We've Already had the WORST Movie of 2025

Star Trek: Section 31 looked at Borderlands and said, y'know what, we can definitely do worse than that. A comically disgraceful movie that, in a just universe, would end many careers.
Main channel: ‪@TheLittlePlatoon‬
Avatar design by @Altriesallthetime
Here's his website (for commissions and such): altries.square...
Monday night LIVE: The Best Show in the Universe (Probably): @BSUPyt
Support the channel!
Patreon: / thelittleplatoon

[@joriankell1983]

>The Godsend is a failsafe doomsday weapon in case I die >I have to activate it manually SOMEONE WROTE THIS

[@thecaptain6730]

Yes, she was saving it so that she could use it after she was killed in a coup. Good stuff!

[@boobah5643]

@@thecaptain6730 Yes, the plan for this weapon had step 1 as 'die unexpectedly.' After which you head over to the storage facility so you can personally activate the weapon.

[@idokeren6528]

Am I naive in thinking that no human could be dumb enough to write that and that the writing must have been outsourced to AI there?

[@tsusmildrides4937]

​@@idokeren6528You are, slop like this was written before AI exist

[@Mortlupo]

Yes, because Doomsday devices only use dead-man switches....every bomb by its design has a way to manually arm it, as well as disarm it.

[@PasOdMater]

The things that were done to Star Trek in the last decade must be some kind of crime.

It feels like a snuff film but its franchises instead of a person being tortured and violated.

[@greebo5294]

Definitely against the Prime Directive.

[@pittland44]

@@PasOdMater If only we could Alex Kurtzman and J.J. Abrams convicted of something.

[@ploppyboothanger4648]

I'm told that forcing people to watch modern Star Trek is going to be classed as cruel and unusual punishment

[@asarishepard8171]

The hack wars😂

[@1SpicyMeataball]

"My father was blacksmithing swords at his forge, when he died." - Madame Web?

[@Stagolee76]

I hope the swords were worth it, Dad.

[@LegendaryDorkKnight]

Fuck, I came here to comment this, but you beat me to it by several hours.

[@ashen-one--x]

Where is my ember? They took my ember!

[@clownpenisfart]

That was the last time I saw him.

[@Lobsterwithinternet]

Madam Weeb.

[@matthewmarek1467]

No matter how bad it is, it can always gets worse.

[@D_Adrian]

yes...as someone who likes original star wars and loves DS9 I can say, your words are my words and give me comfort for years now

[@The_blessed_dead]

There is no bottom on this barel just increasingly cold hard stinking layers of grease

[@revolioclockman8090]

"Our expectations were low, but holy fuck" will become the slogan of this entire decade.

[@lifemattersnot]

Please no more

[@JohnDoe-wf1tl]

*will

[@kyletitterson-barry1892]

Little Platoon: This is the worst movie of 2025. Hollywood: Challenge Accepted...

[@thanatoast4389]

Snow White cometh

[@pittland44]

@@thanatoast4389 I was going to say the exact same thing. Snow white is right around the corner.

[@CommanderZx2]

​@@thanatoast4389and Captain America.

[@irishbob26]

Hollywood - hold my soy latte.

[@draketheduelist]

The worst movie of 2025 _so far..._

[@S1nwar]

For anyone who isnt into Star Trek: This movie is like The Acolyte if they ALSO didnt care about props, costumes, sets or naval visual continuity of any kind

[@rogerborg]

So, just like the Acolyte?

[@olafgurke4699]

@@rogerborg In the Acoshyte, at least the sets looked decent enough. I can't believe I say this, but it seems it has one meagre thing above this brain fart of a movie.

[@Camelsarse]

One thing i'd say about The Acolyte is that at least it looks like its part of the SW world even if the tale told is god awful. This piece of turd is SO FAR AWAY from ST its unreal.

[@S1nwar]

@Camelsarse yes all the disney star wars series LOOK amazing. A complete waste

[@FixTheLanes]

Sounds like a riot. I will definitely be going to see this (in another life)

[@silverscorpio24]

That's quite the bold statement. We still have Snow Brown, Captain You-Gotta-Do-Better, Jack Blackcraft, Thunderbums and Jurassic World: Abortion still to go.

[@hirudinaria]

I had the exact same take. 😂😂

[@seeinred]

Oh hell no, they are STILL making sequels to JW? Jesus Christ

[@seeinred]

Actually no, i imagine Jesus Christ would be against being anywhere near mentions of such vile corpse-fckery

[@pittland44]

@@seeinred Apparently the horror never ends. I love Jurassic Park (the original) I think it's one of the greatest movies ever made. At this point I'm just tired of the Jurassic World movies.

