My Dad Is Expecting Me To Pay Back The $65,000 Loan He Took For Me

[@2023Red]

She needs to pay that $67k directly to lender such as DOE. Not to dad. And send a certified letter to dad that she has paid in full.

[@nicolegraham1492]

My thoughts exactly. Pay the lender directly.

[@Fawnshell]

no sports car for dad then

[@666dynomax]

He can pay it himself

[@blackworldtraveler3711]

Just since she pays it he probably don't care.

[@ChampippleD]

666dynomax But he won’t.

[@Lifel4444]

Next week's caller: my daughter gave me 65k and I owe 200k in total. Should I use that money to pay off my debt or make investments with that money?

[@mysticquetzal87]

🤣 exactly!

[@emilyharrison1340]

So true

[@megalodon1726]

More like this: My daughter gave me $65K, I bought a luxury car with the money and I have $200K in debt. Should I sell the car?

[@landlordnation]

Once again, unappreciative kids, why does he have to go out and do something dumb with the money. He's probably comfortable with the debt because he realizes that he can't do anything about it. If he's such a bad person why did he take out 200K in loans for his kids and the mother did nothing.

[@Gruuvin1]

Taking out a loan in his name for her school, and no discussion with her, that's not sacrifice; that's foolish. If he pays the debt, then it's his gift to her, but she doesn't owe it back to him.

[@Chispaluz]

This caller really needed Dave on this one

[@Kaktus965]

Yea, rachel isn’t very good at this

[@fernandovazquez7272]

@@cstuartdc did you not see the video? Lol She said she didn’t know. You lack simple comprehension

[@SeptemberTwentyThird]

she needed wisdom that comes with age, and experience. Something that Dave certainly has.

[@oneisnone7350]

Exactly what I was thinking.

[@Jane-rh7tc]

yeah, Dave is very good with resolving very hard financial crisis, that comes with life experience and actually going thru crisis themselves to know what to do, Rachel and George are smart ppl too, but they are too young and inexperienced with this. this kind of situation is more of Dave's specialty

[@carolannerobinson3513]

She needs to cut the Check to the LOAN Company against that account, no payment to Dad!

[@KC-dr3cg]

Question-does paying his loan is it a taxable situation as a "gift "

[@tomsassurance]

@@KC-dr3cg The loan goes to the student and the co-borrower. She did sign the paperwork and he must have been part of her life as she was helping her go to school.

[@johncoll4456]

End of story.

[@joank.0421]

Crazy how many people are counting on student loan forgiveness. Also, if you attended the college and got the degree, pay it back.

[@talyahr3302]

Well student debt is immoral and stupid from an economic standpoint. It shouldn't exist in the first place so that's like saying I can't believe how many people are counting on Abraham Lincoln to emancipate the slaves. Should we make kids pay for their high school diplomas as well? I mean that technically allows them to get jobs and has value so why should so many students be getting that for free? They should pay it back.

[@chrollo7even85]

@@talyahr3302 “immoral” lol college is a choice, highschool is mandated. Mandated is free, if you choose to go to college, pay it back

[@cincinnatislider]

I think a woke bot was sent here by the algorithm.

[@JusVen]

@@talyahr3302 those kids parents pay for their high school education through taxes. Once done with high school you're an adult and have to make your own financial decisions and pay your way.

[@kristinapaxton9686]

Crazy how education isn't free -like it was for our British parents ;) This is the internet btw and thus you are talking to the world lol.

[@plants4thewin]

Seems odd. I went to college when I was 18, and I knew how it was being funded. She didnt know anything? Just going to class? I knew what grants, what loans, what work study?...did she think money was falling out of the sky? I dont believe she didnt know.

[@Kinksgalore]

Agreed. 👍

[@AnimeBeefRandoms]

More like she thought she didn't have to pay it back but now his dad wants the money back lol.

[@esonon5210]

It's possible her parents told her not to worry about it and she went along with it. My mom did the same to me when I started school and really pushed the idea of only her worrying about it.

[@joycew.6531]

Ya really

[@random-nz7dy]

Agree. I just don't see how it's possible to have no idea. I think the only reasonable explanation is that she assumed he was going to pay back the loan and not expect her to. Even so I just hesitate to believe it

[@DanielaSanchez-xf6fh]

When I was in college, my parents took out some loans for me. I never once thought in my mind that they would pay them back. I knew it was my debt that they were taking out for me. Morally she knows she should pay it back but it seems she’s looking for an answer that will get her out of paying it.

[@gcromer903]

I think the difference is that you knew about the loans your parent took out. She did not. She graduated and Then he said "you owe me." Huge difference.

[@WizeIce1]

Exactly!

[@COINsimp2024]

@@gcromer903 honestly it's impossible for her not to know they took out loans. They require way too much info. She's just cheap.

[@jarelchico]

100%

[@emmanuelmartinez5973]

I agree. She is trying to blame him but it is still her responsibility. to know the cost of her school and and how much aid she needed She should have known that loans were being taken out. She should pay. She is just trying to blame him.

[@donniej344]

She needs to mail the check into the student loan company herself. Ain't no handing over a check that size to another person besides the company at which the money is due.

[@BrothaontheGo]

Right! My thoughts exactly. That man's gonna spend that money and that would further strain the relationship.

