“We’re broke…but I spend $350/mo on clothes”

Ramit Sethi of I Will Teach You To Be Rich talks to Elizabeth and Jonathan, 36 and 38, to continue unpacking their complicated personal backgrounds with money as they relate to current spending, investing, and saving habits. They’re stuck in a loop of debt and financial stress, but are they ready to make positive changes?
Watch Part 1 with Elizabeth and Jonathan: • “We have no savings…bu...
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[@ramitsethi]

00:00 Download the Conscious Spending Plan so you can use your money GUILT-FREE: iwt.com/csp-youtube Please remember: These are real people who had the courage to come on my podcast and ask for help. Would you be willing to come on this podcast and share every detail of your financial life? Feel free to leave comments based on what you think, but remember that we are here to help in a supportive way, not to demean and criticize.

[@klt9874]

One of the realest couples on this podcast. They are an accurate example of many folks in America. I want them to succeed.

[@Playingwithproxies]

This is the bottom 30% of Americas 😅 very unfortunate

[@TonyCox1351]

Agree, this is one of Ramit's best episodes. This couple does literally everything wrong, spending on clothes, on toys, on subscriptions they dont need. Yet at least a little bit of that is relatable to every viewer. I wish them the best but this will be a very tough cycle to break.

[@Joce123]

Lovable couple..very relatable

[@Joce123]

I think they need to drastically cut expenses before you expect. John to change a job that hes been asked for 12 years because I don't know where you think that the economy is so wonderful in Minnesota thousands of people keep getting laid off every year..3M.the meat processing plant closed , the plastic factory in Owatonna..now Winona..if I were Jihn I would might keep my job .Drastically cut expenses..Under the Median..Hope has menus to feed a family of 4 on $200!..Elizabeth and Jonathan only have a family of 3.

[@Joce123]

I would stop investing at all until you have your debt reduced...No honeymoon for 12 years..who cares ?Very immature.

[@charliegolding9439]

Oh heck yes, coffee and IWTYTBR Before I clock in for the day. Ramit, in 2018 I read your book, and I had about 215K in student loans (pharmacist). in 2023 I finished paying them off. I owe you, bro, thanks for being the wind in my sails to Kickstart that! I worked every overtime shift offered for YEARS and job hopped twice. Now I'm early 30s and have 200K net worth.

[@tarat26]

Much respect and huge congrats.

[@janebaker4912]

Nice!!

[@creativejourneynow641]

Thank you for bringing in couples who aren’t making $100K each. This is more relatable to so many of us and have more sympathy for than those making over $100K each. Please bring more lower income guests.

[@BrandonBames]

I’m sure he would love to, but remember he’s also limited to the guests that volunteer. He’s not just snatching people out of the ether, they actually have to want to come on here, and how many low income couples actually want their finances broadcast to thousands of people? Not being a jerk, just bringing a different perspective. I agree, these episodes are much more relatable

[@Moneybug411]

@@BrandonBames on top of that: A lot of low income people rather complain instead of fixing problems. Sometimes (of course not always) there is a reason why some people are successful and others are not.

[@AddyOkay]

That's a bit rude isn't it? A lot of people still make over 100k each. Many couples exist with good jobs

[@creativejourneynow641]

@@AddyOkay what??? All I meant is that he mostly have high income earners. So I was genuinely happy that he has guests that are in lower income bracket. So you’re the one rude for assuming whatever you were assuming.

[@debbielockhart7762]

​@@AddyOkayNothing rude abput it.i agree with them. It is boring listening to people who make $400k bitch.

[@kingsgold]

This couple is the epitome of America right now. This episode NEEDs to be shown to as many people as possible that wherever they are right now, there is a way to be debt free.

[@rayeof_light]

THIS! I thought the same thing the entire time I was watching.

[@springday7013]

Agreed. I can relate so much with this couple.

[@lindatrey1301]

Great content! as the world crisis progresses the smartest thing people do lately is building a strong investment that isn’t controlled by the government. Like digital currencies.

[@CarlosLocke]

I respect you for this, tbh anyone who’s not investing,producing nor has an establishment will only do the bare minimum or just survive to be financially free one must do any of the following.

[@annelove3626]

That’s really interesting! I’ve been thinking about investing in digital currencies lately but wondering how to do it, do anyone have any thought on that?

[@chemicalhalf]

Elizabeth, if you see this, you don't deserve a bad life. No person asks to be born. That means by default, no person deserves bad things to happen to them, or a "bad life".

[@suzanneemerson2625]

Are you saying that no one has any responsibility for what happens in their life? How immature.

[@eyeroll8261]

I'd like to see more couples like this. They are more real to me.