[@seeinred]

@@pittland44 Yeah, i can imagine how that feels like. Man. Hope the movie era of "violently defecating over anything good that was made in the past" is going to end soon.

[@zeroman614]

She’s not an “Anti-Hero” she’s a “Wine Auntie Hero”

[@pittland44]

That is brilliant.

[@stellviahohenheim]

I will not stand Michelle Yeoh slander, she's a martial arts legend. The show totally doesn't know how to use her and casted her to tick some boxes

[@SatanLiterally]

I . . . . . think she's a bit overrated as an actress.

[@asarishepard8171]

They dont understand that anti heroes are jerks who still wind up doing good things and focused on the jerk part 😂

[@zeroman614]

@@asarishepard8171jerking is all they know.

[@urmeli0815]

I'm currently watching DS9 for the first time and it's such a delight in every thinkable way (actors, stories, dialogs, ...). It hurts seeing what Star Trek degenerated into since the 2009 reboot.

[@Valkbg]

I recently started TNG for the first time and even Season 1 which is panned as one of the worst of the series is pretty great.

[@darthtripedacus1]

I envy you as to watch it again but for the first time. dS9 is my favorite

[@dragonsontv4412]

Commander Sisko is one of the greatest of all time in Star Trek.

[@RickHansbury]

That is mostly because the first seasons of TNG, like Voyager and many others were a mixture of “good” and “bad” episodes. A lot was because of budget and time constraints. The episodes that “failed” did so bravely and spectacularly because they were trying to tell a rich story, not mock or deconstruct the very idea of honor or heroism or officerlike conduct or even adult behavior and morality. I think life imitates art and I am glad I am a well armed old fart. 😎

[@loki8284]

​​@@RickHansbury It's also worth noting that Gene Roddenberry was still heavily involved with TNG during the first and second seasons and was using ideas they didn't get to use on TOS (along with some very ham-handed messaging). Once he bowed out due to health reasons, the show was able to come into its own.

[@thomasciuffreda8783]

Oh God, how could anybody see that script and not think ChatGPT had plopped out a really long Robot Chicken sketch by mistake?! That Rick and Morty footage is like the ozone layer- it protected us from getting eye cancer.

[@sprinkle61]

Morty's parody fanfic movie idea perfectly explains this abortion

[@joriankell1983]

No, it was double eye cancer

[@drewt1717]

Clearly AI has a long way to go. It sure mucked up this script beyond redemption... Oh wait. People wrote this? I guess AI really has caught up with humanity 😅😢😭🤬

[@RickHansbury]

I’m sorry, but I have watched Robot Chicken and found it to be insightful and funny. Section 31 sounds like the return counter at Wmart when the loser in front of you lost their receipt and goes Karen on them. 😢

[@serpentinious7745]

Ironic, given that Rick & Morty is generally the one causing eye cancer

[@trygveplaustrum4634]

This movie feels inspired by the original Suicide Squad. It took all the worst elements and cranked them up to eleven!

[@EyeOfMagnus4E201]

For some reason it also felt like the writers had been inspired by Rebel Moon too.

[@BillPeschel]

I had to stop. The "Godsend/God's End" bickering broke me. Even our host can't encourage me to go on without a rest and/or stiff drink.

[@MrTobi013]

Good thing my hands were busy with dishes...otherwise I would've thrown my phone down the garbage disposal.

[@SGresponse]

@@MrTobi013 New dishes are cheaper indeed, but I bet picking the broken shards lodged into the wall was still a pain in the arse.

[@MrTobi013]

@@SGresponse the pain would've been a welcomed release from such incredible dialogue.😅

[@chasjetty8729]

Upon reaching the same point I was struck with an urge so strong to push away the content all that came to mind was that Slotin fellow pushing away the super critical demon core hemisphere. Section 31 is radioactive hell.

[@atomicdancer]

To boldly bicker where no one has bickered before... Star Trek: It's dead, Jim.

[@chrisl9112]

I played the x5 speed part at x2 speed and it still wasn't fast enough to keep my brain from melting

[@stellviahohenheim]

Alex Kurtzman turned Star Trek into Temu Guardians of the galaxy

[@nERVEcenter117]

Star Trek used to be written by nerds and philosophers. Idiot theatre kids have no idea how sci-fi works and why people like it. Doesn’t help that they have a diva complex and think they’re such great unrecognized talent.

