What IF your EX is doing no contact TOO | Who Should Reach Out First?

[@blacademic]

To book a 1 on 1 coaching call, click here: calendly.com/breakupcoachtj

[@raquelgoldsmith3309]

I kno, I'm a good women, don't why ppl asked me what happened, don't asked me that, what happened, asked him that , and cee what he will tell you....

[@mrreddington777]

Never wait for someone to reach out to you even if you want that person back. Focus on you. Go to a sports game. Take up a new hobby. You don’t need to turn into Tom cruise and learn how to pilot a plane but do something that will make you happy. Waiting for someone to reach out to you is like waiting to die…slowly. I was waiting for 3 months this year for my ex to reach out and I was like wtf am I doing?

[@cocobird8289]

I’m over with my ex! He pushed me away! I don’t want him back. No stress,no headache! Thank you coach ❤️U helped me a lot when i was down and broken😢

[@jeaneengant6771]

Same here.. I’m over it..

[@erabutler3388]

@@jeaneengant6771 same here

[@nener5441]

Me too

[@shirleynorman4492]

Same here, but you did help me get through it and healed 😢

[@tinalang1320]

Same here. I don’t need anyone disturbing my Peace

[@BerryBlondaewithADHD]

This one was phenomenal. Because I broke it off, but felt like I got dumped.

[@bipbop7231]

The best internet breakup coach, EVER!

[@nkechiokolie1727]

Yes he is..❤

[@babyluvjr]

I agree

[@Chrissy.H]

Oh my goodness- THANK YOU for doing a video on going no contact if you are the “dumper” that left a toxic or one-sided relationship (or friendship). There is hardly any information on this unique situation. I would love to hear more on this topic. Thank you for your continued dedication and hard work.

[@ExaltTanv]

I was putting in effort in the relationship, but not into myself. I wasn’t growing and I was stagnant for the 2 years we were together. She wanted to be alone more, I wanted to always hang out constantly and talk everyday. We didn’t establish healthy boundaries when it came to time apart. It ended up draining her completely, she stopped doing the things she enjoyed and her world revolves around mine. It wasn’t healthy. It was my first relationship and I wish I knew what I know now. She broke up with me about almost a month ago, been in no contact since then. It wasn’t a toxic break up at all, it was actually as well as you could have wanted one. I understand my flaws as a person and I’m working on myself to become a better version, not for her sake, but for my sake. I still love her, she still loves me. I hope we find our way back to each other. Thanks for the videos coach. Let me know if there’s anything else I can do.

[@xxxxxx3279]

What happend next?

[@prateek2947]

Same everything. Its my story 😢

[@ell635]

Same for me. How you doing now?

[@oluwadamilolaoriade5426]

To be honest! I'm tired of relationship nowadays! It's really hurtful and draining the energy of dumper... I seeing many women are really crying, sad and loosing their worth because of the trust and true love they have for their boyfriend and their husband 💔😤😭

[@lke4907]

Thank you for explaining and clarifying this dynamic!!! I was so confused about what to do. But I've been doing the right thing, even tho I was the one that ended it!!

[@asherreboh826]

Did she ever come back?

[@lke4907]

@asherreboh826 yes but he didn't change and was even worse so I ended it permanently

[@jaylenflenaugh7992]

Usually when you dump someone you are the person that needs to reach out unless they did something in specific to cause the breakup

[@wintoby]

The one who ended the relationship & did not care/invest should be the one to reach out!

[@palomahair8616]

Yes

[@Diamondjenee]

So much clarity. I knew this but hearing you say it just made me feel much more secure in my decision. Thank you so much.

[@mikes7978]

You might not see this comment but please please if you do please do more videos on this very perspective of being the one putting in the effort and being forced to end it, I felt like you spoke to me with this one. I’m currently in no contact but it’s so brutal even though I know it’s the right thing to do.

[@darnellj.9812]

I just asked myself this yesterday at work ! We been avoiding interactions

[@aveleofficial]

Ex texted me yesterday for the first time they still care about me and have love for me .. I ain’t responding cause after doing no contact, staying in the gym and leveling myself up as a man I’m already over it

[@aquillastephenson7925]

You gotta do you..

