Weekend Update: Ukraine Wins Eurovision, 7,000 NYC Rat Sightings Reported - SNL

Weekend Update anchors Colin Jost and Michael Che tackle the week's biggest news, like Mega Millions announcing the wrong winning number.
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#SNL #SelenaGomez #PostMalone #SNL47

[@laalaa99stl]

YOU get a rat! And YOU get a rat! Everybody gets a rat!

[@jessetorres8738]

I used to have 1 as a pet.

[@peterpretzington9669]

Tomathy Cruise is a Rat

[@Bonesince1997]

Absolutely Oprah

[@samarakeys7376]

kzbin.info/www/bejne/mKqrgo2lmbaooJo It’s finally here…

[@MissyGail4eva]

(Before this blows up) Congratulations.. 🤩 *Best Quote of the Day* 🤩 As it's 5:00am, and I still haven't been to sleep..just not certain *which* day.. 😉🤭

[@sophiemontecalvo7503]

Oh my goodness, the way Che said "Stabbings!" killed me, and Colin reluctantly announcing for everyone to look under their seats - these two are amazing

[@Revelian1982]

The bar is set fairly low for you I guess, huh?

[@MRMK24]

@@Revelian1982 who is your favourite comedians?

[@Revelian1982]

@@MRMK24 Bill Hicks, Eddie Izzard, Dave Chapelle, Chris Rock, Jimmy Carr, Joan Rivers, to name but a few.

[@waylonnicholson371]

The way Che said it really sounded like the way Pete Davidson would say it.

[@Mewse1203]

That "you had me at grandson" joke almost made me spit out my food 🤣😂

[@ShinRyojin]

The ways Colin says that body be bangin makes him sound like a middle age dad trying to act hip.

[@ninjachannel007]

That's exactly what he is.

[@canaisyoung3601]

@@ninjachannel007 Because he actually is a father and is in his 40s (he was born in 1982, and 2022 is the year everyone and everything born and established in 1982 turns 40).

[@CarlCampbellMusic]

That barbie joke 😂

[@jessetorres8738]

Well, have you ever seen an ugly Barbie doll?

[@samarakeys7376]

kzbin.info/www/bejne/mKqrgo2lmbaooJo It’s finally here…

[@CarlCampbellMusic]

@@jessetorres8738 that's true 😉

[@andrewodell4021]

That last joke with the Lottery and Lorne's office would have been better as a skit.

[@tkknows00]

it is a skit kzbin.info/www/bejne/nqHalqacgK9kd6s

[@canaisyoung3601]

Maybe if this were the last episode of the season.

[@cranjismcbasketball2565]

Okay, that Kevin Spacey joke was freaking hilarious! I never get tired of watching these two! XD

[@javiercarmona9796]

For some reason, whenever we see Collin committing to his jokes we see him enjoy himself and he makes it look like it's nothing, to have such a great delivery is just like breathing to him. It even has Michel cracking up.

[@jessehaaland7689]

These 2 are the best part of the show most of the time.i watch their bits more than anything.

[@billyeveryteen7328]

That lotto joke reminds me of when I was in college, and my buddy and I bought several lotto tickets, and we checked the website and thought we had won $5,000 USD. We were ecstatic and already planning what to do with the money, until we realized that those were actually the previous week's numbers and the website hadn't been updated yet.

[@EikottXD]

Rough.

[@samarakeys7376]

kzbin.info/www/bejne/mKqrgo2lmbaooJo It’s finally here…

[@kevinschultz6091]

Last time I played the Powerball (when it was really up there), I managed to impress myself by not getting ANY of the numbers, on 4 tickets.

[@LindaC616]

Awww...

[@markycypress8484]

You were stoned, weren't you?

[@Southernblonde1310]

I would like to see more of Colin embodying Oprah giving away rats.

[@mckernan603]

I would love to see Colin shit-canned and someone with comedic timing take over

[@juanw8836]

This has to be an AI typing right? No human being can type such a bad comment

[@stefanschleps8758]

Only 7,000?! Wow, the new mayor is doing a bang up job!

[@paulf.8651]

They’ll be on the endangered list soon!

[@jedinxf7]

they probably confused numbers for the rats joke and the stabbings in Central Park joke. city has become a real dump since the cops decided to stop doing their jobs.

[@alegendarywolf3278]

Not only that they are getting more aggressive, had one run at me walking to work early in the morning smh!

[@13blackcatzzz]

@@alegendarywolf3278 I had a huge one run across my foot at night in SoHo. I thought it was a cat.

[@13blackcatzzz]

That's what I kind thought. ONLY 7000?

[@GalactusOG]

Hearing Aid Joke: Carrot. Spacey Joke: Stick.

[@davidknightx]

That Kevin Spacey joke got me.

[@kanezwilliams2325]

Had Me ROLLING......HILARIOUS!!!!

