What Everyone Gets WRONG About INFJs

[@lovewho]

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[@NoxiousNova]

I hate when people say we are detached from reality. From other's perspective, it SEEMS like we are out of touch with reality. I have come to find that countless times people say I'm overthinking or over analyzing things and creating ideas in my head that aren't true, only to find out much later on that I've always been right. It's a reoccuring theme. I've since then learned to just completely ignore anyone who says I'm overthinking a situation too much. No, no I am not..... You are just not seeing what I am seeing.

[@dianewagner5467]

I’m going through this right now.

[@doriaware2965]

People have a hard time seeing that we have the big picture, not understanding how we got there!

[@wst.3670]

Amen. We are picking up on things others aren't. Even if we don't know YET ourselves what it is we're picking up- we trust our senses/gut. We are usually right. But are looked down on bc they don't believe us.

[@summuspoetamaximusdante8504]

Most people don't question the "whys" and the "hows". This is why they're not capable of keeping up with Ni, which looks for the root causes and predicts their effects. This is something that people rarely ever try to do. In fact, when they do have a problem, they usually just ignore it: they don't know how to tackle it in their mind because it is unused to it and so unarmed. We are just deeper and therefore different, hence the misunderstandings.

[@SmittenKitten.]

I don't enjoy diffusing arguments, but I do it because a quiet atmosphere is the best atmosphere. If there's any tension within my purview, even if it has nothing to do with me, it's like a needle poking my brain telling me to "handle it."

[@h.e.l623]

I've been accused of not being a "real" INFJ for this very reason. hahaha "REAL infj's HATE conflict!" Well yeah I don't like conflict. Obviously. I wish everyone paid as much attention to everyone else's micro-expressions as I do BUT that's never going to happen. So it's like, if you're going to be spoiling the atmosphere with your black stormy rainclouds over your head, don't be surprised when I try to help resolve the thundering. Temporary conflict to resolve an issue is much easier to deal with than hours of silently fuming people damaging my carefully cultivated calm. lol

[@fortune_roses]

I'm INTJ. Closest people in my life are *INFJs* & INFPs ♡ PS: Never betray an INFJ. They're loyal but can be surprisingly vengeful if truly crossed. You're welcome. Update: I wasn't on the receiving end but a witness. Those saying "They do nothing" please speak for yourselves :D All INFJs are different and some of them certainly do. Also "vengeance" means *vastly different things* to different people.

[@christian1172-z9e]

Being vengeful is a character flaw, not a personality trait. Meeting a couple of INFJs who are vengeful and deciding it’s a trait of the type itself is an inductive fallacy.

[@gabrielgryziak7926]

well i still agree that you should not betray an infj regardless of whether they happen to be vengeful or not i think that in most cases they just simply tend to be a good person to have around not to mention generally betrayal is frankly disgusting if you don’t have the gut to openly cross someone you once have been close with and go behind their back instead you’re a coward and you didn’t deserve that closeness in the first place side note: i’m a intj with infj sister and can’t imagine purposely doing anything to hurt her and she’s not vengeful at all i just think she doesn’t deserve to be mistreated

[@solarisan_]

Door slam. But it translates into: You are toxic and I will shut down your venomous presence from my life.

[@fortune_roses]

@branver1172 "Vengeful" isn't often a personality trait, but usually a reaction to something. And the concept of "revenge" is attributed to many things - but "a character flaw" isn't something I'd generalize as what it stems from

[@alicejwho]

I'm INFJ and I agree!

[@JokerCrowe]

When saying INFJs "avoid conflict," some people might think that it means that we "run away as soon as voices are raised." However, I see it more like "avoiding a tree when driving a car." That is to say, we keep an eye out for potential points of conflict - using Ni and Fe - and if we see something approaching, we quickly resolve the misunderstanding before it grows into a conflict. Or sometimes we redirect the conversation entirely if we know that the people involved won't back down. Like you said, Nathan, we don't run away. We solve.

[@sara.the.muggle]

I agree. When amid the conflict, I get anxiety and the overwhelming sensation of fear because I grew up in a violent household. When I do see something that will inevitably cause a conflict, I feel responsible for solving it peacefully, even sacrificing my comfort to appease both parties.

[@DTheHAge]

Exactly. It's a skill, not an avoidance. Also we don't tend to have these destructive fights that start with "You did..." and/or fights about whose fault it is.

[@riyajacob2909]

Towards the end,he say that....we got to war for finding peace.

[@justinwhite2725]

I have a tendency to go out of my way to do things to mitigate potential conflict, and of something has been a conflict on the past I tend to proactively avoid that situation in the future. For example - every time I take a bath I tell my roommates just in case they have a need to use the bathroom. My roommate always tells me he doesn't care when I tell him, but at least he has the opportunity to go beforehand. I'm the person that will be aware of my surroundings enough at a grocery store to get out of other people's way. I'll even pretend that I'm not wanting to cross a certain street so that cars can go and then I'll double back to cross when the coast is clear.

