confirmation of receipt.

[@wendyweaver8749]

@Dosing Psychedelics - 1) You are wrong. Judicial Watch wanted California to purge 1.5 million registered voters from registration lists. Those on the list had not voted for several election cycles. www.nbclosangeles.com/news/la-county-and-state-to-purge-15-million-inactive-voters-from-rolls/6866/ 2) WASHINGTON STATE is one of the all-mail voting states. Election pamphlets are mailed to all adults about four weeks before an election and ballots are received about two weeks later. The pamphlet gives instructions on how to register, when ballots should arrive, how to change your vote after mailing the ballot and how to obtain a replacement ballot if the original is not received. Completed ballots can also be deposited in secure boxes outside courthouses, city halls, or other locations selected by the local jurisdiction. All ballots postmarked by election day (postage paid by the government) or deposited into a ballot box by 8 pm on election day are counted. A completed ballot is placed in a security envelope that is then placed into the postage paid mailing envelope. The person voting must sign and date the envelope before mailing it or placing it in a ballot box. Signatures are compared to the database before the outer envelope is even opened. 2016 ELECTION: There were 3,209,214 votes cast in Washington state. Of those, 74 were flagged for possible voter fraud and sent to local prosecutors, which means the overall rate of suspected voter fraud was .0002 percent. However, only two cases were actually deemed to be fraud by prosecutors (one accused of voting for a deceased person and the other voted twice). Of the remaining 72 flagged voters, 59 were suspected of voting in two states but none did and the other 13 were suspected of voting twice within the state but none did. **Percent of deemed fraud: .00006232055**. www.msn.com/en-us/news/politics/analysts-elections-leaders-respond-to-president-trump-s-tweets-about-mail-in-voting/ar-BB14GHWA?ocid=hplocalnews Signatures are checked on every outside return envelope before they're opened, Wise told KOMO News. A voter's ballot is scanned and tabulated by machines that are not connected to the internet, she said.

[@dannyeisenga]

@Dosing Psychedelics I like how, when your first 'concern' with mail-in ballots was soundly blown out of the water, you didn't even acknowledge that and just moved on to your next argument against them. It's almost as though you have a different problem with them but you don't want to say so.

[@DarshanIyengar]

That "Chernobyl casual" comment had me rolling!!

[@lincolnsand5127]

I've lived in Oregon my whole life. And for over 20 years, we have exclusively voted by mail for every type of election. We don't have such a thing as in person voting. You also are automatically registered to vote when you turn 18 or get a driver's license unless you opt-out.

[@missybarbour6885]

As one of those 107,000 Pennsylvanians who voted by mail in 2016, I would like to reassure you that they pack an "I Voted" sticker in the envelope for you! I will nevertheless be printing out that hamster in a speedo as well

[@raywhite7179]

They don't for us Utahns. :

[@GAY_RULE]

I dont care for a sticker but I do love the "I voted and Im not dead" sticker lol

[@moos5221]

how many stickers did you get in 2016? xD

[@pinBin25]

“Sometimes hunger outweighs fear. Which is, incidentally, the official slogan of Taco Bell” - priceless!

[@ingridwheeler3180]

Taco Bell's owners, "Yum!" foods, are big trump donors. They also own , Wendy's and KFC. Voting with your dollars is effective too. Boycott!

[@DwayneJohnsonCochran]

John Oliver is a genius, his staff is brilliant and his delivery is spot on. This bogus vote by mail issue is so completely irrational and he points it out perfectly. Well done!

[@DavidStJames11]

i agree

[@raybin6873]

I agree too....it's strange an exBrit is educating us on voting!🇺🇲😁

[@avedic]

Agreed entirely....this segment illuminated a lot for me. Honestly....I've been out of the loop. I've been sequestered at home the past 2 and a half months. Then, about 2 weeks ago...I started back at work, in the bookstore I work in. It's SO good to be back in many many ways. But also...weird. Masks...all sorts of new protocols. It's just a strange time. And then...tonight, like 50 yards from my apartment, at least 1,000 people were out protesting...90% totally peaceful. 10%...not. At all. On several sides...a small percentage of both cops, protesters, and counter-protesters chanting 'white lives matter' along with blatant obscenities...but shit, it was coming from all sides honestly. It was bizarre...I live in a city of about 70,000. It's medium sized at best...but the scene ALL through downtown Johnson City, TN last night was pretty surreal.I've been so focused on work and getting back to normal...that I kinda forgot, shit aint normal. And may never be? Who knows. May we live in interesting times indeed....

