What I wanted was an illusion but I needed to see it for myself

[@Thetikslave]

It's so paradoxical, honoring your self while at the same time realizing there is no self ¯⁠\⁠_⁠(⁠⊙⁠_⁠ʖ⁠⊙⁠)⁠_⁠/⁠¯

[@deb4610]

When I realized that anything I wanted always turned into what I didn’t want, the wanting was no longer. ❤

[@trinidad111]

I have never known how to answer that question whenever someone asked me. I’ve been asked this and when I would say idk, it was always taken as there’s something wrong for me not to know. I would answer sometimes with peace. I’ve always wanted to just be. To be content with now. That’s all Ive ever truly wanted, and this world tells you that’s not enough.

[@ItApproaches]

When you become enlightened, there is no desire anymore, you just don't want. You lack the ability to want. This is because want comes from ego, and the ego is gone. Well, the whole ego is gone. There is still fragments of that old ego floating around, as ego is the ultimate stubborn thing. Always trying to rebuild itself, always trying to recreate a new "self" or "you". The only things you might still "want" are very small basic things. Such as someone offers you a beverage and you say oh that sounds nice thanks. Maybe you see a movie trailer and go I'll see that. But I know what you mean when you say people think something is wrong with you lol. They will never understand. Just like how a person who was never an astronaut will never understand what it's like to be one, in space, floating around. Any who have experienced the experience, will understand it.

[@Fkpatriarchy]

Thanks!

[@suzanne-chang]

Thanks so much Rebecca ♡ Your generous contribution is really appreciated :D

[@gilbertlujan1220]

Even though you think you are alone ! You really are not alone !👍

[@louislovereality]

Thank you Suzanne. so appreciate your honesty explaining these layers and how to allow them to surface, that life is lived in company, that balance comes as a result. very comforting when in the middle of this kind of thing to see you calmly describing your process and, as someone commented we are lucky to be alive to view this.

[@yabits]

A line came back to me from a 60s song that I haven't heard in years: "My words trickle down from a wound that I have no intention to heal." And a couple lines before that one: "Blessed are the meth drinkers, pot sellers, illusion dwellers."

[@ninaviren]

Thank you for mentioning the fear of taking space

[@yasminel-hakim4348]

I loved myself to death oh my god! Thanks for sharing dear Suzanne 🙏❤️

[@anglikai9517]

I've projected my highest love and the things I love most onto a screen, and I am chasing the screen for almost half of my life span only to realize that the goodies are actually within me.

[@MilliondollarNkKI]

This is depressing , sad and freeing all at the same time..

[@darrenyoung4509]

Love and thanks. 🦋💙

[@MsTara007]

Youre videos are so helpful. Its so reashuring,calming to hear somebody talk about this processes in more detail. Without this, I often wonder if im completely lost. When you said that the memories of where you were not authentic to yurself showed themselves countless times...i was so grateful, i always have this feeling that im lost and not getting something,because its repeating so many times...So thank you for these shares!!🤗🙏

[@macparker3549]

Beautifully said, and agreed! 🙏🔥🫥⭕️🌻

[@anglikai9517]

You had become both everything and nothing all at the same time, congratulations!

[@nihilistoner]

You’re super brave. Wonderful words as always!

[@robertkoekoek9630]

Labeling emotions as 'mine' proves 'me'. Labeling the body as 'mine' proves 'me'. Labeling insights as 'mine' proves 'me'. Labeling control as 'mine' proves 'me'. 'Me' desperately needs approval. To be proven. To whom?

[@brentonl]

Me needs validation to continue the story

[@macparker3549]

“I guess I speak more about the disillusionment of all of that.” Yes, you do. And that simple statement pretty much expresses why you relating your experience of this is of such value in my experience. Thank you. 🙏🔥🫥⭕️🌻💜

[@yamaart]

So hearty to listen to this, and the birds as well, your voice is like I am talking to myself/everyone/no one...thank you Suzanne.

