What Chasing Amy Has To Say About Sex and Sexuality

[@simonelewis7740]

As a bisexual person who has dealt with the pressures of “choosing a side”, you captured this modern-day analogy on a seemingly progressive 90’s film perfectly, in my opinion.

[@RossTalksAbout]

Thank you, that means a lot to hear. Obviously this was a topic I was worried about doing full justice to, so thank you for sharing your opinion.

[@radiof00le]

52 yrs old, straightish, a smith fan. You nailed it, thanks. been waiting almost 25 yrs for that dissection

[@phamawa]

Honestly, this film is one of the main reasons why I'm comfortably in a good relationship with someone far more experienced than me. I'd had the same reaction and insecurities as holden when I was younger to a couple girls I had connected with, but knew they had been around and ignored the connection. Maturity, focusing on the present and this film really changed my perspective on relationships, past sexual experiences, etc. Also presents a great example of ignoring friends' inputs when it comes to romantic life.

[@rogerdodger1984]

The best scene in Jay and Silent Bob Reboot is exploring the relationship between Holden and Alyssa years later coparenting a daughter while Alyssa is with a woman and Mary Borns Stay plays subtly in the background. Absolutely brilliant.

[@JohnDoe-tm9wz]

And their daughter's name is Amy 🙌🏻

[@cobbsta88]

A movie made before it's time really, back than very "edgy" but today it's actually far more palatable for a wider audience. As you've pointed out, the word bisexual is never used in the movie, as the culture in the 90's was very much wrapped up in binary identity (you're either this or your that).

[@GtarRob]

yeah man you get it. ur the man for making this about one of my favorite movies.

[@paesitopaez4302]

I went into this movie expecting to relate to Ben Affleck, and I ended up relating to Alyssa way more

[@janettripper3132]

Ben’s character was just awful to Alyssa. Selfish. Immature. Controlling. Judgmental. Idiotic. The only thing I can think is that most guys didn’t know how to handle something like this in a relationship 25 years ago.

[@jeffblunte]

Thanks for making this, helps me understand a lot about myself and my past. I’m so glad I married my Amy instead of having to chase her

[@jasperdoggydude]

chasing amy works so good as a romance, and in terms of sexuality it really helped me feel more comfortable with my sexuality

[@evaserration6223]

As gay man coming into this own when this film came out, it really struck a cord with me with the surface level reading of falling in love with someone who can't love you back (initially with Alyssa and Holden and eventually with Holden and Banky) As someone with a few more decades on the clock, it hits differently with the focus on the disparity between the experience of sexual partners (me ending up on varying sides depending on the partner) and how that affects the other.

[@40thCapeRifles]

From 11:09...I cried. You've done a review that's as emotionally cognizant as the film you're reviewing.

[@aR0ttenBANANA]

One of those movies that changes with you as you go through life. The viewing at 15, 25 and 35 mean vastly different things.

[@VerluxUA]

This is an exceptional essay! Thanks chief!

[@RossTalksAbout]

Thanks you, I'm glad you enjoyed it!

[@JakeSezz]

Since my first viewing of this movie 20+ yrs ago, it has been my favorite of KS’s work. For one, it is the best acting performance from both Jason Lee (especially the 4-way road scene) and JLA (especially outside the hockey rink). I also contend it’s my favorite Affleck performance and have a hard time ranking his acting chops in GWH over this film. I’ve always managed to identify more with Holden, though not so much from the “conservative” or “lack of experience” side of things. More from the absurd confidence that gets shattered when you realize you’re not, as Hooper puts it, “Marco fucking Polo when it comes to sex”. I’ve even recited his “I love you” in the rain speech on several occasions (to no success) and shown the movie whilst on a date (to significantly more success). I got a chance to finally meet KS at a convention a couple weeks ago and was wearing my Bank Holdup Studios t-shirt (which he said he loved, btw). I had to let him know that the final con scene is one of the most emotional pieces of film I’ve seen. His response? “It’s fucking heartbreaking, isn’t it?” I love Clerks thanks to my years of shitty retail and I love Mallrats for being the first KS film I watched (along with my comic fandom). The personal story he weaves in Chasing Amy is incredibly deep and I tend to believe it hits more people in the feels than they might admit. Sorry for the wall of text, but I cannot talk about this movie enough 😂

