“We spend 113% of what we make-but we can’t find a fix”

[@ramitsethi]

I recently got an update from Michelle and Ryan a few weeks after our call and here's what they shared: "So far we have been able to cut down the grocery spending, cut takeout spending heavily, reduced our retirement contributions, are reducing some of the kid activities. We are down to 90% on the CSP, a great improvement so far. We’ve also opened a brokerage account to invest some of our savings." It's great to see your progress Michelle and Ryan, thank you for sharing your story and please keep us updated. I wish you the best!

[@ILovePlants33]

I'm so happy for their follow up as it felt like they got a point in the video where they were just saying they would cut but I wasn't convinced they would follow through. Nice job!!

[@MissGirl1450]

I'd love to see more follow-ups from the early episodes.

[@SilviaArrambide]

Awesome! Thanks for the follow up 🙌🏻

[@LivingInEllisCountyTexas]

Ramit - you are doing amazing work! You helped these two focus on the issues and then showed them that they are already prepared for retirement. Very encouraging!!

[@IAmebAdger]

Ok, so they didn't take a machete to their spending, more like a meat cleaver, that's something.

[@CB-mq2mn]

I started my kid on an allowance of $20/month in 1st grade and told them going forward mom and dad would only be giving presents on holidays and birthdays. I did it to address the family budget and stop our impulse shopping on toys and treats. This was one of the best parenting decisions I ever made. It had so many positive impacts on them and our family. Today they have savings, and they’re generous and thoughtful about their spending. They have saved up for 2 major purchases (for them) and when they do this they spend months deciding on their purchase and making sure their bank account isn’t empty afterwards. They feel empowered and they have restraint to not spend their $ on things they don’t really care about. Give your kids an allowance and teach them how to manage their $. They will likely inspire you with their capabilities,

[@BigBearHugs4All]

This is so wonderful to read! I just recently started giving my child an allowance of $20 in third grade. So far it’s been really fun to watch them wait until the next month to make their purchase and do a bunch of research beforehand to pick out what they really want.

[@gsdlover8967]

That's is awesome! I started to teach my daughter about finances when she was 5. We give her allowance as well and we hardly ever buy anything for her. She has to use her allowance for everything she wants. Now she is 12 and she was doing her first internship this summer. She already negotiated her salary to start full time when she turns 14. Stop spoiling kids.

[@SouthernGypsy04]

I so the same! We have an agreement, half of his allowance goes into his 'fun' money and half to his custodial ROTH account (it's automated!). Same with any gift money he receives. It's been fun to have these conversations with a 4th grader because kids really are able to grasp these concepts and it will be a game changer for him one day!

[@krizak4421]

This child raising is how you end up with adults that say, "our parents never talked about money, we got everything we wanted, but we could see them fight and have anxiety about money a lot." when they talk to Ramit.

[@aas55]

Yeah sadly in 25 years I can see one of their kids talking to Ramit and saying this was their experience growing up.

[@andrewdejuan4914]

@@aas55 Ramit be still talking in his 70s about renting for life!

[@ppoppoiop6336]

I bet they will feel guilty when they get older and see this video. They will blame themselves for contributing to their parents' financial ruin (even though it's not their fault, of course).

[@simone_maya]

when growing you have to figure out diverse ways earning

[@rachelpfleging9111]

Or the kids will be pissed because they now have to support their parents!

[@ggppccvv]

Can anyone explain to me why she keeps thinking about "the temporary income drop" when in part 1 she literally explained she has been a stay at home mom for NINE YEARS? Friends, that's not a temporary glitch, one income is your actual life???

[@metr08]

Yea, she’s super delusional. It’s kinda scary.

[@maxinoume]

Also, the kids are both school age. She doesn't need to be a stay at home parent anymore.

[@aimeetannahill]

​@@maxinoumeNo, they have. 3 year old as well

[@Beginnerreadsthebible]

She probably intends to go back to work when all the kids are settled in school full time. Sometimes a parent takes a break from work and for one reason or another, it ends up being longer than expected.

[@kickaplan]

​To piggyback off @Beginnerreadsthebible, in the previous episode she explains that she planned to take this time off to raise kids by saving a large amount of money beforehand. The fact that she still has $135k after all these years on a single income is a testament to her planning skills. Based on the amount of money they were spending before making any changes with Ramit, their savings would have lasted around another 3 years- just in time for the youngest kiddo to enter grade school.

[@lysec9672]

I was waiting for Ramit to pause and respond to Michelle's negative energy. It felt impossible to move forward until she dealt with the underlying cause of what's preventing her from proactively participating in making changes rather than being so defeatist. She really should rewatch this episode to see herself. This was so illuminating because I know exactly how she feels. Sometimes it takes the actual change in the situation to affect a true change in feelings, but waiting for a miracle while doing nothing is just as unrealistic. I truly empathize with Michelle and I wish her well.

[@dorahmulinge3800]

I now see it and I checked myself too because sometimes I'm her.

[@bledig]

I am having the same experience with a wife whose husband owe me a bunch of money. She frustratingly like Michele. Trying to get ahead of the problem is like - everything cannot - I don’t want to know. Is it something embedded in a woman’s Dna? They hope for a magic bullet with zero pain and all problem fixed in a snap. Maybe because they see themselves as the final fallback and this is the defensive measure

[@HoustonTom]

A positive energy and celebrating wins, no matter how small, makes a difference in a relationship. It’s tough if your partner declares everything a failure. And declaring that they have an income problem is a knife in his side. Sounds like he is failing to fully provide in her eyes.

[@aprilstiek7430]

⁠@@bledigYeah, I’ve never known a man who wanted a magic bullet or avoided pain. It’s definitely in a woman’s dna. 🙄

[@daves.software]

I got frustrated by her saying, "I just don't see it as significant" about the $200 from target. Well duh! She said herself, that their overspending is the result of a lot of small things adding up. So the correction is going to be by eliminating a lot of smaller things.

[@SqueakyPeeps]

Dietitian here: This couple sounds like so many of my clients. They want to lose weight, but aren't willing to do ANYTHING to achieve it. They want to eat their unlimited pizza and beer and meet their goal weight...in 2 months. They don't want to feel "deprived" in any way or sacrifice.

[@fuzzymurdermittens]

My last psychologist told me that I was one of her favourite clients because I was willing to make changes, try things out, and "do my homework" outside of our sessions (apply our lessons/exercises in my life outside appointments and do extra reading and such). I was very surprised the first time she said it because it never occurred to me to _not_ apply the lessons in my day-to-day life - the whole point of seeing her was to get the rest of my life into better/healthier shape! What's the point of seeing a specialist for help if you aren't going to listen to them, their perspective and their expertise, and try out their suggestions? It must be so frustrating for the specialists who are just trying to help people out.