[@cycnus39able78]

My sister (INFJ) and myself (INTJ) together make the perfect witnesses to any incident/crime! She always pays attention to the people detail whereas I pay attention the chain of events.

[@justinfernandez4309]

INFJ/INTJ siblings.. man… I’d feel unstoppable if I had that dynamic with my siblings.

[@sagemaster1357]

The perfect crime duo. Funny thing is it'll actually make a great story lol

[@signalfire15]

My brother is INFJ and I am INTJ. We are best friends!!

[@signalfire15]

@@justinfernandez4309it is amazing!!!

[@Ann963]

I think Simon and River from Firefly are considered INFJ/INTJ siblings too! 😊

[@sagemaster1357]

As an INFJ I have this resting bitch face and I sometimes have to look happy so that people don't think I'm angry. And I more empathetic to other peoples emotions rather then my own but I also have deep emotions for things like music, movies or the arts.

[@sara.the.muggle]

I have resting sad face. People often ask me why I look so sad. Of course, we feel the need to look happy for other people, but it can be exhausting!

[@stevepeterson5943]

Ha yup. I plaster a huge smile on my face, while having my coffee on my lone drive into town. My aim is that if I do it sufficiently, it will stick for a while at least, and I'll pass as a pleasant person . . . which j actually am : ) Happy New Year

[@sagemaster1357]

@@stevepeterson5943 Happy new year ( I know, 1 month late lol)

[@doriaware2965]

I tell people it's my thinking face, ha ha.

[@janetleeadams7287]

That is so funny. True for me too, but I didn't realize it until a friend told me. I am a teacher and mentioned to a friend that I thought my students were afraid of me. He said, 'That's because you have a resting bitch face ! ' Really I was relieved to hear that and tried to manage my face better in class. In fact, it is the same face as my mom. She was a store manager and was taken very seriously, but she never let her employees know that she really cared about them.

[@lunanor]

Thank you for describing INFJs in a real way

[@samuelmyllyaho6066]

My dad's friend's (entp) wife is an Infj. One factor that may affect them being stereotyped as 'not being in reality', is that they don't talk a lot unless they really have something to say. To me their observational nature sometimes seems like they're judging and thus I sometimes feel intimidated by 'em

[@koylejeune4332]

We are more often thinking. More than we would like in some of those situations.

[@solarisan_]

Highly unlikely that you are being “judged” in a sense that scares you. The standard I use to scrutinize myself is lowered by thousand times when it comes to others. However, abstract thinking does work in such way that it needs to gather information first before making decision/judgement. Perhaps that is why. But the ultimate reason is not so you can be placed in a box and labeled as X or Y. Or, God forbid, use such info against you. It is for the sake of understanding the process “behind the scenes” that is not visible or always expressed through words (What motivates you? Are your words and actions coherent? Why do you believe in X, Y or Z?). Why not try to talk to them first? Ask them questions. Talk about ideas. You will see that actually the essence is rather childlike (although might be kept away and stored as precious at first).

[@TeraHammer]

Well described! 'The stare' is notoriously intimidating while being purely observational, too.

[@keqling7086]

as an INFJ i confirm we like observing a lot but i don't really judge people that much even tho it might look like it

[@eden1909]

That last one really helped me see myself in a different light.. It's also super accurate. I'm very much in tune with reality, just in a different way than others might be. Also my ESTP and ENFJ friends caused me to open up over the course of MANY years.. I recommend every INFJ to find safe friends to open up to. It's really helpful for personal growth. They can hold you accountable and help you avoid pitfalls.. you can't do it all by yourself, INFJ. 😊

[@bengaltiger8435]

Merry Christmas! Thank you so much for helping this 61 yr understand herself. I spent my life looking into the world, and not feeling like I was a part of the world.

[@solarisan_]

In case you read this comment, I hope you feel like you are part of the world now and that you matter. Merry Christmas to you as well ❄️☃️🤗

[@Alexandra-uk4vr]

You're not alone, even though it might feel like it. The good news is that our label (INFJ) can be a pathway to making sense of ourselves and finally getting the answers we've been tormented with. I'm forever grateful for finding Nathan and his insights into our chaotic minds, explaining nearly our whole identity so eloquently it's as if it's been written just for you. And me. We're on the same boat. I wish you all the very best. ❤

[@riyajacob2909]

We are also great people and deserve a well lived life just like any one . Merry Christmas 🎄 to you . Fellow INFJ

[@jaimeflor4181]

Yeah, I’m not emotional in the way that’s typically considered emotional. In fact, I thought I was a thinker when I was younger. If I do express my emotions, it’s usually only w/ someone I’m involved w/ romantically via writing or music. As for being diplomatic & disconnected w/ the real world, this is very true. I work & study in the sociology and counseling fields. Being present in the real world, being detailed & focused on my own emotions, has always been challenging. Although as I’ve gotten older, I’ve become a little bit better w/ Se and shadow functions like Fi.

