Narcissistic parents will throw their child to the wolves...Then stand back and criticize what the child does to stay alive.
@bot5am3 жыл бұрын
sounds too familiar than I would like it to be
@MajICReiki3 жыл бұрын
"I was raised by wolves and educated by boy scouts." Is something I have said for decades
@jeffb.1403 жыл бұрын
i raised myself on the internet
@roguepinky3_4s3 жыл бұрын
😅😅😅 oh, no *rewind my history* *laughs* So true!
@user-hw6kq4ne2t3 жыл бұрын
Sad but true
@Apple_Teck3 жыл бұрын
“DO NOT CORRECT A FOOL, OR HE WILL HATE YOU; CORRECT A WISE MAN, AND HE WILL APPRECIATE YOU.”
@infinitybless71323 жыл бұрын
Unfortunately my adult son is a fool (as the Bible states it). He can’t stand being corrected. Sad truth! He will then turn around and start blaming me 🤦♀️
@bill83833 жыл бұрын
@@infinitybless7132 There's a saying - " A fool who proceeds with his folly will become wise" *** Embracing the fool archetype may contradictorally be the path 'through' and out of foolishness .. because I think only 'You' can personally make the right decisions for 'yourself' , and that includes decisions of what to 'learn' or what lessons to take on board and live by ... I guess it's like , you NEED to be able to see the folly inherent in yourself and your decisions , completely and without being able to redirect blame to any other person or thing >>> I'm not a parent by the way , so there's that haha
@ajhandsome013 жыл бұрын
@@infinitybless7132 tell him to stop bitching
@seetheanimal58673 жыл бұрын
Explains why the left censors rational discourse and individual expression
@SoldatDuChristChannel3 жыл бұрын
from the book of psalms in the bible
@joedirty6543 Жыл бұрын
I wonder how many narcissists are watching this thinking they are the authentic person.
@Dolphins4567 ай бұрын
I have to giggle at what you just said.
@steveplatt20687 ай бұрын
😂😂😂😂😂
@tanausu77 ай бұрын
That’s right, narcissists are now learning all the jargon to keep pushing to not be exposed, pay attention to the difference between what they say after ‘I am…’ and what they actually do, that’ll give you clues of the reality of who they are.
@amandaforsythe37297 ай бұрын
😂🤣🤣all of them
@isarainie4ever7 ай бұрын
@Sleetstormwho know? most of the time they just don’t want to meet doctors so people have to “guess”. I did too but now I don’t care to label my mother as NP or something anymore, to me she is just too cruel for a human being, nevermind as a mother.
@ckingsman389411 ай бұрын
My aunt once told me "You are the truth teller. That's why they alienated you."
@amestranceologic85647 ай бұрын
This is me, but I only just realized that it a gift and not a curse. I’m a leader of the new world, never meant to fit in, never meant to follow anyone. I’m here to help people heal and see the beauty of life and find the magic in everyday existence
@israelmateaki92356 ай бұрын
this made me cry bruh
@Patricia-cp2zg6 ай бұрын
My grandpa was the only one who didn't alienated me, and said the same thing to me.
@johngilmore6975 ай бұрын
Fascinating. Does she wear Kaftans?
@analiviaminsk11715 ай бұрын
This is me too. I felt like a ghost when I was a kid.
@carollee783 жыл бұрын
My perception is that narcissistic people are jealous of authentic people, especially if the authentic person is intelligent or interesting or possesses positive traits of any kind.
@MrsJudyR3 жыл бұрын
And my experience is narcissists then become resentful of authentic people.
@woow833 жыл бұрын
my mother views my character as weakness because of how she was raised. it scares the shit out of her cos all she knows is defensiveness.
@Lowdermoomoo3 жыл бұрын
My mom gets upset when my husband is nice to me because “why can’t I get the same from your father!” Like what?!
@rachelsonshine15213 жыл бұрын
Exactly!
@DeenaDianna3 жыл бұрын
Not necessarily authentic people. It's everyone in general. They feel a deep sense of shame whenever they see positive traits in anyone. So they feel the need to be critical or begin to copy the individual
@LittleHobbit133 жыл бұрын
Sounds like authentic people are the embodiment of "Do no harm but take no shit".
@tnt013 жыл бұрын
100%
@drkrazzy16463 жыл бұрын
Exactly you said it right 🤙🏽
@garrettsmith82863 жыл бұрын
"Be water my friend." Bruce Lee
@sissymarie15433 жыл бұрын
Amen
@haloskaterkid3 жыл бұрын
Cringe lmao
@MelissaWrightMW3 жыл бұрын
After growing up with a narc mom and working my whole life to heal the trauma, my motto is “what you think of me is none of my business.”
@SpongeAddict-gw6mo3 жыл бұрын
Omg I say the exact same thing now
@joannasaadati88103 жыл бұрын
@@tessarae9127 Your mom probably uses that to say she's not responsible for your feelings so she's not held accountable for her actions.
@heal-thee91093 жыл бұрын
I've got to use that.
@dj.deb.usa007justiceangels63 жыл бұрын
@@heal-thee9109 HEAL
@Jj-pm5yv3 жыл бұрын
Narc parents are so damaging
@mrspleasants85297 ай бұрын
My husband qualifies as authentic. Calm, rational, thoughtful…in twelve years I only heard him raise his voice once and it was in deference of me. What gift of a husband.
@Jessanda897 ай бұрын
Wow. You're truly blessed
@islixxn7 ай бұрын
Show this love to him instead of KZbin comment section
@leakypussy98137 ай бұрын
I’m sure she does she’s just letting the world know she’s blessed and that theres hope for everyone🤷🏽♀️💜
@mrspleasants85297 ай бұрын
I treat him like a king as he deserves .@@islixxn
@Mr.Honest2477 ай бұрын
Those traits don’t necessarily mean “authentic.” Authentic means direct honesty, zero bullshit and lies, and only speaks the truth. Also they don’t pretend to be something they’re not. Thats authentic.
@danellemh84863 жыл бұрын
When narc’s encounter a genuine person, they seem to feel threatened.
@marcellarenee20933 жыл бұрын
I noticed the same thing
@MP-fk9em3 жыл бұрын
It's because WE are something that they will never be.....REAL🌟⚘
@caesilva98443 жыл бұрын
I guess they loose their ground. Rsrsrsr. It is funny to see them shut up.
@cindyann44743 жыл бұрын
Yes ...
@sammaloney17463 жыл бұрын
That's because they are!
@chantalrochon35663 жыл бұрын
When you stop explaining / defending yourself to wounded people, the journey to authenticity begins.
@alangardiner8723 жыл бұрын
and the journey to Compassion ends
@namaste55233 жыл бұрын
@@alangardiner872 I’ve lived with a true narcissist for over 20 years, I did plenty of compassion and once you allow them in, that is when they get their supply and you feel horrible and confused and mistreated. It’s a real illness and mine also had passive aggressive and stonewalling. It was hell, and I finally left and I have moments of authenticity but after so many years of that, working on it and climbing out of that hell isn’t easy. And there was true gaslighting. You are told lies that you know he said. And just when you think it’s safe, he acts out. It doesn’t end and they cannot say sorry. It’s a danger to my health if I have compassion for him. He’s in my life still bc he has to be for another year. He sucks me in and spits me back. I don’t wish this treatment on anyone.
@87Strong3 жыл бұрын
@@alangardiner872 compassion towards a narcissist is suicide. Sorry but I’ve lived that truth and hold it to be self-evident. ❤️
@FouEliane3 жыл бұрын
It’s my number one lesson I’ve learned from social media: don’t justify yourself, and especially don’t justify your personhood
@custos32493 жыл бұрын
True, true. I often find it's better to bulldoze than justify myself too.
@lazerpants90263 жыл бұрын
Narcissists are everywhere. When you run into one, just tip your hat and keep it moving. They are a literal waste of thought, effort, and time.
@kristins44943 жыл бұрын
Well said!
@stonem00133 жыл бұрын
that seems so de-humanising
@Melia_Mer3 жыл бұрын
I couldn't agree more.
@xzxxx23513 жыл бұрын
My ex with bpd is dating a narcissist and they both play each other
@Nina_Olivia3 жыл бұрын
Absolutely! When faced with narcs, it’s best to just keep moving forward like you say. There’s no need to entertain their hateful, aggressive nonsense, as they don’t even deserve the negative supply that they crave.
@jamesbemrose34615 ай бұрын
Narcissists have an uncanny knack of finding and targeting those that are vulnerable and easily manipulated. They also have the ability to appear (normal) until you are deeply invested in a relationship with them, then all the ugly surfaces!
@ElleDan875 ай бұрын
yes, reminds me of these romance scammers
@maclove81355 ай бұрын
No fuckin doubt
@sunbeam92225 ай бұрын
One must never be afraid to walk. Abuse is a no no be be at 10 days mark, 10 weeks, 10 months or 10 years. I'll Invest, sure, but also monitor the stock market regularly. If the return on investment is too low, it's time to go.
@johncausey53444 ай бұрын
That’s what happened to my daughter… But she’s in the process of breaking free now
@marytaylor95044 ай бұрын
Their mask drops off!!!
@SusanaXpeace2u3 жыл бұрын
The narc will try and exclude the authentic person from the group.
@marywilsonvocalist21813 жыл бұрын
that explains stepsons 21st
@Partycitybaex3 жыл бұрын
This 🙌🏼
@xylemnilsen89443 жыл бұрын
I got pushed out of a job by a narcissist because of my authenticity bombs
@SusanaXpeace2u3 жыл бұрын
@@xylemnilsen8944 ha ha, I've been there too. I don't treat them to all of my authenticity now! :-)
@FaerieElethia3 жыл бұрын
I was exiled from an entire group of friends who called me “family” by a narcissist in the group who became jealous of my connection with the rest.
@willowwisp3573 жыл бұрын
I've noticed that authenticity is often painted as narcissistic, usually by narcissist.
@annatevesbanzon13593 жыл бұрын
Or it's devalued like no authenticity is overrated or not really Authentic 🤷🙄
@yellowbird54113 жыл бұрын
@@annatevesbanzon1359 Yup. Been told, "Only concerned about yourself." And this because I just went over to get the rent, and declined to take him to the store or loan him money.
@musiclovetara3 жыл бұрын
Me too & questions oneself after suffering narcissistic abuse!
@Lyndsay.King11113 жыл бұрын
I always feel that most people that are accusing others of narcissism are quite judgmental and narcissistic. I’ve never felt that I’ve met a narcissist or have had issues with the topic, but I’m very authentic and straight forward so perhaps narcissists aren’t attracted to me or I don’t see them.
@annatevesbanzon13593 жыл бұрын
@@Lyndsay.King1111 you will know when you meet one. They are usually diabolical. If you have healthy parents you may be protected from the realm of narcs because they have protected you in a way that narc parents do not protect their children.
@merebrillante3 жыл бұрын
Older people-smart ones-realize they have a limited time left on this planet, and don’t want to waste any of that time on drama.
@mothersruin90583 жыл бұрын
Oh so true!
@pashakdescilly75173 жыл бұрын
@@nancyn891 Older people
@marieborchardt29103 жыл бұрын
At around age 60, I realized the time I had left was too precious to waste on dishonest game players. Even if they were family.
@sixthsenseamelia46953 жыл бұрын
Black sheep aren't so concerned with herd mentality either. 🖤
@roseaduke88353 жыл бұрын
The thing is though, death can come to anyone at any age. A 2oyearold may depart today whilst a 60yearold lives for another 20years! We can all work towards being/living authentic now, both younger & older.