[@debbielockhart7762]

True

[@M_SC]

If this is your society, love them but don’t emulate them financially

[@DeziDoesIt]

I literally screamed in my car when Ramit said “how safe is she”

[@agusal4487]

Yes. Ramit was incredibly patient with them. Episode was so frustrating and the follow ups were just fluff. I was sorry to hear that.

[@awb19892]

@@agusal4487 follow-ups are always fluff.

[@Capycorg]

​@@agusal4487 I didn't think he was very patient with Elizabeth. There have been way more frustrating guests than she, and I thought he got pretty impatient with her.

[@suzanneemerson2625]

@@CapycorgShe desperately needs someone to shake her up. She is overly indulgent with herself. You can tell that just by looking at her.

[@debbielockhart7762]

​@@suzanneemerson2625Why? Because she's overweight? Pretty judgemental.

[@vedamoyer7927]

Their $500 mortgage starter home they keep looking down on is a financially savvy persons dream! Make more money, pay off debt, stash cash. Make the home look cute & enjoy actually living life!

[@kingdele01]

I think they will likely upgrade to a bigger house as soon as they start making more money, and then they'll be right back where they started (IN MAJOR DEBT).

[@kateatkinsonkaplan8663]

Elizabeth, please take that final course and complete your degree. That will increase your sense of pride and self worth.

[@RadCenter]

Many companies will pay for classes if they will help an employee advance her career.

[@Flying_condor]

“Why you created a life where you have to do all this”? is the most precise and brilliant question

[@cscsman]

Yep, it was incredible to see how that made them work for a deeper insight. That one question was a huge gift to their lives.

[@Bertuzz84]

@@cscsman Yep, this couple is clearly living on autopilot and needs to be snapped out of that and make a plan.

[@SuzanneU]

I grew up in an insecure household. There was money, then Mom was selling our clothes to pay the electricity bill...then she went into debt to buy us clothes...Dad was an alcoholic who'd drink out a hefty chunk of his paycheck as soon as he got it. I understand where they're coming from in terms of fear. What I'm seeing, especially in Elizabeth , is a bunch to conflicting things: She takes pride in "making it work", she wants them to LOOK rich to other people; she wants her daughter to live in abundance (illusory); and she sabotages their real chances because deep down she believes that they belong down in the depths and she's just staving it off. Jonathan looks beaten down by his life and his wife. He doesn't believe that he has agency and could share authority and responsibility with Elizabeth so he throws up his hands and keeps his head down. He's afraid to take any risks at all. Again, I understand Jonathan's mindset because I was there for so long: accepting whatever I was offered even when I knew in my heart that I was being exploited, because I didn't think or believe that I was worth anything at all. I'm glad this couple has engaged with Ramit, and hope that they can make the paradigm shift.

[@lisajane4330]

Can really relate. Lived week to week growing up, alcohol seemed to come first, we just had enough food but it was stressful to know if we even had school lunch sometimes. And then my Dad would even sell his musical instruments to pay bills sometimes, was heartbreaking to watch.

[@jjdub35]

Enjoyed this one. Thanks for coming on. I think this may be one of the best examples of the "median" American family (minus one kid). Yes, may need to try to increase income. However need to learn to live on what you make regardless. There are a lot of families that will never earn more than 90k per year.

[@IgWannA2]

It's good to see a median-earning couple on here. Almost everyone else has been top 10%. It's the median and low earners who need the most help.

[@Playingwithproxies]

These people are the bottom 10% 😅 it’s swinging too far imo

[@emilywimmer8320]

@@Playingwithproxiesthey're actually above the median household income in the us. Why be so rude?

[@user-hf9zp5rz4i]

As you earn more income you can also fall prey to financial pitfalls. A common myth held by most is “once I earn six figures I won’t have any problems” $100,000k may solve some immediate fires but once you max our your 401k, Roth, HSA there’s not as much money left as you think after Fixed Expenses and contributions to regular savings. I use to think this way as a low earner and that changed once I made mid six figures. You can’t just spend with reckless abandon, which is what most people believe and why they worship the word “six-figures”

[@DuskySphinx]

​@@user-hf9zp5rz4imaxing out the 401k, IRA, HSA is a huge factor in 'not having problems' though. It doesn't eliminate all problems, but it's also not as scarce as that. My wife and I don't really want for anything with a 200K combined income, we bought a condo, new car and still are now maxing out for the first time bc we realized we had more cash on hand than we wanted. Money makes a lot of things easier.

