We need to talk about woman-on-woman hate & envy

[@jtp2r]

Meg the Stallion wasn't allegedly shot. She was shot by Tory Lanez. Just to be clear.

[@AnaPsychology]

Oh I have no doubt, just trying to cover my bases cause abusers are renowned to be litigious

[@kidawesomeness123]

@@AnaPsychology he was officially charged in court and found guilty, so you're in the clear to say he did it for future reference

[@lastilnovista]

yes, i am so sick of wishy-washy language used to downplay male violence. it’s perfectly acceptable to say “Tory Lanez, who was tried and convicted for shooting Megan Thee Stallion . . .” they can’t litigate hard facts.

[@honeym7408]

Thank you so much for addressing this issue. Sometimes I feel really frustrated that people are still rushing to pick up their torches when they sense a chance to hate on a woman. It’s horrible.

[@AnaPsychology]

I’m with you on that one :( I’ve honestly been pretty upset the past few weeks and needed to take social media breaks because of how much vitriol I’ve been seeing.

[@DanielMasmanian]

Doc, love your work so please take it easy. Or come out to Aus - it's still summer 😊 ​@@AnaPsychology

[@nonamenoname1133]

Friends, remember that deprogramming is a game of inches. It will take a lot of "wait a minute, nah" moments, but every single one matters and counts for one less hot take you would have made if you weren't trying.

[@klaratehcoolcat]

Hell yea. It's important not to let our growth become an exercise in unproductive self -flagellation. No point in being upset or judgemental about beliefs we never chose to learn; what's important is the beliefs we DO CHOOSE to learn. And that process involves a lot of productive self reflection, walking back our unthought gut reactions, and loving ourselves enough to hold space for others.

[@Sophia-ks9yu]

One issue I don’t think is talked about enough is that people don’t understand that others can be annoying and difficult without being evil and horrible human beings. It’s so weird to me how famous women are either mother Theresa or the devil himself, yet literally nobody is either of those

[@hanatemonstas4485]

We love dichotomies and binary thinking unfortunately. Nuance is hard.

[@amazinggrapes3045]

mother Theresa literally was mother Theresa

[@Anna133199]

Mother Teresa was really shitty, but I agree with your point. People are various shades of gray.

[@manifest2203]

But mn on the other hand never experience this. If it is a smal thing, everyone gaslights everyone saying that it’s a small thing, it doesn’t matter or even “that thing didn’t happen”. IMO this is what emboldens them to get worse and worse. No matter what mn do, they are seen with a “poor ma5n, he didn’t know better”.

[@bbyjirl]

Something I can appreciate about myself is that I’m very aware when I feel insecure about another woman and I can be honest with myself about projections I may be making instead of taking it out on them. I wasn’t always like this, but you’re right, it does feel good to let go of the secondary emotional reactions arising from insecurity towards another woman.

[@middledog466]

❤️

[@sinovuyobudaza7167]

❤

[@nataliaalfonso2662]

You probably still are not always like this.

[@lillipearse5579]

That’s awesome. It’s something I’ve had to work on a lot too but having been the recipient as well as the perpetrator, I’ve realised this kind of indirect aggression is something I never want to do to someone

[@Doodooheadjohnny]

Weird because it be married women as well from what I’ve seen that say stuff like “yes I know how women are and how they move” to rationalize their hatred towards the women you mentioned, completed out of the dating pool all together

[@AnaPsychology]

I’ve noticed a lot of those women are in unfulfilling relationships where their partners don’t make them feel very secure. It’s muuuch easier to slip into woman-on-woman hate if you feel like your man might be swept away at the slightest breeze.

[@averybell4273]

For Angelina, I completely believe her, he did something awful and his son stood up for his mother.

[@rutvikrs]

Amber Heard too.

[@Sinkh]

Thank you for this. The only thing I would add is that it is curious that people would hate on Angelina Jolie for infidelity or Blake Lively for getting married on a plantation but not hate Brad Pitt or Ryan Reynolds for the same thing. So I still don't believe that the hatred amounts to much more than misogyny. Nice try though, haters.

[@nanomia]

so true!