@gracia1304 ай бұрын
Authentic people are honest, transparent and don't envy flashy things.
@triumph.over.shipwreck4 ай бұрын
Why? Because you like those traits?
@sarahmariah1004 ай бұрын
Ik, I don't envy but I def love flashy things
@dblr49313 ай бұрын
So I fit your meaning of Authentic person but I don't fit what the video says. I've always been told how authentic and genuine I 6 I do get angry at times, I do raise my voice, and I am ok with being a party pooper and leave somewhere when I want lol
@ablurida2 ай бұрын
@@dblr4931dunno if you're authentic in this context but you just described me to a T
@waggishsagacity79472 ай бұрын
@garcia130: Key word: Transparent: Narcissists spot this trait in a flash.
@allang91 Жыл бұрын
Funny fact is, when you set boundaries with a narcissist, they will usually claim that you are only seeing your side in the situation, as if you are the narcissistic. Best thing to do is to leave in silence.
@johnysimps1191 Жыл бұрын
Yup. Better to not engage with them anymore. Let them win whatever they want just don't give them the fight.
@blessedsoul919011 ай бұрын
Yes very true.. becos they don't see themselves from a 3rd party perspective.. they only see themselves as the most victimized person ever and when we set boundaries, we get added to their list of people who victimize them, because we stopped the supply..
@mleecthulhu11 ай бұрын
Idc. He will NOT commandeer MY PORCH! "Like a good neighbor, STAY OVER THERE!" 😂 I refuse to say a word to him or acknowledge him or his kids!... but i rest assured that porch has a cam on it! The nerve! Lol
@faithispower711 ай бұрын
Exactly!!! Narcissist literally see boundaries as abusive because they feel they're entitled to do whatever they want to you..
@sararolfe11 ай бұрын
totally - no nned to go down to their level = they are the expert there and you will get stung
@6friend3 жыл бұрын
This term you use "authentic" really seems to be an honest person who has healed enough from trauam to resist being triggered.
@jessicataylor71743 жыл бұрын
Yes or someone who is and has not been involved with a narcissist or more specifically THAT narcissist. If it were a random rude person talking over everyone and being a jerk it would be easy to walk away. When it's the narc stalking me, coming to my table of friends and interrupting EVERY time any of us speaks and trying to take over like heck am I going to continue calmly trying to move the conversation back or go home. I'm out with MY friends, he found out I was in pub X, he comes to whatever place I've been spotted in by his flying monkeys, tries to 'join us' without invitation and take over the conversation and night...yep we're all trying to avoid the drama and scene he will cause if we ask him to leave us alone, but damn, we're not going to accept him or leave either. We've got the point where girlie nights had to always be at my flat to avoid his BS. Since covid and lockdown that is changing, we are reclaiming our right to go out and not be harassed. When he starts that crap again we won't be making a quiet exit to my flat, we're standing our ground and getting him removed from bothering us. I don't think standing your ground or being assertive is not authentic. The person described in the video seems to be dealing with a narc who is nothing to do with them and part of that circle of people. A common situation and great advise for avoiding letting them in etc but not even possible when it's the uninvited narc who you've escaped!
@MsShellectable3 жыл бұрын
Or is kind enough to themselves to honor triggers when they arise, and step away from the source of the trigger.
@sepidehhendi12113 жыл бұрын
The best explanation!! Bravo!!
@michellebyrom65513 жыл бұрын
@@jessicataylor7174 women out together and a known narcissist tries to join the group? Yeah right. Been there. Put socialised niceties aside and as a collective firmly state he wasn't invited along and he should leave you alone. If he refuses quietly walk over to security and explain it. At that point, he has moved from over friendly to harassment. If he argues with security over staying away from your group there's a good chance he will be ejected. A group of women usually spend more than one man. Other men usually spend more on women they like. Your group is an asset to the business. Just keep it polite to hold the high ground. And thank the staff so they'll look after you in future.
@Saerwen_Celeste3 жыл бұрын
I've healed myself and my NPD sister hates the grey rock treatment, she get's such a confused look on her face I LOVE IT!
@stev90793 жыл бұрын
To me authenticity is when your thoughts, words and actions align.
@msfitbrown483 жыл бұрын
Right!!!!!
@karamlevi3 жыл бұрын
Lol 😂 that took Confucius to 70 year’s old before he achieved that. I thought I could outperform him and I was wrong. Good luck 🍀 . But I’m sure you line works well for likes 👍.Humility isn’t popular nor is highlighting ones failures, however... errors well digested lead to profoundly solid transformations.
@kiwi98133 жыл бұрын
@@karamlevi "we don't depend on luck, we use alchemy"
@hopefulforhumanity56253 жыл бұрын
I think authentic people are always trying to figure out what is best and true, and they try hard to hold themselves to that standard. My husband is narcissistic, but not evil. I see him for what he is. I pray for him, redirect him, and praise him when I see proper actions. He was poorly socialized. He was mistreated as a child and retreated to a world of books. Fortunately, he was attracted to hero characters who always saved people, so I know that is his heart's desire, to be a savior. But he loves attention and praise and always turns every conversation back to himself. I get embarrassed by this and by his boastfulness. And it is super annoying how he loves to tell us about other people's faults and weaknesses, like it's fun to point out other people's stupidity or addictions. Then he tries to keep his own weaknesses hidden. He is an incredibly hard worker though, and he works very long hours in super uncomfortable conditions so I can stay home with the children. He is very skilled at fixing almost anything mechanical. He is a very good problem solver. He's a good leader at work, never asks his men to do anything he wouldn't. Sometimes he behaves emotionally immaturely, but other times he doesn't. It really seems to be strongly related to what "news" he reads and watches or what online social media he is interacting with. I do believe we are strongly influenced by what we read and watch and listen to. I think people are complex with all sorts of problems. I will always love him. And I will always pray for him. And I will never give up on him because he is mine to love forever.
@kiwi98133 жыл бұрын
We become our thoughts, habits, food, what we listen to, what we pay most attention to etc. We are simultaneously the product and creator of our environment 💜✨ your husband sounds like a wonderful man who will continue to progress, and you being there to guide and love him despite his short comings is definitely an incredible gift that I'm sure has and will continue to benefit y'all's individual and connected growth as well as the collective.
@michiganlighthouse10 ай бұрын
Excellent topic. I'm 74 and have been learning about narcissism for 2 years. As the big picture began to clear away the fog my narcissist husband created, I began to discover my forgotten self. Not surprisingly, he upped the abuse. I didn't leave him - but only because he ordered me out of the house and to take nothing because it was all HIS. These people are baffling in their attitudes. I still shake my head and ask how on earth did they become like this? I'm looking forward, at 74, to living my own life finally. It will be tough financially, but I don’t need much and friends have stepped up to help furnish my new little place. Finally, I'm at peace with who I am.
@Nebulousss10 ай бұрын
did you have kids together? I've been 13 years with my bf... deep down I still love him. I just can't believe how he goes from being the best bf in the world, to 10 mins later transform into the cruelest monster out there and don't show a minimum of respect for me... like he never loved me. It's like an intense hate in his eyes. It's truly hard to believe... And the reason of his "transformation" might be something as stupid as I didn't wash a single glass of water immediately after he used it... it's like what these videos say: you will never be good enough for them, they will always find something that hurts you to tear you down... life is so hard with him when he's like this... and I did think about having kids with him... because I love him... but then I think about how many times *harder* it would get with kids... I don't think I could bare that... I went from having an extremely hard life living 26 years with my borderline sister (you wouldn't believe the things she did...) to live with my bf that happens to have a narcissistic personality 😔 what is life trying to tell me? lol
@MotoGreciaMarios10 ай бұрын
@@Nebulousss Wow. Just wow.
@mavila539210 ай бұрын
WE GOT THIS 💪🏽💪🏽 rooting for you 🫶🏽💯
@keithoyoung3410 ай бұрын
Best of luck to you!!!
@sherryk3010 ай бұрын
@@Nebuloussslife do you even HEAR yourself? Please, for the sake of possible unborn children, do not have children with this individual.
@mskathryn2313 жыл бұрын
My oldest daughter is a very authentic person. I find that she is one of the only people that I feel safe with. Even her criticisms are done with love. I leave a conversation with her feeling happy, at peace, not confused, etc. She can make everyone feel special without lying or being fake. I never could figure out how she does it. She was born this way! I wish I was!
@CG-mj8tk3 жыл бұрын
How very special!!
@ms.anonymousinformer2423 жыл бұрын
I have these traits if you are my friend. 😁 Not Enemy though.
@robh32673 жыл бұрын
She is your daughter and therefore a product of you the ability for you to reckoning those traits in her says a lot of good about you and her ability to be the way she is.
@teal10103 жыл бұрын
Rob H 💞
@teal10103 жыл бұрын
@kathy E 💞
@maggiered72842 жыл бұрын
My best friend is an authentic girl. As a matter of fact, the narcissist guy called her dismissive to her face and she said “oh okay. Well, I hope you find what you are looking for.” And she is so very calm when she said it. And he said that he will block her number. And she said “okay, take care. Goodbye.” All calm and collected. I need to learn that skill
@queenefuah444 Жыл бұрын
Self love will take you down that road.
@lilypond5158 Жыл бұрын
I've found that practicing this in online interactions first is easier and helps a lot. Normally I don't engage with online arguments but I'm not friendly either. One time I got a really negative reply on an innocent commemt and it felt so ridiculous that I asked the person if they were having a bad day and why they were so angry.l, and they actually apologized and said they were going through something, first time that I had a person online do a 180° like that, snd it felt so much better than winning an argument, it was actually really wholesome. So since than I've tried to be less confrontational and reactive when someone says an extreme thing to me because I hope to have that good feeling of making a bad interaction a good or neutral one, it makes me feel way more peaceful inside, even if I do have an argument I feel comfortable leaving it when the other person is being unreasonable and I'll feel proud thst I did that. I think this sort of practice will make a person resistant to toxic behaviour and not he effected by negativity.
@Jo0LeeAHH Жыл бұрын
@Autumn Leaves that’s not true for everyone. I’ve been with a narcissistic alcoholic for 15 years. I still love him with all my heart. I’ve learned through al anon to detach with love. It works for me.
@tomcerone5201 Жыл бұрын
bingo Maggie , your friend sounds awesome. She sa it a calm voice that what triggers the narcissist to rage . Cuz your is not falling for the bait !!
@anniewhitmore7627 Жыл бұрын
Amazing 😊Someone who is very comfortable in their own skin and I am sure a wonderful friend to have 👍😊
@ohidontknow253 жыл бұрын
I would imagine Dr Ramani herself is an example of an authentic person.
@Nina_Olivia3 жыл бұрын
Yes! I suspect authenticity is one of Dr Ramani’s finest qualities.
@nilgiridreaming3 жыл бұрын
@@Nina_Olivia Agreed. I find her refreshingly real - and authentically beautiful ... my mum was the same although blonde haired and blue eyed. She had that same unaffected beauty.. so fortunate...
@joseenoel80933 жыл бұрын
We need to make a statue!
@lola_sand3 жыл бұрын
💯
@fallonrappaport52703 жыл бұрын
Yes
@rebeccastokes49568 ай бұрын
Its called being grounded and knowing exactly who you are. You are not influenced by other people very easily. Thats how i am.
