We Don't Want To Accept Gifts Bought On A Credit Card

[@CincyO1974]

You don't get to dictate the terms of a gift. You also don't get to control people.

[@hikerhobby1204]

Thank you Teresa! I thought that a minute into the conversation. Merry Christmas!

[@minervagalvez4748]

Amen!!! Hallelujah!!!

[@clarkent61]

I agree, caller number one really did a number on his mother-in-law.

[@JessNova]

"I have a rule. I do NOT give my opinion until you ask me." So wise!

[@teresaevans4840]

It's great to do that 😜

[@nicolcacola]

It isn't anyone's business how the gifts were bought. People are offended by the weirdest things.

[@Machiavelli876]

Nobody loves an overzealous pontificator. Accept the gifts and don’t create unnecessary drama.

[@cybertrk]

The problem with that… is that spenders can be sick. And you don’t want to support the sickness. …so the alternative is to ask for time with them instead.

[@takeastandorbeenslavedby-left]

@@cybertrk, not your place to control. Stop trying to manipulate others

[@jimroscovius]

Get a new phone, buddy!!

[@hongkonghottie]

@@takeastandorbeenslavedby-left problem is that the caller and his wife may end up having to care for this lady with the debt problem later on. So that would be a burden on them

[@NeededGR13F]

@@hongkonghottie we're talking about Christmas gifts here. It's not even something that would show up on their taxes, nevermind leave her destitute.

[@MR3DDev]

There is being responsible following Dave's plan and then there's being stupid with other people. Accept the gift. PS: If the gift is a new phone you should take it cause sounded like you calling from a a HAM radio

[@fishingangler4315]

lol

[@pep590]

I love that ham radio comment. It sure did sound like that. Lol.

[@DoctorSmartyPants]

That is the BEST reply on KZbin that I've ever read!

[@tdawgboss8598]

My ham radio sounds better than this guys phone. Please don’t insult ham radio 😂😂

[@DoctorSmartyPants]

@@BobDobbs681 yeah, sound quality. I dont think they should even put these calls thru screening unless no one else is waiting.

[@brandonbarclow3135]

My God! The Ramsey army needs to loosen up. You can't save the world. Having said that, Dave's suggestion is spot on.

[@JB-lk4zl]

You cannot help people who do not help themselves. Just accept the gift and live your own life.

[@michaelb.8953]

This caller is beating his chest while his head is inflated with the small accomplishments he made in his financial goals all while he's passively aggressively conveying the idea to his mother in law look what I just accomplished and it's better than you so therefore I'm better than you and that gives me the right to dictate and control your money habits. Good on this guy for what he has accomplished, but it NEVER gives you a right to get on your high horse and look down on other people.

[@matthewgardner2144]

You just summed it up perfectly. He's judgey and smug.

[@charlesg7926]

I don’t know if I would go that far. But I do agree, that everybody who is not financially successful and who is not financially responsible, is going to be insecure and definitely interpret it that way. So socially, it’s a bad idea to do that

[@rightsaidmatt2632]

I think it's more that he's just kinda dumb. Starting a war with you're mother in law a year into a marriage is just stupid no matter how much of an inferiority complex he might have.

[@clarkent61]

Caller number one should be ashamed of himself. Tout your achievements but not at the cost of your mother-in-law’s reputation.

[@John3.36]

Yeah, he shouldn't say anything, just let her spend herself to oblivion.

[@Mansini77]

Just accept the gift, let the purchaser deal with the fallout.

[@John3.36]

"Imma do me" mentality ^^

[@hongkonghottie]

but MIL would be their responsibility if she is destitute later on

[@FoodSmash]

“Return that gift and buy yourself some rice and beans. Merry Christmas.”

[@chinwenduejezie8699]

🤣

[@plants4thewin]

LOL, and a slice of humble pie

[@joshanderson7880]

@@plants4thewin with extra salt

[@elsaj1764]

I like these two guys, you can tell they genuinely like each other. They work well together.

[@CeyaWeya]

In the future I would tell her you want the gift of TIME with her. Life goes by so fast (speaking as a 56 year old who has lost both parents). Memories never fade. Bake cookies, watch a favorite movie, drive around to see the Christmas lights, go caroling....there are so many beautiful ways to spend time, not money. God bless you!

[@RoxiieSays]

He sounds super judgmental and self righteous. I get the feeling that he cares more about this than his wife does.

[@oldgeezer2780]

I can't believe this really, and it is soo simple. Daughter can say, "Mom, we have our whole lives to buy the things we want. And what we really wanted was each other. [Look adoringly at husband] But we'd feel awkward - we'd rather you save for your own retirement." Sharp contrast to my own folks: When we purchased our house, my Mom asked if we needed appliances. I said no, we had that covered, but I thought for a second my happily retired, financially very solvent folks were going to gift us with something. Then my Mom said, "Because, if you did, your Dad and I could have you sign a promissory note." That was *just so like them.* Still makes me smile. Mom and Dad raised three very thrifty people. Even when people ask for advice, sometimes it's just looking for validation. Bashing the well-intended over the head with unwanted advice can sour a relationship, quick.