[@talyahr3302]

Very good point. He could be using the money towards anything else for all she knows. She should at the very least get documentation for each payment going through since I'm sure they give you a download able receipt.

[@barnabusdoyle4930]

That’s assuming that there is an early payoff option for this loan which a lot of these loans don’t have that

[@mmp495]

Handing that money to dad is like giving a monkey a loaded gun.

[@konye618]

Do not give it directly to him, period!! And get a paper signed that says you paid off your side of the debt. You should also calculate the interest on that because I'm sure there is lots of interest

[@Lon1001]

there is no "her side of the debt"... Parent Plus loans are taken on only by a fully consenting parent and the student is in no way legally liable. As for morally liable that depends on several things which clearly this young woman is trying to understand.

[@pey7777]

I'm pretty sure you can submit student loan payments on behalf of another borrower. That may be the best option here, because if dad gets the $65k in his account, even if you see him submit the payment online, he could easily cancel it as soon as you leave because it takes like 2-3 days to process

[@roberteskew7320]

Yeah he is playing games. Smells fishy

[@kristic4472]

We never confirmed in the conversation that the money actually went to her schooling, we're all just assuming it. That could explain why she didn't know about it

[@richconrad4554]

My tax person even told me to see how much i paid in interest on the parent plus loans, and she can claim that on my taxes. I can login and pay the parent plus loans.

[@landlordnation]

Wow! It's amazing how little yall think of this dad who took out this loan for his daughter in the first place. I didn't hear anything about mom signing for a loan for the daughter.

[@richconrad4554]

@@landlordnation after my parents got a divorce, ALL parent plus loans got stuck with my dad... 100% not fair that he got stuck with that debt, alimony, and over half his retirement gone. I'm paying every cent that he helped me with! But, that was also the agreement when i started school...

[@littleripper312]

What's she's forgetting is him taking out that loan for her is why she has all that money in the bank.

[@susieblanco2722]

Not technically ….

[@gcromer903]

Not so much. I think there is something to be said for telling someone you are doing something for them so they can make the decision if whether they want to deal with the repercussions. Otherwise it comes across as a $65K gotcha.

[@christopheraquino4711]

I have my kids apply for their own SL , I paid for their community college and they paid there further education like bachelors and they know they will be paying the loan amount. Some kids will try to milk the blood out of you

[@COINsimp2024]

Exactly

[@COINsimp2024]

@@susieblanco2722 literally

[@gandsmeyer2957]

Can you write the check directly to the bank giving the loan? We had a similar thing happen, but we had a parent who did not ask for us to pay their parent plus loan. We made the decision (spouse and I) to pay off what was left on the loan anyways. We paid the money directly to the bank. My parent never pressured/guilt tripped us to pay it. It made us feel good to do it.

[@frankm2385]

It was for your education Anna. Pay your bill and let that be a life lesson. Don’t do that to your children.

[@steveexcell7017]

Good advice. No one goes off the college with no clue how their tuition, books and living expenses are paid. She needs to send the payment to the lender, not her father. She should thank her father for helping her get through college.

[@Abmarp]

Mhm

[@ryanvboy]

Isn’t there a similar caller whose parents took out a loan for his education? I think Dave’s answer was along the line of: “you are not financially obligated to pay pack the loans, but you are morally obligate to.”

[@JoelJoel321]

Yeah. And Dave was right.

[@Lon1001]

perhaps... on the other hand if the father had the money on hand to cash flow her education, would he now be entitled to ask her to give him $65k? This caller was of the mindset that her parents were entirely providing for the costs (regardless of how they were paying). For me, I plan to fund my own child's education and I don't expect a cent back. I plan to not borrow, but even if I do why would I saddle my child with that debt?

[@jimroscovius]

No, there's no moral obligation. He has only said that if there was an agreement beforehand that she would pay. Here, there was no agreement. She didn't ask for the loan. The deadbeat dad should pay.

[@jimroscovius]

@@Lon1001 Agreed!! We paid cash for most of our kids college because we saved. I would NEVER say, "You owe me." Only deadbeats do that.

[@threestans9096]

@@jimroscovius i haven’t heard the video yet, but if it’s what you say- basically a “forced gift”, then yeah. No agreement, no moral obligation.

[@lipglossed]

She can afford it so she should just pay it off and be free of it. I do know a lot of people who's parents pushed hard for them to go to "a good college", said they would pay for it, took out those parent plus loans, then turned around after their kid graduated when the payments were due and said their kid had to pay it off. A lot of time the kid had no idea and it just makes it a crummy situation for everyone.

[@MrTmenzo]

My dad took a loan out for me to finance schooling and wants me to pay it back whaa!

[@PrePre_]

So she didn't know AT ALL? She didn't look at her awards letter to see that a good chunk of her education wasn't covered? First, she needs to change her mindset. Her father wasn't taking advantage of her. Your father took on the burden of $200k in loans to pay for you and your siblings education. She needs to blame the college system. Yes, he should've communicated this better to her because we're all naive at 17/18 years old.

[@karoosten232]

I just wonder who she thought was paying for her education then.

[@PrePre_]

@@karoosten232 Right!! 🤷🏾‍♀️

[@Cclo215]

Why would a parent burden his kids like that without making the guidelines clear ahead of time? She was 17! It’s his irresponsible mistake, and she should not pay him and not feel guilty.