[@lisaoutinen8692]

Life overwhelms me and I do get emotional.

[@Z1nny]

Hugs ❤

[@yoongoongi4349]

My INTP coworker made the mistake of thinking I’m not emotional because he’s not a hint of emotional and I must have been just mirroring his ways to make him feel comfortable and then when I had a bad period in life and was EXTREMELY emotional he wasn’t respecting my feelings and I grew to hate him lol My aunt also thinks I’m this really strong, stoic person because I don’t share that side of myself with her because she’s tough and I don’t feel it would be received well and she always says, “You’re like me, tough and no nonsense.” I mean I cried for three hours on Saturday but sure lol

[@mokari9268]

Just say you're emotional and not stoic. It's ok.

[@RenaissanceRockerBoy]

Thank you so much for this video! One of the most difficult parts of being an INFJ is feeling simultaneously too logical to be a feeler and too emotional to be a pure thinker. I’m often attracted to the cool logic of INTJs, but find most INTPs too logical and unnecessarily dismissive of the feelings of others. INFJs are put together as very similar to INFPs, but in my experience we’re completely different. INFJs feel much more like a strange combination of an INTJ and ENTP (and some ENFJ) than anything else lmao. Unless they’re evolved enough, I tend to find INFPs entirely too weepy and unable to stand up for themselves (not an insult, simply an observation; mature INFPs are lovely). In my experience, mature INFJs are basically nothing like the stereotypes you mentioned in the video. As the most extroverted introvert type, we can eventually come off as extremely confident and charismatic (again, a strange combination of an INTJ and an ENTP), but always with that uncanny sense of knowing that we have about people and situations. But gods, I am so tired of INFJs being described as fragile and quiet 😭 The reason we make good therapists (especially when we learn to enforce boundaries) is that we don’t only know things about people or feel compassionate, but we can see and tell the truths people need to hear. We have steel in us which becomes more clear as we evolve. You’d think from descriptions we were some sort of inflatable gas station creature. Although those are amusing, they aren’t particularly accurate. Once we work through the (seemingly universal) childhood trauma and anxiety, INFJs tend to be fairly well-equipped for life and standing up for our beliefs (any situation except for loud parties with people we don’t know though, lmao ).

[@t.6071]

❤❤❤❤

[@pjotrkolster]

I really needed to read this, today... Well put, for sure!

[@sara.the.muggle]

I scan people so much that it can be exhausting. I anticipate the different ways that people may react to a stimulus based on my observations of their facial expressions, tone of voice, words, and body movements. I'm wondering if this scanning comes from fear or simply observation. Also, do any infjs have moments of "Holy crap, this is reality?" It's a sensation similar to waking up from a dream. It's like the air around me shifts and physical reality hits me like a ton of bricks. Inside our heads is so much more comforting. Maybe we are in the matrix 😂

[@rayanbahsoun]

I agree with both parts 🙌🏼 You put so many emotions and thoughts into words! Being that aware of people is exhausting. And that reality moment happens to me sometimes. It feels like that moment you take a deep breath after holding it for long

[@TailedThief]

All the time. These moments as if unveil the curtains for things that have been there in front of my nose all this time, but I wasn't consciously aware of them, and when I finally consciously see that part of reality it feels very weird to suddenly "be pulled into the real world" like that. The real world, and how it truthfully and factually is, suddenly pulls itself to the forefront of my attention (I start feeling like I'm actually in this room, in this park, in this situation, among these real physical and relationship things that are happening around me), whereas usually it's always my inner world that's the focus of my perception (my inner thoughts, and my plan of action for the given situation), even when I'm among people. When reality is drawn to the forefront like that, it's like my inner world temporarily retracts to the background. Soon after I always go back to the default, but that moment of "a different kind of awareness" / "feeling like you were now awake from a dream" is very insightful to think back on later, and brings many eureka realisations with it.

[@Lalalein]

This is spot on, as always! I'm definitely focused on other people's emotions and very much a receiver/sponge in this sense... however, when it comes to my own emotions I'm quite disconnected from them as my inner world is so Ti and I always rationalise my feelings. The Fe very much ties me to people/the real world and I do wish I could cut that cord sometimes... I'd also say I'm a perfectionist when it comes to the sensory world. While I tend to be conflict-avoidant in many ways, if I do engage in a conflict, so to speak, I always do it in what I deem the most diplomatic and effective way as I would like to resolve the conflict calmly, maturely, and peacefully, and hopefully create a better outcome for all parties involved.

[@mokari9268]

Ni: does it matter in the whole scheme of things (seen as conflict avoidant)... it does help however to have conflict resolution skills... which requires practice. Fe: Receptive of other people's perspective... or values (what they find important). Ti: what is the wisest and most sensible way to approach live's problems... while building community and social wellbeing. SE: THIS IS ALL A PIPEDREAM, go out an live a little!! Look better, feel better, and WHAT are you DOING about it?!?!

