we read a little life....again

not an intelligent thought to be found between the two of us, but plenty of tears
*content warnings are at the bottom of the description
find me!
/ paperbackdreams
email: paperbackdreams13(at)gmail(dot)com
find laur!
/ lauren
laurhudson_...
music!
dismantle [peter sandberg]
ballade [luke faulkner]
un sospiro [liszt]
primavera [ludovico einaudi]
experience [ludovico einaudi]
*self harm, suicidal ideation, attempted suicide, disordered eating, physical abuse of a minor, domestic abuse, abuse of character with a disability, loss of a child, drug abuse/addiction, sexual assault/rape, pedophilia, ptsd, forced prostitution of a minor

[@annandaandrade3017]

I mean... What's better than seeing two sisters sobbing on the floor reading a book?

[@starshocker]

There's nothing that can beat that for sure. Now I wanna sob over this book too .

[@natasha4046]

Being the two sisters sobbing on the floor reading a book

[@cpt.hatemonger1950]

A GOOD book?

[@yasminepanda]

Being those sisters..

[@katymartin3924]

“HOW ARE YOU NOT LOSING YOUR MIND?!” “I am just… more quietly.” Me and my little sister in a nutshell. 😂

[@bookishlandings4445]

Not to be overly philosophocal, but I love how words can have so much power over us. It's some squiggles on a page that we've attached meaning to, and through that we get attached to people who aren't even real and we laugh and cry and get angry with them. The words aren't real, the people aren't real, but the meaning is, and I love that for us.

[@reynidaze]

you should try reading The Starless Sea, if you haven't already, i think you'll like it

[@bookishlandings4445]

@@reynidaze I read it about a year and a half ago! I didn't mind most of it, but the end confused me a lot

[@kiungaskiung5836]

Who says it itsnt real? ^^ just because it isn’t in physical matter it is everything but not real. But that’s just my take a dude who things we are further reaching then just Three Dimensions ^^

[@lipi3954]

I wish. I wish. I wish it wasn't real but the truth is it's VERY real. Judes exist in this world. Too many of them too many.

[@jamieruwen4204]

does anyone else miss this channel 😢

[@juliamarin3848]

Friends break up, friends get married Strangers get born, strangers get buried IT'S BEEN 2 YEARS BUT I'M RIGHT WHERE YOU LEFT ME pleeeeease come back kat

[@soymikleo]

mother pls come back 🥹

[@imanexperiment1]

currently i'm manifesting kat back into our lives 🤞

[@taylorkelly3372]

Where did she go??

[@catherinesmith9675]

You’re so brave for this because I could NOT BE PAID to reread this book.

[@paperbackdreams]

the fact that the music copyright flagged this vid so I literally cannot be paid for my pain......youtube is not on my side

[@taralucent1219]

@@paperbackdreams I appreciate it anyway Kat. Now I have more classical music to listen too. Thank you, love.

[@user-ly2ll5od1r]

Honestly it's the only book that I would ever re-read, reading other books after this felt like a betrayal to those characters.

[@booksbynichelle]

I recently did a re-read where I just stopped after part 2. I left Jude hanging out with Harold. Pretended the last 5 parts just didn't happen. Highly recommend!

[@sdafghnjmklkjhgfds6224]

i left it off in the middle of the Happy Years when Jude and Willem were singing together, I also highly recommend!! :)

[@paperbackdreams]

honestly that is the smartest move you could possibly make imo

[@CamVan299]

Oh this is nice i’ll do it

[@brittanyhoward1741]

Kat and Lauren having A little life Vietnam flashbacks for 17 minutes is the best way to start my Thursday

[@Katie-vg2ff]

@@leoBrofoski23 same question 😕

[@zukihoney135]

@@Katie-vg2ff it’s a phrase people say referencing US soldiers having PTSD from the Vietnam War

[@Katie-vg2ff]

@@zukihoney135 oh thanks

[@izzyshyperfixations]

this is the most chaotic reading vlog i’ ve ever watched and it reminds me of why i love my sister... also you made me read a little life and i have REGRETS

[@spaceacekaitlin333]

This is the perfect representation to my last two brain cells reading A Little Life.

[@paperbackdreams]

that was the goal lololol why say intelligent shit when we could just roll around and scream, our heads off?

