We Aren't Qualified To Answer This

Join us in this episode as we give advice to our Pack. We share our advice on how to stay productive when you feel unmotivated, how to navigate healthy relationships, how to feel confident taking big risks in life, how to find your LGBTQ+ community, and so much more!
Episode Overview:
1:45 - How to be productive when you feel drained
7:00 - Learning to use a chainsaw
9:15 - Misaligned love languages
13:00 - Moving in with a partner
15:15 - How to start van life
18:00 - How to make life more exciting
19:30 - How to start vlogging if you’re shy
21:30 - How to get sick dance moves
22:30 - How to be in a healthy relationship
26:00 - How to find your queer community
28:45 - How to take big risks
29:30 - How to be confident in your queerness
32:30 - How to start eating vegan
Watch Our Films HERE!
@vanwives
Join the Patreon Pack HERE!
⁠ / vanwives⁠
Instagram: @vanwives ⁠ / vanwives⁠
Jaz - IG ⁠ / ⁠
Crystal - IG ⁠ / ⁠
TikTok: @vanwives ⁠ / vanwives⁠
Twitter: @vanwives ⁠ / vanwives⁠
Business Inquiries
[e-mail]
Podcast Production By: Paige Cuthbert & Colin Steingard

[@SBooher1]

I'm a straight 70-year-old woman and I absolutely love you two and Tyler and Todd. In fact, I've seen your parties and I'd sure love to be at one. The love you have for each other emanates to others, as does Tyler and Todd's love. Keep rockin' ladies!

[@luminyam6145]

68 here and I feel the same.

[@elizabethadorno2399]

I been with my wife for 16 years and 5 years married and the key of a long relationship is never disrespect one other and never stop laughing🙏👋

[@compassioncucumbersveganpod]

For sure! My wife & I have also been together for 16 years and married 11 years. Mutual respect is a must. 💚🏳️‍🌈

[@KateOliviaIreland]

Sweet Friends, Happy Wednesday. Great advice. 50 years ago, I joined the military. I made amazing friends. There is one big regret. Tony, Jesus, and Bill ask me to backpack in Europe. I wanted to go so bad, but society was so different. I did not go, and I regret it. The last 50 years I have been taking care of everyone. I want to take a trip but I still feel guilty if I am not taking care of someone. Please everyone take care of yourselves. You are not being selfish. Love you all. Be blessed. Kate Olivia

[@26192305]

Just do it Kate Olivia ❤ Let that someone be yourself, take care of you. You deserve it too! ❤

[@jabbaraedwards8395]

I’m 68, female. I just planned and took a trip to Ireland. Rented a car and had a great time on my solo trip. DO IT!

[@Pawsitivehomestead]

Seriously how to get motivated after having days/weeks of rain? I’ve been trying to work in the rain before getting hit hard with storms. Then finally a day without rain an it’s to humid to be outdoors. It’s feeling like cabin fever all over again. Granny always said summers like this meant bad weather for winter. So now I’m prepping for fall/winter months just in case Granny was right. Prepping, canning, storing extra food and making sure trees are cut back away from home more than ever. Also working on moving chickens and ducks coop so they will be safer away from trees and areas that flood lately. My list is long but my motivation has been shorter than I am haha 😂 love y’all stay safe and give Bella and Izzy some love from my pack to yours!

[@squiggy813]

We love what you all are doing, especially the pack chat. I am writing this without having finished listening to you ...but remembering your latest post about Crytstal's back going out. You two remind me of us two ... we built and did EVERYTHING ourselves (now in our 70s and still doing much for ourselves). We pushed ourselves mentally and physcially, and the amount of satisfaction from having done all these things is immeasurable. BUT ... CRYSTAL! Please give yourself permission to give your back adequate time to rebound ... as in days. Please give yourself permission to put your self care on your "to do" list. Please give yourself permission to make adjustments to your work schedule, knowing that you will get it done. Please understand that the type of back strain you have now, can become seriously life altering if you do not retrain your muscles. Please, if you are not already doing so, learn and do core strength training, learn how to power lift, NEVER break the rules of good lifting posture (as in over-reaching while dangling weight) .... find new ways to get the job done. Ask me how I know all this? We love you girls and have "adopted" you into our pack. 🥰

[@sharong5759]

I believe alot of the pack feel the same way about what was said. ♥️🙏♥️💕🐶💖🌅💕💋

[@taylorslade961]

Ladies, I want you to know what an inspiration you are to me. I recently inherited a house with a decent size plot of land and I'm going to homestead it and I plan to do much of the work myself. The work you've done and shared with us has had a massive impact, much more than you know. 💜💜💜

[@vanwivespackchat]

Woah! Taking the leap! Amazing 💛 thanks for sharing that with us

[@user-ld2br4dt9r]

In reality they have done very little themselves. They pay people so be prepared of what it really takes and how much it costs.