[@guttieri.taylor]

This reminds me of something I saw about a certain part of the brain. I think it’s the pet that determines how strong our will and determination are. It’s like a muscle. You have to do the things you don’t want to do, that you know are good for you, to excercise and strengthen that part of the brain. Whether it’s physical or mental hard things, the more you do it, the easier it gets to do harder things.

[@dyhppyx]

Ramit I recently found your channel and am deeply impressed by the blending of hard number crunching and psychological interpretation. There's no one else like you in the space. I'm a psychologist and wanted to help add another tool to your belt. You run into so many parents who can't stop spending money on their kids and you tell them a bunch of reasons why that's bad. Here's another. Life happiness and satisfaction = expectation - reality. Parents want to give their kids everything but they are inadvertently setting the kids up for a terribly unhappy life because high expectations pave the road to disappointment. Psychologically speaking the best thing a parent can do is set the living standards very low for their kids and instructing them how to appreciate every good thing that comes. I know you understand this as an Indian immigrant. This one concept is why Americans are so damn unhappy while they have the best of everything. Hope this helps.

[@GratefulTurtle]

YES THIS!!!!

[@kingsgold]

Them unable to say no to their kids is ultimately dangerous. They don’t have control of them, they are the ones making the decisions. Kids want all the things all the time. As parents, they need to get used to telling them no more often. Kids don’t know what isn’t good for them. Parents need to teach them boundaries. They don’t need all the snacks, all the trips, all the fun stuff all the time.

[@HoustonTom]

@@kingsgold for context I’m not a parent but I hear from other parents frequently not wanting their kids to be bored. Maybe I’m misremembering but I recall a fair amount of boredom as a kid and weekends full of activities my parents wanted to do. I wasn’t neglected. yes, we would have an annual baseball game or day at an amusement park or get a new video game. But I wouldn’t have been allowed to have a daily, year round organized/paid activity. My point is that it’s ok for kids to be bored.

[@Veryfancyflamingo]

@@HoustonTom I agree and would even go one step further: I remember reading an article about how it’s absolutely essential to development, especially creativity, for kids to be bored. I feel sorry that so many kids today don’t seem to get that opportunity!

[@deirdrekiely6187]

That's how kids end up being selfish brats.

[@jaynebirkholz1596]

​@@deirdrekiely6187Amen, Amen, Amen!

[@davidstern5834]

@@HoustonTom Parents trying to work and children messing around fighting each other because they are bored...So paid activity can be a solution. We have the children (5 and 8) in paid program part of school holidays. When I was growing up my parents had retired women as baby-sitters in part of school holidays...

[@ebullock1000]

Having Target and Amazon as fixed costs is wild… that gives such an excuse to be able to buy anything at those stores. They need to nail down the WHY behind those ginormous charges - no financially controlled person spends that much at those establishments monthly.

[@joshuajoiner3279]

I found it interesting how they already had a grocery line item and still had Amazon and Target line items that were enormous, I don’t even think I could find things I would want to buy to total the thousands they have specifically to those two stores outside of their grocery line item.

[@o0usf0o]

@@joshuajoiner3279exactly… how do they have lines for specific store?! They really need to uninstall Amazon and not go to target.

[@suzanneemerson2625]

I have only been in a Target Store twice. I went for specific items (office supplies for my classroom at a deep discount at back-to-school sale) and left with those only. Frankly, most of what I saw in there was cheap junk. Very little I would be interested in. Nothing I couldn’t get elsewhere if I wanted to. But, then, I hate shopping at all. Buying online saves so much money because there’s no browsing, at least for me. I buy only what I need, nothing “extra.”

[@TheSharmam]

Target has repeatedly featured here as a shopping trip that moms take when they are stressed. thank god , they left Canada!

[@coffee-l3f]

This new CSP w/ the voices screen is everything! 23:05 love it!!

[@mainsocial1105]

Same! I love it too!

[@margaretcraig6538]

When my daughter was in Grade one she burst into tears one day and said” I can’t take this any more … I am doing too many things”. We sat down and decided together that she would continue with one activity. She is now 50 years old and super successful in the business world and an intensely focused person. I attribute it to having free time to do what she wanted and her ability to focus because she had time to do that.

[@Camie2030]

Wow! What an amazing parenting. She’s actually also very smart to express her frustration. May I ask if you were working fulltime or able to stay home. I have a toddler and a baby, hoping to raise them into two successful individuals but I work fulltime with two jobs. Hoping to one day slow down to be more present for the kids and would love to hear more tips from wonderful parent like you. Thank you for sharing your story.

[@pallahburdislmsw7884]

I felt this as a parent. When my daughter quit track and was like whhhhyyy but graduating with work experience was higher on her “want” list. And she loves to sleep.

[@mmp495]

It’s wonderful that your daughter had a voice to say what she was feeling. You are amazing for listening.❤

[@jainthorne4136]

Studies of children show that for one day of activities they need two days of recovery and yet children are scheduled relentlessly with no time for an actual life.

[@TheEmpressCastle]

I enjoyed this conversation. It’s a real depiction of human psychology, fears of sacrifice, and the emotional pain of cutting back. As Ramit always says, we are not logic robots. We are very emotionally driven-wanting to feel wealthy is a real psychological driver that may go against logic. Love love love this. I appreciate their willingness to go through the motions online. Not easy. Much appreciated. I hope they hit their goals and create healthier dynamic within a year!

[@sasukesuite1]

The fact that the wife actually believed that it's unrealistic to spend less than $985 a month at Amazon is actually terrifying. I'd really like to see what they're buying and how they came to the conclusion that it's an absolute necessity that they couldn't get anywhere else.

[@arga400]

A lot of parents need to hear this Saying "no" to your children because they had enough and saying "no" to your children because you can't afford it are and feel different. If they learn to say "no" to their children because they had enough, they will never be in a situation that they must say "no" to their children because they can't afford it.

[@ILLEST-ANT]

mmm that was deep

[@fatboyannie]

In this case, they are not even saying no to the kids. They are saying no to themselves. I think the kids did not ask for all the activities. They just think other people do it, so should we. sigh...