[@marisachapman6764]

I'm just watching this episode now. It's amazing how John predicted so many things that did happen regarding voting by mail.

[@EllieCarina]

German here, I haven’t voted in person in literal years, mail-in voting is so much easier, 10/10 would recommend

[@sanSDI]

In einem System in dem jeder Wähler automatisch zur Wahl gebeten wird, ist das super. Das funktioniert hier weil wir automatisch im System sind. Die Amis müssen aber einen so genannten Caucus oder Causus ausfüllen, dafür gehen Leute rum und stellen persönliche Fragen, wie, wohnst du hier, wie viele wohnen hier, Alter etc. Und das machen viele nicht, warum der Regierung was über einen erzählen wenn sie eh nichts für einen tut. EDIT Census, ich bin mir nun wirklich sicher das es Census heisst XD

[@morningstarbedell5318]

I always vote by mail very easy

[@gaenseblaemchen]

@@sanSDI bei uns gibt es auch einen Zensus. Aber das Problem ist ja eher, dass man sich in der USA bei jeder Wahl registrieren muss. Oder werden da nochmal die Fragen gestellt?

[@falconeagle3655]

America is a third world country right now difficult to go to the level of Germany

[@nicemelbs]

I'm not an American and we don't have the option to vote by mail. I live in a country where politicians cheat in every conceivable way. I remember when I was young, before we had electronic voting, votes were tallied by hand from the night of the election day to about a month until they release the final tally. Every election, it's a guarantee that electricity would go out for the night. Whether it's a national or local election. To me, mail-in voting seems like something our corrupt politicians would exploit. How does your country combat this issue? EDIT: I'm not implying that your elected officials are as corrupt as ours. With all the vote-buying, tampering and even murder, I just can't see mail-in voting being viable in my country.

[@Nana-ff3gr]

"At a certain point, hunger outweighs fear" - Taco bell 2020 I'm dead

[@geraldpatterson3903]

and your stomach screams "GOD NOOOOO!!! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!"

[@boRegah]

I feel like noone kept the quality of his show as unaffected by corona as John Oliver ❤️

[@NyanyiC]

I miss the audience and studio though 😕

[@scowell]

I vastly prefer shows without studio or laugh-track audiences... I believe most of them augment the audience with tracks anyway. If this pandemic results in the disappearance of the laugh track it will have been worth it.

[@JesusHComedy]

And by that you mean still no one is laughing

[@JesusHComedy]

Jk

[@nighttrain1565]

@@NyanyiC I like sheep to

[@justinrobertson5493]

It's scary how accurate he was in this video with what's happening.

[@Maximilian_Pasch]

I really like how John and his crew talk about issues that are about to become a problem and educate the general public about it, rather than getting views by simply commenting on shit that has already happend. Keep up the good work!

[@Schadrach42]

It's totally one sided coverage though. For example, he basically just blew off the whole possibilty of election fraud, which doesn't broadly happen because now because mail ballots aren't widespread in places with contentious races. He didn't talk at all about ballot harvesting (which flipped a state level race in CA not that long ago), or about boleteros and politiqueros who play a significant part in down ballot races in certain states. A practice that I'd expect to get a lot bigger if we moved to all mail balloting. Or to put it another way, he's basically doing the same thing as claiming in 1812 that gerrymandering isn't a real problem that anyone should be concerned about, it doesn't happen enough to have any real effect. Also, I find it hypocritical for him to mention routine list maintenance as a good thing that often happens, when was he opposed to "voter roll purges" in a previous video? It's literally the same practice, just different terms depending on if you want to oppose or support it at the moment.

[@uspockdad6429]

Schadrach42 You really need to pay attention to the entirety of the videos if you want to criticize. He isn’t against removing dead voters from the system. In that video he explained that voter purges will often go in and purge voters who just haven’t voted in the last X number of years. Which is dangerous because just because someone didn’t vote doesn’t mean they are dead. And he may not talk about issues you mentioned as mail-in ballot issue that might come up because those issue have never happened on a large scale in this country. The worst example of mail-in voter fraud was perpetrated by the GOP in North Carolina. But Democrats have been courageous enough to continue pushing for mail-in voting to keep their voters safe even though they know there is a chance the GOP might try to defraud the system again, and their complaints sound like they are laying out their playbook. But as long as vote by mail is funded properly the country will be able to investigate and prosecute anyone caught trying to cheat the system. Which is probably why the GOP is fighting so hard to make sure it does not get the funding needed.