[@javigalindo8560]

Beautifully said. Banky had feelings for Holden, no? I think there's another side to the film as well, Banky silently suffering and not even knowing why because he is tangled in his own mire of gross teenage masculinity. He loved Holden and it's sorta heartwrenching their friendship dies.

[@jesseanderson9710]

Yeah, Banky’s homophobia and immaturity is because he’s repressing his own same-sex feelings. Also why he sabotages Holden’s relationship by revealing Alyssa’s past.

[@agape3936]

This movie aged golden. Always was a fan of it and most of us chasing an Amy in some ways...

[@donaldsmith5667]

i rewatched this last night and have found a new appreciation for it.

[@jrm371]

I enjoyed this a lot. I loved this film when i first saw it a few years ago, and I still have a hard time describing why. I think you've come closer than I have at doing that. The film just resonates with me.

[@RossTalksAbout]

Thanks, glad to hear you enjoyed it. It's almost definitely my favorite of Smith's work.

[@EdMuniz-k8j]

This is a great breakdown & it taught me a lot.

[@lofilm-ace]

Hi, i'm a french guy who work on a video essay about the carrier of Kevin Smith, love your video, thanks you for the lead you've inspired me !

[@filmbrokiller]

ugh, why don't you have more subscribers?? you did a great job with this video

[@mediaikonz]

This was fantastic. Way to deep dive this great flick.

[@angelh1743]

I think you described this movie very well. I friend of mine told me I should really watch this movie. I went to blockbuster and rented the cassette. She was right (my friend that is). "Chasing Amy" is brilliant.

[@tulpabubble2453]

Absolutely the best Kevin Smith film

[@captainxcookies9344]

Very impressive video essay. Wish you were still making essays, as this is my first time finding your channel.

[@mikebernhardt92]

I’ve watched this movie and thought I would relate to Holden, only to find out that that banky is more like myself

[@sandramiksawrites]

Wow this video essay was AMAZING!!!

[@RossTalksAbout]

Thank you, much appreciated!

[@porassrivastava8242]

I think this movie was amazing. It's funny and charming and genuine at places. Holden is more of an example of a conservative (not political) man looking up at a woman who's way more free and liberal than he is and when he finally 'gets' her he suddenly starts looking down on her lifestyle. I wouldn't say Holden is immature, I would say he's confused and objective. That's why when he mentions "I had something personal to say" It brings the movie full circle. He understands Alyssa and her personal experience. I think it's a great movie and I related to both Alyssa and Holden.

[@janettripper3132]

Ok. If not immature, then judgmental and very cruel to his girlfriend

[@flilguy]

The movie takes me back to high school. How we carry certain baggage around after high school. I also think I developed a subconscious crush on Jason Lee and Ben Affleck (just a little!) A part of me wanted to stay with my childhood friends and never leave home! 1997 was also the first ten years out of high school for me. In 1985, I turned 16. I had a major crush on a girl that was in the closet. She lived a dual life even married a guy and had a child with him. She turned 18 in 1985 and developed a drug habit after she graduated from high school. Later that year she said things about me to friends that wasn't true. So I distanced myself. In 2009 she wanted to be facebook friends so I added her. Never really understood if she was gay or bisexual. Considering that her lies caused me damage with close friends. I think she's troubled and toxic. There are times when I wonder if she is a complete narcissist. The whole experience made me very reserved about who I am close with. I think people are more bisexual than they allow themselves to be. Now that I'm past the age of 50 I also find boundaries to be more important. In my late teens and early 20s I was more exploratory. Although a part of me could go either way it just depends on the situation.