[@beckyeastham9426]

Thisss

[@KC.2049]

NO ONE talks about the allegations of DV and assault against Angelina and the kids done by Brad Pitt. no one.

[@sindelscat9336]

The thing is so many people hate on Brad Pitt and call him an abuser despite only being an allegation, so while yes there can be misogyny, it's not solely that

[@izzybennet.t]

yeah my only critique of this video is it didn't hit on internalized misogyny and how this is something that benefits the patriarchy. It's a power system instilled by the patriarchy; women viewing other women as constant competition, as well as the oversexualization of women (why women who are dressed provocatively get hate), benefits men while continuing to oppress women. Not getting into the celebrity women discussed in this video because the issue is greater than women hating on celebrity women while defending men. I was thinking in a more personal/daily situation. For instance, it benefits men if the women in the office continually rate each other lower than the men (even if they perform better work) due to viewing them as competition, while doing more favors for the men because of this perceived competition.

[@meeapeea]

For my new years decisions, I did include a note for myself; I am not immune to propaganda and to remember that. The decision came especially because I noticed myself having oddly strong opinions on celebrities that I didn't think I cared for before. And that one note has already slapped me in the face twice this January! It's a hard pill to swallow.

[@louise6268]

As an autistic lesbian, woman-on-woman hate/competition has always been confusing Now I get it, but it still doesn't make sense Barf

[@rampaginwalrus]

huge mood

[@klaratehcoolcat]

As a woman with many autistic traits (but not assessed) I literally became an NLOG because of this dynamic. I couldn't understand, now I intellectually understand but can't empathize. Male sexual attention was rly uncomfortable for me, and when I noticed some girls (with large chests) in my high school get lots of it..... I was NOT jealous lol. Male friendship was chill though. I was always super jealous of women who had lots of women friends though

[@meis7]

i am not autistic but as a neurodivergent lesbian i agree lol

[@EH23831]

It hasn’t become widespread- always was widespread (take it from a 55 years old)

[@AnaPsychology]

I completely believe you! I can't decide whether that makes me feel worse or better

[@Coral_Forever]

Yes, this is a very old problem. But we hear about 24x7 online now. Silver lining: Dr. Ana is online, too! Great, insightful video.

[@EH23831]

@@Coral_Forever very true. My daughter’s generation (Gen Z) are much better informed and have many many more resources than my generation ever did ☺️ It’s great to see how switched on and strong she and her friends are

[@lastilnovista]

yes! Karine Alourde discusses this on her channel a lot. this was de rigeur in Old Hollywood. misogynistic smear campaigns were constantly used to “keep women in their place.” tale as old as time.

[@Durandal_1707_UESC]

What's interesting is that in my experience men can be equally insecure but actually have the opposite problem. I've seen numerous attractive men who are the most threatened by their less attractive conterparts that receive attention from women. This can create a spiral of "Well she has to be with him only for his money or his size..." etc. I'd love to see a video covering this topic as well, especially if there are studies done on it.

[@Boahemaa]

This! Yes cos women cannot like a man for his personality and kindness.

[@elisam.r.9960]

I second this suggestion wholeheartedly.

[@Doxygurl]

So true. I know so many beautiful women who are tormented not only by jealous romantic rivals, but also by the men who cannot have them and resent them for it.

[@badasfunk]

Poor beautiful women. Reverse halo effect.

[@lunaloynaz-lopez2318]

Yup. And nobody says anything

[@middledog466]

@@badasfunkis this sarcasm lmao

[@sindelscat9336]

Welp, when you're attractive, there are good things about it, and bad things, but at the end of the day people will always be unhappy, no matter what you do

[@Doxygurl]

@@sindelscat9336 this is true! I just never understood/believed that people could be nasty over jealousy until I saw it in my own life.

[@espiritu_]

Indirect aggression is so hard when it’s coming from your MIL and SIL.

[@kristinmeyer489]

This hate doesn't only happen to celebrities.

[@erin5763]

I was soooo bad with the passive aggression towards other girls when i was in high school. I had such low self esteem (still working on it). Luckily i came to the relisation that these pretty girls could be very sweet and that my actions were just hateful and mean. Occasionally the feelings can still bubble up, but i stop and think before i act.