[@Tustin2121]

Schadrach42 - Voter fraud and election fraud are two different things. Voter fraud is done by the voters and is what John mentioned in this video, and it’s vanishingly small and everyone is always looking out for it while processing ballots. Election fraud is done by politicians and officials and includes ways to make sure sections of the population can’t vote, which include things like gerrymandering, closing polling places, poll tests, misleading the public about voting procedures, etc. “Ballot harvesting” is a third party collecting people’s mail ballots to submit on their behalf. Some states make it illegal because who knows what the person who collects the ballots will do with them. Campaigns do it in places where it’s legal in order to drive up turnout. You cite California, where apparently it was made legal recently, and GOP campaigns are on record that they’re upping their own Ballot Harvesting schemes to match the Democrats’. Not sure why the people can’t just stick it in the mail themselves...

[@Schadrach42]

@@uspockdad6429 "He isn’t against removing dead voters from the system. In that video he explained that voter purges will often go in and purge voters who just haven’t voted in the last X number of years. Which is dangerous because just because someone didn’t vote doesn’t mean they are dead. " Except that various databases regarding citizens aren't exactly connected, especially between states. If I go and die in another state, there's a real chance my state won't have a death certificate for me. So by some definitions I'm "not dead." If I move to another district in the same state, there's little the state knows or cares about that (state income taxes the following year and DMV up to 5 years later being the most likely - and it's worth noting that the argument against voter ID laws implies that a lot of folks don't deal with the DMV at all) and even less that the voter rolls do. If I move to another state, the only thing my previous state can be certain of is that I'm not paying taxes there any more. The NVRA provides a specific procedure for determining a voter is likely either dead or moved and thus can be removed, and requires it as a minimum if there's not more direct evidence of death or moving: You have to miss two consecutive federal elections, be sent a mailer, not respond to that mailer, not update your voter registration, and miss another federal election. At that point you haven't voted in most of a decade and are not responding to mail at your registered address, so it's considered safe for the state to assume that you are no longer a living resident at that address. "And he may not talk about issues you mentioned as mail-in ballot issue that might come up because those issue have never happened on a large scale in this country. The worst example of mail-in voter fraud was perpetrated by the GOP in North Carolina." ...and in 1810 gerrymandering wasn't an issue. It was something you could look at the system and clearly see as a potential serious flaw, but it wasn't an issue yet so we shouldn't do anything about it. The term "gerrymandering" was coined in 1812, in reference to a specific obviously manipulated district. Even then, it's something that only happened once in one state, so it's not a problem that should be discussed or any move to do anything about it done, right? The obvious routes to fraud that exist with mail in ballots aren't a "real issue" only because very few places have done large scale mail in ballots, and the few that have aren't exactly states where there's a real threat to the party in power, whatsoever.

[@Schadrach42]

@@Tustin2121 "Voter fraud and election fraud are two different things." A distinction literally only used in this context to be able to avoid talking about the very real security issues with large scale mail in voting, by pretending the issue is individual voters committing multiple crimes for single additional votes.. "“Ballot harvesting” is a third party collecting people’s mail ballots to submit on their behalf. Some states make it illegal because who knows what the person who collects the ballots will do with them." Hi, soandso. I'm suchandsuch, and I'm here to offer to collect your ballot and deposit it in the mail for you. It's a new thing, just passed last year, and it's only for Democrats. - there's a KZbin video of a ballot harvester showing up using basically that script. Totes OK, right? "You cite California, where apparently it was made legal recently, and GOP campaigns are on record that they’re upping their own Ballot Harvesting schemes to match the Democrats’." They also are on record overtly stating that it feels like cheating, but they're going to do it because it's officially not cheating and it's apparently powerful enough to flip the election. Does that sound like any other tactic you might be familiar with, perhaps involving Gerry's salamander shaped district?

[@MrDRM2008]

"Human boat shoe" is perhaps the best description of Tucker Carlson I have ever heard.

