Weekend Update: Miss Teen USA Resigns, Surprise Ozempic Babies - SNL

Weekend Update anchors Colin Jost and Michael Che tackle the week’s biggest news like the WNBA allowing teams to travel by private plane, Kim Kardashian’s Met Gala dress, and a cruise ship worker attacking 3 people with scissors.
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#SNL #MayaRudolph #SNL49 #VampireWeekend

[@laalaa99stl]

That "passenger with rock" joke deserved a bigger laugh.

[@Torreyhuff]

Yup. the crowd is at a comedy show.. yet every week they seemingly don't understand the dynamics of a clever joke.

[@Hexon66]

No, it got exactly the reaction it deserved. Particularly with such a telegraphed punchline.

[@dangerfly]

At least Che didn't follow up with a pointless and unfunny remark like he always does.

[@DatDenDude]

Yeah… but the crowd was kinda weird. after that Ray J joke got a huge laugh, a rock, paper, scissors, seemed a bit lame to them

[@Mooonchild711]

💯 %

[@danielrasmussen2167]

The rock paper scissors joke was perfect.

[@bobbybaucom9440]

Thank you, I just got the joke.

[@davidhanna1655]

I don't know, only one in three people get it

[@Exasperaties]

Che's self satisfied smile after the kim k sextape joke sent me lmaoo

[@johnnydarling8021]

Kristi once gathered two of every animal onto a boat. There were no survivors.

[@jasonnstegall]

In other words, Kristi Noem IS THE DWRED PIWATE WOBERTS!

[@Senthiuz]

Therefore Kristi is more of a Liam than a Noah.

[@christinap-c]

@@SenthiuzOkay your joke is good!

[@clarafedde8674]

No, she however sharing the same fate as the Titanic

[@TheGiggleMasterP]

Most jokes that Che thinks bombed in the crowd made me laugh like crazy 😅

[@MyBiPolarBearMax]

EXACTLY

[@constellationorion8679]

Right? This audience needs to get over themselves

[@thl205]

he fumbled, it happens, no need to meatride

[@craigrussell3062]

He needs to embrace the Norm MacDonald spirit of Update, where there's millions of people watching at home, so who cares about the 200 randos they rounded up for the studio audience? Sometimes a joke bombing with them is its own best punchline.

[@mjacobs8139]

Too busy trying to impress the white people in the crowd. Makes US LAUGH AT HOME JESUS

[@laalaa99stl]

"A lot of people rely on Marvel movies to pay for the ferries they bought." 😁 That just needed a Pete Davidson and ScoJo cameo.

[@ishotmyboss]

You mean Count Chocula.

[@terrystorey]

Loved that joke. Clever af.

[@1st2nd2]

​@@terrystoreyI live under a rock. What was it referencing?

[@barney5583]

1st2nd2, scarlet Johanson who stars as a superhero in the marvel movies is Collins wife.

[@MoniB888]

@@barney5583 I caught that on my second watch of it. But I seriously can’t tell if they really bought the Staten Island Ferry or if it’s a joke aimed at them being *soooo* out of touch/being an outrageously 1%er problem?

[@Garrettdx1988]

Che's "failed" jokes are always the best

[@ZachedOut]

That Ray-J joke had me dying laughing. Reminds me of the old school SNL jokes from the 70s

[@drphot6050]

90"s

[@CinemaDemocratica]

My three all-time favorite Weekend Update moments: 3. "After defeating the St Louis Rams, star New England Patriots Quarterback Tom Brady was presented with the Superbowl MVP designation, which came with the awarding of a brand-new Cadillac Escalade. After being told of the prize, Brady was reportedly overheard saying, 'Wow! A Cadillac! But it's a pickup truck! That also changes into an SUV! You know who would really like that?!? Uh, nobody.'" 2. "Hollywood insiders are reporting that celebrity supercouple Ben Afflack and Jennifer Lopez have been linked to a potential remake of the classic motion picture CASABLANCA. Sources close to the project say the movie will be just *perfect* for people who loved the original, but wish it was terrible." 1. "In Milwaukee Wisconsin, a man allowed his eight-year-old daughter to take the wheel of his car, and an accident ensued that damaged seven other cars and injured six people. Which once again proves my theory: WOMEN CAN'T DRIVE."

[@nerfherder4284]

I absolutely ❤ Michael Che swinging for the stars and missing. Please never stop it is the funniest thing ever!!!