[@grahamcaley9748]

This is so good

[@RossTalksAbout]

Thank you!

[@Kayekaye893]

dude, great analysis!!!

[@SandorSoptei]

movie was very, very, ahead of its time

[@Alipuree]

I enjoyed this, but my left ear enjoyed it more.

[@ivanescalante832]

Excellent approach!

[@RossTalksAbout]

Thank you!

[@briangriffin5701]

I miss those mini jukeboxes in Jersey restaurants and diners.

[@paesitopaez4302]

Great video! Loved the analysis

[@SarahJael]

As a bisexual I fucking love this movie

[@stuffwithsoph8264]

this movie is a top 5 for me. this movie is so powerful as a bi sexual woman and the "chasing amy" scene from silent bob is what i throw on whenever im feeling insecure or sad

[@christopherbain9165]

I love, love, love this movie! I totally fell in love with it when I first saw it more than twenty years ago!

[@eddiebaby22]

I didn't think it had anything to do with being gay. Just jealousy and regret.

[@toeareg100]

Love this! Love Ben!

[@liampatrick3110]

Alex Strangelove is the worst offender when it comes to the portrayal of sexual fluidity!

[@cynlagos]

Great explanation

[@123gozane]

I am a gay person but I am currently seeing a guy so I really relate to chasing Amy..

[@kappersify]

cool video but its annoying that your voice feel like its much louder in the left chennel

[@PeacHIS-u1y]

♥️💙🎉♥️💙

[@r.shanethompson7933]

I had a long time gf back in the '90's who identified as bisexual and looked more than a little like Joey Lauren Adams. Never minded anything she wanted to do with another female, didn't feel threatened by it at all, thought it was hot really. Went camping / fishing one weekend with another couple and saw firsthand that a friend of ours gf apparently had a bi side but her guy couldn't handle it AT ALL. Last time we saw them together. Years later he came by wanting me to write an affidavit about the incident for use in a custody hearing. I told him F.O., gave the (by that time) Ex a heads up that he may track her down to attempt same but apparently decided otherwise. I've never married or fathered children and now passing middle age I still know I made the right choices about that.

[@alaskaredhead]

👏👏👏👏

[@Homelandz]

I was 17 when this came out, rented it in Blockbuster and watched it with a close friend of mine. It's a story about a how a cis straight white guy with absolutely no clue got schooled on the changing sexual mores of the 90s thanks to his exposition to queer people. He is a douche throughout the whole film, he says and do all the wrong things, he deserved that slap and he ends up basically being told to fuck off. But he changes, and the last thing he says, on that comic page, is "I'm sorry". This is a story about leaving toxic masculinity behind, about learning the basics of homosexual relations, the social construct that is the concept of virginity and all that; pretty obvious stuff, but it was still valuable knowledge in the 90s (remember, no internet) specially if you come from a catholic background as Holden, Banky and myself do. Yes, it feels old sometimes. Alyssa might be bisexual or even pansexual but we didn't have the lingo back then. Some scenes are written with an obvious male gaze and sometimes that's cringy. But I think the core message holds up 25 years later. The audience of this film is not the queer community, it's regular cis hetero young man. And the message of the film is: leave behind your toxic masculinity, your male ego and insecurities or you risk losing your Amy. That's why at the end of the film we learn that Holden is sorry, that Alyssa did move on, that Banky didn't evolve as Holden did and is stuck on traditional masculinity ("I love those dick jokes man") and that Alyssa's mentality is the way of the future (she is selling a lot). It is a good movie. It might be cringe worthy sometimes, Holden is a total douche with zero charisma and is totally outclassed by Alyssa, so the love story is not that believable or relatable, but it's tons of fun, it has very creative dialogue and a handful of iconic scenes, I'll give it an A-. And it's a progressive movie too, flawed and undeniably 90s, but I think the message still holds up. And that it will be better if cis straight man go down Holden's path instead of the incel path.

