When Narcissists Know YOU Know & Lose Control Over You

[@FromSurvivingToThriving]

As a reminder - if my videos resonate with you and you are tired of learning about the narcissist and yet still feeling stuck - if you're ready to now turn your focus on you and how you can HEAL from this horrific abuse, come join me live on zoom in the School of Transformation. I meet live weekly with survivors from all over the world that are doing the inner work to overcome the cptsd that narcissistic abuse creates! There are 9-12 live zoom mtgs each month - most are recorded in case you are unable to attend live! I'll leave the link here for you to see if it's a good fit for you: www.micheleleenieves.com/school-of-transformation

[@DennisBonnie]

Your videos are always a good source as the loneliness of ''is it me?'' with this experience becomes less and less. Lets remember to not get excited though cause these are natural emotions and we need to get them in check.

[@DennisBonnie]

I like your mugs by the way.

[@ElijahAmes]

"The power didn't come from cha them, it came from me and being able to stand in my own body; in my own truth." Michele Le Nieves 16:00 I always say "Things don't get better, you do." To some it may sound counter intuitive. It simply means that life's storms come in many forms, and sometimes relentlessly, but if I work on myself, my strength will shine through the cracks of a broken life. I stand firm in my own body and truth, well aware of what was being done to me, waiting for a positive change and response, wanting to believe people can conquer. Perhaps it was my own conquest, to endure it so I want to believe people can change So I will believe more in my own transformation. I'm selfish, in that I invest in someone hoping to see an astounding good come from them I shouldn't expect anything, expectations alone can be abusive

[@tathamsmith]

Thank you thank you thank you

[@RickVilla-dt1iv]

Thank you

[@thinkingallowed1st]

Sticking up for myself was the worst crime to him

[@WhiteWakedNProud]

Straight up how dare you challenge their right to put you down, apologize knave 😂

[@Bala-m1q]

Yeah. I stood my ground and asked the girl to not do drugs and immediately I became the bad guy. Immediately there was blaming on me saying that I'm the cause for her drug use and there was a heavy silent treatment for days. I couldn't take it and asked her to block me and I asked for closure. I got nothing. There was no talk about closure or returning of each other's belongings out of respect. No Apology. After days and days after silent treatment I saw her already enjoying with other people. It was a shock to me that my existence didn't even matter and it was so crushing and I still think if it is my fault for saying, "don't do drugs and I don't accept it in my relationship". Tell me guys was a I wrong? Was I supposed to allow that?

[@SoldBySharone]

I love the Silent Treatment from a Narc... it's like a vacation from the drama.

[@sarahadair5890]

God seriously!! 😂❤ I was raised by one and then accidentally married one. The silent treatment is amazing!

[@BarbzSA]

That should be on a t-shirt 😆

[@voltronspeaks9857]

Put in your AirPods and ride that wave

[@milans9962]

Wish I could feel this way...I'll get there. Currently being given the silent treatment along with sporadic critical sniping. Thank you for showing its possible.

[@cicamaca7172]

No. It is awful. They give you the silent treatmant when the owe you so much. They are toxic ecen when they are not in your life. Even when you become indiferent toward them, they are disguasting only because they exist.

[@vrajeshparikh4163]

Distort all narcissistic by helping ourselves, hit the gym , train harder, work harder, excel in our career, earn money!!

[@Catinthedesert]

I am not at all motivated by my abuse. Overachieving is just staying trauma bonded. I achieve for me. I have nothing to prove.

[@Soohable]

Honestly, you are the narcissist. Hit the gym, train harder, work harder, excell in your career and earn money are patterns of dissociation. Learn to be a better person first.

[@WhoLetHuntCook]

@@Catinthedesertonly person you have to prove anything to ever is to yourself. The only approval you need is within. Keep on

[@terryhutchings7701]

They treat you so poorly because you ARE a good person!

[@yellowbird6002]

It's so frustrating 😢

[@VChrissyCloset]

Anytime I mentioned to my ex about him seeking therapy he would always say “what makes you think your perfect, your not perfect, your not better than me”. And in that moment alone I said to myself without guilt “yes I am and you hate me because of it”. I literally felt my power come over me because I didn’t fire back like he was used to seeing me do.

[@JohnJones-pe9kj]

I just read this the other day. Loving a narcissist is like trying to hug a CACTUS! 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

[@crankiemanx8423]

That's the most accurate description Ive seen in a long time

[@SookieSews]

So true

[@HeartFeltGesture]

A malicious cactus.

[@JohnJones-pe9kj]

Yes! A pernicious malicious cactus!

[@jeffreymurray4855]

😂 why should I set myself on fire to keep you warm and toasty!!!

[@WeR1bodyNChrist]

Once you get away from a narcissist, it’s like waking up from the anesthesia after a major surgery…… you feel like you are in a daze! Lightheaded and nauseous. But once it’s out of your system you will feel much much better! 🙏🏽

[@johnbaugh2437]

You said it perfectly!

[@LiekeHilster]

Trying to get out now and I feel exactly this..

[@carolmiles7474]

How do you pay bills if you have no job ,and you are alone and I cannot drive well, you lose either way ,

[@SteveWesley-w9u]

@@LiekeHilsterTotally feel ya! Stay strong 💪

[@sabrinabutler6599]

Am out of that with my user casted lowdown mom's boy that was a liar and cheater and always nasty to me around his neighbors in his yard and then he would be leaving me outside and then I would be feeling awful

[@djmandyland]

The moment I told my ex calmly "Stop... just stop, I know exactly what you're doing, I know everything. It's not going to work anymore" That was the final day he saw me. His eyes went black as they do and he unloaded the most abuse in that one instance simply because he knew he had no control anymore he pulled out all my old traumas, everything I never thought he'd do or say (the only thing I ever trusted him about was cheating) he told me he was going to bang another women that night and that I'm the ugliest B he's ever seen, not deserving of love etc. Just LOST his ish. Then finally for the first time physically harmed me. NEVER in 5 years did he touch me but lo and behold.... when you tell them you have them figured out... all bets are off to them. Scary

[@Correanne99]

Wo, like a spoiled evil ogre baby 😮😢 I've seen this 2....& go home & laugh, I hope

[@Meleke1970]

So true. I went threw 15 years of it even separated we had kids and he was this way with them. Courts didn't listen and barely any help. It got real bad for a bit. But now he knows I don't play no more we can talk but I keep the feeling he could break any minute it's been years since he's done anything

[@Meleke1970]

And we're divorced

[@beaglerescue5281]

Never tell them you know and this is why.

[@thequeenofselfcare]

Mine never hit me until I found out too. Took 11 years. Made sure not to leave a bruise so that I seem dramatic. Then did it a few more times, never leaving a bruise but destroying me mentally

[@balozhende5727]

It is important to know that theses narcissists are NOT just found in romantic relationships but also in what you thought were strong, long friendships.

[@clairesweeney4334]

In the workplace and in families too

[@balozhende5727]

@@clairesweeney4334 Yes.

[@kyki8512]

Yes yes yes! 👍 I wish there were more videos on leaving a narcissist friendship or parting ways with a narcissist family member, and also how to deal with narcissist who become fixated on you at public places like a grocery store that you go to a lot, or your public library, or your neighbor, or your job, or any public place that you have to deal with an obsessed envious narcissist! They are literally everywhere!

