Tom Cruise, Fish "Lover" - Tales From the Internet

[@JustinWhangYt]

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[@HarryBuddhaPalm]

Hey, Whang, I was one of the winners of the contest you posted not long ago. I'll think of you every time I use my prize.

[@CaelumTheWolf]

It hilarious you wanted to watch goodfellas cause at least in Minnesota it’s available on Hulu

[@lanceuppercut8220]

It's Xenus paradox, if Tom Cruise brings a fish into the bathroom and no one sees him fuck it did he really fuck it? It's a Scientology thing.

[@karldammann]

I fucking LOVED this one dude! LPOTL and Whang! in the same video, epic!

[@RobleViejo]

Tom Cruise is part of the Scientology Cult, one of the most EVIL and DANGEROUS Cults for Humanity. They've been caught doing Human Sacr*fices. If the Devil is real then it has undoubtedly spread its tentacles all over Hollywood and USA 🐍

[@jadethenidoran]

"I thought you said Troy McClure was dead." "No, I said he sleeps with the fishes."

[@samuelwarren9968]

Jade, please, I just ate a whole plate of dinga-magoo.

[@Frnk_3]

BRUH I THOUGHT THAT TOO

[@lowenergyvideos4658]

Ahhhhhh got in before me XD

[@None-Trick_Pony]

FUCK YOU, I WAS GOING TO TYPE THAT!

[@p-__]

My farts are better than Whang’s farts 💨

[@thoughtfuldevil6069]

This is the blackmail that Scientology has on him.

[@gingivitis9148]

Can't wait for the ex Scientology community spill. Tho if true I seriously doubt it was drugs tho, anything you'd need to buy through a fish, tom would be morally against.

[@poweroffriendship2.0]

I'll never forgive the Scientology for what they did to South Park's Chef.

[@herelieskittythomas3726]

Fruity little club

[@Dang3rMouSe]

Oh they have WAY more...

[@thoughtfuldevil6069]

@@Dang3rMouSe What else do you think they have?

[@Nordisk11]

What being a scientologist does to a mf

[@Infodumptruck]

His auditing session went REALLY weird

[@MarquisDeSang]

Scientology is based, that is why THEY hate it so much.

[@Infodumptruck]

@@MarquisDeSang keep your TRs in, thetan.

[@Infodumptruck]

@@MarquisDeSang keep your TRS in, thetan

[@Infodumptruck]

@@MarquisDeSang keep your TRs in

[@tinstrings6312]

Don't knock eating a raw fish while perched on the toilet seat like Gollum while you take a dump until you've tried it.

[@disgruntleddude]

I hear it's all the rage in France.

[@romaindanze1512]

@@disgruntleddude I can confirm, I'm even doin' it right now

[@ryanfreedman6348]

What’s “Tom Cruise”, precious?

[@baseddoggie]

This honestly seems more in character for him

[@charion1234]

​@@disgruntleddudeI thought you meant florida and immediately remembered the woman with a fish.

[@outbacksteakhouseofficial]

There’s no rumor that can ever be stranger than Tom cruise’s actual life

[@ErieRosewood]

his sister stole my great grandparents ac unit and that's a true family history story I learned when I was 14.

[@SergioLopez-bb4dc]

@@ErieRosewoodproof??

[@JamesLawner]

@@ErieRosewood Tom Cruise has a sister?!

[@ErieRosewood]

@SergioLopez-bb4dc what proof do you want?? my great uncle confirming it happened? the missing ac unit? why does everyone always want proof? his sister and my great uncle were in the same year in culinary school. Philadelphia in the 80s. before Tom cruise was even big. that's how they knew each other. and she stole his parents ac unit. this is a fact. what do you want from me, a police report?

[@Grimmm233]

@@JamesLawner he has 3

[@kamo7293]

the image of a celebrity walking into the toilet with a whole sea bass and coming out without it makes me laugh. I just imagining him having devoured it like a caveman

[@dr.altoclef9255]

That’s why he went into the bathroom. No cameras. It’s the only place he can be one with his caveman nature anymore.

