we need to change the way we talk about death and grief.

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[@harriyanna]

also, just wanted to know that my trauma when it comes to being abused including SA is something i still deeply struggle with, to the point where it's really hard for me to talk about in therapy. but since my family members passing away back to back, i been doing better about opening up about it. the main reason i spoke about it here bc i just want yall to know you aren't alone. there's so many people out here who have survived abuse but you never know.

[@skinni_the_P00hBear]

It's crazy how you mentioned Tiana's whole end goal/motivations, her dreams and livelihood center around her dad and it just hit me. As i got older i realized that parts of my personality and my hobbies, interests are like my mom's. I'm the hugest Star Trek fan, and so was my mom. Same with mysteries and true crime and horror scifi, making art to pass the time and take my mind off of the negativity-- my mom did all these things according to stories the people around me tell. Like the stories and pictures and snippets of early memories are the only things i have to go on so its almost like shes a stranger, even though shes the farthest thing from it. It just makes me wonder if I'd be as into these things if she were still here, or if Im just unconsciously integrating them in my personality because she's not here. Sometimes i guess it's normal to think that you're the only one dealing with something like this even when other do too. It's the weirdest feeling: like, comforting to know you're not alone, but torn up inside from seeing others go thru something similar.

[@haileyharmon5298]

As someone who lost a grandfather last year and an uncle in August this year, this video is needed. Grief isn't easy to get over and the process is messy at times.

[@Lilothestitch]

As someone that lost a grandfather in 2007 and a great aunt in 2011 and a grandmother in 2020 and a dog in 2022, this video was needed. Grief is not easy to get over.

[@sharonbaker3007]

Great video! I wish talking about grief and death were more normalized. For some people, once you reach a certain age, it touches you more often; for some, it’s happening long before you have the ability to understand what is really happening…and it’s not something that we really “move on” from. I hate that expression in this context. You “move on” to another job; a new home; new wardrobe; new classes at school, etc. With death especially the only way to keep living is to integrate the loss into your life. However that manifests is different in each person. It’s been 17 years since I lost my Mom, and I still think of her every day. Much love to all that are grieving💙💙💙

[@ishathompson8439]

I think bridge to terabithia did an excellent job at portraying grief through the eyes of a young boy and another great example is a show called you and me which is about a guy whose dealing the death of his girlfriend and being a single father to their children

[@josephyoung6749]

Lost a lot of people too. People are not equipped to deal with death in the US, and they treat anyone who suffers as having a disease that can be contracted which is absolutely absurd.

[@ruejanea]

I lost my father two months ago, this video was much needed

[@RealityHasAWokeBias]

Your affect and cadence makes it seem like you're talking with us in the room we're in. I like these unscripted videos of yours quite a lot. Thanks for another great video with thoughtful analysis 👍

[@Eosinophyllis]

I’ve been thinking about this a lot, my grandma died recently, and I’ve been trying to compose myself. It’s not when I think about her that I feel sad, it’s the little things, like whenever I see a watch like the one she showed me that glowed in the dark when I was little, or see the kinds of snacks she kept around. I don’t know how to feel or how to process anything, I don’t even know if I’ll ever stop feeling sad. I’ve lost a lot of family members, it never gets any easier, I just think I got far worse at dealing with it. i view death as wholly natural and nothing but inevitable, but god, it doesn’t make it hurt any less. I lost my grandpa when I was 9, I still feel that hole nearly daily

[@stxrstruck6755]

Damn this is perfectky timed, my grandfather passed two days ago.

[@haileyharmon5298]

I am so sorry for your loss.

[@arabellasterwerf7980]

I am so sorry for you and your family's loss!💔

[@sharonbaker3007]

I’m so sad and sorry for all who know him💙

[@cosmicsongbird3047]

I'm so sorry. Sending you grace and comfort. ❤

[@Lilothestitch]

I’m so sorry for your loss

[@tyjordanflophour]

Grief hurts. One of the hardest things to convey to other people is how it lingers for a long time. Sometimes it just sits there and feels like it never goes away. I love lighthearted media because it's good for the soul and takes my mind off things. The more grief I had on my plate, the less I wanted to see things that reminded me of it. Healing is easier said than done, but it's worth it for your health if nothing else. Gotta give yourself the tools to get to that better place mentally, whatever that looks like

[@nicatina]

I've lost my grandfather on October 11th. We had his funeral and burial yesterday. I feel embarrassed to cry in front of others, so I tried my best to hold back my tears. But as someone once told me, it okay to grieve because it what makes us human. We weren't exactly close nor I visit him often due to personal family conflicts between my parents. But I still wanted to show up at his funeral out of respect, care, and to show him that I never really forgotten about him nor that I ever stopped caring. He is family.

[@-cocoa]

Yeah crying in front of people is embarrassing

[@skinni_the_P00hBear]

Unfortunately this is something i can weigh in on. I lost my mom when i was 7; Tuesday it'll be 16 years. As a child it was just a fact that Id sometimes cry about or crack some dark ass humor with my siblings about. But weighing in on it when I'm older just hits different. Especially when i see all the ways its affecting me in adulthood, the absence of a mother figure during crucial parts of womanhood. Moesha, while i understand that she was hurting, was doing a lil too much sometimes because i have a stepmother too, and its never been it for me. I'd kill for a stepmom like Dee frfr 👀💀 Whenever i see shows portraying grief, like Moesha or Never Have I Ever, even the Rugrats in Paris movie (which tore me tf up 😭😭). Obviously everyone handles it differently, like i handled it differently than the rest of my siblings, but yeah Disney doesn't really do it for me. Its great that they portray it in their stories but the solution comes hella quick and the MC just moves on along with everyone else and idk...what if kids watch that and unfortunately have to deal with the loss of a loved one? Said child sees the MC getting over it in 35 minutes and I'm just worried it shows death as being way easier to handle and process than it really is. I like how shows like Sydney to the Max would bring the mom up throughput the series instead of never touching on the subject ever again. And ofc Disney went and canceled it 😒💀