[@Xenophanes198]

"The calmer you are the more chaotic they feel." Valid. When I confronted my ex narc about her cheating, she didn't apologize. She didn't deny it or admit to it. She criticized me for how calm I was behaving and used it as proof that I didn't care about her.

[@erickonassis6310]

Crazy, always about them

[@dazhatz]

Classic deflection / blameshifting .. they are all the same 😔

[@DJskit24]

My ex did a similar thing, we had a blow out argument over seemingly made up issues between us that were not worth such intensity, she went downstairs and eventually came back. I expressed that she hurt my feelings and she said I didn't know you had feelings after 3 years. She cheated on me with my guitarist who is also a narcissist and they both have done terrible things in the community and I felt like my breakup was a tabloid at the grocery store for awhile but have been enjoying myself and my time putting pieces back together, just facing trust and motivation lately.

[@LadiesofGod]

Wow

[@jaclynjeanquart7999]

How did you reply? And did you end communication? I’ve experienced the “you don’t care and never did have real feelings”

[@casperinsight3524]

When you take your power back they lose theirs 💥💣 When you feel better they feel worse

[@paradiseacres9724]

Years ago, when I confided that the silent treatment was like being "amputated," and hurt me to the core, he was more than happy to do it as often as possible. My focus has now shifted from the marriage to healing myself and I see the silent treatment as the gift that keeps on giving... Perception is everything!! 🙌🏻😊💕💪🏻

[@LastingHope]

Yes 🎉

[@Creativecatalyst..]

You could get to know if your narcissist partner is cheating or having an affair with someone else by just discreetly spying on their calls, socials,and locations and "Shadowbyte7" can help with that and he's reliable

[@Creativecatalyst..]

He's On telegram and he's services is genuine and he helped my cousin also to get texts of her husband and another lady

[@TawnaTV]

The covert narc I am in a relationship with runs away and then sends texts. Now I delete without reading and then enjoy the peace and quiet ❤

[@faeriestarr]

Don't dare tell them something bothers you

[@nikkiperrier9793]

This is so encouraging, "They might get worse, but you WILL get better"

[@adastra1978]

True, there's lots of videos saying "this is how you get revenge on the narcissist", "how to make the narcissist cry/despair etc." or even worse "how to make the narcissist want you back". No - focus that energy on working on you and your healing. There's no better "revenge" on a narcissist than living your best life WITHOUT THEM IN IT!

[@balto8111]

The next toxic person is just around the corner, so stay alert.

[@sharoncravenor2226]

So true!

[@Datb2]

Terrifying

[@Joseph-s6y]

Once bitten, twice shy. I'll never trust again.

[@SamFreedom]

Stay alert to what makes you vulnerable to toxic people.

[@EmpoweredToBeMe]

Yes gut feeling. Discernment on high alert lol 😂

[@semmaville]

I live with my narcissist. I woke up this year because of Dr Ramani. My narcissist knows, I can tell. I'm on to all the new tricks that she is coming up with now that she knows. When you watch these tricks without emotion, you will be left in awe. Not at the cruelty. No. I am left in awe of her genius and brilliance. Its truly remarkable. If she could have only used her power for good...

[@jooxumja]

Dr Ramani saved my life.

[@craigellem7461]

Too right brother

[@Mattheus217]

Yes, a powerful skill, but used to destroy other peoples lives and to get them to be pawns or supply.

[@mochachaiguy]

👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽 Well put. It’s a cunning intellect that I feel is best avoided, as I have become increasingly aware of for my self… being in my second long term relationship with one.

[@MrRodQ]

The work you're doing is solid gold! Narcissists behave like a demon.

[@marcalampi5036]

They are compromised and usually have demons in them they are evil hearted

[@lindaallotey6257]

That’s what it is, by their fruits ye shall know them, they are demons, the devil representatives on earth, very handsome and beautiful in physique but horrible behaviors

[@randideelancaster9904]

More like over grown toddlers, Big example I asked my narc to hand me a sippy cup so I could wash it, witch resulted in him throwing a temper tantrum at 36 years old, he threw the cup, stomping his feet, screaming with his face turning purple because how dare I ask him to hand me a cup😂 that's when I saw it, that's when I started laughing, I turned it back on him from there on, he would do and say all these crazy things as a toddler would to say look at me, pay attention, and just like I did with our son I ignored the behavior and even be little it, aww does some one need a nap and a diaper change, oh he hated that, it escalated till he looked and acted like the town crazy, we all just laughed and laughed, I still laugh, because how could anyone take him seriously 🤣

[@monicamonica5924]

Because they are

[@keithwittman4741]

A 6 year old demon. 😂

[@NICK_1979]

My story is long and most can relate no doubt. Narcissists are truly evil. Heartless would be an understatement. I don't think a person fully heals, but you do learn to go on. If anything, you know the signs to look for and never allow another narc in your life again. For me it was a so called friend. Good luck to all on their journey to healing.

[@suelettedelange6007]

Is it normal to feel an incredible amount of rage towards that person? He stole 30 years of my life!😢

[@suel7609]

My husband stole 36 years, putting up with his immature, irrationale outbursts.

[@MarkFlanagan-h1o]

Remember, you have a God that loves you ! And God made many promises to us. In the Gospels, Jesus teaches through miracles that he is the God of TIME. And scripture tells us God will restore ALL THOSE WASTED YEARS !!!! . Don't give so much power to the narc. God makes everything new again.

[@aprilstar3572]

I mentally survived a horrible short marriage 4 years . I only had power over the abuse through knowledge that god led me to , I literally watch him play out his acts . Hiding items then returning them etc … When he remarried I was told by him that she had committed suicide , He’s passed now , I do believe if I had not cried out to god for help I would have died too .

[@edithflood631]

Yes, I experienced revelations from what some call the Heart, others Mind, or Spirit or God. It only reveals the horror bit by bit in doses of what you can bear at that time. Later revealing more. The biggest revelation came 27 years after I had moved on. Saw everything the narcissist had tried to hide. Immediately had blood tests, which thankfully were all clear. Narcs become what public health researchers call “network hubs” of venereal disease due to their promiscuity. I would have been crushed if I had received the truth all in one hit. Praise God.

[@angielaree5506]

wow , he pulled her into his abuse so sad what happened to her . Thank God you were able to get out

[@louiseconroy9140]

They leave you if they can't use you anymore. They have no shame....they simply disappear.

[@widowbyte]

My dad did thus. When we weren't making he feel good about himself he blamed me and left to go live with his mom. Abandoning me and my children in a rental we couldn't afford without his income......

[@ampilandhalloweenandbeyond8948]

@@widowbyteoh my goodness that’s horrible 😔

[@jeffnauerth5147]

My mother and brother are like this. I’m trash to them.

[@sandraschultz3104]

I realized at one point that he knew I knew and his game was up. Of course he pulled away, twisted it around, user, con artist, and then wanted to leave of course.