[@ZNIR777]

Why is this so accurate 😂

[@sarahlouiza7252]

This reminds me of the time i walked into a fistfight between two drivers and within 2 minutes had them apologising, laughing at jokes and moving their cars out the way ... Not even because i cared i just wanted to get home because i was hungry 😅

[@hp078]

Mum, I am being stalked

[@natedoggsaidit]

sensitve but not emotional. 💯

[@afrosamourai400]

What's the difference?

[@pavithraselvaraj4]

​@@afrosamourai400You are touched by something but you don't necessarily express it in front of others

[@afrosamourai400]

@@pavithraselvaraj4 thanks, it makes sense..

[@ZTRCTGuy]

New video idea: 16 personalities as musical instruments. Allow me the pleasure of making a few suggestions. ISTJ: Piano. often solo, neat, orderly, where every detail or note matters. INFJ: Harp. soft, being able to enchant other people with it's beauty, yet surprisingly tricky to play. INTJ: Pipe Organ. Requires lot's of planning to play, being able to summon an entire orchestra completely alone, and niche. ESFP: Violin, very expressive and often well heard in orchestra's. ENTP: Electric Guitar. Can be loud and abbrasive (in a good way), yet usually found playing along with other instruments. ESTP: Trumpet. Being heard over most instruments, rarely found solo, being able to bring life into any situation.

[@grumpyschnauzer]

Thank you for the Christmas gift of understanding us and communicating us authentically and precisely to the world. 😊

[@grumpyschnauzer]

These are all spot on. My favorite: "Those who want peace, should prepare for war." When I was a kid I'd often have to fight my noisy ESFP sister to obtain peace and harmony. Backwards, I know... but that's how she communicated and resolved issues. I'd cry after because I loved my sister and didn't want to fight her for peace but back then that was the nature of my family. They'd put boxing gloves on us to resolve our issues. Whenever there was conflict in the home, I'd watch and mediate interpreting both sides to understand each other better between parent and child. Today, I've introduced personality type as a way to communicate more effectively with my sister and my SO our differences. It provided me with the language I needed to bridge the gaps. Today, I am a therapist. My SO calls me "The Wolf" from Pulp Fiction, someone who perfectionistic-ally gets things done.

[@jakenolt8561]

You are the best, Nathan. Merry secular Christmas from this INFJ!

[@JackieKay11]

Awesome and spot on, as usual Nathan 👍 ~ INFJ

[@roxannemcallean9541]

The last point was very accurate. I tend to be overly aware of my surroundings to know the atmosphere around the room and act accordingly. The moment I feel like it’s safe to ‘let go’ or when I finally feel too overwhelmed, I will start to disconnect myself from reality and get trapped inside my head. By then anyone who approaches me will make me startle even though they do it noticably (not for me sadly) 😂

[@heltrym]

Thank you so much for your work, dedication and passion you put into those incredible videos, Nathan. You have such a talent at "reading" 16 types. I'm now going to watch the video. ❤ Sincerely, an INFJ-T

[@LL-muddy1]

Splendiferous Festivus! Thank you Nathan for once again getting where our weird little brains are coming from. And for ALL of your consistently insightful & quality content!

[@karibu333]

Put the spotlight on me. Here I am for freedom, truth and visions. Thank you for the videos, like them alot. And to get in action. Merry Christmas 🙏

[@bookscriptstuffs9663]

Though, I think if anyone is constantly living in conflict every day, they are bound to start avoiding it like the plague. Especially Fe users, since it would become too much for them. So, I think depending on the variables, some of these could be true, but it wouldn't be healthy usage, of course.

[@seahoneywav]

Speaking as an INFJ and from my experience: if I don’t feel safe around you, I won’t be outwardly expressive. It’s not that I’m not emotional (or that I’m “hiding” my true feelings), it’s that I’m emotionally attuned and I’ve learnt that not everyone has the capacity to hold space for all/certain emotions.

[@akkiishere]

Does it happen with anybody else that they're experiencing something quite emotional, but then immediately, the brain goes to describing it in words/language and bypasses feeling the emotion altogether? It's like, the temporal lobe is taking over and bypassing the limbic system. That is a big struggle in learning about my emotions. For others though, I can recognise pretty quickly what they must be feeling

[@ljbd8891]

Being an Infj myself, u have done an excellent job explaining the traits, really accuracte and fascinating, merry Christmas 🎄

[@oracle__21]

I'm an infj and one thing I've noticed about myself is that I hardly feel emotions when it concerns myself, I find it very hard to feel my emotions, understand or make sense of them. If I've ever felt sad, frustrated or angry, it's usually been bcos of someone or situations involving other people. I think the infj existence is too complicated for the average mind to phantom or conceive.

[@BiblicallyHandle]

Yes, I agree with the emotions portion totally. With Ti child, I think we’re much more aware of our own thoughts than inner emotions.

