What If

I can't tell you when it started in my mind, when I gave it up and left it all behind.
Hey guys, thanks for sticking around and sorry for the incredibly slow year... This is the only original song I've had the energy/motivation/inspiration to write. It's been a long year for me, both incredibly busy and emotionally taxing. I hope you guys can forgive the long drought.
This song had to be important to me for it to be the only song I write in a year, and it was. It's the spiritual successor to my song from last year "Crystal Heart". Obviously things didn't go that well as I'd hoped.
I pumped my creative energies and feelings into this, as the year went by things went up and down and I added more and more. I was finally satisfied with how it was written by the end of the summer. I had already had a demo done of the first verse and chorus, but it needed a lot more work to get done, and with my new full time job, I found myself lacking the motivation to work on music when I got home, especially on a depressed song like this.
But as the months went by I've pieced it together and I think I'm finally satisfied with it. It's a song about thinking back to what I might have changed, or how things might have turned out differently, and trying to move on.
Huge thanks to ShadyVox for helping me mix and arrange the drums!
/ shadyvoxyt
Also thanks to Chatters for this killer video/album art
/ chattersthebutt
You guys can pick up this song, as well as a fun B-side cover, over on my Bandcamp.
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Thanks for all your support and the continued subs throughout the year despite me not releasing anything asdfhgj! I love you all so much!
Verse 1:
What if I was wiser
Had found the words to say
To pull you through those struggles
That you go through every day
But my message is forgotten
Empty words upon a screen
What if I was closer
Could hold you in my arms
And protect you from a world that's full of
Tragedy and harms
Oh I tried to be there for you
Was as close as I could be
Pre Chorus 1:
But instead I flew back home alone
My heart was torn in two
And it's taken me till now to see
I'm not the one for you
And though things may change in time
I think for now I'm moving on
And the words they finally flow enough
To help me sing this song
Chorus:
And I
Am not quite sure just what’s wrong with me
(It’s hard to see)
And I
Know now it just won't work with you and me
(It sets me free)
But if I
Can’t find a way to understand myself
How can I give
The life I live
To someone else
Verse 2:
What if I was better
Would that have made things change
With all these twists and turns
It's like my life's beenre-arranged
And after all of this I don't know
What I'm feeling anymore
What if things were different
What if we had met before
'Cause by the time I came upon you
You had gone and shut the door
So I'm staring through the window
And my heart's upon the floor
Pre Chorus 2:
But instead of standing there just dreaming
Of what might have been
I'll forget about the past and
Do my best to try again
And though things may change in time
I think for now I'm moving on
And the words they finally flow enough
To help me sing this song

[@wolfy2813]

Almost 10 yrs later and its still my favorite song. It brings me back. Like I listen to it and I'm 17 again, Going to the brony meetups, making friends, and singing the words.

[@killer_greag3541]

You know a songs good when you sing along the first time you listen to it.

[@TannerMS1]

My life is so chaotic right now. This is my inspiration. This is why I want to help my loved ones.

[@SlyphStorm]

Great stuff! Good to hear from you again!

[@walek92SFC]

2:22 that bg vocal seems a bit weird. Other than that pure

[@Alpha121198]

This song applies to me too well. This is close enough to my life to be my theme.

[@thedood4713]

Yay!

[@knuxkid]

P1K is a perfect example of why I love this fandom! Awesome job man!

[@mitchelli6811]

As always, I appreciate all the time, effort, and meaning you put into this one song. Like other artists in the rock side of the fandom, I am grateful for being able to listen to such awesome and sincere music. I've always loved your music ever since I heard Coloured Lights, but as far as your life goes, I hope you're doing okay man.

[@ABluSkittle]

Very nice song, Great job!

[@Ephrones]

Wanted to tell you that I still listen to this from time to time.

[@KingdomLife.]

same

[@marescofamily]

Great work man. Really solid lyrically and musically. P1K is back!!!

[@candleskwut6286]

Even if you werent as active, you came back with a really good song with a lot of emotion , and passion in it. This is a really good song, even if it is sad.

[@SpiderPotterFan]

I loved it. Crystal Heart was a Song I identified myself with, and this one did it again Don't apologize for a slow year. We understand =)

[@CheezeyJoe]

The timing of this song with events in my life are perfect. Thanks P1K for the good feels. :)

[@cellyzs]

Heard this song at Whinny City 2018. Forgot about it, but just watched the livestream recording and I was aye I gotta hear this song!

[@DMC4EVERUCCI]

YEAH YOU RETURNED!!!! I'm so happy you're still sticking with us!!! You're one of my favorite musicians of all time, and this song is freaking awesome!! And don't apologize about the hiatus, real life can be mean sometimes. Can't wait to hear more stuff, even if I have to wait another year for it. Stay Well and Keep Rocking!!! :D

[@si1verflare]

Two things, Mr. P1K. 1) Your music continues to inspire. From my introduction to the fandom three years ago to today, your creative work has inspired my own. This song, in particular, is among your best. I love it. 2) I understand what you're going through, at least a little. I have stood amongst the crumbled ruins of my life, watching as all my plans for my future with someone drifted like ash on a breeze. The only comforting words I can offer are these: The ride isn't over. There are great things waiting for us in the unknown and unknowable future, amazing things we cannot even conceive. Moving on is probably the best thing you could try and do. I promise you, things will get better. Big hugs, man. Big hugs.

[@zemerarts]

Great song P1K, I truly can relate to this song. Thank you for spending your time and talents to make this amazing music. The long waits are always worth it =)

[@Soft_jace]

Oh man, these lyrics hit pretty close to me right now, just getting out of a rough patch that made me feel like this. Great song, as always!