[@casperinsight3524]

If they cut you off in any capacity its only a matter of time when their behavior will turn you off ~ permanently. Ignore them and prioritize yourself 💙

[@gangGreenthumb]

Narc did all you said about using children. Bedtimes, let her (not mine) daughter sleep all day, up all night- meanwhile I was trying to be a parent preparing her kid for college. When narc was unable to get a reaction from me, Narc then said something cruel about my daughter... after 11 years of abuse that was the straw.. the next day I invited her to leave. Tried a couple months to patch things.. well, I tried, she did not. That's when I went no contact... 491 days ago. She tried to hoover in May, I rejected it which must have caused her major narcissistic injury.

[@amandaforsythe3729]

When they know they discard which is a blessing. They remove themselves and we couldnt ask for a better outcome from an abusive person. They disqualified themselves and we should be thankful.

[@MaxsMom-bv6hf]

Yes. I did not realize mine was passive aggressive. At the 15 year mark he said I wasn't supposed to say yes. Mean to his marriage proposal. Puzzle pieces fell together and I stopped caring. When he would try to get a reaction out of me I just sai, "Whatever".....that was when he stepped over the line into a full blown affair with the office hoe that he did not know how to get out of. I divorced him at 20 years because of our kids. It tore him up when I would say "whatever" to him. Inside I was laughing for the first time in years!

[@paulwisdom1090]

It's almost like standing up to someone who has been bullying you, once you stand up to them and put up boundaries and the bully knows your on to them they run away! Interesting eh?

[@sharoneh8929]

Yes !!! I now can see the blessing in the discarded, I experienced. It was so devastating and brutal In the moment, cause I was caught off guard. But now what freedom and Peace. That "worm" is out of my life. It was all a fake dream and now I am awoken to the truth. Thank God for keeping me and healing me🏁. Onward to continue to living my best life💯👌. Prays for all going through narcissistic abuse. I am just glad it is OVER 🎯. Peace be with you ✌🏽💓.

[@cynthialodermeier5291]

When they know you figured them out, they attack you. Just leave. It’s not worth your energy and don’t get entangled in their BS!

[@joeya289]

When narcissists know you know, they watch a bunch of KZbin channels and call themselves victims. "Inner healing" is a tell.

[@Soohable]

That's the thing! The fact is that everyone is a narcissist. Everyone wants to control their destiny by manipulating their environment including people. When they are dominated by better narcisisists than themselves, they come here calling themselves the victims. Nobody wants to be responsible and accept they have problems too.

[@moshiachhasawakened6781]

Simply learn to ignore All of their drama.

[@Shadowman...]

20:17 THEY WAIT YOU OUT ~ SCARY. This channel is awesome. It tells it like it is. Folks, the only answer is to LEAVE!!!. NO CONTACT!!!. When you DO THIS, they ( the narcissist) will cry there eyes out. They actually resort back to being those little kids that they were long ago when they truly know they lost control over you.

[@danajaye2911]

They were taught these behaviors in their formative years. Their repetitive cycles are unbreakable. They can indeed be kind - yet they are addicted to the provocation- proving we care. Constant testing- never passing the test. Never. Tragic. So many constructive qualities- but mired in the power imbalance.

[@mariciamundle4339]

It used to bother me, whenever they left, now I am so happy when he ignore me. My sorrows turn to joy😂😂😂😂

[@oldhpirs4]

My ex narcissistic wife used to call me a narcissist, at the time I didn't even know what it meant 😂😂 so when we split up I came across a video that changed my life forever, it was very hard to accept that I was laying in bed with my own enemy and I didn't even know it, as I learned more about narcissist everything started making sense it was if they were speaking about my ex in detail, I went through some time of depression because I realized everything was a lie everything was fake, but it made me a better man and it changed my life for the better! Thank you for helping others out if it wasn't for videos like these I would've never known what narcissist is

[@christinelamb1167]

@oldhpirs4 This was my experience, too, except it was my mother. I never knew anything about narcissists, but when I came across a video about it around 5 years ago, suddenly everything made sense! It described my mother to a "T", and I understood what she had done to me, and why. And I finally understood that it wasn't my fault, it wouldn't have mattered who I was, she would have treated me the same. It's sad to accept, but now that I know we never had and never will have a real relationship, I can begin to move on and heal.

[@evilutionmma666]

It doesn't make sense that life can be better when the person you love is no longer there. No chaos no drama no silence etc. I hope you have been able to move on! I didn't know about narcissisum either. These videos found me. One about how narcissists effect your sleep sprung up randomly in between videos of vola and lorna shore! Watched it I was like wow. I know all about that. I'm feeling like I've been bleed dry. I want to talk to people but not sure how to.

[@tonygarcia1497]

I'm a "covert narcissist victim survivor" , I encourage you not to waster 40 years if your life to get off the hamster wheel! My soon to be ex, excused me of being a narcissist! After years of watching Michelle and reaching out, it's made me a better man! Thank you Michelle ❤🙏

[@keithwittman4741]

My wife said to me, Out of nowhere, "you're a manipulator, a narcissist, and you haven't been the same since mom died. " I might debate things to be more efficient, but not a manipulator. Her mom died 5 years prior, and you'd think she died yesterday with how much she was still morning. I had to look up the definition of narcissist. Eye wide opened, hindsight 20/20 She hit every sign& symptom! She had a real hard time for the next 1.5 years trying to gaslight me 😆 Studying and trying to find a way to get her to therapy. No such luck.😒 She left to live with her sister,1000 miles away. Within the first week, I noticed stress and anxiety cut down over 50% !! Although 20 years together, and serving her, the lonely feeling is hard to deal with!

[@susantalebzadeh9741]

So grateful! Live in gratitude for today and your 🙏hopeful tomorrow and you will do just fine

[@trinidad111]

If you notice, it only works on the type of person that they seek out. Someone who has a healthy respect for themselves, boundaries, and not coming from a place of lack, would never put up with their behavior and manipulation. We get so caught up in what “they” did and in a way victimizing ourselves. But what about what “we” allowed. That’s what needs to be investigated. They prey on a particular type of person. I went through this and Instead of being the one that this happened, I looked at it as the one that allowed it. It’s not comfortable but to avoid falling for and allowing that type of behavior I had to look real hard at myself.

[@cd2437]

Coda and Al-anon, both a 12 step group have helped me with this. Like my SIL said you have to fix what about you made you end up with someone like that.

[@uagang3872]

Same! It was the only way I was able to heal from it and move forward! I encourage everyone to focus on the lesson. Instead of asking myself “why is this happening to me” I asked myself “what is this trying to teach me”…it helped me immensely!

[@chowell1451]

Unless it’s ur parent…

[@moredaily1684]

This reminds me of listening to my Grandiose Narcissist step-son explain why the people he intends to rob, swindle, and trick, deserve it because they can't see him coming. He thinks nice people, rich people, good people are defective and asking for it. They victimized themselves. They allowed him to steal from them. He lies because people don't really like the truth. I wonder if Narcs know they're Narcs. Not yet.

[@wendykarle3114]

Yep

[@gavingreene7133]

Run, it definitely gets worse before it gets better. It’s all by their design. No matter what they say don’t let it get to you and know you’re right. Their foolishness will only be more obvious.

