What Are Schemas? (in 60 seconds)

Check out my full video on schemas: • What are Schemas? | Co...
Schemas are our brain's way of mapping reality so as to predict what things mean, when we are safe or in danger, as well as how we should respond in order to protect ourselves or get our needs met. These maps exist as patterns of neural firing that allow us to respond automatically, without having to consciously think of what to do next. Because schemas are stored in implicit memory, we are rarely aware of exactly how they've mapped reality, which makes it difficult to fully understand why we are trapped in the patterns we find ourselves trapped in. It is therefore important to uncover our schemas so that we can transform them, which is possible because of a process innate to the brain, known as memory reconsolidation. Many experiential therapies, such as coherence therapy, work to help us transform our schemas through galvanizing memory reconsolidation. #therapy #mentalhealth
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The information provided by Dr. Tori Olds is solely intended for informational and entertainment purposes and are not a substitute for advice, diagnosis, or treatment regarding medical or mental health conditions. Although Tori Olds is a licensed psychologist, the views expressed on this site or any related content should not be taken for medical or psychiatric advice. Always consult your physician before making any decisions related to your physical or mental health.

[@mairead354]

Wow! Lightbulb moment 🤯 So "solutions" in this case = maladaptive coping mechanisms?

[@laurabarber6697]

They aren't maladaptive - they worked THEN. This is Now so a different behavior may needed.💝

[@BillClinton228]

When I was a kid I was constantly told not to fight back when people insulted me or started fights. In my adult years I got tired of being a doormat and I became confrontational. Now I work in a environment where being a doormat is the only requirement... clearly hurting my prospects

[@Drd7682]

An outstanding therapist I know described it this way: “x behavior: an imperfect ally, but an ally nonetheless.” This helps us reframe our “problems” not as pathologies that need to be “fixed”, rather as innate intelligences that we can honor, address and alchemize.

[@mairead354]

@@Drd7682 I love that ❤️ Very well-put! Thank you for sharing!

[@captainzork6109]

​@@Drd7682 Yesss. Good of you to share that treasure of a quote

[@ProNice]

What a delightful short

[@DaveE99]

That rage thing made so much sense, I often had my family fighting and because of adhd and how adrenaline affects us during conflict I basically constantly sacrafied my self because it was easier to be the center of the conflict than to constantly have to witness it.

[@mg8642]

This is exactly how i am with over eating. Growing up without enough food and having to fight to get my share left me very anxious about being hungry. As an adult i have a better life and plenty of food, but if i let myself get hungry i eat until stuffed. It's a lot better these days but it took me a very long time to realise what was happening

[@DrToriOlds]

Yes, this is a perfect example. Thanks for sharing...

[@Ladida386]

Did you know that farmers use this tactic on piglets so they get bigger much quicker as pigs.

[@justanotherfan18]

You have a great way of explaining things!

[@tiagonthego]

Wow, so insightful!!

[@antoinettemunn3453]

Ahahaha I was starved as a child then binge ate when there was food available. I now have plenty of access to food but tend to starve myself until I binge eat, don’t know how to regulate that crap. Eating enough makes me feel bad about myself because my parents used to make me feel bad for you know… needing regular meals as a child

[@harimkaimal3398]

So true when I was young, my alcoholic dad used to yell at my mom. To protect her I would yell back and finally I was his opponent until his death. But no one could understand what sort of rage insecurity pain and guilt and shame I went through

[@lesleymay6757]

So sorry that you went through that 😢

[@DrToriOlds]

I'm sorry as well. Seems like you REALLY resonated with that exact example. I hope you watch some of the longer videos about schemas and such, because it is really important to realize that we have nothing to be ashamed of. And for me, this concept has really helped me take this in.

[@harimkaimal3398]

@@lesleymay6757 thank you. 🙏

[@harimkaimal3398]

@@DrToriOlds Sure thank you for making and sharing these videos 🙏

[@nicoledixon1039]

Beautifully said. You are so well spoken.

[@jessied3210]

I've been doing Schema therapy for years. This is a fantastic way to describe it simply!

[@QuantumSqueeb]

What a game changer of a concept 🙏🏾

[@lindsey532]

Please please please make more Shorts!