[@Edmund._.Dantes]

I hated this movie... but then again I loathed Ben Affleck's acting, however, I like this analysis.

[@bef9612]

Holden was toxic the entire time.

[@porassrivastava8242]

I think he was more confused than toxic and later after a year he realises that he was wrong and hence makes the comic to say something personal.

[@bef9612]

@@porassrivastava8242 Yep it certainly was a good ending!

[@jablethefable229]

You've learned nothing.

[@sierraanne2280]

Everyone always talks about bi-erasure, but I've seen lesbian-erasure far more. If you don't look like a stereotypical lesbian, people will assume you're bi. Almost every bi person I've ever met has told me that they don't think lesbians are real (and straight people say the same thing, guys refusing to believe they can't "turn" a girl straight). I haven't seen this movie in a long time, so maybe my views would be different now, but I remember watching it and it seemed like a director who believed that lesbians also like men and that if a male protagonist pushed hard enough he could convince a lesbian to like him. Which is already a myth that puts an additional target on the backs of lesbians. I guess in older movies it can be a double edged sword. To the community sensitive to detecting biphobia, calling a bi girl a lesbian when she also ends up dating dudes is taking away the label of bi. But it's also shitty for lesbians because it's erasing the concept that lesbians exist. While erasing the word bi, you erase the concept of a lesbian. And the first ends in annoyance and feelings of invalidation while the second ends in annoyance, feelings of invalidation, and sexual harassment/assault/rape.

[@paesitopaez4302]

I get what you're saying but the movie and the video are not about a man "converting" a lesbian, they're about the misguiaded understanding of bisexuality and sexual fluidity. Alyssa talks about enjoying instances with men and women, and the film shows her being marginalized by both homosexual and straight peers because of her "going back and forward" sexuality.

[@sierraanne2280]

@@paesitopaez4302 Ya I really can't remember the movie that well so it might not be how I remembered it, but isn't there the main conflict through the movie of him wanting to date her but being upset because she tells him she's a lesbian?

[@cherizar1854]

@@sierraanne2280 Yes, so Holden at first assumes Alyssa is a lesbian because she talks about the relationships she's had with other women. This upsets him because he is attracted to her. The main conflict of the movie arrives when Holden realizes she is bisexual and has, in fact, had relationships with men in the past. Because Holden is ignorant and he thinks Alyssa was a lesbian who turned straight for him (which is obviously impossible). Obviously, if Alyssa WAS a lesbian, it would be impossible for her to ever develop feelings for him, so when she fell in love with him, he should've realized she was bisexual and been happy that she was bisexual because this opened the opportunity for a relationship between them to even take place. But as it was previously stated, Holden is very ignorant and he also has a huge ego, so he relishes the thought of being the "one man who conquered the lesbian". When it is revealed he is far from Alyssa's first experience with a man, he is incredibly angry and jealous and basically slut shames her for her past sexual experiences. This leads to the inevitable downfall of their relationship. It's actually a very good movie. I was very surprised by Kevin Smith's eloquence and understanding when exploring these kinds of themes in his movie. I think you should check it out again :)

[@halycon404]

@@cherizar1854 It's his sister. He wrote it, but he wrote it after spending time talking to his sister. It's based off her experiences and stories.

[@rogerdodger1984]

This is such a terrible assumption of the movie. Especially when you wrote a college thesis on a movie you cant even remember. Crap view. Thumbs down.

[@vinskeeter]

Her smoking is gross. Makes me not want to see this.

[@Brainwarts99]

It’s 1997? lots of people smoked cigarettes

[@liampatrick3110]

What are you, a MORMON?

[@bootleg317]

You must be a hoot at parties.

[@BudFuddlacker]

Oh please. Bi sexuality is just being selfish af. Choose a side and get it over with

[@nickosmond9561]

One of the main reasons Bisexuals don't come out! Enough with the Biphobia!