we aren't embracing 'natural beauty', we're praising biological advantage

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time stamps:
00:00 - intro
07:48 - 2016 - 2020 - the shift begins
14:28 - clean girl makeup and skintok
29:24 - plastic surgery
sources:
Foundation is dead - www.nytimes.com/2022/08/10/st...
‘Not ugly, just poor’: how the beauty industry is widening the class divide - www.dazeddigital.com/beauty/a...
Is TikTok Helping or Hurting Our Skin? - www.wsj.com/articles/is-tikto...
The Internet’s Obsession With ‘Status Skin’ Is A Real Problem - www.refinery29.com/en-gb/stat...
The problem with TikTok's 'clean girl' aesthetic - i-d.vice.com/en/article/epzna...
The Young Women Racking Up Debt In Pursuit Of The ‘Perfect’ Face - www.refinery29.com/en-gb/boto...
Turkey teeth - a big problem - thegentledental.co.uk/turkey-...
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[@jordanatheresa]

#ad Milanote is available for free with no time limit. Sign up using the link here: milanote.com/jordantheresa

[@livianicholson9623]

im obsessed with milanote - how have I never heard of it before!!!

[@sunnybri123]

My graphic design teacher introduced my class to milanote like two years ago and it's seriously so great

[@aggylyf]

you HAVE TO disclose that it’s an ad earlier in the video

[@AngledHourglass]

I really enjoy watching you and I could tell it's an add but please please PLEASE you have to show visually and verbally that it's an add

[@mstly4lg]

I NEVER use foundation.... but I did spend a G on face laser

[@rinapop2681]

I’m not scared of being an older woman I’m scared of how I’ll be treated by society for looking like one

[@DarkCelestialConsciousness]

🔥💯💥 Exactly Don't b loves u belong in this world and they don't pay your bills 💖🌟 Shine on XD

[@chimchim1821]

I promised myself I won't care, I'm gonna be a fucking cool emo grandma and everyone are gonna have to suck it up, and shove their mf opinions trough their ass

[@user-ny2fk9gm1k]

I don’t know I’m looking forward to it. Seen older women get treated with respect a lot more than younger women. People try to stick to you when you’re young, they might be disgusting, they might be fine, they all want validation and to exploit your body. They don’t give a shit about your thinking self, they only want your body as if it’s an exterior shell made for them to consume. We’re also taught to be insecure enough to derive validation out of being exploited like that. Hated it. People talk shit about older women because they’re insecure themselves. Especially men who think a lot about a woman’s age are terrified of aging themselves and have to externalize that dread because a man isn’t supposed to feel like that. I almost feel like they seek out women to give them anxiety about age if just to have someone to relate to. The less I’m seen as desirable the more I feel people are paying attention to what I say. As a kid I was “weird” so I had to learn to be charismatic, then when I got “pretty” no one cared about that anymore. Then I gained a lot of weight and I realized I had to be charming again to get peoples attention. I felt a lot more validated when I was able to build a connection with someone like that.

[@Samantha2209]

😢 girlllll… I feel like you peered straight into my SOUL!

[@megsley]

nobody is gonna care when you're old stop making yourself out to be a victim before anything has even happened.

[@_Alimm]

Women's true liberation lies right behind our fear of aging.

[@SloanePaoPow]

👏👏👏

[@helenaap2042]

Because the fear of aging as a woman, is the fear of loosing our spot when constantly pitted against other women. Its divide and conquer.

[@zkkitty2436]

women's true liberation lies behind our fear of becoming old/disabled and therefore disposable. the ageism is rooted in and stands on ableist ideas.

[@botanicalitus4194]

@@TenderNoodleAint no way they are saying this 💀 I mean I think theres nothing wrong with getting plastic surgery and procedures but its nit a feminist choice, its just a personal choice

[@Samantha2209]

Amen

[@michalapalmer8874]

You’re definitely right about the cognitive dissonance between telling people to “embrace their natural skin” and showing models and celebrities who have access to make sure their “natural skin” is perfect

[@anishna_]

the biggest example of hypocrisy i witness on a regular basis 😤😤

[@amydunnediditnow]

whose picture can people use besides models and celebrities? it’s kind of their job to make pictures of their face publicly available, thats not the case for normal people

[@shifa444]

@@amydunnediditnowthere are pics of models with acne, pimples, hyperpigmentation, etc but they don’t use those pics. I’m not only talking about runway models but models as in like who’s pics u can use for free.

[@TenderNoodle]

I get the whole “clean girl” look because of this tbh. When I was still trying to achieve that look it was much less liberating than a full beta because I was still painfully aware that I had to make my skin look perfect but now with the added anxiety of making sure it didn’t look like makeup, something which is basically impossible when 70% of your face is covered in very pigmented acne and dark circles. It’s basically “embrace your natural skin! (If it happens to look exactly the same with or without foundation because it’s already perfect)”

[@Anna_Yasmin]

@@TenderNoodle They just advertise skin care products. It's not bad. You just need to understand that many bloggers also simply advertise cosmetics.

[@lydia5286]

I’ve said it before, I’ll say it again: the Beauty Standard is whatever is hardest to achieve

[@hannrkelley]

Hardest/most expensive, yeah. Sigh. Getting a bunch of expensive micro tattoos then paying twice as much to get them all removed is the new fun one. Peace is cheaper and better.

[@Anna_Yasmin]

I believe that when new beauty technology comes out, it is expensive and only available to the rich. Everyone looks at it and wants to look like the rich. Over time, the technology becomes cheaper and becomes available to the majority, everyone begins to use it. But how can you stand out from the crowd if you look like everyone else? The rich stop using that to not look like everyone. A new technology appears, available only to the rich... and so on ad infinitum.

[@peccantis]

Whenever a fashion becomes too easily/widely adopted by the hoi polloi, the elites move to another direction. Whatever is "chic" now will be "tacky" and "affected" tomorrow. Whatever is "natural" (or even natural) today will be "unkempt" tomorrow.

[@chelseaamara7218]

@@Anna_Yasmin Lip fillers are prime example of this. They used to cost a fortune now I see 18 year old waitresses with fillers since they cost less than 200 bucks.

[@summero-my5in]

if it was accessible to everyone, then people couldn't be 'above' others, so yeah. And it needs to be inaccessible, so people spend lots of money trying to achieve it. Companies at work.

[@sarah8028]

Men love acting like makeup/beauty products are an optional “splurge” but people at work - men AND women - treat me so much better when I look good. Its a necessity for success. I am a bit awkward (bad anxiety) and people are SO MUCH more forgiving of it now that I’m pretty. I’m not “weird” or visibly ND anymore, I’m just cute and quirky.

[@dontevenstart]

It’s definitely a necessity!! The amount of ppl who wld jst approach you when ur good looking/cute/pretty is actually shocking when compared to when u put in no effort..

[@shifa444]

there is actually a study where it shows that women are less likely to be hired if they don’t wear makeup

[@tamiadixon8312]

Yup! I realized I’m not as respected when I’m not done up 😢

[@user-ny2fk9gm1k]

Oof I felt this hard. When I don’t wear Make-up people are like “something is off about her” when I do wear makeup it’s “she’s so mysterious and such a free spirit” I feel like I don’t have the option to reject the manic pixie dream girl label because otherwise I’ll be kicked out of groups.

[@elderscrolls69420]

Especially as a woman trying to break into the professional world, looking put-together is so much more difficult for women than it is for men. If I come into work without my nails done or with my natural hair it comes across as unprofessional and messy, not to mention the tightrope walk of making sure you have enough makeup on to look presentable but not too much where you look ‘trashy’ or like you’re trying too hard. Aesthetics unfortunately play a large role in the professional world and, as with all things, women are held to a much higher standard.

[@DarleneLesmana]

if i see one more tiktok beauty trend that is just phrenology i'm gonna scream

[@weronikatrynkiewicz1196]

I wish I could heart this comment

[@pragyasingh2297]

NOT PHRENOLOGY LMAOOOOO

[@ambercolored3090]

phrenology and physiognomy taking the youth by storm is sooo frightening to witness since part of it is rooted in antisemitism

[@lindsryan1087]

😂🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@sleepy_head6963]

What is that im sorry im dumb 😭🤌

[@FrumiousMing8]

As a 31 year old woman, I want to speak to you all in your teens and 20s. I'm trying to cut through all the things potentially instilling in you a fear of aging. You don't turn into a joyless bland person when you turn 30. You're more or less the same person you were in your 20s, just with more experience under your belt. You know yourself better and feel more comfortable in your own skin. I want people to look forward to their 30s as a time when you're freer than you've ever been. Learn to embrace your weirdness.

[@sodakhanart]

30s are the best! I’m so much happier and confident now 🎉

[@sodakhanart]

@@heather5276 Oh my goodness this 100%

[@veronicamaine3813]

I don’t know anyone who would want to be in their 20s again - as you get older you realise that it’s only commercialisation that pushes ageism. I am way more happy with me in my 40s. I had fun in my 20s but as a person I’d don’t know who I was and was in a constant state of anxiety. Now I just say f it, and Do what I want.

[@scarletsletter4466]

I mean… I appreciate this comment but I think it’d be more interesting to hear from someone in her 50s. Bc let’s not act like plenty of 30yos can’t look like they’re in their 20s

[@FrumiousMing8]

@@scarletsletter4466 I'd love to hear from women in their 40s and 50s as well! I said what I said because society makes women feel like they're geriatric by the time they hit 30. Teenagers and young women are bombarded with anti-aging stuff aaalll the time. It is still worth it to push back against those ideas. I'm trying to emphasize that you can still be youthful and exuberant when you get to your 30s.

[@jadesfromjupiter7780]

i was HORRIFIED when i found this lady on tiktok. i can’t remember her name but she has very nice skin and talks about skin scare, but she also talks about how she taught herself to emote without using too many face muscles and it’s genuinely tragic. she teaches women how to smile without their eyes creasing and stuff like that. imagine feeling the need to change the way you authentically express yourself and having to think about how you’re moving your face while you’re just simply existing. it sounds seriously exhausting and demoralizing.

[@longlongie5938]

I can imagine. People interpret my genuine smile as evil grin, nervous/uncomfortable expression as genuine smile and expressionless as sad. For the same reason we are called tired and sick when we don't do makeup. Expressions, body language and beauty are all connected.

[@funsizedi88]

Yes, it is why Marilyn Monroe was exhausted of being an actress a few years before her death. If you see her interviewed when she's being herself, her mouth/eyes moving completely differently. It is insane.

[@Shirumoon]

I have PTSD (there are way more conditions that also deal with this) which makes my facial expressions way more neutral and empty than they should be. I am sooo jealous of people who can smile with their eyes or look surprised and sad and just natural. There is research that shows how facial expressions elevate your emotions and stimulate certain parts of you brain and vagus nerve (?) which in turn means that withholding expression leads to potentially worse mental health.

[@skrittle555]

@@Shirumoon yes i have flat affect too! mine is from a decade-long drug-induced psychosis (recently found out i'm bipolar and it was bipolar mania with psychosis). people always comment how young i look and it honestly pisses me off. i also got the most compliments on my body in the weeks leading up to being put on a feeding tube. they really don't care how you got there, all they care about is appearances. so vapid, some people. happy healing, friend. mental health struggles are horrible but you can definitely get better at managing your symptoms.

[@Shirumoon]

@@skrittle555 Omg I never had the chance to "talk" to someone who also has flat affect! Thanks for opening up, I feel less alone know even though I technically know that other people have it and sometimes you can tell. But it's never talked about and especially not in the context of screwed up views on beauty. Thank you, happy healing for you too 🫂

[@Veems]

Why is it so hard to normalize occurrences in humans. Why must we insist we have flaws instead of just it being something that simply exists? I know the answer is money but I still hate it

[@rewdskwid]

Especially in regards to body hair. Humanity has this need to deny being an imperfect human, we have to be better than human.

