What is autism masking? | Paddy and Christine McGuinness - BBC

[@kay-dc8495]

Autism is a very highly misunderstood thing that people need educated more on

[@lexkanyima2195]

And you don't mess or bully them ?

[@klxrad5205]

@@lexkanyima2195 Yh oviously-

[@carolinejohnson22]

Kay ...you mean doctors need more education.

[@forproject1666]

so true the amounts of people blaming the ex wife is disgusting. why judge her with NT Standards

[@user-ee8ux5hg8e]

It's environment that needs changing rat race doctors handing out drugs drinking smoking

[@ThereAreThoseWhoCallMeTim]

To people who like to vent about how much your autistic children, students, or patients drive you insane and make you miserable: You have NO idea how much anxiety, frustration, self-loathing, loneliness, and sadness many of us have to go through nearly every single day, partially because of how you talk about us when we aren’t around. Believe it or not, most of us on the spectrum are fully aware of how much of a “handful” we can be for you, and we feel deeply ashamed and guilty as a result. We care about your hardship and suffering as much as you care about ours (the people who claim we are generally incapable of empathy or feeling the pain of others are full of s%;t). If we could stop doing the things that stress you out so much, we absolutely would. But just like a man with severe paralysis can’t simply get off his wheelchair to lessen the burden of those taking care of him, we simply cannot “stop being autistic” as much as we would love to make things much easier for you. If it’s wrong to complain about having to look after someone with physical disabilities, then it’s also wrong to complain about caring for people with developmental disabilities as if you are the true victim. Yes you are dealing with A LOT, you are being pushed to your limits, your patience and resilience is being out to the test; but if you truly and genuinely care about us and not want us to feel like worthless parasites, then stop talking about us as if we are a constant source of pain and stress and headaches. We may not be there when you talk about us like that, but we can hear you. And it not only hurts us A LOT, but it completely contradicts you telling us that we are “fully loved and embraced for who we are” and are “not a burden in the slightest.”

[@youtube__handle]

THIS.

[@thepenguinofspace9291]

Spitting facts thanks for the recognition

[@Mamaofchaos2]

Does it not occur to you that many parents of autistic children are undiagnosed and unsupported autistics themselves, and that sometimes discussions about difficulties are necessary to try and get support out of a broken system that just wants to gaslight you in into believing your a bad parent because your child presents with issues that their school teachers don't understand. Both me and my children are autistic and we frequently trigger each others sensory issues and we talk about it. In fact talking about it helped me to understand the years of conflict and miscommunication I had with my own mother who I started to realise is also likely to be autistic. I get that telling your kids what a burden they are to you is an abuse but to say that parents whether there neurotypical or neurodivergent can't discuss there difficulties at all is unrealistic because people who are not able to process the emotions they are dealing with through their own struggles are also likely to struggle with their own mental health and then fail to meet the needs of the one they are caring for.

[@Awesomeautisticgirl]

I was diagnosed with autism at 28. I have been assessed for Personal Independence Payment three times during my adult life and been denied it. I watched this documentary on the day it was broadcast and I thought the reason why the denied me PIP was because throughout the assessment back in January this year I must of been masking throughout the assessment. UPDATE: On 12/08/22 I attended my tribunal PIP appeal hearing and won the appeal.

[@carolinejohnson22]

Sophie, can you remember the name of the programme and channel? The boy in the experiment was eight years old and therefore the cure took about 3 months. I was amazed and know that if my friend had known this when her son was little, she would have tried the diet. There's nothing to lose after all ...

[@Awesomeautisticgirl]

@@carolinejohnson22 BBC 1/BBC iPlayer, Paddy And Christine: My Family And Autism

[@Awesomeautisticgirl]

There’s one about Christine’s diagnosis tonight at 9pm on BBC1

[@Beekind799]

drink 500ml volvic mineral water daily for a month and let me know if you still have autism

[@Etch-on4oi]

I'm thankful my parents managed to get it for me when I was about 18 I don't know what I would do without it and it was like climbing a mounting for them trying to do the form and that for UC & PIP

[@Misshowzat]

Haha, it's so beauty that Dad having the revelation about what's actually happening. I'm so proud of him. You go Dad!