[@colaboytje]

The Spacey joke was on point

[@flyingchong]

The one about the chimpanzee went from so wholesome to what the actual f*ck, Jost?!

[@BBradshawProductions]

That one rat sure gets around, 7,000 people report seeing it.😏🐀

[@eltravos99]

7,000 rat sitings...out of millions and millions and millions of New Yorkers seems low...

[@wwlittlejOfficial]

"As long as that body bangin." SO DAMN TRUE LADIES!!!!

[@Tempo_Gigante]

What happened with "peace of meat" and all that?

[@lcephoenix]

Man, timezones are a weird thing, considering that the ESC winner was announced in the early hours of Sunday and SNL is aired on a, well, Saturday! Didn't expect them to be this quick!!

[@RaymondHng]

Eastern Daylight Time is five hours behind Central European Summer Time. Ukraine was favorite weeks ago to win. But this joke was centered on the band's looks. So if they were not to have won Eurovision, the beginning of the joke could have been modified to "__th place finisher, Kalush Orchestra..."

[@lcephoenix]

@@RaymondHng Fair enough, you're right, there was almost no chance Ukraine _wouldn't_ win. It still surprised me, is all!

[@RaymondHng]

@@lcephoenix What is more challenging is when _SNL_ did a parody of the British royal family on the same day of the event. The costume department had to accurately reconstruct the wardrobe of several members within hours.

[@echarts3710]

There were like 4 hours between the end of Eurovision and the beginning of Saturday Night Live

[@lcephoenix]

@@echarts3710 yes, to think that the show isn't fully done 4 hours before it's aired seems wild to me. Then again, I saw a BTS video explaining that they'd sometimes still work on prerecorded sketches up until the minute it's aired. It was more of a "it happened on a Sunday and they aired it on a Saturday" thing that I was getting at though.

[@mr.joshua6818]

"as long as that body is banging" lol

[@jamestierney2531]

A while back, this duo reported on the City of Chicago having a plan to use cats to keep the rat population down. I believe that Colin made the quote, “ Da cats combat da rats, and dat’s dat.” Maybe NYC can follow Chi-town’s example. 😄Cheers…JT

[@skinnyboyy]

Shiddd them big azz NY rats will fawk them cats up 😂😂

[@jamestierney2531]

@@skinnyboyy Hey, GotWhip…I never thought about that, but on reflection, you may well be right! 😊. Cheers..JT

[@thejetgarza1]

please just post the full update in one video, i hate trying to guess the order of four separate uploads

[@baylinkdashyt]

The production office actually has been, of late; they just don't do it that way in the playlist, no matter how many times we ask...

[@michaelmorningstar8645]

Nobody cares.

[@baylinkdashyt]

@@michaelmorningstar8645 nope, it is largely just you who doesn't care.

[@mdcampbe]

“As long as that body bang…” 🤣 literally had to pause the video…no words…just none. 😂

[@penguincommunity6218]

Missed opportunity: When Colin said “Everybody look under their seat!”, a cast member should have shrieked “Oh my God!”

[@roseking8555]

I was actually thinking the same thing except it would have been an audience member screaming 🤣🤣

[@concinnus]

Because starting a panic in a theatre is famously a good idea.

[@penguincommunity6218]

@@concinnus C’mon. He says “Everyone look under their seat”, then someone shouts “oh my God!” and panic ensues? At SNL?

[@concinnus]

@@penguincommunity6218 Yes. People, not just elephants, have been known to panic over rodents. Plus all sorts of bugs, etc. And once a few people panic, other people panic without knowing what started it. Stampedes happen all the time without everyone involved knowing the cause.

[@penguincommunity6218]

@@concinnus 🙄

[@fatimamirza2100]

The jokes were quite risqué today. 😳How did the get past the Network censors? Not that I’m complaining. 😄 👏🏽👏🏽👍🏽👍🏽

[@canaisyoung3601]

It's almost the end of the season and no one cares.

[@Livlifetaistdeth]

Stabbings! That's the hardest I've laughed at SNL for years.

[@NewMessage]

Of course, Barbie's hands aren't great at sign language.

[@nancymorrison9978]

😂

[@LindaC616]

So true

[@DylanGarcia22]

The ending had me dying 🤣

[@aekelly]

Aww....so excited for the Eurovision shout out! Just wish it was longer!!! 💕💕💕💕

[@thenightranger987]

I thought the Barbie one would be something like, “So just know that all the other Barbies can hear you.”

[@coolboss999]

"She told me she was 18!" And that is how HIV started 🤣😭

[@pigs18]

The best part about Ukraine winning Eurovision is watching Brits lose their freakin' minds over it.