[@thecaptain6730]

🎯🎯🎯

[@dlxmarks]

It's like Joss Whedon's bastard children from the 1990s inherited his worst creative impulses, came together at Secret Hideout, and made this.

[@PraxesArdenn]

Trying too hard to be Joss Whedon describes most ""nerd"" media that followed Firefly and Avengers

[@RickHansbury]

I really need to get busy and invent that Time Machine. This timeline is becoming quantum instability or some bull💩. 😂

[@boobah5643]

With some extra irony because Whedon actually had a character that would have fit in Section 31 as portrayed in _DS9_ with _Serenity's_ Operative.

[@mistyfrogchannel]

I love that nearly 50 minute videos go on the SHORT channel.

[@marcogenovesi8570]

He is a fellow of the Long

[@trygveplaustrum4634]

32:56 “You will never make me a murderer.” -Top-echelon agent of Starfleet’s sketchiest, shadiest organization in history.

[@Gorbz]

The only way that this is Section 31, is if it was secretly a controlled mission with no real threat, cooked up to test Georgiou to see if she would be a good agent. As she seems unable to keep a low profile, she failed, but they like to let her think she is in.

[@LainiWeiz]

Isn't she just regular Starfleet there to oversee the Section 31 Squad or something?

[@markgrehan3726]

@@LainiWeiz I've not seen much of the new Trek but Section 31 wasn't an official part of Starfleet it was more a rogue group who would have been arrested by Starfleet security. So basically It was weird that they announced that they are Section 31 so often and they wouldn't have a Starfleet officer overseeing the Black Bag organization in the first place as that kinda defeats their purpose.

[@Darkington]

It feels strange that children's movies of the not-so-distant past felt compelled to show us that there are some people who are unredeemable. And now characters who are worse than any dictator of the 20th century get a full, undeserved, redemption; at no personal cost.

True, I dont remember anyone crying over Sharptooth's death in Land Before Time or claiming that Littlefoot and his friends were discriminating against T-Rexes due to racism among dinosaurs.

[@trazyntheinfinite9895]

Only that there is no redemption. You do not get applause for cleaning up the mess you made.

[@thequietman95]

After hearing Platoon’s description of her dossier, my first thought was that this lady would make the Draka say “Steady on; that’s a bit extreme.”

[@sztallone415]

But not ALL redemption arcs are made equal. The characters' ethnic, gender etc. background heavily modifies the likelihood of an arc like this in [current year]. Said dictator of the 20th century was most likely a "white" man so they won't get this arc.

[@dragonmaster1360]

@sztallone415 Not only is he "white", but he also persecuted the "chosen peoples", whom nobody is allowed to critique or criticize. The very same peoples pushing this woke, anti-wyt, anti-male trash onto western society. So he's doubly not getting the redemption arc that objectively worse people are getting in media these days.

[@SGresponse]

That GODSEND clip is when I understood what Chord meant when he said it is the worst movie. There is comic relief - and then there's THIS BULLSHIT.

[@LostChord]

It felt like Ghostbusters 2016, when the direction was “just be funny.”

[@SGresponse]

​@@LostChord Nah. This takes TAKES if it's improv. And they liked that so much, that it left the cutting room intact TWICE. My bet is on this joke beginning life not on set but earlier - in the writer's room. Also I hate this "fake bickering" thing. Normally when people bicker one will take over and the other one will step back and wait their turn while looking smug and aloof instead of both just speaking over each other for more than 5 seconds - unless it's a political rally of course.

[@jorgamund07]

​@@LostChordI saw the godsend clip before seeing the context of what Godsend was in this case. Having the content makes the "joke" 10x worse. That's the opposite of how humor is supposed to work.

[@archstanton9073]

The Don is always funny.

[@DeadlyPlatypus]

*They tried to explain away the laughing Vulcan as a literal Incel* He lost his mind in the pon farr because he couldn't find a mate. The misandry seeps into everything.

[@90viper90]

Whats funny is that leftists have this obsession with painting men as incels like the majority of lefty men arent virgins 😂

[@90viper90]

Whats funny is that these left wing creators like to portray centrist/right wing men as incels, yet left wing men are the most sexless of all.

[@90viper90]

Whats funny is that these left wing creators like to portray centrist/right wing men as incel, yet left wing men are the most sexless of all.

[@90viper90]

Whats funny is that these left wing creators like to portray centrist/right wing men as sexless (i wanted to use the 'I' word you used but...youtube censorship) yet left wing men are the most sexless of all.

