"Walter's Wisdom: The joys of marriage" | Arguing with Myself | JEFF DUNHAM

[@MagicByIzzy]

I love how Jeff pretends like He's really sorry for what Walter is saying and he's not responsible for it

[@samoyedpups4673]

Hehe me too!😁😂

[@richneilev]

It's the best thing about being a ventriloquist. You can say the most outrageous things about someone and channel it through the puppet!

[@picklefish74]

I hate Jeff Dunham and all of his weirdo puppets

[@picklefish74]

This is what happens when a kid with imaginary friends never grows up, and has a psychological disorder. I think that his parents probably never loved him. His father nor hugged him, not once. They probably just handcuffed him to a radiator, next to a sewing machine, and only ever gave him chunks of different colored foM to play with.

[@picklefish74]

If I saw someone just sitting at a bar with a bunch of puppets and he was making the metal to people, I would beat him within N inch of his life.

[@wardelliaenoch8936]

I love the way he gets out of controversial things by silently arguing with his puppets. 🤣🤣🤣

[@RobertCLewis-wf5nj]

L 😊

[@MrsMupp93]

"Was it good for you?" "Uh, I can't remember." "We just finished!" "Eew, who are you!?" HAHAHAHA

[@Creed1287]

Foreplay at our age? yeah it comes down to "hey, wake up" lmfao

[@sommerbrennan4071]

Read your comment As soon as he said that!!!

[@Creed1287]

@@sommerbrennan4071 ?

[@sommerbrennan4071]

@@Creed1287 I was reading your comment right when he said your comment in the video, 😛

[@subjectdelta4758]

"Welcome to Walmart, Get your shit and get out...Have a nice day" 😂😂😂😂

[@andywalters8763]

Pissoffyoudontknowmeyourfuckingwallmartstoreneedstoobeeshutdown

[@andywalters8763]

Imhereoktextme

[@andywalters8763]

Pleaseletthemkonwstay we iththmeformyjobmyfa m ily

[@SgtScorpious]

If only one could get away with doing that irl XD

[@bodyvathsakun8595]

Walter’s wife: screw you..! Walter: bite me.. XD I’m dead 😂

[@noob2thetubr293]

I went to india i thought i was in a local video all the women had a red dot ? I figured they were on record ha ha ha

[@brandygetz1043]

Who would just love to see Walters wife as a puppet? Lol

[@acelister16]

Brandy Getz me

[@davidhays6286]

HECK YEAH

[@danielsamiec6270]

Me

[@lilmissfireball]

I've been hoping for years. Lol

[@luislatinoman7055]

Dead. Ass.

[@YTWarrior100]

"Get off." LMFAO

[@subjectdelta4758]

"I CANT SEE THE WEATHER CHANEL, GET THE HELL OFF" 😂😂😂

[@freakyfrenchie6296]

Sweet Daddy Dee: Now that's funny. Oh, wait. No it's not.

[@natedawg3926]

Actually I think Sweet Daddy Dee said, "Yes ladies. I wrote that joke" or something like that.

[@Creedescent]

"Was it good for you? Ugh, I can't remember." " We just finished. Eh who are you?"

[@Creedescent]

It's come down to: hey. Wake up

[@graysonsgarage5157]

Jeff: Walter, at your age, how do you keep things fresh in the bedroom? Walter: Febreze!

[@NightwinSeraph]

Another good one would have been" air it out"

[@kaydencastle6844]

Grayson Reichert in

[@katwoman1017]

Grayson Reichert lol

[@elizabethelizondoflores9940]

Grayson Reichert '

[@meganfreymiller8726]

Grayson Reichert 💪cat

[@80andybrown80]

Not often I have a laugh at Armerican humor but this guy is brilliant.

[@slacadjuster237]

+Brown Andrew Seen Jeff live, incredibly talented, and side splitting humour. Worth every penny. If anybody has a chance to see him, go!!!

[@elizabethjarram]

Walter is so damned funny, I love what he says.

[@madkittyjoey70]

Definitely!

[@annettecarlson1698]

4:39 4:40 P

[@BSBPOTTERLINSIM]

"Maybe it lights up when the coffee's ready. Scratch it off and you freakin' win somethin" 😂😂

[@arkhamknight3501]

How about this? "Hey, looks like she's video taping me all the time!"

[@rrs1550]

Daughter Speaking: Hmm....Maybe it lights up to tell you the camera's still on..

[@kfactor20]

I lost it at, "Scratch it off you freakin' win something."