@Ariades747 ай бұрын
😂😂😂
@iamcimos35675 ай бұрын
Me too. Who I project myself outwardly "as" though, sometimes does change, depending on my mood, the time of the month and whether I have dark chocolate. I'm ok with that. :o)
@kaylabryson19324 ай бұрын
@@iamcimos3567right!😂 if I’m caffeinated enough I’m so authentic …haha
@213funnyp3 ай бұрын
I was thinking my sister went crazy after her mid life crisis but turns out i ran into narcissistic traits and she checks every box, they are dangerous ppl and turns out she seduced my dad so she could get rid of him, the reason i put this together is because i remember this conversation my future step dad had with my mom, that my sister would shower with the door open, and keep in my mind he hated my dad, he said he's pretty sure she did the same thing to my dad, took me 40 yrs but my sister for some reason tries to get rid of ppl, she very rude and pumps up mom to Believe my wife is a bad person, i nevr understood why she was always rude, and it was her way of the nothing, i noticed she was always jealous of her daughters, like shes 46 and can't let go of being everything about her. Yes it gets worse but before the serious one, she would always talk down on my kids, and im thinking what kind of person would try n hurt a kids feelings, that was it for me. And yes of course she became a big ultra maga supporter, like she cant back of her reasoning for real issues but she just says lil sayings typical maga would say, but she's gets really aggressive and offensive cuz i mock her cuz im not one to be bullied. But here's the kicker, she called me one night all drunk right before Thanksgiving unloading that she's been hiding frm the family that her daughter has cancer and she doesn't kno what to do eveb tho the 3 doctors recommended immediate treatment, but shes one of those magas that also doesn't trust doctors or medicine, so saying she not going the route or try anything help my niece have any fighting chance, just to fit her narrative she's willing to let her daughter die!!! And the next morning she texts me to forget what she said and that she was wrong for it, at this point im thinking she crazy, but im telling you all this to show that these are some dangerous ppl, i might have lost a father over her actions of jealousy, oh yea i forgot she's my half sister but i always called her my sister. It amazes how someone can cause all this wreckage and believe she has no sympathy for others but herself. I cut her off for my kids and wife, my mom is the hardest to convince how manipulative she is but you kno moms believe their kids are perfect
@starryeyednomad35193 жыл бұрын
Authenticity comes from being comfortable with and valuing yourself. The narcissist is terrified of hearing truths.
@spdadventurer17543 жыл бұрын
couldnt agree more...i think i have always been authentic, being child of both narc parents i can say that, thats wat saved me(being authentic)...no doubt that my wisdom is increasing with age but the authenticity was always there to begin with...its not something i caught on at a particular age
@starryeyednomad35193 жыл бұрын
@@spdadventurer1754 seems like kids who come from narc parents go in one of two ways: either, they become JUST like their narc parents OR they become super empathic. Might have to do with high emotional quotient (EQ).
@theresefournier32693 жыл бұрын
@@starryeyednomad3519 yes!
@theresefournier32693 жыл бұрын
@@alex2b450 which means no one did a very good job at showing any of it? and if that is the case, who can blame them for not seeing! when it's the blind leading the blind, isn't it just par for the course! the way for all who have yet to truly lift the veil of the old matrix!? or "system"?! which makes all kinds of room for the real teachers to finally come out of the shadows... who knows? where it might lead? if we just tried, to be, better! and I do see wonderfully inspired comments around, these days! as more and more choose to get out of the system that blinded them one time too many! Trust is all but gone and love, wisdom and accurate knowledge, hopefully, will save us all! Psalm 91 alone, is wowing me daily! and notebooks filled with others, that keep me, in heaven on EARTH, in my own HEART!
@toni23093 жыл бұрын
Couldn't you just be comfortable with and valuing yourself but not comfortable with other people? Idk, I don't feel like I mask because I don't value myself, but because I think that the world is scary.
@jonesy28922 жыл бұрын
The older I get, the more comfortable I am with being the "weird" person in the room. In fact, it's become a beacon for me and helps me better figure out who is toxic, dangerous or who to avoid.
@seboconnor19342 жыл бұрын
Narcissists definitely rely on social convention and "normalcy" to shame and control people. Most people kind of chuckle or raise an eyebrow at my odd behaviors, but the minute someone resorts to shaming me for benign but unconventional behaviors, I know exactly who I'm dealing with.
@dijaworldworld38952 жыл бұрын
Amen!
@EASTSIDESEE2 жыл бұрын
real rap
@chell50102 жыл бұрын
Mic drop
@yevette57402 жыл бұрын
Yes… good for you. I feel the same . Protect yourself.
@james1327 Жыл бұрын
My wife is very authentic and she is super nice to people. So people think she’s a push over. Then some one tries to mess with her and she gets extremely intense and direct and she melts them. Ppl will know her for years and won’t see this side. I haven’t seen this in anybody else in my life. Very unique and very awesome.
@StevenLewis-z6c Жыл бұрын
That's top level. There comes a point when a decent person has to let someone know there bullshit is not welcome and was never acceptable. Kudos to her!
@_Jael Жыл бұрын
She sounds like me I truly believe people take my kindness for weakness then I snap and I’m the villain oh well lol
@jnhegde Жыл бұрын
That’s really cool that you have a wife that is authentic. What’s cooler is that you see that and appreciate her. Takes one to know one.
@cinnamonteeth Жыл бұрын
@robhernandez1827Yeah I’m similar to this person’s wife and it’s not aggression. It’s just very direct, “Hey I have self respect and I will not tolerate disrespect”. It’s shutting the other person down without raising your voice or insulting, but just speaking clearly and seriously. No smiling or apologizing for shutting them down, instead being confident. Otherwise I’m actually a quite shy person that always wants to be kind lol
@Clammyclams Жыл бұрын
Same. I am very nice to people but have no problem going scorched earth on narcissists
@ClaudKaKeiYeung10 ай бұрын
After surviving narcissistic abuses, and still healing, I look forward to this new goal - authenticity 😉
@zacharyeldridge19758 ай бұрын
Lol Right?! Although really it should be repenting to Jesus Christ. Seeking the Kingdom of Heaven first, then other things shall be added to you
@DubD615hduwКүн бұрын
@@zacharyeldridge1975 😂🤦♂️🤣
@dapsolita3 жыл бұрын
Sounds like authentic people live in alignment with their moral philosophy.
@redheli13 жыл бұрын
Their moral philosophy are generally warp.
@jcompton30983 жыл бұрын
A moral philosophy that is grounded in emotional realism (that we are emotional creatures, not just cognitive thinkers)
@effrakataeffrakata20923 жыл бұрын
Yes ....the Bible say when you know who you are in Christ what the world think does not really matter ,Im 46 years old ,and it took me long time of suffering because i was a nice person,very sensitive ,try to get along with everybody (i thougth),and was very reactive to what people do and say about me ...once i learn that it does not really matter (i Bring people in need to eat and sleep in my House and still talk bad about me ...),i know im a loving, compassionate,honest overall good person and thats all that matter,we will all meet same narcissist in our Life that tell us ,we are horrible,disgusting,sloppy ,good for nothing human being "know the truth (that you are a Beautyfull human being created by a migthy God at His Image and likeness,thats all you need to know) and the truth will Set you free"... And you will no longer Put your inner value dependent of acceptance and aproval from Others.We can Control other people mouth and behaviour but WE can Control how we react to it
@donnafennick38213 жыл бұрын
@@effrakataeffrakata2092 thank you ! I needed to read that.
@colleenjohnson90133 жыл бұрын
Authentic people have a broad range of areas of awareness regarding personalities and temperaments. It’s similar to customer service at its best and mastering communication.
@pesamesagisum3 жыл бұрын
Authentic people sound a lot like they’re just emotionally mature and self-aware.
@theresefournier32693 жыл бұрын
They sure are! and rare too! but, since the covid, there seems to be more coming out of the shadows! And your name means? "Harvester"! (mine too)
@pesamesagisum3 жыл бұрын
@@theresefournier3269 That’s really incredible that you brought that up today. I meditated on “I am a conduit to connect resources” and a harvester can be a person who collects resources for future use! What an incredible synchronicity from the Universe!
@theresefournier32693 жыл бұрын
@@pesamesagisum It's called "synchronicity"! which is something that you will find yourself experiencing exponentially! (you are "blessed", as well).
@theresefournier32693 жыл бұрын
@@pesamesagisum Oh my! I hadn't even seen this last part of your comment until after I wrote mine! which is when i realized that, of course, and not surprisingly, you already knew! and yes, we are incredibly blessed my spiritual sister! and wise harvester!
@Abdi-libaax3 жыл бұрын
Thank you
@jenniferfisher89533 жыл бұрын
“Narcissists waste lots of time winning others over because they are soooo insecure and need the supply”
@Holysmokeswtf8 ай бұрын
After two years of being "in love" with a narcissist I was only one step away from committing suicide. It was like he took me, threw me to the ground and shattered everything I was into millions of pieces - and then left. Now, two years later, I am grateful for this episode of my life, as it granted me the chance of becoming whole and true. I was destroyed and had to build myself new from the beginning - and while I was doing that, I finally learned to see and feel this "self", which was very different than the one I thought I was. In fact, he didn't shatter -me-, but the shell I was, build up from old wounds, old fears and old ideas. I am thankful for this experience and for the incredible opportunity to heal - not only from the wounds the narcissist did to me, but from the deep wound of being lost and disconnected from myself. I was a helpless, frightened child, full of fears and desperate to find someone who could save me.... now I am saved by myself. Finding this connection will lead to authenticity and nothing feels more comfortable than that. Finally, there's peace.
@Rattynattynat8 ай бұрын
Said very well and by someone who knows how to make beauty from ashes and learn from experiences . 🤍🕊️
@harlowgreen69168 ай бұрын
God bless u
@zacharyeldridge19758 ай бұрын
Thank You Jesus for helping her. Please continue to draw her to You Lord. To seek the Kingdom of Heaven first, then other things shall be added
@lanaflumiani96618 ай бұрын
Wow, thank you so much for sharing your experience. I'm glad you have realized your strength through a painful experience. I have come to the same realization after my very similar experience.
@olenaglushchenko89008 ай бұрын
I felt the same. We should be grateful to God for helping us to leave them.
@kkgreen79463 жыл бұрын
Basically work on urself until your so unbothered by them they don’t wanna be bothered with you. You’re not acting grey rock you ARE greyrock.
@Picca653 жыл бұрын
Exactly!!!
@stonem00133 жыл бұрын
but greyrock seems so boring to have to be
@Adam-ih9yy3 жыл бұрын
Very well said Karen ,i my self living exactly of what you just said and is very peaceful and powerful place to be.
@thinkfree22583 жыл бұрын
Nice!
@jcrose60083 жыл бұрын
I agree, n I see now we are all the walking wounded children doing our best, this helps to not judge others. But some of us work a lot harder at evolving into the person we were meant to be before it was taken away from us as a child. I have empathy for people who don’t realize it takes action instead of blaming. Unaware of this they are always searching outside themselves for the answers. I’ve also realized the only way to become authentic n receive answers is to go within. Learning to let go of the past by living in the moment brings calm / peace and creates space for less n less reason for subconscious reactions. And to be more gentle with ourselves, we’re not perfect all the time and that’s OK. The more u love yourself the more u can feel free to love others, even if it’s from a safe distance.
@bridgettleigh29123 жыл бұрын
I found authentic people are very non-judgmental of others. So wonderful to be around.