[@Werewolf.with.Internet.Access]

Ooooof, I know literally next to nothing about Trek other than “Vulcans have pointy ears and laser beams go pew pew”, but that sounds miserable and mean spirited as hell

[@TheInternetHelpdeskPlays]

Section 31 is the worst movie of the year. Snow white: "hold my beer"

[@catsabotage3362]

Section 31 hurts Star Trek. Snow White just hurts itself.

[@awesomehpt8938]

Remember when section 31 was just a cool subplot of DS9? That explained that the federation did have something like the tal shiar and the obsidian order. But because the federation is such a utopia that they didn’t want to admit that it existed. It made the federation a little more grey and nuanced and interesting. And a little hypocritical. Now they’ve ruined the concept with this abomination.

[@hankrearden5460]

What made Sloan and section 31 work in DS9 is how little we actually knew about the organization. It was just one man who was willing to poison a whole species to end the war. No one in Starfleet knew of his existence. I don't even know what this shit has in common with DS9 Section 31 besides its name, there is literally nothing else in common

[@pittland44]

I remember. I always thought they were absolutely necessary, even if the Federation didn't want to admit that they needed such an organization (such is the case with Black Ops in Intel Agencies, hell the general public in the U.S.A. didn't know about the NSA until the late 1970's). They added another great layer to the story and the fact that they got the great William Sadler to play Sloane didn't hurt either. Now, we have this garbage with Michelle Yeoh, who is literally old enough to be someone's grandma, playing a very bad hybrid of a femme fatale and the Austrian moustache man.

Hell DS9's Section 31 came off more like the guys who do the dirt deeds in the dark, so others can live in the light and not have to become the very thing that the Section 31 guy even seemed to know they were a necessary evil to prevent greater evils.

[@pittland44]

Precisely.

[@theinnerlight8016]

A subplot yes. But never a cool one.

[@atom_gray]

"My God, it's full of crap."

[@geneangrypenguin5876]

The Shitilith, hovering over Hollywood increasing it's mass.

[@freemanconnell8134]

I can’t believe this shit has “Based on Star Trek created by Gene Roddenberry” in the end credits 😢

[@oscarb4822]

There's so little plot I can't imagine how this would have worked as a series. But at the same time there's so much stupid its genuinely dangerous concentrated in one movie.

[@rogerborg]

It looks like the pilot for a series. The amazing thing is that even Paramount didn't greenlight it after smelling what they'd excreted.

[@TheWaterdog6]

This movie makes me think of that parody that Red Letter Media made on Startrek Discovery where they use lines like "Now this is using math!" at the end where the girl starts orgasming over chaos and just repeating "I am one with chaos, I breathe chaos, chaos is my friend with benefits, Chaos is the mind killer." like this explains how she is able to just pretend she is Rick and do whatever techno required by the plot. When the entire personality and character before this was tight ass who is OCD about order, her entire character does a 180 because "Chaos is cool, and people who hate chaos are not good people. So she needs to be a lesbian- I mean chaotic. And she needs blue hair, because blue haired people are good and smart." Ive never seen someone try make some kind of psudo self insert take over. A straight laced, straight woman who has to give up order so she can become a chaos worshiping sexual deviant who admires and serves someone who has committed more warcrimes than are currently invented with a team of dicks who talk like a bunch of starbucks smart asses gets along perfectly well. They are always villains, cosplaying as heros. Their fiction is less fiction and some kind of psychological portrayal of the creators and how they see the world.

[@user-zq6sz2cr6g]

Hush, you fool! We said the same about 'Madame Web' last year 😨.

[@LostChord]

Tbf I said that was the *best* movie of the year and I was absolutely correct.

[@user-zq6sz2cr6g]

@@LostChord Fair enough 😊

[@donweatherwax9318]

​@@LostChord You misspelled "breast"

[@BasedIntrusiveThoughts]

To think that adults made this sludge in earnest. Mind blowing.

[@eljefeamericano4308]

Seriously. People got PAID to make this.

[@stellviahohenheim]

It's Hollywood still burning?

[@rogerborg]

And this was the very best that they could do. Nobody sets out to make a bad film.

[@asarishepard8171]

Very stupid adults

[@axelhopfinger533]

Sure, "adults"... 😒

[@bad-people6510]

2:52 Because this ISN'T how the Terran Empire chooses it's rulers. If one thing has been established about the Terran Empire (other than that it no longer exists) it's that it is hyper Machiavellian. Power is not given, it is taken.

