“We make $27,500/month…Why am I stressed about money?”

Ramit Sethi of I Will Teach You To Be Rich talks to Kait, 36, and Em, 35. They’re married and pursuing IVF as a means to expand their family. But a misalignment on money stands in the way of a truly shared vision for their future. Em shuts down and delegates responsibility. Kait frantically checks accounts and worries about daily spending.
-
💲 RAMIT’S MONEY MINUTE NEWSLETTER
* Each Tuesday, I share instant, actionable tips to improve your finances. Get the emails here: iwt.com/moneym...
💡 RAMIT’S PODCAST NEWSLETTER
* I share new ways to think about money every Saturday. Get the emails here: iwt.com/podcas...
🙌 GET HELP FROM RAMIT SETHI
* Take control of your money with the Conscious Spending Plan: iwt.com/csp-yo...
* Optimize your credit cards with the 1st chapter of my book: iwt.com/chapte...
* Join my Money Coaching program for monthly help: iwt.com/moneyc...
🤳 CONNECT WITH RAMIT SETHI
* Instagram: / ramit
* X: / ramit
* LinkedIn: / ramitsethi
✅ SUBSCRIBE SO YOU DON’T MISS ANY EPISODES
/ ramitsethi
-
If you and your partner have a money issue and you want my help, I occasionally select a couple to work with, free of charge. Apply for my help here: iwt.com/apply
Produced by Crate Media.

[@ramitsethi]

0:00 Download the Conscious Spending Plan so you can use your money GUILT-FREE: iwt.com/csp-youtube Please remember: These are real people who had the courage to come on my podcast and ask for help. Would you be willing to come on this podcast and share every detail of your financial life? Feel free to leave comments based on what you think, but remember that we are here to help in a supportive way, not to demean and criticize.

[@Squintillions]

Early on I thought that Em was eloquent and concise with her speaking and then later we learn she is a VP - makes sense! Best wishes to her on achieving equitable pay! This is one of the most together couples we’ve seen on the podcast in a while, good for them! I really hope this experience relieves some of the anxiety Kait seems to have around money and that Em feels more comfortable being an active participant in their finances. Good luck, ladies!

[@harveylin3548]

It sounds like since Em is the money getter, she wants her partner to handle the money and leave her alone. I wonder what will happen when Keit eventually makes more money than her in her small business? Once the power dynamics change, she will not have the power to defer managing money to her partner anymore.

[@jnac216]

I loved this episode and thank you Ramit and team for pulling the financial curtain on IVF. This couple is crushing it and proud of their progress.

[@SamTangible]

Thanks for a great episode! Seeing you spotlight these types of relationships, and then clapping back at bigots and haters really says a lot about your character and heart. It's wonderful to see!

[@Benningtown]

I like it when I finish an episode and my conclusion isn't "Girl, RUN."

[@KF-ew2fz]

Yes yes yes

[@firefalcoln]

Or “dude, RUN” 😂

[@NancyMartiz]

Ramit, I love your shows and I'm so grateful for you and the inclusive/diverse platform you have created for us to share and learn from each other. My wife and I are 6-figure earners, are cash flowing on our real estate investments, aggressively saving and investing for retirement and have big dreams to travel and own 100% of our time one day. We eloped at city hall during pandemic and we are now planning our "rich life" dream wedding/anniversary party abroad while simultaneously carving out a small budget for family-planning expenses (thankfully my employer reimburses 75k for egg freezing and IVF). This episode HIT HOME and gave me so much reassurance that we are on the right path and deserve a fancy dinner once/month :) Keep up the great work!!

[@ramitsethi]

I love hearing this. Congratulations to you and your wife.

[@NancyMartiz]

@@ramitsethi 🙏

[@acwyatt1279]

I think the biggest things that Ramit and these episodes have taught me is that more money doesn't always mean less problems, less stress etc

[@TradeWise1000]

For me it is kinda the opposite. More money equals the ability to make many more mistakes and still be ok. I feel this couple makes many but with such large earnings it is not a problem

[@DeniseSkidmore]

Loss aversion kicks in. If you've never had apple watches and $100 dinners, it's no big deal to exclude those from the budget, but if you're giving up what you had, it's emotionally different although objectively looks easy to just cut a few luxuries.

[@FromMikaWithLove]

I really appreciate the diversity of this show! Can’t wait to listen while I do my morning bike ride.