[@webfreakz]

Is that offer still valid? Asking for a friend! ;)

[@mollynash2597]

Some people just take things to the extreme. If he's worried that the gift was too expensive for that person, why not suggest a spending cap for Christmas gifts or not exchanging gifts at all?

[@jeremiahmeade710]

Spending cap= “Don’t go into debt to buy me a gift.” It is exactly what he wants to do, but he merely didn’t use the phrase “spending cap.” If you set some “spending cap” at $5 because you don’t want the person to go into debt, but that person doesn’t even possess $5 to spare, then, if that person gets a $5 gift, that person will still have gone into debt. So, setting the “spending cap” to some arbitrary number doesn’t absolutely get the point across. The point is: “do not go into debt.” So, why not go straight for the jugular, and say exactly what you mean?

[@jeremiahmeade710]

What not say gift exchange is off-limits? Gift giving is a tool which one uses or abuses in order to influence the life of another. To say “no gift exchange” is to silence all discourse, to potentially utterly obliterate the possibility of change, to claim that oneself is God. It is only done in fear (fear that one isn’t actually God), and fear is a contradiction in reality.

[@nicholeknight1893]

Don't give your opinion unless asked. Couldn't have said it better Dave!!!

[@NclinedMuzaclly]

Some people are so extra

[@Blueocean881]

If someone wants to give you something it's the thought that counts. So come up with a list of affordable but necessary items and make out like you REALLY want them even more than the expensive ones your MIL is looking to splurge on. Get her excited about things that don't bring too much pressure to the season. That way everyone wins.

[@rachelharrison7961]

This caller is currently writing a script for his wife to deliver to her mother.

[@mikesmith-wk7vy]

Rejecting the gift is going to come off as very smug and entitled almost bragging about your financial beliefs

[@frankm2385]

Jay, Get off your high horse and say, “Thank you.” Unless you pay her bills mind your own business.

[@carolynjacobson190]

Thank you Dave and John because this guy he don't have a clue

[@angelag.3266]

You don't get to determine how people use their money to buy gifts. If they choose to use debt to purchase gifts, thats their choice, not yours. Say thank you, move on. That simple.

[@David-wo9un]

Get over yourself; what makes you feel so superior over others? The TMM won’t work unless the person themselves wants to make a change.

[@autistic-lutheran-carnivore]

Yeah, some of Dave Ramsey's books & materials probably get thrown in the trash if the recipient of the gift isn't open to having their mind changed.

[@JustinCase780]

Maybe gift yourself a functioning phone.

[@topcomment3816]

Dumbest call of the year comes just in time for Christmas! Thanks Jay 🙏

[@pep590]

Lol...so right.

[@autistic-lutheran-carnivore]

To a certain extent, I believe most of the time, if you give a gift with the intention of changing someone's mind about something, that gift will wind up in the trash the next day. My late father gave my siblings & I copies of Dave Ramsey's book "The Total Money Makeover". I was the only one who read the book and my siblings are doing stupid with money (one of whom is a nurse going to grad school on loans).

[@greatgolfer23]

You are totally right! I was high on Dave Ramsey a few years back and gifted the book to my little brother who had just graduated college and gotten a 80k a year job, he hasn't read it to this day because of how it was presented to him "this can make it life better" Big lesson for me not to do that again

[@random-nz7dy]

If you want to give somebody a copy of The Total money makeover it's a lot better to wait until you talk with somebody who seems genuinely interested in what you've done and wants to do the same thing and then ask them if they'd like a copy of the book you read that helped

[@charlesg7926]

I think it’s worth a try, but I agree with you, you can’t fix stupid. People that are biologically low intelligence or people that have bad temperaments with money, or simply not going to listen or learn. But if somebody is smart and disciplined, and they want to learn a good method of getting rich, then the book will greatly help them.

[@autistic-lutheran-carnivore]

@@charlesg7926 Well, I mean trying to change their mind about anything. I am talking about books winding up in the trash from authors that are on both aisles of the political spectrum, dietary perspectives, etc. You are going to find books by Gary Taubes in the trash, Al Gore in the trash, Ben Shapiro in the trash, etc.

[@AllynHin]

Every year, I tell everyone in my family no gifts, please. I just want everyone to get together and have a nice visit without the complication of gifts. I take everyone home-baked goods.