[@skinni_the_P00hBear]

With the Rugrats storyline, I think I resonate with Chuckie's loss of a mom the most. Until his dad told him the story he just thought he didn't have a mom like the rest of the kids did. And after like a decade that became a fact in my life. Me and my siblings just didn't have one. But hearing him talk about how his dad became his mom, and how he does all the things a mom would do, that hit me deep. Because even though my dad remarried so that we'd have a "mom", i still don't have that "mother figure placeholder" or anything like that. He taught my brothers and sisters and me how to cook, sew, iron, clean--hell, he even taught my sisters and me about periods and wearing bras lol. I can't get thru that Mother's Day episode of Rugrats OR The Paris movie without ugly crying. It came out way before my mom passed but it really resonates with me😭💀

[@isabear478]

omg same my mom died when i was 8 of cancer we found out too late and i found myself losing a lot of memories of her and now being 16 but its scary to say i dont have connection to her maybe i loved her then but i just didnt have enough time with her like i didnt know her age till i had to send he death certificate for my passport renewal its like shes a stranger i dont know what to be sad about

[@skinni_the_P00hBear]

@isabear478 I'm sorry for your loss. I think it's just confusing. A mother and child are supposed to have this emotional, biological, genetic connection, and when the connection (or the potential for one) is severed, especially at a young age, it's like you never met them. It just leaves this emptiness that you don't know what to fill it with. At least that's how i see it.

[@witchplease9695]

The book Legendborn has some of the best portrayal of grief I’ve read and the main character is a Black girl. It’s a great and refreshing read.

[@asanitheafrofuturist]

I was tearin up some watchin this video! It takes a lot of bravery and courage to speak publicly about this type of stuff for real!! Nice work on this video!! 👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾 I'm speechless!

[@jombie243]

31:37 you are so right about this. when my friend died 5 years ago, i needed something to cheer me up, and the show Friends really did that for me & every time i watch it again, i think of the times it cheered me up during that period. sending all my love to you, harri and also those who have lost a loved one ❤️ (forgive me for grammar errors, i live in Belgium 😄)

[@topquality3896]

I'm sorry for your loss

[@FlowerBunniez]

Thanks for sharing your perspective. Hope you find peace through your grief, and may your art and journaling continue to bring you joy and happiness 🌈

[@gaymer26]

I’m so glad you made a video about this. My mom passed away on the 2nd of October and I’m still trying to process that my mom is no longer here with me.

[@cerisejaxel9636]

Very good video. You truly become someone else while grieving! Two years ago my brother and his family moved. I know that isn’t particularly heart wrenching, but there’s more to it than that. I had lost both grandparents and an aunt in the past year before that, and hadn’t really processed their deaths, mostly was numb to them. I ended up finally grieving them all after my brother left. On top of that, my two closest friends were doing a lot of things together without me. Normally, I’m not at all a jealous person and I usually enjoy being alone, but at that time, I felt a very new and sharp loneliness and jealousy. I’d get through my work days and go home and cry. I reached out to my friends, and let them know I wanted to see them, maybe get a drink together. They said they’d let me know. They ended up drinking together without telling me (in hindsight, they didn’t plan on it, it was just a last second decision, BUT they still didn’t invite me knowing I wanted to go.) Anyway, it was a difficult time, and I was surprised that I had such strong, raw feelings. Didn’t realize I was capable of feeling such pain and loneliness. My friends and I are totally cool though and they didn’t realize I was hurting so badly. Thank you for sharing this with us Harri.

[@emilyrln]

This was beautiful and spoke to me deeply. Grief takes so many different shapes, depending on the relationship, where we are in our life, external influences… so often media simplifies it (which makes sense given the time/page/etc constraints), but I would also love to see more variety. It's really valuable for people to see ourselves and our experiences in media. Sometimes I don't give myself space to feel a certain way, but when I see someone else feeling that way, I'm usually more generous, and then I realize how hard I was being on myself.

[@ItsAllNunya]

I became a totally different person after my brother died. I was given NO grace by my peers to be angry and agonized and to mourn. Nobody seemed to care. Nobody thought to ask or wonder why i was lashing out so much. Not once was i given a shred of sympathy. I lost all my friends but one. It was their right to leave, i respect that, i still wish there had been some attempt to reach out. I was so hurt and angry. There was nobody to blame, nobody to direct my rage at, so it exploded at those i loved. Cancer is a ravenous monster that takes and takes and theres no villain to attack. It all pours out like acid on the wrong people and theres never a right person. Its his birthday tomorrow. He would be 23. Sorry for the tangent. Thinking about Big Hero 6 got me going. Its as painful a movie as it is cathartic. I wish there was somebody i could blame for his death. Systemic medical racism is too abstract to punch. Not that you need my permission but i understand if you delete this comment. Its. A lot.

[@Nega_rell]

Off topic but why did KZbin unsubscribe me from you 😢😅 i lost my favorite aunt 2 months ago unfortunately

[@josephyoung6749]

24:12

[@izzyc127]

Sending you so much love during this time. 🫂❤️‍🩹 for the ending, something that cheered me up during my junior year of HS when my grandma died was watching every Star Trek TV show. Watching all of the Star Trek shows felt cathartic to me in not only healing my grief but it taught me that even in the darkest days in our lives, the light will win over the darkness. It also gives me hope for a better future with diversity and inclusion.