[@oshaneb3176]

You have no idea how much your videos help me on a mental level.

[@kathbrandon8023]

Props to Kait and Em (and you too, Ramit!) for an informative and heartwarming episode. Best of luck on your IVF journey and on Kait's new business.

[@slevitron1543]

My wife and I are 34 and in a similar situation to them money wise and talking about IVF. Their story was very relatable income wise and investment wise.

[@Dan16673]

Ivf in the usa is insane expensive

[@slevitron1543]

@@Dan16673 it truly is. I have a buddy that went through it about a decade ago and even with insurance covering portions of it they spent 6-figures in the end.

[@elliottnixon-wq6sp]

Great episode! Always eye opening. Also, Ramit, I dont know if its any fun for you, but watching you responding to the trolls and haters is popcorn for me. So I’ve got a great episode and a bonus fun comments section 😂

[@MargaretMaenad]

There's another merch idea: IWTYTBR popcorn flavors, perfect for troll-roasting-snackage

[@marivelvetons]

What a great episode! I love to see people who are managing their finances well. We all might make some slips here and there from time to time, and that's why I enjoy episodes like this one. I wish all the best to this lovely couple and I hope they'll soon have their baby.

[@stephaniecoleman9689]

If you are considering IVF it is definitely worth looking at options abroad. A full round of egg freezing / embryo freezing in Spain (Barcelona, Madrid) can cost ~$4-6k. I've had multiple friends take this option and make a trip out of it to maximize the savings benefit.

[@donyetta83]

I had a coworker go to Mexico for IVF, they have a beautiful baby boy and spent 5-7k

[@donyetta83]

Abroad is the way to go

[@stephaniecoleman9689]

​@@donyetta83 what a blessing! great to know about MX too, there are incredible IVF practices outside the US..

[@amydurham1150]

Yes, definitely agree or even purchasing medications abroad. We purchased from an IVF pharmacy in England and saved thousands each cycle! 4th was a success.

[@delynd2663]

Fantastic share! Thanks for that info about IVF abroad. The steep price probably causes a lot of delays and heartache for an already difficult and emotional journey to attempt parenthood. What a great thing to know and share!

[@PugLifeRocks]

Good information but the audio does not match the speaker video. There’s a huge delay in audio to video speaker. Something went wrong during recording which makes it hard to watch because the audio does not match immediate speaker.

[@bgoode652]

Yeah, I want to watch this one but just can't.

[@vipulnaik1]

Hmmm this was the case for me yesterday but when I resumed it today it is synced!

[@TES-qf7du]

Synced when I watched as well

[@jdp486]

This was such a refreshing change of pace- room for improvement, but they have a solid foundation. I would love to learn more about Kait's upbringing. I'm probably projecting, but when she mentioned "do the responsible thing", I immediately wondered if she was raised by a parent who had to reign in the spending for another. Or, maybe she operates naturally in a state of fear of everything going away. These are true for me, and having a spouse that's more spontaneous and free with spending is 1. fun and novel and 2. scary. 😀

[@i-fear-the-wind]

I am getting chills watching this episode. First of all, thank you to the couple for sharing their story. Second, thank you to you for showcasing this scenario. I have been starting my own financial planning journey with my wife and we are also a queer couple undergoing fertility/IVF. It's been great learning broad strokes about different people's journeys, but this one feels tailor made for me and that hasn't been something I've encountered so far on KZbin in this subject. So thank you thank you thank you!! This is so cool.

[@angelikalaser7778]

What a breath of fresh air after last episode 😊 I would love it to be a 2 parter and to hear more about the way they grew up with money and how it affects them both. I see a lot of parallels of my hubby and me. When we combined our finances he as well wanted to know how he would surprise me if I oversee all our accounts. And I said, "just don't, I hate surprises" 😂 Kate seems kind of anxious around money, which I also am. And the consequence is me micromanaging and learning everything about it. In the beginning I as well was not earning anything and took the same role it seems. Very relatable episode despite the numbers not matching mine 😅

[@nursemulla]

I've been listening to this podcast for about a year. I find it so fascinating! I watched an episode on youtube this this week and I will never go back to the podcast! It learn so much better by seeing other people's CSP and the numbers in front of me. It is also great to see peoples facial reactions :). This episode was great- I especially appreciate these women being so open and honest about their IVF journey and sharing the true costs.