[@NICKELS181]

Please please explain this to the young parents because they buy them everything from overpriced sneakers to name brand fashion when you're in junior high it's not necessary

[@batemanlife]

You have more patience than me dealing with these two. They are making out that spending wild amounts to Amazon is an absolute necessity

[@rosynomad5263]

😂😂😂

[@dinagarcia9143]

OMG I couldn't agree with you more. She is so stubborn and doesn't really want to change. Hopefully it's doesn't get to where there is a fire with there finances because by then it's too late.

[@carynmills5922]

Unfortunately I have seen a lot of families that have spent like that. The costs are more than to the bank balances.

[@debbielockhart7762]

She annoyed the crap out of me.

[@jacocharo]

I’m sensing hoarding vibes.

[@nsnsnhdhdje]

I think this couple would benefit from attempting a no-spend month just to exercise the want vs. need muscle, maybe even taking a break from Amazon to deprogram themselves. Also attempting to only go shopping once per week for groceries and once per week for any kids or other household needs, and delaying any other things - the wants - that come up and adding them to shopping lists. One thing that's worked with our kids is not saying no, but "we'll add it to the list." Just generally, this couple needs to stop shopping as a recreational activity/hobby. Most shopping should just be seen as a chore. This episode definitely inspired me to cancel a bunch of amazon subscribe & saves that aren't essential.

[@nomaam5891]

This is a great suggestion!

[@TheSharmam]

he also said, sometimes they just give the kid a snack to stop them from screaming, if you cannot deal with a screaming kid, you are not parenting! you are just giving them one pacifier after another, and down the line, they will be their spouse's problem (if they are lucky enough to find one)

[@raisan5989]

@@TheSharmam So true. Also I'm like How many pretzels do they need, if the pretzels are finished before the week ends, you need to "budget" the pretzels better. If they get pretzels once a day they need 21 portions of pretzels. If you want to spent less on snacks, buy a big bag of pretzels and portion them out yourself instead of buying pre-packaged pretzels. It is probably healthier for the kids anyways. And yes I know portioning the pretzels won't get them from 113% of spending to 60% but it is more about the mindset. finished is finished (op=op).

[@MissGirl1450]

Thank you to Michelle for being honest with her feelings. It would've been so much easier to just nod along and agree. I recognized myself in her response in other aspects of my life. Change is hard and painful especially when it feels like going backwards to move forward. I couch my resistance as being realistic but really I'm giving up before I fail. I've made so much improvement in my finances-life-changing improvements. I need to believe I can transfer that to other parts of my life even if they're not as tangible. This is why I listen to this podcast.

[@aprilstiek7430]

It blows my mind that they have line items for Target and Amazon. It should be groceries, clothing, household/cleaning, gas, out to eat kind of categories. They are so resistant to cutting their spending. If they just gave it a try, I think they will be surprised how much less they actually need than they think. Change the categories and actually choose what you’re spend your money on. Saying that you can’t spend less than 900 on Amazon has no meaning.

[@thestarriseshine]

agreed. They clearly don't want to know what they are spending the money on because they do not want to have to change. The miscellaneous and "other stores" was also total bull. Frankly it's probably mostly upgrades and duplicates of stuff they already own and over-priced ultra-processed snacks. There is so much low hanging fruit here- "weekly pizza night" could be home-made or frozen pizza and that would drastically cut their takeout costs. At their kids ages they are more than capable of helping prep and cook dinner, even a 3yo can sprinkle cheese and lay out pepperoni.

[@Aquaria2291]

Yes! I also think it's laziness and wanting to protect themselves from truth. If they really wanted to know, they could have broken out those stores into categories and actually figured out how much they are REALLY spending on food or toys or whatever. The truth is they don't want to know, because if they don't know, they can keep pretending like they aren't overspending. 💀

[@raisan5989]

Their first step should be moving the wants to the other page of the budget. Needs: housing, basic food, transportation. Amazon, Target, kids activities are all wants, make them 0 first and see where that gets you and see that you have to choose either or kids, target or amazon. Caleb Hammer going through their statements might have been more impactful, Ramit is too nice to them.

[@Aquaria2291]

@@raisan5989 it's Ramit. And Caleb would have been more in their face and prescriptive, but I don't know that he would have been more impactful. Maybe with the wife, that approach would have worked, although maybe not because of her background. But I think the husband wouldn't have done well in that kind of interaction. He comes off as someone non-confrontational, so someone screaming in his face and calling him names doesn't seem like it would work.

[@raisan5989]

@@Aquaria2291 fixed the name in edit

[@bradman4399]

She feels like 200 off target isn't big enough and 200 off target is impossible. Schrodinger's shopping cart.

[@mo1482]

yesss!!

[@AlyssaMartinpage]

This is my favourite comment on one of Ramit’s videos EVER

[@EllieofAzeroth]

Schrodinger's shopping cart cracked me up lol

[@Happymavishappy]

In her mind, it’s impossible to live without whatever she’s buying and plus it’s not worth even trying because it’s a small amount that won’t make a difference. It’s that all or nothing thinking.

[@Jim00000]

Can someone please explain what Schrodinger's shopping cart means? I looked it up but don't see how it relates.

[@anastasianickerson8291]

As someone with three young kids who lives relatively frugally, this conversation is infuriating. Our children don’t do any activities (although we’ve done max one before), we spend MAX $200 a month on kid things including two in diapers, and our grocery budget is significantly lower as well. We don’t have a separate Amazon or Target item in our budget. We live a fulfilling life with healthy, beautiful, happy children. The consumerism is wild.

[@makeanddohandmade]

Yes, absolutely!! I feel the same way, the consumerism and line items for shopping is wild to me. I have very happy and healthy kids who are content with what we provide for them and thrive in simplicity.

[@klt9874]

Many parents have to go through it first (at least new parents). It can be very easy to think you are giving them better by doing all this stuff but then you realize that it is not. The truth is that many people in today's America are over consumers anyway so throw kids in the mix and it is just over the top. I think people are starting to become aware of this exhausting consumerism.

[@joycef8443]

The three grandkids who live near us spend at least a day week at our house. They hear “ we are out of pretzels, here are your other choices” from us and from their parents.

[@shreehill9641]

@@anastasianickerson8291 I really want to know what the activities are at $950 bc that’s a lot my two sons do swim and basketball for less than half of that

[@dkayok]

I gave my kids a choice of one activity - their choice. My daughter chose to take flamenco/folkorico lessons when she saw a dance group at 8 yrs old. Luckily there was a great class in our city & she danced with them for 10 yrs (with me going along all over helping with transportation, costume changes etc). My son tried soccer, hated it. I kept reminding him he could choose an activity but he was fine hanging out with friends, taking some art classes and such. Both had swim lessons as a fun+safety activity. Also they did not have tv when growing up. We spent a lot of time going to free things like museums and there were occasional nice family trips.They are fine and really don't like having a lot of "stuff" around.