[@sararichardson737]

I grew to love the silent treatment once I knew what the jig was. it would go on for days, weeks. Bliss because having conversation with him descended to infantile hell.

[@kufwar]

19 years of that cycle has caused permanent damage. I do feel strong and confident (always subtle doubts). I do know that i am successful and i have great friends and family. But that cycle that she created has ensured that i will most likely never ever have a relationship again. i have told many people that the peace that i have now is better than anything, and i can see that they dont understand. its just so comforting. I am grateful for it.

[@silviapinheiro4472]

I lived with a covert narcissistic for 32 years. I lived this and I am trying to heal. Unfortunatelly I have anxiety, traumas , trust issues and everytime I feel better, he tries to tease me from distance. I can not cut him completly because we have a daughter. However he lost the control over me. I transformed myself and I will never come back to him . Orher 2 narcissistic tried to get near me, but I recognized the patterns and do not allow them enter my life.

[@sueknight5525]

40 years of marriage I finally found out what narcs do to hurt you I’m a strong person because I have a narcissistic mother And I’m her scapegoat child I have had a very sad and lonely relationship With life I hope everyone in this kind of life dosnt wait to literally die before you get help And get support to stop supplying a very evil narcissist hurting you Good luck And I’m glad for all this free help Thanks

[@sueknight5525]

I did die from Covid and 2 days later my spouse of 40 years 45 years together He became abusive and mean that caused me to search for answers I don’t expect to heal over night and I’m trying to have patience It is so hard and painful I can’t wait to be myself again

[@Cutiejuliya]

How r u supposed to get help?

[@ΚωνσταντίναΚλιτσικα]

I wanna say just 1 thing,,,,light fights dark,,,love fights hate and...AUTHENTICITY FIGHTS FAKE!!! BE YOU❤

[@lancemontoya2096]

That was 3 things you said.😅

[@kieranmarken3340]

And water fights fire 👍

[@ΚωνσταντίναΚλιτσικα]

1 thing,2 things,3.....dont be so logical about just FEEL😂

[@lancemontoya2096]

@@ΚωνσταντίναΚλιτσικα Yea Dude, I hear you Mann. . . I feel you Like When I have to take a dump an its late at night an go sit on the toilet with the lights off an when I'm done, I realize how lost I am an now I'm gonna have to feel my way out. Yea something like that.

[@ΚωνσταντίναΚλιτσικα]

@@lancemontoya2096 1 step at the time and u know at the end of the day u ll be grown and stronger than ever,,,u know it!! I love u

[@jessieportilo7595]

Watching your videos has been so healing. I grew up with a mother who always wanted me to be discontent & insecure, everyday she would call me nasty, cruel, miserable, unlikable, unpleasant & I became everything I thought she didn't want me to be because I wrongly assumed this made me victorious of my true self. I isolated myself & became extremely cynical, insecure, volatile, emotional, angry and discontent because I thought this was my identity only to realize I actually became exactly what she wanted & I was a projection of what SHE thought I was. The real me is kind, generous, secure, loving (with a healthy amount of negative emotions & boundaries) My mother thinks these traits are weak & she rejected all of it in herself & me. Everything she hates about herself, all of her insecurity is not my responsibility. I am not my mother. If she hates herself or a part of her personality, I don't have to hate those traits in myself. I am allowed to take back these parts of my identity she tried to make me feel ashamed of.

[@fairygurl9269]

Kindness is Not Weakness 💞

[@stephanie6851]

This really resonates with me, I could have written this myself

[@reginapolo3357]

I am so sorry you had to go thru that! It is such a hard pill to swallow when it comes from the one that is supposed to protect you. Don't lose sight of all the good people out there, seek them and heal with them.

[@lilfairycupcake]

sounds like real 1st class sweetheart. i dont care who the narc is, if they are in your life they are still controlling, crippling you. anyone who shows me negative/hateful traits, narcs, and non narcs alike gets their ticket immediately, permanently canceled.

[@ankurdave7784]

We have a right to walk away and be who we are “authentically.” We’re never what others say we are, including our own parents. I’m also a parent and while being a parent can be challenging at times, it doesn’t give any parent a right to belittle and scapegoat their own children. It makes me sick to a point of blood pressure pills how many parents get away with this drivel.

[@sambrown8359]

Ex projected on me all the time. It’s one of their favorite tools.

[@laura-2]