[@SamWesting]

From a legal standpoint, caller has no obligation. But even 17 year olds know college is not free. There’s fault on both sides of this situation, more so w/the father since he was the adult at the time. But since the caller was the beneficiary of this ill-conceived loan, she should make some effort towards rectifying this. Walking away w/o paying a cent is going to result in an emotional cost to the caller’s conscience that she’ll have to live with for the rest of her life

[@mmp495]

Screw that! Pay it off. Don't owe anything especially when family is involved. Set yourself free.

[@nkyryry]

She said he’s totally cool with living with the debt. Has no problem with even digging his hole deeper. Give him $65K to pay off your loan and you’re gonna see him in a new F-150 telling you he took care of it.

[@landlordnation]

How little yall think of this man who stuck his neck out for his daughter. Nothing about mom who didn't do anything. Sounds like dad is getting a raw deal here.

[@Marcus-pj4yw]

@@landlordnation 👍

[@debbieframpton3857]

For this reason I would never take on debt for my daughter's. Where does she think her dad got this money?

[@landlordnation]

@@debbieframpton3857 she doesn't care, she really doesn't want to pay it.

[@ebonytoilesechandler7679]

@@landlordnation yeah you are right! Where is the mom, my dad is in his seventies I would not want to put this type of burden on him. After she paid at that back she needs to start putting money in a savings the build it back up and that's really her responsibility because it was her education.

[@larrybarbee4916]

I can’t see myself having someone take out a loan for me under the belief they will pay it then try to hold me responsible. No, you agreed to pay it, now pay, unless he became disabled or suffered some kind of hardship.

[@naokihasegawa9243]

“Taken advantage of”? Did you not go to the school that set you up for the life you have now? Am I missing something?

[@xiomaragomez6649]

Agreed. She went to school, has better future because of it but she feels entitled to not pay for it.i don't like how they give advice on this. Is also cultural component. I couldn't dare to say that to my parent. I've been there.

[@Lon1001]

yeah she was never taken advantage of, her father didn't receive any advantage by taking on this debt and/or paying for her college. Maybe she has just demonstrated a lack of gratitude and he's simply manipulating the situation to teach her a lesson? Either way, she's not legally liable for a cent, and morally it's between her and her father, but HE is the one that took on the debt - she just accepted his financial support (like all kids are supposed to do until they are on their own)

[@katiejon17]

The “parent-plus” loans are taken out BY the parent. This is his debt, not hers.

[@mxerb5912]

She prayed about it and doesn’t feel like paying it off. Where did she think the money came from?

[@siegfriedbraun5447]

Who cares? Whether Satan or Yahweh, she did NOT obligate herself.

[@TimeisUp22]

You have no idea how naive/spoiled the generation x kept millennials back in our teen years. She probably didn’t even know school required money. Lots of parents just told their teens to sign a paper and get out the house. Horrible guidance on their end.

[@DisabilityExams]

@@TimeisUp22 Good joke!

[@Daijinaa]

It didn't come from him. Plus she was not included in the decision or discussion to borrow it in the first place. He made that decision on his own. But if she wants to pay it FOR him then she should get a document drawn up from an attorney which says she has given the amount to her dad and have it state that even though she is not legally responsible for this loan she is paying it now and also is not to be responsible for it in the future if the father does not apply the money towards the loan. This gives her the opportunity to not have it hanging over her head and also keeping the responsibility where it belongs, on the person who applied for the loan.

[@siegfriedbraun5447]

@@Daijinaa nah. Just get someone to write "thanks, dad" in some calligraphy card. Done.

[@ApostleBabajide]

Didn't she know the parents financial situation when she was growing up? You attended a school without asking your parents how your tuition fees were been paid. Of course she knew they took out a loan but she wasn't expecting the dad to tell her to pay it back because she feels its her father's responsibility. Grow up women and pay the loan if you can.

[@katiejon17]

She literally said her father walked out on the family when she was 12 years old. Her dad sounds like a complete loser.

[@ApostleBabajide]

We don't know why the father walked away but that's not our concern here. Our concern is she went to school and everything was paid for and she pretend as if she did not know where the money came from. If the parents could afford it they wouldn't take loan.

[@dt6750]

she is willing to pay the 65k. her concerns is whether the money will be allocated toward her portion of the loan and how to make it happened.

[@katiejon17]

@@dt6750 If you think you heard her "willing to pay" it, you aren't really good at breaking down what they were saying. She feels duped. She doesn't want to pay it back, but her "father" is guilting her. Any parent that takes out PARENT Plus Loans and expects their kids to pay them back WITHOUT a clear agreement on paper to do so... they're even worse than these loan companies.

[@annakoncz9413]

Nothing is free in life young lady.

[@daffydlwellen1270]

He father paid for her education and LATER tells her that he took out a loan and now owes him for a loan he expects to be forgiven? That is like me giving you a car and four years later telling you that all I really did was take out a loan for it and BTW, you owe me for that loan. Nonsense.

[@voidfroze]

Which, crazily enough, also happened to a caller on this show lol

[@AnimeCTCFirebird]

Where's Dave? I wanna hear his response to this!

[@Cathy-xi8cb]

Dave is trying to groom younger people to take over his show. It won't work. The month after he departs, viewship will shrink dramatically. None of these folks has his style and charisma. They are like watching paint dry in comparison to the bluster and dynamism of the master himself.

[@Eyore82]

Please get an attorney before you do anything financially with him!