[@SitavNabi]

How comforting it is to know, there is nothing to do, nothing to be, and yet life will give us everything we have ever desired just by existing :)

[@annemarieslee7720]

Thanks Suzanne❤

[@kundaliniandnonduality]

These graveyard videos are so peaceful, I love them. The content, but also the birds and the wind...Thank you! :)

[@Anastasia-oy2zp]

This is no more questions asked. Even when there is confusion… no excuses no escape.

[@wakingupfromthewakingdream3607]

Like your hat. :)

[@rjfranquiz]

I don't see sadness here, with her. I see acceptance, realization, settlement and maturity.

[@treasurechest2951]

Yeah I think whatever sadness is projection. This is just pure being theirself. If that's not kosher with whoever the viewer, then that's on them.

[@thegozmonk3507]

The contextual sounds become the main focus of awareness as the mind becomes more silent 🙏🏽❤️

[@cleestacy]

“There was nothing left, but life. There was no more of me left, just life”❤

[@gameofthrones5655]

What seemingly dies...never existed ...but in the mind...so...no lost...no win.

[@walkingsleeper9713]

Both triumphant and defeated

[@aflaz171]

But yet you still have to do in this world!

[@WingZeroSymphonics]

its great that there is someone out there who speaks on these terms. Its both comforting and confronting. That's why its so valuable. There is the ending of stigma and yet a very keen attention to who one is and what actions to take. Except, its not founded on conditional basis. As in comparison to one another. Non-duality and its reality can find difficulty in application with a life made up of a career that is entirely set on maintaining status quo. So many of us, would prefer the illusion of comparative success. And then we ask why are we so unfulfilled, neurotic and anxious? I believe that the manner in which non-duality is lived can have an impact on the nature of the roles which we maintain for livelihoods. In that, the more in line they are with the reality of non-duality, the more of a content people there are, but as well as efficiency on the fundamental nature of things.

[@CelticStone]

what is my goal, to be free of goals, what is my destination, to be free of travel. Learn to describe/live your experience without using the 5 senses or its submodalities

[@gilbertlujan1220]

Yes that’s exactly what I dealt with , exactly This first happened to ( the me ) when I was around 10 yrs young , 40 yrs ago ! And still I’m not use to it but it is what is dealt with even now ! You have to pretend not to notice it day in day out or you can just go with it and actually it’s really how you feel about yourself , but it’s more like what you feel about others that you are most really sort of concerned about ! It is strange but it is what is happening !I know without any doubt how you see it !

[@HiluT]

❤

[@premganga8822]

🌷

[@WhenEyeWokeUp]

I would love to have a conversation with you to discuss further. Interesting stuff for sure!!

[@rjfranquiz]

Thanks Suzanne. Watched some of your video posts. I can only smile, noting the date stamp of the posts. Commented on a few. Enjoy the journey! A picture (graphic) that you may like to see... It will have meaning for you later, possibly. (Augh, no simple way to copy-paste, ...oh well). Maybe later in another way, if it's meant to be.

[@natanunorthodox]

And that's what everyone will do when you're being absolutely and brutally honest with yourself and them...they will have excuse, after excuse, after excuse for things, or put on the daily facade. Then you say to yourself, well why keep being honest with this person or these people, when they are not going to be or get honest with themselves? This is when the isolation, the anger, the what the hell am I doing here comes in. Instead of just getting right to the point, most people beat around the bush constantly with every little detail in their lives. They are too worried about pleasing, acting like, what others think, being validated, seeking approval, etc...this is why they can't even be themselves in totality. The fear of being honest is everywhere in our world. How many do you know who are really, actually honest with themselves? How many? I am sick and tired of it all to the point where I don't even want anything to do with it anymore if I'm being honest. I can't stand fake and phony things, and it's sorry to say, but the whole world is putting on. That's the truth with most, but only they know that deep inside, what makes them, them. I can't call it but for myself....NataN 🌗

[@masonchase4599]

If you could go back and not chase this realization down, would you? I sometimes wish I never got into spirituality and miss the comfort of thinking my existence was solid and so were the institutions I had come to rely on

[@justincbryant]

i relate to you a lot

[@gilbertlujan1220]

And also you know the best way it seems to make it better is that to experience the world ( the moment )) is to experience it with out thought , and I find that is the purest way , form of consciousness and somehow even you don’t understand ,it you feel it , and that may be the way it should be in the first place !!!!

