What do you see in the mirror, Scarra? | Dr. K Interviews

[@Wernimations]

Everytime Scarra smiles, a flower blooms somewhere.

[@lauryn2868]

I agree completely

[@sviestassviestuotas5081]

true

[@Phelupianmangler]

Scarra's smile is so contagious

[@sunayoru]

yes!!!

[@eltjeau]

If for everytime scarra had a glimpse of a smile and i would have a pentakill... I..

[@otaldomatheush]

When Scarra said that he felt his younger version was smarter than his current self that hit really hard. Sometimes when I see old photos of myself I just feel like apologizing to that kid. Scarra's fucking awesome btw.

[@eltjeau]

There is alot of healing in that thought. Your young beeing didn't see what was coming. Tell the young version of 'you' not to be to hard on the older 'you' and you may be able to heal and be softer to the person you are today

[@otaldomatheush]

@@eltjeau Never thought of looking at it that way. Thanks for this! Literally tearing up at work LMAO

[@eltjeau]

It's something i learned in therapy.. it can become more thorough to the mind if you go back to old memories and really are aware of the child that experienced what you remember nowadays. It's a therapy called exposure.. so helpfull when you need to come loose of the child in you that had bad experiences in the past

[@bobbywhite5319]

Woah, time experiences are weird. I still feel like the same person as I did in my childhood. Interesting to know that some people feel different. In my case the feeling is held together by a bitterness/wariness of others. Or maybe it’s that I lack a sense of self

[@juninhoplay5380]

salve

[@Dudebaker420]

I have never shouted "Get Him!" More than this. I love Scarra and he needed this so badly.

[@misterpgallagher]

Me too. Scarra is so awesome!

[@andersnielsen3217]

That's a wonderful comment🙂

[@EtherTheReal]

@@andersnielsen3217 no u

[@JoeNovacks]

who is Scarra?this guy who talk with Dr?K come one guys this guy is wonderful briliant serious and so true the way he speaking he makes you to trust him at once!i like this guy!Hey you AWESOME and never forget!Hello there Scarra !

[@izio1111]

I know right he needed real talk and guidance so much

[@dropthekorpi]

This was the most helpful interview for me so far. I have the same problems of rationalizing and a constant need for self-improvement rooted in negative self image. Seeing him gradually move away from logic and closer to facing emotion was eye-opening as well. Thank you Scarra and Dr. K!

[@eltjeau]

I feel the same.. rationalizing stuff to death, dont get your emotins involved..

[@sollertia_]

ironically, I see rationalization as an emotional escape mechanism disguising itself and tricking the "logic" part of one's mind

[@MzSoulll]

I have the same problem...exhausting.

[@Jeppe_P]

Same honestly. This was really helpfull

[@moonfrog9878]

It’s easier not to feel cos it hurts, but it’s what we need to grow, otherwise like he says, we essentially rationalise everything like it’s all okay because it makes us feel content, but sometimes we need to know it may not be okay and we should do something about it and then feel improvement when we do, some people feel an overwhelming amount of emotion alone, but I think a lot do swing to the other side and go for solely logic

[@rogpigamedev]

Is cool seeing Dr K. work, cuz when he finds something like: "Ahh, this could be it" he grins and you can see how much fun he's having. That's passion man. So nice

[@aniyilator]

Ikr? He's such an inspiration

[@toastybowl]

Gamer moment

[@alimay967]

Absolutely 👍👍👍

[@tolutoluhi7252]

Honestly I love this, especially as a therapist in training lol

[@tylerkim1163]

1:10:14 Scarra: Life would be easier as a robot Dr. K: You’ve tried really hard to be a robot Scarra: Beep Boop (sad robot noises)

[@kajiko88]

I got Captain Holt vibes from this clip

[@Vexiad]

That part made me laugh so hard

[@jcnot9712]

Petition to get Scarra to voice Marvin from _Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy._

[@arcadistorias3202]

Scarra is definitely someone that should have additional sessions recorded. Not only is he beloved by so many people, but because he has so many walls up. Also shout outs to the "idk if imma make it to 40" crowd lmao.

[@eyo8766]

WOOOOOOOOO

[@theotherdavid8727]

Wooo fuckn 25 is a stretch for me brother

[@MetroTechGamer]

@@theotherdavid8727 same

[@RalphelValentine]

True even when twitch had the tier list for best streamers to least. Most streamers put scarra pretty high even people that don't normally interact with him

[@SomeoneNr9]

@@theotherdavid8727 well, I didn't think i would go past 20, now I'm 25... Although truth be told, while I did originally intend to make this comment uplifting, I can't say, that I have particularly enjoyed, or feel proud of having made it, so yeah... That's probably a bit of a downer. Nevertheless, I wish you and everyone who relates to this the best and I hope you find whatever you need to be able to carry on until you can make things turn around for you.