[@dangerfly]

You like his predictable and lame reactions after every single joke?

[@latarribell4152]

@@dangerflyhis reactions after his jokes are the best part. Go outside and pick some flowers.

[@dangerfly]

@@latarribell4152 Said no one ever...

[@kpkost]

@@dangerflyI also said it

[@AkinolaEmmanuel]

​@@dangerfly I third said it

[@zom8680]

That Kim K organ joke had me go DAYUM out loud 😂😂 well done Che

[@Juanchope_3]

Brittney Griner looks a lot like Pete Davidson in that picture

[@theronwright1276]

Body double

[@___beyondhorizon4664]

Did she sounded like a male from recent interview???

[@hoover728]

I thought it was for a few seconds.

[@finickybits8055]

What do you mean…in that picture?

[@Yamas258]

That’s my first thought

[@Kenzie_Hill]

Scissors -Rock joke was really good! Marvel -Ferry joke was a deep cut and I'm here for it 😂❤😁

[@eileensnow6153]

I don’t get the ferry joke 😭

[@electronsympathy]

@@eileensnow6153 So Jost and Pete Davidson are working on a join venture to turn a Staten Island Ferry into a nightclub. It's a project that's going to cost them $34 million. So what Jost is saying is that he's in too deep and needs his wife's Marvel movie money to afford it.

[@EuiHwanP]

@@eileensnow6153 Colin and Pete Davidson bought an old ferry (I think as an investment?) for a lot of money, and now he needs Marvel (aka his wife's work) movies for money

[@MM-ud1xf]

@@eileensnow6153Colin is married to Scarlett Johansson, who played Black Widow in the Avengers movies. Colin and Pete Davidson bought an old Staten Island Ferry and plan to turn it into some kind of entertainment venue. I assume those plan are costing big bucks.

[@ejwhite]

@@eileensnow6153 Colin Jost and Pete Davidson bought a Staten Island ferry, I guess their plan is to turn it into a floating restaurant or something. The joke is that it's being financed by Colin's wife.

[@nicholasgarrick8855]

Che' rock ,and scissors joke was pretty solid 😂.

[@dangerfly]

Everyone keeps complaining his lame remarks are getting old. Why won't he stop?

[@Kenzie_Hill]

💯 agree! 😂

[@rugr82day]

@@dangerfly , no, your opinion isn't shared by everyone. Not even by many, since most regular views watch just to see Weekend Update.

[@Sean.Vosler]

That dog quarry joke was top tier 😂

[@datingissuchadrag8461]

Sometimes it's even funnier when Michael thinks a joke bombed and laughs. Both he and Colin are great!

[@YaBoiJern757]

That Drake joke tho😂😂😂😂😂

[@Stormwern]

Explain please, I don't get it.

[@PapagenoX09]

I didn't get get it. Did Kendrick Lamar call him Miss Teen USA or something in the latest "diss-off?"

[@timjaeger6589]

@@PapagenoX09 no he called Drake a p*do

[@fam5451]

​@@PapagenoX09Called him a pedophile.

[@evtuxia]

@@StormwernDrake has been proved to prey on minors and date them once they’re 18

[@mariekastler5391]

"Ozempic Babies: the theme of the Met Gala."!!!!! 🏆

[@THGfan-vy8xc]

Michael Che wasn't kidding about this being one of his favorite shows. I haven't heard that many bangers in a row in a while

[@jamo3976]

Damn Che was really going for it tonight 😂😂

[@nilesefrancis9894]

Is it just me or have the audiences lately not been giving these two the love they deserve 😭

[@camila.c88]

THE CHALLENGERS JOKE LMAOO

[@kuskesh_haramzadeh]

I didn't get the reference 🤔

[@Zoomster-wu7if]

​@@kuskesh_haramzadehSame

[@svscared]

​@@kuskesh_haramzadehMe neither.

[@DaMorg3]

It’s a recent movie with Zendaya featuring what is apparently quite a threesome. 🤷‍♂️

[@Grogzu]

@@svscaredchallengers 2024 movie. It’s a 3-way reference. Not a well constructed joke relies heavily on a reference that’s not widespread

[@user-by6iq2we5c]

Colin admitting Scarlett is the bread winner

[@Vtarngpb]

Totally forgot about the ferry 😅

[@batgurrl]

Was anxiously awaiting the posting of the funniest part of SNL. Weekend Update even more hilarious than usual. Loved the way they slipped in a Kristi Noem joke

[@jregulatori4672]

SNL rarely makes me laugh out loud hard but that Ray J joke got me.