[@XanderGaming]

Wow Ramit, you were pulling teeth with them, you handled this situation perfectly

[@ILovePlants33]

His level of patience was phenomenal!

[@lysec9672]

Ramit may have to do house visits for these types of couples. Supernanny vibes.

[@lowlowseesee]

its for sure already in the works since the book is coming out in jan and the netflix show looks like they would love to renew with a twist. great call

[@lysec9672]

@@lowlowseesee Oh that's exciting!

[@danielromerosol4158]

I was thinking the same. For sure they have tons and tons of food and extra stuff

[@SqueakyPeeps]

And the lady from the show "Til Debt do us Part", Gayle Voz-Oxlade, needs to accompany him along with Supernanny. They for sure need the Dream Team to wake them up.

[@rebvanwinkelstein2578]

To slap people when they fight back like this couple. Amazing idea 👌😅

[@thefinancialneurologist]

We're a dual physician household with two kids, and still don't spend this much, it's wild. They definitely can trim this down but only when they're mentally able to see the danger of their situation.

[@ang8925]

@thefinancialneurologist AMEN!

[@AL-ns5jc]

Michelle. Start shopping from your freezer and pantry. I guarantee you’re well stocked.

[@ReactFinances]

$1500 between amazon and target a month is insane, 18k/ year. her attitude is terrible, you don't need any of the crap you buy.

[@Bertuzz84]

Yeah, she thinks that her insane spending is just basic needs. Like everyone needs 9K per month minimum just to survive lol. Lot's of people live off half of that.

[@shadowguard3578]

I was thinking the same thing, their home must be full of stuff they don’t need.

[@mikaelaziegler9782]

@@shadowguard3578 and with the kids in multiple activities and weekends are outings and shows and amusement parks etc… are they just CONSTANTLY stimulated and busy?!? I’d be exhausted living that life, what about just going to the park? Drawing at home? Family movie night?

[@shadowguard3578]

@@mikaelaziegler9782 I agree with you. I grew up with few material possessions compared to what is available now plus we had the occasional family vacation. We never spent every weekend going out for activities. In fact most of our weekends were spent at home. I was never bored and I didn’t feel as if I missed out. Children need to learn to be content with their own company and entertain themselves. The parents are in control of the finances and need to cut down, budget, and save for the future.

[@mikaelaziegler9782]

@@shadowguard3578 I grew up similarly, we went to the beach, park, and library all the time

[@dm3988]

They are raising children who will expect the world to cater to them. Do they ever hear "no"?

[@elizabethmoshiri]

As a teacher, I can confidently say that most kids never hear "no" at home anymore. They have full meltdowns (even in middle school) over hearing "no."

[@suzanneemerson2625]

@@elizabethmoshiri As a teacher, I totally agree. I can look at the students in my class and tell you exactly which ones have never been told “no” at home. They are the ones most difficult to deal with, and the ones with the fewest friends.

[@yahrishavers]

Amazon and Target have accomplished their mission. They've solidified themselves as fixed costs for families like this. That's why they remain successful. I don't think this couple will actually make the changes unfortunately, they don't want it bad enough.

[@raythesalesagent2091]

What are you buying from Amazon and Target that equals $1500 per month?!?!

[@joycef8443]

She said vitamins…were those $300? And more food

[@svetlanadreher7190]

I went to comments to find an answer to that question 😂 like what in God’s name is $1500 of crap monthly???

[@ang8925]

Vitamins can add up VERY fast, small vitamin dealers who create their own brand and whatnot THEY are living their rich rich rich life! And probably the snacks, because she said snacks come from Target and Amazon too. Let's lead our kids to diabetes wild pumping them full of pills to make them healthy. Dizzying 😵‍💫

[@svetlanadreher7190]

@@ang8925 vitamins should only be taken after a consultation with a doctor and after blood work is done etc… they are not candy lol

[@jcabslovesu2]

@@joycef8443 yeah and they also have grocery in fixed cost... its insane how she doesn't see how her unnecessary amazon and target spending..

[@sidehustlevikki1066]

This might be the best episode to date! The wife got on my nerves most of this episode. Her justifying all that Amazon, target, and other unnecessary spending as needs was just wild. I’m impressed by how patient and positive Ramit was despite dealing with such a difficult person. I was actually surprised that he was able to convince her to see things from a different perspective. I honestly thought she was a lost cause.

[@Master_Sri_Arkashana1]

what do you mean by side hustler?

[@thesituation7633]

In part 1 she sounded very resentful of her husband but here in part 2 she is completely unwilling to change anything. She also just dismisses everything her husband and Ramit say. If I were her husband I would tell her that she needs therapy to fix her extreme negativity

[@mikaelaziegler9782]

She resents that she had to work hard for everything and he got to enjoy his 20s. Now that they have kids etc and she’s SAHM, she doesn’t want to cut back on enjoying anything, she’s “earned the right” to do so in her mind, and have her husband paying for it. Sure, sucks she grew up that way but it’s not her husbands fault in doing so and she needs to sort that out

[@trackee2024]

My littles favorite thing in the world is just being with mom and dad. They are happy to go to the playground, to run errands, to do dishes, to help with dinner. They just want to be together! You guys got this!!

[@MoneyMindsetCoach3]

This couple is not in debt, it is just their spending that is out of control. I had three kids too and when they were growing up i felt money was flying out the window! It is hard! Especially when those kids can make you feel bad because they don’t have something their friends have.

[@thestarriseshine]

They're not in debt because they are dipping into their emergency savings every month. If the youngest is 3 at this rate they will certainly find themselves going into debt or borrowing from retirement accounts soon. I have kids too and stuff does add up but a lot of stuff you already own and don't need the newest and best of everything.

[@Aquaria2291]

Ya'll needed the immigrant parent handbook. Specifically, the chapters called "If your friends jump off the Brooklyn Bridge, are you gonna jump too?!" and "Do you have (insert item here) money?!"

[@wandiam6635]

@@Aquaria2291😂😂right? I start to appreciate the way I was raised more and more every day

[@JuliaCloonan]

If you have more than 2 kids you have to shop at Costco or Sam’s Club. I have 4 kids and I cannot afford to feed them from Target! For example, I recently went to Target and I knew we were out of granola bars. The package at Target has 12 bars for $9. The same bars at Sam’s is 48 in a box for $12. Same with everything, yogurts, meats, milk and eggs for goodness sake are a fraction of the price at Sam’s or Costco!