[@squelchotron8259]

Suits Cruise.

[@crisptomato9495]

Fuck adrenochrome, fish slime is where it’s at.

[@MisterOfu]

Can confirm. My great great grandma saw Tom Cruise buy an unwrapped fish at a Vilnius fish market in 1876.

[@rahimirahim1107]

So he a Vampire now 🤣

[@farewelltimetofly]

​@@rahimirahim1107 A pescatarian vampire!

[@CossackGene]

VILNIUS MENTIONED

[@tarantula183]

@@rahimirahim1107 Yes. There's a whole movie about it.

[@alexvanpelt494]

we might be relatives

[@ivenothumbs]

I can just imagine Tom Cruise sitting in his expensive leather chair watching this bolting upright and screaming they called me a" fish fucker"

[@Solo_Sessums]

"Guy who works at the aquarium says for fifty bucks he lets him in the back to have his way with a sturgeon."

[@p-__]

My farts are better than Whang’s farts 💨

[@0neDoomedSpaceMarine]

Like a sturgeon...

[@ThisUserNameWasNotTaken]

​@@0neDoomedSpaceMarinetouched for the very first time

[@jaygrizzel4883]

I AM A STURGEON!

[@geckoo9190]

As long as its not the guy at the restaurant.

[@The_Texorcist]

He went bass to mouth.

[@Infodumptruck]

Underrated comment ^

[@SilverbackGorilla69]

Ass to trout

[@mattstevenson1334]

Hahahaha

[@meredithgrubb4497]

😂😂😂😂😂

[@Nocturnal_Mee]

YOU NEVER GO BASS TO MOUTH 😂

[@compatriot852]

Fish Lover? I thought that was Kanye West...

[@nik07nik]

Not fair, everyone loves to put fishsticks in their mouths.

[@dismo021]

Gay-fish yall😂

[@BIastProcX]

@@nik07nik You're a gay fish

[@jacksonguillory8114]

​@nik07nik i hate that i got the reference.

[@rawanalahmed8086]

Does Kanye f[]cked a fish ?

[@damionbaxter4912]

Hiding drugs in fish is a way to prevent drug sniffing dogs from finding them.

[@isaacwismer7567]

But not xrays.

[@Nylak-Otter]

It also doesn't work. At all. 😂

[@damionbaxter4912]

@Nylak-Otter I know doesn't which is why I prefer the he's banging them theory. Easier to find a fuck fish then a crack fish.

[@sharedexperiences2773]

Won't stop the drug cats, though .

[@Nylak-Otter]

@@sharedexperiences2773 But they'll just give a positive indication on every fish, so every fish will need to be searched. Cat: "Why yes, this fish does smell fishy. We must...inspect it more closely."

[@seantheguy1391]

So thats why scientology was opposed to that aquarium being built in Clearwater.

[@lymarie1974]

?

[@kitkatboard]

@@lymarie1974 Tom Cruise is a scientologist. I guess he would've been too distracted by the fishes if the aquarium had been built.

[@seantheguy1391]

@@lymarie1974 like 10 years ago there was a dispute between the City of Clearwater, Fl and the church of Scientology about an at the time proposed aquarium. I think the church lost and the aquarium ended up being built. But the church of Scientology wanted to buy the land the city was selling to the aquarium and tried to get it shutdown.

[@lymarie1974]

@@seantheguy1391 Oh, thank you so much for answering back. I had no idea.

[@p-__]

My farts are better than Whang’s farts 💨

[@gdtyra]

It's funny you cite "black clothes men" as a fake Chinese accent phrase because I learned from my Chinese wife that the Men In Black franchise is called "Black Clothes Men" in Chinese.

[@paulgordon6949]

It's like it was written in English, translated into Chinese, and then re-translated back into English

[@thegodofpez]

Fishin’ Impossible.

[@RobotacularRoBob]

All he wanted was a few good fish…

[@elegantdisarray]

👏

[@AndyNapierrr]

A Few Good Bream

[@chalkbodyoutline]

Herring McGuire

[@lestatsgirlypop]

interview with the fish molester

[@HereForTheComments]

It just raises my spirits to see Whang having a genuine laugh at that cheesy fake Chinese grammar.