[@callmebird8798]

"Catch yourself before you dodge" I watched this 4 months ago and took what u guys said to heart. Ive moved out and got myself a full-time job. Thank you for getting me out of my zombie state of mind. EDIT: 3/2/2022 I'm now a Explosive Expert in Training getting paid and got myself a place to live. I need to put in extra hours into a apartment building I put a down payment on but I think its gonna be worth it. It was a hard bit of work but as long as I catch myself before I make a excuse of why I cant do something. I and all of you can do anything.

[@samueluzcategui7567]

Congrats!

[@D_Jilla]

That's amazing friend! Keep up the good work!

[@OMIMreacts]

🙏🙏🙏 this should be the top comment! well done!

[@LOLmisscrazy]

Love that for you!!! Wishing you all the best!

[@jeanieologie]

I hope you're doing well even if what was happening didn't work out. I'm mid-interview now and praying something will click for me. For real. I have shit I wanna do, I wanna be happy, and if it's right for us I want to get the LOML back. I really need this help :(

[@nanabanana44]

I'm a simple man, i see don scarra i click

[@eltjeau]

You see scarra, or you don

[@SaulBedMan]

paying my respects to the don

[@SumriseHD]

It's just like with Anthony from LTT

[@larvaedadindex]

@@SumriseHD yessirrr

[@getithxney]

same

[@enmemoriamedia4957]

Skara "I´m gonna die before im 40" Dr K. "even darker" Skara "I´m gonna die before im 39?"

[@Sam_Ares]

I think the answer he was looking for was for Scarra to say he hated himself. But it really doesn't seem like he does which kinda surprised Dr. K at 46:20

[@ohjajaja]

​@@Sam_Ares not really looking for but certainly was ready for it to come. He was probably targeting something like with just being unhappy with his state or feeling disappointed. That's why Dr. K. often seems very vague with his questioning. He doesn't want to push out answers, just so his logical mind can satisfy the question with an answer some would just expect to come up. This could lead to very complicated situations. He doesn't expect him to say "I hate myself" because I think it's an unhealthy way of assuming the wildest things without certainty. Be free of superstition

[@NorroTaku]

@@Sam_Ares i felt that way too I thought he was going to ask about death and self harm but I think he didnt ask it on purpose and not out loud as to not bring it up and skara didnt pick up on it so he probably either didnt have the thoughts or did not have them anymore

[@quAdxify]

@@Sam_Ares No the answer he was expecting (if any particular) would be "I'm gonna die alone" especially since that subconsciously matches Scarra's unhealthy lifestyle. No dying alone, if you die young, where your friends are still around.

[@lelelew2735]

Maybe not himself but the hand he was dealt from genetics.

[@thewildhealer541]

Scarra is an amazing and loveable person

[@AnonymousuomynonA]

*persona

[@vinh_em]

@@AnonymousuomynonA William Jimmy Li, known as Scarra, is an amazing and loveable person

[@varasatoshi3961]

I think a lot of us forget how smart and successful, and all around badass Scarra is. Not only is he really funny, but he was the organizer and creator of one of the largest online content brands to grace KZbin and twitch.

[@wildfire9280]

Ohhh that’s what that “Osu” thing on r/paint was. I literally had no idea what it was until now 💀

[@DodInTheSky]

Scarra has a really thick shield of logic defending his feelings. He knows logically knows what to feel and do but doesn’t feel it emotionally. Kudos to Dr. K for recognising that as quickly as he did.

[@torres1461]

Scarra is the most genuine sweetheart out there and I’ll simp for him till the day i die

[@empiricus2211]

same

[@whoshotya117]

Man thats like your mom saying she would date you. It's worthless and cringe and makes the person feel even more pathetic.

[@torres1461]

@@whoshotya117 damn that’s crazy :|

[@YuketsuGaming]

@@whoshotya117 wth

[@icannottakeitanymore2287]

@@whoshotya117 sounds like your projecting,but with that said that is pretty true.

[@ouwle6618]

"As i become the rational part fo you, what do you become?" "Worried"

[@BacchusGames]

I love Scarra and this interview, but damn watching Dr.K in this session is the most I've felt like I'm watching a master at his craft. Going back to the question "What do you see in the mirror" in different connotations is something I don't think I would have ever come up with, and it feels so impactful.

[@sareatonin]

I agree!! Like the tension in the air was thick but it’s all a learning curve and a chance to improve. I love them both, it was very interesting to watch

[@sugalofe4131]

You can also see him key in on the topic in the first interaction. It was wildly impressive to see him hone in on it, and then slowly work around to getting into it. Deconstructing answers and questions with insane precision.

[@Sean.F]

The Motivational Interviewing part was so fucking good!! 1:38:20 Scarra is just so receptive to it, and so used to being on the "other side", that it makes it look like Dr. K was using Jedi mind tricks. Love seeing the way he thinks and processes these things, and would love to see a follow-up interview! Scarra is such an awesome guy.