[@nicolcacola]

She has the money sitting around to pay off these loans as an adult and she's hesitating because she feels like she shouldn't have to? Have some self respect.

[@CrackberryMe]

Facts !!!

[@lindalentz5093]

👏👏👏

[@susieblanco2722]

It’s not “sitting around”.. her & her husband worked hard & saved…

[@Chalk89]

Yes, because she didn’t have college debt…

[@Primitive_Code]

The father manipulated her, does that not count for something?

[@doompod]

At most, I would compromise and split it. If you never had any insight on him taking out the loan for you to go to school, or that you would have to repay him, you are not responsible for it. It doesn’t matter if he assumed you would pay it back and never told you.

[@TopVillain]

No judge will ever believe that story “I had no idea that they took out a loan to go to Harvard” judge: so you thought college was free? After everything we see on TV and KZbin about universities ripping off the students?

[@Lon1001]

@@TopVillain this caller has zero legal liability to pay any of this debt, it's not her debt at all. So it would never even go before a judge. This call entirely has to do with the morality of giving in to her father's demands to pay him back the money he spent to put her through college (without and sort of agreement beforehand that she was going to be expected to).

[@doompod]

@@TopVillain You don’t have to take out a loan to pay for college…She could’ve been completely unaware of how he was paying for her school.

[@TopVillain]

@@Lon1001 the fact that she has already been giving him payments is grounds for a lawsuit. All the father has to say is she agreed to pay it back and she said on the call that she has paid him payments prior to the student loan pause.

[@TopVillain]

@@doompod I doubt that.

[@thejakelegion]

This was the most unbelievably aggravating Ramsey video I've ever seen. This show and this advice is trash without Dave.

[@JazzyMarineVet]

Get a cashiers check from your bank, put in the MEMO line the account number it is to be credited to. Send to directly to the lender. The LENDER will GLADLY, accept payment!

[@lovesophia19]

Huh? You should pay him back… you are the one who used that money, not him.

[@tekearnsiii]

In no way can I imagine Dave being so nice to his woman. I can only hear Dave yelling that she is obligated to her debt, while he would agree she is only obligated morally not legally, he would tell her to pay it off TODAY. He, also, would settle for nothing short of her calling the loan company herself and paying with a check while not allowing the money to transfer through the dad’s hands, nor would he approve of giving the loan company electronic access to her bank account!

[@paulinoaz]

Don't allow debt collectors access to your bank account, not loan companies

[@kayb6803]

I think there is more to this story regarding how her dad deals with money. I think she’s being a bit gracious and not trying to throw him completely under the bus on a public show. Her dad comes off as a bit financially immature and a tad manipulative. You can hear it in the way she constantly talks about feeling “tied to him”. I bet this isn’t the first time he’s created scenarios that resulted in his kids owing him in some way so they feel captive to his toxic influences. I can relate. My father bought me a fancy used foreign car that had rare parts as a first car. Something I never asked for. He handed me the bill and demanded I pay him $350/mo as car payment until I paid it off. A car note that I wouldn’t have had with a brand new car that would have been under warranty. The used car constantly broke down and I spent whole paychecks on repairs and paying him back. All the while, he bragged to his friends about how he “helped” me. It was financial abuse, narcissist style.

[@PInk77W1]

I was divorced My daughter came to me at 18 and asked if I could help her with college. I said on one condition. No student loans. She said deal. I paid for her college and she has a masters degree and no student loan debt. She don’t owe me a penny

[@edgehodl4832]

and ur point is?

[@PInk77W1]

@@edgehodl4832 no student loans

[@marysimmons1]

I agree with most of the advice. Since she "benefited" from the student loans, she should pay. Would her decision to attend college have been different if she agreed ahead of time to repay the loans? Her father assumed he was taking the loans out in her behalf because she was unable to do so herself. He likely assumed she would pay them back. Overall, if able, pay the portion you feel you would have agreed too and be done with it. Move on and prosper.

[@JazzyMarineVet]

Agree. You received the benefit of the education, def need to pay it back, directly to the lender. Either lump sum, or set it up to make payments, montly or quarterly as your budget can afford it.

[@rosc2022]

Or did she benefit? She needs to verify that first.

[@katiejon17]

This is a loan taken out by a PARENT. It is not for the student to repay.

[@marysimmons1]

@@katiejon17 ...for the BENEFIT of the "adult" child, who will use the loan to pay for their college education, to earn more money in their career. Parents should not feel obligated to take out loans on behalf of their adult children.

[@katiejon17]

I agree - no parent is obligated to take out a loan to pay for their kid’s college. But he did. That’s HIS to pay back. He walked out when she was 12, and took this loan out without even discussing it with her, and now telling her that SHE’s responsible for repaying it? Is her signature on the loan? No. He’s a lousy excuse for a father, that’s for sure.

[@Lon1001]

OTOH, if the father didn't take on the loan to pay for his daughter's post-secondary educations and just cash flowed it without entering a formal agreement to repay him, would he still be asking for $65k to reimburse him for the expense?