Narcissists move VERY fast in relationships. It's not uncommon to hear, “I love you", and/or be bombarded with love songs/texts/memes a few weeks after meeting them. By rushing into sex/intimacy, they fast-forward the relationship. They get their targets to fall for them before he/she can realize something is amiss. I believe this is also the reason they tend to be VERY good lovers. Sex is usually the “hook” in toxic relationships. Narcissists lack genuine personalities. So, they mirror their targets. If you find you have “so much in common" with a new person, your likes are their likes, and your dislikes are coincidentally their dislikes as well, raise your antennas! They may be mirroring you. This is the “soulmates" hook… You'll also notice that they'll spend more time telling you who they are, verses showing you. As time goes on, you'll notice the words they used to describe themselves do not fit their personality - at all. But, they will fit YOURS!!! Passive-aggressive behavior and irrational/unexplained anger, are also major red flags. Pay attention to how a person treats you the first time you say, “No”, and/or when things don't go their way… If they give you the silent treatment, grow cold, and/or pull away, do not overlook it! Most importantly, if someone pulls away, or goes silent, after you set a boundary - DO NOT pursue them! This is how they groom you to be the chaser in the relationship. It's emotional abuse/manipulation! Pay close attention to people who portray themselves as victims. NOTHING is EVER their fault! EVERYONE, including the family pet, has done them wrong… ALL of their ex's are “crazy” and mistreated them… They’re great, but no one appreciates said greatness… Simply put, it's bullshit! No one should have a laundry list of bad experiences. If they do, RUN, because they're the common denominator! Narcissists tend to have a history of failed/short-term relationships. Believe it or not, it's hard for Narcissists to find people to deal with them long term due to their instability and poor behavior… Superficial relationships/friendships. I've noticed they don't have anyone they're genuinely close to. This is due to their inability to bond and form true attachments to people. Their relationships are shallow and based on surface-level bs. They'll refer to someone as their bestfriend, but you’ll notice they barely speak. Or, that the person is never really around. Or, only shows up when it's time to party, etc. They may also speak down on/poorly of said “bestfriend” behind their back. Narcissists tend to be condescending, two-faced and downright mean! Based on my experience, they cannot talk about deep subjects (i.e. fears/emotions). Or, how a situation truly made them feel. Or, what their childhood was like in detail… They don't want to go there. I suspect, it's because they can't. They don't know themselves well enough. They can't connect. They also live in a world of dishonesty. They're very dishonest with themselves about who they truly are. A poor relationship with their Mother/primary caregiver. Underlying issues between Narcissists and their Mother's (abuse, neglect, don’t get along, etc.), seems to be common. People that I've known who've displayed strong Narcissistic tendencies, ALL had bad relationships with their Mothers! I think it's worth mentioning, their Mother's also displayed strong Narcissistic traits… I'm fully aware and understand that there are healthy adults who have toxic Mother's. However, if you're spotting several red flags in an individual, including this one, pay closer attention! They're selfish! Some are selfish from the very beginning. Some start out generous and slowly begin withholding. Some act helpless and needy. They manipulate people into doing things for them, but never give back. It's not only financial and material selfishness. They're selfish emotionally, affectionately, conversationally. sexually and with their attention. They withhold validation and support. EVERYTHING has to be about them, their needs, their wants and everything happens on their terms. Anger, rage, silent treatments and disappearing acts are common - when they don't get their way. Pathological lying. Narcissists are professional liars. It's their second nature. If you call them out, they'll have no issue staring deeply into your eyes as they tell another lie! You'll hardly ever get the truth. Even with unchallengeable proof of the truth, they'll hold on to the lie. It's actually quite fascinating to see them in action - once you know what you’re dealing with. They also have the uncanny ability to provoke doubt in their victims (even when you KNOW the truth), because their lies are so convincing! Beware of people who do not seek conflict resolution. Many Narcissists enjoy drama/chaos! Remember, these are high-conflict personalities. Many of them NEED to argue and fight! Peace to a narcissist, is what chaos is to non-disordered people - unsettling. This is why they repeat behaviors that trigger a negative response. They need tension, anger and high/out of control emotions. They're known for calling people crazy, drama queens, insecure, etc., but never admit what they did to provoke those responses. And, when you attempt to discuss/resolve something, THEY said/did, they’ll gaslight, stonewall and/or flip it back on to you. They're extremely disrespectful, rude and lack self-awareness. They have an issue with being called out on their behavior and project/deflect to avoid accountability. “Normal” people want to get along, for the most part. So, they seek fair compromises when conflict arises. Narcissists want to “win” and conflict IS their niche. This is how many Narcissists get their way - they wear people down via conflict. Immaturity. It’s one thing to be playful and lighthearted (in appropriate settings), as an adult. It’s something completely different to be immature. Narcissists suffer from arrested development. They do not know how to respond to situations/people/stress/life appropriately. They have a child-like mindset. They truly believe everything is about them and have no concept of the needs of others. By nature, children are takers. They have no concept of reciprocation. They believe their Parents (and everyone else), exists to meet their needs. When their needs aren’t met, or they don’t get what they want, they become mean and throw tantrums. Narcissists cannot think outside of themselves and their wants/needs - like children. They’re completely unaware that people are individuals with their own agency, needs, wants, opinions... They truly believe people exist to serve them. They believe their job is to receive. They’re children trapped in adult bodies, who cannot consider anything/anyone other than themselves! Above everything I've stated, trust your intuition! Narcissists give off an uneasy vibe. They try very hard to appear cool, calm and collected - on the surface. But, you can feel their energy. It's very off-putting. They also tend to have more noticeable negative qualities, than most people. But, you have to stop justifying and making excuses, in order to see things clearly. Accept people for who they are and not who you want them to be. Observe, listen and trust yourself. No one should be allowed to grant themselves a position in your life. Vet people and YOU decide if they'll be a liability, or an asset, to you. Lastly, take cues from your body. If you ever feel your mood changing, feel anxious or feel your stomach knot up, in the company of someone, don't dismiss it! It could be a sign that you're in bad company!!! Additionally, If you need to find out about a cheating narcissist; send a request to: MetaspyHub@gmail. com

[@Angrymobs62]

You seriously wrote that much?

[@dianedoud5406]

This is very helpful, i will read it over and over.

[@Angrymobs62]

I have not heard experts say narcissists are good lovers at all. How could they be if you’re an object and they’re not a soul?

[@dianedoud5406]

@@Angrymobs62 Mine was horrible.

[@roberth4395]

@@Angrymobs62about half the things she wrote is true, the rest could be true to literally anyone including non narcissist people.

[@wolfsden]

I just found out, beginning a little over two weeks ago, that my Wife of six-and-a-half years is a Christian Covert Narcissist. I am going to have to begin de-toxing ASAP, as soon as we're out of here, my Mother (whom I have responsibility of due to her stroke last November) and I. Since I am also a Combat Vet that has been dealing with Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder and Severe Depressive Disorder, that puts me at an even higher risk of having something physiologically bad happen to me. I think it's time to send a message to the VA to have someone I can counsel with. Thank you for this video... I've been studying for a little over two weeks and I've come to get the PhD concerning NPD, but until this video I did not understand the utter damage that is taking place inside me and it needs to stop before bad things begin to happen. I'm tough, but I'm really beginning to feel it.

[@domeatown]

When I started feeling good and quietly empowered I almost got concerned because I was so happy I worried I was manic or something. But, no. Its just that was wasnt constantly bleeding anymore.

[@D8099.]

Now I’m obsessed with your videos. When you said “All these videos on revenge” and then you said the best revenge is when they loose the emotional battle. I love that. It’s so clean and cut free. You just snip them off like a wart. lol

[@brightpage1020]

They wear away your self reliance, trust, and confidence in your own senses.

[@malibu90265]

Through education on narcissism I came to understand that the behaviors of narcissists are shockingly the same. As a result, I was able to change how their behavior affected me, which caused changes in my response. My healing empowered me to go no-contact and live a life free of narcissism.

[@arborwin]

"Afraid of the monologue that would never end" THIS. This is EXACTLY what I was always feeling.

[@justinereynolds4261]

Omg the monologue!! Communicating with them is IMPOSSIBLE !! But I now know they design it that way .

[@lukeburny2796]

Narcissism is someone who changes who they are to get what they want its always 50\50 in a relationship. Never try to change anyone that's "abuse" making them feel they are not good enough you project they are broken which hurts

[@HannelieMchau]

Watching this video. It made me see my whole 27 years of married is a FARCE😢

[@jenniferschultz4301]

Prayers to you for continued discovery and for learning tools and techniques for your journey of healing.🙏🙏There are many free videos and workshops out there that are exactly for this purpose. That's how I've been able to heal and deal. It's not your fault you didn't know-I had the same situation after several years together before I realized all his crazy shit was because he is a narcissist. Then, EVERYTHING made perfect sense. So, instead of "accepting" a narrative of having wasted all those years, I've decided to view it as God's way of making me strong and enduring and smart as hell, because I now know that since I was able to deal with the shit that I dealt with, I KNOW there's absolutely NOTHING I'll come across now in life that I won't be able to handle. So, even though there was a lot of emotional and mental pain, confusion, anger, and tears, I still feel like I've come out on top- and I hope you will soon feel that way, too. Good luck and God bless.🙏🙏❤❤

[@desertcrab6331]

For me, the longevity of the back and forth is directly related to years of gaslighting causing doubt. When they change and start being nice, it only deepens the doubt and it ALWAYS comes back to hit even harder.

[@firesidethewater]

When you learn enough you can start to get to the point of indifference to their reactions. You can start to internally think "That's interesting. Thank you for showing me who you are." And you can start pouring your energy into yourself.

[@Katrn30]

You are so right…only someone who has lived through narcissistic abuse can understand what we went through…anyone else is just adding to our abuse by blaming us, and gaslighting us.

[@Shadowman...]