[@FishMcFish420]

As a fish, I am very worried. I finished the video. As a fish, I can confirm I have never been handled by Tom Cruise.

[@killzinshadows3767]

Shure you haven't buddy 😂

[@FishMcFish420]

@@killzinshadows3767 So far.

[@Davivd2]

Sounds like somebody was forced to sign a pretty hefty non disclosure agreement.....It's OK. You're safe now. Tell us where the A+ list, mostly movie actor touched you.

[@Ronam0451]

You're a catfish

[@TheMightyShrimp]

Dont worry the crustacean community will help you staying safe 🦀🦐🦞💪

[@xepharnazos]

"Mostly" movie actor, yes. We mustn't neglect the episode of Fallen Angels he directed in 1993.

[@fx7105]

LOL

[@solidchocolate2884]

Mistook this for fallen angels 1995 and got so terribly confused

[@kbbrown8154]

A + list movie actor, even.

[@omarolmosstudios7060]

Wait Tom cruise is a gay fish?

[@paincalledliving]

Fish sticks dude...fish sticks.

[@annomyous1]

​@@paincalledliving fish Dicks like the store 😂

[@guyanomaly]

yes :)

[@annomyous1]

Whang sucker fish 🍆 🐟

[@JohnDoe-wq5eu]

Him and Kanye we all know this.

[@honeyswann]

Whang losing his shit over the fake Chinese accent writing for the Blind Item made me laugh so much 💀

[@caucasoidape8838]

I love all that contributed to this bit.

[@Skyler0550]

I thought Tom Cruise was only into Tom Cruise

[@nicklafleur7620]

Oh no, he fucking loves Kate Holmes. He made sure Oprah and her audience understood that

[@Infodumptruck]

He's also into Captain Miscavige

[@Detox2021]

Back in the early 2000s I was part of the key grip crew on a Tom Cruise film being filmed in NY city. We were told that we wouldn't ever see Mr. Cruise because his parts were filmed on a closed set. During this time I was on a diet trying to lose a few pounds. I had just started the canned tuna diet. One day during a lunch break I sat outside the sounds stage to eat lunch. I opened the can of tuna and within 2 minutes a large man in a black suit approached me asking to purchase my can of tuna for $50 dollars. He wanted to make sure I hadn't eaten any or added anything to it. I first rejected the offer and he bummed it up to $75. This happened on several occasions. A couple weeks later I noticed a bunch of cats hanging around one of the actors trailers and that same big guy in the black suit standing outside. The rumor was that the trailer beloned to Tom Cruise. I'm not sure what the deal is but best believe that guy loves his fish.

[@mrmrdoor9256]

"I opened the can of tuna and within 2 minutes a large man in a black suit approached me" Is he a cat?

[@trash_bender420]

"A+ list, mostly movie actor" There's no way all of those posters use that exact phrase casually lmao

[@elegantdisarray]

Thank you. The more times he said it, the stranger the phrasing sounded to me.

[@CantTellYou]

In my mind, the “Church” of Scientology was behind all of these during a time when Tommy C was threatening to leave them

[@0neDoomedSpaceMarine]

@@CantTellYou Not implausible, they're backhanded.

[@trash_bender420]

@@CantTellYou that's very believable

[@WDC_OSA]

@@CantTellYou Doubtful. They are vicious, but they are extremely protective of Tom Cruise. Their dictator David Miscavige is enamored with him specifically, and their spy wing attempts to document basically any gossip about him and find its source. They've likely already started a writeup on this video, even though it brings nothing new to the table and doesn't accuse Tom Cruise of anything.

[@MannyBrum]

"Give it to us raw and wr-r-r-r-riggling." -unknown actor

[@Humongous420]

Tom's favorite GWAR song is FISH FUCK!

[@Capnsensible80]

He liked to get down on the Cuttlefish of Cthulhu

[@SovietMOB]

If it wasn’t for Beavis and Butthead I would have no idea who or what Gwar is!!!