[@aquillastephenson7925]

My ex dumped me and said I will be the one to chase him but, I didn't. I'm so glad that I never cheated on him nor disrespected his parents. So, no karma there for me. Just focusing on myself and building myself..I don't have any feelings now...over him, did my therapy and now I'm healed

[@kidbu916]

No real talk, things have been on the up and up for me. I'm really not that pressed to be with my ex. Like if she can't see how valuable and rare I am, then that's on her.

[@babyluvjr]

That's what's up blood

[@aquillastephenson7925]

@@kidbu916 I said the same thing.. I'm rare... Building and maintaining myself

[@kevinfancher434]

What a coincidence. I was just thinking today what if my ex is doing no contact also 🤔 then without even looking I came across this video. Thanks for the information coach. God is good and so are you.👍

[@christelle8572]

Thank you for the video. We are both doing no-contact since April of this year. I walked away as I got fed up with her tendencies to give priority to others. She didn't seem to realise how hurtful it was to me and took it more as a jealousy problem, which wasn't.

[@MarcusNewton24]

Have an abundance mindset

[@Suzy_5683]

I needed THIS video today! Broke up with him this morning because he wasn’t putting in effort.

[@ogbc100]

What’s the update 👁️

[@jahanvimishra870]

I don’t know if I’ll ever get my ex back through no contact but coach blac you certainly help me calm my anxiety. Maybe someday I might get over him

[@InstaOmry]

Thanks, it crossed my mind lately. Its not mine, its her accountability to try after she did practically nothing for months.

[@teem5945]

7:15 it definitely does! Thank you.

[@Nemanthaheshara]

I found your channel like month ago. Back then i needed my ex so badly i behave like a needy person but by the time watching your videos and some others i finally reach the point that now i only value my self i can't force anyone to love me. Now i understand. Now i don't need her. I went no contact for like 3 weeks she texted me. I don't care so i didn't reply. Because she is in another relationship i don't need her anymore. I remember tristan tate saying "Don't be second place to anybody"

[@LonewolfDusk]

Thank you for posting this! I’ve been going through hell, beating myself up over breaking up with my girlfriend. But she baited me “do it, go ahead and break up with me”… because I didn’t like that she sided with her ex-husband more than me most of the time. She put the ex first and I bailed.

[@tejasjadhav9803]

I'am from India. I have to say he is the best practical and smart coach on internet. You're very helpful sir . Thanks

[@solidvibez-ss22]

I put in the work the effort, I also walked away because I had to keep my value, he hasnt reached out and its been months now so what can I do? Im focussed on myself, I feel like he didnt care but part of me knows he did, maybe he has feelings but that doesnt mean he wants me the same way I want him. Either way, even if he did reach out, too much time has passed for me to trust him. I would feel better if he reached out because he would be showing an effort, and it would feel great to put a solid end to things, but I guess closure isnt always the way we want things to happen, closure just means finished, an end to things, its closed. He is still a good guy in my eyes, because I have feelings for him, so wishing him the best n hope he is happy in life, I still want the best for him, even if its not wirh me. Thank you coach Blac, be well ❤

[@unknowboysvlogsghana9750]

You are explaining what’s happening in my relationship right now I am the one who put much work and she’s acting crazy like this she doesn’t want to see me or come to me and she pulling out so am giving up now slowly 🤞🏾

[@DT-kl7uf]

FINALLY!! first coach on here that has the answer Im looking for. You hit my relationship and what happened right on the head. I complained and pretty much gave her the boot and she said....sorry but I cant give you what you need. I know that if I didnt tell her how I felt we would probably still be together and I would be unhappy. Im missing her big time, but I have to take care of me in the long run. Thanks Blac

[@fullerfamily4692]

This is 100% my situation! I needed to hear this! Ive been working on myself but cant stop wishing her back. I was confused if i should reach out because i broke up with her or if I should wait. This really helps.

[@COMARto]

This was the message that was missing from your content til now, good work! 🙂

[@cosmicbodys7258]

Yung Playa, the best thing a LaLa can do for me is say "NO". Thanks for convincing me NOT to give you something you did not want from me saving me the DRAMA & TRAMA of wasted time.