[@5trace]

@@user-hf9zp5rz4i This exactly we have hit over 200 000 last few years Hubby 206 plus my pay ... but no pensions and very high taxes we also raised 3 boys. Saving as much as we can for retirement we helped with university houses in Ontario you are looking at a dump for million. No we are not wealthy. We have everything we need but will struggle to get enough away for retirement. We have to watch what we spend. People think 200 000 240 is alot but it is not depending on where you live.

[@davidallen7424]

This is by far the best episode of this podcast. While I've enjoyed them all, I've been waiting for a couple that exemplifies the struggle of working class, middle America. I know so many versions of this couple. Amazing to see them get some hope.

[@T8rB]

She’s a shopping addict and he’s exhausted. “I need him to set my boundaries for me” she acts like she’s making heavy decisions but her “decisions” are all short sighted shopping sprees they cannot afford.

[@kingdele01]

You are correct! And I notice that she blamed everything on external factors (religious upbringing, her family's poverty, not feeling good about herself, etc...) more than her lack of impulse control.

[@patty109109]

@@kingdele01it’s blatantly clear she isn’t a person who has discipline, or the ability to apply positive behavior to herself over a long period of time. She is enslaved to impulses. Money, weight, these are all symptoms.

[@JulieCWilson]

This episode is fantastic. Just when I think the episodes can’t get any better they do. Thank you Elizabeth & John for being vulnerable and teaching all of us listeners so much.

[@davidpeluso8582]

I don't get all these folks having cell service on iPads and apple watches....wifi is everywhere! Apple watches can connect through your phone...especially when they are struggling with bills....

[@woboznz]

Great couple, tough history, motivated to heal. i think they may be the most honest so far - with themselves. Thats got to be a good thing

[@davidmasaka6547]

Wishing this couple the best. It sometimes takes another person not in the situation to help you see things clearly

[@Jane5720]

Too many promotions 😅😅😅😅 back to back, come on!

[@ryanforristall8642]

One of the best and most relatable episodes to date. I wish this couple well on their journey

[@Thejoyofcats]

I'd like to hear their 6-month or 1-year follow-up.

[@Capycorg]

Id LOVE to see those for a lot of the couples! It would be so inspiring.

[@Trudloops]

Agreed

[@ST-wo3uw]

Touch grass. Go outside for a walk, play catch with your kid, go to a neighborhood tennis or basketball court as a family. As a society, we've gotten so far away from this concept, which is not only free but is good for mental and physical health and wellbeing as well.

[@TheDoggmom]

So true! It is a fun skill to learn. Finding and appreciating the free things in life. My guess is their house is crammed full of cheap junk. Showing their daughter how to enjoy life without spending craploads of money is so much more important than a big dumb horse that she will outgrow in 12 minths.

[@TonyCox1351]

I thought the same thing while listening to this episode. Ramit's show is about so much more than spending. This couple lives a very unhealthy lifestyle - the constant eating out, fridge packed with food, both parents severely overweight, wasting money on clothes for fleeting dopamine hits...they worry about their daughter being safe but are teaching her every wrong lesson and setting her up for failure.

[@Britt4880]

Yesss! I don’t have a family yet but am shifting to this mindset. Free is fun. The outdoors are right there, waiting for us. You can even have grand adventures going on a hike or to the beach, with packed sandwiches and drinks.

[@Britt4880]

@@TonyCox1351yeah, this is controversial but I find it unfortunate that it’s considered taboo or rude to bring up someone’s clear issue with overeating. It allows these issues to go on because everyone’s afraid to point it out. The person can stay in denial. This is a finance podcast so I suppose it’s not an appropriate place to talk about it (beyond spending money on food) but it’s probably indicative of the root of her issues.

[@TheDoggmom]

Oh please, there is no reason for Ramit to go there. This couple is well aware of their weight. I would call her out on her “I always put myself last” narrative, tho because I think it is not honest. Her buying all those little things at Target and thru those apps gives her dopamine hits each time. That is what is ruining her family’s finances. I bet the husband would settle for buying less stuff.

[@Annie-zs2bt]

Please do more episode like this , not the high earn people . Love you Ramit ❤

[@relaunchinglife]

Here's the thing - it's really great that she's so aware of her upbringing and how it's affected their decisions now. But it looks like she's using these things as an excuse not to change

[@mo1482]

Yes. Being aware and healing are two different things. Time to put in the work!

[@kingdele01]

Many of those childhood things seem like excuses to me. I experienced a very similar situation, except for obesity, and I didn't become a shopaholic.

[@Tomakri15]

Been waiting for another episode. It’s 3 am where I’m at and can’t wait to listen to part 2. Can say I’m addicted to IWT

[@gKaasboer]

Right here together with the othe Ramit junkies haha

[@lukaszangowski3203]

Me too,brother, me too :D

[@princessbablaschmabladingd7451]

I know so many couples/families in financial situations just like this one. They are leaking money on thoughtless purchases when they actually have the means to tackle their debt! I wish them luck.