12:10 So true, They seem to have an innate ability to sense when you have truly dropped your guard. In George Simons Book Character Disturbance ~he says the main reason predators are so successful in manipulating others is not so much in there effective use of tactics, but rather in the RELUCTANCE of normal balanced people to make hash judgments about others and trust their gut instincts about the REAL person they are dealing with.

[@lilfairycupcake]

the person you are dealing with is the farthest thing from real as you can get. their entire being/existence is based on fake.

[@MARANATHA-AMEN]

Because normal people operate life with a varying degree of EMPATHY. Narcissists get "supply" form the empathy of others. Their antennae is always on alert.

[@janicemarsh1669]

Soooo true.

[@lisbethbird8268]

He's brilliant. Doc Simon acknowledges that abusive behaviors are a choice.

[@aqua19542010]

Thank you so much ... I really get what you are saying and that's a first... I can understand you better than many others I have listened to... I want to start listening to daily to heal from this insanity... Thank you again! ❤ Mary Burns😊

[@bb13458]

They force you to discard them since they can not detach. Just the presence of you is too painful.

[@Trueblue222]

Married to a covert narcissist for fourteen years and found myself in a bemused and bewildered state trying to figure out my wife’s behaviour. Now I’m not a great believer in fate but I look at my YT feed one day and there is a video about NPD. Curious I open the video and watch with my jaw dropping on the floor as I learn about all the traits that I have been seeing exhibited by my wife over a long period of time. I watch a few more and suddenly the scales have dropped from my eyes. About an hour later my wife arrives home and coldly announces that she wants to end the marriage and separate. It was a shock to me and it is not pleasant as I go through the experience of being discarded, but I’m better prepared as a result of watching the videos. They continue to be a lifeline to me. Fate or something intervened.

[@janicedenisar3008]

I recommend wasting no more of your time, or mind on narc relationship(s). Attend recovery training, & start living your Best Life!

[@viewerwatching5712]

It's not Fate we call him God.

[@alexsalinas32381]

I believe this type of occurrence has happened to alot of us. It's comforting.

[@justinobrien3012]

Just Shine ☀

[@stefaniebee8560]

Oh my gosh I wish I could talk to you. No one gets it unless they have been through it

[@samanthap1389]

Yes - being ignored, & treated as if I didn't exist. He did not say the words, "I love you" for over a decade. He discarded me as soon as I discovered his deep, very dark secret of a 50-year porn addiction, and the degradation, invalidation & bullying that goes hand-in-hand with it.

[@jonshute8331]

I started learning about narcissistic abuse about two years ago after 33 years of marriage. Living constantly with a thousand razor blade cuts, which get deeper and deeper and I went more and more numb. At least I know other people have lived like this and through this. Thank you for your videos.

[@robynmarler1951]

🎆🌄🌱🌿🌳🕊

[@boxelder9167]

Well said. Numb was the only place that was left to go.

[@beaglerescue5281]

It’s a huuuuuuge community.

[@beelarehman5992]

I call my brother death by a thousand cuts.

[@loekiekanters4295]

Never accept any razor blade cut, those are the remarks some people make with the intention to get under your skin. Those people are not your friends.

[@craigy691]

I’ve been away from my narc wife for 4 weeks and the love fog has lifted and she blamed me for everything it was me that was the problem in her life she reflected everything back to me when it was her that was the one doing it !!!! Im never going back thank you for this video

[@fitlife1205]

This is the worst experience I ever had with another human

[@x-2954]

The only way to take control from a narcissist is to get yourself from their domain first. You wont be able to figure out anything until and unless you are out of the hellish world. I will tell you one of my favourite stories. Once a King was too disturbed by everything that was happening around him. He felt as if no one was loyal to him and he was always afraid of his kingdom being attacked by perpetrators. He lost his sleep and his life had become hell. So he thought of taking a brief sojourn in the countryside. He passed through lush green fields and picturesque landscapes. The silent breeze that brushed through his hair filled his heart with joy. That is when he saw a farmer who was putting fence around his farmland. But his farmland had weeds all over and they hardly had any crops. This intrigued the King. He asked the farmer as to why was he putting a fence around the farm when the farm itself was covered with weeds. To this the farmer said that the farm was his own so he could get rid of the weeds whenever he liked. But he cant stop the stray dogs from running over his fields and destroying them. That is why he was putting the fence. To stop the stray dogs from venturing into the field. Once he was very assured about the security of his fields he can work on clearing the weeds and planting crops. On hearing this the King somewhat got the answer which he had been searching for. The human mind is also like the field. You cant control assholes from fiddling with your mind or saying bullshit. But you can definitely put a fence ( figuratively) so that these assholes cant influence you. And until and unless you dont put a fence you can never work on yourself. Once you have distanced yourself from toxic people then you can work on the healing process. Same is the case with narcs. Narcs are these stray dogs who suck your energy emotionally. They play mind games for fun because their mind wants melodrama. They hurt the very people who love them. So total isolation from these narcs is absolutely essential for the well being of your Mind. Once you are out of their mind games you can take decisions rationally. Narcs try to drain you emotionally. So everytime you respond to their low vibrations you tend to come to their level. But when you react confidently without panicking and without responding to their negative vibrations that is when you Win. When someone realises that you arent being influenced or being manipulated by their actions they will get tired of it. And after cutting them off completely from your lives you should work on your healing process. Work on clearing your mental clutter and keep yourself preoccupied. Read books and most importantly try to find your Purpose in life. When you find your Purpose you will be able to bear any pain in this World. Most importantly help others in need. When you find someone else who is stuck with a narc help them to get out of that. I feel this is the way to take control from a narcissist. P.S: I hardly find people around me who know about emotional abuse. But I think everyone should read and know about it. In today’s mean world you will find a lot of people who try to influence you or demoralise you using the sweetest of words. Its about identifying these covert manipulators and distancing yourself from them. I have immense respect for people who have survived narcissistic partners. They happen to be the most strongheaded and emotionally stable people you can come across. I learn a lot of things from them. Truly the broken will always be the most beautiful. What ever you do, don’t attempt to tail your spouse in the hopes of catching him or her cheating. Get a professional to do it for you Metaspyhub@gmail. com Ethical remote App - particularly if you need this evidence to file for divorce and damages.

[@DTHRILLS.DANIEL.THRILLRIDETV]

True true. Glad I found this

[@mikeseitz2792]

Excellent Michelle. I got to the point where I looked forward to the silent treatment, it meant I had peace and quiet for a while. Thank You

[@rachelalexis3392]

She hasn’t said much since May 15 and a part of me loves it that way ! I spoke up so now silent treatment to make me feel guilty but oh baby i feel great. so proud of myself.

[@chaniawillow]

Me too. Lol....

[@craigellem7461]

Mate that is gold Spot on

[@cassiebennet4262]

I envy people who get only the silent treatment. When I get the silent treatment it's inevitable followed by rage. It's terrifying waiting for the other shoe to drop.

[@craigellem7461]

@@cassiebennet4262 Too right

[@crystalmanuel4863]

I’m almost in tears listening to this. You are literally explaining my situation. I’m almost without words. You will never know how much you have helped me. It’s as if I can see things clearly now.