[@LoLaLyTV]

For the past 3 days while delivering with FedEx, I've been listening to all of your videos. I've now completed all of the videos and a few of your past live videos, but the last video I watched I still had so many questions. So many concerns and I went into panic because I'm like okay. No more videos. What am I going to do now? This is so crazy that you just uploaded this video. It's like one of my major questions, not the actual title of the video, but what you spoke on about if I'm the person who broke up with them but I feel like I've been dumped, like when you said that it hit home like this video could not have came at a more convenient time! I'm so glad that I found you and I'll be waiting on the next upload. I will be reaching out to do a one-on-one cuz I'm going to forever. Have questions? Not on my most recent breakup. Just about breakups, relationships etc Because I need a teacher.😅

[@Donewith2924]

I just love how you explain things. Thank you

[@robertgarcia6828]

Thank you brotha, I appreciate all your words of wisdom, as it definitely resonates with me completely. Of all your videos this one landed with me the most, real talk! Keep givin it to the world as you have a gift man. We are blessed to have you! God Bless you Brotha!

[@soextra7726]

Needed to hear this today to know my worth, thank you

[@joebermuda6452]

I don’t really believe in the whole concept of “ what if bith are doing no contact?” The one who broke up with you is already distancing from you so they are doing no contact by default and they are expecting you to NOT be doing it. Sooooo if you match their energy and show you aren’t needy you will win!

[@valeriecraig4015]

Excellent video!! The person who did the dumping may feel as if they were abandoned months ago

[@ronancarrillo2235]

I do not agree. Based on my own experience, I was the one who walked away. I was the one fully invested, caring the relationship, putting in the effort. When people are consistent in their inconsistency, and consistent on not showing up for the relationship, that's a clear sign they don't respect and value you. Walk away. No need to reward bad behaviors.

[@radheradhejayshreekrushna2517]

Whenever i am down i listen to u, for my own self esteem, self worth like some Guru/Saint guiding. 🙏

[@denoc817]

Testing a man who's not affraid to be lone is like playing with fire. Don't be shock if you get burn.

[@Neverbeating101]

Greetings from baltimore!

[@JoMama123451234]

My ex would argue that she was the one putting in all the work but I would argue that I was putting in more work. She ended up dumping me and I made some mistakes ane begged for a couple weeks afterwards. Offered to go to couples counseling etc. But thats why i am the one in NC. I tried to repair it afterwards and she said no. So i had to walk away to preserve my self-respect and not get friend zoned by her. But she may be also in NC at this point. However, I told her that she can let me know if she wants to work through things together. 2 months of NC now and not a word from her other than posting cryptic stoties about me.

[@rupalimore4692]

Listen to the coach ..people..no contact you or them whoever..just see who is more invested..if you were more invested and they werent then who cares who initiated no contact..its basically keep your sanity ..breaking up with someone who is not invested as you are is the right thing to do..dont overcomplicate it..by you reaching out

[@fitforfreelance]

Well targeted video and described situation. It feels like you're talking directly to me on this. Like, I know better, but am I trippin? Then I have to remind myself that if I try to fix things, it's just gonna be the same old thing... 🙅🏾‍♂️

[@babyluvjr]

Thanks!

[@babyluvjr]

Great video, makes alot of sense

[@kellkell852]

You made my day 💪🏾💯💃💃

[@blacademic]

Thanks for watching!

[@sharonthoroughgood4242]

Thank you, this helped me feel so much better, at least for a few minutes.

[@TomAndrews91]

Appreciate this video. I'm in no contact right now and she's already reached out after three weeks. She is with someone else currently.

[@MrIrelevant12]

My situation is a little more confusing. If you have an advice. I was the one who got dumped for getting too comfortable and they felt like they were putting in all the effort. Essentially we didn’t communicate enough with each other. By the time they told me about how they were feeling with several issues they said it was too late they already hit a breaking point. I chased unfortunately so now I’m in NC, do I just let them be?

[@johnmichaelespejon2399]

Im in the same situation, in nc for 3 weeks, recently she remove me as follower on tiktok, but still follows me plus she still share her location with me. So Im also confused as hell

[@teachandlearn7665]

Great video cleared all doubts!