[@yadsewnde]

Ikr? I was mesmerized! Kept thinking of like card/top/animal fighting anime where you see a visual of a character trapped by another characters attack even if it's not actually hurting the other character (hope that makes sense. The gist is I was just really impressed)

[@tfkrockhard]

This will be so good to learn motivational interviewing as a social worker.

[@hmongguyful]

I really felt for scarra here when he started saying that his friends don't truly understand or know him and how he has a sense of low self worth. And how he's been handling that feeling is the understanding that he will never be perfect which isn't solving anything

[@ciudateluLcuUmor]

The clown of the class When going home

[@Miguelplaysgaming]

“People call friends family to avoid feeling romantic feelings for their friends” Mikasa: he’s family

[@WanderTheNomad]

"He's like a brother to me."

[@breathingstill]

why did this hit closer to home than I expected

[@_unseenhunter_5093]

@@WanderTheNomad yeah, a brother from Alabama

[@anshi5098]

noooooooooooooooooo how does this fit so well

[@izio1111]

LMAOOOOASDassdaaSD

[@uhwaykin]

I think Scarra's defense mechanisms are there as much to hold in pain as they are to protect him from pain being inflicted.

[@uav2246]

That's how it works for me I think. As a man, I've been taught to hold it all in a hidden room and use the knowledge of that pain to avoid more. :( Love scarra.

[@cjpe2265]

@@uav2246 i feel this ❤

[@OhSoSnake]

this is how all defense mechanisms (which are a part of ego) work universally, i think.

[@jacepayne8883]

I think you're right, and have great taste in music..R.I.P. DOOM

[@Imyourcherryybomb]

Every time he asks "What do you see when you look in the mirror?" hits harder than it has to.

[@foggyvhs8790]

I'm frustrated that I definitely have issues with how I look, but I can't understand what I see looking in the mirror

[@naderayad3228]

it is something like in good will hunting saying it is not your fault and every time it hits stronger

[@ohjajaja]

@@foggyvhs8790 Most people would probably start thinking a lot and maybe point out inperfections in their look when doing this. Keep in mind though that this is supposed to be a meditation. Be aware, but stop analyzing. Just scan yourself. It does not matter if you just look yourself into the eyes for minutes or scan your whole body. You just have to recognize you are there, and be in that moment with yourself. It is more about the feeling of "meeting yourself". Just throwing thoughts here.

[@foggyvhs8790]

@@ohjajaja still hard to understand, also hard to understand what being present is. Kinda learned what it’s meant /not/ to be present. Dunno if I’m getting it wrong but in terms of acceptance I guess I can say maybe I am ugly but so what. Making progress in some ways but honestly don’t think I’ve made any in loving myself, it feels impossible without becoming another person entirely

[@revaamritkar7281]

Totally wasn't expecting this but what a welcome surprise! Dr. K's really going to cycle through all of OfflineTV & Friends and I'm here for it.

[@reviera634]

Maybe Sykkuno too

[@jey1834]

@@suaviduds toast already said he wasn't coming on

[@imperialbagel]

@@jey1834 I’ve got news for you!

[@jey1834]

@@imperialbagel i wasn't wrong? he said he only did it cuz he felt forced lmao

[@disbkris2923]

Dude I feel him on the first part sooooo much he's thinking hard about what he's saying to not say anything wrong. He's not actually saying what's on his mind he's just thinking about a good answer to the question, I do this a lot.

[@trulyinfamous16]

I hope Scarra sees the amount of love being shown for him in the comment section. He really is a good dude On another note, I feel like we are so close to getting a Toast session. Slowly but surely we are working our way through the OTV gang and having on Toast on here will the Endgame like event.

[@easyluckable]

Yeah, Toast would be the endgame

[@IMTSin]

I am pretty sure that he said he wouldn't do it.

[@sakurab0t]

That would be cool, but I think toast said he wouldn’t do it

[@ramseshinojosa6155]

He really said that? Damn man, I was hoping to see him sometime soon

[@trulyinfamous16]

@@IMTSin he has progressively updated this answer. Now it’s “Dr. K’s team has been aggressively contacting me and... i don’t know. I feel like I would cry”

[@Zenju__]

I really enjoyed this one, got some great moments of self-awareness, breaking down defenses and mutual appreciation here. Some highlights for me (which do require context): 1:37:42 Logical thinking can only go so far for our emotional lives. Also, lowering defenses means entering a living Hell 1:48:38 A door left unopened festered into a whole damn mansion 1:49:50 Scarra gives his honest, affectionate (juicy) praise 1:55:02 Dr. K strikes back with some honest praise of his own. Just take it! Scarra is a sweet man and I wish him all the best.

[@shinkamui]

At 1:38:20 when scarra asks dr K ''does that make sense'' YUP the reverse has taken hold. He's even adopting the language mannerism. Which is nothing short of fantastic lol. I know this is the tip of the iceberg for the emotional undercurrents that are going on, but what a beautiful tip.