[@DanielGarcia-zz9eg]

See, this why I never help family with money. Even my son or daughter. Want a car, college, house. Work for it or pull a loan with the bank . This way u owe the bank, your problem. Money always hurts family Its a principal thing . I gave u money, I expect u to pay it back , especially if you doing very well . Pay it back or stay away from your dad forever

[@goalie2998]

This has got to be a generational thing. Everyone thinks things should be free. The caller in theory went to school and should be in a position to pay the debts. If her degree was a useless one that won't support her bills, then it was a waste

[@katiejon17]

It’s a parent’s loan. That a parent chooses to take out. The students do not take it out, the PARENTS do. It is not anyone else’s responsibility to repay it.

[@Michael-vf2mw]

That doesn't seem to be the case with this call. In my understanding, her dad went behind her back and borrowed the money without telling her or involving her in the decision. It was not her choice.

[@cathy7824]

He was wrong for not involving her in the loan process. With that being said I'd pay it back if she's able. Wash your hands of it.

[@maureenogorman8740]

My parents and I always assumed both they would help with college and I would help with college. Mom heard a great idea from a friend have ME take out extra student loans and mom would pay it because interest was lower. Smart plan. Mom died. :(. If you take out a loan, expect to pay it back. Lesson learned.

[@stevenbeach748]

I’m sorry to hear that. Mom should have had life insurance at least for the amount of your student loans. Somebody else (you) was counting on her income.

[@Anthony-zr2hn]

They skip over the fact that she didn't even know about these Parent PLUS Loans. There was no agreement between the two for him to take out the loans and for her to pay them back. Given the background she is being too nice in this situation to "cut ties". If she wants to cut ties then just stop paying them and leave him be. There has to be a middle ground here too, $65K is a LOT of money to just give someone for mental health reasons. As a generous offer, give the dad half ($35k) say I'm done paying these, I didn't even know these loans existed in the first place, the rest is on you. I think they're way off on their suggestion.

[@johnsteele8073]

Are you kidding? She owes the money. SHE SPENT IT

[@DFullerLisa]

I'd get an Attorney and have this transaction be legally documented as to what it's for.

[@ebonytoilesechandler7679]

Yeah you may be right. Most attorney says 80% of their legal cases are from family and close friends.

[@amythinks]

Why? There is no legal obligation. This is just to make peace with her dad. She gives him the money, he could use it for whatever he wants cause the debt is legally his. That being said, I wouldn't give him the money. They answered this one very poorly. Dave is rolling his eyes.

[@DFullerLisa]

@Amy Lucas a legal contract states why she is giving her dad the money. He has to sign for it agreeing to it. He won't be able to manipulate and trust it later.

[@tdawgboss8598]

Nope. Wouldn’t pay. If Dad truly did not mention this loan from the get go, moral obligation clause goes out the window as well IMO

[@kristic4472]

if she's giving him the money to pay the loan back, then have him sign an agreement that he received the money for that purpose, the exact amount, and that he will no longer be hounding her about it again. Make it a money order/casher check and keep the receipt forever, along with the agreement. Otherwise, see if she can pay it directly to the loan company and get the receipt "paid in full", and also keep that forever. I wouldn't trust giving him that much money, he already went behind her back for this debt. Good luck.

[@edhcb9359]

She can just pay the account directly. She doesn’t need to give the money to her father.

[@landlordnation]

Are you crazy? He didn't go behind her back, If he's such a bad guy why did he take out 200K in loans for his kids? The bottom line is she doesn't want to pay the loan and is looking for a way out. She wants to stick her dad with the bill for her education.

[@edhcb9359]

@@landlordnation She doesn’t have to look for away out because they are not her loans. And no he’s not a great Dad because he’s trying to saddle her with his debt.

[@dsr8223]

I'd have asked whether there was anything in the divorce settlement about his responsibility to pay for college. And, was he diligent about paying a sufficient amount of child support until she turned 18?

[@COINsimp2024]

Parents aren't required to pay for it period, so I doubt it'd be in there.

[@TheLivedeath]

@@COINsimp2024 It could've been a stipulation from the mom that gives a portion of her settlement to save for daughter's college tuition.

[@666dynomax]

@@COINsimp2024 are you a lawyer

[@antonioreyes2692]

Sadly in Puerto Rico it is due to legal age is 21 and not 18 like most parts of the world…

[@markobasi359]

@@COINsimp2024 they definitely are if its in the settlement. Either way he signed for it, he's on the hook for it. She's doing him a favor at this point

[@hawkeyetec]

Get an attorney. This needs to be paid directly to the financial institution.

[@austintomkewitz7206]

What you need an attorney for it's daddy's debt his problem he financed stupid

[@mannymotta3314]

This doesn't seem like that hard of a decision. If you feel (which from the call seems like) you need to repay the money for the school then repay the money and move on. As far as what the money goes towards that is not your concern. He is an adult and if the chooses not pay the loan and continue to be in debt then that is his choice and his consequence. If you are not legally responsible for the loan then it is up to him. Just make sure to have a document showing you paid the amount to him and have him sign it to protect yourself.

[@doompod]

It sounds like she’s trying to control him too. She doesn’t like him being in debt, and she doesn’t trust that he would actually put it towards the debt.

[@ryanperreault6453]

I think she’s more resentful for what he is (as she mentioned he bailed on the family when she was 12). She was put in a weird spot and she’s angry. She has every right to trash what he’s doing, since he ditched her when she was 12 and right now.

[@startingtech3900]

@@ryanperreault6453 booo hooo parents leave all the time. i still speak with my father who did the same thing and started a new family. women are too emotional. i am now on good terms with my step sister by choice.