[@aden.e]

the goodreads girlies who have seen the updates have been READY for this video

[@evelynchiroque3507]

All our comments were like: why are you doing this to yourself??? 🤣

[@chelseabee023]

meeeee

[@arorasaakshi]

exactly!!! 😂😭

[@emeelyflores9158]

I saw an update from you on goodreads and it reminded me how much I miss you🥲

[@laceyh]

I obviously hope one day you'll be back, but there's something hysterical about the idea that the apex of this channel was a video about re-eading this particular book with Lauren and now it's just over. I hope you're well!

[@bitchlasagna1]

Just bought this book yesterday and I’m saving it for this summer because I can’t emotionally destroy myself during the semester

[@cicigonzales5542]

Haha same. I bought it a couple weeks ago, I’m not sure if I ready for it to emotionally break me

[@kianadoescod6402]

@@cicigonzales5542 you cannot mentally prepare for this book. I had to call my therapist afterwards. It affects everyone differently but Jesus. I’ve never had a book mess me up that badly ever

[@paperbackdreams]

as someone who read it for the first time during finals week, can confirm that reading it during school is NOT the move

[@phix27]

lmao i was just thinking about how i'd only be able to read it during the summer!

[@KaitG99]

She was amazing, i miss her a ton, shes hilarious with a fantastic personality.

[@underhypedandoverrated]

This should be the only way to read a little life, so wholesome yet also so sad

[@fallingpetals15]

I used to watch your videos and I loved your content so much. Understandable that you are taking a break, but I hope you will comeback in the future! I miss your book reviews!!

[@anjalidedha1777]

come back, it's not a joke anymore

[@meadowrae1491]

I love how you and your sister can just hang out and read a book together.

[@semogecarg]

ikr i wish i could have this closeness with my siblings

[@izziedias]

I almost got this book from the library back in 2020. the week I was supposed to go get it, the library closed it was a sign from the universe, and I appreciate it

[@ritaki2758]

I did the same except the book was loaned out... I ended up borrowing it for 2-3 weeks when it was available

[@ACupofNicole]

I admire Lauren for being able to lose her mind quietly, as I AM NOT CAPABLE

[@paperbackdreams]

COULDN'T BE ME EITHER her restraint is imPRESSIVE

[@itsclayo]

Man. Ludovico Einaudi playing in the background while you all hysterically sob is just 🤌

[@marizztellahdeguzman8634]

When both of them started wailing is an accurate representation of my whole life all of the time 🥸

[@catreadsabunch]

This started to have the drama of a renaissance painting with women crying on floors and chairs and couches and I was here for it. I am not sure I could ever read this book but I'm glad it brings you (joy? no depression? yes) ... something.

[@paperbackdreams]

this comment wins. 10/10 romanticization of reading really sad books and getting gross tears all over your sister's house

[@vaibhav6826]

12:35 I didn't cry at all when I read this book in 2019. I felt really sad and heartbroken but I didn't cry because I think I was at a point in my life where I was really burnt out and cold. It's been 2 years and I am in a much much better and happier place now and as a result I am scared of a reread. Love you both guys. ❤️❤️

[@christinadallas1085]

Im the same way!!!! I watched her vlog and expected to cry the whole time. I just felt empty the whole time, and after the end I swear I was depressed for a couple days. I also am in a really good place now so I think reading it now would break me again a whole different way.

[@Mopsiejunior]

I also didn't cry. I felt drained at the end. I hated what had happened, but I just felt so empty inside. Mind you, I was at a super low point in my life at the time.

[@brororoh]

same here! I did not cry throughout the whole book and wondered why. But I was in a bad place in my relationship and just disassociated myself a majority of the time. Im in a better place and im terrified of a reread lol

[@emmairwin581]

My English teacher gave me this book when I was 15 with no context and honestly I didn’t know what to expect and BOY was I overwhelmed. I’ve since reread it and cried my eyes out for hours, but that first time I didn’t shed a single tear 🤷‍♀️ It’s my favourite book.

[@vaibhav6826]

@@brororoh same same! I too had come out of a bad relationship recently.

[@whateverworksmate.721]

It's been about a year since I've sobbed uncontrollably over by bathroom sink at Dear Comrade and I'm not ready to revisit this book for another 2-4 business years, but I'm sure there will come a time when the experience will have retreated far enough into my brain that I'll wanna read it again. I mean I teared up right now remembering it, so that tells you where I'm at emotionally.