[@ilikeavacado]

Who TF farted at 1:09? That quick cut to the woman's reaction after is hilarious

[@Denis-89]

haha, now that you said it that is the only thing I can focus on:)

[@Victor-it6bv]

That's called masking

[@katypilkington1704]

Autistic masking is learning what gets you by, then applying it in a subtly different situation and it going all kinds of wrong, and not understanding why. My childhood was just confusing. Adulthood isn't much better but I've learned not to care.

[@Beekind799]

drink 500ml volvic mineral water for a month and let me know if you still have autism

[@Teeveepicksures]

I'm almost 50 and only recently realized I've been excusing myself from groups or situations (pretending to go to the bathroom or walk to another room) to "shake" out my anxiety. I flap my hands around and lift my shoulders as if I'm trying to get a chill out of my body. It feels SO GOOD and kind of resets my tolerance for stimuli.

[@kerryholland4822]

Really great effort from Paddy to understand and realise how stressful it is. He had missed things, but wasn't defensive and really working out what is going on for his kids on a deeper level. Great parents!

[@G3n3vaL3st3r]

I wasn’t diagnosed until my 30’s. I’ve felt like an alien my entire life but thought that’s how everyone was. I use to study tv shows and mimic them.

[@customspoons]

It wasn't until yesterday when my daughter was diagnosed with autism, that I realised why I have struggled for 47yrs. I need to have a diagnosis although I already know the result.

[@nousernamefound.7]

No you don’t. You don’t know that you’re autistic because you’re not a doctor. Stop forcing yourself into a community that you’re not a part of.

[@Beekind799]

drink 500ml volvic mineral daily for a month and let me know if you still have autism

[@mariae321]

My daughter wasn't diagnosed until she was 24. We knew she had struggled but it became a real issue when she started high school. We thought she was painfully shy. This is what we were told and socially awkward and painfully shy. She had meltdowns at home we didn't know why.

[@thebrummierailenthusiasts5329]

My autism diagnosis happened suddenly out of the blue after my 4th birthday in October 2001 but luckily my speech had approved so that means I’m now 26 years old and this year is my 22nd anniversary since my diagnosis was discovered

[@Beekind799]

drink 500ml volvic mineral water daily for a month and let me know if you still have autism,only volvic mineral water,nothing else

[@theworthysoul]

@@Beekind799ah yes, the 100% legit cure to autism, mineral water 😂

[@fredchowdhury9329]

Wake up moment for this Paddy guy

[@haydenwinfield5397]

I'm Male I Have Autism I Was Diagnosed With Autism At Age 14 I'm 28 Years Old Now Iv'e Been Living Interdependently On My Own For 3 Years So Far I'm From The Uk United Kingdom

[@chapel976]

Will this series be available in the US? This is great visibility for our community.

[@chapel976]

yikes... we don't need to heal autism. it's not a disease or a sickness... it's who we are.

[@iandouglas451]

paddy, i hope you see this, what a star you are, i'm full of admiration, glad you made the video, it has helped me out.

[@LaliaX99]

Having a meltdown at home sometimes can’t happen, who’s around you etc isn’t nice, you’ve got other priorities like seeing if your mum isn’t passed out of the sofa

[@kensears5099]

Autism is a life without "correspondences." What does that mean? Masking is a pretence of correspondences, a performance both within and without, i.e., viscerally and visibly, the sincere attempt to convince oneself, first, and then everybody else that the parameters, outlines, patterns and cues of the social-psychoemotional dance are intrinsic to one's own being, that the correspondence is a precise one-to-one, an exact fit, a perfect match. The energy this performance requires is titanic. The cognitive, emotional and visceral costs are shattering. An immediate cost manifests in exhaustion. Perhaps not physical exhaustion, especially in younger years when a hardier stamina can be fallen back on if one is lucky. But even in younger years the mental exhaustion regularly demands its "pound of flesh" for the abuse to the psyche that masking really is. How many times I recall reaching the end of my socio-emotional capacity and simply shutting down, on a few occasions at the most awkward times when by all rights I was expected to be present, charming, engaging, hospitable, but there was just nothing left to draw on and I had to excuse myself. You can't get blood from a stone.

[@Awesomeautisticgirl]

I was diagnosed with autism at 28. I have been assessed for Personal Independence Payment three times during my adult life and been denied it. I watched this documentary on the day it was broadcast and I thought the reason why they denied me PIP was because throughout the assessment back in early January this year I must of been masking throughout the assessment.