[@water6back9lash]

An insightful discussion 😢 Wish them all the best

[@Gioli565]

This couple is lovely and insightful and are probably a very accurate representation of most Americans. Wishing them the best.

[@TheDoggmom]

They are brave to come here. Good luck you guys! So much of America suffers from this kind of overspending.

[@reneejill4033]

I’m so learning from Ramit. Man, you have no clue how much I’m getting better because of your show.thank you!

[@Edgarunreal-FinanzasPersonales]

This couple reflect the struggles and habits of the most families in USA. Another fact, The median income in USA is $42,000 per capita, and household income (usually a couple incomes) is $75,000. I hope Ramits brings more couples like this, most people will be relatable and similar situations.

[@danielromerosol4158]

OMG This one was painful, but this couple is a great example. I'm sure there are millions of people just like them. Hope they manage to change

[@JenniferBrooks-eq3rn]

One thing I do know, something I have experienced firsthand, is that you can waste money on things at any income level. I live right next door to a neighborhood of very wealthy families. My kids go over there for play dates and birthday parties and we socialize there all the time. We have many friends there. Many friends who are house poor, who live in mansions with very little furniture, friends who are side hustling from their McMansions. They’ve told me that if they sold their house and left the neighborhood that they couldn’t afford to come back and buy a home in that neighborhood again. Spending beyond your means is the norm in my experience. Most people don’t know when or how to quit. I’m a lot like Elizabeth in that I get turned off by things that are popular. I don’t like the group, whatever it may be, telling me what to do or think or like. I tend to go the other direction out of instinct, not spite. I recognize that I do this and it’s just a part of who I am. It can alienate me from people sometimes, but sometimes it helps. With how I approach spending money, it can be useful. I see the constant bombardment to follow what everyone is doing with their money and it makes me really contemplate what I want to do with mine. You can take your rebellion and use it to your advantage this way. Say I don’t have to be like everyone else, I can sit back, learn from other’s mistakes, and get to the heart of what I want out of life while I’m still here to enjoy it. That’s when you realize that you don’t want to waste time being burdened by your possessions and your debts.

[@yajairacolin8865]

I understand a hard past, but you can’t blame everything on that. You use it as motivation to DO BETTER.

[@swithheld9905]

i feel really bad for their daughter. there are SO many excuses! she deserves so much better.

[@shrtblondie1]

One thing that works for me- only shop at stores where drive up is available. This helps me stick to my list and my budget. When I walk in a store... it is not good for my budget. I use this for groceries and target runs..also clothes. Buying online means you only see what you look for.

[@mo1482]

Yep. This is why I do grocery delivery. It's $59/year but I save SOOOO much more than that by just not going inside.

[@thetuningroom]

Also, when you say you’re ‘looking’ to get rid of unnecessary expenses, that typically means you haven’t done it. Many of the things you guys listed could all be done in a matter of an hour. Just sit for a moment and just do it. We don’t buy movies, we have only 1 show/movie subscription, and if we wanted another, we’d cancel that one to get another. We’re even thinking that is taking too much of our time, wasting watching movies…forget who said it, but someone said, you’re not only paying those subscription fees, it’s costing you thousands per month by taking you away from doing productive and great things with that time.

[@jonathanskinner6310]

in theory yes, but sometimes a movie is just what you need in the evening. You can't be productive and hustling all the time.

[@tessjune88]

Frustrating that John takes SUCH a backseat the whole time. Dude step up. Mad respect for how calm Ramit stays. Idk how you do it when people don’t fight for themselves.

[@GillGraff]

I feel for them. I want them to win at life! I’m cheering for them. They seem like great people.

[@debasmitabasu_456]

The powerful learnings from the scenario of being broke but spending $350/month on clothes highlight the importance of prioritizing needs over wants and practicing financial discipline. It underscores the significance of budgeting and being mindful of spending habits to achieve financial stability. Additionally, it emphasizes the need for self-awareness and understanding one's values and priorities to make more informed decisions about spending. Ultimately, it teaches the valuable lesson that financial health and responsible spending are essential for long-term financial well-being and achieving personal goals.

[@chukuemekaoje1015]

Debt consolation companies are awful. They charge you something you could do for free! You can stop paying your CC and negotiate with your creditors. Not saying you should, but that it's something that is free to do instead of paying a company to do it.

[@Playingwithproxies]

Yep cost much more to pay them to do it.