[@thetattedpilot]

Who cares if she doin no contact fellas your focus shouldn’t be her or wat she doing it should be your purpose ! Stay on the grind and keep improving

[@uprightman100]

5🎤........5⭐ video Coach Blac

[@cosmeticcarrepair]

Coach Clarity 💪🏽

[@ghaolliuqnor2990]

Just exactly what I need to hear right now. Thank you so much

[@molkabazdah4100]

Thanks so much ! Could u please make a video about the masculine energy?

[@laurafelker6262]

Coach I am so happy! This no contact stuff really works. My ex messaged me tonight, apologized for everything. Told me he can't live without me and that he never stopped loving me! We are working things out as we both need to change some things! Thank you so much for these videos! They kept me going thru these last 4 months! We are back in a relationship! 🩷

[@TomAndrews91]

Happy for you. My ex reached out after three weeks and said they still loved me and that I'll probably never leave their heart. They started going out with someone the day we broke up though. I'm hoping she will realise the grass isn't greener and come back to me. Trying to work on myself in the meantime.

[@proudmanyakis]

WE BOTH WATCH THIS VIDEO SO WE NO CONTACT EACH OTHER

[@babyluvjr]

You be doin the damn thing pimpin!! Im definitely a super fan

[@bryanmardoian6339]

my ex just went MIA saying she is bringing her uncle home from the hospital and that all that matters, that was after I told her I think she is seeing someone. I tried for six weeks real nice to get her to talk to me and tell me why she is ignoring me.She hasn't said not a word since she said I'm bringing my uncle home and that all that matters, She disconnected her phone.

[@krystalreid1302]

What if you both were fully invested equally but the reason for the person breaking up with you was because they felt their privacy was invaded?

[@raquelgoldsmith3309]

Honestly I keeping it under no contact, Im not happy with him or without him...I miss my peace....

[@livno1985]

Whatup Blac!?

[@Afternoon99]

I’m glad I found this video

[@spandan.T]

Our situation is forbidden love , I’m a Christian she’s a Muslim but to us love had no boundary, her mum caught her texting me so she moved out and lived with her dad but things got complicated, one day she saw her mum again and missed her , though out the relationship she loved me so much, she just felt guilty making her mum depressed, she wanted to go back to her mum but she can’t text me at her home. We did not fall out of love we still love each other it was very hard and it was a healthy breakup , through out our relationship she promised no mater what happens she promised she will get back to me and she made the same promise the time is right she will get back to me

[@thomesc6214]

Listen to this man!

[@briannaalamo9932]

Thank you! This makes sense !

[@yvonnebillison6204]

Thank u so much for that. Now i finally understand.

[@jennylove3084]

Love your channel soooo much Coach! You’ve helped me soooo much and I am so grateful! Thank you for being so selfless and guiding all of us! 🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼

[@Wadadli68]

Spot on!

[@Usernameblankslate]

I have been watching your videos recently and I find them very interesting. I’ve been also wondering what happens if both parties have decided to do no contact.

[@PreshyPearl]

Coach are you a Nigerian?

[@basicinfo2022]

It means they are both in their feminine role and dominantly in their feminine energy. You need polarity in romantic relationships. Sounds like incompatible. The masculine man pursues the feminine woman.

[@user-xf4qv6lk9h]

Thank you for this. Dynamics was needed

[@user-xf4qv6lk9h]

@Tap.my.profile.for_his_number Hmmm

[@maltaustheresina2068]

thankyou ❤❤

[@OhMellow]

Timing, bro 👌🏻

[@ruimanuel9361]

we wanted to get married this year... 9 year relationship in January we moved to a new Apartment and 4 weeks later she broke up and in the end it was a bit ugly. I dont think she will come back i think its over. But thanks for those videos great help for me

[@ruimanuel9361]

Wow really glad u acctually saw that but i think i m better off without her. She told me on my birthday that she wanna break up after 4 weeks in a new Apartment she threw me out without a fight. She knew what she was doing. I just work on myself in the gym and improve myself mentaly aswell. Thanks for hearing me out. Keep those good Videos up!