[@jermicidal7506]

Short Songs For Short People

[@necrotic-bone]

need a hat that says “fish want me, women fear me”

[@bumbozambumbazebulon6738]

😂 Pshop of Tom wearing this should've been the thumbnail here

[@Humongous420]

He does hisown stunts and does his own fish

[@atulyabharadwaj2279]

😂😂

[@lionshorts1174]

The phrase "A+ list mostly movie actor" will now be living in my head 'til the day I die.

[@kingpotato7183]

Seriously. Thats such a strange thing to say hahahahah They could literally had just said A list movie actor.

[@trottyong]

Scientology just keeps getting weirder and weirder…….

[@Infodumptruck]

The fish need auditing

[@daemonsilver3304]

He's purging his thetons. This is some weird ass exorcism, not sex.

[@milkqt666]

It is a cult after all

[@redjirachi1]

I was thinking Posadism but they've got more of a dolphin thing

[@awesomesauce5974]

​@@milkqt666It is more like a criminal organization than anything.

[@DonMyers29497]

I imagine the guy sounding like the City Wok guy when wrote that Email. TAKA ORDER PREAZE

[@humanbeingfromearth]

YOU KNOCK DOWN MY SHITTY WALL?+

[@HellSentMe918]

Goddamn mongoreannzzz

[@t.tnetwork8654]

Bro thought he was the deep

[@Asillyhobo]

I've been wondering now if those bits were in reference to this blind item lmfao

[@incredibleflameboy]

Blind item 4 is definitely bullshit. I'm m a profoundly deaf lipreader and theres no way they could lipread from across a street and you definitely wouldn't get a word like fish without context, there are just too many variables of what it could be.

[@GhostlyDogg]

What a coincidence. Earlier today I was fascinating my family with "Tom Cruise middle tooth"

[@disgruntleddude]

I'm starting to think our Tommy might not be human...

[@chocobear4078]

I never realized how off center his teeth are until you

[@lestatsgirlypop]

​@disgruntleddude6105 I think this "tom cruise" character might be an alien and his real name is fuckin gneep gnarp or some shit

[@gingivitis9148]

Eh middle teeth is just another superpower you get when you go clear, perfectly normal.

[@drewgoin8849]

Can someone please explain to an ignorant Whang! fan?

[@kingyachan]

The truth of this is probably that there was never any submissions and every one of those was written by the same person who works at the magazine, and its just their job to make up random rumours that could vaguely be about any celebrity and for whatever reason the fish story was a hit with readers so they just rolled with it

[@0neDoomedSpaceMarine]

Most likely.

[@shannongerbes]

Sounds like something TC would say

[@benbaggen2375]

So...if Tom comes out as gay, whoever had to pay him 20m better sue tf out of him 😂

[@TrulyLoathsome]

Mr Cruise once came to my house. I do not want to say what he did to my goldfish, but Bubbles hasn't swam right ever since that day.

[@gretacook4612]

Goldfish abuse hot-line😂

[@JoeyJ0J0]

Hi I am Tom Cruise You may remember me from such movies as Top Gun and Top Gun 2

[@frenchtoast2319]

Lol

[@rebel6301]

sounds legit enough, so tell us mr. cruise, did you have sexual relations with that fish?

[@shannongerbes]

There was a top gun 2?

[@DogCatLady2004]

And Kim Kardashian is my great grandpa.. nice try.

[@frenchtoast2319]

@@DogCatLady2004 /whoosh

[@LtPepperDimples]

My favorite internet people coming together: the Last Podcast Network and Whang. It's truly beautiful

[@plaguedoctorapothecary]

Page 7 represent! 😂🤘

[@junkiejackflash]

Right?

[@joshanderson9581]

Holdenators HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

[@dianaconde4750]

LPOTL gang!! 🤘🤘🤘

[@ElaineClush]

Isn't this the plot of Shape of Water

[@Keznen]

The plot of that movie actually shares eerie similarities with a case where a woman had relations with a dolphin (which he initiated) during an experiment to try and teach him English. Though this case took a sad turn; when the experiment ended and the woman left, the poor dolphin was distraught and took his own life by drowning himself.