[@theangryintern]

In the new episode he calls him a "Sentient Polo mallet" which is pretty good, too.

[@MrDRM2008]

@@theangryintern - LOL! I heard that remark and laughed so hard I snorted.

[@MrDRM2008]

@ - I couldn't agree more! :-D

[@consternated1]

That’s John Oliver!!! Love him!!!

[@brandonmaddox4862]

I’ve always referred to him as a human piss stain

Gotta love how the "home of the free" is classified as a "flawed democracy" at best and how they think that higher voter turnout is somehow "bad" or "partisan".

[@CC-xf4pz]

João Luis Ramos Tavares lol! Because voter registry hasn’t been cleared and kept up on. They send ballots out to dead people and people who have moved.

[@dustincrawford6783]

@@CC-xf4pz you clearly didn't listen to anyone except trump

@@CC-xf4pz one would think that a technological powerhouse as the USA would be able to cross data between birth and death certificates and voter registration... but apparently they're fresh out of technology due to spying on their own citizens.

[@Futu06]

@@CC-xf4pz Yeah, but then that's not really "voting by mail is bad", it's "sending ballots out to dead people or to wrong addresses is a waste of paper". That's not a good reason to object to voting by mail in and of itself.

[@thisismetoday]

I think this may finally be the time where Americans realise their country is by far not the greatest place on earth.

[@16canadien]

Watching this while Biden flipped Georgia with those mail-in ballots.. Trump is probably punching the air right now

[@luiss.3866]

He was right. It's not like he's saying he doesn't want people voting. He doesn't want people voting by mail because he's guaranteed going to lose that way. Any other way he will win. And as I'm typing this I'm sure 173,000 more ballots with Nov 3 dates in them that all go to Biden will show up at a polling place in North Carolina.

[@LisaBeergutHolst]

@@luiss.3866 Trump literally said "stop the count" lol

[@LisaBeergutHolst]

Military personnel all vote by mail while on base. Guess Trump doesn't love the troops after all lmao

[@luiss.3866]

@@LisaBeergutHolst the election was over. It doesn't extend until the democrat nominee wins a lead. That's what he meant. Stop accepting late ballots.

[@luiss.3866]

@@LisaBeergutHolst Military bases are an exception. They don't really have a choice do they? And trump doesn't love the military is just not true. The only time I can think of is when he had a rally and them the to "clap you stupid basterds" ... oh wait that was slow biden.

[@RebeccaPaige]

Trump's attitude is "If the vote wasn't for me then it was fraudulent."

[@matthewchandler7845]

HAHAHAHA So true

[@michaeladkins6]

Just like his preferences in protesters.

[@joeberi1551]

Rebecca Paige Ayatollah Trump Ali gave ultimatum again!

[@dagochen]

If voting would change anything, it would be forbidden. - Vladimir Putin

[@gam3rmom3nt3]

@@dagochen hol up

[@LuckyTondi]

I was honestly thinking the "getting ripped and shredded beef" part would lead to Adam Driver.

[@AlienValkyrie]

Don't worry, he's just pulling another trick on us, pretending to stop for a few weeks just to hit us when we least expect with a full two-minute ode of admiration.

[@LordAmerican]

Based on his tone I was expecting him to somehow bring Adam Driver into the pelican bit.

[@Doc_Aspy]

I'm actually a bit disappointed that he didn't bring up AD. 🤣

[@nicovds]

Me too 😂

[@Frazzled_Chameleon]

I feel let down. lol

[@TheBatsu84]

In Switzerland we've been voting by mail for ages. In fact I've been doing it for 17 years as soon as I got old enough to vote. I know we are a small country and it's easier and cheaper to put things in place but we trust the system to work because if you say mail can be manipulated then wake up because it's even easier to manipulate a voting software. This channel even did a segment about that exact issue.

[@andredeketeleastutecomplex]

Best way to let nazis and stalinist trace you when they come into power. Ha!

[@Eli-su6ql]

@@andredeketeleastutecomplex If people can't trace you at least somewhat, how do you even have a registered voter ID? Yeah in order to participate in democracy, that democracy has to know I exist... your slippery slope is, as usual, pretty dumb.

[@domninin]

@@andredeketeleastutecomplex Or maybe just make the envelopes and voting ballots anonymous?