[@meredithgletty9129]

I feel it works on two levels: the aggressor not only imagines herself being recognized as the real deal by the beloved man, previously under the spell of a deviant mean girl, but by being vocal about it also signals to men in her own sphere that she's not one of "those girls", one who is going to challenge him or fail to understand his specialness. Inside scoop from reformed "pick-me" from a time before we called it that. Thank God we didn't have social media when I was young 🙏

[@vlandorrackhum5420]

sure, but it would be nice if you talked about ordinary women too. There is a woman on woman hate in an inherent subconscious level. I used to teach primary, and girl on girl hate seemed very prevalent and hurtful to a level I never saw the boys do (especially on a psychological level). The girls would hold grudges against each other for things they did to them in Kindergarten (so years in the past). They would muck, laugh or exclude the intelligent girl, the pretty girl, the quiet girl or the unconventional one. As a teacher it would really sadden me, and I would try my best to keep my classroom free from that type of thing, but I always knew that outside of the classroom I couldn't do much and though I tried to foment inclusion and mitigate hate I always knew it wouldn't be enough. I'd love to hear you talk about that too.

[@amazinggrapes3045]

Exclude girls who are too different from them or make them feel insecure about themselves... then call them names when those girls prefer to hang out alone or make friends with boys 🙃 it happens

[@AnaPsychology]

That must have been so hard to witness :( I focused this video on PR campaigns and celebrity hate culture because it's something that's been on my mind lately, but the research can absolutely apply to the "real world" as well, so to speak!

[@rebeccabarrand5132]

What kind of girls did you notice would leave others out? I'm curious cause I was left out as a child by other girls and wonder if I had a trait that was seen as socially unacceptable. So, did the bullies have better social skills or prettier?

[@chioma5633]

YES. It's not just in popular culture, it's in real life in every day situations. Workplaces and social groups. We're really failing each other. It's like all the critical thinking skills fly out of the window, and they will try to say that because a woman said something sarcastic one time that she couldn't be sexually harassed. I can't believe people think that makes sense.

[@LiLzZluvinJ]

Did we learn nothing from Mean Girls? Like that was the whole point of that movie.

[@girl-fromthemoon]

To me it looks like a coping mechanism for these pickmes to turn a blind eye to the pervasive misogyny in society and not acknowledge the fact that they're not immune to it, despite their efforts and their holier-than-thou attitude.

[@isabellesurya8767]

This phenomenon also occurred in normal folks especially when the husbands are willingly to cheat with s*x workers or just women in general (usually younger more naive coworker at his office or even older women). Hardly ever heard or seen any comments towards the husbands, instead the majority of people condemn the women even more with the "you should know better, he's married". When in reality, it should be "you should know better, you're married" towards the husbands. Oddly enough, I have never seen such condemnation when men cheat on their women with other men (the downlow husband phenomenon). Never seen the same level of anger or disgust other women project towards the sideman like they would've been to a woman. What I've noticed is the blame and hatred would go to the women whose actually the victim telling them they don't vet properly or blaming them for not being aware of the signs as if women have nothing else to do besides observing men . Insane how quickly people would go after the women. It's like a modernized digital version of the witch hunt/trial.

[@mercedeswalt6621]

That’s a really good point! Everyone just shit on Monica. Nobody shit on Bill. Even when Hillary ran against Trump, they had a slogan making Bill’s predatory actions her fault.

[@Verstaerkerrrfloor]

I just thought about this today. Thank you for the video. This is so important.

[@bonniea.1941]

Thanks for talking about this. I’ve never gotten why this is a thing. Your videos are super helpful for educating Us all out of bad behavior (hopefully).

[@CharlotteLyfe]

Majority of these women are educated, smart, beautiful, successful... and i still don't understand why anyone would hate these women they've NEVER had an interaction or relationship with. They've done so much, often more, then what the average people would ever achieved. And they are great role models for other women and girls.

[@jane9469]

Amber Heard almost certainly abused her own sister. She is not a role model. I acknowledge the point this lady is making, but it shouldn't overshadow the tell-tale signs of abusive personalities.