[@marcodaddario3965]

Guillermo del Toro also has a lot to explain.

[@chocobear4078]

​@@Keznenuh what?!?!

[@Keznen]

@@chocobear4078 Look up Peter the dolphin.

[@Thunderblock7889]

​@@Keznen"Hey Batman, I caught a little Palafin"

[@reduxmod9178]

Hi I'm actor Tom Cruse. You may remember me from such films as I fly a jet and The best drinks mixer in town.

[@SussyPoster69]

Bro thought he was Troy Mcclure 💀

[@necro-esque666]

Haven't even started the video yet, just knew this comment would be here

[@hellbentcentaur]

I heard he sleeps with da fishes

[@mava1559]

Rest in peace, Phil Hartman.

[@birdoven5754]

Please, no! I just ate a whole plate of dingamagoo.

[@SussyPoster69]

This is just further proof that the Simpsons writing staff are all oracles that can see into the future

[@El_Reno_Ghostbusters]

So... not only is Tom Cruise a scientologist, but also sleeps with the fishes? Wow, this proves that hes gone off the deep end of the pool.

[@sunflowersoundsofficial4221]

watching justin lose it at the fake chinese accent in post was the lol i needed today

[@Vampress09]

I just wanna say "Anne U Rism" is such a great username.

[@DeathbyProxy]

I like to watch Whang's videos whilst eating dinner, as a nice little try-not-to-throw-up challenge

[@Calvin_Coolage]

Same. I haven't lost yet.

[@sexygirlmax2019]

holy shit a death by proxy comment

[@DeathbyProxy]

@@sexygirlmax2019 I'm everywhere :)

[@We_Are_All_Vultures]

The whang diet

[@ErieRosewood]

my family has personal beef with the cruises. Tom cruises sister stole my great grandfather's ac unit and hand truck. he never forgave them til the day he died. now I carry on that legacy. I hate the cruise family.

[@MrBurtbackerack]

This reminded me of when crows and ravens pass grudges down through their family if someone has wronged them. Their children will continue to stalk and pester those who have wronged their family for eternity!

[@jonson116]

As a German I cried at "Das GoodFellas"

[@MiltonGagliardi]

To me is more believable to think that Tom Cruise just likes to eat raw fish in public bathrooms. That would explain a lot of things.

[@themoley91]

Who remembers the "Tom Cruise kills Oprah" YTMND fad?

[@grabbity]

Still have the lightning and Bodies by Drowning Pool stuck in my head from a knockoff haha.

[@sexygirlmax2019]

the edited clips of him being manic making it look like hes attacking oprah are my favorite

[@thedarkaspie]

Fun fact.. fish have what's called Pharyngeal teeth.. as well as gill rakers and rough patches on their tongues that are sand paper like. a lot of pharyngeal teeth are more like grinding sand paper as well and are used as a means to grip and pull food down their throats.. In predator fish LIKE the Sea Bass this is more pronounced and very few fish do not have them Like the Sturgeon or Pipe fish. For people who fish and hold them by their lips they get what is commonly called bass thumb. It's where the tiny teeth around the mouth and on pads across the tongue will literally sand paper the top layer of skin on your thumb from holding the fish while you unhook it or holding for a picture. So what people are insinuating he does with them would be the equivalent of using an 80 grit sandpaper flesh light.. That's a level of masochism that even Albert Fish would wince at.

[@deborahlester4018]

I thought the same thing. I've had my thumbs in some bass mouths (in a purely not prurient way), and it's rough!

[@LonHunKoc]

Tom Cruise must love fish sticks.

[@kr-pm1xg]

Yeah.. ...he likes "fish-sticks" in his mouth.

[@bigghoss762]

What if Tom Cruise was just buying a Phish CD and this whole thing is just a horrible misunderstanding?

[@bigghoss762]

To be clear, I totally think he fucked the Phish CD. I mean phucked.

[@NaCk210]

I was waiting for Troy McClure to be mentioned throughout the whole video.