[@brumpbotungus8425]

Scarra's so brave for opening up to so many people. I feel like that question of "What do you think when you look in the mirror?" is so scary. I can relate to him a lot with almost everything that he said.

[@loloioi]

@28:45 Note that Dr.K made Scarra come to that conclusion himself without having to tell him. That's something incredibly important to pick up on. The rest just falls into place.

[@2000barna]

when scarra said "beep boop" I really felt that..

[@matheuswohl]

same

[@couchman-sw6jy]

😔

[@coolfiretire12]

beep .. boop.... 😔

[@ahawkone8850]

Never heard of Scarra before but man I started crying at the end. Reminded me of my therapist a while ago. I’m glad they had this conversation and thanks to both of them for moving through it so elegantly.

[@Kvh47]

I do the same as Scarra, as in I also plan ahead when meeting someone. I make sure I am fully rested so I am high energy, try to make sure that it is worth their time and sometimes I even make a list of things I should ask them about so I seem interested in what is going on in their lives. Problem is that when someone shows up unannounced I completly shut down. it also costs a lot of energy so when people leave I need to be alone for a bit to recharge.

[@TheGrzB]

It's sad to hear that. People shows up unannounced because the relation grows enough to feel like it's appropriate. I'm not sure if all that preparation does not backfire in the end because it's hard to keep that up when friendship advance.

[@Kvh47]

@@TheGrzB What do you mean with when friendship advance? someone is a friend or not right? there are no levels to it.

[@TheGrzB]

@@Kvh47 I see that differently but it's fine. I can be on different levels depending on activities with different friends. Let's say i have friend who is terrible with secrets and we both know about it i will not share them with him because it's bad for both of us but I can have other one who is great about. The other thing is I don't become someone friend instant it's progress when we both realize we appreciate each other company willing to accept flaws of each other. I'm older guy so maybe it's different approach, I want people to like me for who I am and for me preparation how You describe it is something I will not be able to keep up with so I will create image of myself impossible to keep up with time. I'm very open person and very easy fit into groups so probably that's why my views are so different.

[@Yogryph]

definitely one of the more complicated and nuanced interviews out there. Scarra has a lot of depth to dig through

[@nommable]

This was an incredible interview. I don't watch streamers and don't know Scarra, but listening to this, I realized I'm in a very similar place, where I deflect my own negative emotions because they're 'unproductive'. I was journaling while listening to this and I had just the biggest breakthrough, where I was crying and facing emotions I have been trying but unable to access for quite a long time. Thanks Scarra for being vulnerable with us, and thanks Dr. K for your immeasurably valuable guidance.

[@moralapostilion1761]

Dunno if u will see this since it’s kinda late, but: Good job! I wish u the best on ur journey. Ur not alone. A lot of us are working on ourselves striving for the right path.

[@xZeke97]

This one felt personal, I have the same self esteem issues than Scarra does. I also have always said Ill try dating once I lose weight, ill gain confidence to get friends once I start to like myself more. But I know that will never happen by itself regardless of my goals.

[@ボイヤ-u7u]

I feel the exact same way bro. I hope that both you and I end up getting there

[@Datan1234]

Just start. Literally all you need. Do 10 push-ups tonight and keep it goin, chat up the next best chick you come along. It’s really simple. Now I only gotta convince of that myself...btw six pack and all that stuff don’t do shit.

[@LaNoireDetruit]

How about turning the argument around? "I will have the courage and support I need to change things, once I have good friends"?

[@klaxxon450]

Holy shit, this was like looking at my own reflection. I couldn't stop crying, wtf....how can it be so relatable!!??

[@goneforever2618]

“You think your pain and your heartbreak are unprecedented in the history of the world, but then you read. It was books that taught me that the things that tormented me most were the very things that connected me with all the people who were alive, who had ever been alive.” ― James Baldwin

[@fox5352]

I feel you I was born with off centre jaw

[@Angel-oj4zs]

I hope you are feeling better and are feeling motivated!

[@klaxxon450]

@@Angel-oj4zs Thanks for checking up, I am doing a lot better since I started watching Dr. K's vids.

[@OMIMreacts]

@@klaxxon450 letsgooo! happy to hear that you are having insights about yourself!

[@madscot_]

I'm realising so much that I'm like Scarra. Same age, same struggles with feelings and dating, just love in general. Never feeling I'm good enough for girls I want to approach and I just step back. I feel like I've missed out on so many love stories because of that and I've missed my chance. I've cried multiple times through this because it felt like it was me talking. Dr K is an amazing dude and I'm gonna take on board some of the advice he's given here.

[@sarapocorn]

I have not known Scarra before, but now 44mins in I have to say that he seems like an authentically kind person and I do genuinely find him attractive. I hope he will feel that way about himself someday as well.