[@Veems]

@@rewdskwid Exactlyyy, I agree! like we don’t love animals less bc they have hair

[@HerLegacyOG]

Actually, knowing the answer makes me hate it even more lol

[@awtumn]

@@rewdskwidThe way people look at body hair-more specifically on women and female presenting individuals-makes me so anxious when I go out in public with my hairy legs exposed. Little side tangent; I haven't gotten rid of my leg hair lately and have gone out on numerous occasions with my leg hair just out and exposed. I felt like all eyes were on me, even though I'm sure no one payed attention to my legs. Societies view on body hair is really ingrained in my head. 😭

[@EmL-kg5gn]

I had the same experience! I felt SO anxious but I’m really proud of myself for doing it anyway. Stay strong!!! I moved back to my old city and tbh it set me back to square one, but I’m working on pushing myself again because it’s important to me to resist beauty standards. I find seeing it as an act of resistance rather than an act of confidence helps!

[@finyafuxfell3031]

When it comes to ageism, I wish people would see wrinkles more as a privilige than a fault. This year, we lost a dear family member way before their time. Not everyone is lucky enough to watch themself age. It made me painfully aware about the fact that it does not matter how I look or how I age. But it made me focus on trying to be my healthiest and happiest self. I wish more people would have this realization without that type of experience.

[@91clarie]

This. My dad passed in July at 64. That's not old for today's standards.... people should appreciate getting old, not everyone gets a lot of time on this planet:/

[@rottenghost]

Yes! Age is such a beautiful thing, old people carry so much life experience and it’s such a privilege to get to that point. I’m sorry about your loss, please take your time to come to terms with it :)

[@kristenjohnson7041]

I’m 25, and I struggle with this fear of aging already… I’ll admit I don’t know if I’ll accept aging naturally. I like the advantages of looking young. Unfortunately, you really do get treated better in society if you’re perceived as young enough and beautiful. Losing that will be difficult.

[@gracesull78756]

reminds me of a clip i saw a day ago from a recent anne hathaway interview where she was asked her thoughts/response to ppl saying she looks good fir her age, js aging gracefully, etc. and she responded that she thinks aging is really just living. that and exactly what you said about aging bejng a privilege is exactly how we should be viewing jt. so sorry to you and your family btw, wishing you the best in dealing with something so tragic

[@amygreen9662]

Right. And why do some people hide their age? I am what I am. I'm this age or dead. Why hide it?

[@taylorslade961]

The most egregious sin of skintok for me, or any kind of skincare content, is the fact that all skincare influencers refuse to acknowledge that consistency is the most important part of skincare. Switching up your products every week is going to give you more issues than it will help.

[@rewdskwid]

And less is always more. You don't need an elaborate routine, the more products you use and layer, the more likely something isn't going to mix right and give you worse results. My skin is best when I stick to basic cleanser, moisturizer and retinol.

[@marni3682]

​@rewdskwid This. I used to have consentent breakouts on my face cause I kept trying to use trendy skin care products that I'd see influencers with 10 step routines use. Found out I didn't have to put so much on my face and now I rarely ever get bad breakouts

[@katgreer6113]

​@@rewdskwideh, it depends. For me more is more. I need that 5-6 step routine.

[@truplaya2010]

Completely agree. It’s always “go buy this”…when in reality adequate Sleep, sunscreen and water will do worlds more for the skin than the finest of products

[@Mia-yk2is]

@marni3682 SAME, my skin was a mess when i was product hopping and didnt start clearing up until i started using a gentle cleanser, toner, and moisturizer/sunscreen with just one active per day and night. 3/4 steps may seem like a lot but when you consistently use the same product it’s not too difficult or expensive, especially compared to buying everything just because it’s trending

[@danimariafe]

what immediately came to my mind is all the "men" saying they prefer women without makeup and the whole time sis got a full face on just not bright eyeshadow or red lipstick... the natural look has nothing natural about it. It's still effort, time and money!

[@EmL-kg5gn]

Yes! Not only is it effort, time and money. It usually takes a LOT more of all of those things!!!

[@grandempressvicky6387]

And some of those men struggle to tell the difference from clean girl and full glam. Very few have seen a girl without make up

[@avavavaa]

@@grandempressvicky6387 Exactly. Any influencer or girl they claim doesn’t wear makeup is always obviously wearing it. I don’t understand how men can’t tell the difference 🤦‍♀️ 😂

[@ShaniaBell]

So true. I used to say men (the manosphere specifically) are lying about not wanting/needing a woman with money and education because without it you probably could depend on your genes to get you by in life. Many women are blessed intellectuals and bombshells. However, Many women need/want to go to the gym, wear makeup, a nice wardrobe and all of that requires money and the higher your degree in school the more money you’re promised to make. They’re expecting “the best” looking women to just be born perfect when in reality maintaining beauty, even natural beauty, is an expensive investment.

[@problemperson4221]

thiiiis lol, and if a girl ACTUALLY shows up with no makeup, shes either not putting in effort, 'let herself go' or sick lmao

[@IzabelaSSilva]

The "clean girl aesthetic" is a direct response to the democratization of makeup in the 2010s. Not only in the price of products, but in techniques. Before social media, that knowledge and universe were purposefully kept from everyone else. Seeing lower classes have access to what originally was a demonstration of wealth is damaging to the maintenance of our class system. The bourgeoisie will continue to invent ways to distinguish themselves... If the "clean girl aesthetic" and body enhancement procedures get democratized enough, they will find another way to not mix themselves with us. Ps: I did stop around the 15 min mark to comment. Ps2: I am not talking here about you that can afford Urban Decay and watch Pixiwoo to learn... I'm talking about big money people. People would hire a private makeup artist to fly around, makeup techniques were kept in a vault from the masses. I'm not denying that makeup is expensive, but my comment is more about structural classism in the beauty industry. The person who can afford MAC and Urban decay is much closer to the person who can only afford NYX than the person who only buys La Mar and La Prairie and walks around with an entourage.

[@tammystiletto]

Oh this is like the whole thing about “don’t wear white after Labor Day” which was originally meant to keep New Money away from Old Money and eventually tricked down to separation from even the middle class and the different races.

[@sarahdemarrero3520]

Absolutely this. You nailed it

[@andoliniknits]

I wish I could like this a million times 🥲

[@bothi00]

Your insight here reminded me of gluttony and being fat as being a sign of privilege and of wealth.

[@helenaap2042]

OMG i literally said this while having a shower convo the other day. SO right

[@paulinagala_]

Literally took me a year of accutane to have "perfect skin." It's so easy to say to "embrace your natural skin" when your skin is already perfect. When my acne was at its worst, I felt so lost trying all these recommended products and nothing working

[@KeyKeyJay]

Ugh I was also on accutane and the times when my acne was bad and I didn’t have foundation on, I would be SO uncomfortable with being seen! After being on accutane for two years, my skin cleared up and I decided to stop wearing make up because it reminded me of those days. I now have what people might call “textured skin” and people would def say I’m “brave” for letting it be seen, but I’m just proud I survived two years of accutane and I don’t feel the need to cover up anymore. “Perfect skin” for ME took years of intense medications (and the access to med care) and even now it’s still not considered “perfect” because I’m not paying for a laser/peel treatment to make it “flawless”!

[@veronis]

It's a privilege to even have access to Accutane, it's really expensive when you count in the monthly blood tests and prescription refills. I just started a new acne treatment for my hormonal acne, and I know that there are people who aren't as fortunate as I and can't afford to see a dermatologist or pay for their prescription. This is literally the fifth time that I'm seeing a derm because none of my past treatments worked, and all it did was waste money.

[@multinsomnia5455]

So relatable!

[@multinsomnia5455]

​@@veronisExactly. I've been thinking of trying Accutane for a long time as I don't really see any improvement with the treatments I've gotten until now... but I can't afford it. I'm still looking for THE solution but I know sometimes there isn't one sooo

[@paulinagala_]

@@veronis oh 100%, it's so expensive. I only did it once I was financially stable, but it took years of bad acne and horrible self esteem. It's not easy to just love yourself as you are when you have acne.

[@babyfairy7562]

I can't remember exactly what the trend was called, but I saw a beauty trend where someone was like "OMG, do you have a witch's side profile or a princess's side profile?!" and then you had to show your side profile and compare it to this photo of two people with different face shapes. I'm not really an expert on sociology and social justice movements, but it felt incredibly racist and anti-Semitic. absolutely despicable what these stupid tiktokers are preaching to their young audiences.

[@louiseerbslisbjerg7854]

The shape and size of the nose was absolutely obe of the nazi's measures for the "clarity" of a bloodline. There are horrible charts displayd as hostorical evidence, in which the criteria for being classified "Jew" or "Pure" is depicted. The worst of eugenics :(

[@Helen-oi7qm]

Hi! I saw an analysis on that exact trend it's called phenology, basically a nazi's idea to excuse their racism :(

[@katgreer6113]

Racist?? What??

[@Helen-oi7qm]

@katgreer6113 basically the witch's side profile has a big nose, protruding chin etc while the princess one looks like it has more white people's characteristics like a small nose and chin.

[@awtumn]

I was so confused with those "side profile" comments and pictures. I never once worried about my side profile. That was until an old friend of mine started mentioning it and bragged about her side profile.

[@rileygruenthal2082]

Clean girl/“natural” aesthetic really reminds me of stealth wealth. Like we’re gonna pay all this money to look like we didn’t pay any money but those who know know 👀

[@emmaphilo4049]

Hahaha well described

[@Wee162]

Except those who indulge in these “enhancements” rarely look natural.

[@MATTELMADE]

I love that people who have never dealt with acne always talk about self acceptance etc. they will literally never understand how hard it is to deal with the scars how it affects your mental state. It’s annoying to be honest

[@hwasassidechick]

And things like acne always come in a package deal of a host of other "flaws", like where tf does it even end???

[@jillsavage2834]

Amen sister. It would be way easier without the scars and constant worry of what’s going to pop up the next morning. Not to mention all the products, appointments, and treatments you go through to hopefully get “okay” skin

[@wisconsieee]

Oh my gosh- thank you for this!! I also feel that dealing with acne leaves you with so many layers of mental baggage, which you can only really understand if you've been through it. I had severe acne from age 11 to 23, and I feel like I'm still unpacking all of the habits, thoughts, and dents it's left in my self-esteem. For example, I've been working for years to undo the constant, nagging feeling that I'm "unclean" or "dirty" (physically and emotionally) no matter what I do, because of the comments that so many people made about my acne. My acne was my "fault", because I was "dirty," "lazy" and my diet was "wrong and unclean" - all this people said to me with confidence when they had no idea how many times I obsessively changed and restricted my diet for the hope of an improvement in my skin, and had an equally obsessive hygiene and skin routine. I feel that with acne, and any other feature/experience which is rejected socially, it all boils down to the ridiculous, medieval notion that somehow things that are "unpalatable" or "ugly" about people's appearances are a reflection of their "inner"/moral "ugliness", "uncleaness" etc. Until people recognise this pattern of thinking in themselves and the ways they judge/treat others, nothing will change - for people dealing with acne or any other trait/experience that doesn't fit the mold.

[@alatimioyake4390]

And hyperpigmentation

[@arissa1762]

i honestly never struggled with acne, but i have really found comfort in the community of people who have and who talk about learning self-love and the like. my stretch marks are worse than almost anyone who i have met irl so far, and my doctor noted their abnormality when i was around twelve years old. turns out, it's likely from EDS, but it doesn't really help me feel better about them. what does, is seeing beautiful people with acne and remembering that scars are normal and actually common during adolescence. my best friend had acne growing up, and i always saw past it, and honestly forgot at times because it'd remind me of freckles. she was very beautiful, and i felt bad, because i never really understood her insecurity surrounding her acne. online, i've learned a lot. xx

[@cosmicnymph6688]

imo the growth of the skincare industry is also because of the fear of aging, which I feel has increased drastically in the past years.

[@mindaurra1525]

This is actually really interesting. I know society has been ageist for a long time but I wonder if there is research on an increased fear of aging? And I wonder why it has increased?

[@cosmicnymph6688]

@@mindaurra1525 yeah, ageism isn't new but recently I've noticed more concern around this topic added to the fact that society is lowering the age of youth, because since when being in your 30 is considered old? ( keep in mind life expectancy in western countries has more than doubled that age). I think that appreciating beauty only through the lens of youth - specifically early 20s - plays a huge role on this issue. I'd also love to read papers on this subject.

[@kelseysbookrecs]

I could never tell if it increased drastically or if I’m noticing it now because I’m older and at the age where that becomes a concern

[@ems6800]

​@@mindaurra1525 it's increased because it's spoken loud on big platforms with huge amount of views. Younger teenage girls are starting their 'anti aging' routines at the age of 13, it gets tons of views, and it just creates more and more concerns and fear about aging among younger generations. Also most skin or wellness influencers always talk about anti aging routines, taking different supplements just to stop it, etc.