[@nicolebrightman9142]

Such a sweet, genuine and intelligent couple. I wish them all the best on growing their family.

[@JoseRobertoLopes-rr9kp]

Ramit you're like a star shinning and bringing light up to our vision. Tanks a lot for your amazing job. Thanks to the couple for sharing their personal things with us.

[@Jo-qb1xe]

Love this episode! They do plan ahead and save for the future. Yay for Em for achieving equitable pay. $50k for a wedding is ok as long as you can comfortable afford it. People please relax, it’s literally less than 2 months of their pay…

[@rilleyblazer2330]

Great episode as always! Good to see a couple who's doing a lot of things right and to see the struggles they still face.

[@techfanfreckles4557]

I've been watching your videos for months already. I've watched them all, I believe. Thank you Ramit for including this episode that shows inclusiveness. I was waiting for one like this for so long as I can feel identify with the household. Thank you!

[@heatherlavere4644]

Thank you, Ramit. Representation matters. Thank you for showing another same sex couple as we also struggle with money psychology (along with many other things as some of the comments here show).

[@Livegiveforgive]

I can’t help but think of that Theodore Roosevelt quote , “Comparison is the thief of joy.” Comparing your life to others is a miserable way to live . I grew up with hand me downs and shopping at Kmart for anything new. I remember as a kid walking through JC Penny to get inside the mall and thinking to myself you have to be rich to shop here 😂. It really doesn’t matter if you shop and Walmart or nordstroms . Just be a good person and appreciate your blessings.

[@harveylin3548]

See here is the thing, middle class people just compare to upper middle class or small time rich people. But once you make up to be somewhat rich, then the ones you compare to are just extremely high, which makes this whole thing much worse.

[@weswest8666]

Comparing to others is great, especially since most people are broke af, I see someone driving a nice car I feel better about my 20 year old car knowing I don’t have a 1,200/ month old car payment and cheap insurance.

[@dantouneto]

Good to see an episode with an exemple of what it looks like when participants are in the right path ( even the high road), it's inspiring and i've no doubt that Kate and Em will reach their goals. Ramit i've to say since i bumped into your Netflix show, i haven't missed a single podcast episode. Those shared experiences can be eye opening for the viewers, and it has been for me. Thanks again.

[@akbarnaqvi4737]

340k a year in a crap ton of money and this couple is still wealthy to be clear but I think Em is mostly correct that this is quite underpaid relative to most executives at tech companies especially in HCOL areas, where VPs/CEOs (mostly male) routinely make double or more what she does, so working in that environment I can definitely see why she feels unsatisfied with her salary. I do think it's important for her to take a step back and have some perspective as Ramit said.

[@deloresd7500]

Ramit thank you so much for capturing the ranges of couples and their experiences. I loved this episode so much and the questions you asked about their unique experience as a queer couple. Also, I told my parents about Wells Fargo and we went and closed their accounts with them. And yes I did say “ Ramit sent us!”

[@MargaretMaenad]

1:10:07 as a lover of cuddly blankets, dragons, and financial planning, this idea sounds like a slam dunk ❤

[@DeniseSkidmore]

My husband delegates money management to me, but I give him occasional "executive summary" so he sees how our net worth is doing. Every time I pay bills i give more general feedback if spending was high or if we have room for some indulgences. As long as one of you is managing the money and the other has a basic understanding of the finances, you don't have to have both partners doing the grunt work.

[@laurenm.6320]

That’s what we do. We’ve built the vision together, and then I give him periodic net-worth summaries as we review that vision especially at life decision points. I do also check in before major changes in investing or giving or when I see interesting changes in markets, rates etc. He knows where everything is and how to access it so there isn’t any ignorance, and he could take it over tomorrow. It’s just part of my job in the family to be the one consistently paying attention to the details of what we do with what he brings home. It’s worked for us for over 20 years so far.

[@markmastalski9104]

This is a really great episode. Thanks to your team for getting it all set up and you do a great job hosting it. I consider your podcast some of my weekly professional development.

[@barbaratozzano6364]

She makes almost as much per month that i make in a year. I dont mind when people make a lot of money, but it bothers me that they seem to take it for granted and still out spend the income. Maybe we could chance places for a while. Im fine. Debt free and live within my means. I could give lessons on frugal living.

[@lucaspm98]

As much as it sounds like they need to focus on budgeting, in the same way you need to focus on income. 2 sides of the same coin.