[@colleenbalch328]

The Game of Logging IS THE BEST COURSE for safety, efficiency, and skill and the instructors are the best.

[@terristenacious2279]

It brings a tear in my eye when you talked about not feeling safe in places. I love you two and I have always been a lover of all people. It's hard to understand these people that have hate for others not even knowing them. I feel like I know and love you girls. Love should rule the world!!❤

[@moonaglow]

Try the 10 minute rule to help with motivation. Tell yourself you’ll do whatever needs to get done for 10 minutes, to trick your mind. Once you get started you be surprised that you stick with it until finished. 😊

[@debmadden4157]

LOVE you both. Followed you since your 3rd video on your other channel & 1st on this channel. You've come a long way. I just wish Crystal had more of a chance to speak w/o being interrupted.

[@twbluegrass6880]

If you enjoy their vlogs, please don’t criticize. Their relationship is a beautiful dance; practice will make it perfect.

[@valniles6100]

Love watching you guys. PLEASE, no one flame me on this. I love when you guys are comfy, stretched out on the couch together with one camera. It is just a comforting thing. I have vestibular vertigo issues. So with your new setup of two cameras flashing back and forth between you, I get vertigo and can't watch you. I would not usually be so vulnerable online about my health. But I really want to watch you guys! ❤

[@toomanydogs2]

You could just listen. I pop in ear buds and listen while I flitter around the kitchen.

[@12Daze]

Have you guys ever thought about streaming on Twitch? I think a simple, one cam, live stream of your daily projects would do pretty well. Maybe one camera with an overhead view of the property. Stream live while you're working on something new. Just an uncut version of your entire work-day. No need to really interact with viewers. Kinda like a security camera view of what's going on at the cabin. I'd subscribe. :)

[@jabbaraedwards8395]

I’m near Portland, Oregon; this weekend is Pride here. It’s a parade and two days of festivals on the downtown river. We had a Dragathon this week, over 48 hours of drag at Darcelle’s to set a new Guinness World Record. I got a two hour slot, so fun!

[@tomas5376]

Looking forward to the Vanwives Cookbook!

[@judykimbrow2151]

Love watching y'all from Alabama. My wife and I have been togethered for 41 years. We've been married for 5. It's still aomething new every day. Keep each day close to your heart.

[@triciahalsey7061]

Add "write a to-do list" as the first item on your list of things to do. You can immediately check it as complete and add to your feeling of action & accomplishment.

[@vanwivespackchat]

Yea 👏

[@monicasgh68]

I absolutely love Vanwives and the community is awesome. I get so much joy from watching and then reading the comments. This community is a collective of fabulous, loving people. Thank you ladies for creating this wonderful safe space. ❤️

[@vanwivespackchat]

We love you & the whole pack 💛

[@debraanneclark2188]

Before I moved to where I live now in UK I would never felt brave enough to come out as transgender because I would have not had the support or felt safe doing it there. It is true also finding support groups or safe places to go and surround yourself with others who will accept your queerness

[@patman9419]

Trim out your windows for a finished look for podcast. Good inside job on a rainy day! Love you both!

[@vanwivespackchat]

On our massive to do list 😂💛

[@granddpa]

you both have make me feel so much better you two I wait a whole week to just to see you guys

[@7paintboy]

Best advice I ever heard was “Make Plans and Make Love”. Meaning work together and never stop your physical connection. It was from someone’s Mom. Always the best.

[@judithshepard7906]

Love you both. You really entertain this old Arizona lady. Look so forward to you.

[@LN-StPete]

As to the motivation issue…. I retired at 57. I have one rule. I have to do at least one productive thing a day. Sometimes its only doing the dishes. That way I can curl up and read all day guilt free. Most days I am very productive though.

[@vanwivespackchat]

I’d say that’s a good rule 💛

[@robmcallen798]

Nice podcast/video. I'd never thought about the pride flag/sign being used as a signal that a place is safe(It's good that you can use it for that but honestly sad that you have to :( ). Which is my bad but it's always nice to learn something new. I'm not queer so doubtless I have way less grief(though no-one should get hassle for being who they are unless they are hurting others) on that front but honestly I tend to go by gut feeling on ppl. No matter what sexuality or gender you are. You are either a kind person or not and that's how I choose my friends and also who I watch online. I love watching your videos with all the ups downs in them. You have good days and bad days,just the same as the rest of us...on a bigger scale than some but that's what happens when you live in the middle of nowhere :P TLDR post kindness beats most everything else for me. You two seem to have a kind physical community and a kind online one also(way harder to achieve). Keep it up 💛

[@christinaroler3675]

When you say you don't cross it off, so you can see what you've done on your list.. SAME HERE. ❤❤❤

[@christinesabel9826]

To that person who want more exitment in life, do something you love!!!! I started sing for six years ago in a app called " Smule", I sing every day and I love it! In april I met one singfriend in London, that was sooooo coool!!!!!