[@paperbackdreams]

no I feel that...I'm gonna need four years AT LEAST before my next go

[@the_ash_tree]

I lost it when Lauren tried to call your dad 😂😂😂 my dad never picks up his phone, so I can relate!

[@paperbackdreams]

he was asleep, but he got the message and called us in the morning VERy concerned lololol

[@the_ash_tree]

@@paperbackdreams I can't imagine why he'd be concerned 🤣

[@zozzle_]

Why did you reading the saddest book make me so happy. Legit couldn’t stop smiling watching this. Am I ok?

[@paperbackdreams]

none of us are ok and that's ok

[@magiqian8304]

parts told in harold's pov are the ones that always get me the most

[@blackenedtilldeath]

Why are all my favorite booktubers leaving! :(

[@KarlaGarcia-of7rh]

Your psychotic cry-laugh is everything. I can't believe you did this again but also, thank you. LOL P.S. Is Larry still not allowed to read it?

[@lilhedonistcannibal123]

he's just too sweet for this, he doesn't deserve this pain

[@KarlaGarcia-of7rh]

@@lilhedonistcannibal123 True. His soul doesn't deserve to be corrupted like this :)

[@paperbackdreams]

larry will NEVER be allowed to read it

[@Prissy.6]

@@paperbackdreams LARRY SHOULD ABSOLUTELY NEVER BE ALLOWED

[@sienna8947]

The iconic duo is back with the self destructive behaviour that I absolutely expect

[@amitozkaur4567]

Due to not many people reading or much content about this book, I NEED REPEATED VIDEOS LIKE THIS THANK YOU

[@lilmre5]

Miss your videos so much 🖤 hope you are doing well!! I contemplated re-reading this again soon...now I have a feeling I'm definitely going to after this video😅

[@astrophilehere..343]

Yeah, why is she not posting?😭

[@sohinib42]

YES your little life reading vlog was my first ever watch’ and i’m so glad i found your channel you’re one of the persons i look up to

[@SofiZaragoza]

that was mine too

[@paperbackdreams]

oooo that’s bananas!! thx for sticking around lololol 😅💜

[@humyrahfatima]

Mine as well

[@charnida]

love how you both just feed off of each other's energy. i've owned a little life for monthssss and i've been waiting to buddy read it with my friend. i think this video was the sign to get to it

[@sofiajeremiah1068]

10:35 Kat : HOW ARE YOU NOT LOSING YOUR MIND?!!! Laur : I am. Just more quietly. 😆😭😆😭😆😭😆😭😆😭

[@string808beats]

I actually miss her omg so much has happened in my life since we last saw her..

[@Yohan_2001]

Same here lol. Not any good things tho.

[@oliviadanielle]

Kat: how are you not losing your mind??😭 Lauren: I am just… more quietly Listen if that isn’t the perfect portrayal of every big/ little sister duo🥲💕

[@YolandaChenYT]

This is so wholesome and cozy, reading the most devastating story

[@frankundercoverdragon6288]

Kat really said "what better way to start the year than with pain"

[@ananeu]

its taken me half a year to read this book. and i still have a quarter to go. each page at this point in the book just cues me to cry. i love this book, but its breaking me. this video is, also breaking me. you guys are so strong re-reading holy hec.

[@salmaelhadouchi]

I felt overwhelming rage and disgust while reading this book instead of sadness, it still makes me angry when i think about this book...shall i read it again 😀

[@bahananahana3381]

OMG THIS EMOTION.

[@fallenangelz291]

No

[@miggs7173]

Same!!!! Most people cried and I was expecting to bawl, but I was just so furious! I might reread it though to appreciate the subtle parts of the book

[@nathanruckle4942]

Yeah it’s a pile of garbage for sure

[@thepretentiouspoet]

11:33 onwards, that lil section where you are gabbling and sobbing and the phone is talking to you is what the whole of 2020-2022 thus far has felt like lmao

[@liat7966]

I love how literally everyone in you family is so chill and laid back. Love yalls personality!

[@giuliaamy2838]

Omg yes! You’re the reason why I read a little life and stalking you on Goodreads made me realise you were rereading it so I was and I’m screaming

[@seemasingh-bw8sx]

I'VE BEEN READY FOR THIS SINCE GOODREADS BUT I WAS *NOT* READY TO FEEL THE OVERWHELMING URGE TO DESTROY MYSELF AGAIN

[@withlovegj]

this is so chaotic yet so wholesome at all the same time.... and i'm questioning whether i should actually try picking up this book also can you possible do a Radio Silence reading vlog with Lauren some day???