[@agentooe33AD]

Paying "her share" to her dad doesn't mean it's resolved. If her sibling can't pay "their share" then he's likely to come back to her to pay the rest off. As stated, she's not legally tied to the loan. If she really wants to pay, then she should first discuss with her siblings to see what their positions are before she does anything.

[@keithrichardson9127]

Pay it back

[@bethanyroberts4744]

😯

[@webfreakz]

nah

[@Vividlol]

Her father put her in the position to be as successful as she is career wise but she feels like her dad hustled her? What a piece of work.

[@Jane5720]

So she wanted him to pay for her four years of school, I do have to say that some of this definitely is her father’s fault because this should’ve been a conversation even before she started college of who is going to pay for it. Make sure you that you have a total documentation legally so there’s no way that he could come back and say that you owe him money what he does with the money after you pay it it’s up to him, what is the interest that you have to pay on this money have you considered that?

[@random-nz7dy]

How do you not know this was there? When you go to college they tell you how much it's going to cost and you know how much you got in scholarships. For people who say this has happened to them, how exactly did they get surprised? Did they think the money for college just fell out of the sky?

[@TheLivedeath]

Without hearing the dad's side of the story. Parent plus loans work same as student loans where they get paid directly to the school for tuition. Any leftovers will get paid back to the student. The dad either misled the caller during her entire college years, or the caller is being naive/dishonest about her side of the story.

[@onguardmedia6107]

If I need to pay back for everything my father did or pay for me I will not have enough money to do it.

[@gladlock]

It's college, people cosign with their parents knowing that after graduation, the kids make the payments

[@TheNoobstalker]

Parent Plus loans are in both the student and the parents names. So unless her dad did forged her signature she should known about it.

[@GreenBeats11]

False. Only the parent signed the master promissory note for the Parent PLUS Loan. The student is not responsible for repaying a Parent PLUS Loan. They’re under no legal obligation to do so. Morally, the father is in the wrong here. He had a responsibility to convey his intentions to his daughter before he signed this loan. If this story is truly cut and dry i.e. the father never mentioned, ever, a single expectation of payback then he is morally bankrupt for saying "btw you owe me 65k" after she graduates. Not saying that is what happened because I do doubt her story. Also, while she was in school she should have realized school isn't free, she isn't paying for it, so who is and how?

[@startingtech3900]

she knew she just expected her old man to pay 100 percent

[@Lon1001]

wrong, a parent PLUS loan is taken out directly by the parents and the student is in no way liable.

[@andreaj8319]

You can’t file bankruptcy on a student loan 😬

[@AO-nr7kl]

If you choose to pay it all checks need to be made out to the entity or pay it directly. Do not give him the money for him to spend. Also make sure your husband is in full agreement. You do not want to damage your marriage to placate your father.

[@jgarciatoledo]

If the loan is not under my name and my father did not talk to me and explained it to me before taking the loan for me, I will never pay him the money. 🙂

[@raallen1468]

@, Caller.... Pay off your share of the loan, directly to the lender, then sever ties to your dad.

[@Lon1001]

if she's going to sever ties then it would be better to not pay him a dime.

[@StoicInsights5320]

If something is not legally binded to you dont have to pay it and if they try to get you up in trouble get a lawyer and take them to court.

[@benvasilinda9729]

Did she get the education with or without the loan? If she used the money to get a college degree and that college degree has helped her in the work force and her income, then pay it back. If it didn’t, refused to use that college degree for future jobs and get employment as a person with no college degree. The loan is on him but she is using it to further her career and life. I’m assuming she would a non college graduate without the loan. Younger people today want everything for free but demand the benefits off the back of others. Younger people today do not want to earn their way in life. That’s just the truths

[@newmexicoballer3867]

Giving money to her father to pay the loan back is bad advice. Something tells me that the money will stay in his pockets.

[@shawnfarley3467]

I wish we could have seen Dave's answer to this question. I think he would have told her if he's not worried about the debt and it's not in your name then don't give him the money. Say he doesn't pay it towards the debt and eventually does get the forgiveness. Then he is making money off of his child which o don't think is right.

[@henryanona1640]

The Parent + loan are for parents to pay for their children's school. If he couldn't afford it, he shouldn't have taken it out.

[@gladlock]

she wouldn't have gone to college otherwise. She is doing well now. It was a worthwhile favor he did for her, it's her turn to use that degree to cover the cost. He likely paid interest on it while she was in school

[@JC-21470]

Pretty simple. just have a conversation with dad that states " I will pay my share" that share is 65K and pay it direct to the loan and now you are done and if ever brings it up again you can simply say "I paid" and that is the end of the story.

[@TheLivedeath]

Good idea in theory. But once she does this, the relationship will be forever strained. The two of them needs to have a conversation on how this situation was miscommunicated the whole time she was in college and reach some kind of understanding on how to resolve it.

[@JC-21470]

@@TheLivedeath - Good in theory, dad does not want to have that conversation because ultimately he did not communicate anything to the daughter and now is in a bind. The daughter should just pay it, not hold judgement and move on. If Dad has an issue with this it is surely HIS problem at this point.

[@levibond2555]

@@TheLivedeath The relationship will be forever strained no matter what she does. This is a toxic mess. There is no reasoning with him. She will end up blocking his phone number for her own good.