[@7kanak]

very nice perspective, learned a lot from this, rare from a short. Thank you

[@DrToriOlds]

That's good to hear! I'm still a bit uncomfortable with the shorts format...but glad to hear you got something! ;)

[@Applied_Psychology]

What a beautiful and concise definition 🎉

[@stanly3321]

Your videos are amazing I have been watching videos on therapy all my life. Bt you make it sound so easy to understand.

[@LetArtWorkstudio]

So true. Very simple but you addressed it rightly ❤salute to you. Every sibling might be facing this issue and a trouble to family

[@va.m.3818]

Amazing ! So true although it's not 100% always the case ! It's nice to see that some people still try to understand instead of just reacting.

[@laurabarber6697]

I love this explanation! Thank you!💝🔥💝

[@tori4444]

Truly so intelligent

[@empiricalscout4537]

I have an abandonment schema. I leave jobs, friends, gfs even though everyone loves and are always shocked to hear that I am leaving. I have this schema because my mother wanted to leave my father for about 15 years. They're fights were bad enough that I internalized that everyone will want to leave me so I better leave them before they leave me. Recently my conscious began speaking to me about commitment and what that means. Hopefully I'll improve.

[@peachluck1050]

I have a similar background. Learning to set personal boundaries was so helpful for me, and makes me feel less hollow.

[@Headintodreams]

🤔 you have the ability to always make me stop, think and feel. And think things through. Thank you for being so good at what you do.

[@braddoughty8528]

Thankyou for your insight 🙏👍

[@tonyp333777]

Your energy is soooooo soothing and you are quite beautiful !

[@DrToriOlds]

Thanks Tony!! :)

[@salsaidha7641]

What a great insight! I never thought about that. Then what kind of response should we give to them?

[@Ponzotopia]

The main reason why i spent 6 years, twice a week in therapy, laying down new neuro pathways.

[@sadhanasapkota8975]

Remind me of this 👇

[@zeinanammour37]

Amazing approach ❤

[@buttons2mash185]

I grew up under an incredibly toxic mother and I barely know how to exist let alone not be insufferable. There are things I can and have changed but I can’t change the foundation and have genuinely considered ‘not existing’ over my fucked up head.

[@sciencewins8798]

Very good!!!

[@17h127]

Great explanation

[@tiara3477]

Rage..... scares people away. So someone that is bothering you. Rage gets rid of them.

[@arch94]

Im so sorry to be so out of subject but you’re just stunning, inside out

[@johnlangendoen967]

Thanks for caring.. 😊😊

[@ortegareina293]

That is so clever

[@rubrumvulpespuella4140]

“Overeating” me irl choking on my m&m

[@robinhamer2137]

Thank you for this clip....explained so much. I am a female 61. When i was 13, my Dad and I were working in the breeding barn. (Farm Kid). My dad's sex talk to me was...."If I ever catch you doing that, I will kick you out of my house." So at 61, I finally learned why I am fat and why I did everything to never get asked on a date, have a relationship, or be a female. I've also believed I was too ugly. It was because of the fear of losing my home. So......how do I get over the fear?

[@stingg66]

I can't let myself off the hook. 😢

[@laurabarber6697]

So were you raised being blamed? 💝🙏💝

[@Juniper_berries]

How can we begin to reevaluate how we "solve" our issues? If denial and closing off are solutions for people we love, how can we help them feel safe enough to open up?

[@emir5009]

As a child I felt this i chose and i can choose otherwise

[@J040PL7]

Damn, genius.

[@browndamon]

👏🏾

[@DrToriOlds]

🙏

[@shareenhibberr4339]

Deep

[@jfrazz9729]

So what’s the solution to our solutions??

[@chriszablocki2460]

I'm not raging. I drank a bunch of preworkout but didn't workout because the gym was too busy. It's that simple. I'm generally upset that I'm subject to public scrutiny, but that's something I'm going to need to cope with until I secure a private residence. Hope that clears things up.

[@psychick48]

Yes, you consider "what is the function of that behavior?" The function of the person's rage was to protect his brother from his father's aggression.

[@georgg372]

was watching gun content and the algorithm showed me this....well....😅

[@gemmadidit4118]

Yeh, i know that my apathy and ambivalence are protection against being constantly diminished and criticized growing up. Still, its a hard habit to kick in a world that constantly wants to do the same thing to me. It's like a chrysalis of potential that i cant break open...😖

[@celissewillis9399]

I ended a 5+ year friendship back in November & ONE of the main reasons, had to do with this person using rage as an intimidation tactic... something that is massively concerning & not AT ALL a successful tool, if you want me to do ANYTHING... it actually has the opposite effect; I will keep a distance from you, PERIOD... & also, one VERY important LIFE lesson I learned is, that if you notice someone projecting certain behavior on OTHERS & they make light of it, but also laugh or joke about it, don't ever think for a second that YOU won't ever be a target!