[@terencefluellen4820]

That scissors rock joke took me out bruh😂😂😂😂

[@kevinpotts123]

Micheal looking at the writers after the punchlines just makes this for me.

[@kevinpotts123]

@@katieorr3903 I'm sure it's writers/producers that he was in the writers room with and discussed if a joke would make it or not. Michael Ché is awesome.

[@robertowen8536]

I didn't even know Pete Davidson was in prison or the WNBA😅

[@shayboogie3682]

😂😂😂

[@gogofastful]

Pathetic

[@MJBever]

LORNEY MICHAELS: PLEASE UPLOAD THE ENTIRE WEEKEND UPDATE SEGMENT IN ONE PIECE!

[@canaisyoung3601]

They already did. If you just look.

[@liamwalsh4008]

Shit had me howling, I love dumbass jokes like that rock one 🤣

[@Niksg9424]

Great showing by both tonight but Che's chemistry with the crowd was killer.

[@badbiker666]

Let's face it, Che killed it this week! Although, I admit, I totally didn't understand the Teen Miss USA/Drake joke. Also, the look on Jost's face when complaining about the missng Marvel entry. Priceless!

[@JigInsane]

The Miss Teen USA/ Drake has to do with the nattle Drake has been in the last week or two with Kendrick Lamar, and being accused of prefering young ladies.

[@DJMarcO138]

Che's Ray J joke absolutely destroyed!!!!

[@mattmanley7118]

The Ray J joke 😅😅😅😂😂 dang!!

[@jaystreit3777]

Che killed it tonight!

[@Torreyhuff]

Do we need to bring back queue cards to tell the audience when a clever joke is told? they killed it!! 🤣🤣

[@batkat0]

Cue

[@lisajenkins4416]

Michael's looks to the audience are hilarious.

[@silence433]

2:22 God was I hoping for an "oops that's Pete Davidson" joke with the Brittney Griner picture.

[@daftrok]

Che is going full Norm McDonald and I couldn't be happier.

[@deementia6796]

Che has literally become Norm Macdonald, and I am definitely here for it!

[@cleverusername9369]

Except he literally hasn't...

[@Futuretense101]

The last joke was so wrong LMAO 🤣

[@genehenson8851]

That ferry joke got me.

[@kildidar]

i'm either dumb or i missed something. but im not to proud to admit i didn't get it. plz explain captain

[@rahgodbee1]

same i didn’t get it either

[@kildidar]

@@rahgodbee1 i googled and found it. ohhhhhh yeahhhh... i forgot colin and pete davidson bought a decommissioned ferry to fix it up. so they need colins wife scarlett johansson to be in marvel movies to be able to afford fixing it. lol. good joke

[@YensidBuckingham]

The Kardashian Ray J joke was *chef's kiss*

[@yetigonecrazy]

Che was on fire tonight

[@johnwayne7383]

Che was on 🔥 👏 👏 👏

[@alienmatters3106]

Michael Che is a beast. Just killing it.

[@dcmanno4]

Che killed it!

[@douglashenry6996]

Che has some big Chappelle energy tonight.

[@Jeffrey-ed8sz]

Che is on fire.

[@telavivjake]

Where do you find a rock on a cruise ship? I get the joke... but my brain can't wrap my head around a rock on a cruise ship...

[@AugustoValentini]

This might be my favorite show as well, Che lol I don't care if the jokes kinda bombed with the live audience, I never laughed so hard at a Weekend Update before

[@unloveableandre]

The Marvel joke was so subtle

[@smorris7713]

"with rock"😆😆😆👌🏼

[@RenatoG1848]

Ok, that Ray J joke won

[@dzinatars]

0:43 Is that Jimmy Carr laughing?

[@cbmtrx]

He's been on tour in the northeast so I'd say yeah

[@JennA-zz7yr]

The best jokes are the ones on ourselves. You both ROCK!

[@TheCrooksandCastle]

maya laughing at every joke is giving me life

[@TheFMHatter1986]

I didn't know what was Maya laughing

[@unloveableandre]

The KK joke with Ray Jay was great.

[@eamonnleyden7040]

Liam a good Irish name it mean strong willed and protector.