[@alliestinnett2135]

Your interactions with one another during different emotions throughout the book is so cute

[@theanonymouslove7]

This is such a mood. Honestly the timing of this is insane bc I just read A Little Life for the first time this week, and stayed up last night finishing it. I rewatched your original vlog while I was reading and now to be able to see you two go through it... amazing. I just need to see other people going through what I just went through and also Kat you're crazy for doing this after only 2 years, but I too fear for the moment I decide to reread. Love your vlogs, can't wait for the next one!!

[@saumya9173]

oh how the human species likes to self destruct

[@paperbackdreams]

just out here trying to feel something lol

[@drangel1345]

Now this is how you do a reading vlog!! i was laughing so much but also having flashbacks because X=X 😭😭

[@hawaiianpunch1813]

yk paperbackdreams i love your content your inspirational the way you are yourself and carry yourself i love all your videos i dont think theres a single bad video so whatever you release i just know its you

[@kathynguyen1003]

Why are we here, just to suffer. My favorite part of this video was when you broke Lauren’s glasses it was hilarious and chaotic I love you two together!

[@parishadizady8915]

I'v never posted a comment ever. But today i'm gonna tell you how much i miss your videos. I want you to know what a special little comfort place your videos are. If you are not gonna start posting again, it's obviously your choice, but i just wanted to let you to know that i miss these videos so fucking much and that i hope you'r doing ok.

[@Lokster71]

Nice to see you again. Our reading group are doing A Little Life (although I haven't started it yet.) PS Can I just applaud you for the care you put into your subtitles including actual bonus jokes.

[@paperbackdreams]

aw thank you! good luck with your group read! it'll definitely stimulate some big conversation... :)

[@kristenbell5214]

I can't imagine putting myself through that book for a second time, but thank you for doing it for our entertainment

[@jaclynchung1889]

This video came right at the perfect time! I watched your first reading vlog for "A Little Life" (around a week ago) just as I was also starting it for the first time, and now this video comes out not 20 mins after I finish it!

[@megancummings7922]

THIS BOOK. CANT. EVEN. Literally SOBBED uncontrollably for an hour after I finished reading it. 5 stars for sure, no doubt about it. Just picked up To Paradise last night, can’t wait to start reading it!

[@changedbybooks665]

This is so weird, I was literally crying because I'm reading A Little Life and to "relax and clear my mind" I go to youtube and the first video that appears is this!! The universe doesn't want me to feel better 😂 😭 (I've been meaning to read the book since you posted your first reading vlog)

[@aseaoftomes]

Literally here for this content and the Ludovico Einaudi pieces.

[@donnybuoy]

Still my favorite book of all time, and your first video reading it is what introduced me to it! It obliterated my emotions BUT the characters are just so beautiful, I think about them to this day. Now I feel the need to re-read it!

[@destinywilksalvarado7121]

I’m still to scared to read this 😭 I bought it and everything I just can’t bring myself to pick it up.

[@paperbackdreams]

tbh it’s self care to not read it!! you’re doing yourself a service

[@oof8421]

If you don’t think you should, don’t. Trust

[@seemasingh-bw8sx]

ah yes the woman whose reading vlog i saw last year and started to read this book which wrenched out my entrails reading the same book again, which is gonna convince ME to reread it life's good, peace out

[@annabarbaraserejo6712]

I love when you two do videos together !! Thanks again for closed captioning your videos

[@gentianviolet2785]

this is such a chaotic & sweet video 😭 thankyou kat & laura ✨

[@simsamsammie]

What I've learned from your experiences is if I'm forced to read a harrowing book, it's best to do it with a friend

[@_emma_2005]

After I have just tested positive for Corona and am going to be stuck in my room for the next week, this literally couldn't have come at a better time. And it was so perfectly chaotic and wholesome. I love it!

[@cafereadings]

Huge respect to you two for going through the absolute most emotional rollercoaster !!!!!twice!!!!!!