[@yashaggerwal1877]

I am an Indian nd that red dot joke 😂 was good i also laughed alot u have to come sometime to India to perform with walter nd achemed i love those 👏👏👌👌

[@EmergencyDrawings]

"When she yells screw you and I say bit me" 😂😂

[@mannequinfukr]

FluffyBlueKitten 1302 I cringed from hearing that

[@EmergencyDrawings]

card shooting gamer 😂😂😂

[@freakyfrenchie6296]

I couldn't breathe because I was laughing too hard because of that. XD

[@hanaomer1828]

I feel being a ventriloquist is Jeff's way of letting out the douche in him. 😂

[@DoubleCheckGames]

Hana Omer that would be me xD

[@zacharyvanoostenrijk93]

Multiple personalities

[@sarahwilliamson8646]

terrific outlet I say

[@putinthegreatone1055]

That's the whole point of being a ventriloquist, for the puppets to verbally say what the puppet master thinks

[@brianaguilar8283]

That’s the point of ventriloquism

[@Drake-ux4hw]

"My wife and I heard that coffee is good for your sex life" "Is it" "No it kept me awake THROUGH THE WHOLE DAMN THING" 😂😂

[@wadewilson4755]

I actually had to participate

[@thatboi9599]

Doctor says it’s bad for my heart, too.

[@XXLSSBBW]

All that caffeine?

[@XXLSSBBW]

No seeing my wife naked.

[@Atomic_Mayhem21]

XXLSSBBW That’s awful

[@cynhd277]

Jeff - You were quite the ladies man Walter - I used to chase girls everywhere 'till i got to Scotland and boy was i suprised!! That one cracks me up everytime😂😂😂

[@NinSega89]

CynHD I believe he said "skirts" rather than girls

[@JerryAsbury1985]

Lol he was tricked by a kilt, they don't take it to kindly, when someone calls it a skirt. I don't blame them either, people are too quick to make fun or judge & I hate that! These days make me sad, so many bullshit laws, everyone is so sensitive over being called a name or whatever. I recently read, that those who get bullied at school or over the internet claim they have PTSD over it, & they're full of shit!

[@TheeJohnnyBravo]

@@JerryAsbury1985 . Times here is different now, now if you have a funny shirt they call the cops

[@JerryAsbury1985]

@@TheeJohnnyBravo let them call the cops on me, I have funny shirts but they're not towards anyone.

[@lilyh3017]

This is exactly how imagined the Jeff Dunham comment section would be

[@pyxisthemusician3166]

I thought marriage was like a slurpee. It's good at first then it goes to your head and you're like "OW OW OWWW OWWWWW OWWWWW SOMEBODY KILL ME PLEAAAAASE!!!"

[@ChevCamaro]

The pain eventually goes away Yeah until ur stupid enough to take another frickin sip!

[@stonecoldfan3167]

Kernel Sanders CAN I GET A HELL YEAH TO THAT ONE!!!

[@Bimbo-w1n]

HELL YEEEAAAAH

[@CrAzyBoys-d5s]

@@ChevCamaro hahah

[@CrAzyBoys-d5s]

@@stonecoldfan3167 haha loooove Walter and peanut

[@CAL-td4km]

she screams screw you an I yell bite me hahahahahahahahahhahahahaha

[@lordblood9422]

C.A.L 1025 I'm using that

[@riammey]

"how do you keep things fresh in the bedroom?" "febreeze" 😂😂😂 omg!

[@MennaRafaa]

Riam Mey you spelled it wrong It is Febereze , it is Mandella effect "Google it,I'm serious"

[@jackieweaver3912]

Riam Mey you want to come by bethel Park on you and I will have me a call Charles is

[@georgemaster689]

Febreze....epic!

[@grammgale58]

I don't care if it is an older post, it is still great seeing it again and again when it pops up! Love it again and again!

[@zonglo1900]

I wanna see walter's wife lol

[@Markyroson]

SAME!!

[@timorousspecter738]

It would be interesting if she's a bombshell but he just can't stand her.

[@ed_Skynight]

+TimorousSpecter I don't think she would be a bombshell I think she would literally be a BOMB from Walters description

[@kristopherbarker3282]

Gao Zong Lo make a Walter's wife puppet

[@Markyroson]

TimorousSpecter now THAT would definitely be a plot twist! lol

[@tejask4889]

I am from India and the end was funny as hell...