[@user-hf9zp5rz4i]

Some of them yes. There are ones that don’t require you to stop payment on your credit cards. The good ones cut you a check or ACH deposit in full in your account. You then log into each credit card and click pay in FULL. No middle man negotiating credit card amounts nonsense. Then you pay for debt consolidation loan back with a fixed monthly payment at a much lower APR. Let’s say it’s 9% at $30k. The interest will be thousands and thousands lower than your 15 credit cards charging you 28% interest. The interest is even lower if you pick up a second job or a better main job and aggressively make extra payments. Your cards all stay in positive standing and your credit score improves rapidly. This is a trap for 85% of people since they will just double their debt by just spending on the cards again.

[@Bamapride1985]

Yup made that mistake in my early 20s that ended up becoming a bankruptcy to get a fresh start of the mess it ended up costing. They basically claimed to me to pay a set monthly payment lot less than the monthly payment and then once they got their fees from first 6 months all to them.... Then they had an offer for basically 20% off the balance if paid a large payment (the balance was basically removing all the interest and late fees that were charged bc stopped payments). Do not go with these companies as they destroy your credit and do nothing for you besides being the middle man in communication

[@angelamueller8167]

I relate to this couple so much. For me, my financial journey has been about learning how to soothe and nurture my inner child when there’s fear of deprivation that was so often felt in childhood (soothing and nurturing in ways that don’t involve buying things) - that way my inner rebel/teenager doesn’t feel like she needs to step in either to act out with spending. I’m also a therapist so I do this work with my clients! Brilliant session. Thank you to the couple for being willing to share their story and thank you to Ramit for the work you do! ❤

[@nicolahunt8145]

Enjoyed this episode. I did feel like the man has left all responsibility to his wife and then was able to conveniently blame her for all that’s gone wrong. Anyway insightful as always and I wish them all the best for the future. It’s not too late!

[@spf_500]

Yep

[@jonathanskinner6310]

true - he seemed very passive, but she also admitted she didn't listen to his opinion so it seems like they were both talking passed each other

[@klick0858]

I completely disagree, it seems more like whenever he disagrees she ignores him. He just gave up trying

[@zdude1793]

Rooting for this family! They can turn things around i know it.

[@earlyretirement1459]

This one is sad, because with their income and those low housing costs, they really could have set themselves up to be in a pretty good position by now.

[@kingdele01]

Unfortunately, this is emblematic of most families in our country these days. - One party just keeps spending on nonsense - And the other party lacks the desire, will or ability to rein them in.

[@GlamGoddes101]

That’s what I’m thinking!

[@jennywalker9572]

What a brave couple! I cannot thank them enough for being so open and sharing with us about their road. I was able to connect with a lot of what they said, and for the first time in a long time, it was a story that offered me a lot of lessons as their wages were 'normal' for my area.

[@kirstendbent]

Really great episode! This couple clearly loves one another and seems willing to do the work. I wish you all the best in your journey.

[@Caliabra]

This is an emergency. I hope they can turn it around. Ramit is right - mental health is huge here

[@PatriciaLopez-xb3em]

Is so scary to see how much parents are willing to spend to keep their children entertained vs. actually parenting, nurturing, playing, and loving their children.

[@johnlu9809]

Maybe on the reply back response include a note to include specifics that they are doing. It's happening on all the responses. Maybe there is an expectation gap your team needs to correct.

[@yandirn2478]

Their story is so relatable! I’m glad they chose to come here and share.

[@Smokychedda64590]

Great episode as always! I really wish the follow ups were better though. I really want to know what changes these couples are going to make! Maybe ask more specific follow up questions about what their next steps will be?

[@drrush3421]

This is a girl that was so badly controlled by her family of origin that self-control feels like a return to old trauma. Wishing her all the best.

[@kingdele01]

Bull 💩💩💩. Do you think that Ramit was not controlled by his immigrant parents? Why didn't he use that as an excuse to lack impulse control? She just brought that in, so that she could play the victim.

[@joemike75]

What is shocking to me is how many people in the comments find this relatable. It is quite surprising that so many Americans find themselves in a similar situation. Hopefully stories like this start to change the narrative.

[@RB-gq2zy]

I would look at reducing food cost which represents 18% of their net, clothing which represents 7% and subscriptions. They have opportunities to make changes and hopefully they will hold themselves to it not only for themselves but for their young daughter who is watching their words and actions.

[@Hellokitty7163]

This was probably one of the best episodes ever. This couple is so authentic with real struggles. So enlightening how upbringing affect one ´ s relationship to money. Thank you to you two and I really hope they can grow out and away of this.

[@kayingthao5072]

Great content, so helpful Remit.

[@melissahoneybee1417]

They are very brave for coming on your show and letting it all hang out. I wish them the best.