[@aminagrcic1806]

I would love to see more reading vlogs from you, these are so amazing, I'm having the best time even though you're obviously going through a rough patch in your (little) life. Hopefully, this trend continues and we see more from you. I jump out of my chair each time I see that you posted a video! I adore you both

[@martinasophiaisaksen3034]

Okay kat and Lauren crying and laughing for 17 minutes straight is my perfect brand of content

[@aden.e]

i also read this in january and it really did put me in a horrible mental state that i’m still not out of 😀 my favorite book of all time tho..

[@kyndramiller-greene3489]

I think that whatever sweater thing Laur is wearing at the end would be great to absorb my tears on my eventual re-read

[@ILoveJahangeer]

Love you both! The glasses breaking had me in stitches LOL! Stay amazing! ❤️❤️

[@iLOVEyou161616]

My new goal in life is to find a friend I can read an emotional book with in the same room so we can cry together

[@haxel222]

Omg today is 27 January 2024! It's been exactly 2 years since you last posted. Miss you so much:(

[@Atwood05]

2 years*

[@kzhrar]

I'm in the middle of my reread too and this is just what I needed to push through it. BLES YOU!!!

[@sterreb1108]

your timing is immaculate!! i just got this book and wanted to start it really soon!!

[@mounabelaid1326]

I didn't shed a single tear reading a little life, what does that say about me 😰😰 my only expression during the whole thing was 😬

[@tastyratatouille142]

Ur cold cold bish

[@_phew]

Me too 😂 My reactions were all like 😶😮😯😱 that's all 🤣 we need help sis

[@tissa3726]

Same here Mouna. But it affected my mood a lot.

[@Incognition37]

Nah, a lot of people didn’t cry; I don’t think Hanya necessarily wrote the sad parts in a sad way, if that makes sense. Plus you become numb the more traumatic events you read about

[@lyanne2765]

Now i need someone who i can cry with if i decided to reread this again because ill probably lose my mind if it is just me

[@moonchild1420]

ok so... I have tried reading A Little Life but couldn't go through with it knowing what's going to happen (regarding the trigger warnings) but seeing you both so invested and it being a whole experience, I want to give it another try! omg also the 5 out 5 rating is just too tempting

[@zengar]

i admire you going thru this again

[@saumya9173]

the sequel that i definitely asked for

[@achedgirl]

we miss you :(

[@jacqueliner804]

I finished rereading this yesterday! Good timing!

[@lindseyswieringa9239]

I just watched your other a little life video for the first time. reading it right now and i love it

[@mirekkkwtf]

This is the best day of this miserable year

[@twinkle2007]

When I saw the title..... speechless 🙂🙂🙂

[@paperbackdreams]

u and me both, bud

[@jonebiboh]

I just began the video but the instrumental choice to start was brilliant and beautiful.

[@meg659]

I don't think I can ever read that book a second time (even though my feelings are the same as yours), but this was a lovely experience watching you both reread it!

[@falonwillow]

i just started rereading this book i feel validated

[@emilygannon3122]

Got halfway through A Little Life and had to take a ~mental health break~ from reading but this video might be a sign that I need to finish. Ty Kat and OG Kat for the iNsPiRaTiOn

[@paperbackdreams]

DNFing is also a WONDERFUL choice :)

[@batooljafri2546]

Best reading vlog, I get to see others emotionally suffer without going through it myself:) Great video, loved it a lot!!

[@claudiacuilbheir1182]

This v-log made me really sad that I don't have a sister! I'd love to read something so scarring with a supportive sibling, but my brother doesn't like to read as much as me (also, we have different taste). You two have a really lovely bond, I hope to see more v-logs like this one

[@swasthikasuresh4728]

ngl this motivates me to pick up the book and read it asap

[@paperbackdreams]

no pls don’t let this be the catalyst live ur happiest life

[@anaya2464]

BEEN THERE DONE THAT! so glad to see i am not alone in my stupidity TwT

[@alexiatondello]

love this love chaos ✨ btw KAT WE NEED MORE READING VLOGS THIS IS GOLD

[@fsg93able]

I always grew up wishing I had a sister, it was just my dad, two brothers and me since I was 7 and they’ve never really known what to do when I cry. And I cry alllllllll the time, mostly secretly in my room now, especially when reading, I just don’t think they would get it. Anyways I just wanted to say, you guys have such a beautiful relationship and I love that you feel comfortable sharing it with the world. It’s so cute that you can laugh and cry and be crazy together and let others feel a small part of that joy. ❤️