[@angelikalaser7778]

Why do you feel like they take it for granted? They seem to feel like they deserve it, which is true. M. is a VP in an IT company, thats a great job that does not fall into a woman's lap for sure and I bet she works way more than the standard 9 to 5 to earn her income.

[@Daveyjonesvi]

@@lucaspm98they are not two sides of the same coin. They are completely different coins.

[@Beautybytracilei]

I also didn’t see that they were outspending their income. They’re saving and investing pretty aggressively. And I don’t know how you make it on $600 a month for groceries if you’re only eating out twice a month.

[@MachaLatte123]

They are making a lot of money but their net worth is relatively low compared to their income. So either this income level is fairly recent or they have been spending too much. With their income level there’s really no reason the HELOC isn’t paid off, and no reason to pay for the marriage by credit card. I feel there’s something not right about their spending habit (“all this I deserve it” reasoning). I make less than them but my net worth is several times higher. And given their young age, they have a lot of potential for more income growth, but their spending habit (borrowing to afford it) may be getting ahead and hold them back. $250 dinners several times a week seem extravagant when there’s still so much outstanding debt, and they could have gone for $100 dinners instead or do more home cooking (it’s healthier too). Given Em’s VP position, it’s likely that she may be stressed at work, and just going out for expensive dinners and not caring about the spending is her way of not adding more stress. But her aversion to be open and up to date with finances seem to be the biggest obstacle in their relationship. They have the income to live a more than comfortable life, but they need to learn to budget and spend with money that they already have instead of thinking they will get more money in the future and so are entitled to spend future money now. Ramit’s reasoning did not look at the debt ask risk. Their highly unequal income with significant debt and insufficient liquid savings is a cause for concern. What if Em cannot work for some time? How would they sustain their lifestyle?

[@MsJai_1]

I enjoyed this episode. They have it together, thank goodness!

[@LeesaLilHop]

My mom bought my clothes from JC Penny 😂 I feel attacked but at the same time, I will never step foot in a JC Penny or Macys again.

[@jdp486]

I went into those stores recently, and how depressing! Not even the clothes; just how sparse they are because everyone shops online or at more trendy stores.

[@violet18]

Macy's now has a department called "backstage" and it's basically a small Ross in there.

[@CavegirlMelanieHobby]

Is anyone else having a drastic problem with the video? I want to watch it so bad, but it keeps freezing and the video and sound are grossly misaligned. Phone and roku TV too

[@jayders1]

Your not alone lol

[@neko_nekobear4541]

I was wondering if anyone else had the same problem since no one was talking about it! I’m just listening at this point

[@harveylin3548]

I make what you consider a high income in a MCOL city compared to Em, probably have the same living standards when you consider the difference in cost of living. The problem is once you are up there, the people you see and interact with are miles ahead of you, with astronomic numbers that a job even as good as a VP can't reach. Not to mention the work needed to be done to reach the next level. Middle classes compare themselves to someone next door, which is similar to them but once you get up there, this kind of comparison can hurt a lot since the income gap become much bigger. I get exactly why Em doesn't feel happy even with that salary. One thing she doesn't mention also is that jobs in tech are not stable, none of them are super long term jobs, so yes you might make $330k a year, but who knows what happens next year? What if this company is a startup? That makes this problem even worse in the long run. When your daily job requires you to interacting with people that have 5 million in their daily checking account balance, making 7 million bucks in 30 years can sound like a joke.

[@Ang-wu2bt]

Ramit. Thank you so much for featuring a same gender couple. Very good episode. Love your Pod❤

[@Youmaycallmesammy]

Interesting episode. I think I'd be worried about the stability of her role and building investments aggressively just in case. Tech is so tumultuous and she's right that relying on equity for compensation is not ideal.

[@angelikalaser7778]

They did not go into details but maybe her family have their backs since she comes from money and her dad seems to be rich.

[@awb19892]

Uh, I thought she was talking about equity as in being underpaid relative to men, not stocks vs. cash.

[@JK-rw8zn]

Ramit, you often talk about talking to your children about finances. Do you have any recommended resources for this?

[@Jeff-312]

Great episode and I wish them both the best, but the fragile men in the comments make this even better.

[@ramitsethi]

LOL. So true

[@jeromehenry4484]

Comment of the day!!!