[@jenmo737]

If you have a child doing this- what’s the solution?

[@MrNikhilgherwar]

Nice cj

[@nerudaad]

I love the way you explain things

[@DrToriOlds]

Thanks!! :)

[@inakuvaswaldenstrm6117]

Think I was born with anger issues tbh.

[@levinpantenburg6866]

❤

[@aryanmaams6717]

Wow

[@tiara3477]

If a person rages at a people pleaser....... People pleaser thinks if I give him everything he was he will be happy. He will stop raging. The Rager thinks..... "Wow! This is great! I get everything I want when I act like this!

[@user-gr2yp5dr3m]

How is criticizing yourself a solution?

[@hyperbolicandivote]

How do you exlaine biggotry?

[@thedukeofdorks6001]

Help me.

[@martin5504]

They are not "solutions" I believe they are reactions.

[@MelodyMan69]

So my rage is at the Government that placed me into 'care' at 4 years of age...completely destroying my life and family. Do not try to be a smart arse all your life.

[@79paddysirl17]

Coping mechanisms right?

[@olympiaelda1121]

Solutions become the problems

[@laurabarber6697]

That's because our situations change and we also evolve. Like clothes that fit us when we were 12 years old don't work for us now.💝🙏💝

[@Some1Philosophy]

isn't that instinct?

[@AngelAshes36]

My stepson acts exactly like his mother even though he hasn't seen her since he was 9 months old (that included all her negative traits as well). This wasn't a solution because his father and I treat him and his half-brother (my other stepson) exactly the same. I'm kind generous and never mean to either of them, and my husband is a better father than mine ever was. That's the problem with people who think in absolutes. You'd be looking for a problem to solve in the wrong place when those traits are likely inherited.

[@DrToriOlds]

You know, yes, it is possible to have traits inherited. I would say so, even though in general the most powerful psychological patterns emerge because of learning. But nothing is ever black and white. I'd agree with that!

[@elizabethfindlay5752]

​@DrToriOlds I'd think we could heal our traits we inherited by teaching the traits needed. I believe my daughter inherited some toxic traits from her father's side of the family however it's not my fault or her father's, it is our responsibility to teach and mentor her to make different choices. It's not simple in any means. We humans often want quick, easy solutions which doesn't help. ❤

[@LukeWalstead]

This only works if evil and sin don't exist. But since they do, you can't rationalize every self destructive behavior into a reaction to someone else's misbehavior or abuse. People over eat because they weren't taught self control. People rage because they were never taught to not be selfish. You see, these behaviors should not be viewed as solutions but as the evil themselves. If you don't believe me, look at how our world is breaking down on the heels of this ideology and compare it to the legacy of those who thought how I'm suggesting. We received health, long life, freedom, peace, justice from those who came before. They earned it, we are destroying it. The very fact that you as a woman are allowed to enter any field you like is proof that those who came before built the world we have. But we decided to remove the word of God and even God himself from our thinking. And so we have become fools who don't hold evil accountable. And it all starts by calling an individual's sin someone else's fault.

[@thomasbarton1050]

Its not about shifting the blame, its about taking an objective view of the client's situation and then going from there. There's no reason to condemn and shame the person because a person can not change their own behavior off of their willpower alone and thats because their behavior is already the result of their will.

[@mrmurdock6994]

this sounds like psychology nonsense. I hope none takes it seriously.

[@garagesale247]

Nope nope not true, people come to me with problems all the time. So let's not be all stupid about it.

[@DrToriOlds]

You mean, as in "there are actual problems in life, and they need to be dealt with?" I would agree with that! It isn't ALL from learning, or due to our 'issues.' Sometimes there's just a real problem that needs fixing (the nail in the head image, if you get the reference).

[@garagesale247]

This statement appears incongruent with your assertion, "People don't come to you with problems. They come with solutions." Additionally, it is important to refrain from attributing a quote to me that is not my own, and subsequently expressing agreement with it. Such practices can be misleading and compromise the integrity of the discussion.@@DrToriOlds

[@quasa0]

Wow