[@DeltaVe]

As an INFP, I can relate to this video quite strongly in several ways. I especially relate to the first point about being emotional. People generalize INFPs as crybabies, but I generally do not display my emotions on my face, except for humor or joy. This leads many to misread my emotions, and others rarely inquire about what I'm feeling.

[@olivia-performanceartist3693]

Merry Christmas everybody xx

[@infj4w511]

I'm not sure knowing people and how they are is that similar to being in touch with reality. We know people and how they are, and we know how to react to them in order to achieve harmony. But being in touch with reality, or even being in touch with people, that sounds a lot more intense. Reality includes a lot of socio-emotional disharmony: from disagreement to sexual tension to jealousy to failure, disappointment, shame, guilt, and loss of purpose, community, and identity. I avoid experiencing those parts of reality at all costs by detaching and avoiding risks. I know people, and I know what happens in reality, But knowing doesn't equal being in touch with it.

[@HM-pn8iu]

Thanks Nathan. Happy Christmas!

[@DoriterEater]

I kind of think the stereotype of us being self-sacrificing is overblown. If you are a real one I will stand by your side, but I know when I am just enabling someone at my own expense. I am confrontational whilst being in extreme internal agony, I just want to tough it out and find solutions. I am not extremely warm. I feel the pain of other’s and can express empathy, but I am not necessarily actively always seeing how I can make someone feel better. I don’t have a drive to solve people’s momentary emotions, I’m thinking about how I can prevent them in the future.

[@riyajacob2909]

May be it varies from person to person.i was though sacrificing but it was kind of a cultural,family programming which I left behind .

[@DoriterEater]

@@riyajacob2909 Right, I think INFJs do tend to detach from self and take on other people's problems naturally. There are definitely other factors at play that would effect how much someone does this. Some people tend to believe there is no limit to this. As if we would take a bullet for a complete stranger lol.

[@periwinkle3448]

Interesting, this came up just after one of your videos on ISTPs versus INTPs. You’re reading our mail so to speak - I’m an INTP with ISTP, INFJ, and ENTP adult children. My husband is an ESFJ; the poor guy didn’t know what hit him, but he survived.

[@kmoyao50]

May I suggest doing one on ESFJs, I've noticed they make for the perfect host, especially for major events on a global scale and grand stages.

[@aga7229]

Oh no worries, I am already subscribing 💁‍♀️

[@amber7338]

Merry Christmas, Nathan🎄✨️

[@jofromoz]

Thank you, another insightful aspect of us injj brought to life, spot on😊

[@solarisan_]

Merry Christmas 🎄🎁 🎉 Enjoy the festive season. Rest well so you can soon feel better. ✨🙏🏻

[@sysf9772]

I love your infj videos ❤

[@shikhasuman871]

This video was a wonderful Christmas present !!!🎁🎉😌🎄❤️

[@justinwhite2725]

Thanks for this. I was moved ny your video earlier a while back about INFJs who are mistyped as INTPs. I concluded that was me and havent yet learned what that means. 1:11 this, though. One of the things thats always been accurate for me os that im an eneageammic 9, not a 5 like most INTPs. I think beong an Enneagramic 9 might be a sogn that an INTP is actually an INFJ. At least it was for me. Everything in this video is accurate to me.

[@Kroww_01]

Thanks for the Xmas present

[@bargainbassist]

I'm an INFJ with an ISTJ spouse. Without preface, she can utter one word and I will audibly complete the rest of her sentence, something that usually surprises her. On the other hand, when she tries to complete my sentences, she ALWAYS gets them wrong. And, I can smell a conflict brewing between my wife and my 20-something ENTP daughter from a mile away, a silent tempest stirring. And, in the heat of their boisterous row, when I try to be the peacemaker based on my recognizing that one part of the equation one of them is not seeing in the other, they both make me regret that I even tried. Ten minutes later, they're besties again. I feel like the counselor who can coolly and objectively understand where each of them is coming from, but also the handyman (typical man thing?) who feels compelled to give unsolicited advice to resolve the problem as part of my obsession with peace. Not an easy life sometimes, lol.

[@lesyablackbird]

what a lovely Christmas gift =)

[@arlettasloan6453]

1. I cry a lot, about what happened to other people I grieve for the pain of other people. I am not other people, so it doesn't apply to me. Friends I trusted, Oh my ... I cried about the guy with the speech impediment in Kids in the Hall. "I'm so lonely!" That poor guy. I also laughed about it. However, most of the time they were both on the inside.

[@serban2139]

I understand the first 2, but holy shit who thinks infjs are disconected from reality?!

[@serban2139]

@@ოChiamariaო SE dom, understandable. Relatively speaking, sure.

