Wandering Widower, When Life Doesn't turn out as planned.

#widower #loss #lifeexpectations
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This is nothing new, but no matter how much we plan out our lives, there are going to be disappointments. At the same time, over the course of life we often have our expectations met and often exceeded. But...it's those times when life falls short that we can drift into a period of sadness. Loss of a loved one can be one of those triggers. At the same time, despite loss we can still have high expectations for the future. That's all part of my latest message as prepare to enter year three as a widower without my beautiful bride Pam.

[@kim100676]

I stumbled across your Chanel while searching for grief videos. I recently suffered a traumatic loss this past summer. I lost my sister in law, my mom and my husband all a week apart due to Covid🥲💔 literally a week apart. I don’t know how I am functioning every day. My heart is shattered into a billion pieces and I’m not sure what my purpose is any longer. I have two boys who are 23&19 and they are my blessings these days. Their Dad lives on through them for sure but they are suffering as well. This loss has been crippling to myself and our entire family. I’m still numb. You make it seem easy but I know it’s not and I’m sure you suffer. I’m not trying to minimize your loss or grief. You are two years out so you give me hope that it will get a little easier, right now for me it does not seem that way. To be honest if it wasn’t for my boys I don’t know where I would be. This is by far the hardest battle of my life. If I was not a woman of faith I’d probably be hospitalized myself right now due to my many emotions and thoughts. Just wanted to thank you for your videos and for your promise of a hopeful future for myself. ☺️

[@lifewithjackandnicole]

Kim, I am so very sorry for your losses. You have indeed suffered more than anyone could ever imagine. Trust me, while my videos and podcast may make it seem easy it is far from it. You and I both know how we can make people think we are fine on the outside while our hearts are breaking on the inside. However, I can tell you with a great degree of confidence that as terrible as loss is we still have purpose. In some small way I feel part of my purpose is sharing my grief journey with others to let you know you are not alone. I want also invite you check out my podcast. It's available from all the major podcast providers. Look for "Love Letters to Pam -The Jack Church Show" or you can simply listen at this link online anchor.fm/jack-church

[@kim100676]

@@lifewithjackandnicole So true. I’m a pro at pretending to be “fine” while breaking on the inside. This has been crippling to my heart & soul. I definitely will check out your podcast. Ty for the reply. God bless. 💞

[@nikkipage9132]

6 years of my mans decline took a serious toll on my health. We sold off things one by one as our savings dwindled. I retain a 2 bd 2 ba fixer trailer in a park..in Florida, but it's tough on 880 a month widows benefit. I have what I need. Had to sell my car. But I survive. I am pretty darn angry over it all. I just can't believe in anything anymore. It's been 7 months. I have no desire to do anything. I don't feel well. Talk about disappointment. I do have 4 great adult kids that are good to me. I am grateful for that. But I lost all desire to do anything now. Thanks for talking about loss. Loss of a loved one, loss of dreams. Be well.

[@lifewithjackandnicole]

Nikki, I am so very sorry for your loss and everything you are now going thru. This grief journey is so very, very hard. And while it may not seem like it now, it does slowly get a little better. You are still early in the process. Try not and be so hard on yourself and simply give yourself as much time as needed. Don't let anyone tell you how or how long you should grieve. In the meantime I want to invite you to check out my podcast which is available from all the major podcast providers. It's called "Love Letters to Pam - The Jack Church show." I do regular messages there while here on the KZbin channel I do occasional grief support videos but more on travel and cooking. If you prefer, you can go to this link and listen online. anchor.fm/jack-church

[@rayweeks1056]

Oh, this just breaks my heart 😢. I lost my wife of 32 years this past January and seeing this reminded me of all our “expectations “ of growing old together. I came across your videos not long after I lost her and they have been such a Blessing to me and have helped me in my journey going forward. Thank you for taking the time to put these videos out there for people such as myself. 🙏🏻

[@lifewithjackandnicole]

Thank you for your kind words. I am so sorry for your loss but do find there is a little comfort found when we share with others going down this same road.