[@Jeffo193]

We're delighted! Couldn't be more thrilled to be so high up and there was no better country to come second to :)

[@pigs18]

@@Jeffo193 I wish all your compatriots felt the same. (But I imagine that the Venn Diagram of people who are upset about a singing competition forms a near perfect overlap with the group who can't understand why EU didn't grant every concession in Brexit.)

[@Debby901]

Best part of SNL 💙💙😂😂

[@Revelian1982]

Makes me never want to watch the rest of it, for sure.

[@yrvanmichel1446]

"It doesn't matter if you're def as long as that body bangin" lmbo.

[@Artnotforthesakeofart]

Hi. What does lmbo mean? Asking for a friend. No actually I am too old to know slang. Please explain. Thanks.

[@yrvanmichel1446]

@@Artnotforthesakeofart (laugh my butt off). For those of us that dont want to curse

[@Artnotforthesakeofart]

@@yrvanmichel1446 thanks 👍🏼

[@Herowebcomics]

These jokes were so fun! "Which is why I had to go t Loran's office and un quit!"

[@ImagineReason]

Wow, they must be referring to the NY Times article that has Che talking about thinking about quitting for the last five years.

[@YouTubeCensor]

We can handle the full six-minute clip, SNL!

[@coder0xff]

More ads, more $$$

[@tylerhackner9731]

Everybody gets a rat! Lol

[@henrikhyrup3995]

Barbie with....hearing aids...? Does that mean....THAT BARBIE HAVE BEEN ABLE TO HEAR US ALL THESE YEARS???

[@LindaC616]

😆

[@LindaC616]

Elf on rhe Shelf sketch EVERY week...

[@marias6583]

Loool good point

[@saaketh83]

STABBINGS!!! That was classic Che lol

[@billyllewis]

0:07 Spot on! 🤣

[@sekenamcmurren2217]

This was hysterical!😂

[@ericksoto1063]

You had me at grandson! 💀💀💀

[@centralvalleyreptileexpo]

I don't care who you are, that Oprah joke was perfection. Lol

[@JoeVideoed]

Ironic that I find out about the Eurovision winner from SNL. Congrats to Ukraine for the victory.

[@benzaiten933]

same here but we all know their musical talents might not have been the whole reason why they won.

[@ByddinRhyddidCymru]

@@benzaiten933 could’ve not shown up and still won

[@92RedRevolver]

UK came second. It was a wild night!

[@Revelian1982]

The Ukranian act could have just walked on stage and farted into a mic and would still have won. One of many reasons people don't take that competition seriously.

[@chrissiek8706]

Watched yesterday in a pub, bartender ordered everyone to vote for them, 😅😂 and you do not argue with a girl pouring you 😂 Maybe not the best best in a musical sence, but I'd put them in my top5 from that evening. Their other song, the folk one, that still can make me cry... Everyone will get back to their relatively safe homes, these guys will get some beer with their president, done their uniforms and will get back to beating them damn orks back to russia... And i am glad they did not let us all comfortably forget that, though Eurovision tried to weirdly cenzure them (the f was with not giving microphone, or showing German team instead when everyone was presented once more after singing)

[@InZainUK]

I thought Colin’s Barbie joke was going to be along the lines of ‘The new Barbie with hearing aids was announced, Of course, Hearing AIDs is what Mike Pence thinks happens if you listen to gay people.’

[@canaisyoung3601]

Hey, that would have worked too. But casual sexism wins this time around.

[@bjv93]

The "you had me at grandson" has left me completely incapacitated.

[@neojd]

0:37 GOLD 😂

[@BrandonHardaker]

Jost and Che: Awesome!

[@amytrapani4452]

They filmed the Kevin spacey movie in my home town in Georgia. I was supposed to be in an extra in a scene with him, but something came up last minute and i couldn’t make it. It’s supposed to be a pretty good movie really.

[@shahartley]

lol at the rats one. I guarantee you that there's more than 7000 of them. Much, much more. NYC is like something out of "The Pied Piper of Hamlin".

[@jackbusiness7879]

Ahhh so glad for the internet, KZbin, snl and the subscription button. These are so refreshing 🫠

[@melhope]

So that Kevin Spacey movie is the long awaited sequel to 1956's The Conqueror, with John Wayne playing Genghis Khan?

[@My2cents.]

We’re caught up playing the impassioned protagonist in our Subjective Narrative of Self🎈

[@SlyHikari03]

The Eurovision joke was gold.

[@ankoranko8736]

That was 2 minutes i wish i can take back, LoL

[@freddiemolinajr.8397]

Good sketch 👌 👍

[@irvingsherwood1234]

Don't quit Che!

[@canaisyoung3601]

What's the point? He's probably going to leave anyway. He had a good run.

[@WaitingtoHit]

I don’t understand the desire to live in a city that’s overflowing with rats.

[@pezjerk6334]

They have REALLY good pizza

[@WaitingtoHit]

@@pezjerk6334 I mean . . . yeeah, I know that. My Italian grandparents grew up there. The rats are still a dealbreaker, though.