[@sarapocorn]

checking back in after finishing: I am 26 years old and have found that the number one thing, emotionally, that I have had issues with partners with was emotional connection. The level of reflection needed to ‚see‘ another person, see their layers, fears, motivations and meet them there. love them, not despite, but BECAUSE you have insight into their multilayered selves. It is so incredibly hard to learn, but I have found that even if everything else was right, they were organised, reliable, interesting, attractive to me, etc - if that form of intimacy is missing, I will not feel at home in a relationship and leave, sooner or later. Scarra, however, has that ability. And this is why I truly believe he makes a great partner. And anyone else in his position, no matter how you look and how much money you make, so do you.

[@karole7345]

Why use the word genuinely. Is it because he's rich?

[@BebehCookieIcecream]

@@karole7345 No, it's to dodge stupid questions like this that try to subvert someone's declaration of attraction. It's *genuine* attraction because of his earnest efforts to emotionally connect. Do you think genuine attraction is monetary? Because liking someone for money is not romantic attraction.

[@sarapocorn]

@@karole7345 no. I do not know anything about him outside of this video and do not know or care about his financial situation, though I am happy he is not struggling financially. And neither am I. I hold a master‘s and am a college professor in Switzerland, I have all my material needs more than covered myself. You are the person whose mind jumped straight to money, so maybe you‘d want to reflect on that. That‘s all I have to say to you and I hope you have a nice day :)

[@weeknd7245]

Then give him a sucky nuff said go on make a move

[@jletsgoo]

1:01:27 sometimes ppl think of their friends as family bc they're afraid of what would happen if they had romantic feelings towards their friends... woah,. 1:05:00 like a dodge tank - trained yourself to dodge, so to willingly not move when its coming your way is no easy task 1:09:04 What are you really afraid of? (learning to vocalise how you feel) 1:13:34 Self fufilling prophecy: not feeling good enough 1:15:58 Can you ask them if you don't feel confident in yourself? 1:17:03 I want you to chase love bro!! 1:30:10 Are you the rational part of me now?

[@easyluckable]

Now, Toast is the only one left in OTV who hasn’t came to Dr. K session, really hope we can see him be here one day.

[@samuelgiraudo8748]

Well, there's also Sykkuno

[@miguelbailon6581]

@@samuelgiraudo8748 Sykkuno isn't an official member of OTV

[@samuelgiraudo8748]

@@miguelbailon6581 Ah, that makes sense. Thanks you for the clarification :)

[@shirleyy2979]

Toast has talked about it on stream before, he said he would talk to dr k privately if an interview ever happens. He feels it’s difficult to abandon his stream personality in public.

[@momoshinigami]

Sykkuno also said he preferred to talk something like this with his close friends~

[@thetrustysidekick3013]

I'm so happy scarra's on this show. He's a genuinely good person, and he really needed someone to tell him these things.

[@hokiepokie]

Dr. K has said time and time again: don't thank me, thank the person that is interviewed. After this interview I finally REALLY understand what he meant all this time. Holy shit Scarra, you're so insightful thank you so much for coming on an being so genuine and open, you've really helped me!

[@sunnyrandomz]

The Don Scarra has taken the seat! Let's goooooo!

[@dr.bandito60]

Really lovely interview. Scarra seems great. This discussion jogged some insight for me. So many of us live with beliefs from our past that shape how we interpret other people to be perceiving us. It bleeds into every interaction. When you have a heaviness about your social interactions, the people close to you usually pick up on it. You seem more closed off. Someone who may have otherwise had a romantic interest, decides instead to give you space. In my experience, if you believe yourself to be unloveable, someone loving you won’t change your mind. You’ll just be waiting for it to end. But if you can learn to see yourself more positively, many things are possible.

[@annak3325]

agreed.

[@sori6196]

Screenshotted this comment because it’s so beautifully written and I needed this message

[@easyluckable]

Honestly, Scarra was certainly not my favourite members in OTV before , but I’ve watched more Scarra recently, I’ve grown so much respect for him, such a cool dude.

[@substanceplayer2088]

I've been a fan of Scarra for almost 10 years now. He was the first pro league player I ever saw and really drove my passion for video games further than it had ever went. He's an amazing person, player, and streamer and I want nothing but the best for him

[@pal_2006]

Actually watching this interview instead of just listening is so much better than the other interviews because watching doctor k interact with the chat with subtle winks and smiles is so funny when he and the chat knows what he's doing but not scarra

[@Richie33404]

I agree; I’ve been just listening to these but the facial and body language adds a lot!

[@eltjeau]

"not being good enough" cognitive changing to "for someone else".. you are great enough.. let your feelings come through scarra

[@curseyoux]

"Look at yourself in the mirror and just notice." I instantly got extreme anxiety LOL maybe it's time for me to see a therapist...

[@fungling7982]

Yea, everyone can get lots of help from a therapist, humans are pathological in nature due to self-awareness. Even if we don't notice it.

[@jameshercals9651]

I recommend you do!