@marilynteed3 жыл бұрын
This authentic person has done medical research and discovered that her x-boyfriend had all the symptoms of a Narcissist and Asperger's, however the CAUSE is not intentional. These behaviors develop due to having to deal with the toxins being produced in their system. Parasites/Worms and other Amoebic parasites are rampant in these people. They live in a brain fog and their behaviors are developed to cover up their incorrectly diagnosed internal parasites. Parasites emit 5 toxins. Formaldehyde, Amphetamines, Histamines, Ammonia and Morphine. Any Authentic person getting a daily dose of these chemicals will ultimately develop some defensive behaviors. If you really want to CURE your clients then deworm them first and then help them control their parasites while helping them deal with the transition. Many like my x have lived with parasites their whole life and never knew it. My x had his appendix removed as a child(more than likely filled with worms) and had physical development /growth problems. All affected by these toxins in his system. The Main Stream Medical Community does NOT test for parasites. Some parasites live in the lymph system and not the GI tract. How these parasites get in they lymph system is still a mystery. For more information on this please watch The Universal Antidote Documentary on Rumble dot com. Here is the link rumble.com/vdey7t-the-universal-antidote.html
@FieryKTarot3 жыл бұрын
But that's what gets us taken advantage of
@Justadudeman223 жыл бұрын
Good take
@zobius91913 жыл бұрын
The problem is, you take things logically, and with empathy. Two things narcissists have no comprehension of. They will call you smart and intelligent, and then call you an idiot for tripping on a cord they left on the floor.
@keepers...3 жыл бұрын
They are just who they are. They don't need to juxtapose themselves or find their place with others by judging them.
@mosaicowlstudios Жыл бұрын
Being authentic isn't just a "secret weapon against narcissists", it's an important virtue to have just for yourself ❤
@monicamiles4544 Жыл бұрын
It is my weapon against narcissist due to being abused by them my whole life. I am safe now knowing they are not able to abuse me ever again
@4Mikes4Mindset4 Жыл бұрын
That's the core level importance. Well said
@ML-sj3gi Жыл бұрын
@@monicamiles4544 It's always girls making comments like these. I bet you are the problem. How could you possibly be abused by narcissists your whole life? Either you are delusional or you have been going from man to man looking for your "best source of supply" and found yourself being treated like a commodity, because you have made yourself one.
@466rudy6 Жыл бұрын
You should be building armor not weapons.
@mihaiciobanu2665 Жыл бұрын
@@466rudy6 You can't win if you only defend yourself. You need to bite as well
@ralfano973 ай бұрын
Narcissists are intimidated by authentic people. Authentic people attract the crowd, attention, and most of all the respect that narcissists so badly want, and they do it without trying. Narcissists know that authentic people see right through them and fear they will expose who they are.
@azashukura2 ай бұрын
❤ Yep!
@bad.chickie662 ай бұрын
You’re confusing authenticity with eccentricity
@hematite25883 жыл бұрын
Authentic people are rare, in my opinion, and they are not dramatic, they’re real; content where they are. They do not care what other’s think of them and they move forward with their simple basic life style and that’s everything to them. They are enough.
@lenaM-gx2gk3 жыл бұрын
Thank you
@lilstinkers52603 жыл бұрын
I want to be like that.
@lenaM-gx2gk3 жыл бұрын
@@lilstinkers5260 why? It's a lot of heartache that comes with it. There's plenty of wonderful things too
@jacquelynemichael4193 жыл бұрын
A part of being authentic is the unconditional acceptance of a human including their scars,their imperfections and stage in their evolution.
@bernetajohnson32963 жыл бұрын
Simple and basic life. Enjoying the things that money can't buy, like a kiss from my two year old grandson and watching him play and dance and he is so funny! Now for me that's living.........
@lydias.coaching3 жыл бұрын
"the more authentic you become the more resistant you will be to narcissists" 🙏
@joseenoel80933 жыл бұрын
= more true to yourself and the absurdity of it all!
@HaleyMary3 жыл бұрын
I've found that to be the case. They tend to run from authentic people because narcissists have a tough time telling the truth.
@lydias.coaching3 жыл бұрын
@Boom O'Shootin All the best to you too :)
@Books_Makeup3 жыл бұрын
@@HaleyMary Narcs are meant to be fleeting lessons. Wouldn't want to out or shame them, wouldn't stay either. Don't want to waste energy. I'd say a self aware person learns from a difficult experience. When a self aware person acquires a tool belt. It makes it easier to spot and resist them.
@jmlkhan51533 жыл бұрын
I think i just realized why mine has been getting so much angrier as i grow more comfortable with my identity
@criticalmaz16092 жыл бұрын
"Truth-tellers often become scapegoated." -- You just solved my life!
@PeriLyons123 Жыл бұрын
@M I A me too!
@EL-gu8fv Жыл бұрын
Sadly, most of human interaction is illusory
@nehaanand7099 Жыл бұрын
Yes.. Thanks a ton for solving all mysteries around unanswered questions of my lyf. U ve definitely changed infinite lives forever.. Blessed to have discovered a whole new world -knowledge of which - will definitely make me more useful to God, universe and world.. Focusing on only positives and my goals.
@nehaanand7099 Жыл бұрын
Hare Krishna
@anniewhitmore7627 Жыл бұрын
Bingo - so true. And when they speak the truth they are told things like 'don't be so ridiculous' and/or 'you lack insight' - told that enough times they can start to question their own sanity which is what the narc wants them to do.
@leinesim9 ай бұрын
Most of the people describe me as "genuine". And there was one manager who particularly used this sintagma of "authentic person". When I asked what does it mean (as English is not my native language) he explained that I am able to "leave" my body and judge my own actions as it was someone else, to distance myself from situation and make objective decission - which makes it much easier for me to learn and much easier for him to make me a great leader. I was so flattered.
@Loeta213 жыл бұрын
Being a authentic person is a process. Nobody is born this way. Mindfulness helps.
@herrbonk36353 жыл бұрын
I see it the other way round. We are born authetical, but along the way we are forced to learn tricks and to be false in order to cope with sadness and nasty people (whatever label you like to put on them).
@lavienestpasunlongfleuvetr25593 жыл бұрын
@@herrbonk3635 Exactly - babies are inherently authentic - they don't know how to be any other way.
@arrow10423 жыл бұрын
We are all born authentic i believe. We are at our most authenticity when we were a child but as we grow up we start to have big egos which is something we have to get rid of or at least learn to balance.
@freeyourdreama78223 жыл бұрын
Everyone is born authentic
@aurelius81803 жыл бұрын
@@arrow1042 authentic birth would mean we r only genetics. Everything else is learned and Cultivated. We r not animals with a biological compass, we need to learn every thought and behavior
@nicholasschroeder36783 жыл бұрын
Best compliment I ever received: "I never met anyone so comfortable in their own skin."
@beautydefined16013 жыл бұрын
That’s GOAL
@lorimiller43013 жыл бұрын
I'd like to feel that, even just once. Whenever I feel any joy, any at all, something comes a moment later to take it away from me. I'm not sure if it's from abuse or a curse or a Demon doing it to me. It's happened so often I don't get happy anymore. I feel like I will be punished for anything good that comes my way. It will just be taken from me because I can't defend myself.
@AV-tm5zf3 жыл бұрын
Having a child with disabilities taught me this exact thing your are talking about. In genera,l this has taught me whats important and whats a waste of time. Especially emotionally. I keep a good healthy antennae on narcassist.
@kindacoolanimation3 жыл бұрын
@@lorimiller4301 u need therapy or some soul searching or both ..try being in solitude for a while, and busy yourself with personal development & develop your character, principles and values.
@rachelsonshine15213 жыл бұрын
@@lorimiller4301 the power of our thoughts and minds are being plagued. Be careful what you think, and say. And spend time watching and listening to & reach out to God. This will change your life
@MorganaM. Жыл бұрын
Dating a narcissist is like dating your biggest hater.
@NiijiAl-Haqq Жыл бұрын
Well put Ana!
@lizzaita Жыл бұрын
haha that's so true! I literally asked my ex "do you even like me? Like, forget love, but do you even like me as a person?"
@EmpressKidanAlebel Жыл бұрын
😂😂😂 straight up
@shamonlisaevans6365 Жыл бұрын
I asked my spouse in the first 2 months are you even attracted to me!!!! Lord
@diningroomfish5470 Жыл бұрын
WOW is that true
@phonk645 ай бұрын
An old adage on the internet is, “don’t wrestle with pigs, you just get muddy”. Same with Narcs.
@brookehall57353 жыл бұрын
“Truth tellers often become scape goated” I FELT THAT SO HARD IN MY SOUL
@lenag33293 жыл бұрын
same here
@AI-kt1gs3 жыл бұрын
You just suffered throw that phase, but on the other side is a much stronger, congruent sense of self…and you won’t tolerate being labeled or duped into being a scape goat…it comes with the love of self (the healthy kind).
@biancaschmitz27523 жыл бұрын
yes, me too!
@iriskoenigs95343 жыл бұрын
I felt so understood, it made me cry, while having flashbacks of situations where I made narcissists feel uncomfortable (unintended) with tremendous effects on my life. Getting wiser and older now, good to know that getting past this becomes easier with age!
@phoeberaymond87813 жыл бұрын
Ugh yes i still feel like i have to be that way a lot too, its not helpful a lot of the time too 😞
@frainer3 жыл бұрын
I find that Real people that are true to them selves are as rare as gold.
@rainephachoumphone91753 жыл бұрын
Good luck finding someone real in a world of lies. And nothing is real.
@briceh10013 жыл бұрын
I’m one of those real people, you speak of.
@idaliak51943 жыл бұрын
Thank you, I will now think of myself as a golden nugget 😄
@memyselfandinunya19783 жыл бұрын
I must be Gold! I lived with a narcissist for 7 days and I just had to pack my car and go! Just trusting that spirit has something better for me. This man wanted all my time energy and money! Bye 👋
@memyselfandinunya19783 жыл бұрын
@@rainephachoumphone9175 you attract what you are! There are many many real and good people you have to stop judging every person and situation, do not give it your energy, then you truly will manifest what you want! Look at it all as a lesson, everything happening for you! The universe doesn't make mistakes! Everyone and everything is you pushed out!
@jbilotta3 жыл бұрын
“Truth tellers become scapegoats.” Oh man, how true!!
@dinglebarry5283 жыл бұрын
And we don’t care. We aren’t wasting time worrying about others opinions of us. We know who we are.
@leannalee45243 жыл бұрын
Imagine a kid has been put under that situation.
@oOIIIMIIIOo3 жыл бұрын
@@leannalee4524 I got silent and avoiding. With my first child, I had to leave my shelter. 😀
@theresefournier32693 жыл бұрын
@@oOIIIMIIIOo Love, peace and joy here, going your way...
@leannalee45243 жыл бұрын
@@oOIIIMIIIOo I feel you. That’s pretty much how I felt: confused and lonely, sad. Grown up figuring out why, giving me the strength to build my own life. Sending love ❤️ to you and your child.
@starchflamingo7 ай бұрын
as an authentic autistic who knew no other way of being i found myself in the damage of repeated patterns of these relationships again and again. only learning about (late diagnosed and untreated) autism (and also narcissism) helped me. i could never understand why my honesty and vulnerability could threaten others so much.i thought i was the vulnerable one, i was told by society that i was the “weak” one. but i always stood my ground with others in various relationships, no matter how crazy they made me feel. i was unable to lose my core self somehow. and for this, they seemed angry as hell.