[@sarahstudies8149]

I think if you have evidence that you are disabled (just having a diagnosis) then that should be enough to be entitled to PIP. The process, from what I have heard, is degrading, ableist and traumatic for any disabled person.

[@Awesomeautisticgirl]

@@sarahstudies8149 EXACTLY! I even submitted evidence for my tribunal hearing of what it’s like having meltdowns and facing discrimination whilst volunteering at the British Heart Foundation. So far I’ve faced four unruly customers this month, all because they didn’t know that I have autism.

[@sarahstudies8149]

@Joice Omo Impossible

[@QueenKennaofStormholt]

@@sarahstudies8149 you heard correctly. It's inhumane.

[@sarahstudies8149]

@@QueenKennaofStormholt It's not right... I am getting disabled students allowance because my study costs are greater due to being autistic and having ADHD and all I needed to do was fill in a form, send in evidence and that was enough. They only pay you for what you need but that's totally okay. My cost of living is also higher anyway due to having a disability and this is what PIP is for. I'm just too scared to apply myself because of all the horror stories I've heard and that's from literally every single disabled person. Breaks my heart :(

[@tomwotton9]

Strange seeing the two people conducting the interview arguing live, especially when it’s about there own child.

[@ScottMosier12345]

My wife and I will discuss how we perceive our autistic child's behavior (or either of our other children's behavior). Just because you both see it does not mean you think of it the same way.

[@tomwotton9]

@@ScottMosier12345 That’s true, I suppose I was thinking more from a TV perspective where everything is so scripted and edited that it’s rare to see two people guinuinly surprised by each other’s answers. Especially a “celebrity” couple like Paddy and his wife.

[@michaelreddington658]

I think it’s good that this kind of realism is shown.

[@susanjackett9268]

I just hope the child talked of wasn't the beautiful girl in the room, how embarrassing is that!

[@tinyfreckle]

Its because the mum is also autistic so she understands from personal experience.

[@OffGridInvestor]

"She mimics behaviour" "But that's not masking." They explained less than 20 seconds ago that that WAS what masking is.

[@louiejonesponation]

I was diagnosed with autism at the age of 2, only found out about it until I was aged 6-8. When I was in Recpetion & Year 1, I was abused by staff and bullied by students. It was until I was in Year 3 to Year 4 where I began masking, and now I'm forced to mask I feel. I feel like I can't go back to my old self, I'm forced to mask.

[@lechenaultia5863]

Yet again.....adults discussing children's difficulties in front of them

[@LaliaX99]

Anxiety can be worse throughout the day from the start even before you go to bed the before…

[@ChrisJohn-dg8mz]

Glutathione is a redox buffer that regulates ATP production in the mitochondria. I have been using liposomal glutathione for about 20 months now. I "suck" 2 - 4ml in the morning and I find that my REM sleep is greatly improved. I awaken after 7 - 8 hours of nutritious sleep, usually after an imaginative dream. This makes me less "autistic". My brain feels more creative and energetic. I talk to people!!! I'm trying to spread the word, I want people to study this simple treatment further.

[@hiiloveu1521]

I'm in for a ride for a project about BBC, wish me luck

[@turtleboy991]

Masking sucks. Wow, that can be taken out of context easily, but yeah. It sucks

[@Beekind799]

drink 500ml daily volvic mineral water for a month and let me know if you still have autism .only volvic mineral water,its the silica

[@Crusader5185]

seeing paddy mcguinness so serious after watching Top Gear is just unnatural

[@peznino1]

I'm confused because I'm not autistic yet these masking behaviours seem very familiar to me.

[@marton349]

Christine is a goddess

[@mariannehavisham8323]

She's just a human

[@marionprice6295]

Hope they sort out there difference s❤

[@marionprice6295]

Are they ok now❤

[@frankiemia]

No, divorced.

[@LaliaX99]

I mask too much hence why I don’t have proper autism diagnosis, been diagnosed with BPD instead… psychosis

[@thomjer5276]

I'm 54 have been diagnosed 20 years and have a son at 28 who's been diagnosed 23 years of his 28. I have to say that celebrities all of a sudden getting an autistic diagnosis then suddenly becoming experts is irritating to say the least, even now many ordinary working families, some much less better off are struggling to get diagnosis, help and support for their girls and or boys. And, to add I have been masking for most of my diagnosis..