[@michael-dy8hf]

the veiled statue behind whang looks suspiciously like a reproduction of a statue at my local art museum. i haven't been to that museum in a while, so the part of me that still wants to believe in santa as an adult has decided that whang simply stole the statue from my local museum and took it halfway across the country to his apartment in nyc to be part of his youtube background.

[@unlikelygamer]

Nah it was gifted to him, obviously. For his outstanding contributions to society.

[@benmcreynolds8581]

Okay devil's advocate: If he Was into "this" why would he ask for it to not be wrapped up, proceed to go to the restroom and them come out without the fish.. Why would he do this in a PUBLIC place when u are this big of a celebrity? Makes no sense?

[@bumbozambumbazebulon6738]

Another theory. Maybe 🐟 in the (public) bathroom is Cruise's "canary in a coal mine" for privacy. He does it frequently as a *intentional* - if random and utterly bizarre - test to be spotted and track the repercussion later, if any. One of the ways he will periodically verify how well Scientology's teams and extended connections are shielding his personal life from unwanted rumours. If his fish thing reaches mainstream media he has evidence they are failing him on their promises, their top-of-the-pyramid level contract. If so, then Cruise gives himself "permission" to break contract and leave the church. Maybe this is what being the ultra alpha prime Scientologist is: not only *not* having to fear blackmail from public disclosure e.g. leaks of a scandal (like lesser echelon Scientologists fear) but the written assurance that the L. Ron's Church and teams (including their connections in the intelligence services) will shield you from any and ALL *future* unwanted rumours. Maybe Cruise was promised full of control of his reputation, of how he is publicly perceived, in perpetuity, no matter what he does. 😶‍🌫️

[@bumbozambumbazebulon6738]

Then again, it's Tom Cruise. NUTHIN' WILL FULFILL THAT FEELIN' OF A GILL ❤🐟

[@laurisaarinen1126]

I don't know why i'm losing it at "A+ list mostly movie actor" written over and over again 😂

[@RolRetro]

I read “fish diddler” and clicked on the video immediately

[@mw9688]

….me too… i am seeking treatment before i dare go near a seafood market. The lure is so tempting.

[@caucasoidape8838]

I could totally see a person being made to dress like a blowfish, and make that "ugh ugh" sound.

[@RolRetro]

@@caucasoidape8838 I genuinely can’t stop laughing at this reply 😭

[@danielleclark-zack864]

The most unrealistic part of this whole story is someone using the word "piqued" correctly.

[@MrSTVR]

You gotta do the Richard Gere gerbil story sometime

[@themoley91]

"There was talk of gerbils" - Mickey Rooney

[@jewtubesucks666]

I hear they have an exhibit about that at the Richard Gere Museum

[@007megaoof]

@@jewtubesucks666which is a side piece at the aviation center

[@alicetremea1798]

New theory! He just wants the FRESHEST fish liver oil and bites it off the fish itself. I actually can see him doing that, I think his ex-wife ate her own placenta. Sounds like new age woowoo to me.

[@dr.altoclef9255]

Then he just discards the fish once he’s gotten what he wants. I’m of the theory that he sits like Gollum on the toilet seat and like devours the fish from the head to the tail, growling and gnashing his teeth and snorting.

[@Xokoy]

The thing is, that the people who make shows like the Simpsons are in those circles enough that they know things. It's why Family Guy "predicts" all kinds of weird celebrity stuff that years after the episode where they made a joke about it turns out to be true (probably the best example was with that guy from House of Cards whose name escapes me right now). They're not predicting anything, they're mixing in the odd thing that they're privy to about that industry among a bunch of jokes in their comedy cartoon.

[@WarDragon72345]

Kevin Spacey?

[@MrChristo93]

Kevin Spacey

[@frenchtoast2319]

Kevin spacey rumors were around for at least a decade before family guy made a joke.

[@ndawn90]

They also predicted Caitlyn Jenner, twice.

[@sexygirlmax2019]

Trump going down the elevator? 9/11?

[@jeremysmith4620]

I've heard the best way to expel body thetans is by blowing a load into a fish. It's the way Xenu does it and, if it's good enough for Xenu, it's good enough for me.