[@uh-ooooh]

Damn. Dr.K went through a lot of those barriers so expertly that's insane. I know I shouldn't be surprised since you're an expert obviously but it was so well done how you navigated something that most people would find really difficult and rigid to

[@ckv954]

His dodges are so interesting to see, I hope he thinks more about how he does it in his own mind.

[@breezebee]

Been watching scarra for a while now. I’ve never loved another streamers episode on Dr. K more than Scarra’s, truly a genuine guy who tries his best. His logical way of thinking is very relatable, and I understand his struggle with that. Hope nothing but the best for him

[@baddabeer4862]

This helped me. I really feel like I’ve adapted to the point of maladaptive. I’ve cut so much away that I am a shadow of that younger me that felt the pains.

[@rawrara]

God the journey and rollercoaster that Scarra has gone through during this talk is so exciting and brings a smile to my face everytime he understands things. Loved it so much. Thanks Dr.K and Scarra!

[@raynac224]

I like this :) I think one of the biggest steps logical minded people have to take is the realization that sometimes your logical ideas are illogical because they are not incorporating the effect that the idea will have on your own and other peoples emotions. Analyzing humans logically our brains are not set up well for logic, emotions generate much stronger reactions so they are a very important variables to consider when reviewing a scenario.

[@TomTomDam]

It's so interesting that one of our greatest tools as humans is logic, yet at the same time we somehow think so hard about things that we sometimes end up betraying our logic.

[@ZvCkt]

Dr K is just too damn good. That role reversal was some 9k IQ Imposter move. Played Scarra like a fiddle

[@Sarasor]

Man you are so good at switching sides. I love the way you suddenly and passionately started taking his defensive side. Great talk guys. Scarra seems like such an intelligent and genuinely good person that he would bring a lot of happiness into a lucky girl's life. Self worth can be scary sometimes

[@tonjolley6422]

I'm so happy we got to see this side of Scarra and that Dr. K could too. I hope Scarra starts to realize he is a very loveable and worthwhile person to have around, even in a relationship. He's not that bad on the eyes either. If he feels is weight holds him back, luckily it is very able to be changed. Thank you Scarra, and Dr. K.

[@noBoxKhan]

37:30 Something about those words struck deep within me. I kind of felt that yellow light Scarra was mentioning earlier. Very insightful.

[@BeyondtheRecord]

53:36 "kinda what you are doing right now" JESUS THAT WAS SUCH A GOOD MOMENT, wasn't expecting that reaction and it threw me off-guard

[@kylespevak6781]

11:30 I'm also very bad at this. When people tell me a problem I assume that they want me to help them fix the problem. I would never go to somebody else and make them hear me complain and get mad if they offer advice, so I forget that that's what most people do

[@deepakrajendra8019]

1:39:55 That wink tho! Seriously, absolutely stunned by that thing that Dr. K did there. Emotional interviewing was it?

[@mysigt_]

Motivational interviewing

[@deseanlothian]

41:47 Bless this professionalism, I was scared to watch an interview with scarra, but with this said; don't have to worry. This man taught me league and so many more don't really wanna see him defenseless.

[@faceofdead]

I've always liked Scarra as a streamer and person. Too logical at times, but this is why we are all here, in search for balance. Love will come when we feel ready. Love will come when we open up :) Thank you for the conversation!

[@CharlestonAES]

I didn't love what 1:07:50 did for the conversation As Scarra, I can see myself trying to be very vulnerable and open.. and maybe failing.. but to be told in that moment that chat got it and I wasn't would seem very dismissive.

[@MysticBlueFox]

Perhaps yes, though you do have to agree that Dr. K is always asking for others to tell him if things are too much or to not feel they need to share things that will be uncomfortable for them. In this video he did really ease into it slowly over hte course of an hour by this point you mentioned. Considering this is a streamed session with viewers, there is a certain level of expectation that something that would be considered "unprofessional" would happen on occasion. I think this is a grey area if anything or at the most an unintentional negative.

[@lunargraph]

I hope scarra knows that a lot of people love and respect him and his work. He's such a delight to watch, I feel so drawn to his streams. Thank you so much to dr k for doing this for him and thank you to scarra for being this vunerable online. I sympathize with his struggles so much and i feel like this helped me a lot too, if that makes sense.

[@astew2245]

1:55:14 "Sit with the praise, don't deflect it" Just.... BEAUTIFUL catch there 🤣

[@chloerene7858]

I just always love hearing Dr K talk and watching how he interacts with people and tries to get to the core of issues. So interesting, it feels like I'm working through my own problems no matter who he is talking to. I wish I could find a therapist like him near me lol! He seems extremely knowledgeable.

[@Pippaqueenofdumb]

"That's where they went, where did they start?" Perfect counter parry, Marvellous!

[@_Alex_F]

I just came to know of the existence of this channel. I must say, I admire the ability to get so "exposed" and do a therapy session on a public live stream/video on youtube. This is even more true with someone like Scarra who is really well known in the gaming community. Seeing all the positive feedback in the comments is really refreshing.