[@jmszoom]

I don’t agree with this at all. It’s been in magazines forever, I think the internet has made it more in your face bc we can’t get off of our devices. A comment above brought up how the internet has made makeup and skincare more accessible, and that’s what it is. People are no longer hiding their Botox and filler, while I was growing up in the early 2000’s it was a big secret to get work done. The fear of aging is the exact same as it was before, the internet just made it more accessible therefore people weren’t hiding these procedures anymore and everyone is fighting to get in for their Botox and filler. What has changed is how we view these procedures, not that the fear of aging has gotten worse.

[@_dreamscape]

The body neutrality tip is SO GOOD. I have seen people die in front of me from cancer, with various body functions becoming impossible, I need to remember to be in awe of how my body does give me functioning

[@katgreer6113]

Right. I was never too on board with body positivity, as weird as it sounds.

[@TenderNoodle]

My only issue with body neutrality is, what about people with disabilities and illnesses. What do we get to be “grateful” for when our bodies suck at their job? Should we be grateful for the few things it does right? Because that just kinda gives “don’t complain because it could be worse” energy.

[@user-ie7vo1hj3j]

​@@TenderNoodleI thought body neautrality meant "everything that is "wrong" with my body is not my fault so there is no use in blaming myself for it", not "I shouldn't feel bad bc my body isn't functioning right way"

[@RabbitTeacup]

@@user-ie7vo1hj3j A lot of body neutrality involves "appreciating body for the functional aspects of it" in some aspect, which can be alienating for people with illnesses and disabilities because like, ok but I can't appreciate my muscles for their "functionality" when they're all shooting with crippling pain. For a lot of chronically ill or disabled people the relationship with your own body is different, sometimes your body feels alien from you, like a separate entity. Like I don't hate MYSELF but I do sometimes hate my body because I can't do what I want. It's like if you had someone slapping you with your own hand saying "stop hitting yourself" like, I'm not mad at myself because my own arm is slapping me, I'm mad at the thing making my arm do something I don't want.

[@Shirumoon]

@@user-ie7vo1hj3j I have to second what the other person is saying. All I hear about body neutrality is "be grateful about what your body can do and not how it looks or does not look". While a positive outlook is beneficial for everyone, including disabled people, it still feels tone deaf and of course it's always physically healthy and able people (mostly women) promoting it. If anyone can link me to a disabled body neutralist, I'm totally down to check out their content but I have yet to come across something like that.

[@elleliteracy]

the class dynamics of this is soooo interesting!! the way the obvious construction of beauty (long acrylic nails, heavy makeup, fake eyelashes, obvious hair extensions) was looked down upon until celebs started stealing those trends from black people lol and now that the "clean girl", Old Money, "classy" aesthetic is back en vogue those things are seen as trashy again

[@helenvane]

If we're talking about class, I don't think it ever stopped being trashy though. You'd never see celebs who had a "dignified, classically beautiful" image walk around with a beat face and long acrylics or fake lashes. These conversations about changing beauty standards and socio-economic status are so funny because in the *actual* upper echelons of society (and of course that doesn't include insta-models or hyper-sexual rappers or the Kardashians or whoever), the standard of beauty has been fixed for decades now.

[@tamarasky2043]

It’s so true

[@elisevarnado5819]

But just like anything, they will be back soon. Trends like the 2010s makeup always swing back and forth. Also, during times of recession, the excessive stuff is frowned upon. So it makes sense that the minimalist trends are coming back into style.

[@kaushy]

stealing?

[@thecoolintroverttv8381]

​@kaushy yes because when they did it(Afro Americans) they called it trashy and ghetto but when the Kardashians did it they were called "trend setters"💀 that's what she meant

[@paigedurmis8026]

Something interesting I heard from a beauty influencer based in Korea was that Korea is know for its skin care and people outside Korea think that all Korean people have these elaborate skin care routines and that’s why they have nice skin, but a lot of people also go to dermatologist and get cosmetic treatments, laser treatments for skin texture and acne scaring are becoming popular.

[@cabbage-soup]

i've never heard of korea being known for its skin care before! what i hear is that japan's known for their makeup, china for their photoshopping, and korea for their plastic surgery

[@avavavaa]

A lot of skincare influencers actually promote or talk about korean skincare and how it’s the best. I’m only 1/4 Korean, but my grandma is fully korean and she has gorgeous skin for being 70. what’s her secret? She literally just uses a basic cheap brand cleanser and moisturizer 😂 I think the Korean skincare hype is just another way for people to spend more money on products that might not even work for you. Also aging and wrinkles are pretty genetic, so if an influencer that isn’t prone to lots of wrinkles is obviously going to convince people to buy whatever they promote. Skincare also won’t fix wrinkles if you have unhealthy habits.

[@LotusesGalaxyOcean]

Personally, if anyone feels they must get work done then please go to a reputable clinic in South Korea. The likelihood you will be carelessly botched is far lower. Even dental is not too expensive from my research. Just dear god not Turkey.

[@dongysakura418]

@@avavavaaAsians also age slower than white people. A lot of skincare is a sham and disregards genetics and messes with people

[@noo361]

in my country korean skin care was really popular and you can find etire shelves and areas in stores labeled Korean skin care. I think it was mostly because of kpop idols and how mainstream they became.

[@malorie22]

I knew the natural beauty trend went too far when my sister said I should smile less so I don't get wrinkles lmao

[@namkia205]

That's not even true maybe not open mouth smile but closer mouth smile stretches muscles

[@sodakhanart]

I got that from my sis in law 😩 I was so upset

[@qingxinn_]

​@@namkia205 even so, it doesn't matter if it's an open mouth smile or a closed mouth smile; people should just be able to smile however they want without being judged for wrinkles ^^

[@KirstydePaor]

That’s such a boomer line as well wow.

[@WilliamAfton984]

Got that from my mom 😒

[@heriette]

Regarding dentists: I'm from Czechia, a country with a "socialized healthcare" and it's exactly the same here. My biggest purchase last year was getting root canals fixed on two of my teeth (they were already treated once by my previous dentist, but he did a whack job and they ended up inflammed). It's crazy how dentistry is somehow seen as separate from general healthcare, teeth issues are not just a cosmetic thing, they can have some pretty serious consequences if you don't treat them.

[@mabsie2249]

If your teeth get bad enough, it can lead to heart problems! It’s crazy. I was always just about not poor enough to get an appointment with my dentist via the NHS, and now that I’m back in my home country (good, free healthcare), there’s 0 chance of getting very necessary dental work done because it’s just too expensive. I feel so trapped by it 🥲

[@marni3682]

There's been people that have died from untreated teeth issues. I always say dentist care should always be part of Healthcare. It's just as important

[@ralitsamincheva2292]

It's not just that, the health of your mouth is so important for the health of the rest of your body! Dentists play an important part in detecting oral cancers, TMJ issues and many more. It's as if thinking that dermatology only cares of the beauty of your skin. It doesn't make sense and makes me so frustrated that it's not universally covered

[@krisismav]

working in a dental office, i learned so much about teeth and how it affects your general health. ngl when i first started out, i had trouble remembering to refer to our dentists as "doctor" but theyve more than proven they are exactly that

[@spOOkytimes]

Yep, if you have a tooth ache, go to the dentist. An infected tooth and other dental issues can mess with your literal heart.

[@nathalinda666]

If there's something that really bothers me about beauty and fashion trends is that everything is so cool until it reaches the working class, the moment they have access to it it's just not cool anymore.

[@_voyageuse]

True

[@sadie8834]

Example?

[@alyssarodriguez4041]

Because it takes away the exclusivity, also if everyone was “cool” because everyone from all backgrounds/financial statuses had the same item then it would no longer be cool or an item to want or strive to have. People want things because of the status of exclusivity it comes with. If it’s no longer exclusive it’s just average. So yeah that’s how that works. That’s less about companies and the fashion industry than it is society.

[@padlily2485]

@@sadie8834 thrifting. admitting to buying secondhand clothing was a source of embarrassment, but now it's cool and branded as ethical fashion

[@goblininreallife]

Not far in the video at all as I'm making this comment but I think the whole "clean" look that is incredibly expensive to achieve (and obviously not completely natural in any shape or form) is being pushed as a beauty standard so that rich people can add another bullet point to their "rich people are better than poor people" mindset. Example: "I'm NATURALLY beautiful, I don't need to be wearing all that makeup to be beautiful which means I'm better"

[@goblininreallife]

Oh also that 2016 makeup look was heavily influenced by drag makeup. Which is why it was Like That and didn't really look good unless you were on stage/on camera

[@goblininreallife]

I guess this is just my live reaction comment thread now because I apparently have a LOT of thoughts on this topic lol. 24:32 - you're completely right, and I see this firsthand. My mother is in her mid 50s and while she obviously doesn't look like she's in her 20s anymore, when we are out together she routinely gets mistaken for mid-30s, people think she's my sister. Her skin care routine is literally nothing, her bathroom has one moisturizer I bought her 7 years ago that is half full. Not even a facial cleanser in there. She just doesn't have many wrinkles and has a good amount of buccal fat it's literally just genetics.

[@samanthapateman8054]

I think it’s so rich people can easly spot rich people, when poor people catch up they change the rules again.

[@ummuhkay]

Its not just genetics. Its diet. My skin changed significantly with what i ate

[@chickenisindeedmystyle7316]

But that’s always been the case right? The only ones who did heavy makeup are celebs like kardashians, which are considered trashy by everyone

[@miriamlevenson9430]

beauty trends, especially those nose and forehead and cheekbone and whatever trends on tiktok, are really just turning in eugenics promotion. it’s sickening, but i’ll be trying to love my long bumpy nose anyways bc who cares 💞

[@mkmason7727]

I’m not on tik tok and I’m always so fascinated when i hear about the horrors it produces so efficiently

[@abigaelrarts2257]

i'm a bit older now and always haaated my nose when i was younger, and my advice is keep not caring bc you care so much less about it over time. also make sure you look at your side profile when u look in a mirror and your brain will get used to knowing what you look like so it doesn't feel so alien anymore. what also helped me not care is to remember how little i care about other peoples' noses too! if u keep your hygiene strong, have style and behave kindly, noone cares about the intricacies of our faces anyway, they remember how we are in interactions far more. so keep on not caring, it gets so much easier as you get older :)

[@girlnxtdoor333]

@@abigaelrarts2257 as someone who is currently struggling with accepting their side profile i want to say thank you!! this advice is really genuine and it somehow made me feel a bit better about my appearance 🤍

[@haleylquinton]

YES I see it a lot online... women who are like "I don't wear makeup" and make it their entire personality but they're getting botox, lash extensions, lash tint, micro blading, lip injections and tint.... like yeah, I wouldn't ever wear mascara if I spent $150 every six weeks for a lash lift and tint either but here we are.

[@got2bekd]

Mascara is so much cheaper and looks the same... if not, better!

[@precioushyacinthasor4382]

What is so sinister about this trend is the social narrative ingrained in it. Beauty or the pursuit of it in any shape or form has been seen as necessary to land a job, to be successful in romance, and even to simply be respected. To exist you MUST be beautiful and submit to these trends.

[@lollabunyxxx]

this!!! I'm 16y non-attractive girl and the way I'm treated by people (boys and girls!!!) in comparison to my pretty friends makes me sad people don't include me unless i remember them I'm there. they'll talk over me or the whole classroom will juat look bored if I'm answering the teacher, while other people get full classroom reactions etc... and it doesn't help that im also "weird" (social-anxiety) it makes so depressed, like what's the point of living if you're not pretty and desired as girl/woman

[@avavavaa]

@@lollabunyxxx I graduated last year but that’s EXACTLY how my high school experience was! I know that I am attractive, but I also have horrible social anxiety too, and adhd. At school and in my own friend group, sometimes people like to joke and say “i forgot you were here” at it feels like a stab in the heart. Like am I not interesting enough for you to remember that you’re sitting right next to me! Or when you’re standing in a group and everyone pushes you out and stand in front of you🥲

[@catherineclaire7429]

@@lollabunyxxx I understand how you feel, but trust me there is a lot worth living for that has nothing to do with being desired. Please keep your chin up. People often suck. Being a teenager is hard, especially if you don't feel like you fit in anywhere. You have tremendous value though, I promise. You have something unique to offer the world. Please continue to grow and figure out what that is. Even a long life is short. It's worth it to live. Hope you'll be in a much better place mentally soon. Hugs.