[@lunavexa_]

You’re such a beautiful person inside out. No wonder they hated you 😆 it’s very impressive that you kept your heart after all of this

[@cynthiarunge4858]

For years they have been planting things in others head

[@andiplus7960]

Good video, almost got suck back by my parents, on them doing something good towards me, to pretend they've "changed"...

[@fairygurl9269]

They Will Appologize To Other Fam Members and Have them Flying🐒 Guilt Trip You 😢 It Hurts to Take that Gut Punch. Here's Wishing You Safer Tommorrows

[@ladennayoung2939]

​@fairygurl9269 If that is going on, you may have to stop engaging with those individuals as well. You have to choose to do what is best for you with no explanations and choose not to apologize for it.

[@fairygurl9269]

@@ladennayoung2939 *Awareness Much Respect 🙏

[@sailmaine207]

I am almost speechless listening to this … I canNOT stress enough the importance of your statement about shifting your focus from what YOU think you did that was wrong , to realizing how wrong their behavior is . For me , that shift has been instrumental in healing from a very long term Narcissistic relationship that was incredibly toxic. Your phrasing has been so validating for me and I hope the same for others.

[@MissAmazings]

Im autistic (Elon Musk type) and extremely logic based. I also have significant history and focused interest in psychology. I am literally my crazy narc husband's worst nightmare. I watch the lying and gaslighting like Netflix 🍿😂 NONE of the cliche narc tactics work on me bc my brain is "broken" LoL it is infuriating to him. I just watch the fits until hes exhausted himself like a toddler and then stand over him going "dude you're crazy- you need help" He hates me with every fiver of his being and it has forced him to get very creative with his abuse. But Im also smarter than he is, so he really has to work hard and spend a lot of time and money ATTEMPTING to hurt me. It hecame a battle of endurance, and since he was the one doing all the work these past 13 years- he's finally given up. And Im still here like 👀🍿 "you done now?" They're disgustingly sick evil people that you can not let in no matter what. Its the only way you can survive.

[@paulinecamillo7045]

30 years and still but now I have 3 American Bullies that keep me company and I actually enjoy their company. I talk to them like they are listening and wanting to communicate.

[@wtcmedic911]

Know the feeling so well. The hamster wheel. Spent 10 years confused. Was ridiculous I didn’t realize it was mostly her.

[@lilfairycupcake]

8 yrs here. off, and on relationship. had no problem kicking her to the curb for acting a ass. my issue was i would take her back because i loved her. well her last act of stupidity was the last time. 0 contact.

[@craigy691]

Just going through mine we where together 12 years married 6 and the past year has been really tough she has played the same card 3 times over the past year ( every 4 month) she would say I’m not happy i want us to separate and we would talk through it and it would cause me extreme anxiety for weeks and I think she got off on it she done this 3 times and the final time I just said enough is enough I got my stuff and moved out while calling her a narcissist I said your mask has slipped she has since turned into a monster

[@wtcmedic911]

@@lilfairycupcake after she would walk away how long before she would try contact. Not heard from mine in a nice way 1.5 years.

[@lilfairycupcake]

@@wtcmedic911 it varied. Mostly due to whoever she was living with got sick of her bs, and she needed someplace to to live. Swear to Jesus I just dumped one of her replacements, it wasn't 15 min and she's back in my driveway again by total coincidence. I miss the good parts of her, very good looking, we had a lot of fun together, but when the crazy reared it's ugly head it made her equally ugly. The one thing that I will never understand was how self destructive she was. Amazing.

[@rvh77]

Lol, 'narc 101"😂 I'm working on my degree, MIchele. You've been a big part of it, unbeknownst to you. Every single one of these phases is spot on. Lots of wisdom here.

[@thelovely961]

the good thing that came from this though, was that working on me and healing me helped me to grow and no longer feel stuck and stagnant in life

[@Idontwantcookies]

Your eyes are full of emptahy. i can see the kindness in your eyes :) Thank you

[@monafee9606]

That’s Exactly how theses 👺s act 💯⚔️💯yes it’s better to treat them like you don’t care about them anymore ⚖️🤷🏽‍♀️try to stay away from them

[@godisgomes]

When they know you know...Just run for your dear life, kicking and screaming! 😱

[@greyman1104]

You're a good woman.

[@Shadowman...]

My mother does The Silent Treatment with me all the time ~ I visit and in no time she's glued to her tablet or the television. No attempt to have a meaningful conversation. She will actually not respond if its about me, so I tested her one day and started asking about her TV show ~ and BOOM! She lit right up and started talking like crazy. A part of me understands that they are damaged victims from there toxic past / But a part of me wants to tell them off. But like Michele says, Now I can just look at it for what it is, I don't let the ignoring lower my self worth anymore.

[@joseenoel8093]

Mom did the same with me, she was so smiley watching "Modern family" while I visited, I live 2 provinces away, I barely remember her ever lighting up so much, really seemed like she was doing it on purpose to peg/drill in how boring I am compared to pretty much anything, now it's her 85th and I won't bother boring the inmate in her nursing home, batteries in her remote dead for all I care, imagine actually sabotaging your own children, lying and pegging each against the other, truly demonic!

[@XOChristianaNicole]

My mother does the exact same thing. And she has been my only consistent human “contact,” for the past decade, while under her “care,” while bedridden/housebound. She will only excitedly talk to me if it’s gossiping or about shopping and beauty (I’m even a former hairstylist and couldn’t care less about talking about those things, with her. I was obese, due to undiagnosed adrenal issues, growing up - before plus-size clothing was as prominent as it was.. Only thing we ever did together was shop - and I was always so miserable, because most places didn’t have clothing that fit me; while she was able to shop anywhere. I will admit, though, she did put in effort to go to places that had clothing to fit me, however). My mother will hardly even respond to me, if she is on her phone. I went to my very first heavy metal show the other night, in a decade (I am autistically obsessed with heavy metal music) - and had such a great time. She asked if I had a good time, via text - as a hoovering method. Though, when I saw her next - she couldn’t have cared less about hearing anything about it. Yet, if I start up a conversation with someone, about heavy metal music, and she is around.. She ALWAYS jumps in with how her “favorite” band is Killswitch Engage, and about the one year I bought concert tickets, for “her” birthday. 1). KsE is MY favorite heavy metal band - and was my gateway into heavy metal music, period. She knows who this band is, because I had an autistic obsession, and played their concert DVD until I almost wore it out, while we lived together. 2). Hers and my birthdays are five days apart. I bought US concert tickets, for US to go, for OUR birthdays - because I knew she enjoyed the band and going with me, to a degree (I mean, the fellas are super goofy and charismatic - they are incredibly likable dudes, as a band; so, I can’t blame her for becoming engaged. No pun intended, lol). She knows of no other metal bands, so, she says the same thing EVERY DAMNED TIME. Hell, the other day, I picked her up, to go to the Farmer’s Market. She was wearing the same dress, as me.. The same shoes (in all fairness, she told me where to buy the shoes) - and her hair was curled, similar to the way I normally (and naturally) wear mine. Ever since I got super stoked on a leopard print guitar strap, that looked beautiful on my new guitar - which, leopard print has been one of the only prints I’ll wear, for over fifteen years.. She started buying and wearing leopard print. She’s 62. Narcissists will work to destroy you, in one way or another.. Either by doing everything they can, to contribute to your downfall.. Or try and, actually, become you.