[@sindelscat9336]

Amber Heard definitely deserved to be criticized tho

[@Lucina..]

Every single one of the women you listed at the beginning: my first thought regarding each of them when I discovered them for the first time was that they were almost mesmerisingly beautiful. I feel like that must be relevant somehow.

[@erikavenelish2039]

Literally when she said what is in common between these women? My answer as each one came up was "pretty, pretty, pretty, drop dead gorgeous... (can't wait for Megan's show to come out)... pretty... is there something I'm missing?"

[@ThomasGeelens]

An (ex) friend of mine was always like: Women! Powerful women! But then when another woman in her life (or not even in her life) did or was something she disapproved of she would go NUTS about their behaviour and all of a sudden the 'Yes all women!' flew out of the window. So much for solidarity.

[@buttzpoopindowski6851]

Can you also do a video on how the term 'pick me' is being bastardized to shame women for not being fem enough or engaging in masculine hobbies? Starting to see Tom boys, gamers, and ND folx get bullied for not being stereotypical girly girls, even if they aren't straight. Thought this video would touch on that a bit.

[@bostonb4kedbeans]

Yeah, that's not the reason they're called pick mes. They're called Pick mes if they feel the need to put down other women to lift themselves up...

[@gpn2903]

and it hurts so much more when ins indirect. You don't know if its just in your head but you feel the hate and comparison the girl has for you. And you're almost always right

[@rebekahnewman3876]

Sooooo true

[@kyledevane8782]

You break this down well! This "derogation of rivals" strategy instead of the "self promotion", probably can be seen in other situations than para social relationships and females too. I think of custody battles and work places because of my own experience. I appreciate you trying to find compassionate advice for each position.

[@kristinmeyer489]

How about how Britney Spears was treated? Do you think in your wildnest nightmares that a man would have EVER been as mistreated as that??????????

[@rutvikrs]

Yes? Plenty of men have been treated worse than Britney for being politically or socially expedient. The only difference is its easier to "disappear" them.

[@purelightapologetics4930]

When I heard that list of women, I thought, “I know little to nothing about any of them.” That’s the thing they all had in common so far as I’m concerned. 😅

[@kigill7782]

The Johnny Depp and Amber Heard trial in 2022 really changed my perspective of women. Women were extremely horrible and mean to Amber on such a vicious scale. Even so called feminists. Changed my life and views altogether.

[@HibekiGuy]

Wdym abusive lmao The verdict was very clearly against her.

[@middledog466]

i think that situation is slightly different from the rest in that she is thoroughly accused of being an abuser, to johnny depp and to her ex. Live Abuse Free did a series on the trial that had nothing to do with ambers celebrity. very interesting and informative analysis though i do see how it correlates the same

[@amazinggrapes3045]

Yeah, the way women were called pickmes for not taking the abuser's side just because she was a woman too was revolting

[@marko112kg]

@@HibekiGuynot in the UK

[@mollof7893]

Reminds me of an old Facebook post about an 'ugly' woman who got so much hate from other women because her husband was tall, fit and handsome.

[@lukehenderson5097]

Olivia Wilde also got a lot of hate for making the incel's psychologist feel slightly sad.

[@mercedeswalt6621]

Would that be Jordan Peterson?

[@subansupan8069]

And for dating Harry styles too

[@RocKsiJ]

that "journalist" had absolutely horrible experience with sebastian stan, who she asked "how did your costume smelled after the days of filming", he literally went "WHY do you even ask this question?", but she tilted it as "SO FUNNY!" and never labelled him as rude, while targeted anne hataway for not wanting to sign (wtf??) during the interview

[@Justauri-asdfghjkl]

You dont have to say allegedly anymore with Tory lanez ... he was convicted

[@cupcakecake7606]

another examole is Madison Beer being hated for just being beautiful and im not even kidding, she never had a big cancellation besides being cringe and awkward a few times, people hated her since she was TWELVE, because she got to work with justin bieber. Like its so weird !!

[@kidawesomeness123]

I always find it funny when creators with typically level headed calm personas get impassioned about a topic they detest.