[@rileyn54]

What does this even mean bruh

[@jeremysmith4620]

@@rileyn54 You must not be familiar with Scientology. If I explain this you will think I am insane, lol. Just in case you really aren't familiar, Tom Cruise is a hyper-dedicated Scientologist. I'm going to paste in the quick and easy explanation listed on the simple English Wikipedia page, just remember when reading this that members in the "Church" pay hundreds of thousands of dollars to learn these "facts." "Scientology teaches that Xenu (pronounced pronounced /ˈziːnuː/ (ZEE-noo)) was the dictator of a galactic confederacy of 76 planets, who was captured and imprisoned on Earth 75 million years ago after bringing billions of his people to Earth, placing them around volcanoes and killing them by using hydrogen bombs.[1][2] Scientologists believe he is still being kept there these days. Xenu is very important to the beliefs of Scientology because the story of Xenu explains the believed origin of what are known as body thetans from humans. Body thetans are believed to be the essence of Xenu's people that gather around humans and cause them spiritual harm. It is the purpose of auditing within Scientology to remove these thetans from the Scientologist." That's what you get when the founder of a religion is a science fiction writer of questionable talent. So are you ready to convert yet?

[@SteveHotline]

@rileyn54 It's a joke about scientology beliefs bc tom cruise is a scientologist. They believe in a magic alien guy called xenu and spirit things called thetans which can take over ur body and make u sick I think?

[@wheezus2000]

did it before Kanye did, respect

[@venomnbk3326]

They also did this on The Boys, with their Tom Cruise insert character, The Deep.

[@Brainulator9]

Of course you posted this on Good Friday.

[@HyperfixatationInc]

Scientology is going to have to make a new Tom Cruise clone to combat these rumors

[@mordaciousfilms]

He's not even weird in a cool way like so many other folks are - he's weird in like a super toxic, abusive, and scary way.

[@arempy5836]

Nicole Kidman: "Tom, are you gay?" Tom Cruise: "Gay!? I wish! If I were gay there'd be no problem. No, what I have is a romantic abnormality, one so unbelievable it must be hidden from the public at all cost! You see..." Nicole Kidman: "Stop!"

[@KraziAnnRKissed]

Well, he can relate. They both have dead, cold eyes...

[@meechthelittle]

"fish" is a really hard word to definitively lip read without context.

[@sepelchurparadise4785]

Man I hate when I travel the world and have to buy emotional support fishes so i can use the bathrooms without anxiety and keep dropping them on the floor. People think I'm some kind of weirdo.

[@ncva]

So is The Deep from the boys like a satirization of this rumor? Major celebrity, wealthy, stars in many films, becomes the face of a culty religion, bangs fish on the regular.

[@SOOKIE42069]

i like how justin can't help but go into the mickey rooney breakfast at tiffany's voice reading that probably fake asian market story

[@josephwarra5043]

Many years ago, the Washington Army National Guard (Washington State in the USA) used the label "WANG" but so many jokes were being told about the new "name" that the command changed it to "WashANG".

[@ladywilhelminabass]

Hey tom cruise is packing fudge!

[@TheDigitalApple]

Tom is the best fudge packer.

[@JK-gm6kk]

Yall are so sued

[@kr-pm1xg]

Yeah.!!...and that's not.. ..."chocolate sauce" all over his face.!!

[@MetalFriscoDude79]

😂😂😂😂😂

[@zinussan50]

9:37 i had to admit, i am professional broken English speaker, living in Asia. Haha and that is definitely fake Chinese 😂😂😂

[@michaelaguilar7771]

I can imagine him in the men's with the bodyguard holding the fish... and Tom yelling, "C'mon, wiggle the f***en tail! Wiggle the tail!"

[@averageeclairenjoyer3010]

>she did not literally chase them Aww man, and here I was imagining her chasing scared celebrities all over town, Elmyra Duff-style. That would explain the whole fish thing - Tom Cruise was hiding from her in the loo and using fish as a trap to slip her up.