[@AmyAnnetteHenion]

Kait & Em: We're actually doing amazing, we just need a little outside perspective to help us realize that fact. Trolls in the comments: They are Woke and Ghey and now I, a Man, will explain why they're Bad and Wrong

[@Wellster]

😂

[@MzEm2010]

Love this episode! Thank you for focusing on the gendered scripts women receive as kids about money. It’s huge!

[@thelyricsofthebesthits7888]

I'm learning English so I'll be delight if you put subtitles for that me I really understand. 🙏🏾

[@ToddVenable]

$50k on a credit card for a wedding. Absolute insanity. I made the above comment before I found out their household income was over 300k. Now it's even more insane! I disagree with Ramit a bit on this couple, and I usually don't disagree with him very often. They have been very very sloppy with their money and their high income is masking these issues. They need to get rid of the CC debt IMMEDIATELY, and build a war chest for their IVF needs. Because of their income, they can continue to invest in retirement while cleaning up this mess. This will help them be on outstanding footing when one or more kids arrive.

[@Joce123]

For sure they do not need to procreate. Adopt a baby who needs food shelter A HOME

[@verb0ze]

They paid that 50k off in a couple of years. They are on the road to 5.7M conservatively by the time they retire. While I wouldn't advise putting a wedding on credit cards, they seem responsible with their finances and don't really live above their means (well, M needs to be more involved, but as a household, they're doing fine). If they didn't change anything in their finances today, they'd be just fine. In fact, Ramit is encouraging them to spend more. In my view, long as they have the base covered, mistakes here and there are acceptable long as they learn from it and don't repeat it.

[@verb0ze]

​@@Joce123 why do you think it's their job to adopt? Would you give the same advice to a heterosexual couple who wanted to have their own child? That's just a weird stance...

[@makayla4292]

if you were listening, instead of focusing on how to criticize, you would have heard that they have $50k saved for IVF and they don’t have CC debt anymore

[@ToddVenable]

@@makayla4292 I missed the part where they paid it off. I'm glad to hear that. I'm not just focusing on criticizing. It is absolutely stupid, under any and all circumstances, to put a 50k wedding on a credit card. It's absurd and likely cost them thousands of dollars in interest. It was a very, very dumb financial decision. I'm glad it is apparently paid off now so the stupidity could end.

[@letsbeleaving]

Damn, my KZbin sub can’t skip your baked in ads 😂

[@RobPerkins]

There's some good stuff in there though. All of it will never apply to you or one person in particular, but you might find a gem one day and knowing that Ramit uses it may give you at least a certain level of confidence that yo could start your research there.

[@MNP208]

This is a very lovely couple. If my husband loved to cook, I would take a second job to buy that fancy food. That's how much I dislike cooking! 🤣🤣 I always assumed people did all kinds of financial analyses before opening a business. I suppose this isn't common? The cost of IVF infuriates me!

[@NaeOnYT]

"I want an investment blankie." LOL

[@SarahEJewell]

Love this episode. And from the follow up it sounds like they're just gonna keep getting stronger and stronger

[@brianparsons6203]

Nice to see them pretty much on the same page. Why haven't they paid off the heloc or credit card though? Seems like it would be easy considering their income. Were they saving for IVF instead? I kind of missed that part.

[@AwesomeAly]

Love these videos, always watching in the morning at the gym 🙌

[@dakine4238]

Wish them luck and they seem like they'd make great parents.

[@Jupiter88844]

This episode is 🔥👌🏾

[@LupeBaptista]

I’d be retiring/working much less in 5 years and curious to know best how people split their pay, how much of it goes into savings, spendings or investments. I earn around $250k per year, but nothing to show for it yet.

[@heatherholdings]

it is never too early or late to start retirement planning, there are advisors out there that can help you build a personalized plan

[@politepupsacademy2890]

This was such a great episode!

[@barose1]

Wow! They go *out* for dinner. 😂Hearing $250 blew my mind. Its good to hear they want to improve their communication.

[@Boredtimes]

Great episode! Thank you!

[@johnnyappleman7159]

50K is wild bro

[@BuiltonGODSrock]

IDIOTIC even if u make 500k

[@BurghGrrl]

My husband and I literally call our portfolio "the third guy." We are thinking like Ramit!

[@Adman-p4j]

The Investment blankie has to have an Excel sheet graphic on it I think. 😂

[@ivanpadilla4479]

Me: 50k wedding, DAMN! Also me: oh they can pay it in a year with little to no problem 😮

[@alexisballard1459]

If that were really true they wouldn’t have used a credit card for it lol

[@heatherlavere4644]

Thought the same thing!