[@bekster081305]

All of these are spot on -INFJ

[@jennilove912]

New Subscriber. This video was me to a T! Thank you for sharing. I look forward to exploring more of your content!!!❤

[@totorishop]

Thank you Nathan! Keep up the amazing work

[@kyurei4478]

What people usually miss about the Fe function is that it ties you to people so as an INFJ it can make you connected to reality by procuration because they are and you care about what they care about through their feelings so you can easily be indirectly. It's great for open-mindedness and wisdom to be interested in everyone's perspective.

[@johnknight9150]

All the INFJs I know are stoic. Re: the INFJ's use of Ti, I think INFJs are possibly the best argument for Jung's model over MBTI, where the middle two functions are both classified as Auxiliary, rather than a strict 2nd and 3rd slot differentiation. I know my INTP-like INFJ best friend would certainly fall under this category. I think we keep having to clumsily shoehorn people into the MBTI system, with lengthy explanations about the third function, but with two Auxiliary functions instead, I think a lot of our typing problems get solved immediately.

[@TailedThief]

your observed corrently. There is a good theory that the 2nd and 3rd functions for all types can be equally "preferred" by a person. Sometimes the 3rd function is even preferred over the 2nd. That's one thing worth considering. But there's also another thing! Ni doms, like INFJ and INTJ, have their 2nd and 3rd functions (Fe, Ti for INFJ; Te, Fi for INTJ) be "boosted" by Ni. Ni doesn't exist on its own, it always works in tandem with other functions. It works off of information gathered by those judging functions in the stack (or all of them, really). The result effect is that the 2nd and 3rd functions become more pronounced, are both strongly preferred by the person, because of the Ni.

[@johnknight9150]

@@TailedThiefAren't all functions influenced by other functions? Couldn't the same argument be made for any other lead function, not just Ni?

[@zzc8505]

It would be very interesting to hear your take on the difference between INFJ and ISFJ. Would you be interested in sharing your thoughts on that? Particularly, how do you understand the difference between Ni and Si. Can't find anything sufficiently clear and coherent on that. Thank you!

[@ZeddicusAWR]

I think reality itself is misconstrued. If I am detached from a reality someone else is experiencing, well, that happens a lot and I’m sure we all have our own versions of reality. So with that in mind, is it not okay to be detached from reality? It seems we all want to apologize for our weaknesses, and I say we should own them. If I am detached from reality, but succeeding in getting by, and doing okay for myself - why feel bad for not sharing other people’s opinion of what reality is, versus just accepting my own reality is all that I personally need not be too detached from.

[@trinaq]

Happy Holidays, Nathan, and Best Wishes for 2024! Thank you very much for your insightful videos, they always give us a lot to think about. 🥰

[@firespawnie537]

I ve noticed two big flaws during my interactions with INFJs(i've interacted with a lot of 'em). 1.I often catch them do the strawman fallacy in debates or arguements. 2.When they have a problem with a person they love , they may not address it directly with the person, but may affect the surroundings of the person to make him/her understand that the INFJ is upset with him/her. I usually see passive aggressive manipulation from 'em and they may also get very vengeful.Or another example is when they dont like their close friend or love partner interact with another person a lot which can make an INFJ feel left out, then they try indirectly to make their loved one to cut communication with the other person. And they also do the same when that 3rd person can call out the INFJ's manipulation to prevent him/her to reveal it to their loved person.

[@totorishop]

Sadly true. You’re describing an unhealthy INFJ. My INFJ mother does all those things you mentioned and for many years now. But a healthy one doesn’t do those things and is closer to Nathan’s video description.

[@noraxxi]

Thanks that makes so much sense

[@sweetea6550]

thats true. everything people get wrong about infj is in this video and usually comes after narrator says this words: akshually

[@Mynameisntme]

I'm an intp, i have an infj classmate which is really smart and logical. But if you dont know her, on the outside she looks so emotional although she is pretty cruel and serious when talking about concepts, also she is very very deep and is able to analyze concepts and people in a way that no one has ever thought abouy. I think they're just tongue biters and protect themselves from being naked in society ( thats what she told me.) Also she is an atheist like me, i dont understand why stereotypes want to portray them as Jesus.

[@mokari9268]

Well having Ti child, doesn't help... you guys are ruthless and cruel with no patience when dismantling INFJ reasoning. I'm actually quite surprised LoveWho is so kind and generous when describing INFJs, idk why or if it's even a strategic move to get more views lol

[@kalinadesseaux8011]

Thanks 💕

[@junemacauley6813]

This is Very good!

[@vs1146]

This shit is why I'll never know if I'm an INTP or an INFJ.