[@cju4300]

Did dad take loan for $65k and used all on daughter's education? It is not clear if he took part of the money to himself. I think dad is not being reasonable. I would take the $65k loan to help my daughter but would never make her pay for it. If dad insists in getting paid, pay to the lender directly and get him off the creditor's hook. If daughter pays to dad directly, there is no guarantee he will pay off the loan. After this, avoid any money dealings with dad.

[@britneeg]

I was thinking the same thing. Is she sure that he used it on her education?

[@DrunkUnicorns]

Oh. She thought college was free? Nice!

[@dc76384]

Exactly

[@ravenestrella2310]

He should have been up front about the costs with her, though, letting her know before she went to school that this is what she would owe him if he took out the loan, and worked out a plan with her that was to both their liking, not just slammed her with this upon her graduating. There would have been other options she could have had at that point…scholarships, getting a job, etc. that would have made the amount owed far less, even to the point of her owing nothing. People have graduated before with no debt, whatsoever. She could have been in the same position had he been honest with her. It’s called having just a bit of transparency and open communication in a relationship. Goes a long way in making a relationship work and being decent to those you care about.

[@dc76384]

No matter what dad is the bad guy. What was he supposed to do? Tell princess ' Sorry college is too expensive for us right now.' Your fancy degree costs big $$$ all you educated people with your fancy degrees can't figure that out. It's OK for anybody but you to pay the cost.

[@dawnbishop1261]

No and just NO….it’s all his debt. I would never try to pass our parent plus loan off on our child. That’s BS

[@juniorco3109]

First of all, I'd want to confirm her financial status. Baby Step #, Emergency Fund balance to really make sure that she could afford to "Pay off this family debt". Then I'd want to make sure that all the money from the loan was actually used for student bills and tuition. If not then my answer would be way different. Then I would delve into the should I or shouldn't I aspect of this caller's question.

[@littleripper312]

Write a contract up before giving him the money

[@jeremywheeler8417]

They haven't stopped taking payments, they stopped charging interest. I knew about debt before I was 15. What's your excuse? You should pay up.

[@carlycastillo883]

As someone who payed their way through college, it’s YOUR loan. Yes, he took the loan out. But for YOUR benefit and YOUR education… why do you not feel morally obligated to pay for your own student loans?

[@EDUAROSOLAS]

Because it is not her loan lol

[@carlycastillo883]

@@EDUAROSOLAS Legally, no. By all other accounts, moral and otherwise, yes.

[@EDUAROSOLAS]

@@carlycastillo883 No. Morally, you are not responsible for a loan your parents took out without your knowledge. That should be obvious.

[@EDUAROSOLAS]

@@minoozolala So using your same logic, you should pay people back for gifts you receive?

[@EDUAROSOLAS]

@@minoozolala that is mindless lol. The gift was an experience and there was no conversation about monetary repayment.

[@kevinkalappurayil]

This was a terrible answer to this call. I don’t think Dave would tell her to pay this off for her father. He’s a grown up. Advise him with love. But he has to do his part

[@Rashad3000]

I think it all depends on the arrangement you had before he took the loan out.

[@Primitive_Code]

There is no arrangement. A 17 year old should never have to go through this. It was purely emotional and he manipulated her. He's responsible for this loan.

[@Rashad3000]

@@Primitive_Code thanks for the feedback. I commented based off the title. I’ll watch the entire thing when I get home and provide my feedback.

[@KC-dr3cg]

Her education is her ticket to pay this! Once it ispaid..she can still benefit from that loan. I say"pay it"..He dad maybe has he side of the pancake.

[@drtij_dzienz]

Paying Parent Plus loans is 100% parent’s responsibility. Lame advice from RS here

[@HisLove4You]

He paid for her college with that loan. She owes him the money - I'd pay it off. I feel like there may be another side to this story . .

[@Lon1001]

Most parents pay for their kids college but few ever have the gall to ask their kids to pay it back - it's part of being a parent.

[@HisLove4You]

@@Lon1001 No, its not. Further, not everyone can afford it. My friends children put in for grants and worked for scholarships. They are young and able bodied. They own their degrees. Some took loans as well. Give Suze Orman a listen on this topic when u have a chance.

[@gladlock]

My parents cosigned my student loands. It was completely understood it was my debt, and they would be on the hook if I didn't make my paymentss

[@HealthCoachHayley]

That’s so much money, I think you should talk to an accountant about the legal implications of you writing a check directly to the debt. You giving him that much money is going to set him up to pay taxes on that amount so you need accountant assistance on this matter.

[@troyeager8877]

We had to cosign for my daughter to go to school. Not by choice but either we did or she could not go. But we did tell her it was her debt for her career not ours.

[@Vydio]

This situation is a little different. The caller says she was not informed of the loan her father took out.

[@Big-Government-Is-The-Problem]

just that 65k invested could be worth around 3.4m after 35 years with a 12% average annual return... when you look at it from that perspective it changed things. it almost sounds like she is wanting to pay it and cut him out of her life completely, and that would make no sense. the only reason you'd pay it would be to maintain a happy relationship with him. if you're gonna run for the hills, obviously dont pay and have an extra 3.4m by retirement... i feel like one of the Ramsey personalities should always do the quick math on most calls where they are talking about investing money or not, to give a different perspective, because 65k doesnt sound like much, but 3.4m is, and thats what the 65k can become. thats literally a fully funded very comfortable retirement

[@om617yota8]

Nope. No discussion before hand, I didn't agree to pay it before hand, come to me afterwards and say "you owe me $65k" ain't going to fly. If I'd agreed beforehand, then you bet I'm upholding my end of the bargain, but I'm not paying debts I didn't agree to.