[@kimgordon3695]

@@joseenoel8093 💜🙏🙏🙏

[@kimgordon3695]

@@joseenoel8093 I'll keep you in my prayers 🙏

[@Shadowman...]

@@joseenoel8093 I think they are subconsciously acting out all the treatments they received from there twisted childhoods. It's as if your mother ( like mine also ) in there behavior is saying " See, I'm ignoring you and trying to show you that this TV show is more important than you so that you feel worthless just like i had to with my mother long ago" Thankfully we have this knowledge of them today thanks to channels like this. I know what it like. I wrote a screenplay a few years ago ~my mother totally ignored everything to do with it. Take care...

[@jmensah8144]

Thanks for this informative video!👍🏾 I have found that in my life, when a narcissist knows you are onto them, they will find a way to "discard" you VERY QUICKLY. It might be a sudden sabotage, relocation, break-up or job change etc. So one has to be prepared that the narcissist will be leaving their life soon 😉

[@beaglerescue5281]

Be wise and plan ahead for the ultimate smear campaign and discard.

[@rosewhitfield-hill3693]

Mines hit me with all three! Job change, relocation and sabotage

[@kieranmarken3340]

My experience was, she left me and then acted like I kicked her out. It was the weirdest thing.

[@LION-on4gd]

​​@@kieranmarken3340Same here but a man..they switch and twist everything!

[@starr1592]

It’s much better if the victim does the leaving first. It’s the beginning of taking control of your life. You did it not them! It is really really hard to do but it instantly changes thier power over you and gives you back a vital part they took from you.

[@Flaminhotmo247]

💚💚💚 thank you!!

[@Paul-fn9lu]

"Healthy relationships can be fixed with teamwork. Abusive relationships must be fixed by the abuser." I get so tired of hearing, "You guys just need to work it out." Michele... you are describing my 40-year marriage. I went gray Rock 5 years ago. We still share the same house, but she has no power over me. Your videos have helped me immensely. I've gone on long enough here, but I will say to anyone reading this... Take care of yourself. Learn and grow. Broken hearts heal, but scars remain. You will get better when you take your power back with quiet dignity. Love to all who are dealing with abuse. ❤❤❤

[@mochachaiguy]

Similar situation after 20 years. Still cohabiting out of mutual economic necessity, but it’s now causing difficulties with my kids and grandchildren. Working hard on my financial independence now. I hope you’re in a good place.

[@Paul-fn9lu]

I hope you're doing well. I don't know what your beliefs are, but I will pray for you and your family. Including your wife. My situation is changing because I've been diagnosed with leukemia. 6 years ago, I started laying down boundaries and refused to argue with her. And now, the cancer diagnosis has rocked her world. And she's treating me better. I hope you don't go through a health crisis and your life improves. God bless.

[@PostFamilyOfOrigin]

9:14 "A lot of people just want to do grey-rock. But that's not what we want to do! You're just boiling inside." AGREED!! I used to beat myself up for not perfectly doing "must grey-rock it at all times!" mechanisms. I appreciate this point GOING AGAINST THE GRAIN of usual anti-NPD advice. Those on the other side of the fence of those narcopaths need to not feel like we have to be perfectionists against their war on us (and themselves ironically)

[@jumemowery1050]

Michelle, *I LOVE YOUR EAR RINGS!!*

[@CindyKratz]

She tried to project it on to me, caused me to look up the term, and boom

[@Shadowman...]

I always turn it around on them by telling them that their actions will result in them having negative karma and they will pay for it in the next life ~ You should see the look I get when they actually start to worry that they may be messing with Spiritual Stuff.

[@joseenoel8093]

Told my husband he'd better sew some pockets on his thighs he's gonna have to grease some pockets where he's going, I let him redeem himself though by having him for everything! 😊

[@lilfairycupcake]

i turned it around by kicking them out the door. thats always a attention geter.

[@MielaMaze]

❤❤❤👌

[@beverlyorlando8040]

Yes, he always worked against me whether he believed I was right or wrong

[@chidochemoyom763]

This video is so accurate it makes my stomach hurt to watch it because this is the greatest, most recent, and final lesson I’ve learned in my journey to protect and remove myself from toxic abusive relationships. I’m free now ❤.

[@Dragonfly.Chicca]

I’m not suffering anymore with the silent treatment it’s almost nice, a break in chaos, no drama. I understand what he is doing so it makes it easy for me. I then have my alone time. I can color, work on my jewelry, read. I have started doing something for myself and he doesn’t like it. He hates that I’ve picked up the Bible. He is against that I do it anyways and I need God in my life he is my Heavenly Father and will back me up. Life is grand and worth living no matter what he does to me. Revenge. No Michele No revenge would be worth it. God will handle them. I wish he would discard me already. Will it hurt oh yes but it would be for the best and start living my life to be enjoyed. I love your videos Michele thank you❤

[@beverlytaylor1745]

Every time I watch your videos I am actually voicing "Yes...that's right...that too..." You have amazing insight that you pay forward. I can't thank you enough.

[@harryhoudini5491]

Same😂😂😂 I’m currently going through this just now and it’s absolutely awful but these videos help a lot 👍🏻

[@lynshively5980]

I will tell you this last weekend the gaslighting was so hard that it threw me into actual shock ! Had to take a shot of congiac to keep from passing out. I ended up questioning if I was in a coma and that my life is a delusion. Wow, am right now trying to pull out of it. All I can say is wow. Ty for this and the last video is kinda helping. Numb in every aspect at this moment.

[@michigan1085]

This was excellent and so healing. You nailed what I went through, thank you. Here’s to all of us who’ve dealt with a narc… here’s to us healing 🥂

[@robynmarler1951]

🍻

[@ClusterB-Magnet]

🍻

[@Butterflyyyy9]

Cheers 🥂

[@craigburns227]

My wife will do what ever she can to set me up

[@theconcreteshamans]

We're currently healing through Shadow Work

[@wendymoon7251]

I have experienced every aspect of NPD abuse. I actually feel like I'm going to recover. I recognize all of it. I have several in my life. Lots of triangulation and flying monkeys. It's despicable. They know how I feel. And I have been pushed to the point that I choose to go no contact. Not even in my future lives. In my opinion, there is no place for Narcissists on this Planet.😢

[@uriellevelupriley684]

WOW this is so insightful. I had to really learn to completely take my time and power back.. Thank you so much for this video. I remember being so confused at why they weren't happy weekly.

[@michaelturner8420]

Narcissists chase a dream that will never be fulfilled, or as someone said,you could buy them the earth,and they'd also want them moon and stars.

[@lustertone8587]

My life right now is complete hell. As I continue to work more and more on myself after discovering that I have CPTSD I'm finding myself in the middle of a very intense silent treatment and I am an emotional wreck. I found a letter on the computer that is saying that she wants me out because she can't handle me any more. She's employing the flying monkeys and getting the smear campaign going full force... it's just so messed up. This video really helps me gain a perspective on where I need to focus my personal work to not provide the supply that is being prodded for.

[@merussell57]

I hate this! I’m there too, in physical pain right now. If it were not for the Lord ….