[@vanwivespackchat]

I LOVE THAT! 💛 proud of you

[@umopapisdn123]

4:48 Consider rest, healing, self-care, walks, reading, all the pauses you take from being productive as tasks also - you're not "doing nothing" you're crossing a self-care task off your list :) Taking a pause to reflect or to space out even, those are self-care tasks that are gifting you future focus and wellbeing - it's banking productivity for future spending!

[@juliadaniels5396]

I'm so excited for this!!! I'm recovering from food poisoning and this is exactly what I needed to make me feel better! Thank you and I love you guys!! xoxo

[@NOUSHINLA]

Hi girls, I love you both very much and I am so sorry to hear that at this day and age you still have to worry about the places you go or peoples reactions to you. I don’t understand what is wrong with people aren’t there more important issues in life than Getting all worked up about peoples personal issues and relationships. Wish everybody start to have more understanding and compassion for others. Looking forward to such a day. Much love N respect to both of you.♥️♥️

[@colleenlepard6723]

I try to start everyday with a walk. It makes a great start to the day.

[@nataliemercer8497]

Listened to this on Spotify and now on KZbin

[@DanishDelight77]

Totally love you too ... if you ever pop to Denmark - do let me know. 🤩🏳️‍🌈 I agree on the small lists ... I went through depression last year and you too kept me smiling and gave me motivation to DIY (having bought a house from the 60s) - you are an inspiration and seem just SO lovely. Never missed a single video for 3 years now. ❤❤❤❤

[@cecechambers1016]

This pack was awesome Love you guys know I have to get back to work😂 I can not miss the Pack❤❤

[@debraanneclark2188]

Displays of affection whether at home or in public are so individual to each person but totally agree talking and learning what each other needs and work out what works for them because others ideas might not work for you and your partner

[@GraemeChapman-d6z]

It’s really important to do what you’re passionate about, what ever that may be.😊

[@kajajudy2364]

Stay good to each other. I love your videos and pod cast.

[@michaelwilliams7481]

You two give good advice, you have such a good relationship, that is why you have a lot to give to others. I think Crystal was correct that jaz is a touching person, I think it is a good way to show your love to somebody. Give a person a hug is so pleasing for both of you. Lot of love to both of you, including a hug from Mike. ❤❤

[@vanwivespackchat]

Awh thanks Mike 💛 sending you lots of love too. Thanks for hanging

[@stephaniedeegan853]

Moving is the key and outside in nature is best. Balance between rest and work a must to be able to go for the long run😊

[@niknoks6387]

To this day my mother in law doesn’t know we are married. We have been together 2002 and married since 2008. It’s just not spoken about, I’m treated well as long as it’s not discussed. They are in their 80’s, but then so was my grandma and she was so accepting. I was married to a man before, I’m in my 50’s now so back in the 80’s anD 90’s it wasn’t the done thing to come out, I have 2 kids, from that marriage, we now have a grandson and we a both nanna and nannies. My kids see it as they have 2 mums as well as a dad.

[@HannahbananaDIYingLYFE]

I second that 4:35, I’m big on everyone should have a lazy day every now and then. You should let you body and soul rest and just potato out on the sofa! I suffer from hyper focus, I’m sooo aware of burn out now (mentally and physically) I make sure I take a day here and there to just relax. Also you guys are awesome, I have just gone vegetarian after doing a bit of research following one of your earlier pod cast!

[@susanjellinger1559]

Little late watching this and loved it. My wife and I talk about these topics, i.e. communication, differences, making space for each other and having some boundaries. You podcasts, youtube action videos give a common frame of reference that certainly has helped me be more open. And this is after decades together. Love her still, love you two now.

[@lisavincheski]

Awesome point about the safe spaces. Jill and I went for my b'day dinner at a local gay friendly bar/restaurant and felt soo comfortable that we could enjoy our meal and be ourselves without feeling judged and stared at. I hope all business owners start to understand how much it means!

