Week 2 and Mental Health

[@matthewjenkins1161]

Takes real guts to do what you are doing, and those with ME like myself know exactly where you are coming from. Of course everyone with ME suffers a level of mental torture, but the difference between circumstantial and clinical depression, needs to be recognised. I've had periods of deep depression, but that is a natural emotion, when living with an unrecognised disability, leading to events, such as eviction, beyond personal control. It took me over 17, of what should have been my best years of my life, to finally be taken seriously and get a diagnosis. Mine started in February 1996 with Glandular Fever, that was an unexpected 21st birthday gift. At that point, I'd been in full time employment for 5 years, plus bar work evenings and weekends for 3 years. I'd not taken a single days sickness in all that time, until getting Glandular Fever and was signed off for just 7 days. After 7 days I went back to the GP to be told, "the symptoms you describe can go on for months, and you must return to work some time". She gave me another 4 days, before I was back in doing around 70 hours a week. Something inside had changed with that infection, and I never truly recovered from it. Initially my GP gave lectures about using the gym to release endorphins, etc, so I changed GP. My new GP listened at first, running multiple blood tests, but with those clear, drew the conclusion I must be depressed. Didn't seem to matter that I knew I wasn't, as in his eyes, the bloods don't lie. Time and time again I'd push for further investigation, but after so long it's like banging your head against a brick wall. For many years I just gave up even trying, as GP visits just took energy I didn't have, for no gain. For many years I could only work part time and then I started my own business, to work around my own limited capabilities. The latter half of 2012 even that was proving too much for me and I went through a load more tests, to be told all clear. In January 2013 I finally, as a grown man, balled my eyes own hysterically to my GP, as I finally had to quit the self employment I'd spent 4 years building up successfully, and finally was referred to King's Collage, London. Finally some recognition I thought, only to realise they treated it only as if it was a mental health condition. It was only just last year, that I finally got into the ESA support group! Now I'm all up for talking about the effects of ME on mental health, but I wouldn't want non-sufferers and medics, to get the wrong impression about ME. It is PHYSICAL, but understandably the frustration and lack of life control, will lead to depression. Depression can be clinical or circumstantial, and when circumstantial is part of the normal range of emotions. Thanks very much for your videos, and please don't let anything I've said be taken the wrong way, to put you off.

[@matthewjenkins1161]

To clarify, when I talk of circumstantial depression being part of the normal range of emotions, I am not belittling it. Circumstantial is the worst kind, if like me you lack the ability to change your circumstances. At least with clinical depression, there is hope that medication might help.

[@fightingm.e.7853]

Thanks Matthew. You're quite right. There are all kinds of depression. I'm going to be going into mine in more depth in a video for Invisible Illness Awareness Week, as there are many different factors that cause mine. Thank you for commenting :)