[@akiontube1]

Exactly..lol

[@akiontube1]

Mạnh Nguyễn Văn Well women in India wear "Bindi" in between their eye brows of various colors but mostly red and it is not prevalent in western countries so Walter being Walter complains about why they wear red dot between their brows and Jeff being the master kicks in the humor by making these 4 statements or punch lines:- 1- Maybe it means you are here as in GPS and digital map show your location with red dot. 2-maybe it lights up when the coffee is ready as in it is an indicator for coffee making machine. 3-Scratch it off you freaking win something as in it is a scratch card of a lottery or something 4- look like she is video taping me all the time as in most of the video recorders show the red dot indication that the recording is on. Jeff is a master, it is funny as hell.

[@ziiofswe]

The red dot has been used on physical maps for ages too, like on those billboard style tourist maps.

[@daveyturu]

im not from india but i found it kind of harsh

[@tejask4889]

+Dave Gasto common, he is a comedian...

[@annacribbs4142]

It kept me awake through the whole damn thing 🤣....

[@metademetra]

"You wanna hear what I do" "No!" "Okay you talked me into it." "Wait a minute-" "Be careful some of these may sound pornographic: ...Get off! I can't see the weather channel!"

[@danielwallace4965]

walter is one of my favorite characters

[@InfectedSoup]

+Daniel Wallace he is in my top 10 list

[@AwkFoxx69]

Walter: Get the hell off. (I watched the disc so I know)

[@delta3838]

get the hell off!

[@InfectedSoup]

Delta 38 zeeee

[@lusciousleah2682]

How do you keep it fresh in the bedroom? Febreeze 😂😂😂😂

[@annasmith1352]

+LusciousLeah i keep my room fresh by not having sex lol that keeps it smellin fresh dont ya think... doesnt mean its fun lol

[@kaydencastle6844]

LusciousLeah iik

[@jeremyshuman1139]

LusciousLeah do u have sex or u never had it

[@ryleeworl6590]

Its febreze

[@shnkgamingyt115]

LusciousLeah

[@CodedClawX]

"How do you keeps things *fresh* in the bedroom*" "*F E B R E Z*" 😂 2:14

[@SuperSoldier26]

4:00 ha ha ha!! Scratch it off and you win some. That is funny

[@marioiacolucci]

+Alejandra Limon yep

[@CAL-td4km]

How about this hey looks like she's video taping me all the time 😂😂😂

[@SuperSoldier26]

hahahahaha!! Oh that's funny too!!

[@deannadeel7012]

C.A.L 1025

[@YaBoiNemo]

SuperSoldier26 its so funny. Maybe itnlights up when the coffee is ready

[@CasualMarioFan64]

Jeff: how do you keep things fresh in the bedroom? Walter: FEBREEZE!!!!

[@Clayton-vn6pe]

2:06 THE FREAKIN HEAD BOUNCE IS HILARIOUS

[@Akira-ky7yr]

I love how a lot of these jokes were from Peanut but later kinda got updated and put in for Walter. Like the car joke about being married, and only being able to bark at the end of a chain to a single woman etc and they still make me laugh!

[@lilfirefghtr3]

Walter: "scratch it off you fricking win something" Cracked me up so much

[@lkayacrews7199]

"She yells screw you, and I say bite me!" Lmao

[@aidenkinman9886]

I love it went Walter says she yells screw you and I yell bite me

[@amarqpr]

The funniest guy on earth

[@donngodfather285]

hardly.

[@skillskill12arthegoatgogbg16]

Don't know about that there buddy...

[@sarahfranks9533]

+FUCK YOU wow dude angry much?

[@ronaldmcreynolds7345]

All Jeff needs is Walter and Peanut. But with all his personalities inside him, that had to come out in other puppets. But if Jeff only had Walter, I could listen to him all day. That said, the comments about him doing Walters wife.... Oh man, that would be totally awesome.

[@takeshihiraoka5310]

was it good for? I can't remember! we just finished it! WHO ARE YOU? LOL!

[@natedawg3926]

"You know what oral sex for us is?" "No." "She screams "Screw you" and i yell "Bite me!" I died!

[@idonz6915]

Scratch it off and you frickin win something LMAO

[@coreyhelmling2066]

man I wish I had that type of talent

[@jessicaconner1242]

Corey Helmling what sex?