[@taylorlinyard3533]

It’s the “Alice from the CW’s so successful it got cancelled after three seasons and a main character change Batwoman in space.” Movie we never asked for.

[@preston_plb]

Platoon never fails to deliver bangers. Even on the second channel. Ps. When dooooon?

[@archstanton9073]

He doesn't mention The Don appearing in this TV movie.

[@commanderkruge]

The "Vulcan" is not JUST a MIB reference - it's also a quite obvious nod to an outtake from the first JJ Abrahams Trek movie: There's the scene in which Kirk and Spock for the first time get into old Spock's spaceship and the computer recognizes young Spock and he sits down in the pilot chair and says "Fascinating!" There's a version of the scene in which both actors do all the dialogue in this Irish accent. "Fascinaetin'!" It's actually quite funny. I suppose the writers of Section 31 thought so too, so they took the idea and gave the accent to the robot Vulcan. Oh what fun we have!

[@cha02psc]

Not one writing team has understood Section 31 since DS9.

[@tpyntavyk5552]

I don't think Enterprise handled that badly, having Malcolm be one of their agents.

[@agzane268]

​@tpyntavyk5552 section 31 was always dumb, and was barely passable in ds9 since they were portrayed as villainous

[@aredjayc2858]

​@@agzane268A rogue group that does the dirty work so that Star Fleet can keep its hands clean isn't dumb conceptually

[@Idazmi7]

It's dumb when you watch TOS and witness Starfleet doing their own dirty work without irony.

[@aredjayc2858]

@@Idazmi7 true, but it does gel with the TNG Era of Star Fleet

[@gregorylieber8362]

10:05 "Ocean's 47th chromosome" is a brilliant line and you should be proud of yourself. Hahahahaha

[@II-wu7mx]

My god, Captain Marvel abducted The Don and sent him to space. The poor man has been subjected to extensive body modification and reduced to a life of crime to support his sick daughter.

[@Geek0ftheWeek]

I will be forever grateful for the ×5 playback speed.

[@EcclesiastesLiker-py5ts]

Wait, you can play this video at five x? How? I'm stuck at two x.

[@Apocalypso-w3i]

Oh my god, they literally…parodied? the R&M heist parody? When you unironically rip off a parody, but play it serious, is that a reverse parody? Or an unparody? Or something else entirely? Who the fuck DOES that?

[@ytsuxmuhd4998]

Fantastic Beast 3 did the same thing.

[@twomo1]

Wow, I mean, Hollywood has been doing it for a while now, but between emelia perez and this movie, they really are pushing the "irredeemable villain is a redeemed good guy" plot heavy recently. I would say that they need to rewatch shows like the sopranos or breaking bad, shit, even dexter to see how you write good "protag is a bad guy" shows. But having watched the penguin weekly, It just goes to show that these types of shows can still work, these writers and directors are just shit.

[@JR-kx3jr]

Modern Hollywood has decided that anytime you have a team of characters, they need to be constantly bickering with each other.

[@A.M.Kovacs.Author.Musician]

Wait, the Augments did not conquered planets, they never got that far. But eh.... what is canon?

[@Gorbz]

Canon is hard, apparently.

[@gato_capitalista]

Although I don't hear "Straight to DVD" anymore, I still see movies that fit the description perfectly

[@AndrooUK]

This is straight to tape... even fewer people will be able to watch this.

[@aurorauplinks]

what happened to movies about star trek, actually having noble characters who do whats right, and a grumpy doctor character who somehow helps the team get back alive from whatever crazy mission they are sent on.

[@markgrehan3726]

To be fair the Movies are a very mixed bag.

[@lobodawg74]

Star Trek, Star Wars and super hero movies need to take a five year break.

[@elitronprime7322]

Nah, you see… this was a TV movie. So it doesn’t count

[@rogerborg]

It counts on Paramount's balance sheet, including devaluing whatever's left of the franchise's value.

[@OneMoreDesu]

Correct.

[@leewright1]

I know she was paid but wtf is Michelle Yeoh doing? What kind of performance, line delivery is she going for?

[@williamhare4456]

Good news. Michelle Yeoh’s Star Trek contract has been fulfilled with this movie so unless Paramount is willing to pay a king’s ransom to get her back for “Section 31 2 time to get a crew together” she’s gone.

[@cha02psc]

“Bad ass kick ass quippy villain hero”

[@WilberforceWooster-uo2bl]

I thought the same. Yeoh is amazing, but her performance here is bizarre at best, plain bad at worst.