[@mfuentes4961]

I feel like no matter what, the idea of what is considered to beautiful/attractive in society is always changing and will always be unattainable because it’s profitable for beauty and social media corporations.

[@elodie4629]

ayesha of grapevine used to always say "beauty is a bad investment for women." which is so true. it's an ever moving target that you will never land on for any amount of significant time.

[@WhitneyDahlin]

Personally I'm glad people are getting rid of foundation! My husband convinced me at to stop wearing foundation like 6 years ago before we were married and I did and my face like immediately cleared up. My skin has been literally perfect since then and I just spend that money on skincare products instead. Skincare is definitely a hobby for me. I enjoy it it's part of my personal self care routine and I feel like a lot of women are like that! They're doing the routine for themselves because they like to feel pampered. Versus anything society is saying. But I really am glad foundation is going out of style. The vast majority of women who wear foundation genuinely don't need to be wearing it.

[@Shirumoon]

@@WhitneyDahlin Well, that's a quite bad take that it's foundation and skincare making your skin bad. I believe that that's been the case for you but I hear this always from men and generally as a somewhat anti feminist take. I started wearing make up to HIDE my awful skin which got bad way before I touched any make up product or skincare. Today, 15 years later, I clean my make up products as I learned in my MUA training and never break out after wearing foundation. Maybe people aren't cleaning their brushes and everything properly but foundation is not supposed to make your skin worse.

[@avavavaa]

@@Shirumoon That does makes sense. Some people might just be prone to breaking out tho.

[@LItachi-ch5sx]

​@@Shirumoonyeah, it's literally rhetoric of make up is toxic and that crunchy natural mum to right wing pipeline 😂 Foundation won't make your skin issues worse, it doesn't have any impact on any of that, unless you are allergic or somehow break out prone and not washing your shit as you said. My makeup never broke me out

[@helenaap2042]

The reason why 2010’s makeup was more accesible was that PUTTING PAINT on your face IS and will always BE MORE ACCESIBLE than having nice looking parents and money to do cosmetic procedures. Going away from “glam” and ostentatiousness does not mean class is not at the forefront of beauty standards.

[@hannaht.2905]

my problem is with our fixation on beauty. like, can we please agree that not everything is and has to be beautiful?! especially considering that beauty is just insanely subjective. something you find ugly may be the prettiest thing someonelse has ever seen

[@MMK-vq7tq]

Exactly. There’s got to be more to life than this. Kill me now otherwise because GAWD what a pointless existence

[@annac6457]

The problem is that even people who say those things (beauty doesn't matter blah blah) become biased when they see something/someone conventionally beautiful :/ it's rooted in humans

[@fran791]

​@@annac6457it makes me think about those weston price studies about pre agricultural tribes. All the tribal people had objectively healthy looking and beautiful faces with straight teeth while the europeans and americans had crooked teeth and facial deformities. Imagine if we actually ate according to our natural human diet, we would all be objectively beautiful

[@annac6457]

@@fran791 Some people definitely get "hotter" after losing weight and/or eating healthier but it will still be very hard for them to meet the media standard without surgery or cosmetic procedures.

[@greentearain]

beaty will always be one of the most desirable thing for humans, it's in our DNA.

[@GeorgeGlass298]

As a woman that is almost 50 I can assure you getting older is amazing. Once you hit 40 you just don't give a f*CK anymore what anyone thinks about you. I wish when I was in my '20s I felt the way I do in my 40s about not caring what anybody thinks. I wasted so much time worrying about my appearance. Getting old is amazing and I can finally afford all the stuff I couldn't in my twenties.

[@GoaWay...]

Unfortunately, that isn't true. Most women will always care regardless of age. If they didn't, they wouldn't get certain skin care & surgical procedures done, buy skin care(anti-aging), or low-key brag about looking years younger than their actual age. You wouldn't do things like that if you didn't still care. I'm saying that and I am in my 40s. A lot of the time, it's not just about the looks. Some people(even men) just always care about what others think of them regardless of their age, and regardless of what it's about. It could be how they look, how much money they have, their status, the car they drive, who they are in relationships with or what they do for a living, and etc etc. Most just never stop caring.

[@gwennorthcutt421]

im only in my 30s but i feel this way already... being older is such a gift, you just keep getting more polished with age!

[@juliawidmaier5334]

29 and just beginning to get into this stage of feeling. Very happy for you!

[@GraduateJLN]

@@GoaWay...Damn you sound like a hater, misery loves company🤦🏽‍♀️

[@GoaWay...]

@@GraduateJLN Damn, you sound like a terrible person who makes random assumptions about people you don't know. That's a miserable person. How am I a hater btw? I was telling the truth. A lot of us, we unfortunately still do care, and most will never stop caring. I am speaking from personal experience, and from what I see & hear. As a person who looks younger than her actual age, and has low-key bragged about it as well, as a person who lives with someone who low key brags about how good they look, and the people she deals with do it to, until they don't get along for vain reasons. As a person who other girls didn't like because my hair was longer than theirs or because they thought I was cuter than them. So yeah, I will say it again, most women will never stop caring about how they look or what people think of them no matter how old they get. That is a fact. That's not hating that's just the truth.

[@pratfallpratt8998]

I think what really bothers me most about the ageism in skincare is that they don't even treat looking older as a sin, if you look even close to your actual age you're somehow failing. There's this bizarre expectation that you're only doing it right if you look 10 years younger. Which is absolutely insane. Not only is it an unrealistic and insane standard to try to meet but it's turning reality into something you're supposed to battle with a fortune in products and a skincare fridge. Same with things like "strawberry skin". Most of the time it's just keratosis pilaris, a completely benign and painless buildup of keratin in hair follicles. There's no cure or prevention, it just happens for some people, and if we weren't being fed this myth that you need flawless skin to be healthy and beautiful then no one would need to spend hundreds on lotions and exfoliators to get rid of it.

[@mekaylanicolai54]

I think another weird thing we’ve done is praise “unproblematic” celebrities who don’t age, and then say that not ageing is a result of them being unproblematic. It’s just keeps the cycle of ugly=bad going :/

[@TenderNoodle]

YES! One of the worst things about the beauty industry and skincare in particular is to make completely harmless and natural occurrences on the face and body “pesky imperfections” or “conditions” when they are nothing of the sort. Hair, wrinkles, large pores, sebum, dark circles, pigmentation, the list goes on forever!!

[@grandempressvicky6387]

​@@mekaylanicolai54it's like we've regressed in this regard. Gen Z and Millennials were the generations who grew up being told that beauty isn't everything. We watched so many films and TV shows where the good looking man or women had an ugly personality. But that lesson didn't seem to stick and we're just as superficial as our Gen X/Boomer elders.

[@hwasassidechick]

I have KP, and I don't remember the last time I was confident enough to wear a short sleeved tshirt outside. Mainly because when I did as a child, girls would look at my arms and go "EWWW, WHAT IS THAT??". And at that time I didn't even know what it was myself, so I just used to laugh it off and internally feel disgusted with my own skin. I do know now that it's KP, that's it's genetic, and has virtually no "cure", but that fear of people noticing it and being appalled still hasn't gone away. One girl in 12th grade noticed it during PE, and I started explaining to her what it was and she just made a nasty face, and said "it looks disgusting though", and moved on like she didn't just hammer in an already bone-deep insecurity into my head. Gotta love people not being able to stand normal, harmless fucking things. Sorry I went on a rant but nobody mentions KP when it comes to this stuff, and your comment just brought out that urge to vent lol. I 100% agree with everything you said, I wish more people thought the way this comment section does.

[@goodmorning2386]

@@hwasassidechickyeah :( I have KP too It’d be nice if people would normalise KP more, since it’s pretty common, and harmless, and genetic

[@tamarasky2043]

I can relate I can’t afford to be beautiful. Make up is so expensive, trying to eat healthy and go to the gym and hire a trainer. It really is a privilege to buy beauty

[@dreamg1rlevil]

not related to the topic, but if that is you in your profile picture, you are very pretty! 😊

[@t-pain1827]

Tamara you are already stunning! Those things do not make you happy or beautiful, trust.

[@maja0247]

You don't need a trainer tho

[@grandempressvicky6387]

​@@maja0247it does make training more efficient and productive. It can be as minor as making sure you don't hurt yourself or personalising a training regiment

[@Andrea-pr7wo]

​@@grandempressvicky6387yeah but you don't need one. It may be more difficult and take more time but you can do it alone.

[@Helcaloth]

The whole concept of cosmetic veneers is absolutely WILD to me!? The thought of ruining healthy teeth for life to put temporary "perfect" fakes on top?? Terrifying tbh

[@Notincritical]

Some people actually have ugly teeth and need it

[@mysticwolf46]

​@@Notincritical braces exist 🤦🏾‍♀️

[@lena_lazuli]

​@mysticwolf46 some people have bad frontal cavities or other damage to their front/prominent teeth (imagine chipped in half, etc.) and veneers basically makes your teeth look normal again. I dont know why people would get it without extensive damage though, like just bc of 'yellowing' or whatnot. Thats when it seems wasteful.

[@mysticwolf46]

@@lena_lazuli can't you chipped teeth filled?

[@lena_lazuli]

@mysticwolf46 cavities are filled, I'm pretty sure chipped teeth are molded/bonded with the og missing parts of the tooth or another composite material. Sometimes it's successful but in a lot of cases esp if it's an extreme chip, the area where it's bonded will be a bit obvious with e.g. colour fades.

[@singularity___]

The "clean girl" aesthetic makes me feel more out of place than ever. I've always been a makeup lover and felt so much less shame for awhile when there was push back against the whole "take her swimming on the first date" mentality and an embrace of glam/artistic expression, only to see us now get to a point where, if you wear foundation, you're perceived to be insecure. It feels a bit like capitulation to the idea that you're not "actually pretty" if you're not flawless without makeup, that beauty isn't legitimate if it doesn't at least have the illusion of being natural.

[@phoenixfritzinger9185]

I did synchronized swimming, hold my gelatin packets

[@anakarina1011]

I feel you- I have all this makeup and seems like no one appreciates a good beat anymore 😅(I’m still doing it tho)

[@Shirumoon]

@@anakarina1011 I will be fucking r e a d y once full glam gets back into trend. Remember, we just have to be patient. And with how much shorter trend cycles are getting, I'm confident for us. Fingers crossed haha

[@qqqqqqqqqqqqqq7665]

⁠​⁠@@anakarina1011there’s a loooot of ppl who like a full face of make up. Look at the Latina makeup trend. I see a lot of ppl on tiktok wearing this makeup style.

[@Kat-zx1pj]

I do clean girl make up all my life becouse that fits best my face and personality. I always admire glam look on other women though. It's unhealthy to bend to every trend. If you are "glam girl" do glam all the time.

[@justabitofamug6989]

I don't know if you've seen those "Chav makeup" videos on tik tok that is just such obvious classism. Now doing lots of makeup is seen as trashy and lower class

[@geko9214]

I think thats a stretch lol

[@gwynethvictoria4398]

I really don't think it's a stretch. I think it's spot on

[@NoOne-kz1pj]

I never used to care about the bump on my nose. Even when someone commented on it in middle school, I still didn’t care. These past few months it’s the only thing I really think about. I don’t even know how I got here.