[@comicnerdify]

As a fan of Sum41 brings back a lot of memories.

[@cpt.mystic_stirling]

I may not be a talent scout, but the world deserves to hear this. It just struck me right in the feelz. I always search for new songs almost everyday. Some I remember, but this certainly is one of those which I don't forget. I can say my search was a success for today. It's kinda like Owl City actually. ^u^

[@dgaray99]

Sweet!

[@quzth15]

P1K. Yet another great song :) Keep making amazing songs like this!

[@MANNY100123]

Don't worry, P1K! I'm just glad to see something new from you! ;)

[@xXPinkieFlyXx]

Omigosh. With such a long time between songs this feels amazing. Thank you so much for your amazing music you have made throughout the years. You are the reason I joined this amazing fandom and I just want to thank you for that. Thank you so much. All of your songs are amazing.

[@lyric4575]

Big fan of all your work like seeing you uploaded something original again /)

[@kay_sou]

I can't really relate to this song (not really interested in relationships or whatever), but great music is great music. I loved Crystal Heart and this is a great successor to that song. Great job dude.

[@theclockworkyoutubewatcher4124]

You just made my day. this song is like just like mr

[@DonnDeVoreMusic]

it's really good to hear you singing and playing music again P1K :)

[@Tontu96]

Nice song! Love the 3:30 - 4:00 part

[@iambunnieman]

I love you and this song.

[@stainlesskey9447]

Just discovered your music, it's gorgeous :) Bought your album on Bandcamp ^_^

[@Fox_Olive]

This song made me subscribe. Love you brosiden!

[@nauth123]

This is great!

[@DontJudgeTheOthers]

you just keep getting better and better :D

[@sapare7838]

As someone who spend the last 3 years trying to piece his life back together and move on(and honestly, failing) this song is quite heavy. I love your music P1k, I remember buying a CD from you back at Everfree 2012(It's All Fanfic to Me) because of my love for "The End of Ponies" Song. Those were much better days for me, but the music is still just as good. So, thankyou, for creating something that will be eternally bright(if not happy, at least touching), no matter how dark the world may get.

[@nettogames4268]

+Sapare Stoll I'm really glad there are people who are kind enough to spread the message of how an artist helped them, people like you. I know I'm probably not the replier you're hoping for, but I just couldn't sit back and skip past this. I personally think it's admirable you took the time to share something important and personal to you. I just wanted to say, thank you for... Existing, I guess :33

[@ZirmtheWyrm]

this is my first time listening to you and woah, you got another subscriber here. Really good stuff man, it's been awhile since i've heard something this good. beautiful

[@Sphenisciformes616]

Your songs never fail to be expertly beautiful. :3

[@TheRealKDaLips]

Another fabulous song, though I feel awful that you went through the circumstances which are the inspiration for this song. I'm sure we all want to encourage you to keep making music though, and to do it at your own pace. Sure, you didn't have any major songs this year, but that's completely fine. I've loved your music for quite a while and would love to see more of your work in the future. Also, I thought you did a real nice job at Bronycon this year. Anyway, have a merry Christmas and/or happy holidays.

[@GZBro]

Amazing! Have no more to say :)

[@TracesOfAHeadspace]

Hey man, welcome back, if only shortly. I've liked your music since the day I first heard Fade To Grey, and I've been subscribed ever since. I'd just like to thank YOU for putting out these awesome songs. Even if they are sporadic, know I'll always listen in when I see them. I hope your life get easier and happier, and I hope you have a Merry Christmas in a few weeks. Rock on P1K, Rock on! \m/ ( Oh, and a brohoof too if those are still a thing /)(\ )

[@sorrenpeak4870]

I knew it was one of those. Man, those songs are polar opposites, how did I get them confused? Nonetheless, great work. I love the feel of this.

[@jessebrooks7929]

You are so inspirational. I love your music and i love your story. Life isn't always about giving it all up for someone else, but it's about finding a balance. You are a great person P1K. You are my inspiration. ~ Dawn Speed

[@TechohChannel]

This is so beautiful. ;-; I love it, great job. ...I can relate to it so well. ^^

[@TechohChannel]

I really want to, but I barely have the time to check my KZbin. I still need to watch the bronies react. X3 I'll try to get online sometime this week, though.

[@GrayFur]

I haven't heard your songs for a while and this one is just AMAZING! Turns out I haven't heard even a half of your songs. How can that be even possible?

[@cpt.mystic_stirling]

+Gray Fur I only just found out about this channel now. I have a lot to explore :o

[@awesometonio1]

This song describes my life right now perfectly! It's really weird, like hearing a biography of me in song form. Kinda disconcerting.

[@sorrenpeak4870]

Man, that guitar riff. Getting hard vibes from "Apathetic way to be"

[@TheDocperian]

Every once in a while I come back to my favourite brony songs I listened to years ago, whether from one appearing on my phone thanks to shuffle all or some other prompt, and it's fitting that this one somehow ends up being one of the first few. Thanks for making music my dude

[@TheDocperian]

+1

[@cyril8084]

I new the straight away

[@camerondodge2070]

This almost sounds like the missing link between skate punk and pop punk. And yes, to all of you thinking of a snarky reply about how it's all the same, there is a difference.

[@abeclass9244]

I now it might be to much to ask but do you think you can post up the guitar tabs? It would be awesome if you did, I would love to play this with my friends or for my family.

[@anamoose461]

cool song. sort of sounds like reliant k

[@dddeath4565]

P1K your awesome and id buy all your songs if i had money!!(im 13)