[@onyx9954]

André Deketele 'AstuteComplexTheory' not at all, the votes get counted by the locals so it’s more that every county sends the numbers to the government, not very trackable

[@fallenwarrior2686]

The fact that this video didn't give any international comparisons at all is probably my primary pain point with it, even though I agree with the fundamental message.

[@LeBonkJordan]

My favorite photo of the situation in Wisconsin is that one of that guy standing in line (6 feet apart) holding a sign that simply said "THIS IS RIDICULOUS"

[@BigDoeWilliams]

Sooooooooooooooo will there be "I just pissed off Tucker Carlson!" stickers provided when I vote by mail? Cause if yes, then I'm all in

[@ParadoxKismet]

That would be excellent!

[@kaitoukiddo87]

If there is then I’ll buy another set

[@iluvdissheet]

Yasssssss. I'm with u bro!

[@phillipsofthedriver]

oh HELLS YEAH!! I live in Alameda county, CA, we've had "vote by mail" by default for several years, every registered voter gets an absentee ballot. I'm surprised it hasn't spread through the entire state. Here, you can still show up at a polling place if you want to do it in person, but the last several times I went to drop off my ballot, there was nobody there but a couple poll workers who were happy someone actually showed up. Also, I ordered them LWT stamps, and got an email today that they were delayed because too many people ordered the darn things. Dangit. I want to use them on my tax filings, get to work stamps dot com or whovever is printing and shipping those! I'l have to file an extension if I don't get those within the next two weeks!!!

[@kevink.7597]

The RussThuguKKKant hate-mongers have no idea what is coming at them on 11-03-2020. The extinction may not reach all of them... but we are going to flip the script for generations if ever they gain any power back at all. 🕟2️⃣🛑😾🤳🏻🍊🐷😭👶🏻🐓💩🍄🍆🗽🐀👑👉👉👉🚽

[@corn-is-everywhere4052]

"First, you have to know a dead person; that's hard to do, they're antisocial." I don't know why that was so funny to me

[@bobfriesth3514]

It was just so quick and matter-of-fact

[@corn-is-everywhere4052]

@@fortisfortunaadiuvat9262 so we can't just sit here and laugh at a joke?

[@NPC-bs3pm]

@@corn-is-everywhere4052 Until it is a ☠ death ☠ sentence for voter fraud - I will not be able to take this one easy. I value the right📜 to vote a little too much I suppose. Another one of a few good reasons: There is a issue with votes being bought💲📜 more easily with the convenience of mail-in (yes mail-in votes are a thing, but lets not make it a massive under-protected system needing huge oversight).

[@357CLOUDY]

It was.

[@Kinja427]

NPC 2749 you could literally go outside a polling place and say “I’ll give you $x to vote Party Y” that is probably easier than buying votes

[@darrenhansen2418]

"My beef is shredded." He delivered that with a straight face!

[@TheTrishalyn]

Me laughing out loud with earbuds in and my boss walks over.

[@shannontobin7825]

Sometimes I remember that the past 14 months (and just the past four years in general) have not been normal and I get overwhelmed with realizing how absurd everything is rn

[@waltzguy14151]

John Oliver's shows have remained consistently good since Covid19 broke out

[@773SleepyHollow]

I've had the same thought... Bill Maher, on the other hand, has dived in quality. I suspect that a big part of that is that a lot of John is not only bearable but in fact a plus, because he's very charming, whereas Bill is only tolerable in small doses, preferably while he is surrounded by other people who are often brighter and more charismatic than he is. (I know Bill is bright, but he's not half as bright (or as infallibly right) as he thinks he is... he also lacks John's winsomely self-deprecating touch. Bill is self-deprecating only slightly more often than DJT.)

[@Pastrybfs]

@@773SleepyHollow Bill feeds off his audience more than Oliver I think. Bill in his backyard is a little bit... meh. Whereas I don't even notice Oliver's lack of audience anymore. I still watch both though.

[@sarebareh8r]

“You might as well put me in a tortilla with salsa and lime because my beef is shredded” 🤣🤣🤣

[@ChrisAllegedlyNoble]

Did you notice he visibly flinched when saying it? Like, that was just one step over the line for him, lol!

[@BPH55]

“You human boat shoe.” 😄

[@TobiasMeinecke]

@@stardust86x I think so ... he might be batting for the other team, too... but we all adore him.