[@TheSharmam]

i have 1 kid and I go to Costco!

[@license2Bort]

113% of monthly income spent and pushing back on cutting $200 off amazon is incredible!

[@license2Bort]

It also frustrates me that a lot their money going to food is junk/fast food.

[@license2Bort]

Wishing this couple the best!

[@TheSharmam]

@@license2Bort yes, dunkin donuts, macD, target snacks, takeouts!

[@jenbar308]

I loved this two-parter. It is my favorite episode in a long time, loved the digging into the numbers-many episodes lately have been shorter and more about emotions as opposed to how emotions affect the details. This one was very relatable to many parents, especially those living in high cost of living areas. Good reminders to have a family vision and to not let temporary pleasures (overspending on non-necessities) take away from larger dreams. I still think Michelle would absolutely love YNAB! But anyway, great episodes! Loved the double update, too.

[@dawnkoplitz1825]

I agree, YNAB is great for people that can’t figure out where their money is going. It’s sobering for people to see their true spending. I love YNAB!

[@jenbar308]

​​⁠me too!! I shared a lot of behaviors with this couple before I discovered YNAB. Life and spending felt very out of control…I think it is vital that they see exactly where the money is going, because most people (my former self included) grossly underestimate their discretionary spending! YNAB shines a light on it allllll.

[@BestVersionofMe1]

I think the reason why the emotions are more of a focus is because that tends to be the root cause of the money issues. Or any other issues in life really. When the emotional connection to a problem isn't worked on, it doesn't matter how good a couple are at crunching the numbers or doing the practical stuff. The emotions will always override logic and reason at some point. It'll always be like 1 step forward, 2 steps back. Once the emotions are dealt with, the details and numbers isn't as difficult to work on. At that point, it's just about gaining practical knowledge and executing. Not easy cause learning and taking action requires discipline and humility, but it's easier than changing the root cause

[@AS-kf1ol]

Her LEARNED HELPLESSNESS is almost triggering. I gre up in poverty. I was surrounded by this mindset. "It doesnt matter" "It doesnt make a difference"... THERAPY IS THE ANSWER.

[@johnd3557]

Unreal you cant cut out $1800 in spending from Target and Amazon a month and call it an income problem lol. Sorry that is not necessary items if you are already spending $1200 a month in groceries. Also temporary on one income would be like 6-12 months maybe 18 months not 9 years... How do you call a decade temporary? This woman is out of touch with reality.

[@o0usf0o]

Us Amazon share holders appreciate the level of commitment this couple has to spending specifically on the website. So much so, it’s a dedicated fixed cost 🙏

[@corinardh8635]

Thank you Michelle and Ryan for sharing so publicly. This is also why this is so awesome and real Changes are hard and scary. I totally agree with Ramit that over spending and inability to say to NO to their children have severe negative effects long term. Just on that point alone, Michelle and Ryan please stay focused and buckle down. The rewards are huge and amazing at the end. Good luck

[@lysec9672]

Overall very impressed by this couple and their follow up. They listed so many takeaways and actionable steps. I believe they will make the much needed changes. Well done to them both and to Ramit. This episode was a really clear example of how to use the CSP to understand your spending and design your rich life!

[@hsk1778]

they're spending close to $20,000 a year on JUST amazon/target purchases, 20% of ryan's post-tax take-home. that's a huge chunk and she feels its not impactful or reasonable to cut? smh

[@Aquaria2291]

And then also wonders why the house is chaotic and full of stuff and it seems impossible to get things in order.

[@__Michelle__]

Loved their update at the end. Sounds like they're cutting down the chaos (and the spending)! Simplifying bank accounts will do a lot on its own.

[@oliviap527]

I am picturing their shopping carts full of cheap stuff that is going to end up in the landfill, but perhaps I am wrong. Three kids is a lot so maybe you really do need all that stuff. Dying to know what stuff they buy. I appreciate Ramit's level-headed approach, but I would love to see this couple on Caleb Hammer's show to pick apart this couple's spending line item by line item. Show us the receipts!!!

[@elizabethmoshiri]

this was like reading my own thoughts!! i am so intrigued to see the exact purchases...pull out the apps and show us goddammit

[@laceybiddy2434]

I emphasize so much with Michelle. She needs to deal with the underlying anger towards Ryan. Its so harmful to their relationship and her health. She needs to unpack her issues. We are so similar to them with our spending. Everything seems like a necessity. I get IT! Something that helped us is for a month to stop buying anything that we can't live or function without. No amazon orders. Do not buy it unless it's life or death. Eat out 1x per week, that's it.

[@hanan1205]

Just finished this episode. You're a patient man, Ramit. As much as this episode was hard to watch but its still needed. Not everyone will come ready to fix their finances and their resistance was totally normal

[@racquelholness169]

felt the same

[@nickbegnaud]

There were some interesting mental gymnastics going on here

[@harisaran1752]

ramit casually dropped the best line, 09:43 you dont solve paper cuts by bandaids, you stop the knife😮😮😮

[@derangedone13]

I don't understand how they're spending almost $3000 a month on groceries and random shopping and they don't think they can drop that?? I can't even imagine what they're buying that so regularly costs that much. 😅

[@TheSharmam]

they can save that moeny and go on a trip and take that stress off!

[@kdonor]

Simplicity Parenting is a great book regarding kids' schedules and well-being.

[@makaela1651]

This has way more to do with pride than people think. She could be shopping at Walmart or Dollar Tree but she’s probably thinks she’s too good to shop at those stores.

[@mzcain1521]

Remit is so funny “chocolate chips are the backbone of our family!” 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 …. I’d like to see what they buy at target and Amazon every month for that much money. Ramit should start asking for receipts

[@NelsonJOrtiz]

Being uncomfortable is uncomfortable

[@kdonor]

Their income is good! It's definitely bigger than my family's and we are doing really well but we're content. Contentment is not always easy but it's so worthwhile.

[@ulysses.cardenas]

I really am trying to understand the lady. She says a $200 change in her CSP " won't make a difference" yet at the same time she also says " It is impossible, no way I can spend $200 less". My question is, is $200 a big or small change for her? Miss, please choose a side

[@guttieri.taylor]

I just finished the whole thing and wanted to change my comment. I really appreciate how patient Ramit is with people and helping them understand what ways of thinking hold them back. I relate to the feeling of ‘I need to have this’ but not really need it. And the further hole that digs my family in. I just couldn’t relate to the amount that was being spent. But seeing their realizations after a while of practicing it, was encouraging and motivating. We just started working through the CSP and Rich Life mini course. I feel hopeful and like it’s possible to sort ourselves out. Thank you for the great content and education!