[@petriew2018]

honestly, i think she was doing exactly what the director wanted her to do. When everyone's acting sucks this bad, that's almost always the fault of the director

[@SFTaYZa]

Old Asian hag.

[@elderforest617]

If the Acolyte were a movie ...

[@tanatonaut870]

The Borg were right all along. Cooperation, equality, professionalism. I wish they would conquer the universe and end this hell.

[@SommersetStriker]

You know a movie is bad when it's hard to sit through a review

[@joelsalyer5544]

Whoa, little platoon! What did I do to deserve having section 31 forced upon me? Oh well at least I have your groovy humor to make it survivable.

[@nfchance76]

Is this a second channel of his. I hope this is not stolen content.

[@Alakazzam09]

I wonder about the women who always 'identify' with villains, evil and manipulation.

[@akashajones6079]

What a pathetic comment.

[@MrOgyny]

Sooooo all of em

[@rutessian]

"Trying to muster sexy time.." - who wrote this ? Borat's cousin?

[@bastiangugu4083]

I really have to thank Hollywood for making slop like this. With this and Disparu's video about it, I got more entertainment out of it than I would have if I watched the film. But do you really think Snow White will not "top" this? Will you subject yourself to Emilia Perez? And is there any hope for the Dune video?

[@ParkerCS2]

A Minecraft Movie also looks terrible.

[@criticalcommenter]

Disparu is the worst. Dude looks like he drinks 8 liters of coke a day, never brushes his teeth and somehow even over the net I can tell that he smells bad 😂 Then you have the constant rage bait videos with little to no actual content. I don't see the appeal

[@irishbob26]

How can 2 people, both phase shifting, ever make physical contact? I don't think they actually understand that concept 😂

[@dragonmaster1360]

How can two phase shifting people even walk on a floor that they're not in phase with? Even before the fighting happens, the premise is already borked.

[@rogerfurlong1535]

Calling this garbage Star Trek should be a crime.

[@fnhatic6694]

"We hop over to present-day Los Angeles" Cut to a burning, dead, polluted wasteland

[@JoeSyxpack]

Wait. The Terran Empire is a couple of mud huts?

[@mbob4337]

God, I so love Kurtzman Trek. Where everyone speaks and looks like present day America. Why do you think Persis Khambatta was cast as Lt. Illia. Because her look and accent. Made her feel alien. They made her bald. And she spoke different. Sold the role very well. Now we got a deltian that just acts like someone from Earth.

[@Whirblewind]

How many takes did "bickering and quipping" take?

[@jamesdaniel5905]

I am getting the Jaguar commercial ad vide

[@NuclearFridge1]

Same here, and it's making my skin crawl

[@jamesdaniel5905]

can we start using the term "Jaguar Vibe" to describe that uncomfortable weird feeling we get from this stuff

[@smakfu1375]

Just remember, Kurtzman watched the final edit and thought: “nailed it!”.

[@Zyklon_B_still_and_know_God]

The sped up chipmunk voices during the quips is just *chefs kiss*

[@coyoteone6197]

It's both funny, and a profound act of mercy.

[@eppinizer]

You're listening to The Morning Dump with Bicker and Quip on W-KLME

[@solidshake12]

As a Trekie, I'd love to laugh at this. But it just irritates and saddens me. Final nail in the coffin. Star Trek's long slumber continues.

[@fishjones4618]

“Sounds like a dump truck can catch up with a Bugatti”. Wasn’t that a Top Gear segment?

[@Sue20022010]

I was 1 when the original Star Trek was new. It boggles the mind how the IP has degraded

[@itok1314]

Oh my sweet summer child, I have expected more pessimism from someone who has a penchant for, shall we say, a sardonic outlook on all things. This is not the worst, rather a precursor of things to come. However, to be fair, should this travesty of a 'film' truely be the worst of the lot, then I shall tip my hat in congratulations to you (and that clown car you insist is a country.) Bravo! Well done.

[@andrevillemaire5561]

Fire the writers, get rid of woke DEI and the rest of the salad that has wrecked our movies for the last 10 years, this movie was really horrible and a punch in the face to all star trek fans.

[@Furstofoctober]

You only say things like this when you have a keyboard to hide behind

[@Furstofoctober]

"Woke" for you cowards is just code for anything you're too small minded to understand

[@ayylmao4353]

@@Furstofoctober Nope, pet, many talk outside

[@SFTaYZa]

​@Furstofoctober jog on

[@AndrooUK]

​@@FurstofoctoberIt's really not controversial to say Nu Trek is awful...