[@daxmiller35]

7:20 “Stop playing politics with our lives.” Soooooo true

[@davidfuentes9957]

You mean “stop throwing tantrums with our lives”

[@kilroy987]

I thought about the future next episode of Last Week Tonight airing with an audience and the loud applause, and a tear came to my eye. It will be a good time when that finally happens.

[@nikki2jessica]

I already vote by mail, but learning that it pisses Tucker Carlson off solidifies my resolves to continue doing so lol

[@jimbob1353]

“Hunger outweighs fear, which is the official slogan of Taco Bell.” It’s hard to pick a favorite John Oliver line, but that’s got to be on the mail in ballot.

[@lvht1948]

Oh, I agree. Back in college, I got food poisoning from the same Taco Bell (the one right by my campus) twice in two years. But, as John says, "hunger outweighs fear" because I continued going back... I was hungry!

[@GuerillaBunny]

He could have said "Hunger trumps fear". He should have said that, because it's easier and that's how language *usually* works. But he chose to go down the more cumbersome path, and I appreciate him doing that. Oh my god. We might be in the process of a evolution in language. Imagine in a few years the wikipedia article on Donald Trump stating: "He is the reason why 'trump' is no longer a verb." And a few years after that, "trump" will re-emerge as a verb (when the knee-jerk reaction to censor it has worn off), with several new meanings, including: "to insist things easily provable as false are true", "to throw a tantrum on social media", "to pay for extramarital sexual exploits with high risk of exposure", "to practice totalitarian power in a real-life cartoon-villain manner, usually through complete lack of understanding", "to lead a cult of mindless drones", "to avoid paying one's employees", and so on. Come up with new ones!

[@numinousnihil3804]

John Oliver going OFF on Tucker Carlson is what I needed today.

[@amyashley3182]

I never fully understood the term “punchable face” before him.

[@joeberi1551]

Ayatollah Trump Ali gave ultimatum again!

[@marnimiller2048]

That was great wasn't it? Especially with the shitshow everything else is right now.

[@WillRennar]

Another option: Get your ballot by mail, fill it out, and then drop it off at your nearest polling place or other designated ballot drop-off location. You can skip the line AND help keep the mail-in system from getting overloaded.

[@mayalouwho2597]

“You human boat shoe” is the sickest burn I’ve ever heard

[@spiralbones]

Laughed so loud at that

[@AxxLAfriku]

Why is Donald Trump pretty and I am not? But why does he only have a wife but I have TWO HOT GIRLFRIENDS who I show off in my masterpiece YT videos? Do you know the answer, dear mays

[@dylanbasil4100]

It’s was brilliantly delivered! I laughed out loud as well.

[@mrusi29]

Fucking epic. Tucker Carlson is one of the nastiest humans on this planet

[@FreedomForever2010]

I don't know, I thought, "At a certain point, hunger outweighs fear" being the motto of Taco Bell was the winrar.

[@jeweldagod854]

“At a certain point, hunger outweighs fear” -John Oliver, 2020

[@unholykill333u9]

That's their plan...

[@77Brainfreeze]

“At a certain point, hunger outweighs fear” -Taco Bell, 2020

[@JoshJenrayAK47]

“You don’t have a pencil sharpener, and if you do, answer me this: WHERE IS IT?” Me, an artist: [looks immediately down and to the left] Right there… Also me, who has bad memory: ………I mean, it was……

[@jmperez1997]

Me, a teacher...Same. Also we are required to use black pen not pencil. Probably for security reasons

[@jamieism]

Me!

[@fbaxter8551]

Me, an accountant: *looks down and to right at my collection of kid school supplies I buy after every back to school markdown* Try again Oliver, of course I buy so many because I keep losing them.

[@goestdummy]

Mine's right behind me, but I only got it yesterday so I guess it's just a matter of time...

[@plucas1]

MECHANICAL PENCILS 4 LIFE!!!! WOOOO! \m/-.-\m/ Am an artist and haven't sharpened a pencil in 10 years! (just don't ask were the replacement leads are)

[@ntombikayisenzimande1362]

my man said: "your dress code is chernobyl casual". death has become me!!!

[@neoanderson404]

Switzerland have been voting 2-4 times per year... by mail (even online in a few states)... for free (obviously)... for decades...