[@edhines4864]

I retired Feb 10. Jennifer, my wife of 44 years got sick 4 days later. She had covid and a diverticulitis attack. She would not get better and we ended back in the emergency room. She was still testing postive for covid. They found fluid on her right lung and she was severely dehydrated. On release from the hospital they would call us for a follow up. Got the follow up for the 30th, but ended back in the hospital ER on the 20 th of March. Found out then that she had Non smokers stage 4 lung cancer. Onocologist was hoping for 3 years, but she just kept having set backs. I lost her on May 21st. I too lost my life companion and best friend. We had so many plans. I know she is in heaven, and that is my comfort, but I still wish she was here with me. Thanks for sharing.

[@21khronic]

I just want to say I really appreciate your positive outlook, please keep making videos. I lost the most important person in my life, after 17 years to a dui driver 3 weeks ago. Imagining the future we won't get to have is one of the hardest parts.

[@lifewithjackandnicole]

Thank you for your kind comments and I am so very sorry for you loss. The shock of losing someone is one of the, if not most difficult thing any of us will ever face in this lifetime. I pray you will find some comfort in knowing you are not alone on this journey. I also want to invite you to listen to my podcast "Love Letters to Pam - The Jack Church Show". It's available from all the major podcast providers and I post programs there on a much more regular basis.

[@spauldee886]

Meeting expectations. More or less than expected. Great insight. Its been 2 1/2 years. Losing my wife and best friend still hits hard sometimes and I Still shed tears and probably always will once in a while. Thanks for sharing Jack.

[@ronaldmabutas9192]

Hi Jack, just started watching your videos and i can relate to you very much. The magnitude of your love to your wife Pam is immeasurable, just the exact way that I love my wife Lilibeth. She just passed away last Jan. 20, 2022. Because of liver cancer, she was fighting for that for 6 years. I miss her so so much. It really breaks my heart and I don’t know what to do. At first, i was numb and shocked but now seems like my world is falling apart. God gave me no choice, but to move forward. This is the biggest challenge of my life. I hope i can make it🥺🥲💔

[@MagnumVideos]

You made me cry Jack. I lost my Rosie after 51 years of marriage on Valentines Day, so I feel your pain. It's only been 112 days for me so far. And you're right. My expectations were not met with this ending. But I believe she is waiting for me to join her again in a beautiful paradise with no pain and no sorry. Thanks for your videos. Keep thinking those positive thoughts.

[@margaretaust2699]

Thanks Jack! What a special person Pam was and, what a wonderful marriage you had. Mine was pretty special too. How lucky we are to have had such love in our lives. Margaret

[@jep1948]

Sounds like you had a lovely wife and a great life with her. My husband died from cancer young too, All I do now is thank him for every place he took me, everything we did together. Now I keep on traveling and doing the best I can.

[@Jb-uy5zx]

Losing a loved one opens wounds and leaves scars that are almost unbearable, I’m sorry for the loss of your wife and friend. Sometimes when your expectations aren’t met it is hard to understand why. Thanks for the video, good stuff.

[@ronniecupstid9955]

What a show Jack. I even shed a few tears. It’s unreal how both our stories are almost the same. I got my sisters to subscribe. Hang in there my friend.

[@geolassies]

I lost my wife cancer last year. It's been a very rough time, as I'm sure you know. Your videos have really helped put a positive spin and a sense of reality on everything that has happened since her passing. I truly appreciate your postings. I hope everything goes well for you. Thank you so much!

[@lifewithjackandnicole]

Thank you very much for watching our channel and for your kind words. Of course I am so very sorry for the loss of your soulmate. I truly understand how difficult your journey is and hope you find some comfort sharing with others on this same path here.

[@brigittegreene6517]

You better believe it, Jack! Pam did. I know, I believe she is in heaven now! Thinking of you and Pam!💚

[@meninagreen5704]

You are so brave. I like your views and videos. But I am nowhere near your level. When my husband died 2.5 years ago, I was devastated. The loss is enormous and incalculable. I miss him so deeply. I'd give any thing to hear his voice, his laugh. I hate being the one left behind. I carry all the pain. But you keep going in such a positive, inspiring way. Thank you. Don't stop.

[@blkbeauti05]

I am 49, my life didn't go as I expected. I am going to try to turn things around. Thank you for this.

[@tessymccall9271]

My life hasn't turned out the way I had hoped, thanks for sharing.

[@marywilson1948]

Beautiful message from your heart. Thank you for blessing us, Jack. Pam’s last breath on Earth was her FIRST in Heaven❤️

[@lifewithjackandnicole]

Yes it was! Thank you.