[@PayThePiperr]

The first important lessons to teach your children is the world does not revolve around them!! Not only does this breed more adults who are collective less selfish but it also helps with their ability to cope when life inevitably does not provide what they want/need. It's an important lesson. They are crippling these kids and that is not hyperbolic.

[@HerAeolianHarp]

Agreed.

[@aprilstiek7430]

They feel so bad to take things out for their kids but they could do tons of free stuff with them. It’s not like the kids would have no fun! You don’t have to go to an amusement park where food and toys cost a kazillion dollars. Look online for free stuff in your area, ride bikes, picnic, hike, free day at the zoo and museums, play board games, or drawing. Just start looking!

[@Aquaria2291]

Yess, and I'm sure they'll find themselves getting more use out of the stuff they already have in the house.

[@TheSharmam]

we went to Diney and packed all the snacks, even water. and did not buy any toy for our kid and neither did my kid ask for one as I never go shopping with her or let her get whatver she wants

[@HelloLudger]

Kids activities you are not willing to cut should be fixed costs. And moving them to guilt free spending achieves nothing.

[@arh1234]

It reinforces that they are not truly fixed, and they're choosing to spemd the money.

[@ang8925]

@helloludger EXACTLY! Annnd it means that the parents have that much less of a rich life because now they can't afford date night cuz the kids are sucking it all up!

[@HelloLudger]

​@arh1234 rent is a fixed cost even though one could move somewhere cheaper. Their problem is mindless spending. Keep kids activities that are worth the spending as fixed costs, not move them around for reducing fixed cost bust spending the same. Than can say "we could spwnd 200$ less on Target" because they have no clue what they buy there (that really improves their life).

[@TheSharmam]

as a parent, I was surprised to see that being the first item to go, like she focused on it like a laser beam, they could have cut more from other areas and cut less here, but nope!!! I am not sure what that will acheive in the long run except more time parenting them!

[@decidocisum]

We just moved back to NYC so we had a ton of expenses... apartment, furniture, etc., and the inertia of spending from a cheaper state. We sat down and tracked our spending on Monarch, and when we had 30 days of data, we cut 4,000 eating out, 1,400 on take out, and around another 6,000 on random BS... this happened in one afternoon. We went from negative cash flow to positive in that one 2 hour conversation. You can find savings, but you have to want to find it. We now refuse to order takeout or eat out Monday to Thursday.

[@Cocolula]

Ramit, I’d like to thank you hugely for teaching what it is to think big and of my rich life instead of small, worrying over pennies and even though you would not approve of my current rich life execution I’m doing something for me and this has taken a lifetime to get to. I am and intend to stay a me not we, maybe you have an alternative audience who would benefit from your targeted help. Many thanks again for your wonderful teachings.

[@Master_Sri_Arkashana1]

Much Appreciated.

[@soumyajeetchakrabarty6872]

Anyone who's reading this kindly don't take it the wrong way and P.S. I know I come from a privileged adolescence and thanks to education I am humble and thankful about it yet not guilty or proud. When my father married my mum, he completely went Chinese. That is to say he believed in single family single child if you were in the lower middle class strata. Thanks to the decision he had taken some 40 years ago, it has has helped me a long way. I had the privilege to go to one of the fanciest convent school for boys in Calcutta, one of the best swimming and cricket clubs, had seperate tutors for art and literature and had tutors for all my weakest subjects. Had my parents had two or three kids I don't think I would have had the upbringing that my father gave to me. Somehow that message has sown into my brain and right now I feel comfortable leading a SINK life (Single Income No Kids) in our troubled economy where if you earn Rs 25000 or above you fall in the top 10 percent of the Indian food chain.

[@CambieSweets]

I’ve made similar comments under other couple’s interviews with Ramit. Prop do not want to accept how expensive children are and how irresponsible it is to bring them into this world before accessing if you can actually afford to have multiple children…or any children. The number of couples who have come on to this podcast struggling financially pre children, who then decide to have kids while still struggling blows my mind.

[@soumyajeetchakrabarty6872]

@@CambieSweets Totally agree, I believe that if you cannot give good nutrition, good education, can't teach or cannot afford to hire someone to teach the soft skills either that is required for your professional life or when when he / she is taking a lady or a gent out for a date then you have to make the hard decision of not having kids.

[@ang8925]

@@soumyajeetchakrabarty6872 that's the thing though, when you're spending THAT kind of dollarie-doos at T & A mixing food with necessities considered, you're NOT feeding good nutrition. You're creating & feeding a sugar addiction! Is 10 pounds of spinach & 10 pounds of kale being delivered by A-WF? ofc not!

[@annacayanan1]

Ramit shined a light on where they were not in control of their expenses. Folks that criticized and made fun of the couple for what was discussed during majority of the video should watch the very end where they posted their follow-up videos describing the lessons they learned. I think Ramit gave them a wake-up call and from the sound of it, they are striving to make better financial decisions.

[@corinardh8635]

I want to complement Ramit on his wardrobe. I watched his Netflix show again. He looks put together and comfortable. Very approachable

[@HerAeolianHarp]

Ramit has good taste that invites interest instead of feeling like a barrier.

[@robertmrcd14]

When my wife and I lived with my parents in NJ. I would buy groceries for the house every week. For a family of 6 (wife/me, parents, sister & niece) I would spend roughly 600-700 a month. They can definitely drop what they spend on groceries

[@robnelson6545]

Groceries have gone up a lot

[@robertmrcd14]

@@robnelson6545 that’s the amount I was paying earlier this year. Now my wife and I pay around $400 for the two of us (we splurge for the super healthy food and snacks)

[@mamalovesthebeach437]

This couple was very brave to come on here and expose their finances and family life. I would never do this😂 we can all feel judgmental when the ball is in the other court. The one thing thing I would say is the best thing you can do for your kids is to say “NO”.

[@ramitsethi]

00:00 Download the Conscious Spending Plan so you can use your money GUILT-FREE: iwt.com/csp-youtube Please remember: These are real people who had the courage to come on my podcast and ask for help. Would you be willing to come on this podcast and share every detail of your financial life? Feel free to leave comments based on what you think, but remember that we are here to help in a supportive way, not to demean and criticize.

[@christy4451]

I bought your book, watched every podcast, starting your Netflix series, recommended you to all my clients, got into the habit of asking “what is your rich life” to every person I encounter… all these experiences were positive. I downloaded the conscious spending plan and cried at how much in the negative I am (financial loss due to divorce), trying to push forward daily! Thank you for your role in my life, even though I have never met you!