[@Fernandocruzmendoza]

There is nothing new under the sun. Every thing that is... Was and will be again and again. I think we are a Mind living in a body with a Brain. I think we need to have a (constant) that brings us back to "reality" or present moment. Life is hard as it is, lets just live one day at time.

[@jasonadams280]

beautiful soul

[@crash936]

Your sadnesss is beautiful.

[@circusOFprecision]

There is nothing external that one has to achieve to achieve one’s self. But then what happens when our internal strength is afflicted? We aren’t our beliefs or our accomplishments. We are that which experiences the continuity. In that continuity, it all changes as it becomes us. And there is often a voice that says “yeah, but what about this success or that failure, or these particular thoughts, or these certain emotions?”. This voice tempts us to hold onto things, ideas, emotions that we ought not hold. We also need not fear that dread that plagues us, that voice that says “you’ll never feel whole again”. We can face the fear and allow it to consume us like a fire because it will burn itself out and then we will renew. The depths of seeing the despair, those are the most vast depths. I’ve returned from them and broken the surface of the deep, I know it can be done.

[@deni0404]

Beautiful deathless death.

[@gilbertlujan1220]

Hi Suzan ! How would the experience be , without an emotional reaction ? What would be the response , would there even be a response ? Animals don’t think or react through emotions they just are and be. ! They don’t respond to the past or future

[@susanamos6237]

At a certain point it becomes pointless!

[@solomonsapp]

You should write a book of poetry.

[@bmthsandra]

what do you think of purpose or dharma in general now aside from simply just being? like do you see it perhaps in sharing your experience with others? or does this have no meaning anymore

[@gilbertlujan1220]

What’s really strange is that the illusion. ( we. ) actually do not live in the moment , people live in the past in the moment ! The emotions seem to keep you from living in the moment because all it knows is the past , with out that we would not be !

[@doloreskuechler855]

🙏🏻🤍🌹

[@rjfranquiz]

Tough to talk about and describe, isn't it!? ...the ineffable! But, nonetheless, this was said well. Love to converse. Just realize, before & after the "event", chop wood, carry water.

[@kelliedawn9229]

I feel as if i am in this space of no real desires been hear for a while sort of been there done that. None of it last the excitement i hear people talk about in wanting things & experiences. Idk does anyone really get excited at all? When there are no anyone's anyways. 😅

[@macparker3549]

Reading your post, I’m reminded of an old clip by Adyashanti. I think it was called, “Your personal will starts to dry up.” Woman describing a very similar state to yours, and Adyashanti’s beautiful response. Was very helpful to me. You might appreciate it? Best to you… 🔥🫥⭕️🌻

[@minimal3734]

I'm so tired of the game and of myself. Does it ever come to an end?

[@walkingsleeper9713]

Multiple games that are being swaped for eternity. Where eternity loses its meaning.

[@PetraKann]

"What I wanted...."

[@rjfranquiz]

I read comments. Yes, to love yourself to death. A blessing: may you die before you die. There's no real self. Most forget, it's a "sense of self" and even that's a incorrect statement, for it's more a "sense of self-ING"; a verb, not a noun. There are no such things, or nouns. Just movement, fluxing energies, the mental construct of self-ING is no different. And yes, it's the universes' big booby prize! But worth being blessed with this experience, for life becomes easier, smoother, and personal crappola is simply dropped. Any personality reappearing, it's ok. The truth is known and never forgotten. What she speaks of, cannot be obtained by the personal self-ING. It is the death of this mental construct. Everything changes!

[@vidia956]

How can you say: " It was me doing it" , when it is seen that there is no me? And never has been.

[@CosimoReef]

❤❤❤❤❤❤

[@gabrieltopan9315]

if you get a huge slpa is that an ilusion ? im sure the grass around you is real . you might not know who you are but the trees and plants around you know. you should change your diet and start practicing breathing exercizes dayli 20-30 breaths

[@sjsjksks5138]

Everything's a illusion in this bloody illusion.