@vitalishus7 ай бұрын
I am not autistic as far as I know although I may be on the spectrum, I’m 64 & never been tested. I am an empath & super sensitive, but held onto my true self through it all, until the final discard. And there were times when it nearly killed me. My ex would say to me “You’re an enigma to me, no matter what I throw at you you’re always happy.” I realise now I was what he wanted to be, not what he wanted.
@ericjamesturner2 ай бұрын
This comment makes me feel less alone. Thank you for sharing your experience.
@MuffyMuffins Жыл бұрын
I've learned in my experiences that part of learning how to be authentic in the face of narcissism is learning how to be authentic in the face of your own narcissistic tendencies.
@PabloDeModeOfficial Жыл бұрын
That’s one of the greatest things a person can face.
@Richard_L_Y Жыл бұрын
is that not a contradiction in terms?
@addisonpage1 Жыл бұрын
@@Richard_L_Y everyone has the capability to be narcissistic to a extent. It’s about facing that and controlling one’s self no matter how much hurt we feel.
@netpunk5890 Жыл бұрын
@@Richard_L_Y facing one’s own occasional selfishness is an expression of self-awareness and the exact opposite of narcissism. All of us are capable of callousness on occasion, especially if we’re under a lot of stress for reasons that seem out of our own control, but the authentic person backs up and says “oh wow I’m being selfish” and makes amends and changes.
@NoNoahhhh Жыл бұрын
I dont understand? You mean authenticity in the egocentric perspective
@gigibtsurvivor33483 жыл бұрын
I am authentic. I never realized that others weren’t. Until my (ex) husband’s double life was exposed, I had no idea of how authentic I was and how inauthentic he and others are. People seem to be drawn to me because of authenticity. Even better, I have found my tribe of authentic people.
@samk23773 жыл бұрын
That's great! My resolution for 2021 is to embrace my authentic self so that I can have an authentic tribe just like you. Do you have any tips for me?
@ThunderAppeal3 жыл бұрын
Youre not authentic. Youre foolish and naive thats not a virtue you are just silly. The fact that you didnt see your husbands 'double life' is pretty much an indicator of that.
@earthpet3 жыл бұрын
@@ThunderAppeal Authentic people can still be misled, ThunderAppeal. Authentic people are not mind readers. But authentic people don't become controlled by a narcissist. That's the difference.
@lukaszmaresz61263 жыл бұрын
Or a narcissist. Im authentic everyone else around me is not... ;)
@le_th_3 жыл бұрын
When you are an honest, open, forthright person, it can be easy to (incorrectly) assume that others are, as well. It's quite an awakening to discover just how unbelievably naive you've been when you do finally seek out this information and study these character-disordered people for years. I was entirely CLUELESS there was such a large population of individuals, globally, who are so disordered that they have some kind of characterological disorder. Now I understand why people behave they way they behave, and nothing....literally nothing....that I see truly surprises me anymore. You are very fortunate to have found people who you believe are your tribe of authentics like yourself. I still haven't found those people.
@AC-ql5gb3 жыл бұрын
Narcissists sniff you out and try to isolate you in the group... but the Narcissist always reveal themselves
@YtubeUserr3 жыл бұрын
Only if the others are smart enough and have a good heart. Otherwise the others will believe all their lies
@ritika25633 жыл бұрын
If the Narcs have high social value and they get things done, then it doesn't matter. The group would not want to see right and wrong, they will choose from whom they get advantage,gifts Nd favours. Life isn't so fair and just as we expect it to be
@8656737s3 жыл бұрын
No one my family see's my covert narcissist sister for who she really is. It's so frustrating!!! I haven't talked to her in 2 year's.
@lotsofuwuenergy39833 жыл бұрын
@@8656737s Lemme guess, they also give you crap for being "rude", "disrespectful", "petty" for distancing yourself from her? Currently dealing with this from my partner's family. They can't fathom there'd be any reason you'd stop talking to a relative.
@patinipatini94353 жыл бұрын
@@8656737s And as time goes by you will feel more and more at peace with yourself ! They never change and often they have one of the parents on their side. That makes it even harder. Keep strong.
@nanikae93318 ай бұрын
I am a 25 year old recovering narcissist with parents who deny their narcissism, who have found a relationship with a 28 year old authentic person. Being in this relationship has opened my eyes to who deserves my time and space, and who has made me realize that I can take a different path. I can choose to not step into the footsteps of a narcissistic generation. When you said authentic people are found in elders, i can tell you from my POV, the youth are preceding as authentic, and that to me is incredible. As a person coming from a narcissistic background building myself to change as an authentic person, who chooses to be a better person and make better decisions, not just for other people, but because i want to be a better person. So i want to thank you Dr. Ramani for your personal input. I will look forward to checking out your podcast.
@ellebee39983 жыл бұрын
I had always thought of myself as "authentic." But this made me realize that being a "people pleaser" is NOT being authentic to myself. Thank you, Dr. Ramani!
@abdulraheemfatimah47603 жыл бұрын
Best tips for you is don't involve in any unreasonable scenario but don't tolerate what will affect you and learn to reject somethings most importantly don't try to hurt others by overreacting.
@ellebee39983 жыл бұрын
@@abdulraheemfatimah4760 That would make sense if I were a Vulcan.😉
@kilroywashere1233 жыл бұрын
I thought the exact same thing. Listening to this makes me want to sit down take a few deep breaths and calm myself.
@mamasuzy793 жыл бұрын
Yes. This is huge.
@FaerieElethia3 жыл бұрын
Word, I feel the exact same way
@jonnyaesthetic3 жыл бұрын
This powerful and wise woman is literally saving my life. Growing up with a Narcissistic father and seeking solace in my brother only to realize he to is a narcissist. 35 years later I’m finally free. I’m grateful for you Dr Ramani, it’s finally time to heal and move on.
@RohitSharma-on1ye3 жыл бұрын
Man me too 35yrs to understand it was a movie script i was played on
@jonnyaesthetic3 жыл бұрын
@T M Thank you so much brother! Back at you fam!
@missym51963 жыл бұрын
I'm sorry I've just had to keep my family at a distance
@babysab80133 жыл бұрын
Hi Jonathan. I have some narcissists around me since I am an empath. What I noticed lately is they are very, very insecure people, way more insecure than the regular person. So you need to start to rely on yourself
@MZHARDBODYENT3 жыл бұрын
Exactly my entire family is I let everyone go!! She is awesome!!!
@jeanetteredden242 жыл бұрын
The authentic person likes themself, is confident, self-ssured, wise, genuine, yet kind and/or neutral when dealing with toxic people. They have very healthy boundaries and are not duped by deceivers. Like a protective shield.
@lululestat2 жыл бұрын
Facts!
@jamessmyth39522 жыл бұрын
That’s a very good way of putting it.
@francescafrancesca35542 жыл бұрын
@@jamessmyth3952 I completely agree.
@francescafrancesca35542 жыл бұрын
Thanks for sharing that! Truly. I'll keep it in mind.
@888Delphi2 жыл бұрын
I feel best when I sense it within & around myself as an rich calming power emanating from within me, and it just so happens to repel. The “shield” concept felt like a protector from outside of myself. This self-emanating essence feels always present, always effective, if I focus on it. The best advice, the most effective advice that I have acted on as an empath… Was “focus on your separateness.” My whole world changed. Focus on your separateness. It’s the opposite of what we normally hear. Empaths don’t need to focus on connection; that happens automatically. We have to focus on separateness and feel what separateness feels like. Then we were able to feel our authenticity; And it feels so good!
@blugirl2145 ай бұрын
“The most beautiful people we have known are those who have known defeat, known suffering, known struggle, known loss, and have found their way out of the depths,” wrote Elisabeth Kübler-Ross. “These persons have an appreciation, a sensitivity, and an understanding of life that fills them with compassion, gentleness, and a deep loving concern. Beautiful people do not just happen.” . Can confirm. I feel blessed to be living authentically at 42 with peace in my heart and soul in alignment with who I am and my purpose. Trust me. When your peace and authenticity have been so hard won, you understand the importance of protecting it. But you also understand other people who haven’t quite gotten there yet.
@teal10103 жыл бұрын
"The more authentic you become, the more resistant you will be to Narcissists.....they'll definitely speak bad about you behind your back, but if you're authentic enough, you won't care!" 💞
@MsZephyra3 жыл бұрын
And weak-minded people will believe their BS instead of coming to their own conclusions about you.
@YtubeUserr3 жыл бұрын
@@MsZephyra I have a Narc mom. And what you both say is true.
@walden58593 жыл бұрын
I was recently struggling to decide if I should go to a family event, knowing it was a trap set by the N, because if I didn't I would be crucified behind my back for not going. Then I realized, they are surely talking horribly about me anyway, so why walk into their trap to "prevent" them from having more fodder? Plus, if they needed more fodder, they would just make it up anyway.
@wesley64423 жыл бұрын
It's almost like a really cool superpower, sometimes when I am going about my job people will make cold, mean remarks towards me and it doesn't bother me anymore.. I know my worth and that I am special, authentic and a good person
@maddicefalu7986 Жыл бұрын
My husband with a lot of ASD characteristics is like this and deeply authentic. Watching him interact with a narcissist in our family is so interesting. He is never rude or disrespectful but all the attempts to manipulate and even love bomb my husband do not work which makes the narcissist visibly uncomfortable
@TrollBot.11 ай бұрын
Its amazing isn't it! I had narcs all my life and learning to deal with my trauma and to now having to be contempt with myself its so easy to identify a narc and throw them off their shits and then why they try to make everyone hate me they end up exposing themselves because when people know your true authenticity not everyone can make up rumors about you because your real and everyones know your heart! The same can't be said about narcs 😂
@armadaministries628311 ай бұрын
I am ASD and my narcissistic (aspd) estranged husband would try to manipulate and emotionally abuse me, and I just absolutely annihilated him with pure logic every time, he couldn’t stand it😂😄
@slizzle11 ай бұрын
Same
@vitormonteiro731311 ай бұрын
My little daughter is also on the spectrum of ASD. She's very authentic, and only shows affection to some people. She has a level of awareness that's very clear to me and my wife. When we go out with our daughter, she will very quickly identify someone she doesn't like. I know by her display of discomfort and facial expression.
@maddicefalu798611 ай бұрын
@@vitormonteiro7313 people on the spectrum truly are the most authentic humans you can meet and good judges of character. Charisma doesn’t work for them and they can see right through it into genuine intentions. It’s very cool and I aspire to be more like that!!!
@sherrymesser94102 жыл бұрын
Authenticity is typically hard earned but such a blissful place to be.
@lollersaqwescfgvh2 жыл бұрын
Couldn’t agree more
@ElephantPatronus5 ай бұрын
Out of ALL of the many, many videos I have watched in my attempts to heal from narcissist abuse, THIS was the video that I needed the most. Authenticity = Freedom. ✨ Thank you, thank you, thank you! 🙏
@estherann74075 ай бұрын
I believe the same way; this video put the icing on the cake for me and provided the missing piece of a god-awful puzzle I've been trying to put together for over 60 years. Move over narcissistic family...authenticity coming through!
@ElephantPatronus4 ай бұрын
@@estherann7407 Love that! ❤️
@hannabaal1503 жыл бұрын
Be yourself. Everyone else is taken. - OscarWilde
@chrisl69893 жыл бұрын
That's a good one.
@madeofcastiron3 жыл бұрын
i don't really get blown away by quotes often, but woah, that's a really good one, and a simple quote to remember at that. thank you for sharing.