[@nomaam5891]

How do they spend $900 a month on groceries and still eat out? I hope they develop the discipline they need because it seems like they can get it together once they tighten up on the unnecessary spending.

[@maxinoume]

And they receive free meat from the grandparents' farm.

[@Caliabra]

This is really excessive my husband and I (no kids) spend about $500 a month and we do some bougie things like buy nice cheeses and herbs

[@nomaam5891]

@@Caliabra Extremely excessive especially since they get meat for free. I truly hope this time with Ramit turned a switch on for them to buckle down and be smarter with their money. Keep the $500/mo mortgage and get better jobs with that discipline, they can absolutely get it together.

[@Erin-rg3dw]

My guess is first off that a lot of the food goes bad and then gets thrown out. If they're packing the fridge after every trip and not planning meals well, there's going to be a fair amount that goes bad. Also, with a lot of impulsive decisions, they may be buying junk food or fantasy food (i.e. food you should eat but never do. Like salad mix)

[@tessy28]

Me and my guy spend about £600 a month on food and still get some quality ingredients so I wonder what they are buying.

[@Dan16673]

Lots of deep issues w food here

[@miikellemitchell]

Yeah surprised it didn't come up. The relationship with food impacts so many of the beliefs/ behaviors discussed.

[@spf_500]

I swear I thought their combined income would be higher based on how they talk. I'm an overbuyer too. I also came from a family that there was either food or NO food and I definitely over buy. Same with personal items. Going to school with no deoderant in the house as a teenager was brutal. Kids were not nice back then either lol

[@Playingwithproxies]

Really I thought they would have been making less 😅

[@mkayzm]

I got here as fast as i could 🏃‍♂️

[@jayeshjha8362]

same bro

[@jillstark6381]

Me too! 5am in Texas lol! Had to watch part 2. Ramit Junkie

[@juliagerlyuk]

😂😂

[@heatherbeth1818]

Same hahahaha I love this show

[@TonyCox1351]

Me sprinting to my phone on Tuesday mornings

[@lancethomas2331]

These guys are very real. I've struggled this way. Sometimes you know it's bad but you don't know how to get out of it.

[@thewriteplaceforme6874]

I hope John sees this comment. It's tough to change a job you've enjoyed for years, and not every job can increase your salary significantly. But you can find small wins and non-$ wins, if you want to stay at that job. For example, find out how much the average salary is for your area and for your job. Are you over or under? If under, have a conversation with your boss about it. If you worked for the same salary, would they let you work fewer hours to allow you time for a side hustle or a second part-time job? Or save money on child care or other things by using your time for that instead of your salary. If your job won't work with you on this then it's an unsaid message that they don't value you, and you can move on without any hard feelings about it. (Yes, I know Ramit says big wins, but a few small wins will build confidence to get to big wins.)

[@lauriesherman1]

Thoughtful comment - great feedback! Hope he sees it!

[@El-wf2zx]

From the follow up, it sounds like John has absolutely no motivation to or interest in pursuing a better paying job. With that in mind, the entire load of keeping their finances above water is still on Elizabeth.

[@user-hf9zp5rz4i]

A victim of “do what you love and you’ll never work a day in your life” Not great if the job you love doesn’t pay well. Working until you die. 😰

[@youtubepadre]

I didn’t need further evidence for it, but Ramit is just a damn good person.

[@suburban_utopia]

I hate these women who always say "I put myself last" when they don't. My mother was always that way. And Dad would always second her gaslighting. In truth, Dad was first, Mom was a close second, and f**k what any of us kids needed.

[@dawnkoplitz1825]

Please have a company caption your videos. Auto captions are impossible to understand!

[@thetuningroom]

We had this problem too. Might be good to maybe put a background on your phone with a message with something like ‘Do you need this?’ Or maybe even something very deep that you guys are working toward, like a new home. Just so whenever your on your phone or at the store, you will immediately see that message before you buy something.

[@thetuningroom]

After a while it become a norm, but at the beginning it doesn’t hurt to have hard reminders on what you guys are working toward.

[@maureenlobenstein5900]

Wow, this episode blew me away. I truly wish this couple the best, I think when they rewatch it, it will open their eyes to behaviors and patterns they choose to ignore, I hope this helps them. I hope this helps others in the same boat

[@af-rv7le]

Both can get a different job to make more money. I didn't like hearing her say that she couldn't find a better paying job. That is ridiculous. She needs to look in all fields not just the ones she feels comfortable in. Also, get rid of their stuff. I bet they can get a few hundred dollars just selling all the clothes and the rest of their stuff and invest that . Why is she the only one going to therapy. It seems like both should go so they can be on the same page.