[@thehermit6198]

Grow a pair of balls and man up no such thing as autism. Stay in Iraq for one month you soon will learn to appreciate being normal.

[@Beekind799]

drink 500ml volvic mineral water daily for a month and let me know if you still have autism,only volvic mineral water

[@DemonaLlama]

It’s exhausting

[@FloweijFR]

Me when BBC isnt about Bbc: 😢😔

[@corrigana1]

My autism wasnot diagnosis until 2018

[@OffGridInvestor]

There's a pile of us diagnosed later in life. I was suspected as a teen but after like 3 minutes into the test, they decided me answers didn't sound crazy enough so they ended the test. The thing is..... it was still there. Found out I'm high functioning with a few of the symptoms age 42. Would've been nicer to know 25 years ago because that's 25 years of fumbling without help, not knowing why I never fit in.

[@marionprice6295]

Paddy and Christine have split up

[@PhilipMurphyExtra]

Well things like COVID19 Passes and Face covering could cause affects to these with Autism too.

[@killermcmurderer6707]

What do you mean by this

[@lillythesoggynuggetcat6827]

What's that supposed to mean

[@thesilverblack708]

As someone who is autistic. I found more comfort in wearing a mask. It meant I didn't have to put a happy face for Neurotypicals.

[@lillythesoggynuggetcat6827]

@@thesilverblack708 ah ok yea that makes sense, I do the same

[@user-ee8ux5hg8e]

Hide those time little hands anxious man

[@galwaygirl8131]

I feel for Paddy massively. She is just not the right fit for him. He is allot more emotional and you can tell he's come from a loving family. I hope he finds happiness with the right person. He deserves it

[@natashaing4999]

What she posts on social media is unpleasant too

[@thisisnotme7017]

he does. he is better off without her

[@trancemadmaz]

​@@natashaing4999 What did she post that was unpleasant?

[@forproject1666]

you have to remember Christine is autistic

[@forproject1666]

​@@thisisnotme7017you have to remember Christine is autistic. you can't fault her without knowing the full story

[@danny-bh8wo]

Why would paddy be stupid and cheat on this gorgeous woman great body

[@natashaing4999]

She’s had surgery though

[@buyingmilk]

Maybe it was the personality? Though I don't think that justifys cheating

[@mariannehavisham8323]

Because if she didn't have a great body infidelity would be fine? Can we stop objectifying women please?

[@vengarlof7033]

Autism is going to get over diagnosed. I’m not saying that is either good or bad, but it had happened with adhd and it will happen with autism.

[@GenericGooner]

Ultimately autism is a very human disorder of which everyone is on ‘the spectrum’, just there are those of us further along it. And the understanding of it has improved vastly to the point more people are diagnosed with it who wouldn’t have been years ago. Doesn’t change that person fundamentally. I got a diagnosis at the age of 38, and all that did was give me closure on aspects of my life I had always wondered about. I still live my life exactly the same, I just understand myself better

[@frosty818]

Even if it were at least with a diagnosis of autism you are more likely to get more help with intervention then it’s easier to see if there are those difficulties or not. It’s always good to get that help earlier then it’s easier to spot but unfortunately it’s hard to get assessed without help and it’s hard to get a diagnosis without being assessed it’s awful but no matter what children should all go through these assessments so parents don’t have to wait and see down the line if their is a an issue

[@opaque1797]

@@GenericGooner everyone is not "on the spectrum" , that's nonsense

[@TheCommunistGamerTV]

@@GenericGooner Wrong. Just wrong. Opaque might be diplomatic about this, but I won't be. Imagine being the person spreading misinformation that belittles their own disability... Educate yourself. Jesus...

[@scarred10]

@@opaque1797 on the spectrum of normality to completely disabled certainly but few are autism spectrum disorder.

[@chewbaccaabduljabbar]

imagine punching above your weight.?

[@mrgeoffreyspatchcock4825]

Exploiting*

[@soundhead6971]

No likely no wifey. !

[@SimonDefra]

Half of this stuff is nonsense

[@mitchelljack1590]

Don’t all humans mask?