[@SatanLiterally]

1:05 this is the bravest face reveal on KZbin, bravo

[@jclark2752]

The entire discovery fiasco has been tragic. It’s so weird to find something Insulting because it Tries Sooo Hard to show it Isn’t Insulting to Anyone at All!!! (How dare you!)

[@jclark2752]

Strange New Worlds for the WIN!

[@mudcrab3420]

Why is one of the kids poisoned at the start wearing a knitted jumper? Where do they get the wool? I am not seeing a massive sheep industry on that dust planet. And why is the father forging a sword? Where does he get the iron? Why a sword? Does your dust planet have a warrior culture where people actually need swords? Why are you still working the blade when you already have the fancy cross guard fitted? Why is the sword still hot? Didn't the entire family sit down to dinner so she could poison them? "Hey Dad? Dinner's ready!" "No worries Daughter. Just let me leave this sword on a nice heat so the middle of the blade remains yellow hot for an extended period. The nearly complete blade will be perfectly fine until I come back"

[@Axterix13]

To add to the garbage scow language thing: Why would a garbage scow have a self-destruct button? A warship having scuttling charges is one thing, but this is a garbage scow...

[@Lampoluke]

It has a self-destruct because it's a ship used by a black ops team that needs to have some way to be deleted easily to leave no evidence. Now, why the self destruct was installed alongside the garbage scow, that is the question. Somebody at section 31 really hates the team (understandable)

[@TylerDgoogle]

Thanks for the 5x speed. I now understand why you'd put this on the secondary channel.

[@name-vi6fs]

They made a Star Trek heist movie? What... the .... fuck?

[@willbohland3698]

It's brilliant! We'll do other genres and skin them with failed characters from a franchise we've destroyed! Brilliant.

[@maximilian9000]

This sounds like it would have been more entertaining as an Alvin and the Chipmunks movie.

[@buzzingdog]

Secret Hideout Inc. "Permanently Closed".... if only

[@jeebus2121]

It gets me right to the cusp of genuine anger a Star Trek movie has someone phase shift and then let's them walk on solid surfaces and not be left in the void of space because they'd be separated from the ship the moment it made any direction change. It's stupid, and stupid in a way most 8yr olds would see through.

[@AndrooUK]

Even the 'good' Treks had this same problem...

[@dragonmaster1360]

To paraphrase the immortal words of Homer Simpson: "The worst [...] so far."

[@Drain_Life]

It'd be more accurate to say this is the worst movie of January.

[@gunstargizmo]

Michelle Yeoh should never be allowed to act in another science fiction film.

[@AndrooUK]

Or any? It's difficult to understand her English, and she is really stiff and generic/lame as an actress.

[@gunstargizmo]

@ I think she’s good in Asian themed films, and she’s done some great voice acting for movies like Kung-Fu Panda. She just seems like a farmer that’s been dropped in a city when it comes to sci-fi.

[@trygveplaustrum4634]

How many times did we say THAT in 2024?

[@frankowalker4662]

Perfect review. Cheers Ploots. 🥃

[@OuroborosChoked]

If Jerome Bixby knew his creation of the mirror universe would lead to... basically _everything_ using the mirror universe that came after Mirror, Mirror... I'm positive he wouldn't've written Mirror, Mirror. I have entirely lost patience for alternate universes and time travel plots. The former removes all stakes. The latter almost always creates plot holes, paradoxes, or split timelines (aka alternate universes).

[@andrews4717]

You can tell how bad a Star Trek series is by how often they use the Mirror universe

[@TomErnst-uy4qi]

Alex Kurtzman: "What's better than a mystery box? A mystery box within a mystery box!!!! Pure, unadulterated genius!"

[@Kolodis21]

The Don deserved better than this movie.

[@ChrisGrahamkedzuel]

This is literally the most not Star Trek movie ever created.

[@MrTobi013]

I don't know what pisses me off more: the dumbass writing in this movie that is suppose to represent Star Trek...or the amount of freaking ads interrupting every three minutes.😑

[@markiangooley]

It seems to happen on almost every video nowadays, the ad blitz…

Go Ublock origin my dude, best decision you will ever make, well when it comes to online ad spam.

[@MrTobi013]

@@markiangooley I get it when our favorite content creators need the cash and all when it comes to ads...but it's getting ridiculous! I'm at the point I cant even listen to royalty free music to fall asleep to without some loud ass ad waking me back up!

[@MrTobi013]

Ugh, at least it's a solution. Sounds like an idea and thanks!