[@Bloquita5]

In my situation, my family gives me gifts that often ends up being put away on a shelf or a drawer for a while and eventually, ends up being donated as I already have the things they gift me. I live a simple life and don’t like having clutter-it gives me anxiety. I have explained to my family that I already have enough and that I do not need more things so this year I asked them to please not give me gifts. I have explained multiple times and they keep trying to convince me that I need more things. I feel frustrated having to explain the multiple reasons as to why I don’t want to acquire more things. I’ve talked to them about Dave Ramsey and his baby steps but they dismiss it. I have practically begged them to not spend money on me and to instead put it towards their emergency fund. Although they are bothered by my decision, it felt good this year to be honest with them and explain that I do not want or need more material items. Instead I prefer we spend the time together and we enjoy food I help to prepare.

[@plants4thewin]

Sounding a little judgy and stuck up...just take the gifts 🙄

[@skrink1981]

How about mind your business? 💅🏽

[@lynnebucher6537]

He definitely can't change the mother-in-law's spending habits but he will also have to think about how one day she's going to end up living with them because she won't live within her means. The best gift a parent can give a child is to not be a burden on them.

[@simplyabbey139]

He really cares about his MIL and he doesn’t want to see her cause herself financial harm That is a beautiful SIL He means well And had the sense enough to ask someone wiser than him for advice That’s so cool 💗

[@Barb6106]

I hear you on this!! It’s hard to be enthusiastic about something and want others to have your experience. Stop. Be sweet and open and generous and kind. Be happy about your life, your success, your knowledge. “Your” is the most important word.. it’s you! Not her! Don’t try to dictate to someone else YOUR choices!! If she asks if you are going to get a particular something, you can say “not just yet.. we are saving for it. We are not going to get into debt for anything and only want to pay cash”. No lecture about her life or her choices. You are not perfect so just don’t push your choices on others. Makes you boring and awful to be around. Be kind 😌

[@jme92685]

That’s absolutely ridiculous. What business is it of yours anyway?!

[@michaelmcatee221]

It’s none of your business how someone bought a gift for you. You can advocate the Ramsey program and share it with people but it’s rude to make terms for someone to give you a gift.

[@autistic-lutheran-carnivore]

Unless you have enough of a case to bring before a judge that a person cannot mentally make responsible decisions for one's self, it isn't against the law, and aside from trying to convince that person, you have to watch it happen.

[@Raistlinsdragonclaw]

I have told people not to buy me gifts. It is hard. I want everyone to do better. I tell them my love is not based on them giving me stuff.

[@random-nz7dy]

Yeah there's always things like setting a limit for the gift exchange or just saying that you don't want to do gifts rather than having to be holier than thou. The only other situation where I would be on board with somebody doing something like this is if the person was planning on getting them something exorbitant like a vehicle

[@katiebrower5552]

Dude just lead by example and be a gracious receiver. At the end of the day she's and adult and responsible for her own decisions.

[@502kingpaul]

I wouldn’t talk to her at all about it (if I’m the husband). That can go left real quick. Let the daughter address it with her mom. Probably wouldn’t even have called in and put her business out there

[@plants4thewin]

All good points

[@marysimmons1]

Unless the MIL is asking for money / help...stay out of it. Accept the gift and just say thank you. Nothing wrong with saying you don't need anything / gift...keep the peace,don't cause drama.

[@marcenelj]

This is stupid.. SMH

[@banditone7896]

I have been binging Ramsey content for the last week or so. I don't know why, but the mental image of Dave yelling at someone at a stoplight got me laughing pretty hard. Thanks for the chuckle.

[@WestZ]

Lol that’s extreme

[@stevenporter863]

I was on crutches once. I didn't expect everyone else in the world to be on crutches too - everyone has a different situation. Caller needs to grow up and stop playing God.

[@Michael-vf2mw]

I would pay good money to see Dave make a scene at a stoplight.

[@jeanlaubenthal698]

Bring up when it is not around a gift giving situation.

[@josephsantangelo2801]

This guy is dying to make a huge deal out of this. It’s your wife’s problem. Easy answer. Stay in your lane bro.

[@scarpfish]

Some people just have to take well intended advice and push it to obtuse extremes I swear.

[@Raistlinsdragonclaw]

I love dave and john!

[@donnamoore4494]

I told my new daughter in law and son when they asked what i wanted for christmas. I told them just a wedding picture with or without a frame. Save your money to buy you guys a home. Or whatever you need. I told my unmarried girls the same thing i want a new photo so i can hang up. Do not waste your money on me. My granddaughter i said make me a picture or decorations for my tree

[@spcysos]

I totally look at cars and trucks and say that to myself! Hahaha!

[@ryanperreault6453]

This is ridiculous. This is a joke right?

[@MiguelNoyola1]

Life changing moments for you don’t mean you impose it on others. Son in law needs to stay in his lane.

[@owa2533]

I tell all my family don't get me anything for Christmas. I don't like gifts cause thats their hard earned dollars.