[@rachelvk777]

NEEDED THIS. This was for me!! But how can they start to car when they didn’t care when they left?? I’m confused

[@barry4332]

There is usually no logic with it.

[@thomesc6214]

Thank you coach.

[@sibanandrout7304]

Love your videos brother.. keep going..🙌

[@chegemukuria9153]

Best!!!

[@olaideadedamola8933]

I am the one to reach out this is just hitting me

[@AndyRodriguez-gg8im]

Facts!!!! Great advice 💪🏼🙏🏻

[@bgleo2908]

Bingo👏👏👏

[@beastmasterakathabarbaric1509]

In reality i know my ex gf doesnt deserve me.i was loyal and faithful to her and she ghosted me over an abusive dead beat bum baby daddy who i had to step up to the plate and he used her constantly..She should be the one trying not me...

[@WFREDOWINNING]

So what about if she left me because i put no effort, to be a better version of myself? Love was great but she questioned me as the person she could depend on to have a family

[@OkOk-wl7le]

I invested more on her than she did to me but I ended things cus she’s “too nice” to actually say it.

[@leonjohnsonjr3331]

Coach I never reach out thanks to you

[@Jknows2]

For 6 years she was the one putting the effort. I didnt change nor brought anything to the table. Now that’s it’s been 2 years without her while she’s dated others & is now with someone serious.. it hurts so much

[@jessealexander6155]

Felt that

[@basicinfo2022]

Sounds like she was tired of being in the masculine role.

[@Jknows2]

@@basicinfo2022 you’re totally right. It’s been game over for me huh?

[@JackSmith-mx9cs]

I went into NO CONTACT when my ex broke up with me and she hasnt reached out only on my birthday which was about 4 weeks ago. But since then she has been viewing my social media stroies. Am quite a busy person during the week but when i go out with my friends on weekens we do have fun. I posted a story on one of my social media going out and she blocked me after viewing the story. but she hasnt blocked me on other social media platform. Please what does that mean?

[@runout1013]

Maybe after a month of her viewing your stories you should reach out

[@nidhiwankhade2210]

Please coach make a video on accused of cheating when you didn’t even cheat or near to it . We guys broke up and had no contact for 3 months , in those 3 months I created new memories to suppress the old ones , and now he says why did you spoke to that guy or any other after breakup , you cheated on me ! Like how ? If I cheated on him I would never go back to my boyfriend to talk and sort the breakup ! What to do coach need help on this

[@ui4lh]

In this case, is a who pisses the furthest and no one pisses further than me...

[@starttakinnotez]

My ex is doing no contact to get me to chase after her while she love bombs the new source of supply. I was triangulated with like 50 people for a year and a half. 10 of them were potential "love interests" that she could benefit from. People that grow weed, have $, have an only fans following and can edit her only fans photos. The other 40 people were friends, family, coworkers and her therapist. She needed to put all the blame on me to feel better. My ex is an avoidant but she's also 100% a covert/vulnerable narcissist. I was cheated on for the entire year and a half we were together. She's still triangulating me with the new supply even though I've cut all contact. Adding songs to playlists about missing me while she's with the new supply. This makes the new supply chase after her even more. It's all about being able to progress the relationship so she can get her needs met. Once the new supply fucks up once she will contact me and see where I'm at as a potential back up plan & to control the new supply. But I'm not going to allow her to come back. I want emotional equity in my next relationship, and a narcissist absolutely cannot give that to me.

[@karolkozak64]

You man are worth a lot more, you know your value. Do not let anyone treat you like this please.

[@CL-DevineHonor]

Walk away forever from this person, and never look back!! You must cut all ties with her for good! You have nothing to lose, and she has all to win at this point..., because she knows you like the palm of her hand!! She will never stop using you if you do not cut all contact with her. If you want a good life you must do this! You have stagnated as a person, and must come out of that dark, toxic hole you are in. It's not easy, but you must for your own sake. Keep listening to Coach Black, but also purchase/order the book: "Letting Go" by David R. Hawkins. This book is such a great investment, and you will learn so much about yourself! It will do you so amazing to move on, to detach and stay tall/strong no matter what life throws at you!! Trust me, you will come out of this toxic mess eventually W/OUT HER!! . Aim to be the best of your potential and never to depend on anybody else ever again.