[@rhondawilkins_]

Great video Jack....and Pam! Well, my WIDOWVERSARY is October 25th, 4 years! My Keith and I were married 25 years.Keith also was dx with stage 4 colorectal cancer in June, 2014.He had never been sick our entire marriage.We also got a " colonoscopy report" we weren't expecting! The docs gave Keith 9 months....Keith " fought the good fight of faith" and we continued to believe 4 his healing.Keith survived 3 1/2 years! MIRACLE! He also was 55 when he graduated 🎓 to heaven in 2017.Im in Little Rock, Arkansas Jack....a hop, skip and a jump from Franklin, TN. I frequent Nashville. Lovely place to retire.

[@lifewithjackandnicole]

So very sorry to hear about you losing your Keith. But sounds like you have strong faith and that certainly helps but of course we will always miss the love our lives. I also have a podcast you may want to check out will I do more messages centered on loss. It's available from all the major podcast providers. Just look for "Love Letters to Pam - The Jack Church Show".

[@rhondawilkins_]

@@lifewithjackandnicole Hi Jack! I listened to a lot of your podcasts yesterday and last night.Very helpful! It's really wonderful to have these "widow talks and walks" as we Journey through Widowhood.Everyday, I thank the Lord for giving me 25 years with Keith.MOST WOMEN don't get what I had! It would be fun to get a good group of us WIDOWS together in Nashville or Little Rock and share our Journeys over a 3 day weekend.

[@traceycastro2552]

Thank you for these videos. I unexpectedly lost my husband two months ago and feel so lost. These are super helpful.

[@lifewithjackandnicole]

I am so very sorry Tracey. It is so incredibly hard but since we are still here there must be purpose. If you have not listened to my podcast I would invite you to check it out. I don't do many grief videos anymore since I moved most of that material to the podcast. You can download from any of the major podcast providers. Just look for "Love Letters to Pam" - The Jack Church show. Or you can listen on line here anchor.fm/jack-church

[@traceycastro2552]

@@lifewithjackandnicole I found your podcast! Thank you!

[@betsyfowler2342]

Just found your channel. Thank you for your honesty and positivity. It has been just over 2 years since I .lost my husband, also my best friend. You give me hope that there is still a lot of life left to live in my 60’s.

[@lifewithjackandnicole]

I'm so sorry for the loss of your husband. It is truly one of, if not the most difficult things a person will endure. Over time, it does slowly improve but there are plenty of hills and valleys as I'm sure you have already experienced. I always tell people, we don't "move on" but we do learn how to "move forward". With each step we learn to live this new life. Take care.

[@duanevanwinkle3488]

The question I would ask along the way was " Do I trust God or do I just say I trust God?" We prayed that God would heal Sandy's body... preferably here on earth, but he chose to give her a new body in Heaven. The song by Casting Crown, "Scars in Heaven" gives me great comfort knowing one day I will join her and enjoy her and all of God's Glory.

[@lifewithjackandnicole]

I know exactly what you mean. I would be at the tv station at night between newscast and call out to God to please heal Pam or just take her home and heal her. He took me up on the part about taking her home which was not my first choice but indeed I do trust in His plan. Love that song "Scars in Heaven", although I cry like a baby every time I listen. BTW, I also have a podcast where I do more regular messages. Just look for the "Love Letters to Pam - The Jack Church show". It's available from all the major podcast providers or you can listen at this link online. I would highly recommend a message I did several weeks ago called "Holiday Letter from Heaven". Reading it gave me comfort. anchor.fm/jack-church

[@ussco]

Wow, I commented on your Custer State Park video. I didn't realize you uploaded this as well. Thank you for sharing this.

[@lifewithjackandnicole]

Thank you so much for your kind comments. I really appreciate it. I also have a podcast where I talk about loss. You can find it from any of the major podcast providers under "Love Letters to Pam - The Jack Church Show" or you can go to this site online anchor.fm/jack-church

[@heatherd5609]

Your so lucky to have had Pam. I bet she would wish for you to be happy. Sounds like you had what most people could only dream off. Enjoy your visits to different parts of America.

[@heatherd5609]

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[@kuchihotpot]

Thanks for sharing your thoughts on your personal grief journey , Jack and be assured that many will definitely take away something meaningful for themselves , especially those on the path of personal grief journey. Have a Blessed new week 😇🙌🌤️🙌😇.