[@Helen-oi7qm]

I'm so sorry :( I have a big nose, not a bump, i like to think that my parents gifted it to me, idk if it helps

[@EmL-kg5gn]

I’m so sorry 😞 It sucks when one of your features becomes the latest feature to get hated on. I’m not sure what works for you, but spite has actually been really good for my body image. When I think about the racism and misogyny behind beauty trends and all the men at the top of beauty companies profiting off of making us feel bad I get so mad that I no longer care if I feel insecure, no way in hell I’m letting them profit off me!!! And also I learnt the hard way with my widow’s peak, it was such a big insecurity that I intentionally gave myself traction alopecia to get rid of it and now I really regret it. The only way for me to get it back would be a hair transplant, which is a whole process and it’s so expensive. Realistically I’ll never be able to get it back. I don’t know if I’ll ever feel totally like myself when I look in the mirror again

[@pinklov4447]

beauty trends are just that. a trend. the love for small noses is a very Eurocentric standard. there's so much beauty in different nose types, and I wish people would see just how subjective beauty is. I bet u look great. all my family has big noses and I hate how mean they are to themselves bcs I wish they could see what I see when I look at them. diversity in humans is great; I love seeing all the different ways in which people can be beautiful. one tip I have for anyone whos feeling insecure about a certain feature: go search up people/celebrities with those similar features; I think this works bcs it's easier to see the beauty in other people compared to seeing it in ourselves. and having more exposure to people who look more like yourself is healthy and can help you normalise your features. sending love to u and I hope u can see the beauty in u too some day

[@ellawishful]

As someone else said, it’s just a trend. I actually like bumpy noses and large noses, especially aquiline noses. Also, if you fixate on a feature on your face, it will become all you see.

[@RockingNeverland_]

I have a crooked and bigger nose, I always wanted surgery until one night I dreamed I had that surgery but didn't like the outcome. That's when that wish died lol Embrace your unique nose, it's your ancestor's nose, not a surgeon's. Wear it with confidence and you might even start to like it

[@asukalangleysoryu8449]

your comment about “i would rather be told to be unhappy with my appearance than be told to love myself while being told what’s wrong with it” made more sense to me than i expected.

[@tinypipsqueak]

this is why i love alt/emo makeup. it had never tried to look « i woke up like this » natural. everything is on the table.

[@goodmorning2386]

Same here, and at least for me, a lot of alt fashion and makeup really feels like it’s art and self expression

[@shanelclark2949]

@@goodmorning2386YES. You just took the words right out of my head. I was watching this video and contemplating where do I fall on this trend spectrum because I don’t wear foundation, but I still use primer, wear sharp eyeliner with the classic 90s black/latina brows and the 2000s black lip liner with brown lipstick combo. It’s irrelevant because for the emo/alt style and black/latina style makeup, it’s all on the table because it is quite literally just self expression!

[@gwennorthcutt421]

i just got into makeup this year, and i love the more drag/costume looks! because if im gonna wear makeup i want it to be noticeable and artistic. ive got a rainbow of lipsticks i love! i dont wear foundation bc its too much work for something i dont care about. maybe a little contouring to make me look more masc or emphasize my roundness. ...that said i also have pretty clear skin so i dont "have" to cover up. i understand why people would wear foundation, but since i dont "need" to, i dont. simple as that.

[@enviisyk]

relating to this, I have a theory that one of the reasons heavy trad-goth makeup is becoming popular again is to rebel against the clean-girl "natural" look

[@giselletorres4156]

Not even in the alt. community you're safe, there's still that preference to being sickly thin and pale

[@meganwilson8601]

Honestly, I personally am so confused by people saying no one needs to wear foundation anymore since the pandemic. I have always had clear skin, but now even I’m terrified going outside without any makeup because I feel everyone else somehow started looking better and I got worse. Style, weight, skin, all of it. Like I missed something everyone else figured out. Always vaguely terrified that today’s the day someone records me to make fun of on tiktok…And I don’t even have tiktok!

[@crazylatingirl94]

I feel you on the tiktok thing. I've never really had clear skin but as an adult I don't really care as much about it just want me skin to feel healthy. but I barely go outside and I feel a knot in my stomach when I see kids/people recording around me. I also feel like I got left behind somewhere and I'm okay with it... as long as I don't go outside 😅

[@rewdskwid]

Ugh same on the tiktok thing. My coworkers filmed a girl with autism, making fun of her for not keeping up and trying to get her fired. I was disgusted and quit right there.

[@awtumn]

⁠@@rewdskwidWhat the hell!? That's awful. Your coworkers are disgusting!

[@LJYU333]

@@rewdskwidthat’s awful

[@qqqqqqqqqqqqqq7665]

⁠​⁠​⁠@@rewdskwidthat’s why we have Datenschutz in Germany. You can get sued for filming someone and posting it without their permission.

[@rachel5305]

It's so nice to hear someone talk about their eczema 😭😭😭 I have also struggled with acne and eczema, and yes the eyelids make is IMPOSSIBLE to wear makeup, so frustrating, but sometimes my eyelids are SO red from irritation that people think I'm wearing red eyeshadow

[@lilithdotranto9266]

I've also been asked what my "very beautiful makeup" was once.. Turned out my cream for eczema on the eyes, combined with redness, apparently looked like I had put some kind of glowy makeup... No ma'am, no makeup, my eyelids are just itchy, swollen and creamy 😂

[@onipot9639]

I had very severe eczema everywhere for a few years, my tips won't necessarily help you as it is sooo different for everyone but after really severe ezcema for soo many years I want to share what advice I have - my biggest tips is go to your GP and use the steroid creams they provide, as in instructed - about 20 mins after a separate moisturiser, if they don't work ask for different ones. They come in both cream form and Emollient form, I prefer the latter as they are richer, oilier and more soothing. If it is infected or VERY inflamed you may need other ones that are specific for treating infected eczema. My favourite for flare ups is Emuvate, but again this will really vary. For eyelids I would only use hydrocortosone, but use it sparingly as needed, and do not get steriods in your eye, don'y use stronger ones without GP guidance. I also found that many emollients provided by GP made my skin worse, but the one that works very well for me is DoubleBase. I also found that Avene and La Roche Posay were great for facial moisturisers (a product called Cicaplast by them is great for itchy skin patches), I would use Cicaplast for my eyes especially when they were inflamed, - also good for shaving rash if you do/ are even able to shave - at many points mine was soo bad I couldnt shave any body hair. Next, I would suggest allergy testing and even if there is no clear allergy other than the usual (dust etc) you might find Antihistamines help, I have prescription ones, but bare in mind they can make you DROWSY. Supposedly the help they offer is debated - but they will stop you from scratching as much at night ( so will cotton gloves if you need them). Finally - one of the biggest game changers was Antidepressants for me, having good stress manegment was vital ( although this is obviously tough when your skin is itchy and painful lol ) whatever that means for you, ( yoga, meditation, a change in career, therapy, antidepressants, getting out of harmful situations etc) try to pursue that, as your emotional wellbeing might also be contributing to your skin irritation. 'Stress-Eczema' isn't a myth it is actually a fairly common occurrence and my GP even claims to be able to spot it as a 'specific type' due to the areas of flare up and the patterns of scratching etc. ( Obviously this is more his own intuitive experience than medical fact so take that as you will) . - But the main takeaway is that you are beautiful regardless and worthy of love

[@janellelives5158]

I used to have terrible eczema too. I hope things eventually get better for you!

[@anny_draws3023]

Lol my Mom Always thought I was wearing dark Brown eyeshadow but those were my eyebags lmaoooo

[@sapphic.flower]

I have ADHD, I have a hard time taking care of myself at all and my skin doesn’t get to be the priority. Washing my face with a damp cloth is usually the best I can do. Sometimes I have to eat food bad for my skin or else I won’t eat at all. I’d still sleep on a dirty pillow case because I don’t have the energy or thought to replace it. Sometimes I go straight to bed because I feel exhausted and that means skipping washing my face on top of showering, brushing my teeth, etc. The age of skincare we’re in now has been aggravating me because it doubles down the expectation to have clean skin and things like acne, wrinkles, dry skin, and so on feel far more shunned because we developed this idea it’s easily avoidable with just a good enough routine that “anybody can do”. It makes me feel exposed or shamed and I hate how people give unsolicited advice like acne can’t just simply exist.

[@rubycubez1103]

I understand...I get to that point often too. It's debilitating and many ppl don't get it. When I don't have the energy to even wash my face, I use hydrogen peroxide on a cotton ball/ round. I have sensitive skin and dermatitis. It calms any possible breakouts and wipes away the dirt. I then used like a hydrocortisone cream after to prevent any dryness. It helps me. This routine is usually done before my last pee break before bed so I hit the main points before I lay down. The littlest things can be very draining...even drinking water becomes annoying. I'm sorry you're going through that.

[@EmL-kg5gn]

I have adhd and your comment just reminded me I forgot to eat lunch because I got hyperfocused on this topic. For days I’ve literally been forgetting to dry my hands after I wash them and having to go back when I realise and then clean up whatever I got wet 🤦🏼‍♀️ That’s a habit I’ve done many times a day my entire life!!!!!! I grew up around a few nurses, and they were nurses before the hand sanitisers and gloves got put everywhere in hospitals. They’re serious about hand washing! So I’m vigilant about every aspect too, including drying. Evidently it doesn’t prevent me from messing it up 🤷🏼‍♀️ My partner didn’t even realise drying hands counted as a habit because for him, like other nts, habits are actually fairly automatic. Unless he’s really tired. Then he’s like me on a good day 😂 I’m so annoyed, I’ve only just fixed my dental hygiene habits after my fatigue messed them up. I genuinely love skincare for sensory reasons and the scientific side but I’ll never be truly consistent and it can’t be a priority when more important habits are always falling apart. It feels like so many things can be helped with one simple routine, but that’s like the main thing we can’t do 😔 After all my efforts with routines the only improvement is that I’m really good at simplifying and streamlining routines for other people 🙃 It’s a struggle

[@EmL-kg5gn]

Actually no, there has been an improvement! All the walking back and forth I have to do while I attempt to do my various routines in order is probably what’s keeping my mobility intact. Now that my fatigue keeps me home so much it’s one of my main forms of exercise 🤣

[@markigirl2757]

Sameee I try to take showers so I can at least remember to wash my face but there are times I hyper focus and don’t 😅

[@jessicaharrison4719]

​@@markigirl2757Yes, I have a gel cleanser in my shower so if I am exhausted I can just put a shower cap on, quick shower and wash my face, and by the time I do that, just slapping on the rest of my skin care routine is easy enough to do. Starting things is often the hardest for me.

[@emmybeffer]

This also reminds me of the different expectations for women's bodies. There has always been trends on how to achieve a fashionable silhouette, but historically women have been able to achieve it through foundation garments (this isn't to say that all women could achieve these silhouettes, but that there was more wiggle room for padding, shaping, etc) (and of course it was expensive to get the fashionable clothes) However, after those garments went out of fashion, women were expected to simply HAVE the fashionable body. There was no room for illusions. You either had it or you didn't. I would never want to wear a stay or padding, but leaving those garments behind isn't quite the win we think it is. Instead of having some padding around your bust and hips, you are now expected to look that way naturally. Then, when the fashions change and thin bodies are more fashionable, those same women are expected to just have that body. Skincare reminds me of this a lot. Sure, I don't want to wear a full coverage foundation, but I am STILL expected to have flawless skin. Its giving less room for illusion. Instead of overdrawing your lips, you are expected just to have those lips. I don't want to be expected to spend 2 hours on my makeup every day, but I also don't want to be expected to look 20 years old till I'm 60. It would be wonderful if women could simply exist without being constantly scrutinized.

[@jadesfromjupiter7780]

so so so true!! i am sick and tired of being under so much pressure.

[@phoenixfritzinger9185]

The foundation garments are kinda still around but they’re all just elastic and plastic crap that breaks after a couple of wears like I wouldn’t even wish having to go pee while you’re wearing a SPANX on my worst enemy And don’t even get me started on the endless stream of spandex “waist trainers” and foam rubber butt pads that piled up in the lingerie section of the outlet store that I used to work at. It was all just plastic garbage. Like people were expecting to be able to get the full corset and bustle effect with single layer of spandex from Aliexpress quality

[@HereIAm247]

Very true. They say the current beauty standard is the most 'natural' ever. But honestly, I think it is actually the hardest in history to actually achieve. Because the expectation is a higher level of beauty than is humanly possible (because we constantly see photoshopped models everywhere), but we are supposed to look like that without using any visible tools.

[@palasiksivain]

24:20 have to comment on the genetics thing: i was first diagnosed with cystic acne when i was five years old. it runs in my mother's family, my uncle had really bad acne, so did a few of my cousins. the amount of trauma i have surrounding my acne is insane, because people just would not stop treating me like i was below human, disgusting, dirty, unhygienic, and filthy. i've been through the max amount of accutane treatments, paid hundreds of euros for dermatologist visits, i've done it all - and my acne will never go away. it's all because of my genes, it's a genetic skin condition that can't be permanently cured. we have to stop treating acne as if it's a self-inflicted thing, especially in cases that are purely genetic. stop blaming others for having certain genes lmao, that is so fucking weird.