[@lalakuma9]

I thought this kind of internalized misogyny and envy between women is something we've moved away from. It's sad that we've learned nothing from media's smear campaigns against Britney Spears, Lindsay Lohan, etc. in the 2000s.

[@rutvikrs]

This isn't internalised misogyny, this is the framework for competition in the absence of violence.

[@thedudewhoeatspianos]

I'm glad you said it because when I heard "they'll spread rumors about other women's sexual promiscuity" I was thinking "well, I like promiscuous women quite a bit so...." I mean I even married one.

[@riaray8336]

Its the "pick me" mentality! Always appreciate your videos Dr. ❤

[@Sluppie]

I hate* Amber Heard because every time I try to talk about women being abusive in relationships everyone assumes that I'm talking about Amber Heard, specifically, and not like the ~5 or so women I actually know who had to have CPS or the cops called on them because of how ridiculously violent they are. * I don't actually hate her. I have no opinion on her whatsoever. All I know about her personal life is the propaganda that's been brought up against her.

[@andersnielsen6044]

I am sorry - this is not something new.. It has been that way since forever.

[@JackThatcher-w3n]

Literally never knew depp said that...wow

[@callmebab3s]

happy u posted!

[@SilverSting]

Love the video! You're always so well spoken and through with your research. The whole bit of "women going after other women because of an ancestoral pull to find mates" made me wonder if it could be different depending on sexuality as well. Like I'm a lesbian and I'm friends with other lesbians so I wonder if the "women attacking other women for men" thing could also be applied here since lesbians by definition arent sexually attracted to men? Idk, its just got me curious and I wanted to pose the thought to you as well.

[@AnaPsychology]

That’s a really good question! I’m honestly not sure. I’d imagine sexual orientation doesn’t change the circuitry that resulted from millions of years of evolution, but it does take away one’s psychological incentive for taking part in that behavior. Anecdotally speaking, I don’t see this behavior as commonly from lesbians though.

[@Doxygurl]

That could be it but I also feel like being a queer woman in a world centered around male desire is very mentally stressful. I think there can still be a desire to impress or favor men, but instead of actual attraction it’s more like a “man crush” where they admire and put certain powerful men on a pedastal. I think it also happens because these people are in the arts and entertainment field and a lot of people get extremely attached to certain pieces of art and the people in it.

[@rampaginwalrus]

I live in Portland, Oregon, so I have a lot of lesbian friends. All of them are in happy relationships, but for some reason, a few of their girlfriends (who I'm more like second-hand friends with) get very jealous whenever we hang out or go dancing, even though we're always all together whenever we do. It could just be the normal desire to monopolize your partner's attention, or I could simply be misinterpreting based on a limited perspective, but the jealousy seems much more obvious towards me rather than towards other women or less attractive men. It's especially funny, in one case, because the jealous girlfriend who doesn't like me is bi, but my friend is 100% lesbian. The bi girlfriend seems to see me as a rival, and my friend needs to constantly remind her girlfriend that she's lesbian lmao

[@bbyjirl]

I can say for myself that in the past when I was in a lesbian relationship I acted out indirect aggression towards another woman that I felt threatened by. I genuinely thought she was not a good person to have around because I saw her displaying a lot of red flag behavior, but I also felt jealous of her in relation to my ex. I don’t know if I would’ve felt as strongly about her poor behavior if not for that, I probably would’ve trusted my ex to see the red flags for themself more if I didn’t also think she was attractive.

[@volatilebiscuit]

You're so cool for talking about this! Cheering you on Dr Ana!

[@bruisedheart0]

thank you for making this video we don’t talk about internalize misogyny enough

[@nhvkuy4675]

Glad you've mentioned that Kjirsti Flaa woman. What you said makes more sence to me now about why she's being such a pickme

[@reyne-soundtherapy469]

This indirect aggression is pointed at everyone, not just other women. I know that differentiation isn’t explicit but it’s important to keep in mind as, in most of the examples listed at the beginning of the video, other women use it on those celebrity women but those celebrities also use it against the heart-throb man they are connected to. I’m not saying that fault lies in only one party since it takes two to tango, I only mention this because ambiguity is the preferred weapon of women in general.