[@marias6583]

The Barbie joke was the best🤣🤣

[@anothergenericgamer_]

0:31 yoooo 😂

[@bepowerification]

Wonder if there will be a please dont destroy video this week..

[@stevenandreasen1553]

spacey "so what are the perks about this movie?" Movie "You said you weren't going to perk anything. "

[@blackice8824]

Just 7000 ??? We're losing our rats ???

[@lonewolffisherman7092]

chimpanzee joke had me dying

[@bigchris327]

So with all them rats no one has spotted Master Splinter lol

[@AirQuotes]

That grandson joke 💀

[@spartacusforlife1508]

7,000 rat sightings? Boy rudi guiliani is out and about a lot lately

[@BelleTolles]

On fire yet again.

[@RebeccaPaige]

I thought the cats were supposed to combat the rats and that was that.

[@InAHollowTree]

Nah, they had to release the cats to catch the rats, and then the dogs to catch the cats, then likely some gorillas to catch the dogs, and so on.

[@henrik5284]

I love these guys 😃

[@thisistheaccountname]

1:23 Duuuuuuuude.

[@young.nugget]

weekend update saves the show once again

[@canaisyoung3601]

Where have you been? Weekend Update has always been SNL's safety net for humor, whether it's during the good seasons or the bad ones (with Norm Macdonald's Weekend Update being the prime example, though Dennis Miller's Weekend Update was the first example of a Weekend Update segment that was the highlight to a wildly mediocre and uneven season [the 1985-1986 season]. The book "Live From New York: The Uncensored History of Saturday Night Live" even said so).

[@brooklyn1116]

Happy Monday 🎉💐🎈🎉🥑 Lynn

[@breiffen5526]

7000? There's no way that number is that low

[@jimspace]

Wow. I didn’t even smile

[@SeldimSeen1]

Kalush is fantastic. I subscribed to their channel. All the music is amazing.

[@Tempo_Gigante]

Has anybody won a lottery since COVID started? It feels like they keep ALL the money.

[@johndii2194]

Turns out it was the same rat seen at the same time by 7,000 people.

[@jonesq63]

The Barbie joke was great

[@outlawbillionairez9780]

7,000 rats?!? Didn't think there were that many Republickins in New York.

[@skipads5141]

7,000? 7,000 people can fit a city block in NYC. That seems like an all time low in the city.

[@infinitelytheheartexpands]

0:19 XANADU???

[@zainnee]

7,000 report? WTF- you’re in NYC taking the subway. Did people forget about them during quarantine and remote working. Get use to them because they’re not going anywhere any time soon. They’ve been out in the streets also before Covid, bigger and noisier. They’ve shrunk in size since Covid because people aren’t out feeding them or leaving left over food.

[@canaisyoung3601]

Apparently, yes.

[@tomitstube]

the oklahoma joke was well earned. i was born there and wouldn't go back for a million dollars.

[@empmaximus1]

Look under your seat!! Or in the writers room...

[@iamupsidedown5657]

7/10 the way he says stabbings

[@rochester212]

Yo New Yorkers, u never heard of cats before?

[@Marijuanifornia]

The 14-minute 1942 US Department of Agriculture video *Hemp For Victory* is the key to reducing pollution, replacing fossil fuels, ending deforestation and stopping climate change. There is an official .gov link to the film from the US National Archives. It's been public since 1990.

[@arkady714]

7,000 rat sightings? They have to be kidding. Nine years I commuted on the subway and rare was the day that I didn't see a bunch of those furry critters scampering along the tracks.

[@benzaiten933]

but did the wrong lottery numbers match up with someone? that'd be really disappointing.

[@PeterSedesse]

Why did he use the janitor... When che was sitting right there

[@tuckerbowen4626]

fuuuuuuuck. i KNEW someday we might see the Mel Gibson-style resurgence of Spacey...

[@markalexander3659]

I never noticed before how much Kevin Spacey looks like Hitler sans mustache

[@markalexander3659]

I'd nice that Ukraine won, but if I were the orchestra I'd feel kinda bad...like KNOWING you won because of the war and not your talent.

[@chunkyhoey8649]

What??"It doesn't matter if you're deaf. So long that body is banging?!"😂🤨

[@marias6583]

It’s pointing out the hypocricy of Mattell (the company that makes the Barbie doll). For decades they have made dolls with a super thin body and huge boobs, promoting unrealistic beauty ideals, and now they want to be all inclusive and promote acceptance lol

[@nomorebushz]

I got a rat!

[@dredgerivers7730]

1:22 Line: On a completely unrelated note, the Zoo's janitor thought for sure she was eighteen.

[@Buttersplaysgames]

Why are there no please don’t destroy skits from the last two weeks? That’s the only ones I like