[@ej2315]

I wanna know why did she accept his help?

[@yvonnemclaughlin4324]

Pay it through a 3rd party like a lawyer with a written disclosure or no money is given. This is a business transaction. If he turns down the offer then he doesn't get another penny.

[@Lon1001]

no need for a lawyer at all, caller is under no legal obligations at all.

[@Smokey187um1]

She benefitted from the education not her father

[@alko-ovialko5816]

Hosts:the caller has the money pay your debt off! Asap

[@deanalbertson7203]

How about being grateful that her dad helped her pay for college, and grateful that she's racked up so much in savings?

[@TheRealAbrahamLincoln]

If he isn't paying the loan, then no, he isn't helping her pay for college.

[@phillipruane]

I wouldn’t do this to my kids. It’s messed up.

[@erineilise]

But he didn't pay for college unless he's paying this loan off. If he took out this loan for her to pay, he set her up to start her life with a negative net worth without her knowledge. Having the conversation about the options could have led to her either knowing what she would be getting into and how it would affect her life OR choosing to cash flow college. It was a manipulative move on his part.

[@roberteskew7320]

He is a manupulater. She will regret paying him. And will regret if she doesn't pay him. Been down this road.

[@yamamancha]

Well, if dad had been honest with her during her selection process, she would have been in a position to make a decision that wouldn't result in $65k in debt. Instead, he tried to bury the guilt of being an absentee dad by proclaiming that he'd cover her tuition. However, time and mid-life debt can have an astounding effect on guilt... Now she's once again a burden that he can't be bothered with. There is no gratitude to be given here.

[@JS-sv4ol]

This is a sticky situation from the start but look at the source - dad shouldn’t have taken the loan out for the kids without telling them The moral dilemma is also real; dad can lose everything if he defaults right? All of this is messy and stinks

[@Primitivegarage915]

Lol man this is an odd call. She didn’t expect to pay the debt back? why?

[@BagsNBaguettes_327]

Are you kidding me? If you care for your father, you would not make him responsible for YOUR loans despite whether you accepted or not. You went to college, where did you think the money came from? Her relationship with her father is tihs. Ana you are wrong for that. What kind of a daughter are you? You have the money and you got the tshirt. Pay it off. I wish Dave answered this call.

[@brandigarza7517]

It is not her loan if it was she would have legal ties which she doesn’t he walked out of her life and your talking about what kind of daughter she is get over yourself she never agreed to this and it it his responsibility to pay off HIS loan

[@BagsNBaguettes_327]

@@brandigarza7517 you must be related to this woman.

[@kaseyclark8286]

I think if she’s going to give that money to pay off the loan she needs it in writing saying it’s been paid in full when/if she does.

[@travisclark7892]

She didn't have a problem using the money at the time to pay for her education but has a problem paying it back.

[@bettysmith4527]

She did not know the father was taking a loan, he did not involve her in that decision or inform her he was borrowing money for her education. She went under the assumption that he maybe had money saved for the education, not her fault, all his.

[@travisclark7892]

@@bettysmith4527 you obviously didn't read what I stated.

[@debbieframpton3857]

Yes it was your debt pay it back. If you're worried about whether he will pay it off or not you go pay it

[@rightsaidmatt2632]

Why do people make things so complicated. The loan is completely irrelevant to the conversation. The dad paid for her college education and now wants to be reimbursed, that's it. So either you feel morally obligated to do it or not. No one can tell you that, it's your decision.

[@vladamirkb1]

He borrowed for you, it benefited you. Pay him back.

[@Lon1001]

Even he had cash and didn't need to borrow, it benefitted her. But that is part of the responsibility of being a parent. If he paid her expenses with cash savings, using your logic morally she should still pay him back... but in real life that rarely ever happens especially without some prior understanding.

[@mikesawyer4707]

I would ask this caller, what do you think is the right thing to do?

[@ktsterlin9304]

I feel like I listened to a different Dave call in the past than other commenters. IMO, he never said the kid is morally obligated if that was not the agreement. If it was an agreement between child and parent, absolutely pay it because you said you would. This is the reason Dave is against Parent Plus loans, the parent signed and was not qualified. I remember a kid calling and he agreed to pay them then wanted to change his mind when he realized he wasn’t legally obligated. That’s a moral issue. If that was not stated, just assuming your kid will pay when you say so is manipulative. You’re the parent have the conversation before making wild assumptions about large sums of money and possibly ruining your relationship with your kids. I’m gonna find those other calls lol to see if I’m remembering history correct or if I’m rewriting it.

[@rnoemi4]

She needs to take responsibility. It’s YOUR degree. Point blank.

[@joyaustin6581]

Yes

[@user-lr5ys4nk5w]

On the question about paying it and wondering if it will be paid to the loan, she can pay directly on parent plus loans. My wife and I have done this, but we knew the money was ultimately our responsibility to pay back because my wife is the who spent it. She's honestly looking for an excuse not to pay it, and speaking about your father like he did you wrong when he was linking himself financially to your education and future earing power in my book She's morally bankrupt.