[@terrilepine9065]

Love watching you guys. totally agree talking and learning what each other needs

[@sarahcartier3393]

The key to living with someone in the early days is to remember you both have different personalities and quirks, so long as you can except your partner for who they are and what they are and communicate regularly respecting each others individualities and boundries you should thrive. Compatabilty and shared interests also help bond and develop a relationship. Controlling, manipulation and trying to change a person is a recipe for disaster and can lead to a toxic relationship.

[@xrayman073]

Compromise is short for mutual understanding!

[@JoshyLov]

Hey, girls! Will you guys ever have a podcast or video about your everyday in the vanlife? I am curious to know how you find free parking spaces? How do you manage with waste? The dogs? What routine do you have? Thank you!

[@janaunvoyles4293]

My advice to couples is to always, ALWAYS say I love you and if needed apologize when you part company. Even if you feel that you deserve an apology. I know of so many times that people say the last time we were together or the last time we talked we were fighting or said hateful things to each other and never got the chance I loved them or that I was sorry or didn't mean it. I'm not saying expect something bad to happen, I'm saying that if something bad happens, which ofton does, your last words were positive and loving, I make it a habit to tell My loved ones every time I love them and will miss them every time.

[@berrymand71]

Concerning love languages... all couples should actually take the test and compare results. I have been married 30 years and part of this is understanding that my wife NEEDS certain activities. I have bought the Gary Chapman book and given it away to couples at least 15 times. Concerning veganism... I went mostly vegan for health reasons but determined that I need meat. After researching, some people need more proteins so don't feel like you HAVE to go vegan. Reach your happy point. Mine is eating mostly vegan (and bacon) while also supporting local businesses that aren't as harsh as the big meat industry.

[@jmk1962]

Love Gary Chapmans books.

[@rosehalpin8108]

Your front room table looks gorgeous. Please show it. Lol You go by it so fast and it's so pretty.

[@mikewilgar]

My Dad used to say that a chainsaw is the most dangerous weapon you don't need a license for.

[@vanwivespackchat]

Retweet to your dad

[@chesh6955]

Well done girls yet another informative and funny episode love to watch you two every Sunday and your pod cast on Wednesdays. Please keep up the good work. Also Crystal hope your back is getting better on advice on that you have a Hot tube so if your back is hurting have a soak in that and also your Sauna and listen to your doctor. Also more videos of the dogs as we all know they are the stars of the show.

[@debraanneclark2188]

For some people a vegan life style isn't for them but I think if you want to try that lifestyle it is important to follow your heart.

[@happyashley4085]

Always enjoy listening+watching your content! The advice is great and really loved the smiley face as a completion indicator! Thank you for sharing so much of your life with us ❤ in gratitude 🌺✨

[@martindowling1401]

Good mornin' ladies! Loved the vlog! You guys make me so hopeful about a new mate I'm 63 and I've been single for 10 years. I'm gay and live in sunny FLORIDA! Thanks for your encouraging words!

[@underthetornado]

Great chat!!!!❤😂🎉

[@pauljohnson3590]

I loved you answer on being shy and blogging and I’ve notice you Crystal coming outbid your shell when I first started watching you you hardly ever talked on the videos but I love the way you speak up now

[@emileeleewolfe4192]

I use 'accomodate' instead of 'compromise'. It feels better. 😊

[@selahrising]

I love this podcast. When are we getting more?

[@LoneTraveler-nc6rf]

“The wisdom of the group.” Bravo 🎉

[@loupelizzo2399]

I’ve been watching you both for a long time and you give great advice and yes please love to see this type of video again. Thank you so much for sharing this great chat.

[@vanwivespackchat]

Happy you enjoyed xx

[@bhfire8023]

Thinking about why you can be motivated. Do you have to keep in mind your health status to. If you’re not cost 100% obviously it’s hard to get to motivated.

[@gloriadavidson8599]

Great podcast 👏👏👏 Really enjoyed it 😁 re motivation I try to set myself a target of 3 small things a day then the sense of achievement makes doing the bigger things so much easier 😊 Showing Kindness even in small ways makes life SO BETTER for everyone 🎉🎉🎉🎉

[@vanwivespackchat]

Love that! Thanks for sharing 💛

[@interesting2me]

Learned few things in this video. Keep going,it's good.🏆

[@limejockey123]

I love these videos. Great job as always

[@user-rj9uj3me1z]

I’m loving this pod cast. You two are awesome.

[@lindahopson5003]

Excellent podcast... thanks for all the good info/ advice.

[@vanwivespackchat]

Thanks for hanging with us xx

[@user-rj9uj3me1z]

I can honestly say I don’t have gay friends to hang out with. Most of them are older than me some younger. But even now there is no one is close to where I live. My bestest friends I have now are you girls and some of our pack members.