[@krs1605]

Fuuu the Narcasist. They'll ditch u in a store. Trick a triangle on a meathead in the mall lot. Come back where have u been?!!

[@gal4xy193]

Can I ask a question

[@annajamjam1383]

What if you told your ex being friends isn’t going to work and you need to move on? He said he wishes we could keep the friendship but he understands my decision. I’m in no contact now but I’m worried he’ll never reach out because he’s respecting my request..

[@Thegoat1980-f7v]

Good question because I did the same! I told him that I needed to walk away from the situation and him. He wanted to “still be friends” but I felt like he only wanted to stay friends to keep me as a backup. We’ve known each other for almost a decade, but I don’t think we could ever really go back to being friends because he treated me like my worth was very low in his eyes. So now I see him as a different person. A person that I really don’t like!!!!

[@annajamjam1383]

@@Thegoat1980-f7v yeah I realized I can’t stay friends. As much as I miss him and want to break no contact sometimes, I tell myself. Would I be okay staying “friends “ and be okay with him telling me he found someone else, or would I be okay if I saw him active online but he takes forever to message me. Or going months without him asking to hangout? NO it would be hard. So that’s how I knew it’s not healthy for me to remain friends

[@Thegoat1980-f7v]

@@annajamjam1383 Exactly! I think I’d have to face the reality of being a space filler. I heard that he’d already started dealing with someone else while dealing with me. I knew it was true when he told me that he loves me, but that we are no good for each other, toxic, and should stop sleeping with each other!I felt like he was trying to push me away but still keep me around just in case. I work with his friend and I told his friend that we won’t be discussing him! His friend told me that he contacted him out of the blue the other day. I told his friend that he’s dead to me, it’s rude to discuss the dead, and to let that muthafucka RIP!

[@ashleysales1958]

I’m in the same boat!

[@novaluna4097]

Stating "friends" usually leads to Friend With Benefits. Then you'll have MORE questions! 😢 Trust me... he WILL miss you. You'll know. ❤

[@Kutekellznails]

Is blocking the same as being in no contact?

[@Chris-q2l1i]

How do I get a one on one ?

[@tmoney6508]

My ex broke up with me and accused me of having sex in my car with a woman on our street in front of our house after she put a audio recording in my car claiming she heard us gettin busy on my way to work. I'm really confused that's bs. I need sum answers on this.

[@tilahunhailemariam7531]

I know I love her. After a month since we parted due to the damage she caused, I did not answer her phone even though she called me many times tonight. Finally she sent me a text saying I need you. I'm confused, I need help on what to do.

[@leratoseretsi5603]

Handle your business

[@jerongunn4416]

I've been no contact - Made all the mistakes in the beginning, Wife sent a love/breakup song 5 months in, I made a mistake of replying invested still. Went back to no contact and she has now asked to join my discord server/play games with mutual friends, She has been on every night compared to nothing for 6 months. We have joked around, kept it light. I've been working on myself a lot in all aspects. I'm not sure how to handle the discord/server issue if that is allowing her too much access? or if it is a good thing as I saw your other video about the train and considering I already told her it would be ok if she joined.

[@The2ndJr_]

Hi I've done the dumping, and wanted to to fix things between my ex and I but she was already seeing someone else. I did the begging then eventually I went into no contact. She reached out to me after a week of doing NC obviously I would kindly respond. This happened for about 2 weeks then eventually she reached out to catch up over coffee and we ended up spending the day together and had a great time. I gave it a few days before I reached out to her because I had a feeling she was just going to go back to her current situation where I was just there as an emotional crutch. I asked her out for lunch but she said she was busy, she suggested alternative days but then said she'll see. What should I do because I'm currently back into no contact? (This question is to anyone that's been in this situation before).

[@italiancapo7]

This man is a disciple of Corey Wayne

[@lionroot4073]

My ex break up with me and am going with nc for 1 week and she doesn't remove she steel in Ralation Ship on fb but should i do

[@MsYooToob]

* insert Diddy vs The Four contestant stare down meme *

[@ogbc100]

😂😂😂😂