@Uriel-Septim.3 жыл бұрын
"Know thy self" --Oracle of delphi.
@hannabaal1503 жыл бұрын
@@Uriel-Septim. “To be is to do”-Socrates. “To do is to be”-Jean-Paul Sartre. “Do be do be do” -- Frank Sinatra
@dnwitte2 жыл бұрын
A couple of years ago I had the interesting experience of having a malignant narc boss replaced by an authentic person boss. The quality of life improvement is off the charts.
@lovelylinda8891 Жыл бұрын
Lol. Happy for ya man!🥰
@shwets_thats_me5 ай бұрын
lucky you! god blessed you😇
@arielzhang33242 жыл бұрын
I feel authenticity comes when you have that full and deep acceptance of yourself
@gunz19552 жыл бұрын
I absolutely agree 1000%! 😊
@callanc39252 жыл бұрын
the whole "this is the way i am, im not trying to hide it, if people dont like it thats their problem not mine," while recognising actual short comings of course
@darktwistedlady2 жыл бұрын
I see authenticity as the end result of emotional growth. It is being a fully emotionally mature adult. Narcissism is a form of emotional immaturity/maldevelopement. The ones who can't grow are the ones who never learnt to separate their own self from that of their primary caregiver(s), something that normally happens at around age 4. That's why they either treat others as objects or as an extension of themselves to reward or punish as they please.
@BranchofWellnessCounselingPLLC11 ай бұрын
Authenticity requires a great deal of mastering peace within oneself. This allows one to remain true to one self. Meaning you don't feel compelled to hide your true self. This level of peace and confidence rocks a narcissist to their core.
@careymoore18793 жыл бұрын
I think it pisses the narcissist off when their efforts don't affect us
@marieborchardt29103 жыл бұрын
The best revenge
@sixthsenseamelia46953 жыл бұрын
Indifference. Any attention is better than none to narcissists - good or bad, as long as they are center stage. The squeaky wheel gets the most oil. That's why walking works - feet don't have wheels 😁
@true39803 жыл бұрын
I returned an unopened Christmas hoover and now he's in the rage stage. Like a spoiled toddler. I authentically laugh because I took back the power I gave him.
@sixthsenseamelia46953 жыл бұрын
@@true3980 🤣 I've gone a step further. I don't return the gifts or acknowledge they've sent them. Maintain 100% radio silence. I give them to someone random who really appreciates it. So far, a tablet & gucci perfume has gone to a very happy teenage neighbour 😂😆🤣
@true39803 жыл бұрын
@@sixthsenseamelia4695 I'll be your neighbor. 🥰
@CG-fy6gk3 жыл бұрын
Who else was passive and is now transitioning to be authentic?
@sonnenblume27203 жыл бұрын
Yes! 💪💪💪💪
@ohnree41103 жыл бұрын
Started out as golden child, but was mean to others. Then suffered for years from neglect from friends and family. I lost all the spice from golden child years and became passive and observant, putting my feelings down in face of others. Now I'm trying to return to a peaceful, authentic life with an added gratitude and graciousness for others
@johngregory48013 жыл бұрын
I'm long done with passive... But am hopeful I'll continue passing through the "angry at bullies" part to where I can keep my cool in the future... Instead of delivering the elbow shots that those in my past deserved.
@missymoonwillow65453 жыл бұрын
I got monkey in me, there is no passive, except under extreme stress, i submit and let higher self guide. I have strong survivor instinct due to trauma from early childhood on. Some of us get super human abilities cracked open under these types of pressures. medical says such things are disabilities. I choose to look at the up side of life.
@aubreysottile82763 жыл бұрын
@@johngregory4801 they’re smaller people.. the smaller you are the less moral integrity you possess. Bullies are so self absorbed that, they don’t realize how much they’re just taking giant shits wherever they go, if a bully ever actually became cognizant of why they bully people, jeesh. Good luck 🍀
@BDSandM Жыл бұрын
My late aunt was definitely an authentic person. I recall an incident when I was a child where she said something noncombative (I don't remember exactly what it was anymore) and one of her cousins said "speak for yourself" in retort. It took me aback, as I did not expect my aunt to be met with such a hostile response, for no apparent reason. You know what my aunt did? She immediately responded in the most calm and kind voice "fair enough" and went about her business. I thought her reaction was so mature and graceful. She was a sweet woman, and there were people around her who were jealous of her blessings--blessings which she deserved. My mother was one such person who was jealous of her. May Auntie Bonnie rest in peace.
@lovelylinda8891 Жыл бұрын
Sorry about your Aunt. Glad you were blessed with the time you did spend with her. Glad she was a source of positive inspiration for you.
@ikwikwi Жыл бұрын
Nonsense. No such thing as an authentic person in psychology. And the word narcissist is peddled around by ignoramuses who don't even know what it means
@benegesseritsis Жыл бұрын
@@ikwikwi fair enough
@marymorris6897 Жыл бұрын
Sammy, even one authentic person in your life is a blessing. I'm glad your aunt left you such good memories, and an excellent example to follow.
@garyneilson3075 Жыл бұрын
I had an aunt Nila like that, she loved everyone especially children and did the nicest, most memorable things in our lives everyone should have an aunt Bonnie or an aunt Nila! I wish they did!
@Nikfar217 ай бұрын
Thank you, Dr. Ramani❤ Authenticity is really about self-mastery; knowing who you are, knowing your values and doing EVERYTHING in alignment with those set values and your true self!
@kimmy78726 Жыл бұрын
Being around a healthy, authentic person is liberating bc it allows you to fully be yourself and not have to cater to the narc's fragile emotions.
@alexisteague4134 Жыл бұрын
Word on the street is authenticpeople like hearing this.
@PM-wp6ze Жыл бұрын
To add to your comment they also inspire and cause you to have a drive within yourself. They are a blessing to everyone around them wise enough to appreciate them.
@Beth-iv4lj Жыл бұрын
That's a luxury not everyone has now. Some people are dealing with whole systems processing them. The poor the elderly and disabled the economically weak and young but emotionally wise that got through with health and mental health in tact. A lady in a uniform assigned to their address, could be a personality or a helper. It's a casino out there now. Mental health advice needs to be given to people to deal with npd you negotiate from orderlies, and officers, people you literally cannot walk away from. Think "one flew over the cookoos nest" Tell people how to negotiate that sort of situation doc. Before the day comes you can't
@charlottelouise209 Жыл бұрын
@@Beth-iv4ljThere is always a time and a place. Only an idiot thinks all lives situations are black and white. You can always be true to yourself though and being poor or suffering from mental health problems doesn't stop that. It's like you can't always speak your mind unless you want sacking if you are at work. Knowing what's appropriate helps to but some people haven't got a clue about that.
@Beth-iv4lj Жыл бұрын
@@charlottelouise209 the people assigned to the poor to process them in various ways after the corona virus had real mental health issues. Difficult people But social status. Nobody could say anything a long time. I think they had a clue
@jolly77283 жыл бұрын
Authentic people do get "bothered" by the narcissist, but their authenticity allows them to get over it in a heart beat. It's like swatting a fly away.
@marilynteed3 жыл бұрын
This authentic person has done medical research and discovered that her x-boyfriend had all the symptoms of a Narcissist and Asperger's, however the CAUSE is not intentional. These behaviors develop due to having to deal with the toxins being produced in their system. Parasites/Worms and other Amoebic parasites are rampant in these people. They live in a brain fog and their behaviors are developed to cover up their incorrectly diagnosed internal parasites. Parasites emit 5 toxins. Formaldehyde, Amphetamines, Histamines, Ammonia and Morphine. Any Authentic person getting a daily dose of these chemicals will ultimately develop some defensive behaviors. If you really want to CURE your clients then deworm them first and then help them control their parasites while helping them deal with the transition. Many like my x have lived with parasites their whole life and never knew it. My x had his appendix removed as a child(more than likely filled with worms) and had physical development /growth problems. All affected by these toxins in his system. The Main Stream Medical Community does NOT test for parasites. Some parasites live in the lymph system and not the GI tract. How these parasites get in they lymph system is still a mystery. For more information on this please watch The Universal Antidote Documentary on Rumble dot com. Here is the link rumble.com/vdey7t-the-universal-antidote.html
@jolly77283 жыл бұрын
@@marilynteed This is an interesting angle... Not sure we would know what we're supposed to do with this "information."
@YtubeUserr3 жыл бұрын
If the narc is your mom or dad, then it's not that easy.
@lotsofuwuenergy39833 жыл бұрын
I mean when you take a step back and see the absurdity of it all, it's hard to take it to heart and give a shit. Though, it's always sad to see people being lied to, become disconnected from reality, and damage their relationships JUST for their ego.
@benkelly71823 жыл бұрын
@@marilynteed lolllllllll
@4plus2wj3 жыл бұрын
Authentic in my opinion is a person who is honest about what they feel, and think. Regardless of their positive, or negative personalities.
@peppermintgal43023 жыл бұрын
Narcissists are often open about their feelings.
@itscris013 жыл бұрын
Well, this is what narcissists are, but to a negative degree. Authentic people are honest about their feelings but they don’t do things with an ulterior motive. They don’t try to undermine a person’s abilities for the attention or sense of self-grandeur it’ll get them or disingenuously try to flatter someone in an attempt to try and manipulate them later.
@calfagra3 жыл бұрын
Authentic is not the opposite of narcissistic. You can be authentic but narcissistic so even if you are narcissistic you can say that you have narcissistic trait without sugarcoat it (some of them often become comedian). But there is authentic but also kind person who is one of the best person you could ever met. There is a authentic and bad person too, the character who portray that is Joker. And there's also narcissistic and delusional person who think good about themselves but actually the opposite or you could say a hypocrite.
@umt64293 жыл бұрын
@@peppermintgal4302 I think better description of authentic people if thier consider the oposit eof narcissists is that they a re self aware and open to criticism
@aleisterlowenstein95263 жыл бұрын
Thank you
@Stephmjay56710 ай бұрын
I feel like authenticity is the ultimate goal in life. I don’t think anyone is born this way, you either become super in tune with yourself and grow into your authentic self. However to be authentic you must possess emotional intelligence, which for myself is something I have gained through life experiences. I feel like narcissistic relationships bring out your authenticity when you finally start to heal. You reflect and in hindsight realize just how different you would respond to many situations now. The wisdom gained through life shapes you becoming more and more authentic each day.
@lmm15869 ай бұрын
Very well put. It’s true that with age most of us healthy thinkers move toward authenticity.
@ShadowsMasquerade9 ай бұрын
I kinda agree but then not really because I think children are generally authentic, even their tantrums are an authentic expression of what they feel (so I guess, I would disagree with Dr. Ramani's definition...she probably more means 'individuated' or as close to that as one can humanly be, which children aren't in a conscious sense. This is a semantic issue so kind of irrelevant I guess). Trauma changes them, some will become narcissists, others wounded but can heal later if they do the work and become authentic again but in a grown up way, with a pattern of emotional regulation and not reacting on 'cue' due to triggers. That's what I aim for myself.
@MySerpentine8 ай бұрын
As Socrates said, the unexamined life is not worth living.
@tjtj71613 жыл бұрын
I wouldn't say I'm "authentic" or unbotherable, but sometimes I'm pretty good at just ignoring people and making it super awkward to be mean to me.
@kindacoolanimation3 жыл бұрын
if you do that long enough, you'll gain a personality disorder..do that to cope for now..but work towards, being authentic, developing integrity, and (healthy) detachment from this world (including people).