[@berthaantoinettamason9207]

I think masking is acting instead of it being natural automatically.

[@Rosie-gd2mn]

maybe think if you’re masking..

[@joosephzoostarakajoozoo879]

Carl Jung is probably having a wet dream rn thinking about this. Look up the Jungian Psychology model of Personas. It's basically this concept lol

[@wizzgamer]

Only on Halloween 🎃

[@galwaygirl8131]

I was thinking the same. Children behave different in different settings.

[@UPsideDOWNworld321]

They need shrooms

[@neo-babylon7872]

Didn't do shrooms. Acid does help a tiny bit but the effect completely wears off after a few days. What I personally need is more understanding.

[@Spikey100000]

Okay I’m glad they’re talking about this and that this is teaching people about autism but why on Earth are they bringing gender into it? The idea ‘boys are more obvious’ and ‘girls try to fit in more’ is dated and subjective. It may be the case here sure but it’s not always that black and white.

[@BD-vu9bv]

Since they have first-hand experience of autism, I'd listen to their opinions before yours.

[@thesupergreenjudy]

Autism is more often diagnosed in boys than in girls, that's a fact. So yes, it's to do with gender. One of the reasons is that girls are more likely to hide it because of the expectations put on them eg. to be more agreeable and empathetic and to not be socially awkward, to be better communicators. It happens with many other neurodiverse conditions as well for example ADHD. That doesn't mean that boys don't ever mask, it's just more prevelant in girls. I have ADHD and my (often female) teachers took a great deal of time to tell me that girls shouldn't behave like I did. This is not to downplay what boys go through, it's just an observation. So if we mask (boy or girl) we look like we function well but what's going on inside is excruciating anxiety while we are doing it.

[@deathbunny8322]

@@BD-vu9bv Exactly, people need to understand sometimes certain things do play part in certain situations. Listening to people who have experiences this with their actual situations allows us to see this first hand.

[@Spikey100000]

@@BD-vu9bv but… I’m autistic? That was a pretty presumptuous response

[@keep7smiling]

It's kinda funny how you wanna steer away from generalizations and then use the word "generally" 🤣 Also yes, things rarely ever are black and white.

[@AlisonWarburton-qy8pl]

Autism was unheard of as was adhd etc. A lot of my friends have had their kids diagnosed with it. All of my friends have one thing in common the kids have no discipline no boundaries and are spoilt rotten. They use autism as a label and attention seeking. It makes my blood boil

[@OffGridInvestor]

You're 100% the typical case of people that have NO concept of how this is a mental disorder. You can't ACTUALLY control mental disorders, that's why they're "dis-order" not a behavioural issue. People with little experience ALWAYS claim its a discipline issue. Try getting drunk out of your brain and then convincing the arresting cop you're not drunk. THAT'S what it's like to live with a mental disorder. And then you have someone else on the sidelines saying they're not drunk, they're just acting. The only difference is that some learn to mask in the same way alcoholics learn to hide their drunkenness. And it gets better with age because they learn to control it better, just like long term alcoholics learn to hide it better.

[@Dim4323]

No likey

[@kendallbald]

What

[@jasonkelly2173]

NO lighty

[@zangomuncher]

Most people on a daily basis learn behaviour from other people that's absolutely normal. That's how babies learn, they watch their mothers face. The BBC need to try a bit harder with this stuff. Feels more like a cash grab than an actual informative thing. I'm literally not the same as I am in work. I call that my mask. Been saying it way before this lot talked about masking. It's absolutely normal to hide some of your features of your personality to help get onninna social circle. People do I all the time and I do not think they are all autistic.

[@GenericGooner]

It’s not the same kind of masking. I think you need to be autistic to truly understand exactly what’s going on in our heads and even then it’s not a catch all for every person anyway. Saying people act differently in different circles as a way of dismissing autistic masking is like saying ‘well I forget things all the time’ to dismiss Altzeimers.

[@reneewalters2013]

@@GenericGooner I know right. Theres a difference between autistic masking and neurotypical (which means non-autistic) adapting to your environment, or code switching. Autism Masking is NOT adapting to your social environment, but making it look like you are. One is mentally draining ,the other isnt.

[@reneewalters2013]

@@GenericGooner We're coping with our environment, not adapting.