[@jonathanskinner6310]

depends where they are - They're in Indiana and it didn't sound like Indianapolis - there are a lot of places where what they're on is pretty normal

[@Capycorg]

When did you hear that? She said she's up for a promotion in two months.

[@susan-el6mc]

In the follow-up the husband skirted the issue that he needs to make more money. This couple will stay in the same cycle.

[@kingdele01]

There is no amount of money that they could make that wouldn't get spent, if she continues to lack impulse control.

[@kendraprivratsky5182]

They could make 10x what they make now and it wouldn't matter because she would spend everything because she is out of control. Definitely a spending problem, not an income problem here.

[@1loveutube]

Keep contact with kids is important, but There’s cheaper phones service

[@Playingwithproxies]

@@EmpressoftheLibraryyep I wonder what the chances are that they don’t leave her with grandparents who have phones 😅

[@DuskySphinx]

Or grandparents who have wifi...

[@Capycorg]

This is a big one... The iPad should connect to Wi-Fi just fine, right?

[@vh2712]

Everything is mindset. Without a strong mindset to change then no coaching will ever change anything.

[@zuriendrinkscoffee]

I feel you, Elizabeth.... I feel you! This episode has been sobering and necessary, and you (we) can do this. Go girl! And I also appreciate John's supportive attitude so, so much.

[@witwct3]

She needs to give up the credit cards

[@ntimn8r]

Fantastic episode(s)!! I feel like their issues are very average for most lower middle-class families. The advice given could be directly applied to thousands of similar families, if they took the time to watch this video. Halfway through the episode, I had to pause and go pick up a huge order of chips and salsa though.

[@ghostpipe888]

Hey, you can do this Elizabeth and Jonathan. For me, this video was more representative of the majority of ppls financial situations where I live... not that the other videos aren't also informative (they totally are), but Elizabeth reminded me of so many women I know and even though I don't know Elizabeth what so ever... I am proud that she was able to be super reflective of her current situation like so many others and I hope she is able to truly see that she is not powerless to make change (scary change/ big change) and is deserving of a beautiful and a debt free life. All the best to you both and I really hope we get to hear from you both again.

[@Capycorg]

I agree, she really understands what is behind her issues. I hope she takes the steps to get past them!

[@jeantesc812]

I like these two. Wish them all the best.

[@wurdnurd1]

Lol, choosing Bed Bath & Beyond as the example feels mighty ironic. Even BB&B can't afford BB&B...

[@TheSharmam]

i really feel for this couple, they def represent the majority. And i do wonder if this is a trend ? brought upon by social media? my husband and I live a bit quiet and isolated life and we have tried to socialize but we just cannot relate to people who are in tons of debt cause they are living the society's scripts. we rent (In Toronto area ) although we both make 6 figures. We just dont want to pay bank tons of interest and want freedom to invest and save and get our kids to experience life. Its so difficult to have your own vision when constantly surrounded by social media, neighbours and friends who are following the rat race. Good luck to this couple. Live YOUR life, not theirs! :)

[@user-hf9zp5rz4i]

The invisible scripts started for people long before social media. Social media exacerbates the problem with doomer economy propaganda, eat the rich, and Klarna.

[@michellegreen1072]

We’ve been on social media for over 20 years. We are debt free and practice mindful spending. It’s personal responsibility.

[@Erin-rg3dw]

It's a YOLO sort of mentality I've seen with a lot friends whose families were lower-ish income and weren't great with money. Very "here today, gone tomorrow" mindset where bills wouldn't get paid because someone wanted new clothes. One that sticks out was from high school (15 years ago), so though we had MySpace, social media wasn't nearly as prevalent.

[@Gioli565]

Their mortgage is so low I don’t see why they can’t make it. 🤔

[@user-hf9zp5rz4i]

They are spending 100% of their income

[@Lola.sweets]

Love love the new place. Sit with all the stuff for a few months and then do another declutter.

[@GuestwithKhan]

Hi Ramit, My KZbin Algo’s input your most recent video’s on the top of my feed during my morning routine. I enjoy listening to these video’s as they are personal and educational. Wish you would release new ones faster. Best, Khan

[@pdpgkeeper]

That was so real and vulnerable. Thank you. I think this will benefit many.

[@i-g77]

One of the best episodes Ramit has done so far! As many have already commented, it's good to see a couple that represents the majority in the US. I felt so bad for both, that they truly seem good people who just needed someone to give them sound advice and really listen to them to figure out the deep root cause of their financial issues. Well, done! I wish them all the best in their new journey! Maybe having a follow up with them in a year would also be a great motivation for them... hint hint. 😉

[@RealityCheck1993]

The update makes me nervous. Most of the unnecessary spending were subscription and sporadic purchases identified at the time of filming. You simply stop spending on them or you continue spending. What was there to "look into"?