[@analogkid28]

Great advice. And a fun chat ❤

[@jeffr2855]

Hey, that was fun. Thank you ladies.

[@vanwivespackchat]

Hey! Glad you had fun xx thanks

[@dalebetts5658]

Great podcast today! ❤😊❤

[@mariamaria00]

Would like to see your mommager interviewed!

[@hazellegate9624]

I hope you can do a Pack Chat with Max while he visits! His accent would make the show. 😂

[@jackwilkinson6031]

yous have the right adatud .Life hase a lot of ups and downs.you lern when to shut up and cont your loses.Nowone wins aill the time.after a time you both will rube of the shrpe corners of contenshen.eaven after 54 yers of marege we alwaes dont see things the same way.A lot of things that semes to matter in the past dont seam to matter in the averall spektrem of lifeJust remember why you got to gather in the ferst plase.life is a jerny. Good luck.love.

[@tameliacowan2312]

Enjoy the informative pods and videos ❣️ Sorry Crystal the hurt in your back and Jaz looks lost without you! Be safe and take time for yourselves❣️ Just wondering what's the next project is going to be❓

[@martynangus3907]

I'm not vegan, but I'm trying to eat less meat, so I made your cauliflower mix to put in a burrito! It tastes amazing! I will always do this for anything I would use minced meat for from now on :)

[@julieholcombe7422]

How to start vlogging question: I have followed SO many vloggers from day one until now and seen how they have evolved. I am not a vlogger but I think every one of them started out much different than they are today.

[@Lilasun]

I put hearts next to the tasks on my to-do lists 😄❤

[@Gauri108Shivaswife]

My motivation advice: do like one thing just tiny... like brush your teeth... and then complete focus on that action... don't let your brain even think about the couch.

[@vanwivespackchat]

The couch will eat yah lol. Love that advice that you 💛

[@juliemilligan6706]

I would love a couple of your favourite recipes one day! ❤

[@torbenjensen6382]

hi you too nice to see you again hi from Norway

[@julieholcombe7422]

I love, "There's no hate here"❤

[@compassioncucumbersveganpod]

Thank you for your advice on going vegan! Great advice and recommending watching documentaries and educating yourself was spot on! Kudos from one queer couple to another!💚💚🥒🥒🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈

[@vanwivespackchat]

Much love to you 💛 thanks for hanging xx

[@amorl4520]

I really wish you both would make a vegan meal beginning to end videos . Show us the product and explain like you Just did what the health benefit are . Please please. It will also enhance your channel and expand your audience. Thank you

[@kimkerley4218]

Yes God made us to work 6 days and rest a day after you have worked for 6 days. His way works because that’s the way He created us. Work 6 straight days and rest the 7th day. This is the healthy way ❤😊

[@toomanydogs2]

Going vegan “cold Turkey”. LOL! Love y’all!

[@RickSmith1020]

I miss my Pack Chats!

[@raymondburlage6927]

Love the video ladies. Take care and be safe.🌭🌭

[@roberttrusty7637]

you have one of the best podcast you seem to have slowed down i think you need to be more consistent

[@cindysimoes3043]

I have always heard energy begets energy in relation to your motivation discussion.

[@MrCarl312]

39:40 How to make it stop raining? Go somewhere it is not raining.

[@gordonwallin2368]

Cheers from he Pacific West Coast of Canada.

[@poeticposturing3850]

Did you have fears around getting together, maybe losing yourself in the relationship. If so, how were they overcome? I love hearing what you have to say.

[@vanwivespackchat]

No we never feared that. But I believe it’s pretty common. Commitment can be scary for some. But when the person makes you feel the absolute best it’s hard to be scared 💛

[@courtneylowenthal5228]

HUMP DAAAAY!! happy pack chat Wednesday 😊❤

[@courtneylowenthal5228]

If at first you dont succeed, dust yourself off and try again🎶🎵

[@Con_blue]

Please come baaack ❤

[@suekeane]

My advice please go back to sitting on the one couch. the switching screen was like I was watching the tennis

[@tereasabonner]

Love you girls!!!! Don't forget to put a first aid kit in your lovely tool shed ( garage ) Keep being real!!!

[@vanwivespackchat]

100%

[@1984shadow]

Questions are an INQUIRY.

[@GiraffeOverlords]

Love any and all contact you guys have I'm curious did you guys have a episode last Wednesday or no or did I lose track of the days I've been in recovery from wisdom teeth on Tuesday just didn't know if you had an episode out or skip last week

[@rustysmums82]

Maybe i missed it, but has the merch drop yet? ❤ thank you

[@marksaleski9890]

Are you gals going to bring back the pack chat?