[@purpleserpent]

She screams "screw you!" and I yell "bite me!" 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

[@metalhead0274]

Walter reminds me so much of the two grumpy old men in the balcony of the muppet show. I honestly think that is where Jeff came up with part of his character

[@zaskarr]

Statler and Waldorf

[@Al_Marie]

"Is it good for you?" "I don't remember." Jfc im in tears XD

[@sunlvvr]

Jeff: Walter, how do you keep things fresh in the bedroom? Walter: Febreeze!

[@alJizzerror]

Jeff Dunham is fucking hilarious!

[@chattycassidy4224]

I told my boyfriend this will be us arguing when we get older 😂😂😂

[@ILIK3HATERZ]

you are here ! maybe it lights up when the coffee is ready! - LMFAO

[@davidhays6286]

Yeah scratch it off you fucking win something

[@jaidenjennings78]

Jeff:Walter your age how do you keep things fresh in the bedroom? Walter:febreze! Me:hey same man!🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@aprilpacheco851]

The part when Walter was talking about an Indian girl with the red dot making jokes about it was HILARIOUS 🤣🤣😂😂

[@cracklasco]

"Was it good for you?" *"*gasp*, I cant remember!"* Lmao

[@ninaparker7777]

I love Jeff, really!!

[@eliasjohannesen1747]

I sometimes forget that they are just puppets

[@risskit4037]

Elias Johannesen same lmao

[@CrAzyBoys-d5s]

@@risskit4037 I keep thinking there real

[@keithmashamba889]

Same here

[@NoNo-hk5np]

He developed their personalities so well!

[@brianaguilar8283]

That’s the sign of a true ventriloquist

[@lunajay1515]

Oh my gosh Walter and his wife sound like my mother and father!! haha!!

[@nenblom]

Walter imitating the dog is awesome! 🐕 🐶 “GET OFF! I CAN’T SEE THE WEATHER CHANNEL!” 😂😂😂😂😂

[@garrison7431]

JEFF-FA-FA DUN-HAM YOU ARE AWESOME!!!!!!!!!

[@idealicfool]

Just scrolling thr9ugh comments of these vids to find some9ne mention how great of an actor Jeff is in that his reactions much of the time look legit as though he's talking t9 an actual person

[@coryrocker3670]

Maybe it lights up when the coffee ready

[@gravitasanthem3026]

jeff: do you like being here in D.C.? walter: oh yes I do. I get screwed on my taxes everyday so it's fun to come visit the source!

[@OMGtheykilledKenny42]

Every year*?

[@MetalHeadbanger7]

J: So what did you do today? W: I went to the IRS building and just flipped them off!

[@kenamelia7324]

0

[@deborahrodriguez2559]

" till I got to Scotland and boy I was surprised " XD

[@Minleyx1]

At first I liked Peanut but I think Walter is my favorite one now :D

[@jrfoleyjr]

Walter is Jeff's voice to the world. Walter is my all time favorite. Achmed is not even a close second.

[@marygatten4697]

Minleyx1 my favorites are Walter and Achmed

[@sunlvvr]

Minleyx1 My favorites: #1 Peanut #2 Achmed #3 Walter #4 Jose #5 Bubba J #6 AJ #7 Jeff #8 Superhero D (idk his name)

[@jennyh6703]

Minleyx1 I like Walter and Achmed best 😀

[@LoreleiGacha]

Peanut is better

[@katwilkinson93]

Jeff Dunham this is so hilarious!!! I couldn't stop laughing at the whole video! 😂😂😂

[@DiveMaiden1]

"So is coffee good for the sex life or not?" "I don't know but they're never gonna let us back into that Starbucks again." More hilarious because I watched this video in a Starbucks. 🤣🤣🤣

[@MrRex1949]

Walter has the marriage correct😂👍👍🇺🇸

[@RhineStone46]

My favorite lines are “I knew people who had sex in their eighties. Their eighties? Yea. Good God!” And “how do you keep things fresh? Fabreeze?”

[@invisible7824]

No matter how many times I watch it I always laugh my heart out

[@gvb1503]

Jeff Dunham, you are the best in the world!!!!

[@erinpastorius600]

"Was it good for you?" "I can't remember" "We just finished" "Ehh who are you?" 😂😂😂

[@the22dude94]

Walter: They say coffee’s good for your sex life Jeff: is it? Walter: no it kept me awake for the WHOLE DAMN THING! LMAO

[@madkittyjoey70]

"So is coffee good for the sex life or not?" "I don't know...but I don't think they're gonna let us in that Starbucks again!"