[@neoanderson404]

We even have (in certain towns) non-swiss citizen (only resident) allowed to vote for local decision

[@joe7323]

Yeah, that's nice and all, but Switzerland has a measly 8,5 Million inhabitants, whereas in the US it's roughly 39 times more inhabitants (330 Million). It's not that easy.

[@tabularasa0606]

@@joe7323 Also Switzerland has good public education for all its inhabitants.

[@bjpe8228]

@@joe7323 to be fair, voting issues are handled at the state level, not the federal. most of our states have a smaller population than switzerland, or around the same.

[@lachlanhudson7404]

@@bjpe8228 Lmao, true, Virginia is basically spot on with Switzerlands Population. But Only this year did our state government condone voting by absentee ballot for any reason at all. (Thank you democrat controlled legislature, governor, attorney general, and literally every other part of Virginia's government for being blue and allowing this to happen finally.)

[@blipmachine]

HBO Max: The newest business daddy for John to roast.

[@rochelle1117]

Roast business daddy is my favorite meat.

[@ThatBoogieman]

ATT owns HBO bud, including Max, that's why they're business daddy.

[@Caelin100]

How the F$%k does anyone get into HBO MAX as anyway? Supposed to have it with my cell plan but no-one is around to fix the logons

[@jayanths1221]

@hmm k That's the whole point. It's a product placement without making it look obvious..

[@Anfangxs]

The USA: We send man on the moon, but voting by mail is supposedly a big thing. Tell me more.

[@sebastianlavallee706]

@Robbin Hood Have you heard about punctuation? I seriously can't make any sense of what you wrote.

[@inkmarxx]

It's just not true. Look up the many states where it successfully is done, including Utah :) Mail in ballots are safe, convenient, and make it easier to vote!

[@tlgpb0627]

Robin hood this is simply not the case. There is a system and it works super well. Secondly, wtf did going through garbage be a thing. Honestly, this is not a widespread issue and if you are experiencing your garbage being rummaged through, you may need to do some serious thinking. Maybe use a shredder....idk. also i have received a ballot by mail for years, it came in my mail like bills do and was convenient.

[@Serpiente21]

@Robbin Hood except no one actually sifts though people's garbage just for the low chance of finding an uncasted, undestroyed ballot

[@aziegster]

@Robbin Hood Let's be honest. Ballads don't need one staging area, the world is their stage. Oh, wait. You mean, ballots? Fucking hell. You'd think an English guy that robs from the rich and gives to the poor would learn how to fucking spell correctly. Take some of those shillings you stole and enroll in a spelling class instead of arming yourself and the Merry Men with extra arrows and tights.

[@JennzOrs]

Imagine telling your voters voting by mail is fraudulent, then losing because Biden's mail-in voters decided to vote 🤣

[@neurotika]

I think we need a sticker of Tucker Carleson’s face that says “human boat shoe”

[@CIARUNSITE]

Whenever a politician says it's not the time for something you can be god damn sure it's already long past that time.

[@telchar]

"hey, I have a pencil sharpener!" "WHERE IS IT" "Shit he got me"

[@dragongirl7978]

SAME 😂😂

[@csquared4583]

I was like I have so many pencils wait no all the erasers are hard and don't work shit

[@je23508]

Hey, I have a pencil sharpener AND know it is my husband's home office. 😃😋

[@telchar]

@@je23508 damn! But do you have any fully functional pencils?

[@EAenergy]

dragongirl7978 I work in construction. We all use knives 😂

[@TheReptilianBrain]

Thank you for what you’re doing with your platform. You’re a better American than a depressingly large segment of Americans.

[@arigadatred5395]

People who have functioning pencils: - D&D players - Artists

[@inkboo_4293]

im an artist and i dont even have a functioning pencil

[@ReynaldoRivera]

To be honest, I play DnD 100% digitally. The only pencil I have is the stylus for my MS Surface Pro.

[@amypieterse3706]

as an artist, i must agree......WHERE IS MY PENCIL SHARPENER ?????????????

[@rogerwilco2]

Yup.

[@delaware137]

Mathematicians also have functioning pencils

[@owenwells3749]

One day he’s gonna take off his suit and we’re gonna realize he actually is just super jacked

[@MyThoughts19902X]

Lol....he considers exercise a waste of time.

[@TheTrishalyn]

I hope that's the day Adam Driver is on the show!