[@giuseppe6273]

Is there cemetery only in your nearby ?

[@kelliedawn9229]

A question that comes is whats the point?

[@isnortshrooms]

The point is just a human construct so whatever you construct it to be. If your point is to dissolve constructs, you end up with no point, no pointlessness either

[@walkingsleeper9713]

The point is. As cliche as it is, to in the end, world is your playground. What I dont agree with in this video is that we live only once. We were never born and we have never died.

[@tim2269]

13:00 🙃

[@4ntifreez]

now go and tell this to your neighbour

[@shaug1536]

This may be shocking to you, but your neighbor doesn't care what you say 99.9% of the time

[@4ntifreez]

@@shaug1536 mine is drunk all the time, you are correct

[@anavarzau4984]

That comment made me laugh 😂

[@justinbyrge8997]

If you disappear, then who is the one speaking in these videos? Do you not have an internal monologs anymore?

[@Hellcat9118]

I think you still have some things to “do. You’re not entirely ready to “be”. Otherwise you wouldn’t be making videos. The important work is to give up that search, give up the idea of being somebody, being the teacher, being the guru, being the world teacher being the world renowned great, great person who everybody listens to. All that just drops away. Then you just sit. If people come to you fine, let them be happy; that’s fine it doesn’t matter but you are always situated in that peace. This is what brings that extra capacity of non-local consciousness in the proximity of great, great people.

[@SqueezeLift]

Tell that to all the great saddhus who were never recognized on a grand scale. You have to be involved with the world to become renowned no matter if you are enlightened or not. Enlightenment has nothing to do with external circumstances bro. “You” have all this wisdom but can’t see this?

[@Hellcat9118]

@@SqueezeLift Genuine enlightened teachers of every time all taught the same message all of life is one. Unity of the experiencer and the experience must be achieve. The separate self must be united. Relaxing in silence, stillness and emptiness is not a complete realization. The universe is both formless and form existing as the expression of the Self. Holding to one-half of existence and believing it is the complete state of enlightened realization is stopping before true union is achieved.

[@SqueezeLift]

@@Hellcat9118 not holding onto anything besides skill & authenticity. Surrender from the cliff of your mind that you hang on so tightly to. Even enlightenment isn’t a one and done end goal, just a milestone along the way. You’ve broken down your Akashic boundaries, but physical evolution & growth through learning occurs at any stage of life no matter how mystical you are. Social boundaries are still imposed by hierarchical statuses we must thrive and function in, and thus; we must bend to their will even if concepts and ideas are child’s play after nirvana. Even if you found that you are the water in AND outside of the cup, you must make yourself more finite to fit different cups at will in order to thrive skillfully. Also, I agree with most of what you just said, Especially the second paragraph.

[@Hellcat9118]

@@SqueezeLift ❤️ We’re all on our own journey. The forms are always evolving. Our understanding is always evolving, emotions always evolving. I know what is creation. I’ve experienced it. That doesn’t change. What does change is what’s in creation. So I embrace the changeless and I embrace the change with all of myself the best I can. And in that way we embrace all that God is and all that life is. So I’ll never know it all because the Universe is always changing and never be at the highest level because God is always growing. That gives me humility, compassion, and wisdom.

[@SqueezeLift]

@@Hellcat9118 ❤️

[@ItApproaches]

Disagree on the word alone. It doesn't mean a "self", Alone is a description. Is a single meteorite flying through space alone? Yup. Everything is alone. A rock, a tree, a water droplet, everything is alone.

[@gilbertlujan1220]

Very true ! However we are here with everyone else, we are alone but at the same time we are not alone ! Just like a rock flying through space alone but it’s flying through something that correlates with that rock space is some how provided for that object and everything else to exist in or to just happen in that moment

[@ItApproaches]

@@gilbertlujan1220 We lay our head down, drift off to sleep, shift to a new reality (dream) and experience new experiences once more. Yet the us of that dream world and all those in it, are all phantoms. Everything is alone, because there is nothing.

[@minimal3734]

Alone - all one - no other

[@zeynabkhojasteh]

💫