[@harveylin3548]

With that earning they might live in a HCOL area like SF or Seattle, where a house is like a million bucks and more. Suddenly their money might not be worth that much anymore.

[@TheGooglySmoog]

I was going to say. We put about $10k on our CC for the wedding but paid it off immediately. We already had the cost in mind.

[@LismoreLady]

@@harveylin3548they said they live in Boston. Idk if that’s high col area. From an Irish perspective their money is nuts but then col here is way lower eg. no student debt or massive healthcare insurance costs. Housing is probably comparable though.

[@govinds5590]

I thought the title was something else when I first started watching this video. Did they change it from "It will cost us 50K to have a baby" to “We make $27,500/month…Why am I stressed about money?” ?

[@tomaszp2027]

Yes, that happens often with yt videos, usually because of the statistics. I liked it better when the income was a surprise.

[@foureyeswonder]

Yup, they did change it

[@vulpixelful]

Yeah I had to come back to it and I thought they removed it for a sec

[@govinds5590]

Glad to know. I am starting to get older, so was a little worried that I was seeing things.

[@alipali2372]

Question... Are they able to put money into a Roth IRA despite the high income of their family? They mentioned getting married so in the eyes of the IRS they're married filing jointly. No?

[@zoraster3749]

They have to do a back door Roth; and even then, 6k is peanuts at that income level.

[@TheSharmam]

it was a great episode, the couple was lovely and in love and I think they can win at life! kudos to M for achieving so much success and to people who say this role will not last etc. if it doesnt, she seems smart enough to land at even better role! I think the issue with Kate is that she doesn't bring enough income and its all M so she feels too reliant on her and watches the finances like a hawk. But she needs to relax and enjoy life, with IVF and high pressure job, they have a lot going on! good luck to these lovely ladies!

[@rachael-dc3]

Who did you see on the asset management firm?! Spill the tea, Ramit!

[@dakine4238]

The audio is not aligned with the video.

[@mastering-digital]

The fact that she makes $28K/Month, that's $336K per year as a VP at 35 years old, and is not happy with her salary just blows my mind. Before owning my business, I used to make $210k per year with 15 years of experience as the head of marketing at multiple tech companies!

[@ST-rj8iu]

look at what they spend. IVF, Wedding, Business losing money, etc.....

[@mastering-digital]

@@ST-rj8iu They can spend the money however they want, I'm not judging them on that. I spend my money in things that we want and also in dumb stuff. It's the lack of satisfaction with her current salary when she is in the top 2% of earners in the US, let alone the top 0.4% of women. I'm also not saying not to be ambitious but there has to be a balance.

[@ST-rj8iu]

@@mastering-digital She is not making the same as men in her industry. That is why she is not happy. If you gender made you automatically make less than your male peers, you would be mad too!

[@Dan16673]

Thats low as a marketing vp?

[@mastering-digital]

@@Dan16673 that's not low, that's my point.

[@NYPHOTOGRAPHER]

Ikd why the audio is out of sinq

[@sophiamyambala1405]

Unfortunately, I don’t feel like there was a strong resolution here because it was assessed that the couple earn a lot of money. Would have appreciated if we talked more about the business, if it’s worth getting a job instead in order to contribute more to get the net worth up and clear debt faster.

[@alexdarby3374]

I'm pretty sure they are not eligible to contribute to a Roth IRA as a married couple at that income...

[@tw449]

I was shocked that Ramit didn't say much about their $700K+ debt. No discussion of how to pay it off, with all that monthly income? 😲🧐

[@lifeisbeautiful7452]

That’s probably their home.

[@verb0ze]

Correct, it's their home. And they make more than enough to cover the monthly costs, and their fixed costs is around 50%. Also, the house is worth 1M+, so even with hidden costs, the asset is still net positive. That's probably why Ramit was not worried about it.

[@tw449]

I thought there was a HELOC loan with 17-18% interest?

[@JTORO9]

They're balling!

[@Roxanne873]

Loved this episode .

[@Mr_NB628]

How many accounts do you have that you don’t know what account your HELOC is in? I get not knowing the interest rate, but you don’t know what account it is? And it’s too “heavy” for you to look? Come on.