[@khalekichambo1131]

Until you have an autistic child you'll know what that conversation was about

[@frosty818]

@@GenericGooner nicely put i am autistic myself and have a son who is non verbal autistic I mask a lot and mirror those around me to fit in and I can’t help it but when I get home I get so upset because I feel I’ve been hiding myself away all day because I don’t feel I ever fit in but somewhere in my head I will wake up and do it all over again it’s like a form of survival but comes with a price later I say it’s like a vase and every time you mask the vase fills with more and more water until you do it so much it overflows with water and when this overflow happens your mood can plummet and meltdowns are never far behind

[@reptreptilian]

1:10 - Paddy farts.

[@MatteoFitness]

OOORRRR they just have no interest in connecting.....

[@sandrarichardson4639]

@Sir frunk mc":corbean™©®

[@choicesman2000]

these two should just go away

[@Granto-ni9qw]

Can't stand the pair of them in any way find her just a total joke ,, like when she was on the dancein show she did not like people looking at her ,, must be Y ?? She got her boobs made bigger , she nos everything she is doing very clever at playing thick

[@Josh-wu7kz]

These women are completely passive aggressive with their agenda.

[@hwren9845]

Okay incel lol

[@forproject1666]

this isn't an agenda, it's backed by science look up girls with autism

[@mariannehavisham8323]

What agenda?

[@stephen_101]

Looks like Paddy has had a lucky escape

[@tim46153]

He did… no disrespect to them but what does she bring to the table apart from “looks”. Even when her grandmother dies she’s putting poses of bikini photos online. Must be a absolute headache to live with.

[@natashaing4999]

@@tim46153 that’s my one slight dislike about Christine, she’s foolish in the fact she posts images like that, and the hair dye and boob surgery doesn’t do her any favours 😏

[@forproject1666]

this is a horrible comment. how was his ex wife guilty? y'all don't even know the full story.

[@forproject1666]

​​@@tim46153isn't she(the ex wife) autistic? why are you looking and judging her based on neurotypical standards. she has difficulty understanding social cues and you should understand that maybe she didn't even know what typical people would judge her For.

[@carolinejohnson22]

The Victorians knew the cure for Autism, but because of modern medicine it has been forgotten. I saw a TV programme about it 13 years ago and watched it because my friend's 28 year old son has it. However, it has to be cured when they are children. I wish l could remember the programme name or channel. I live in the same village as Paddy McGuiness and his wife. A big industry has popped up around autism preventing the natural cure and it's a pity.....

[@ravecrab]

So it's been forgotten so completely you watched a TV show about it.

[@robokill387]

There is no cure for autism because it's not a disease to begin with.

[@sunxbloom_]

I’m sure autism doesn’t have a cure, it’s not a disease. If i’m wrong please correct me as I’m still learning about it after by diagnosis in feb 2022.

[@neillaurenson1270]

Autism isn't a disease and it can't be cured. It's neurological condition (i.e. differently-wired brain) that someone is born with and dies with. It's a pity that you and others are spreading such ignorant and damaging information. That 'big industry' you mentioned is actually belated and potentially life-saving awareness. I think the Victorians would have called this 'progress', but what do I know - I'm just autistic.

[@andrebennett1596]

​@@sunxbloom_autism is a mixture of unchecked proclivity and lack of understanding of social norms

[@foo_tube]

And yet at 1:55 the little daughter appears and climbs into her mom's lap in a display of emotional closeness? I dunno... are we all autistic now? Are we all 'masking' to hide our inner social anxiety? When I was growing up, this was called 'introversion'.

[@neillaurenson1270]

'Are we all autistic now?' No, no, and no. Such a question belittles the genuine struggles that many actually autistic people endure. I suggest watching these KZbin channels: Autism from the Inside; YoSamdySam; Hunter Hansen; Foster on the Spectrum; I'm Autistic, Now What?

[@DM-it1qf]

Autistic people feel too many emotions.

[@shadowfinder1979]

What a load of nonsense, it's called attention seeking or bad parenting. Simple as that

[@tezlatower2362]

Uh, no.

[@forproject1666]

can tell you don't even watch the documentary

[@theworthysoul]

Considering I have autism yet relate to neither of those… you’re wrong. :)