[@Coral_Forever]

So glad you spoke up on this issue.

[@conrad03]

this shifted my perspective a lot, thank you

[@Yuyuxi486]

We really need this conversation right now! Thank you!

[@melissachinnici]

Dr. Tracy Vailancourt! I watched a few interviews with her and her research on female competition and bullying. It's fascinating stuff.

[@breakfastime]

Yay new dr Ana 😇🎉

[@judasdubois]

As a layperson I swear evo psych stuff always starts with a "sure that sounds true" and then takes that small bit of like true and then goes to crazy town with it. Again as a layperson my only degree is in internet commentology.

[@newland_403]

like what

[@ruthie8872]

Thank you for this!

[@nanomia]

My first thought is these are badass successful beautiful women (though I admit I fell of blake livly smear campaign for a moment but I educated myself) fire video! Thank you for talking about this. Can you talk about men who claim they're feminists then get exposed as abusers? I don't want to discredit EVERY man who support feminism I just want to know the red flags of performative men so we can avoid them.

[@8._.EarthAngel._.8]

No, she didn’t. She absolutely didn’t. And you know very well that she became hated after telling a woman who cannot have children ‘congratulations on your bum.’ She became hated after insulting another girl. Stop spreading misinformation!

[@Surreal452]

Tbh, this seems pretty ironic... a woman telling us that if we criticize other women, even if they've behaved terribly, we're just jealous and want their man. 🤷

[@Orlando-qj7bh]

hi Anna I'm still seeing loads of those bot comments about that strange book you talked about in the other video. Just to let you know you can ban phrases from appearing in your comment section in youtube creator studio somewhere.

[@nara9793]

thank you so much

[@thefitnerd9796]

Solid video. The outro gives me such nostalgia for my baby raver days😭

[@Katy91988]

I understand your frustration however, I feel like you’re comparing cases where there is a clear hate campaign (ex. Hailey Bieber, Olivia Wilde) and those where there has been a hate campaign but there has been incorrect behaviour (ex, Megan markle, amber heard, Blake lively). I get your point that people go after women way more aggressively than men, who have made the same or worst mistakes and I completely agree that hating on celebrities that we’ve never even met is clearly just a projection of our own frustrations. I don’t agree with some of the behaviour of some of these women but I’d never choose to hate on them based on interactions that weren’t even with me.

[@tugger]

in the case of AH I watched the trial, that was enough

[@corbinortiz5010]

Love your videos have never been this early. Been waiting for you to talk on this topic! So excited to finish this and understand better

[@roseh1132]

Ana, your best post to date! Women acting as foot soldiers for the patricharchy (injrojection) is a plague.

[@lunaloynaz-lopez2318]

Truly

[@msbroomstick1]

I bet that in 10-20 years we are going to look at Amber heard like how we now see Britney Spears, as a victims.

[@amazinggrapes3045]

AFAIK Britney Spears hasn't admitted on recording to the things Heard has, so this would be regression

[@johnstanson3479]

Good work 🎯

[@momsspaghetti2246]

Thank you!!!

[@BrownJello]

I think most people are too prideful to admit their inner jealousies and anxieties and these things are usually projected. That said, as you suggested, it is easier to understand the evolutionary source/purpose of the feelings in order to make better, non-destructive use of them. In considering intense negative emotional states that we have available, most of these are unnecessary in this day and age because we are generally not at risk. There is relative abundance however some people compete like there is a clear scarcity which is not a good long-term strategy.

[@stackupwithsammy]

I’ve recently started watching more of your videos , easy to digest and understand! Appreciate your insight thank you 💛💛

[@sarasynfox]

I’ve been a victim of this my whole life. It’s why I have so few female friends. I’ve been told I don’t always need to be the center of attention when men are around when it’s just because I get super invested in talking about topics I love, like history or philosophy, which the men I have these conversations with also love, but the women who get upset don’t. I’ve been told to stop being fake for attention when I’m just being my natural, bubbly, optimistic, sometimes goofy self. I’m not even interested in these men in that way! I don’t want to date them! I’m happily off the market! Also, celebrities, I don’t get why people are so obsessed. The only reason I care about any of them is the whole conversation around men being abuse victims too.