[@kanden27]

TheTrishalyn holy cow! He didn’t do an Adam Driver rant this week!

[@joecon1343]

Yeah he gets jacked up with fish fillets, fries and big mac's lol oh dont forget the diet coke....

[@unknownsample4801]

@@MyThoughts19902X maybe he is talking about John.

[@hellcat1988]

What a shock that the group that usually benefits from low voter turnout would encourage people to not vote and want to prevent voting by mail... It's almost like they know they're shit and don't want to loose power.

[@Dryltd]

Electoral Boards throw out ballots. That's why they know it can be manipulated because they already manipulate votes.

[@paulwinegardener8407]

lose*

[@tylerprince5532]

The Dem primaries were cheated for Hilary in the last two primaries 😂 but okay

[@marvinurmenita1345]

@@paulwinegardener8407 irrelevant.

[@intheendyouwillknow2]

*almost* 😂

[@luminis6950]

This aged well. John is a prophet

[@oce1989]

Or a leftist mouthpiece reassuring people it's totally legit before mass fraud takes place.

[@JD.Knight]

No, Trump is just that stupid and predictable.

[@ZepHezR]

Instead of "I voted" stickers, maybe they should distribute "I voted" pencils, much more useful than a sticker!

[@LiqnLag]

You are absolutely correct, I mean who the heck has a sticker sharpener still?

[@SadfoxGuyver]

You can eat that rubber

[@messman10]

But, how will you sharpen them?

[@flugsven]

Srsly ? (Professor Quirrel, is that you?)

[@probablynotabigtoe9407]

It better come with a sharpener I haven't been able to find mine since 3rd grade, I think Jimmy stole it.

[@couch6691]

Voting by mail is standard in Switzerland for many years. No issues at all.

[@jessicamcdaniel5241]

Fortunately you aren’t run by the fire nation

[@casualsatanist]

Jessica McDaniel it’s honestly more like America is being run by those water tribe hicks from the episode in the swamp

[@jon3615]

AJ Farrell wow. That's a little harsh. We prefer the term genetically under served. GTG my sister mom is having my baby.

[@plazmotech5969]

Do you think you own a pencil sharpener? Oh well let me ask you this: WHERE IS IT??? That one hit close to home. Too real john, too real

[@just-a-space-rabbit]

same xD

[@Owl_Space]

I have at least two within easy reach. Plus an open pack of number 2's,

[@TheOsamaBahama]

I looked inside my drawer and it was there.

[@TheWeirdDinosaur]

I got the be in a draw of the cupboard where there’s a glass jar of on top that holds pencils cuz why not

[@johnnycto7576]

mine is right there on a shelf, 7 feet away from me

[@JoshFromGA]

It's hilarious that as he was ranting about pencil sharpeners, mine was sitting in front of me. In my kitchen. Exactly where it shouldn't be.

[@TurbidTG1]

"We're back tonight at 11:07. Due to the fact that we're producing remotely, we currently have to tape Saturday morning. That's never great, and this week, it's especially not-great. There's obviously a lot more to say than we were able to, and we look forward to saying it soon: - John Oliver on Twitter earlier.

[@oGPoLa]

Turbid you truly are everywhere my funhaus brethren

[@keco185]

I think it’s best they wait a week before commenting on the protests and riots. That way they will have more information to work with.

[@joecur7068]

Thank you cause I was like voter fraud right now really?

[@erichan7926]

ya i was expecting today's show be about the recent chaos. But hopefully next week's show will be.

[@radarmua2316]

@@oGPoLa Friendly reminder that ska came before reggae

[@pilarespinosadelosmonteros184]

“Your dress code is ‘Chernobyl casual’ “🤣

[@simonwilson5245]

The line about pencils hit home a lot harder then it should have.

[@acffh]

use a pocket knife!

[@OjaysReel]

@@acffh Why are you carrying a pocket knife at home?

[@magiv4205]

@@OjaysReel Why not? I always carry a pocket knife with me for whenever I forget my pencil sharpener or scissors. Also, why are you concerned about having a knife AT HOME of all places?

[@ChrissyBeTalking]

He’s judging us. Speak for yourself Oliver.I know exactly where my pencil sharpeners are!

[@BiggMo]

John...is voting a right or a responsibility?

[@michastrzelczyk7224]

omg I love Your brain man You are brilliant!! That Tucker bit lol