[@ParkDari]

We started with a baseline rule that my parents established. Each child gets a laundry basket. That is what holds their toys if they get a new toy laundry basket is full they must choose a toy to give away. Both my parents were physicians, but there were six kids. We only had one child, but that was still the rule, and my husband was completely fine with it as soon as the child could walk, the child was responsible for putting away their toys it was very easy for the toddler. Take toys and throw in basket. We did the same with their clothes,we had a rack that had cloth boxes in it. Shirt box, box, underwear, box sock box shoebox toddlers, grow very fast. They don’t need more than about 5 to 6 outfits. Also, their clothing was the finest baby clothing bought used. Only shoes, socks and underwear were new and the grandparents loved being in charge of a new outfit for Easter a new winter coat each year and each pair of shoes. Because my husband can’t stand loud noise we told all family members if you give our child a noisy toy it will live at your house. Which honestly the grandparents loved. Our child watched videos from the library but never had access to tv, there was no cable the tv was just a screen to show movies. We lived in a 563sq ft foreclosed condo that we paid off in 3 years before the kid started Catholic school. We stayed in that 563 sq ft for 16yrs to cash flow the finest education, they chose 1 activity per year. I watched every kid fashion trend carefully to acquire the same item USED so they would match the other kids and never stick out. The kid got a full merit scholarship to University and has parents that are FI. They will never have to worry about taking care of us when we are old. The kid is amazing at managing their money can totally run a household on their own and is already into FIRE. Raising kids with this type of rich life is a bad idea in my opinion. Just sets the child up for unreasonable expectations, and likely huge consumer debt.

[@thewriteplaceforme6874]

**Love the double update!!! I wondered if the after-call update would still be in effect after a few months. Glad to hear they're moving forward. It was a frustrating episode in a lot of ways (no judgment, I'm sure I have similar patterns at times). The main challenge for them I think is that they somehow ended up with a Things = Love equation ruling their decisions. I think they could take some time to think about what else feels like love that doesn't involve money. That will hopefully lead them to a joint Rich Life vision that they love. And the kids will take positive messages from that instead of wondering why they are the cause of their parents' chaos.

[@nosirrahm]

It was driving me nuts that she was only looking to reduce temporarily until they’re dual income again. Being dual income, would not have solved this issue.

[@MsAFunk]

Having line items for Target and Amazon is wild to me. It feels like a way to hide behind thinking "Well, we DO buy toilet paper at Target, so everything we buy at Target is part of our fixed costs," but I think we all know how easy it is to go into Target for toothpaste, and end up spending $300 dollars because we take a little lap around the store "just in case I'm forgetting something." If they are really serious about getting the Target and Amazon spending under control, they need to get their absolute essentials on auto-shipment from amazon (things like toilet paper, paper towels, personal hygiene products, cleaning products) , put THAT monthly amount in the Fixed Cost section of the CSP as "Daily Needs" and then stop going to Target and Amazon until they break that over-consumption habit. I'm all for not sweating the $30 decisions, but when you're making 30 $30 decisions a month, THAT starts really adding up!

[@debbielockhart7762]

I found those line items so bizarre. Like, what is it? She annoyed the crap out of me. I could not have been as patient as Ramit with her attitude.

[@TheSharmam]

amazon is hella expensive for subscriptions, its better to go to Costco with their family size

[@Azel247]

Willing to cut kid's activities to $0. Not willing to cut down on Amazon spending. Say it's an income problem but not willing to get a job. Not sure where the priorities are here.

[@robnelson6545]

Yeah, I don’t think the spending is for their kids

[@jenya7092]

I “love” how this people say we can’t cut expenses. But sooner or later someone will cut it for you, since you are spending 13% over your budget. Where do you think this money will keep coming from?

[@Michael-jd5vf]

Someone in part 1 said this couple needs therapy. Well, part 2 has confirmed this. Their marriage is dying and each parent wants to be the one the kids love. They are literally competing with each other using their kids. It’s subtle but also clear as day. I’m going to guess that the husband was irritated when they had kids and the wife stopped working and even though the wife is home taking care of the kids, isn’t also taking care of the house. HE doesn’t respect her anymore, but doesn’t know what to do. Divorce, he loses almost everything. We’re in a society that created this! Dude can’t speak up and I bet my bottom dollar they probably fight every other day. Also, There is partnership (husband + wife) building and there is family (+kids) building. They are not the same! We need to work on both, at the same time. Your partner is yours, your kids ain’t. Your job as a parent is to instill value and good qualities in your kids. They are there to make you a better version of yourself, not to be used as weapons against each other. (Note to future self)

[@delgriffithification]

The price of everything, the value of nothing.

[@mmarieritter216]

I feel like this lady is doing aesthetic stocking up reels on Tik Tok and just not telling anyone. Literally the only reason those costs would be that high. It's delulu to tell yourself you need like $2-3k monthly merchandise budget. Friend, there are things going on in your mind that you are absolutely not reckoning with.

[@stephanielevonne]

I didn't even think about that but it totally makes sense. I doubt she's monetizing that, unfortunately.

[@amyoates106]

You are amazing! This is sooooo necessary for everyone!!!!

[@richheruk]

I feel like they need to cut out Target and Amazon altogether. They can get all of their essentials during their main grocery shop (yes, they may not be able to buy in bulk). They don't have the discipline to continue to buy from Target and Amazon and not get tempted by all of the non-essentials.

[@WillowandThatch]

So much consumerism leading to so much discord. I wish them deep, soulful healing around the need to shop and spend. I wish their family unity and joy and the knowledge that the simple things like connection and being present with each other cost nothing and are worth everything.

[@jessicakullander8517]

Thanks for a couple with more realistic/relatable income and lifestyle. This family still makes more than my spouse and I combined, and we have 3 kids and we never spend so much on activities (each kid still gets to do 2-3 per year) , target, shopping, groceries, etc! I wonder what they are buying?

[@danielromerosol4158]

We have 2 kids (5 and 3), and we live in a very hot place (Abu Dhabi 🇦🇪). During summer, we are also victims of overindulgence while going to the malls and attractions. I kind a simpitize with their pain. But if you plan and are mindful you can keep some sort of control. Can wait for summer to end so we can go to the parks and beach so we can save some money

[@tracyaf6084]

We just had a 4 day heatwave and it was challenging to keep the kids entertained inside the house. I can imagine a whole season would be rough!