[@DarkOverlord96]

I just had the weirdest false memory case in my head when I read the title because I was like "Wait didn't South Park dedicate a whole episode to this?" but then I remembered that was Kanye West and South Park only mentioned the whole "Tom Cruise is gay" thing. ...and then the Troy McLure clip showed up here and I was like "OH FUCK ME WHY DIDN'T I THINK OF THAT FIRST??"

[@cynabonabelle]

The Deep from The Boys has always reminded me of Tom Cruise now that you mention it

[@tj5425]

Here ya go pissing off scientologists again

[@Infodumptruck]

They're not allowed to argue so it's fine

[@MetalFriscoDude79]

The twist? Scientologists are the subversive people

[@dsouthmonster]

I work in a meat and seafood department. Not only am I gonna look out for him (I'm joking, he'd never come this way) but I'm gonna be curious what people do when they buy whole fish from me for now on. Lol

[@CommanderWiggins]

Whenever Whang uploads my gut reaction is "oh no, what will it be this time?"

[@MoonshineTheDragThing]

What if Tom Cruise is secretly a sushi chef whose guilty pleasure is making sushi in bathrooms? Obviously, he ate all the sushi before he left. He could've flushed the inedible parts of the fish down the toilet when making sushi, which is why there's no trace of the fish in the first story. Any sushi chef who has enough decency to make acceptable sushi would be picky about what fish they choose, this is probably why he was so picky about his raw fish.

[@tankboi8249]

The WHANG/LPOTL crossover we didn’t know we needed

[@Mtv-get-off-thee-air]

You know it’s fake because when people say sorry for poor English they always have perfect English

[@nextcaesargaming5469]

I've heard some weird rumors about Tom Cruise, but this shit takes the cake

[@jessewilley531]

I know EXACTLY why the fish would be used. Scientologists aren't supposed to use drugs. So Tom Cruise going to a dealer, or even have PA acquire them for him could get him drugs would not only get him in trouble with the local law, which Scientologist only recognize when Non-Scientologists commit crimes against them not the other way around, but Scientology's own enforcers, the Office of Special Affairs.

[@chestnut4860]

"My sister said." "My friends cousin said." This is the most stereotypical rumor bullshit.

[@kyletucker3811]

0:19 I beg your pardon???

[@Keznen]

If this is true, he must be part dolphin. Male dolphins are known to do this in the wild.

[@lukeiscool2984]

0:38 you can always just pirate it

[@krillianlastrange4886]

My dad used to raise plecostomus. Even after 10 years of growth they wouldn't be big enough to do "that".

[@bumbozambumbazebulon6738]

Maybe "that" is not A side but B side 😬 💩🐟

[@beechermouse]

What I learned from the movie Wrong Cops, you do not use fish to transport drugs. You carve out the belly of a rat and use that instead. Bring duct tape.

[@the_birthday_skeleton]

can't believe i got to see this video before it gets 'mysteriously copywrite claimed'

[@AntonXul]

The “mostly” movie actor in Italy, that would leave me to believe it’s George Clooney since he was a TV star who became a mostly movie actor who lives in Italy. Tom Cruises is “exclusively” a movie actor.

[@JackShen]

Hell yeah! Is that a Gorguts - Considered Dead shirt? Old school man.

[@JustinWhangYt]

Yeah, got it from their show a few months ago

[@JackShen]

@@JustinWhangYt I haven't seen them since Obscura came out. I didn't think they played shows anymore. Will need to keep an eye out. Have a good one, Justin!

[@chrisw6164]

Gorguts still tours? Nice.

[@Chi_The_Cat_0]

So basically The Deep from The Boys is just Tom Cruise.

[@DesiderataSanctuary]

He was a choice for the character but after meeting with him the creators said "He seem too enthusiastic about the romantic scenes and suggested we use actual fish on set. Plus he had a friend that stayed in the corner in a mask mumbling something about not being a gay fish."

[@koichidignitythief7429]

Well he did join that world's equivalent of Scientology

[@yochlel2642]

Ah yes, the perfect video to watch while I eat tilapia