[@veradrost9654]

Scarra was always attractive to me and I hurt for him to hear that he didn't think women liked him. This interview broke down the reasons why he said that and I hope Scarra will slowly but surely learn that women find him extremely attractive; Not just physically either. He's smart. Determined. Cares about his friends and family. He's funny, kind. Hell, he's succesful and able to sustain himself without problem. All of those traits are extremely attractive to your average woman. Some may dislike his weight/appearance, but the vast majority either won't care or like him more because of it. GAH IT'S SO FRUSTRATING. I hope you find love, Scarra. You deserve a buddy who'll show you how much you're worth.

[@VestigeFinder]

nah he needs to lose weight. Then he'll become more confident and happy with himself, then he will be more attractive physically and emotionally

[@veradrost9654]

​@@VestigeFinder Weight loss doesn't equate happiness or confidence, and I say that as someone currently losing weight and feeling happier because of reaching my set fitness goals and dealing with my mental health on the side. Most mentally unwell people trade their fat insecurities for thin insecurities. You do not have to be the "ideal" weight to love yourself or to be loved by others, either, so I'm unsure why you found it important to bring up.

[@VestigeFinder]

@@veradrost9654 I brought it up because scarra is fat and out of shape, and he says he is insecure because he doesn't like what he sees in the mirror. Some fat people can be happy and content being in an unhealthy state, but scarra doesn't seem to be one of those people. Also, exercise literally boosts the natural chemicals in your brain that make you happy, so there is no reason not to workout.

[@veradrost9654]

@@VestigeFinder I'm not getting the impression you're saying all this because you care about his well-being. Do correct if wrong tho. There's a lot of gymbros on KZbin that think any and all "fat" people can fix all their problems by just becoming their preffered body type. He could be talking about his hair, his face, his posture, his teeth, his nose, his eyes, his legs, his height - literally anything - but you assume it's about his weight. Why? From my point of view it's important to be mentally healthy and accept your body for what it is before you try to change it. To prevent fucky thought patterns that lead to disorders and the like.

[@SuperLotus]

@@veradrost9654 There's a mega thread on bodybuilding dot com with hundreds of posts by people (men and women) who talk about experiences before and after weight loss (or weight gain). They talk about how different they were treated by people when they were in shape (although some guys still had issues dating). Sure, you might still have low self esteem, psychological issues, imposter syndrome, etc. after losing weight, but those can all be compounded by being overweight and too often people are told appearance doesn't matter when most of the time that's just a platitude.

[@wadalapichu4873]

i like scarra so much, thanks dr k for having him :)

[@ToriKo_]

Watched it on stream, leaving a comment for the algorithm

[@hecatrice2064]

Scarra is amazing. I've been following him since 2013 and he helped me understand League. Unlike most streamers he was very positive and helpful.

[@karrrot]

hating your physical appearance is such an important and rarely talked about topic, this helped me tremendously but I wish it went even deeper - hopefully he will be on again! Dr K please talk more about the cognitive bias of thinking you are unlovable because of the way you look, based on people telling you that all your life. How does someone overcome this and learn to not feel like garbage every time you look in the mirror?

[@MrBaumgratz]

Dr. K is op, holy shit, what a good interview. I think a lot of people would benefit from this, I certainly did. Really happy for Scarra, I am 100% sure this helped him and he fucking deserves.

[@ezy5138]

One of the first interviews I've watched the entirety of - super helpful. It was really interesting to see Scarra's thought processes and how they progressed over the course. Huge thanks to both Scarra and Dr. K !

[@ponidecthulhu]

I hate this idea that just because you don't think you're good enough, you can't be good for anyone else either. Like, in which way having a cloudy judgement can make you unworthy of being loved? Just because you have low self-esteem, doesn't mean someone else can't see how wonderful you are, and therefore, help you see that part of yourself you can't find anymore.

[@Alesanascreamokid]

Absolutely

[@Datan1234]

You misunderstand. He’s convinced he isn’t a good guy. He seems pretty self confident. Which means he thinks his judgment is accurate, and ey who knows oneself better than anybody else? Scarra only That he doesn’t, that’s the travesty of this

[@lucasinator]

I think its more about if u have low self-esteem the relationship will be toxic because u dont believe your so loves u and you will self sabotage to prove your belief right. Maybe.

[@vilhelmkron2663]

Ofc but he has to like them too, and in his mind its impossible for them and he to like them. Foolish comment imo.

[@itorres008]

1:23:00 It's difficult if not impossible and definitely counter-productive to talk about this online. He likes someone who he feels may get rejected by. Doesn't try because of fear of rejection, which most of us have, but it's kind of obvious it's someone he works/lives with/is friends with and if he tries and it doesn't work it would make it weird in the house, possibly lead to losing a friend and screwing up the business. People who don't get out much or spend a lot of time in something alone, don't meet a lot of people. Then they/we end up attracted to the people we are thrown into a situation with - like work, a class, whatever - it's all they have.