[@paulapinel]

Ramit, this is the first channel on YT I see showing the sponsor ads inside the video editing. I'm pretty sure this is a smarter financial choice for you and also less annoying for your audience 👏 as a marketer I'm amazed

[@teen7034]

Great episode. I’m a new subscriber & I’ve been binge watching lots of videos. Thank you for showcasing couples of diverse backgrounds & varying income levels. They’re all relatable & I’ve learned so much. Keep up the great work 🎉👏🏽.

[@zo_471]

glad to see you be a bit more firm

[@jasminl8742]

Wow you could see Ramit’s true empathy 44:51 😢

[@TrizazirT]

They are so brave for being so honest on the podcast. I feel for their situation but I know they can do it! I hope they both take this to heart and make the necessary changes and make a plan and stick to it, together, including their daughter in the process to teach her the life skills she needs to not get into the same situation as an adult.

[@jaynebirkholz1596]

I really identify with John. Having a job you LOVE and working with people you genuinely like is very important to a persons well being, even if it isn't the highest paying one. Going out and getting a new job that makes you unhappy, with co-workers you don't enjoy, can have far reaching effects on many parts of life.

[@El-wf2zx]

At the expense of his family’s financial future?

[@nomaam5891]

I get what you’re saying but if one can’t afford their lifestyle, they need to make a change. Who’s to say the next job won’t give them the same benefits while paying them more? Sometimes we need to get out of our comfort zone in order to progress in the direction we NEED to go.

[@kj1443]

The new job might be amazing with amazing colleagues and wonderful opportunities.Often taking a risk and stepping out of our comfort zones is where our personal growth happens.

[@karenkehler7331]

This session was excellent! As tough as it was for the couple to realize their own issues -their 'issue' of low self-esteem and lack of 'agency' was very clearly exposed - and that is why I watch your sessions! I love how you bring childhood into the solutions and shift away from blame. It's a very common problem in marriages that only 'digging' can get to. I hope other couples watched and benefitted!!

[@can.I.dothis]

Wow their honest communication at 4:00 ish. They seem so united and caring. Being honest and also praising the other one. Congrats on that honest talk, seriously. Couple goals (Besides the money :P But it's only a matter of time before they overcome it!)

[@can.I.dothis]

When they practice using different words, it's very interesting to observe E having all or nothing cognitions, going from either denial (I'll make it work) to I'll stop spending. It explains the restriction and then later splurge that's been happening. Fostering an 'in-between' mindset with smaller steps would be extremely helpful. Also, when she comments on her income, you can hear her have a negative stance, that may stand from long engrained depressive affects and low self-esteem. I think these cognitions play a big role in maintaing the cycle that they got sucked into/created.

[@rootedways]

Omg it’s out! I’ve been waiting for this one!

[@cass2.1]

Self sabotage is a tough one. I think I self sabotage because I am afraid of failing when I actually put in the real effort. So, I self sabotage or make excuses. If it's up to me then I can change the "rules" whenever I want.

[@kayjay7865]

I luv this couple. They are the epitome of Americans in their emotions their and spending. I really want them to succeed

[@fayzane]

This is good! What she wants is an "accountabili-buddy" with the 29:14 finances.

[@anjalianthony1656]

This couple have zero self-control. It is immature teenage behaviour of “I want everything now” - especially with the clothes shopping, and constant luxury gifts for their daughter. There is lack of urgency in building some savings or safety net. Unfortunately I feel like Ramit was too kind here - the only place where he really called out their behaviour was when he said “how safe is your daughter?” I wish them luck but they really need to take a long hard look at themselves

[@lifeisbeautiful7452]

They are living vicariously through their child and trying to heal their childhood trauma by giving their kid the lifestyle they wanted as a child. Unfortunately this will simply lead to her never learning self control or the meaning on no, thus continuing a terrible cycle of bad decision making and a lack of impulse control.

[@kelseyboehme2482]

I think Ramit got it right. If he said "you need to save NOW and stop acting so immature" the two of them likely would have shut down. Look at all the talk around shame for their choices. People who feel ashamed won't hear tough love, they will hear validation that they "suck" and "don't deserve to change." Instead, he tried to build connection to the things they actually value over shaming them further for the choices they already know are wrong.

[@Erin-rg3dw]

I think he used their daughter to make the point because she's the most important thing to them. She's what makes them tick

[@janebaker4912]

"if you tell me what to do ill do the opposite" "i want you to tell me what to do"