[@s.muneeba3944]

The world is a horrible place where people say cruel things without a second thought or to just fit in with their peers. Just know that those people are not worth your time. Think of the times when people or friends in your life are laughin at ur jokes, enjoying your company, giving you gifts, saying thank you for helping them. Think of those people. Because they do not consider physical beauty as being a factor to choosing who they want to hang out with. There are still nice people who dont make every conversation about beauty, looks, perfection. They may not be considered the 'coolest' in the environment you're in, but trust me they are the ones who will make your life full. I love you so much and I hope you love yourself just the way you are. I know its so so SO damn hard. But you're strong and beautiful and only people who are worthy will see it. (Plus think of the last time you met someone who fit the beauty standard and was absolutely perfect but as soon as they start talking, you can't, for the life of you, bring yourself into finding them attractive anymore). As someone who struggled with insane cystic acne and would just not go to uni or social events just coz i didnt like the way I looked, I want to say that your skin does not define you. Its so hurtful and painful but people who treat you exactly the same with or without the makeup to cover up your face are the ones who will help you in your journey in loving yourself and are the ones who will stick with you no matter what. You are not alone. Dont ever forget that. From me to you, you're worth it girl!

[@soupisgood_2080]

​@@zogwort1522what the fuck

[@sarajoanna1618]

Same girl I feel you ❤

[@sarajoanna1618]

People would approach me and tell me to wash my face as if I had acne because Im dirty

[@imjustvisiting5397]

It’s not just skin. Even facial features and harmony that people have no control over are being confused with “natural beauty.” Not everyone can be naturally beautiful. The golden ratio faces of models were determined at conception by chromosomes, not by some fleeting aesthetic.

[@dmb1745]

And, in the case of Bella Hadid, lots and lots of plastic surgery

[@TaraMooknee]

hearing you say that body neutrality helped you like your nose warmed my heart💗

[@lindenshepherd6085]

Love to see you here, Tara!

[@marvin2678]

No one Cares

[@marvin2678]

​@lindenshepherd6085 haha no

[@VioletaValderasFuster]

I don't think the problem is with beauty being expensive: it always has and always will be. I think the problem is there being a need to be beautiful in the first place and having a constant reminder everywhere, on ads, on tiktoks, on tv that to be beautiful is to be valued and to have attention. Its so sad.

[@manuuyt5919]

Yes! And if you say "I am not beautiful" , people automatically think you have low self esteem because they think you can only like yourself if you also think your looks are great. Beauty is seen as this trait that everyone should have whilst being an elusive thing to actually be able to obtain

[@Meirins]

@@manuuyt5919well put 👍🏻

[@tfkdandsvkc]

Beauty is placed as the value of women in society with beautiful women being highly valued while ugly women being rejected and treated like outcasts it's the core system of Patriarchy to put the value of women on beauty,patriarchy causes toxic beauty standards and promote this toxicity everywhere it's time for beauty to stop being valued and to value life more than superficial beauty which everyone looses with time

[@chandonkey-kong9744]

i was wondering when someone was going to talk about how many companies are trying to act like these incredibly long skincare routines are about "self-care" and taking time for yourself. I mean for god's sake, I just got a starbust ad saying "pink stands for self worth!" like girl what

[@jdmccoy1999]

I’m a 52 year old woman, I hope all the young women reading this will love and own their unique beauty. You don’t need to follow trends to be beautiful. YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL NOW, just as you are. You’ll never stand out and shine if you look like everyone else in the crowd. Treat yourself with love and eat clean, exercise, and stay out of the sun. Don’t binge drink or use unnecessary drugs. Some things I learned that I wish I could go back and tell myself is this: Your worst enemy is your own mind. You are more beautiful then you realize and you will never be as young as you are right now, so enjoy it. Hair chemicals will destroy your real hair. Hiding your skin under makeup all the time makes your skin suffocate. Stress will make you sick, angry, and ugly so learn quickly how to love yourself and go with the flow. Good people love you for who you are, not how you look so choose your company wisely. I love all you beautiful young ladies and my heart aches that this cycle of beauty abuse continues with social media and marketing. Just look at yourself in the mirror and tell yourself that you deserve better than being told what to look like. You’re all wonderful just as you are. I wish I could hug every one of you. ❤ 🌻

[@dalailarose1596]

My hair is 3 ft long & bright unnatural red, & it's still very healthy, so dye your hair if you want to, just be careful. If you want to dye it a lot, you can keep it short. I get that your heart is in the right place, you seem very kind, but you're still encouraging young women to focus on their external appearance. Decentralize beauty; there's nothing actually wrong with "ugly". Food isn't "clean" or "dirty", that's an eating disorder talking. Focus on nutritients & moving your body in ways that feel good. Being a little overweight can help you look younger because you have fat on your face to stretch your wrinkles. But yeah, the sun is the enemy. No such thing as a "safe" tan. & cigarettes are just as bad for the skin. If you won't quit for your lungs, do it for vanity.

[@lurategh]

@@dalailarose1596 I don't necessarily see op's comment as still focusing on external beauty but rather overall health. Everything she mentioned are pretty ubiquitous and sensible health tips. But I do agree there's nothing wrong with not being beautiful. Being plain or unattractive should be okay. Besides, beauty really is in the eye of the beholder.

[@janajohannaa]

@@dalailarose1596Right i found her comment soooo triggering because there’s no good or bad food food is just food and it was a very disordered thought ..

[@marvin2678]

Cope😂

[@karlaluna7442]

Thanks ❤

[@abigailgnome2117]

“Girls who aren’t even women yet are already dreading getting older” holy shit what a heartbreaking statement - and so well-said!

[@carolinatorres7575]

Thats why i wear makeup, people treat you differently when they dont find you attractive (even subconsciously). Ive been there as well and it hurts. I wear a full face of makeup and still look average.

[@annac6457]

Yes. I know beauty can attract creeps and ill intentioned people, but people who really care about their looks ARE TREATED BETTER by men and women.

[@alatimioyake4390]

I get treated better when I wear makeup. Since I have been more boys have been coming up to me. I also look 4 years younger without it. After covid, I mastered the art of full glam

[@ohitsclemenTIME]

I'm literally only 29 and I already get treated like I'm literally ancient. I would love for you to do a more in depth video about the rampant ageism specifically as it relates to women.

[@joylox]

I'm only a few years younger, and I struggle to get taken seriously. I don't wear makeup often, so I tend to get mistaken for being a teen, and in my field, I just don't have the years of experience needed, especially as it's even harder to get taken seriously in anything technology related if you're not an old white dude, or an Indian man.

[@SilverGreenEyes18]

​@@joyloxyou have it easy, you work with guys that simp for you. Try working with menopausal women, they would tear you into pieces or just treat you as less than

[@sofia-qv7de]

​@@SilverGreenEyes18 You don't know if she fits conventional standards of beauty, and as the woman in this video says, women who aren't considered groomed or beautiful are discriminated against in workplaces. Also you ignore how difficult it can be for women to succeed in the tech industry, as it is such a male dominated field; if anything, men simp for one another. Finally, maybe menopausal women have treated you as less than. If so, I'm sorry you experienced that. But menopausal women don't hold significant positions of power in the tech industry, as is the case with many other male-dominated or recently integrated industries. So, no, I don't think that women have it easier when it comes to gendered discrimination!

[@SilverGreenEyes18]

@@sofia-qv7de women in male- dominated places like tech industry can get away with anything bc they are women. They cannot get fired bc of gender ratio and the guys all simp. If there are older/ uglier women there, they will have to live with the fact that they are invisible thanks to you and will make your life hell. But not if you are feminine and cute, guys are inclined to help women Sure,if you got masculine energy then you will fight with the guys but that's the wrong approach. I have worked in male- dominated and in female- dominated places, and I can tell you I only had problem with females in BOTH. Women who work in male- dominated places can get very TERRITORIAL when a new(hotter)woman comes along

[@cecehowl]

I’m 31 and I’ve never been treated that way. I’ve gotten a lot of respect from younger people, and it’s actually older people who are more rude. I also get mistaken for being much younger than I am though. I just met my husband’s grandparents a few weeks ago and his grandfather thought I was 18 lmao. I do however get mistreated by people that are older than me, or people who think they’re older than me until they find out my actual age. Still ageism, but only because they think I’m younger.

[@ff_m3570]

The weirdest thing for me in this ‘love your natural skin’ trend is people faking freckles using sprays or henna. I mean I agree that freckles are cute but if you don’t really have it and you’re just manually recreating it then that’s not really loving your skin 😂

[@fran791]

Bruh in my city girls are PERMANENTLY TATTOOING freckles on their faces, shit's insane

[@clairemacphee4273]

@@fran791 i'm gonna do this bc i have freckles on my body but not my face bc of sunscreen xD maybe some of these girls miss their natural freckles while trying to protect themselves from the sun?

[@schokoala2357]

According to this logic, it would mean that no one who uses makeup loves their skin. If your eyes aren't naturally large, don't use eyeliner. If your eyelashes aren't naturally long, don't use mascara. Also, please don't use lipstick if you don't have naturally full or red lips. I mean, honestly, what's the difference between fake freckles or a fake eyeline? We are just more used to pretend to have Cateyes or whatever, than to have freckles. That's all.

[@charlotteb1525]

absolutely adore seeing Jordan say she is hot and sexy bc she is!! and now she knows it!!! character growth xx

[@sincerely3203]

I have been struggling with severe acne for years (genetics screwed me over) and the whole clean girl makeup and the facade of accepting imperfect skin really irritates me!! Idk, it’s a struggle to not feel like your skin is too ‘dirty’ to follow this makeup trend when you’re flooded with influencers with perfect skin talking about how they ONLY wear skin tint

[@iceunelle]

Ugh, I absolutely hate the "clean girl" trend. I had cystic acne for 8 years and only got it under control with birth control last year. People have literally told me I look better with makeup vs. not because of my acne. I could never fully embrace my natural skin because my natural is not beautiful. Even now my natural skin has tons of acne scars. The clean girl trend only works if you naturally have perfect skin and hair.

[@ellawishful]

I have a similar experience but different outcome - had bad, insistent acne from 12-early/mid 20s. My skin is clear now, but is still more oily than dry and I just don’t like wearing foundation because it feels gross to me - like it’s trapping oil and bacteria in a layer on top of my skin. I feel like I can’t lay down on a pillow, touch my face, etc because my skin is dirty. If I hadn’t had such oily skin and painful acne all those years, I think I’d be more comfortable wearing foundation. But I do understand why the trend and the hype around it is annoying to you. To me, the “clean girl” makeup doesn’t look “clean,” it looks like a full face of makeup still

[@goodgrief888]

Thank you! Someone finally said it!!!!!! People aren’t “embracing flaws,” they’re expecting us to wake up perfect. It’s not a new thing either. In the 90s every guy I dated said some semblance of “I really prefer when girls don’t wear makeup.” Then they’d point to a girl wearing “natural look” makeup. I never wanted to out her. But these guys were not only rude, but also stupid.

[@lurategh]

I wish you'd told them, not to spite the girls but to let the guy know what they think is no makeup is often makeup. It hurts to know there are so many guys walking around with this misconception. 😩

[@goodgrief888]

@@lurategh well I was young and way more of a “pick me” back then. And I just assume everyone else was right, even when I knew they were wrong

[@SilverGreenEyes18]

It's your fault for not wanting to out them. If guys aren't told the truth how are they supposed to know? The makeup wearing girls who lie will always take everything from you if you aren't in the game or out them

[@inihilisme1511]

@@SilverGreenEyes18 It's not that hard to hear about the natural makeup makeup, one video would be enough to see the difference bro.

[@SilverGreenEyes18]

@@inihilisme1511 there are plenty of videos. Most women wear makeup outside and all women wear it on social media

[@oceana3070]

I think the same thing has been happening with the anti ageing industry for a good 2-3 decades. We value ageing only if you’re ‘ageing well’ (ie looking less than your age). And you’re spot on, anti ageing is now being pitched to literal teens as preventative treatments. It’s at once sad, ironic and funny.