[@LL-muddy1]

You might be a 4w5 or 5w4 INFJ. I relate to many INTP characteristics & am a INFJ 5w4

[@Daeva83B]

i find the few infj's that i know quite cold.. But i think now.. it's internal, i don't see it/notice it. At first they attract me, but i notice... how that attraction fades. While i can discuss horrible things and find it fascinating (death, addiction, loss, pain, war, mental illness) they seem to shut down, it's too much.. it's too negative, I sense the same, i feel the same, but my curiosity is stronger. And it's human nature, it's my interest. The funny thing is, they are not cold, but i think my 'hardcoreness' is too much for them, so to me, i cannot really open up, because i will push them away with my darkness and honesty (it's my truth, you know?). ~INFP

[@momo.that.quacks]

umm sorry but the way you put it looks like you don't actually see why the INFJs appear to 'shut down'. It's funny that you say they are pushed away by your darkness, whatever that means lol. For eg, the INFPs I know love to talk over these things too, but the way these discussions play out with them is a big turn off for me. I can understand their curiosity and fascination but just circling around the possibilities with no direction is childish and naive, at least to me. That's one of the reasons I try to avoid having these conversations with my INFP friends. It's the Ni/Ne dissonance.

[@Daeva83B]

No no, no sorries, you don't owe me any! 😉But thank you, you are at least explaining it to me and you are correct, i don't see, i don't get it. Because they start so open and are so listening to what i have to say and that's only in the honeymoon phase (in the beginning, male/female, it doesn't matter) Being a support (INFP) i also need support sometimes and i used to talk to 2 lovely INFJ girls for years, but i had my fair and share of troubles lately and i need to share it with somebody and i used to do it with them. But i see a pattern now, i tend to lose the INFJ's at some point, they just can't hack it, in my opinion.. they can't handle it anymore. I am guessing that they start to feel what i feel and it's not nice. I am angry, i am frustrated, (that's why i need to talk and share in the first place, i am looking for feedback, i am stuck in my loop) But i guess they do shut down at some point, and to me that's perceived as cold and i've been ignored for too long now that i shutdown and i am not sharing anything anymore. Now they are losing me... But... fair point, even in my reply to you i was writing in circles. Had to delete my previous reply and start over, haha. That could be it, i am not super familiar with this system, i just use it as handy tool for self-development. But now that i think about it. The Ni/Ne dissonance. It makes sense, i see it now, i guess. (You know, the more i think, write & delete, the more i realise that i am the problem.. 🤣) @@momo.that.quacks

[@momo.that.quacks]

@@Daeva83B I'm sorry to hear that. Hope you heal from the things you do not talk about. Yes, INFJs can shut down at some point. Being Fe users, we absorb the vibes and feelings of the people around us. We are so focused on reading the room that we have a hard time making sense of our own feelings. If the people around us are having 'negative' emotions, we try to understand them and find a solution to help them feel better, and thus help ourselves feel better too. But sometimes things don't work out, and we feel the constant pressure and guilt for not being able to improve the situation. Then we would shut down, or move away from the people or spaces concerned. It's not a very healthy way of dealing with problems, but is helpful in the short term. The degree to which the INFJ is affected would obviously vary, but yes, they are affected.

[@Daeva83B]

Thx, it's all good. It's just life. ;) Yeah thx, i think i see it now and i do agree with you, don't think it's super healthy way of dealing with problems, but i also understand that i might be a bit overwhelming at times, especially when i am not in a good place. @@momo.that.quacks

[@jbhalodia]

Wow I love this!! So accurate

[@XavierGuillaume]

I met a guy who I think was an INFJ. He was super political and he got super controlling when I told him I couldn't vote bc I didn't have time to go to the DMV to get my new license. He basically told me I had to and there was no excuse and I needed to do everything and all possible so I could vote. And I was just like, dude I am working every day this week. The DMV is literally not open when I am free. I tried to explain it to him, but it was like his ears were completely closed. He went on a tirade how important it was to vote and how there was no excuse. Needless to say I told him I didn't want to be friends with him any longer.

[@Mr3kiwis]

That doesn't sound like something an INFJ would do. More an ESTJ.

[@riyajacob2909]

INFJ narcissist?

[@Chillipep]

Lol, oh really? He might've been an INFJ and then you attach all these negative things to him? What quakery.

[@aekorfker]

Very very accurate 👌

[@UndeadAlv]

I love this video so much

[@raycaster4398]

We INFJs know your past, what you are feeling and thinking, your wants and weaknesses. We won't hesitate to go over to the dark side to masterly manipulate the situation, then come back again. All while smiling and speaking pleasantly. Some of us take great pleasure in being diabolical.

[@Jornanfuentes]

I was wondering: "What are types that are most likely to get mistyped?" Since some types are rally good at fitting into what their environment what that ... They geniusly function on that unatural being as it was who they are.

[@justinwhite2725]

Check out the video on INFJs mistyped as INTPs. Really opened my eyes because it applied to me (which is why I'm on this video to try to understand INFJ better) INFJs were once considered to be the rarest type. I now don't think that's true, I just think they are undercounted because most of them are mistyped.