[@angelikalaser7778]

If you have such stressful job as a VP (vice president) and have to make hundreds decisions daily about millions of dollaes, you would not bother about couple hundred bucks and are likely exhausted af at the end of the day.

[@Mr_NB628]

@@angelikalaser7778 she said she was a vice president, not the vice president. She said she took out a $50,000 HELOC at 18% interest so it’s more than a few hundred dollars. Additionally, even if she has five accounts how does she not know which one HELOC is in ?

[@jeromehenry4484]

As far as the HELOC itself, it would be listed on a credit report, so very simple to find out. I questioned if Kate really wanted to know checking account where HELOC loan payment came out of? That would be a monthly payment, so understandable why Kate needed that information. Em's answer really sounded like she was stonewalling, what's the motive behind that behavior? Really would have liked a breakdown of assets between those two. $141K in investments & $54K in savings isn't very much considering their ages and Em's high income. Wondering if Em is hiding assets from Kate.

[@makayla4292]

what a great episode

[@jaypatel490]

so amazing.. person who is making 99% of the money is not saying anything. real life of a couple :)

[@AAPAI_24]

Ramit, you are so funny: '... you are speaking a language of ultra-violet range'. Exactly my thoughts: a metalanguage! that's how i speak to myself in my head when I need to invest in something and the next client hasn't paid yet. I love your podcasts, it's helping me live my rich life and don't fret about the £3 coffee while in between jobs and working as a freelancer.

[@nenuphar0722]

Great podcast!

[@amgm4824]

I want an investment blankie with blankie stitched on it !!!!!

[@srinivasapattigilli6020]

We can always blame tho gs on parents not teaching us. But when we grow up it’s our responsibility to pick up things.

[@Mr_NB628]

56:44 got that Elizabeth Holmes style 🎉

[@angelikalaser7778]

Nope, Steve Jobs the original Lizzy stole it from him. I love the IT crew still sticks to it despite the bad rep Lizzy gave it. I love black shirts ❤

[@TonyCox1351]

Looks like Nate is a black turtleneck connoisseur himself

[@Mr_NB628]

@@TonyCox1351 😂

[@udawg05]

Goodness - they used all the words for every response. But, they're doing really well 👏🏽

[@thisisyourfinalwarning]

$50,000 on a wedding????

[@jaydubya9265]

Haven’t heard yet but I’m sure they earn well into six figures.

[@mthebold]

They certainly look like they've spared no expense on their lifestyle.

[@jainthorne4136]

Enjoyed this episode a lot. However, I kept wondering how they picked that color for the contrast wall behind her. It might have been picked to be edgy or vibrant but is jarring in terms of everything else in the room. Silly, I know but my eye kept being drawn to it.

[@mmp495]

😂. My thoughts too!

[@jillkinnard270]

But how are you paying into a Roth if your married making over the limit?

[@alexisballard1459]

These two should avoid the automatic “I THINK” statements when they’re asked a question, that’s probably the reason they TALK a lot but don’t RESOLVE a lot, they are big intellectualizers

[@mmarieritter216]

Thank god they have you out here, policing how they express themselves!

[@alexisballard1459]

@@mmarieritter216 it’s not “policing” it’s genuine advice to reach productive money conversations that they were struggling to have

[@delynd2663]

​@@mmarieritter216 Haha! Plus... Acknowledging that you're sharing an opinion ("I think") rather than a fact, that's an important step to respectful, honest conversation. They are attempting big, bold, ambitious goals together. Why would they settle for anything less than precision when talking with each other? I feel like they prioritized understanding each other, not just making noise.

[@bradman4399]

From a psychological perspective, why do rich people REFUSE to call themselves rich? It's so interesting to me. Upper middle class? Come on lol

[@Livegiveforgive]

I think because people grade their wealth on a curve . For most people making 200k is rich . People making 200k they compare themselves to people making 500k a year , and up the comparison ladder you go …

[@awb19892]

Because there's always a bigger fish.

[@bradman4399]

@Disciple736 for sure! But you can be Comparative and also acknowledge you're upper class. 80th percentile income in the US is 149k, and she makes well over double that. Rich people just seem so embarrassed to admit they are rich, as if they are going to offend Ramit... she can't possibly believe that, as a tech VP, that she isn't an upperclass income earner

[@00Dawggg]

Rich means you can live off the returns from your investment portfolio till the day you die without making any sacrifices when it comes to quality of life. Making 300k/year doesn’t make you rich, I make a good amount more and I don’t consider myself rich because if I was to quit my job today I would only be able to sustain my current lifestyle for 6 years. This couple is in a similar boat as me and would go broke in 5-7 years if they quit their jobs… not even close to being “rich”.