@holly35033 жыл бұрын
@TJTJ, how do you make it awkward for people to be mean to you?
@audriiiiroberts30303 жыл бұрын
@@holly3503 I feel like I do something along this. You just point out their “attacks” and say them out loud, and logically show them how weird they are being.
@aaronbrown83773 жыл бұрын
@@kindacoolanimation I don't think this is unhealthy. If anything, I don't think we gave enough information to determine what exactly he's doing. From the sounds of it, it seems like he's denying them their gratification for being rude.
@GTA2SWcity3 жыл бұрын
I notice denying these kind of people their satisfaction will tend to do that especially if it's aimed at making a public spectacle to make themselves look good. The only time using their own shame against them or making it obvious to the public doesn't work is if they are already dead-set on landing some kind of hit against you where they don't care about the fallout it causes. Whatever sideways dance they do to rationalizing their actions might make them look bad. Narcs tend to be emboldened to do this more online because they can cover their tracks. Rarely have I met any narcissist who does this in person. That said, I do have a friend who has always been a bit like this. But after 20 years it's obvious his self grandiosity hasn't materialized any great life for himself. He needs me more than I need him. I'm sure he'll view it as some sort of betrayal when this apartment complex is finally either too expensive or gets condemned and I move out of this town instead of staying here next door. I got enough of my own issues to deal with.
@alwaysmichellemaree21553 жыл бұрын
It's true that the narc doesn't like or pursue the honest transparent person. I think honesty intimidates them and inside they know they are disfunctional and they don't like that inferior feeling. So yes! They will go talk bad about you to almost everyone you know. I heard this Proverb and it went something like, when people bare false witness against honest people it's only a matter of time before honesty revels the truth....I have experienced this Proverbs without having to defend myself because true honest character will always dispel a lie!
@victorialadybug13 жыл бұрын
Yes, indeed.
@VR-mz3fq3 жыл бұрын
Powerful, insightful statement.
@kimgibbs65853 жыл бұрын
Congratulations for moving forth with your life. Bravo to you. Remain strong and resilient as you journey to new beginnings. What's for certain and always count on. This quote. By the late Maya Angelou. "When a person shows you who they are. Believe them the first time." The simplicity as you heal in spite of the experiences. Hold truth that. Winners (YOU) never lose and losers (Narcissist) never win. It's a waste of time trying to help the narcissist save themselves from themsleves. The Narcissist live in a trap mental personality disorder. That will always be lived in a world filled with darkness and unhappiness their entire life. Believe me I known and seen many narcissistic people have no peace. Not even narcissist taking their last breath. They die with a tortured soul. God gives the narcissist an opportunity to repent from their sins. This would give the narcissist a chance to finally be free from their demons for eternity in heaven. Rather than spend eternity in the fire within a burning bottomless pit. In a place called hell.
@roseaduke88353 жыл бұрын
Speak up/Assert yourself when confronted though. Don't be silent. It can let the damage fester so deep&wide that the wound leaves a massive scar.
@makeacomment10013 жыл бұрын
Very well said. Exceptional comment
@itsmemicha2 жыл бұрын
Always step away! My late husband used to say “I want them in my heart, but not in my life” when he referred to the family members that he chose to step away from and have little contact with. Toxic narcissistic people will find a way to disturb your peace. Walk away and take control of your inner power.
@GreenEnvy.2 жыл бұрын
Your beauty radiates like the sun Micha.
@TheFawnbradfield2 жыл бұрын
That is the most balanced and loving way of describing the situation I have ever heard. Thank you for sharing your late husbands wise words. Was it his parents? I am having some guilt and troubled feelings around the mothers day/father day time.
@MacSmithVideo2 жыл бұрын
Good quote
@lauriegills7734 ай бұрын
I became “Aware, Authentic” after I finally learned to heal and love myself. After being in a narcissist, emotionally abusive relationship for decades a huge lightbulb went off! And I found the missing piece to the puzzle! I could see things/him so clearly. I was so dissociated , depressed, unhealthy throughout all the years. Very hard. But now I can see my healthy future. 💪🏻🙏🏻🧘🏻♀️❤
@user-uo7wg5br8n3 жыл бұрын
Truly authentic people have zero Fs to give for other people's BS.
@tammyhollis15193 жыл бұрын
In contrast, authentic people are more kind-hearted than to walk around with a chip, that says, "I give zero Fs (sic)" on their shoulders. An authentic person doesn't get "triggered."
@kdphotos46913 жыл бұрын
@@tammyhollis1519 - no one gets "triggered." That word has a specific meaning pertaining to PTSD. A mental health crisis is triggered by an event which brings up a memory. Yes, authentic people can get upset over things. That is part of being authentic.
@tammyhollis15193 жыл бұрын
@@kdphotos4691 I agree the word is used in association with ptsd; I have ptsd. However, the word is not strictly assigned to ptsd.
@marilynteed3 жыл бұрын
This authentic person has done medical research and discovered that her x-boyfriend had all the symptoms of a Narcissist and Asperger's, however the CAUSE is not intentional. These behaviors develop due to having to deal with the toxins being produced in their system. Parasites/Worms and other Amoebic parasites are rampant in these people. They live in a brain fog and their behaviors are developed to cover up their incorrectly diagnosed internal parasites. Parasites emit 5 toxins. Formaldehyde, Amphetamines, Histamines, Ammonia and Morphine. Any Authentic person getting a daily dose of these chemicals will ultimately develop some defensive behaviors. If you really want to CURE your clients then deworm them first and then help them control their parasites while helping them deal with the transition. Many like my x have lived with parasites their whole life and never knew it. My x had his appendix removed as a child(more than likely filled with worms) and had physical development /growth problems. All affected by these toxins in his system. The Main Stream Medical Community does NOT test for parasites. Some parasites live in the lymph system and not the GI tract. How these parasites get in they lymph system is still a mystery. For more information on this please watch The Universal Antidote Documentary on Rumble dot com. Here is the link rumble.com/vdey7t-the-universal-antidote.html
@theresefournier32693 жыл бұрын
@@kdphotos4691 No one? Funny! Cause, they sure do get triggered, at sooooo much, it's not funny. Too easily too... wow ...
@bratzsnoopy Жыл бұрын
Authentic people use gentle parenting techniques with narcissists 😂😂
@tiaslays255 Жыл бұрын
Like?
@alteroxx Жыл бұрын
changing topics, smiling and laughing at their criticism in a calmly manner, literally taking their word as it came from a child in the body of an adult..
@Red80008 Жыл бұрын
@@cicin9313 I would go even further and say: being lovingly and compassionately reactive to behaivour that is specifically designed to usually gain dismissive reactions in order to justifiy a victimisation of oneself. Non-reactive might just provoke another attempt. Contrary reaction might convince to stop.
@Red80008 Жыл бұрын
That's probably so true because narcissism usually comes from a dark place in one's childhood that lacked any parenting let alone a gentle one...
@vw5036 Жыл бұрын
Omg how true is this?
@HeatherSierraVEVO3 жыл бұрын
It’s really wild thinking about the abuse my mother put me through, and from a very young age, I was highly perceptive, and I literally would look her in the eyes and tell her “Don’t talk to me like that, it’s not okay”, or I would have these long conversation trying to show her that there’s more than one way to do things, and it might look different, but it was acceptable. She couldn’t stand me because I stood up for myself and my siblings no matter what, and I would call out in as calm, well rounded, and respectful a manner as possible the ways she was mistreating me. And, of course; as I got older, she couldn’t stand it, so she gaslit me to hell and broke me down, not unlike how the military breaks people down and remolds them during boot camp, etc. It’s taken 7 years to find myself again. But I feel Fucking alive and I’m so fucking thankful every day for that younger me who chose this current version of me over everything else.
@holly35033 жыл бұрын
Same here. I’m starting to think I was authentic all along but then got traumatized and couldn’t see my authenticity very clearly anymore. Now that I’ve shut every single toxic person out of my life I’m rediscovering my authenticity. The truth is a beautiful thing. It’s the stuff poems are made of. ☺️🌟
@kokobunni58973 жыл бұрын
Yes!! I needed to read this, thank you!
@biancaschmitz27523 жыл бұрын
very touching to read! strong you, congratulate for keeping up being in alignment with who you are.
@melindatimpf77373 жыл бұрын
Good for you for keeping on, woman! Be YOU!
@nicoleworkman31423 жыл бұрын
Girl I've been to boot camp, plus 5 years in...SO MUCH NARCISSISM.
@nanderrander97615 ай бұрын
does anyone else just think that dr ramani is such a beautiful soul. every new video im wowed by the aura she exudes. hopefully one day i can radiate just like that
@lifemusic19803 жыл бұрын
It's both a gift and a curse to be able to spot Narcissists so quickly and easily. Props to anyone who has to deal with them on a daily basis. You're a warrior.
@malaikavida3 жыл бұрын
Or, just walk away. If possible. I am planning to move north to get away from the narc's sphere of influence. This decision empowered me. Even if I do not move away for good, it helps to think outside the box.
@lifemusic19803 жыл бұрын
@@malaikavida good for you! Glad you can get away. I meant more for people who have to deal with co-parenting or similar situations.
@cincin45153 жыл бұрын
My neighbour. We share a front patio in a split building. No escape.
@oxm183 жыл бұрын
You don't spot them they show that out from themselves!
@JustinMcCorkle3 жыл бұрын
Well said in that it’s both a gift and a curse.
@Potatocheesebread3 жыл бұрын
I think it’s important for a narcissist to be around authentic people. I’ve had a friend in high school, she wasn’t rich, wasn’t extremely smart, but she has this “quiet confidence” that she really doesn’t bother when someone is better than her, something a narcissist can’t handle. Growing up with narcissistic mother, I always wonder how this friend of mine is extremely comfortable with herself. Then I met her family, and got all the answers lol. She grew up with such a genuine and kind family, which is probably the reason why she had a sense of self-security in such a young age.
@Contessa9983 жыл бұрын
Thanks for sharing. That was great. Take care and God bless
@sja63313 жыл бұрын
It also happens when people grew up with narcs, they experience trauma and if they work in themselves they realise they can only control how they react not what others say or do so they just focus on themselves and preserving g their peace
@alonzomosley73 жыл бұрын
I had the same experience, grew up with a complete narc family.My best friend family I just loved because they were loving and they were confident etc Kids just excelled in school
@sja63313 жыл бұрын
@@alonzomosley7 sometimes we get early examples of what not to do / to become . Hope you’re emotionally protected from them now x
@caitlinallhusen91583 жыл бұрын
Hoping I'm doing the same for my kids!
@jamaisvu83653 жыл бұрын
Authentic people are the salt of the Earth.♥️
@lisakelley91783 жыл бұрын
Thank you for this video!
@jamaisvu83653 жыл бұрын
@@baNkzFortnite lmfao pls do not triangulate steaks bcuz I love steak
@cindyann44743 жыл бұрын
Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha 😅😂😀 "God is Good" ♥️
@aware2action4 ай бұрын
One unintended consequence of being authentic, is being labeled rude. So, you should be ready to accept that, apart from being truthful.❤👍
@beaustur3 ай бұрын
right. or an "asshole"
@randomfornow3 ай бұрын
Yea!
@redtango763 жыл бұрын
Dealing with a narcissist taught me that being open about my life and experience takes the power away from the narcissist. They will try to hold over you the things they think you don't want the world to know but if you're already telling the world they have nothing useful to threaten you. That doesn't mean I overshare with strangers regularly it just means that I own all the parts of who I am good, bad, and ugly, and don't keep it under lock and key. If I am telling the world my truth it cant be used to hurt me. Narcissists hate it because they are always grasping for a way to control you.