[@jeanlaubenthal698]

Making people wrong is not a good idea. Sharing as an opportunity is a better attitude.

[@caitlintraugh3976]

No. I don’t like Dave’s advice here. You say thank you and that is all. Dave said you wait until they ask for the advice but the mom didn’t ask her daughter for advice? Why would she give her some speech then about the gifts?

[@tcgtpl]

Never look a gift horse in the mouth. The MIL isn't going to listen anyhow, so anything the husband might say is going to drive a wedge between him, his MIL and his wife.

[@joshhernandez6974]

The US has a weird system for Christmas. It’s almost like they MUST give people gifts or else. In Mexico small children are priority and if you have something left and want to gift someone something then you are free to do so. In the US it is almost like you are obligated. I don’t get it

[@pawelwisniewski6849]

What about if she got the gift from someone else and thinking it would be better for the kids then her , are they still going to teach her a lesson ?

[@thesmartbudgetchannel2940]

This sounds like a control issue. Wanting to control other people's lives.

[@whitneyw.7919]

These people are so ridiculous and controlling

[@aalberto4961]

‘ hardly any of our relatives do our stuff only a couple do’ .. i like this!! It reminds me of my own family 😃😃😃😄😃😃😃..

[@jillgott6567]

You can not tell someone how to pay for a gift. That is RUDE ! You may legitimately care about others however, they get to make their own decisions. A Financial Peace class is a great gift.

[@DogCatpets792]

I think this question should’ve been asked on Jerry Springer

[@clarkent61]

Caller number one, why call out your mother-in-law like this? Some might say you should be ashamed of yourself.

[@SIP612]

I've thought this too. It seems hypocritical to accept gifts from people in debt. No judgement, just love.

[@zekebrunt]

Huh

[@RGTFLA85]

Just say we don't want anything.

[@NCKyle1980]

Best show ever. :)

[@lynnegordon6749]

I Would Never Ask Anyone How someone paid for a gift for me. Just saying.

[@mariad4183]

Maybe let her know but also consider grandmother's feelings

[@jarelchico]

Is it possible mother in law is putting a down payment on being taken care of in the future by a couple in good financial status?.. 10 yrs in the future- when grandma has passed away, the mother will ask these two to stay with them instead.

[@ENC98TV]

Just accept the gift dude

[@TAPPChannel]

Sick. Show me receipt before I’ll accept that gift

[@stardarkk]

relax

[@barnabusdoyle4930]

Reality check: Your mother in law is an adult and you need to let her live her own life. She will buy you something unless you crush the relationship. You can’t change people until they are ready to change

[@PublicNuisance2K24]

I’ll take that burden off ur hands 😂

[@moeskarimzadeh846]

thank you ..... ✌🏻👌🏻

[@clarkent61]

I was hoping this first caller would really have a question to ask🤧

[@Pznluv6]

Nothing against Dave, but John got interrupted and cut off so many times, it would have been nice to hear what he was going to say.

[@michaeldalton8374]

Just making sure her future home is comfy.

[@lauriemcdougall8415]

Not the full Dave!!! we agreed, no nukes!!!! lol

[@clarkent61]

Caller number one is a joke.

[@fiedler230]

Seems like he just doesn't like his mother in law and this is a passive aggressive way of "Owning" the mother in law.

[@MrOfficer235]

Sell the caller

[@mleezy930]

Nutty caller …..

[@steveo601]

This guy can’t be serious🤨🤨. It’s a gift. 😆Good job with the debt!!

[@carmenross1077]

Hey dude give a GIFT OF MONEY THAT WILL BE GOOD, AND THANK HER.

[@rightsaidmatt2632]

This ignoramus was really about to tell his mother in law she is too poor to buy her daughter Christmas gifts, lol.😆 I don't usually agree with Dave's advice but I will give him his due, he saved a life today.

[@ghostmane2643]

I actually kind of dig that concept lol.

[@highdesert5143]

Maybe caller is upset to find out he didn’t marry money.

[@sammader5456]

First 40 seconds was a waste of everyone time

[@yolandacervantes5567]

say no gifts this year

[@DGYtown]

What was Dave doodling??

[@Oldtimeleftie]

Maybe you should mind your own business and just say thank you

[@rmstigerfan]

Oof lol

[@Justjames89]

Guy sounds like the Californians from snl

[@NaNa-lt1po]

Say thank you... how about that... If you want that to be a purity test, donate the money you think the gift is worth... case closed

[@genxx2724]

That’s like the giver is forcing you to make purchases. Makes no sense. Doesn’t undo The MIL buying them things with money she doesn’t have.

[@eileeneclark9011]

12/24/21...THIS GUY is a CONTROL FREAK....also obviously a KNOW-IT-ALL & MUST be freaking ABOVE ALL OTHER PPL! WONDER how his wife can live with this huge EGO/BOSS/DICTATOR?