[@bradman4399]

@macsc5497 class breakdowns are just percentage based though. You may not feel rich, but you are rich. It doesn't mean you are able to quit your job this second? They are young lol

[@aprilstiek7430]

Would like to see Ramit help people that are not already rich for a change.

[@arh1234]

There's lots of variety in the guests! Here and on the Netflix show. One of the things I like about Ramit's content

[@TonyCox1351]

That’s kind of Ramit’s shtick and I think it works for him. I watch Caleb Hammer for poor people

[@o0usf0o]

Lots of his guests have regular incomes but are actually flat broke.

[@aprilstiek7430]

Yeah, I think I’m more into Caleb Hammer personally. I really like Ramit’s approach to helping people and love the diversity of couples he helps but it’s difficult for me to watch people with 500,000 - 1,000,000 net worth complain. I know in my head that everyone needs help but I think average income people need more help. Just my hang up.

[@TonyCox1351]

@@aprilstiek7430 I’m the complete opposite, I find Caleb’s guests more “entertaining” but completely unrelatable. Damn are they entertaining though!

[@vulpixelful]

14:47 She's so right 😂 It's not that _women_ obfuscate and _men_ don't, but people who are more conflict-averse tend to be more indirect. In America, women are more likely to be raised to avoid conflict and "be sweet". Meanwhile men got the idea that they need to prove their masculinity by being in one conflict a day at minimum 😂 But it doesn't depend on sex or gender

[@dippingmyfoot]

Please consider adoption from foster care. There are so many beautiful children, waiting for a home. I have adopted four and have learned so much from them.

[@Merrybandoruffians]

This was interesting and I really appreciate their willingness to talk about IVF… But also, I smell a trust fund here.

[@Yahatetoseeithappen]

I thought you couldn’t contribute to a Roth if you made that much as a household. Is it different for business owners?

[@politepupsacademy2890]

I was confused with that too. The only way that can happen is if they file taxes separately. Or perhaps their net is below the threshold amount because Em put a lot in retirement?

[@Yahatetoseeithappen]

⁠@@politepupsacademy2890​​⁠​⁠I think it’s based on gross income but good thought on the filing status..if separate she should be able to contribute something since she pays herself so little. Thanks for the reply!

[@Zadnak1]

There's a thing called a "backdoor roth ira" that basically makes the income limit not a factor when contributing to a Roth IRA every year. There are plenty of guides online about it. Google is your friend on this one.

[@vulpixelful]

​@@YahatetoseeithappenIt's based on income after pre-tax contributions, not gross income

[@Yahatetoseeithappen]

@@vulpixelful Oh really? Interesting ok thanks!

[@moniqueg943]

Wonderful episode Ramit! The comments from fragile men are annoying.

[@tundun8365]

What is Kate’s childhood money story?

[@katrod1997]

anyone know what the compound interest calculator website is?

[@ST-rj8iu]

just google that and pull it up as there are many

[@pauchopkins12]

I hope they aren’t filing their taxes together- they make WAYYYYY too much combined to contribute to a Roth IRA.

[@arh1234]

They probably use form 8606 to do "backdoor" Roth IRAs

[@michellegreen1072]

They could be doing a Solo 401k too.

[@Mr_NB628]

Legitimate question: is queer the new umbrella term for not being straight? I’m starting to hear it more and it seems like they are using it as an umbrella term so I’m just wondering if that’s the new thing.❤

[@vulpixelful]

Yes, it is 😊 I like that it's inclusive of us bi people who can be in a relationship that can look "straight" but we're not 😂

[@andreamckenzie8598]

It is for a lot of people! Queer is being reclaimed as a defacto umbrella term, but some folks prefer LGBT+ if they aren't a fan.

[@Mr_NB628]

@@vulpixelful thank you!

[@Mr_NB628]

@@andreamckenzie8598 thank you. I tried looking it up online and people just wanna talk about the history of the word. I wish people would talk more about this more because we outside of that world don’t know and it’s confusing for us

[@stephaniemejia4324]

Good episode, but I prefer more of the financial train wrecks lol.

[@alexmalchow1855]

Spend less save more invest