[@Jornanfuentes]

@@justinwhite2725 I was asking because of the "camaleon" effect that INFJ can have. Meaning that some INFJ can be typed as other types. (INFJ can... transform their whole self for the benefit of their pears, but... if you cut this enviroments and cut people they come back to their truth self: "INFJ") Meaning that an "INFJ's" can be for other people as: INFP, INTJ, ENFJ or ISFJ. (if they enviroments pushes them to do so) we all have an capability to addapt to change, but in INFJ It's taken to a extreme

[@enlightenedglass7879]

INFJ is considered the most thinking type of the feelers which based on letters makes sense because there are these opposites: - I vs E is like thinking vs talking (inner monologue vs outer dialogue) - N vs S is like thinking vs doing - T vs F is like thinking vs feeling - J vs P is like thinking vs not thinking xd - the P sounds negative but P in some ways looks like it has only negatives- it's more chaotic, lazy, doesn't care...- but they just don't take things that seriously, in my class there were a lot of EXXP types who created a lot of mess and they said- we'd rather be a class of stupid clowns (P) than a class of nerds/crams (J). And I've also seen a question: What makes ESTPs a Ti type? When they probably aren't very good at math (or aren't very patient, they wouldn't think for hours) and they don't think about Ne consequences before doing. This question makes sense because based on letters INTJ is the most T (based on cognitive functions it's INTP), ESFP the least T.

[@tritan130]

You have a terrible understanding of p vs j types. Though I get that you're young so that probably contributes you to be so confidently incorrect about your opinions.

[@worryingis4losers]

I’m an Infj sx4 I’m pretty emotional and I can start a conflict. but I am usually a sponge

[@farfaraway4285]

Merry Xmas Nathan!

[@jasonring5231]

True: all three points. - INFJ

[@JohnDoe-tt4fm]

Amazing

[@kikiwannakaikai]

They’re sponges and absorb everything, unless you squeeze them (which I wouldn’t recommend) 👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽

[@Missdovanova]

Accurate description 🫢 i was squeezed couple of times in my life 🧽 a sight to behold ,,full on psycho mode ,,not recommend,,care for your infjs 🥲💕

[@33Jenesis]

I thought i was an infj feeler until I became intp. Mt extravert feeling was and is still primitive. I spent a long time studying ppl but never was interested in ppl. Infj’s EF would not be a siren call like it has been for me.

[@BDSandM]

They're very emotional, but they know it's not a good look to show anger/annoyance/disagreeability. So they're subtly or blatantly passive aggressive allll the time. Then they'll go to other people and talk massive shit behind your back. Or they'll come to you and talk massive shit behind other people's backs, but pretend to be good buddies to their faces. lol It's wild. Can't trust them.

[@Missdovanova]

Sometimes i get jealous of SE users ,,coz they are perceived as normal and achieving and fun and popular,,,but i cant be that 🤷🏻‍♀️ but then I remember se users get jealous of Ni users creativity and absurd ways of seeing things 🤷🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️

[@LentilSoupGirl]

Again, can someone tell me the meaning of "love who" lol? It's quite fascinating, what his intention must've been behind it

[@Acceptablehandleaheada2.-_]

Their albeit slight preference for Ti in the right contexts is why they and INTPs make power couples.

[@brickellvoss7739]

So I'm already subscribed... anything else I can get you for christmas?

[@humanerror459]

So what introverted types ARE the most expressively emotional?

[@raft115]

Wish you all a super 2024🎉

[@amyj.4992]

You described an Aquarius 😂🏺 ♒

[@FEMSuccessCircle]

Can someone be both INTJ AND INFJ at the same time...?

[@riyajacob2909]

No 😂

[@FEMSuccessCircle]

@@riyajacob2909 my sister in law insists that she is both INTJ and INFJ. To me, she is INTJ.

[@critter_paws]

You should've said that you would be sad if we didn't subscribe. You know our weak spots

[@Missdovanova]

💚

[@EightMasterRobots]

When are you going to do one about estp's. You don't exactly make estp's look great on a regular basis.

[@afshanzubair1811]

Hey nathan, I'm stuck who am I? An intp or an enfp? As I took 4 times the test on website "16 personalities" and got intp-t whereas, when I took it on website "xpersonality", I got enfp... Now I really am confused. I'm occupied with so many thoughts too and I feel as I got hurt too by people's wordssssss. I'm really stressed that who am I? I'm willing to find an answer. Please suggest something....

[@lovewho]

Hi! I do offer typing services which can be found on the LoveWho website. It’s important to be aware of the cognitive functions before signing up for that service though since I use those heavily in my explanations ~ Nathan

[@elim02]

Does anyone know what his personality type is?

[@squadsight]

100%

[@Alexander1997T]

Annoying? Um yea. Mentally ill. Def. Thinks he has super powers and is the most intuitive person on the planet when in reality he has no clue how others think or feel. Thinks everyone else is narcissistic and shallow when in reality he is projecting. Takes no accountability for any of his actions and instead blames others. Plays the victim and explains away all his instability as just being an INFJ. Very sad.

[@DanielaRosenrot]

Admit it! You are a mind reader. 🤨🙃