[@CapeEniEer]

omg i was grinding on a game and started tearing up when Scarra started thanking Dr.K, then I minimised the game and saw Dr.K tearing up too

[@connorholmes8786]

1:14:47 ‘ the more variables our mind adds to the equation the more bs it’s feeding’ ~ this explains why I often get to the root or some of the deep underlying emotions/samskaras and then start filling in and dodging towards the little nitty gritty details and recollections

[@c-thrukrypton6508]

Scarra is such a strong person its unbelievable. He never lets any of it show on stream...

[@arrtoan]

50:31 Amazing technique! Love Dr. K's response to "right now or about certain things?"

[@zhangdynasty1486]

Just today I woke up and wanted to see OTV meet with dr. K I have developed a third eye for this channel 👁 👁 👄 👁

[@ODDERBOTTER]

Dr. K's point about taking on negative traits as we grow finally put into words my struggle with changing as a person. There are bad qualities that I would like to shed, but I was fearing that I would be the type of person I dislike, but I'm realizing that it's necessary. Like for example, I want to be more social and I fear if I'm more outgoing, I might be "That annoying guy" if I approach people more, but to become more sociable, I have to understand that I may have to be that guy in some judgmental person's eyes if I want to get myself out there more

[@TheDhammaHub]

It really helps to experience that what you do matters - even the small things have an effect and it is possible to change things for the better

[@Yochoc]

17:22 'at leaast in the top of north america LOL even in a very serious interview about mental health, one of the *few* true NA mids to even make it to worlds still bashes on the region. This is why I'm a fan of Scarra

[@tripalon3]

The level of verbal and cognitive big brain battle that was going on here is next level insane for people who understand

[@harambe1331]

Its pretty emotional too like dr. k said they both lead to the same place, whether we call it logic or emotions. And im not talking about how to logically build a mechanical structurally sound bridge or whatever, im talking about this "talk" and why they feel they have to rationalize something in the first place

[@turolretar]

Oh yeah it’s big brain time

[@daiseysays]

I have no idea who the this Scarra is and seems to be certainly courageous to do this live and really wonderful to allow other be helped by it. To a random observer such as myself there is no reason this Scarra should wait any longer than has to share this bit of wonderful whatever and experience it with another how ever it plays out in life. This Dr K- I’ve watched a couple and is neat how he does this online AND streamed. Thought about this many a time and only saw constraints; this is a solid way to work around constraints and offer much many

[@SuperEnderSteve]

Its actually so insane that they both can appreciate each other on such a deep level just after talking for 2 hours. My Mind = Blown

[@seansullivan5135]

I didn't even know who this guy was, but I fuck with him now. Literally spoke the truth with all the good , bad , and everything in between. It takes an adult to acknowledge and find acceptance for who they are. Good to see the strive for self-improvement 🙏💯

[@camilletiongson871]

This beautiful person 🥺 always thinking about his friends and their happiness 😭❤️❤️

[@orpheos9]

1:09:18 I love this interaction. It's so sharp on both sides but also very emotional

[@sp0pie928]

i've noticed while a lot of my friends are grinding ranked they adopt the mentality that they can't become too complacent with their rate of growth-like the uncertainty principle where if you acknowledge your skill level's position you lose an accurate grasp of your momentum. AKA talk shit get hit, be humble (sometimes self-deprecating), and never stop to admit that you're "good" at anything that in conjunction with the idea that you aren't ready to meet someone until you're "good" enough is a recipe to setting yourself up to never make that first move. i feel like everyone deserves to experience love and a relationship in which they can be vulnerable and face aspects where you might not ever be good enough, and have that person love you just the same. And if that love grows or evolves in some direction you can't anticipate now, that's okay too.

[@WolfHunter732]

My mind was blown with that motivational interviewing just seeing how when making them attack there selfs because in the mind there has to be someone defending and someone "attacking" but then because attacking your self you know what is really true and begin to say only what is really true as your attack but you then begin to notice what you're saying.

[@whisperedshadow868]

the "being not good enough for someone else when i already feel like i'm not good enough for myself." hit me so fucking hard. i relate

[@kyuuketsukikun420]

this has been so helpful. i also never knew how much i had in common with scarra as far as mindset and self esteem

[@ethancollins7575]

Goodness there is not a kinder more entertaining person in the lol community than scarra. He deserves the world and more. Awesome interview

[@HopeBarger08]

10:55 this is the "fixer" mentality, and it's beneficial for getting things done and fixing root problems. My husband is very much a "fixer" and yes, sometimes people just want to connect by venting. It's hard for someone that is very logical for sure

[@F.Castle]

wow man that conversation was a whole other level.

[@kylespevak6781]

24:24 I'm like this except the "fuck off" vibe. If someone has a problem, I'll feel bad and be empathetic, so my natural reaction is to want to make things better, so I give them solutions