[@pspspspspspspspspspspspspspss]

I think not enough people are talking about the link between psychology and skin in this conversation. I’m not saying all rich people are happy and stress-free…but these days were costs for literally everything are rising, it’s such a damn privilege not to stress about if you can afford your rent and living essentials next month. We can’t afford the privilege of not thinking, we can’t afford the privilege of therapy, we can’t afford the privilege of vacations, And our skin has no choice but to reflect that stress. And that’s just one factor of psychological problems linked to class and skin.

[@auntyvic]

‘Being told to love ourselves while being told that everything is wrong with us and needs fixing’ yes yes yes, it’s so incredibly sad and confusing

[@angelaallen1207]

As a 37-year-old woman making money moves in the corporate world, this video really resonated with me. Being in Midwest US helps because the beauty standards here aren't as unachievable as in other metropolitan areas, but I still feel guilty when my peers are getting Botox or fillers and I'm not making any of the same efforts. I love that at the end of your video you touched on body neutrality, because that has been my saving grace to hold as a mindset for the past couple of years. I just keep telling myself that if I drink enough water then my skin will be youthful and healthy looking. So far I'm not too mad at the mirror but I see the effects of time on a daily basis and I have to admit, it does make me sad sometimes. But I'm also so glad not to be young and really really stupid anymore so there's that

[@Li_Tobler]

Tbh I literally don't get the point of botox, ESP! for the forehead. Like, I'm such a severe frowner, I already started to get a deep vertical line when I was 16-18. I was able to fix and reverse it with consistent face massages, at first I was very into Japanese ones, then switched to olgatoja channel as her approach is a bit more gentle. Now my forehead is literally unmoving when I'm not controlling it (before I used to always have a permanent frown). Plus it's super relaxing and you only need like, any pantry oil for the slip, or a very fat cheap cream like Nivea, which my poor ass greatly appreciates. PLUS it's very good for the skin as it increases bloodflow in your muscles, which makes the delivery of nutrients from your food into your skin much more efficient. While botox does the exact opposite, assasinating your muscle for that period of time. No movement no bloodflow. And I think I've actually heard somewhere that skin over heavily botoxed areas tends to age prematurely but don't @ me on that Hope this was helpful to somebody ❤

[@angelaallen1207]

@@Li_Tobler thank you for this response! I took your suggestion and have followed one of her videos for the past 2 nights. The first night I did the massage, my partner looked at me afterwards and said "your face looks smoother and more relaxed." He had no idea that I did anything!! I have tourettes and carry a lot of my stress and anxiety in my face/neck/shoulders and this is already such a huge help for me.

[@Li_Tobler]

@@angelaallen1207 wow, you have no idea how much your response made my day! I'm so happy to help! 🤗 I'm especially happy that your bf noticed that so quickly, sounds like a great guy + it means that the massage is really effective! I also love the psychological effect of a good face massage even more than I do a visual one. It's not just for the looks, it's literally a form of self-care haha. Keep up the good work and I wish you luck all the way back from Ukraine! 💛

[@comingupmillh0use]

I was only able to afford dental work for the first time in 14 years because my dentist happened to have payment plans available, it ended up costing about $1200 just on fillings alone and it is absolutely baffling how something like dental work (that can be detrimental to your health if problems aren't fixed) is so inaccessible to most people

[@summero-my5in]

beauty isnt becoming a symbol of wealth, its always been that way

[@sunnychick9328]

The age-ism is definitely part of the problem. I was just having a conversation about this with one of my friends the other day. She's 29 and I'm 28, and she was going on and on about how she prefers to die young instead of getting gray hair, and how all the younger guys she's dating make her feel old. She's obsessed with reliving her 20s now that she's about to turn 30 and it makes me feel sad, bc I'm the complete opposite. I hated my 20s, and I am so ready to move onto my 30s feeling way more confident and sure of myself than before. Also, I was never a fan of wearing heavy make-up. Not bc I thought the ppl who wore it were trashy or anything like that (I have 2 younger sisters who are great with make-up), but bc I was simply never good at it. I sucked at contouring and blending, and I'd always get upset with myself bc I was in my early 20s and it seemed like EVERYBODY knew exactly what they were doing when it came to make-up. In a lot of ways it made feel like a failure as an adult, and I'd always feel embarrassed when asking for help from my sisters. It was just so ingrained in me by others that finding a romantic partner, having a good job, and being taken seriously all hinged on the ability to be able to apply make-up and looking beautiful. So when the clean girl aesthetic came around, I have to admit that it did make me feel a little relieved, bc it felt a little more achievable? At least in the beginning, anyway. Cleansing my face, putting on moisturizer, and sometimes spf had always been my go-to routine. Sadly, I did feel pressured enough to stock up on serums and toners, and eye creams, and a whole bunch of other skincare, so it made me all the more aware of how much I'd begun to spend on a skin routine that had supposedly been simple and more "natural". Plus, I realized I'd also let the pressure of looking young get to me in the same way it had my friend. The pressure literally comes from all sides. Anyways, sorry for the huge rant/comment. I just find it so wild how these trends come and go, and how easily women can get caught up in all of it. The fear of growing old only gets worse when you see how older women are treated, as well...

[@gabriellegay4097]

Literally same. I sucked at glam makeup as a teen and figured there must be something wrong with me or the literal shape of my face because my makeup didn’t look like the tutorials. I lost interest in learning how to do makeup and have literally never done daily makeup. When “clean girl” became a thing I was super excited too, because it’s like sweet this is what I do anyway! Now I’m just as terrified as aging as everyone else my age which is so sad, and I never felt that way before “clean girl”

[@dai5y]

being early for a jordan theresa video is like finding a lucky 10$ on the street when youve been having the worst day ever

[@jetsninja]

I hope that all the people worried about signs of aging are also thinking about like, bone health, staying mentally active, thinking about maintaining strength and mobility, etc, and not just wrinkles 😅

[@stilloslachen6519]

This actually helped me. I have unfortunate bone structure which results in sagging in my face much sooner than in say, my best friend. Other than the things related to that I love the way my face looks, but dark undereyes plus folds next to your mouth can just make it look very tired and Im only just 28. So I know at some point in my early 30s I will want a facelift. Maybe I wont by then who knows. But I know I am not doing that yet so Im not allowing myself to agonize over it too much, unless I am doing all that already, all that being healthy eating, enough me time, working on my book which is a more worthwhile goal than beauty, being good at my new job and exercise. Plus getting therapy for various things and treating my adhd. Plus stressing over my appearance will make my skin worse. At least thats what I am trying to do. I dont know if I will actually go and get a facelift, but the prospect of it gives me hope and motivation to do all these other things and a good incentive to save money. If I end up using it for something else in the end, even better. As the creator of this video said, I hate to feed into the demands of society by fulfilling them, but then...its hard, I have to live in this world. Had a hard time in school being bullied, ive only just found my footing and started to feel beautiful and I would like for that to stay for a little longer. But no amount of worrying about looks is actually worth it when it takes away from caring about your body and mind. So thats my approach. Its still crazy, but hey, the world is.

[@MR-zq5gt]

I mean yeah.. a 20 step skin care routine isn’t going to help much when you get dementia and end up in a nursing home 🤷‍♀️

[@AnnikaVictoria24]

I have a genetic condition that gives me soft gorgeous skin that will visibly age slower. It also gives me chronic pain, chronic fatigue, heart problems, and I can only empty my bowels by using a medical device. It'll probably significantly shorten my life. I'd trade normal aging and skin for all that in a heartbeat. If you're relatively healthy and age normally, BE THANKFUL FOR IT.

[@EllinIsLivid]

Is this elhers danlos?

[@marinetter.8423]

Got it 😩👍

[@BelligerentBarbie]

Immediately knew you were talking about EDS 😂

[@youngneanderthal]

never really related to the “natural beauty” label. i’m not particularly beautiful, i just don’t wear makeup because of my convictions in body neutrality

[@FileCode1459]

same! i don't wear makeup bc i find it a waste of time to put it on and, ESPECIALLY, taking it off. having to take off makeup is the biggest reason why i just refused to do it if it wasn't a special occasion, like a party or a holiday, and only bc my mother insisted on it. nowadays i just don't care anymore, i've always found it so annoying. i'm very happy with how i look naturally, even with eyebags and spots

[@awtumn]

Same here! I don't wear makeup either, mostly because it seems intimidating, and time consuming. Especially "natural" makeup looks. I've heard those take at least an hour or more.

[@youresinningtoo3996]

@@awtumnme too! When I look back to the days I "attempted" to wear full face makeup in high school, it looked AWFUL, (I've got no skill) and made my skin terrible, it was also just annoying to do. I stopped because I realized, ah what the heck, I'm not conventionally pretty with or without makeup, but I'm secure in myself.

[@markigirl2757]

I’ve invested a bit in skin care but barely. Sometimes I get decent skin products every year that last until the half way point and go back to simple bc it’s too expensive to keep buying it long term. My skin isn perfect but it’s much better then before and I only trim my eyebrows and color my hair for fun (pixie cut as well to be easier) I only dress up occasionally and walla I’m treated just find. I realize makeup is not worth the investment as long as ur skin looks decent

[@FileCode1459]

@@markigirl2757 omg we're almost the same!! i also have short and colorful hair, eventually buy special soap to cleanse my skin (which i often forget to use) and dress up once in a while (but nothing too fancy). I wish i knew more about fashion in order to express myself in more fun ways, but most of the time it's just a side thought

[@leela8641]

Couldn’t agree more with the title omg- and it’s been getting into really weird phrenology territory lately!!

[@jennifervasquez]

As a creative person nothing has helped me more than viewing my body as simply a canvas for my creative expression thru clothes, hair, n makeup like instead of getting hung up on not fitting trends or not being happy w a natural trait of mine i focus on how i can make myself feel as personally content in my creativity as possible and how i can maximize my canvas and it just so happens that having a skin care routine beyond cleanser and moisturizer and trying to make my skin as clear and wrinkle free as humanly possible isnt something that feeds my creativity or my vision of myself not to mention the fact that i have adhd which already makes even the most basic level of hygiene difficult let alone an extensive multi-step daily routine

[@V1sual3y3z]

Skin Care started surfacing around 2016. I remember that 2015 is when I started my how-ever-many-step, korean inspired skin care routine. I actually started investing in skin care a year or two before this, but it wasn't a popular social media topic. Part of it was the Korean skin care craze beginning around this time, but also because there was this growing understanding that the better your skin the better your makeup So, interestingly, full glam and skin care focus/minimal makeup are inherently connected. Kind of neat.

[@gensai93]

there's also been that trend I've been seeing where the women do a "natural" makeup look in that the point is that it's supposed to be subtle enough that it makes other women second guess or not be able to tell as easily. I think a lot of them are doing this and pretending it's "natural", gaslighting anyone who points it out. The beauty thing is so true, it's like you have to have a full face, professional installed nails and wig, and the eyelash and brow stuff just to be seen as presentable and not messy these days, women are made to feel embarrassed just for looking normal when they go out.

[@markigirl2757]

I bet it’s filters and photoshops half the time lol

[@kingworm7168]

People with healthy teeth getting veneers hurts my SOUL

[@theodoesthings]

i was shocked to find out that none of the characters in euphoria wore foundation and then i remembered that they can all afford expensive skin routines, botox, plastic surgery etc. not to mention it's much easier to get further in the film and tv industry if you have perfect clear skin

[@limonagrio7777]

One thing i dont hear about enough its the promotion of consumism by those influencers. Its usual seeing them with drawers full of expensive tiny bottles and creams doing what it feels like a 28 steps routine using multiple single packaged products wich, typically, you dont need.

[@konzokomo8488]

This video came at a perfect time where I've been so insecure about my teeth. Only slight cosmetic reasons but the cost would be insane!!

[@radiationshepherd]

I want us to be at a point where it's OK for anyone to just see themselves as ugly but it not be a big deal because people don't have to focus on looks to be valued and good

[@marienikolov322]

It really has become if you don’t make yourself look perfect then you don’t love yourself and you should love yourself. Like pls…

[@diariodesopi]

the same happens in brazil when the subject is skincare, botox, lipfillers, plastic surgery and stuff. people here aren’t able to buy the best products or clothing, it means that if u walk over here you’ll prob see someone out fashioned or with acne problems bc the minimum salary here is toooooo low and ppl barely can pay their rent, bills or even live.