[@ladylarry75]

My first thought about what all those women had in common was "they are celebrities, beautiful celebrities". Do i think all of them are great? no, there is 2 in the list i do not like, but i also equally don't like the men that are/were a part of their lives.

[@josue8322]

What's with the bots on the comments? I swear every app is filled with them. Btw great video!!!

[@bamatexas1225]

Great video!

[@kyledevane8782]

I have so much to learn.

[@jensanruby6739]

This explains a weird amount of my childhood and teen years. I thought I was ugly up until the end of highschool because women my age called me unfashionable and bad looking, and I struggled getting male attention (that one was probably autism). It was only after graduating that I realized I am in fact incredibly conventionally attractive for a woman (that was great for all of 1 year until I realized Im trans masc lmao). But yeah this explains so much

[@mercedeswalt6621]

That’s hysterical! I hope your living you’re trans masc life happy and healthy!

[@jensanruby6739]

@mercedeswalt6621 Thanks! Honestly figuring myself out has been alot of fun

[@EH23831]

I don’t think they’re doing it because it will be successful- it’s as you said: their insecurities and emotions are surging. Good advice at the end 😊

[@alexa-hk2xu]

great video. it's nice to hear about from someone who is as qualified by you because some women's negative behavior towards me has often left me confused and wondering whether there is something wrong with me. but in the back of my mind, suspicions would still loom about them being envious. i tend to get along pretty decently with men and they are less confusing, but obviously that comes with its own set of problems (like feeling seen as just an object, or feeling like a guy is being my friend just as a means to an end to getting into my pants)

[@coralBlue]

For each one of these women I never understood why people piled in on them and just avoided the topic

[@theratlovedu60]

Topic idea that resembles this subject that I find really interesting, that is women working with women. I've Heard so many women complain about each other and some saying that " they prefer working with men",and we have all heard that phrase on "Boys are easier to work with" coming for women bosses or managers, one of a study suggests that girls were raised to be equal with each other (trying to share and have the same size piece of cake for exemple than their friends), that in the workplace women would have a harder time having a manager or boss above them that was a woman because of the way they were raised. (But I looked at other studies that suggested more reason for women relationship in the workplace)

[@elizabethvaughan4046]

Thanks for talking about this!

[@phizzle_dizzle]

I think if you have to take the energy to ‘hate’ a celebrity, you’re doing life wrong. Ain’t nobody got time for that. But Hollywood has weird people in it and they’re likely all bad…except for Keanu Reeves. Love that guy. I’ve also been a fan of Leah Sidoux, they both live quiet lives and I enjoy their acting 😁

[@Sharah666]

I definitely used to be like this before I dove into undoing the patriarchal and misogynistic way my brain operated. Women are so resilient and multifaceted due to the never ending societal pressures to fit ever-changing body standards while also wearing several hats (day job, caregiver to children and partner, maid, sexually appealing to partner, etc). Because we never stopped adapting through all of recorded history, we have evolved and just need to be made aware of our true strengths and abilities instead of wasting our potential trying to bring other women down. Women should be more kind with self talk and views of their own bodies. When people comment on my body I always let them know I am very chronically ill and suffer severe debilitating chronic pain. I tell them I love my body because it has gotten me to this day, but I am not an aspiration for anyone but myself. Then I’m met with “but you’re too x to be sick” but ableism is a different story of another societal cycle of abuse that needs to be destroyed 😅

[@badasfunk]

How about they were in scandals because they did nasty things? This argument is all over the place and not all of the ladies you mentioned are victims of social dynamics, some deserved the hate.

[@UOUPv2]

I think this finally answers a question that I've been asking for the longest time. Specifically in regards to the Amber Heard situation. It was driving me crazy why everyone was calling Johnny Depp, Johnny. I remember asking on Reddit and a bunch of people responded basically saying because he's well liked but when I pointed out that other internet darlings such as Keanu Reeves and Mr Rogers are not normally referred to by their first names no one had an answer and I was even met with some vitriol for whatever reason lol. Make so much sense that a PR firm was doing whatever they could to endear the public to Johnny Depp.