@christianpulisic77843 жыл бұрын
Somewhere,You don't need a narc 😈 in your life!!
@tonyclark19253 жыл бұрын
I definitely do the same thing and it has saved my ass in many social situations. Before I learned about narcissism I just thought it was an annoying trait that some people have. I'm seeing the bigger picture now.
@brendawilliams87153 жыл бұрын
The one skill I taught all my children was composure. Don't blow up, shake it off, and ignore negative talk. Best shield ever in life.
@Seasofsophia3 жыл бұрын
Sounds like people who are spiritually and emotionally mature
@fay99053 жыл бұрын
Absolutely!
@terryboot77773 жыл бұрын
Homeopathically too.
@BrenPeters3 жыл бұрын
You got it!!!
@valenciawalker64983 жыл бұрын
Yes
@cindyann44743 жыл бұрын
Yes, Amen ...
@josephmccormick-qv9rs5 ай бұрын
"If you are humble nothing will touch you, neither praise nor disgrace, because you know what you are." ~ Mother Teresa
@CaliWeHo3 ай бұрын
"Mother" Teresa was a cruel, sick twisted *narcissist* who exploited the poorest of people. She did nothing to help them as she told them suffering made them closer to God.
@Peachu_n_Goma_Home2 ай бұрын
Mother teresa is not a gd person
@ebonyjewel-star8663 жыл бұрын
I was an introverted child with strong intuition abt people. I think I was born intuitive. Introverts do not make for good supply for narcissists and do not gravitate to inauthenticity. So I was mistreated a lot by my toxic family. I guess they sensed I was different and I sent from an early age that they weren't really nice. I was bullied a lot by my own family growing up.
@mynameiselvispresleygirlsa59113 жыл бұрын
I hope they are nicer now
@user-fu1nw7kh2h3 жыл бұрын
Same , Ebony.
@user-fu1nw7kh2h3 жыл бұрын
Francois Gouws , She has , that’s how she is able to talk about it calmly.
@ebonyjewel-star8663 жыл бұрын
@@francoisgouws7288 narc trolling anti narcissism youtube comments.
@francoisgouws72883 жыл бұрын
@@ebonyjewel-star866 Well spotted!
@Deanriley3 жыл бұрын
As a senior I have found age definitely makes it easier to live authentically.
@karinberryman20093 жыл бұрын
It certainly does! We’ve learned what/who not to be intimidated by.
@kindacoolanimation3 жыл бұрын
@@karinberryman2009 and whats that
@lyricarol3 жыл бұрын
Anyone.
@dtulip13 жыл бұрын
YES :)
@bellarainbow42963 жыл бұрын
Not really, I know most people who are very sensitive despite their age.
@kimber19112 жыл бұрын
My wife has this ability to see people for who they are fairly quickly. She's a 1%'er when it comes to empathy and sensing what others are about.
@voyaristika56732 жыл бұрын
What a lovely thing to share about your wife. God bless you both.
@DivaDivine882 жыл бұрын
How blessed you are have her 💯👌🏾
@cramp42212 жыл бұрын
AwwwWWW! I love your love! thank you so much for sharing, on the right vid
@gatekeeperboxing58982 жыл бұрын
She sounds like a good person to be around, good for you.
@prabir.someshwar2 жыл бұрын
INFJ?
@nancyguo016 ай бұрын
I feel I am moving towards more and more authentic person. My narssatic mother been saying a lot. She doesn’t regnoise me anymore. When she was poking me into low vibrations. Many times I just brushed it off. Of course after a while it did gets to me. But I am very different. I do not play her game or trying to engage when she wants me to fights. I also don’t want to heal or change people anymore. Which used to be my patterns. I am done . I love myself enough to be truthful to myself , so I am honest to the world too. Also not engaged to the low vibration. I have my whole life ahead of me to do others things that build me up. And in bliss and happiness ❤. I simply walk away from things that cause me hurt and pain. I trust my inner guidance and wisdom
@ZackaryFlock6 ай бұрын
Story sounds similar sending luck and prayers
@potaterjim3 жыл бұрын
"Hey yeah! This describes me perfectly! I'm a _super_ authentic pserson!" *Said all the narcissists, calmly*
@MyouKyuubi3 жыл бұрын
I actually found a comment that said "I'm coming to terms that i'm an authentic person.". As if coming to terms with your authenticity was some kind of negative thing you have to bitterly accept about yourself. :P Narcissistic humble-brag if i ever saw one. xD
@thebeautifullibra113 жыл бұрын
Rightttt🤣🤣🤣🤣
@RR-fb3xd3 жыл бұрын
Reminds me of every one on social media who constantly share memes about howbtheir coworkers are stupid. Theyre always conveniently the smart ones lol
@Ninishiningleaf3 жыл бұрын
My husband does this all the time 🤣😭🥴
@RR-fb3xd3 жыл бұрын
@@MyouKyuubi like when people say “my toxic trait is that im too caring”
@annafidler90113 жыл бұрын
Authentic people defense moves: 1. Self-valuing: when you value yourself, you don't need other's currency in the form of attention, praise or opinion. Your currency is your own self -love. 2. Self-respect: when you respect yourself, you know what you deserve and don't deserve and don't tolerate the latter. 3. Self-reflection: allows a person to navigate arguments, negativity and toxicity without hostility and blaming others. Not arguing with a narcissist takes away part of their voice, silencing their ego. 4. Self-confidence: confidence is the key to being able to trust your own judgement when you need to most. A person who can see red flags and run from the very beginning will likely avoid ever getting close to a narcissist in the first place. Notice how the above defense mechanisms begin with the word "self". Your protection mechanisms and ability to heal will not be available to you in their most efficient form until you fix whatever is preventing their full formation.
@alaalfa88393 жыл бұрын
Sam Vaknin says that there is also healthy narcissism to achieve healthy goals etc... for example if little kids are narcissistic it means its healthy for them to create the individual self.... What Dr. Ramani says its pathological narcissism... who lack healthy narcissism.
@annafidler90113 жыл бұрын
@@alaalfa8839 "Healthy narcissism" sends my oxymoron warning system haywire. Little kids aren't narcissistic, they just haven't had the time to learn critical thinking skills, self-reflection and how to take responsibility. Narcissists are the fully formed version of the kids who never learned. Only now, their brains aren't growing anymore, poor habits have become character and irreversible destruction has been done.
@TheArmoful3 жыл бұрын
They're not defence mechanisms, if I get it right, what u're saying. They are coping skills. Defences all confuse/compromize reality in one way or the other. And authenticity does not
@Gigilamer3 жыл бұрын
Thank you for these wise words. They really helped me
@poddopetals3 жыл бұрын
i have all covered except confidence , gotta work on that
@christinegeary48772 жыл бұрын
As an authentic person (I’m just over 60), the games of the narcissist don’t faze me at all. You’re right; I can see right through them.
@jamesarmstrong41792 жыл бұрын
Christine Geary,You are beautiful,you don't need a narcissist in your life......
@butreallydoh81332 жыл бұрын
HAHA yes! Weird isn't it? Like many people who are in lala land just interact with them but once they know you know, they're much darker and it's uncomfortable for both because we both know hahaha
@bethmorano14522 жыл бұрын
It took me a long time but I am there too. Now just to cut that last thread of contact with my divorce. I’d rather live under a bridge than live with him anymore.
@shantellcobb70672 жыл бұрын
ME too 😌
@crackers10392 жыл бұрын
My mother is over 60 and exactly the same. BUT I’ve seen her be this way forever. She has that odd immunity. So self assured she glides right past and never gets snagged.
@GabrielleP3107 ай бұрын
I have done a lot of self-work and continue to do so. Am in my early 30s and will never get married nor have kids. I had a traumatic childhood. An old soul. I have so far only attracted 2 people who are narcissists while I was briefly dating them. Brief because I walked away in less than 3 months because their behaviors signified poor boundaries, defensiveness, manipulation, edging, silent-treatment, and etc… I am an authentic person.
@indraneilsengupta253424 күн бұрын
Having a traumatic and stressful childhood myself I can completely relate to why you decided on not getting married and having kids, even I am in my early 30s and as Im getting older my thoughts are quite similar to yours, have a wonderful rest of your life. Cheers!
@stefangebhard70742 жыл бұрын
Through the process of learning and growing over the years, I have found that authentic people are made of rich substance. A narcissist, by contrast, are only made of shadows and illusions to the things that are real. An authentic person ‘walks the walk’. A narcissist ‘talks the talk’.
@mariehernandez58782 жыл бұрын
Well expressed!
@ifoxfirei2 жыл бұрын
Yes! Paying attention to what a person "does" vs "says" is a big clue. It took me a while to notice that in my own toxic relationship.
@blueskiies2 жыл бұрын
💯 this. I had someone in my life who often used the phrase "I say a lot of things" as a means to avoid accountability.
@cherrymcgillicuddy63002 жыл бұрын
I know one of these.
@dulcamia2 жыл бұрын
I absolutely love this comparison! Spot on! 👌🏽
@TheGreatMoonFrog3 жыл бұрын
I think this is why my narcassistic boss didn't like me. He just didn't know how to handle me. He knew I played drums and he did to and he would keep trying put down my skills or boost his, but he was mediocre and I had a music degree in jazz performance, toured, recorded albums. I was so confident in my abilities in that regards that he got no reaction from it. He would also bring up random factoids to impress people but had no follow up, and me being genuinely interested in some of these subjects would start up a discussion and then he'd get mad that he couldn't just pretend to have all this knowledge and he stopped doing it in front of me. At first I didn't even get it, a coworker had to explain "it's because when he goes and learns about jellyfish he's doing it to impress people, when you do it it's because you're interested in jellyfish."
@AlexLopez-hn5ru3 жыл бұрын
Big oof; keep doing your thing, homie! Hopefully that guy reevaluates his behavior.
@internetpaper13 жыл бұрын
bruh are we the same human
@thewokeagenda3 жыл бұрын
thats a good way to put it actually 😊😊
@avicennitegh13773 жыл бұрын
Thanks for that. You described and explained the last boss I had in particular but most my work experiences. I didn't get it then, too, but I do now.
@thomaschristopherwhite90433 жыл бұрын
You're not authentic and your boss is just insecure.
@janetme12673 жыл бұрын
I’m changing my self talk from - I’m old, to “I’M AUTHENTIC”. 😋
@oreas13723 жыл бұрын
😁👌🙌
@Giovanni0973 жыл бұрын
age, and time does not exist
@sarahdee3743 жыл бұрын
I have a mug that says "I'm not aging, I'm evolving" I love this one. I'm still working on authentic.
@Giovanni0973 жыл бұрын
@@sarahdee374 love yourself . and respect yourself by understanding... then you will own every word that comes out. and you will take the actions best for you.
@melaniehinds3 жыл бұрын
Yes yes yes! 👏🏻💃🏽 I’m 55 and we truth tellers GOT THIS!
@chantalreuter9 ай бұрын
OMG, it’s me you were talking about😮 The last years I had to work with narcisstic persons and so I became victim of really bad gossiping. What shocked me was that even good friends took part. I took refuge in early retirement, but they followed me into my private life and many social contacts were destroyed. But, as you said, I rest within myself. I continue to pursue my passions and live my life. The whole thing took 7 years and now I still have one battle to fight: defeating my PTSD