[@toxn1xwaste378]

​@@MrTobi013 Ad block my friend... Its free and take no time at all to set up! You Can also toggle it off if you want to support your youtuber. Lots of solutions out there that will solve your problem faster than it takes to complain about it.

[@Pestilencemage]

...I could have pulled it off, bro. I'd have a whole thing about how all her atrocities were done in a universe that required it and could not abide such morals as we have here. And so once here, she realizes "She is strong enough to offer mercy here". Aannnnd challenges to that safety almost flipping her are the plot hook you try not to abuse too often but definitely will be a repeat theme as many times as you can attack the concept in a new enough direction.

[@fatjoe460]

Funny thing is the only character I liked from Discovery was the murderous Georgiou. Found it interesting that such an evil character like her would regret the atrocities she committed in the Mirroverse. Outside that I found Discovery such a miserable experience to get through but somehow Section 31 is worse. All the worse aspects of modern Star Trek are hyper charged to a comical degree. Don't see RLM defending this one like they did with the Acolyte.

[@dragonmaster1360]

If they can defend Acolyte, they can defend anything...

[@billjacobs521]

RLM likes Trek, but doesn't really care that much about Star Wars, hence the double standard.

[@psibug565]

So the weapon which looks like it came from L Ron Hubbard’s book Battlefield Earth is being delivered by an Alien that looks like a Vogon from Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy and the whole film is based on a heist movie. What is this a blend of cliches? If they were going to do bad fan fiction and where is Mary Sue and Kirk?

[@ParkerCS2]

You clearly forget A Minecraft Movie, Snow Brown, and Captain America Brave New World.

[@dontbeorbeevil]

I do not think that cap falcon will be entertainingly bad. They definitely improved it with reshoots. But like every big movie before it, it stands on the edge, ready to fall off the cliff.

[@Mrfox2025]

I’m introducing my sons into TOS TNG and DS9..those are Star Trek…this is Kirkmans trek…this is shit

[@Left4Coragem]

Platoon, why you have to challenge them to do worse? They will take on your challenge.

[@Syntox]

Star Trek written by and for people who hate Star Trek

[@Ki_Adi_Mundi]

You knows waht? That little alien guy in a Vulcan bot is actually a really cool idea, that I sincerely wish was in a better Star Trek show...

[@PraxesArdenn]

It's hardly original, it's in sci-fi literature, and also in Men in Black

[@Ki_Adi_Mundi]

@@PraxesArdenn Who cares? Nothing's been original since Homer.

[@billjacobs521]

It's never been done well.

[@LordZordid]

Props to the casting team and director. It takes real talent to find the ugliest actors in the talent pool and convince the executives that such an ensemble of misfits is the right choice.

[@isavannierop8206]

Watching this video is honestly the best laugh ive had all week, this is so fucking silly

[@AngryPaprika]

The power of one crewmate, the power of 2 crewmate, the power of mannyyyyyyyyyyyy crewmates.

[@heinricho]

I feel my soul trying to leave its body as I watch clips from this Good God it's horrible!

[@Gorbz]

Look on the bright side - at least there were no slow-mo scenes of the characters farming Tribbles! XD

[@SomeGuy1234X]

The idea of a secret glowie black ops organization within Star Treks otherwise flowery optimistic world is an interesting concept that might of worked before all the reboots. Now it’s just more slop.

[@ProcrastPerfection]

I hate the concept. The optimistic tone of Star Trek is what makes it stand out in the Sci Fi genre.

[@hankrearden5460]

​@@ProcrastPerfectionI don't mind it. I think DS9 did it perfectly. I think DS9 skirted the whole gray area of Starfleet and the franchise that would have existed especially during the existential fight that Starfleet faced in the Dominion War. But the difference is they had competent writers and a showrunner who understood the importance of continuity between the shows and lore. That's why everything up to Enterprise feels connected and believable whereas everything since has been a shit show of chaos and nonsense.

[@BertoxolusThePuzzled]

Exactly. Section 31 can work but only if it is functioning as a separate faction from Star Fleet itself that essentially acts in an anti-hero or anti-villain role. They can be the cutting edge of humanity allowing the rest to live in their peaceful naivety, even against their own will.

[@hankrearden5460]

@ The best part of Section 31 is how little we knew about it. People thought Bashir and O'Brien were nuts because there was no records of Sloan, or his actions and his org. What they have done with this concept is literally unrecognizable from DS9. It's insane this crap gets greenlit.

[@ProjectRedfoot]

MIGHT HAVE* worked