[@amazinggrapes3045]

PR team? You didn't watch the trial itself?

[@UOUPv2]

@amazinggrapes3045 what does a trial have to do with calling someone by their first name?

[@nataliedegracia3232]

I have been in both the positions, I have envied women and envied + hated by women. When I envied women, I had some stuff to work on. First time, my bf used to make me feel insecure about my body and I used feel he'd easily like my rival, I rem my rival was asking for help, and I could have helped her but chose not to.. 😢 In my mind, I didn't feel bad about it. Second time was when this online youtuber had this great life and we had similar upbringing, but she was married and I was just single and I wasn't in a great position in life, so I couldn't date, I was trapped. So, I really envied this married woman online, but the thing was, I couldn't pinpoint why I hated her. Her life was going so well and I just hated her and I only saw her flaws. Now, it is happening to me.

[@wendymiller6339]

Great video! Could you do a similar video about jealousy of women you encounter irl? I find that I don’t particularly care for celebrities or instagram models but I do compare myself and get jealous over women in real life such as colleagues, female friends of my partners, etc.

[@tagtraumerin5077]

Thank you for sharing this

[@rachelmaddowswife8713]

I support or feel neutral about most of the women you mentioned at the beginning, but Meghan Markle is legitimately terrible (as well as Harry, I don't blame her for everything). Let's not go too far the other way and say that any criticism of any woman is automatically misogynistic or due to PR campaigns, sometimes women do bad things and we're allowed to talk about it.

[@Surreal452]

Agreed, a lot of people dislike her because she is legitimately awful to other women and needs to be called out.

[@Clovedom]

How is she terrible? Genuinely curious. What has she said/done that is so egregious?

[@AdrianFacchi]

There's this retired security guard on KZbin thst retales his security stories working on clubs in the UK. He says that the worst meanest cruelest things he's seen was woman on woman non violent aggression. I thought that was very surprising given that 99% of his stories are about violent drunken men beating each other.

[@dashiellsisson9263]

Hold on now, we metalheads have always hated Justin Bieber!

[@luminouskaleidoscope73]

LOVE this video. Thank you 😊

[@jayde_884]

Recently listened to the episode on this topic on Matt Berstein’s podcast a little bit fruity and I was honestly shocked. Highly recommend if anyone’s super interested in this video

[@Heartsnknives]

I loved this video, and it's so true and highlights that parasocial relationships are affecting people, I think it also applies to men and their hate train towards Justin and One direction and any well liked attractive male celebrity that was liked by younger audiences. And I wanna add this! Honestly, this whole rivalry between women isn't just with celebrities. But obviously, it's stronger towards them due to the fact that many women feel insecure and small in comparison to female celebrities for having things they want for themselves but can't, and especially their shots with well loved male celebrities. But I would say from my experience women do that unfortunately to even the women close to them when their insecurity kicks in hard, they act with a very passive aggressive action that hurts the woman that they feel threatened by. And I think it applies not just about men or mates. But to everything from attention to positive feedback, to whatever they have, looks to materialistic belongings, even certain traits and skills and hobbies or simple connections or social abilities the woman they envy has. Which is very disappointing. I really really thise whole competitiveness between women ends because it hasn't been lifted all that happened is now it's masked and not as obvious and to the face as it was in the past, which is very unfortunate and I am also glad you pointed out that this kind of tactic is very useless and never proven to have positive outcomes or any benefits! Which is great to discourage this behaviour further. I have also another piece to add here, i think this is ingrained to little girls by their mothers, that's how it all starts, just my thought on the matter. Do you agree?

[@LinkageAX]

13:07 -- you don't know the context of these messages, you can't say these weren't reactive without being there. Maybe something had just happened and he messaged his friend immediately.

[@kozachkovaanna4509]

Thank you for raising this topic, even though it's an unpopular opinion

[@heidithesausage]

I think unfortunately, there are more and more women experiencing abuse & violence themselves & that might be what unites us eventually. I do think women are becoming more supportive of each other. Just speaking up like these women have is protecting other women from what they experienced