[@reddbanditt3814]

"scratch it off you win something","you are here"😂😂😂🤣

[@angeld3654]

Jeff dunnnhamm cracks me up soo bad!

[@robertortega8093]

Jeff has a clear outlook on life through the puppets. They all make me laugh and smile. Especially the one we all know: Walter, has outlook on marriage is just about on point. Lol, lol, lmao. "red dot ... ." lol, 😹, lmao. Then the argue, but you can't hear what they, but apparently Walter wins. Lol

[@philipbello1914]

I love your shows. You leave me in tears every time I watch your show. I have one question. Will you ever bring out Walter's wife to get her side of Walter's remarks?

[@mathewdewsbury9456]

2:04 'She screams 'Screw you!' & I yell 'BITE ME!!' XD

[@Sczarny]

i freeking piss myself hahahaha love it

[@robertpedell3557]

Absolutely hilarious! Jeff Dunham is # 1

[@gotfan7749]

I'm from India and I totally love this

[@tommycannon2744]

I appreciated that this person made me a better person.

[@STB-jh7od]

Yes, make a Walther's wife dummy!!!

[@andreassmed2255]

No!

[@red00dragon42]

she would be too heavy for Jeff to lift.

[@AwkFoxx69]

She yells screw you and I yell bite me. XD

[@laiahime7313]

This joke was used in 1996 for Peanut. The new car and running to the end of his chain

[@PrfEsSRzm]

I luv Walter so much I manage to think,” how the hell can he keep a straight face?” Then I think,” oh yeah, right!”

[@18otr]

3:27 "you are here" 💀

[@emotionallyunstableandfill2497]

One day, Jeff should introduce Walter's wife as a puppet

[@IllusivePrime]

Jeff, PLEASE bring back SWEEEEEEET DADDY D!

[@thedrunkcanadian8035]

Maybe it lights up when the coffee' s ready I'm fucking dead 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

[@Netherwolf6100]

The best part is how he pretends to be offended at his own jokes.

[@lahlybird895]

"She screems 'screw you' and yell 'bite me'"

[@SethG24]

The funniest one yet

[@autumnblevins8875]

Walter: wanna hear what i say? Jeff: no.... Walter: get off Crowd: LAUGHS REAL HARD

[@Fungoop]

There’s always a red dot in the middle of their head. IM DYING 😂😂

[@oneofthefew1777]

How bout this HEY IT LOOKS LIKE SHE'S VIDEO TAPING ME ALL THE TIME !?!?!?

[@smc1942]

I don't want to buy a new model....they're too expensive!!! But I do enjoy a test drive every now & then!!!!!

[@aaronhembree8207]

For a moment I thought Walter was real

[@sj2814]

I hear ya. That's the really great thing about this. If ur really enjoying it. U can get lost in the performance. That's when u know it's really working. When even for those small minutes of time u believe

[@yert01]

Aaron Hembree Fun Fact: Jeff made all of his puppets. That's just how good he is.

[@yert01]

***** He's not real. The 'married' thing is more of like a skit thing. Idk, but hes fake.

[@yert01]

***** You do realize walter is fake.

[@yert01]

***** Because Jeff is a ventriloquist. He is controlled by Jeff. Stop trying to troll.

[@dawnspicer3447]

I LUV YOU WALTER AND JEFF

[@Spacy_Skribs]

if i could like this 1,000,000 times i would

[@darkslasher1545]

Fries McHugh you technically can. Just make new accounts

[@marachanell8306]

3:55 to 4:02 them arguing is funny 😂😂😂😂

[@amberjohnson6212]

“How do you keep the bedroom fresh” “Febreeeze” 😂😂😂😂😂 “My doctor said it’s bad for my health” “Drinking to much coffee” “No seeing my wife naked” 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@jakre10]

Love Walter!

[@valekazogoth]

Walter reminds me of "Al Bundy" from "Married with children"

[@HangTran-kv4rx]

Jack Rea more like Archie Bunker

[@comedyloverism]

He reminds me of Frank Barone

[@carbonclaw7280]

Frank barone maybe. Personally, I get a Red vibe from walter. Just need him to call someone a dumbass and he'd be Red.

[@rickmoody5751]

I absolutely love Walter and also Achmed If I'm down,I can watch a few minutes of these two characters and it lifts me back up.

[@garlicinbread9427]

Jeff is the only ventriloquist who legit makes me believe theirs two people up on stage

[@kitkatkittycatlover3115]

chris chandler YES!!! ESPECIALLY AS A KID