[@ohitsclemenTIME]

What's wild is how young people start telling girls that body hair is wrong and bad. My mom was literally having me use Nair at 11 years old and I would get chemical burns on my legs from it.

[@jadesfromjupiter7780]

real!! i relate. i remember being 12 years old and laughing at a girl in my class for having hairy armpits. i felt so bad about it when i realized how wrong it was 2 years down the line. 6 years later i hope i didn’t contribute to her internalized misogyny like my mother did to mine.

[@phoenixfritzinger9185]

My mom is always shocked whenever she sees a bottle of Nair on the shelves She tried using it when she was a teenager in the 70’s and she still has a scar on her leg that is almost twice as old as I am. Like has that stuff ever actually worked on anybody? How do they even justify still selling that crap

[@jadesfromjupiter7780]

@@phoenixfritzinger9185 it has worked on me actually and i didn’t have any issues but i have some friends whose skin got quite irritated

[@weltschmertzz]

The problem lies with the normalisation of only showing "beautiful" people and tagging the rest as ugly/lazy. Even "natural" isn't natural anymore, sheesh. Change starts within you by holding your tongue about women's faces and bodies.

[@ohno2277]

Yall remember that stupid ass fuckin trend of comparing 'angel and witch skull' ??? Man i just wanna exist

[@clairepaffey1727]

I read something interesting about the beauty ideals of the 1700s/1800s the other day. At the time the beauty ideal for women was to be incredibly thin, so pale your skin was almost translucent (some women used blue dye to paint veins on themselves), have sparkling eyes and flushed red lips. The interesting thing was a lot of these are also symptoms of TB, or consumption as it was called back then. It was often called the poet's disease, because so many poor and now famous artists died from it (think Keats). In a weird way having these outward symptoms came to signify that you were an intellectual and an interesting person, so people replicated it. I find it so fascinating but horrific at the same time!

[@Shirumoon]

I live for these random facts that are totally on topic. Thanks for sharing!

[@Nefariousglitch]

The clean girl aesthetic is also heavily appropriated considering it was originally black and latina women who had the slicked back hair and minimal foundation mainly because there weren’t any foundation in darker shades

[@kilimanjaro5537]

This!!! If you look at any videos from the early 2000’s with black video vixens, they were rocking the clean girl look.

[@fran791]

This may be a bit of a reach, because I always associated the clean girl aesthetic with vsco girls from a few years back and they were all white. The vsco girls transformed into clean girls with the advent of tiktok

[@fran791]

@@pharietalestcvlogs oh I didn't know that. And did they call it clean makeup as well?

[@Nefariousglitch]

@@fran791 as someone who has brown family i can tell you from experience no its not really a reach the big difference is when we have dewy makeup it’s considered “oily” instead of glowy

[@Cindybabe99]

I grew up in Mexico. Latina women are really harsh with their hair. My cousin would wash and condition each night. Next day would brush, apply 1 kilo of gel, blow dry and do 1000 crazy things with her hair before school. This was done daily. Messy/wild hair is seen as lazy or a lack of hygiene and people are super harsh about it. The conditioning starts in kinder garden. The slicked back hair is usually a sign of working outside home at some physical job and not being able to just wear your hair down. Not sure in other countries, but in Mexico people are obsessed with personal hygiene. If you aren't pristine every single day you get treated like the pest. Not having your hair done makes you less. The culture has a CRAZY amount of hair accessories and products available even at the most humble/poor of places. Even if you go to poor areas women's hair will be 100% pristine. My parents are from Europe and we had a cleaning lady and the hair of her daughters was always more put together than mine and they wore all these very elevated / highly elaborated hair styles, even if it took them one hour in the morning. is crazy there.

[@mjjjermaine]

genuinely, your channel is doing so much to resist the damage tiktok can do. (Also shoutout to Rian Phin! Love her work!)

[@maris1883]

also, skintok gets to your head without you realizing. i remember being “hm, i should try starting a skincare routine! but very basic, that’s it!” and then 7 months later i had a 7 steps skincare routine that made my skin become VERY irritated

[@PrincessJas24]

It’s such a difference with teeth in different countries! As an American we take our teeth extremely seriously. I go twice per year to the dentist and I paid over 6k to have straight teeth with the ortho. I whiten as needed. It’s expensive here but we just are expected to pay it 😂 and don’t even get me started on veneers omg. Being as beautiful as you want to be in 2023 costs a lot. I agree with your points so much.

[@User-yu8er]

I've been doing the "natural beauty" trend for years but I only did it because I've got darker skin and couldn't find a shade of foundation that didn't make me look ashy or look like an oompa loompa lol

[@HereIAm247]

I also never used foundation, though my problem is that even the lightest tones are still too dark for me. 🙃 I also tend to have dry skin, and my skin both break out and dry out at the same time, so I get a major 'cake face' situation, even with very little product. I have the same problem with lipstick, so I don't wear that either. I guess it is nice not to have to wear it every day, but it would be nice to have the option at least once in a while.

[@sophesearching]

Same Girl same 😂😂😂

[@andoliniknits]

I've always had random breakouts and wrinkles from having an "expressive" forehead. Every 👏single 👏 day 👏 I used to relentlessly conceal the spots and blend in the foundation on my forehead. Then I tried botox and some facials. And the weirdest thing happened - at first I was happy with the result, and since my skin was "clean" and "smooth" now (🙄) I didn't need to wear as much makeup as I used to. And NOT having to wear makeup made me so happy, I actually started to love my face without foundation and concealer. I noticed my freckles and dark circles more, realized I don't even like makeup on myself. I ended up getting so used to my normal face, that even when the botox wore off and spots came back, I didn't want to cover them up anymore. It's a good thing that I look at myself differently now, but maaan it grinds my gears that I had to spent money and time to get my skin insta-"clean" to actually get comfortable with it. I get so frustrated thinking it felt impossible for me to just go out without "evening out" my skin and concealing two breakouts. But finally ACTUALLY embracing my natural beauty feels good tho.

[@rashikhare8480]

Thank you soooo much for pointing out strawberry legs that's exactly what I was thinking when you said we feel insecure about things that we didn't know were really an issue. I have strawberry legs. Earlier I didn't feel insecure about it but with all the ads popping up on instagram to treat it. Internally I am thinking like wait maybe it's not sexy and I am getting insecure about wearing skirts and dresses. GIRL thank you for addressing it.

[@thechefette3701]

I have strawberry legs and I've always hated it. I have been looking for a solution for years and I get zero ads for it. I only wear short skirts and dresses with tights and stockings and I rarely wear shorts.

[@cookiechip8490]

I think you should’ve also added that the rise of Kpop and kbeauty culture in the west heavily influenced the now ‘clean girl’ aesthetic. I think it was the because of the 9 step Korean care routine that started the popularity of clean skin. Plus content creators were created so much “let’s try Korean skin care routine.” Because full glam never really caught on in Asia, cuz ever since they have valued perfect, glossy, and youthful skin. But TikTok and the pandemic did hyperdrive the idea even more, and got westernized. And thus “clean girl” aesthetic was born.

[@user-nv7uq3zj5e]

no offence but i don’t think kpop changed anything outside of those who were already obsessed with it.

[@cookiechip8490]

@user-nv7uq3zj5e no it kind of did, like, what about Squidgame? Parasite? Kpop is a factor in why K-culture is popular in the west. And it is NOT only Kpop But East Asian culture in general is gaining popularity. i.e.: Tiktok by Bytedance, a chinese company. And you can't ignore that fact unless you have been living under a rock since 2016/2018. Edit: I shouldn’t have said that only* Kpop is responsible. It's that East Asian Culture is on the rise. mb.

[@user-nv7uq3zj5e]

@@cookiechip8490 those shows were just good shows that went viral. jjampong went viral for a bit but that's about it korean culture-wise. if anything, most people found out how oppressive life is in SK. also people continue to see how weird and creepy (and teen-focused anyway) the idol industry is. 10 step skincare went viral bc it actually worked (unlike western skincare at that point being purely for vibes) and it ofc was OTT asf. i wish y'all kpop people can see how much of a bubble you live in. your comments will get a lot of likes because kpop fans will see anything promoting hallyu/kpop and stan it into the ground, but it has almost zero influence on western culture aside from being the obvious place where the ED girlies go. promise you i'm as basic as you can get in terms of algorithm, and ain't nobody heard of those songs. unless you already lean into k-media fanbases, of course.

[@Pinkladyisv]

@@user-nv7uq3zj5eI agree with you. While kpop has certainly risen in western popularity it’s definitely not a mainstream thing that everyone is into. I say this as someone who is herself a fan of kpop. However I do agree there was for sure a big interest in Korean skincare and products.

[@qqqqqqqqqqqqqq7665]

⁠@@cookiechip8490as a K-pop Stan I would have to disagree with you

[@deniii3004]

Jordan, I think I speak for so many of us girls - THANK YOU! Not just for the time and effort you put into your video essays and the research behind them, but also for the passion you have for these important topics! You've really made my day with this one xx

[@vt1527]

Sue me but my skincare routine consists of a simple cleanser and the good old basic Nivea cream 😂 my skin has never been better!

[@fran791]

Not the nivea cream 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 I only use cleanser, argan oil as moisturizer at night and sunscreen in the morning. I find the consistency of moisturizers annoying, I prefer an oil

[@etherealstrawberry9873]

i use a cleanser and baby oil along with a drop of lavender essential oil! my skin feels so nice with all this. i haven't put sunscreen into habit yet- it's a bit of a hassle to put it every morning before school...

[@lurategh]

Mine used to be the basic cleanse, tone (if I felt like it), moisturize at night for the longest time. It's only this past year I tumbled deeper into the skincare hole and started using retinol and azelaic acid after having basically no idea what those were before. I also started using rice water as a toner which wasn't an inconvenience since it's easy to make and we always have rice at home, and wooowee it really does make my skin feel heavenly.

[@juliebuchanan9118]

Nivea girl as well

[@hannak5585]

That's what I told since the start of this trend. I prefer 2016 when we all used silicone primers to get rid of our pores (while admitting to having them while doing so) to 2023 where we are supposed to not even need the primer, except the look didn't change a lot. Shit was much more attainable back then, we didn't expect bare skin to be perfect, we expected out makeup to look perfect instead

[@Oli92_]

I'm not totally convinced that these "skin tints" aren't just rebranded foundations lol.

[@petra6902]

Fashion always switches to make you buy stuff. From tiny glasses to big ones and back to tiny, from tight to mom jeans to flare, from small bags to big ones to micro ones ecc comestics is just part of fashion

[@princebuster93]

@ Petra, that’s why I don’t by into the current thing, do your own thing

[@lowercasesncapitals795]

As 34yo woman, I’ve started to experience social media as an increasingly hostile place. It’s strange because my generation grew up on the internet and many of us are still very literate and frequent all the same apps, platforms, and spaces as much younger people. However, there’s this hyper-fixation on generational difference (ex: okay boomer, elder millennial, etc) which feels completely manufactured as a sort of distraction to pit us against one another, but it is also impossible to opt out. While I actively avoid and limit engagement with this type of content, it just gets pushed to me constantly. I don’t WANT to know what teenagers think about people my age, or what older people think about younger generations. I was a teacher for 10 years and volunteer weekly with senior citizens: I know for a fact that IRL people of all ages are worthy and can learn and grow together, not to mention enjoy each other’s company. But algorithmically speaking, it just feels like blatant ageism and generational-division is shoved down our throats, creating and exacerbating gaps that didn’t previously exist. Anyways, I loved your video and i just wanted to share my experience with feeling slowly squeezed out and pressured from online spaces I’ve been frequenting since I was a tween. Life is weird, let’s all try to be nice.

[@KacieRiley]

I don’t think the pandemic made people lazier I think it helped people realize how uncomfortable it is to wear face makeup and things like, pants 😂

[@goodmorning2386]

And for me, shoes 😂 I hate shoes now, I got spoiled after not really wearing them much for a while

[@bec5006]

It made me realise that wearing anything with a tight waistband actually hurts because of my chronic illness, and that I don’t always have to “just deal with it” when it comes to pain. But I still feel Wrong when I don’t wear pants around the house 😂

[@casieatthe3937]

SkinTok scares me because there are certain actives and skincare treatments that you really shouldn’t be starting in your early 20s or your late teens.