[@tyinva1212]

In the U.S., it means spoiled, whimpy little guy

[@evangeline6]

the staten island ferry was a sound purchase

[@dominicalor]

Michael che is the funniest dude in the whole show, I'm laughing my ass off every time they get quiet lol

[@brianvogelsong754]

This is ruthless, i think ill start my mornings with this

[@callmeshaggy5166]

These jokes are either visceral or dad joke book. There is no in-between.

[@LindaC616]

True

[@canaisyoung3601]

That's how Weekend Update's humor has always been, with the exception of Dennis Miller's, Norm Macdonald's, and Colin Quinn's. All they did was turn Weekend Update into their respective stand-up sets.

[@callmeshaggy5166]

@@canaisyoung3601 these two are the most Norm the segment has been since Norm.

[@haveyoumettess]

THAT DRAKE ONE TOOK ME OUUUUUTTTT 😭😭😭 thank god for Che

[@eddiencstate]

2:34 I didn't get that one. Is he a child molestor? Or does he sponsor the pageant? Or did he date a winner of the pageant? Does it reference a lyric in one of his spoken words with music? I don't care to look it up.

[@sparkythancztwise]

Colin, yeah it was "so dumb" but "by a passenger with rock" was the punchline so far in this Weekend Update that came closest to making my crack a real full smile. {Love tons of the jokes, just not the kind to make me laugh out loud or grin.} I guess I needed the sheer silly absurdity of that joke.

[@cranjismcbasketball2565]

The Scissors joke was Rock solid!

[@Steampunkguitars]

Seemed paper thin to me. 😉

[@garyvanliew2689]

Crushed by Ray J is wild.

[@jasondeaver2117]

Che with some deep cuts 😂

[@tylerhackner9731]

That challengers joke lol 😂

[@Tarantulisimo]

i love that Colin still references the ferry purchase

[@NitroGummyBear]

BRO Che KILLED it on this one 😂

[@johnnydarling8021]

Happy Mother's Day

[@apriljk6557]

Happy mother's day 🌺

[@tailoredteflon5738]

Che was on fire

[@papagrantits]

I laughed way too hard at the rock paper scissors joke

[@Tortilla.Reform]

Drake is catching strays, like Kristi Noem

[@JeffreyGillespie]

The inside joke about the ferry hit so many targets 😂

[@stephenfew3948]

Che is just turning into Norm Macdonald and I love it.

[@Cactuspo12]

Let Che cook!

[@mjacobs8139]

Michael Che was golden 😂

[@lucycarin]

These 2 can do the entire segment just them-and let the “guests” have a new segment🎉

[@PN_48]

Che killed it tonight!😂😂

[@karinak09]

That rock joke really got me 😂

[@rebellionpower4412]

1:10 when Michael Che has more balls than Netflix.

[@nerdsengage]

Pete should play Brittney Griner in a biopic

[@kayladawn]

I hope those dog jokes last for decades! She deserves to never live that down

[@michaelwagner6877]

I don't know why Michael thinks he's bombing these jokes over the last weeks. I appreciate the "oooohs", groans, and screams in shock. Cause there's always at least one person laughing in that crowd lol.

[@Shin-Blade]

Michael Che vs the audience again... 🤣

[@tamathafevs]

che on fire!

[@stinew358]

This week's jokes are fire

[@sparkythancztwise]

Can't believe how long it took me to put 2 & 2 together to get the ferry-Marvel punchline! 😂🤣😆

[@jackrollins2847]

My favorite show too che😂

[@kjamison5951]

A new vacuum technology to remove greenhouse gases from the atmosphere? Man, that’s gotta suck.

[@henrygalliher6574]

Golum's getting his own movie?!?!? Did we not learn our lesson after giving him his own game?

[@canaisyoung3601]

Not that many people played the game.

[@jlev1028]

Warner Bros never learns.

[@oscarfischer5966]

Passenger with rock Made me like the video

[@hickoryhippie]

Ray J was packing some heat tho

[@theresehopkins1581]

You guys never fail to deliver the laughs!!! Thank you!!! ❤❤😂😊

[@gnlilu6972]

This crowd was awful!!! Love 💗 you Michael Che! 🙌

[@davidhochstetler4068]

This is the best weekend update they’ve ever done

[@shahartley]

The Kim Kardashian/Ray J & Drake jokes...oof.

[@LindaC616]

Nah, it worked

[@NasXShady]

Che is crazy for that Ray J joke 😂 Edit: And the Drake one

[@drphot6050]

If they had a joke swap added this would've been the GOAT segment