[@crumplezone1]

" we are all on a journey and some people`s journeys are shorter than other peoples but we will all eventually reach the same destination "

[@TomDantzig]

You’re a good man sir. I realize you have someone new in your life and I’m very happy for you for it. As for me, I’ve been a widower going up four months now to my wife of 25 years .just like you, I had plans to move to Florida and be a fishing bum with my wife .right now, I feel like I’m in no man’s land and just trying to live in the moment rather than the future. Just trying to get my daughter through college in one piece and haven’t quite figured out what I’m going to do from here. Thank you for these videos, I really enjoy them in this time of my not so sure new life as a widower

[@krisi3128]

Thank you so much for sharing this message and for sharing your experience.

[@sharonmccollister4204]

So sorry for your loss. Great person you are! I am flowing you. May God be with you!!

[@edmundpotrzeba6094]

Youv well exceeded my expectations , thank you ❤️

[@sharonzolna3375]

You helped me, a new 78 year old widow.

[@tragedytrousers1769]

Sending you much 💘 I lost my wife yesterday

[@Expat-happy-hour]

My expectations were also not met. I retired to the coast of Ecuador last year with my wife Vivi. We had big plans, she is originally from Colombia and she made evrything so easy for me to live, communicate, make friends here. We bought a piece of land on a hill with an ocean view. We just started to break ground and start building our new house. Well her breast cancer came back and she started to get very weak and sick. She went to the hospital , but not much could be done. I took her back to our rental home in Ecuador and took care of her with the help of a visiting nurse. 3 months later she passed away at home, peacfully in her sleep, me by her side. Now I am still building the new house, completing the dream for her now. I have to be strong and just deal with the loneliness one day at a time. I do believe in God, and Vivi is in a better place now.

[@lifewithjackandnicole]

I am so sorry to hear about the loss of your lovely bride. It is truly one of, if not the most difficult thing anyone can ever experience. Thank you for sharing your story as I'm sure it brings some comfort to others knowing we are not alone on this grief journey. Take care.

[@cheechak481]

Thank you again Jack....for sharing your pain. My beloved Georgette passed away almost four years ago. I still talk to her every day...in the hope that she can hear me. Now all I have to give her are my tears and my broken heart. "The only scars in heaven, they won't belong to me and you There'll be no such thing as broken and all the old will be made new And the thought that makes me smile now even as the tears fall down Is that the only scars in heaven are on the hands that hold you now." ........ song lyrics.... Casting Crowns.....

[@lifewithjackandnicole]

That song pretty much says it all and gives us all hope of seeing one another again!

[@rabick62]

I lost the love of my life last year after 53 years of marriage. I'm sure in 4 years I will be just like you are, my tears and broken heart will still be going on. I talk to her everyday and I still cry just as hard as I did when God called her home. Tried to listen to scars in Heaven but couldn't , hopefully someday I will. So sorry for your loss, Peace and Hope to you.

[@cheechak481]

@@rabick62 We had been married for 52 years when my Georgette passed away......after an accident....we didn't get to say good bye.....there is so much I wanted to tell her......I still at times turn to ask her about something or other before I realize she is not there.....I still tell her I love her and miss her many times every day. I smile politely when with others...but I don't think I will ever be able to really laugh again. I still can't look at photos of her without tears. May God bless and comfort us in our pain.

[@rabick62]

@@cheechak481 I hear you, and I know how hard every day is. I talk to my dear wife every day too, but it makes me break down until my face hurts and I stop. Most people don't understand the lonely misery each day brings, and the biggest question for me is "now what"? I'm so lost and confused, your post looks like to me I could have written it. You are not alone in this long hard road to travel ahead of us. I didn't get to tell Sheila goodbye either, don't know if I could have. May you find Peace in the days ahead, I believe like Jack that I will be with her again someday, I can't hardly wait.

[@Wookinpanub235]

Man, those medical bills. Nothing throws acid on the skin of grief more than having to lose your spouse and then all your money paying medical bills for someone who is no longer with us.

[@douglasbrinkman5937]

lost my wife of 20 years last year. miss her every day. in the house that we renovated together over 11 years of time. the demand for 60 year old widowers is rather weak.

[@wandasewell4501]

❤😢!

[@kulvinderpalsingh9671]

Man proposes but God disposes.❤❤❤

[@barbararobbins441]

you are a fine man Jack