[@zoraster3749]

“Frugality includes all other virtues.” -Cicero

[@cncntrc]

They see every line item as a death by a thousand cuts. When it shoukd be gaining back their life and freedom from those thousand cuts.

[@FreedomPlaya]

Beautiful turn-around for this couple. Great coaching Ramit👏👏

[@MegVanAbi]

This was both frustrating and relatable. I wish them well.

[@CollinRutherford]

Setting constraints and making incremental changes can really help turn around chaotic financial situations.

[@LORDJesusisLove]

Ramit, I love how you spoke life and said that they are great and can be even greater together as a team.

[@MaraShen-qg4ge]

This is such a good and educational episode thank you ramit and the guests

[@musicart2007]

I am in such awe to how you handled this. My gosh, I needed to go for a run after listening to her be so unproductive. I am in such awe bc of how you handled her. You remined calm and you found positive ways to reword what she said. I generally don't like to put words in people's mouths but I'm getting strong vibes from her that she hates her situation. She comes off as if she hates being home and she's putting off a huge negative energy toward him. It feels like she blames him for not making more, when SHE'S the one not making money.

[@TheSharmam]

and spending recklessly

[@tomlee45]

I'm very curious how they are spending 1k on Amazon per month. I feel that if they broke down this itemization, they could see where they can cut back.

[@rajak3958]

Some of these comments are pretty delusional. For instance, some people are saying that kids don’t need to be in any activities and that you don’t need to spend money for your kids activities at all. My 10-year-old just started softball and we’re spending about $300 on equipment alone and $100 on the registration. This is all easily affordable for us, but there is always going to be a cost for kids activities.

[@tracyaf6084]

As long as you can afford them I don’t think it’s a problem. I spend close to $900 a month on kids sports. It’s well worth it to us and takes the place of a lot of other “entertainment” expenses.

[@kartikprasad4359]

For my activities, I just needed a baseball mitt, a bat, and some balls.

[@tracyaf6084]

@@kartikprasad4359 I’d wonder how old you are or where you grew up. It was like that when I was a kid in the 80s/90s in a smaller town. It’s definitely not like that for my kids now in Southern California.

[@jr5557]

When you can’t afford it, I don’t think it’s delusional to say you shouldn’t be spending money on it.

[@kartikprasad4359]

@@tracyaf6084 Grew up in the 80s, played a lot of unorganized sports.

[@kirbiejohnson4475]

I'm stunned that folks can't say, "no" to their kids. What the heck are they buying from Amazon for 1k a month, and then Target. this 'I'll buy you something and you will love me' mentality has got to stop with parents. Kids love you just because you are their parents. you don't need to 'buy their love or think you are buying their love', that makes them not stable in society

[@zacharyfair6738]

I think understanding what they are buying at target & amazon would be more helpful. Example - if spending $1000 on groceries and then $500 more at target.... the issue is too much processed food. Start cooking at home... $500 for laundry detergent, paper products, etc. is still a lot at target each month. People like this spend $50 a day on nothing. 4 coffees each per day, fast food 3x per week for the family, Pizza night on Friday, etc. There is no sense of purpose.

[@Jai_BestLife]

OMG! I don't know how I missed this before, but they spend nearly $4K on groceries, snacks & Amazon BS! HOW SWAY?! These two are coming in HOT in the intro....After finishing the episode, I'm not sure how committed they are long-term. Hopefully, they'll make the necessary hard choices and get on track, because 😨

[@kjames245]

These ppl need the bluntness of Caleb’s Financial Audit👀.. love Ramit but he’s tooo nice😂

[@Vitoriald]

I actually thought that ramit was very stern with them

[@hanan1205]

I dont know why he didn't push her getting a job

[@leannwilson2640]

@@hanan1205 Maybe because it wouldn't really solve anything? They would just keep spending. Their spending needs to change drastically. Net $8000/mo ought to be enough for anyone to live on, right?

[@iyannadaughtrey8119]

Haha that would be interesting!! I watch both channels as well.

[@iyannadaughtrey8119]

Taquitos, taquitos 😂😂

[@rm9115]

What a lovely couple. The follow up was such a great surprise, it was great to hear how they digested all the feedback and put it into action esp. the funding of kids activities and date nights.

[@shreehill9641]

I’m at the beginning but how old are the kids? Kids can totally pick up after themselves and maybe a 30 minute tidy routine before bed would help

[@Rando911]

Good point-even 10 minutes can get things clutter controlled. Put on music and a timer and give it a shot!

[@0reo2]

They're 7

[@shreehill9641]

@@0reo2 oh ok yeah my 7 year old picks up after himself. He can’t “clean” but he can gather…we used to play the clean up song and get the stuff in the right place at a minimum

[@joycef8443]

7, 5, 3

[@Pixlanta]

If they don’t stop catering to their kids, it will only get worse and more expensive, do your kids a favour, say no to them or you will create demanding ungrateful kids who cannot relate to their world and will be entitled. Right now, they are young enough that if you make changes they will easily adjust without or minimal fight back. Kids dint care what activities they have or what stuff they have, they want to spend time woth their parents, feel safe and loved, price tag for that free and priceless.

[@mwise9435]

It makes ZERO sense that Michelle cannot seem to grasp that spending $10K a year in Target and $15k a year at Amazon, on top of another $8k in miscellaneous spending and $15k in groceries annually is WAY out of whack, even for a family of their size. Even in a high COL area, that's crazy impulse spending on non-essentials and they're considering these all fixed costs. That is just disconnected from reality. Ryan seems to get that these numbers can be moved, and moving them will bring things down, Michelle is just so focused on those being "small changes". They're only small changes because you say you can't live without them and are limiting in the reductions. An additional $15k a year by taking amazon to zero (even if you leave the other excesses the same, which you shouldn't) would be HUGE for the budget. But she's like "no we can't do that, we need it, we can't reduce it, nothing works, he needs to make more money for the numbers to work out."

[@alexfarrell2054]

She has a shopping addiction because you can’t be spending that at Target and Amazon with that grocery bill. I’m sorry, but no and that is part of the hesitancy and pushback. She knows she can’t stop and went on about the kids activities being the one to go.

[@Capycorg]

Ooh, that's a great point!

[@notmv]

Unrelated, but Ramit can you make another guilt free spending video that you did before. It was great getting ideas that never even came to mind (i.e: nicer clothes, extra french press, etc) Love the vids :)

[@sogno101]

Some people don't know how to raise children and have boundaries, the over spening is just a symptom of their incompetence as parents. Over $1k on Amazon and over $700 on Target a month, those are NOT small amount! This is so frustrating to watch with that woman's negativity and resistance.