What is it like to date an ISTP?! An ISTPs take on dating, romance & flirting ft. Ron

Ron talks about the dating life of ISTPs.
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#ISTP #16types #mbti

[@sylviaowega3839]

As an INTP whom has an ISTP daughter, I can say that we are two of the lowest maintenance of all the 16 MBTI types.

[@h00liaa]

i'm an ENFJ who recently found out an ISTP likes me back! this seems very true of him, he will just quietly hold me for hours while i laugh hysterically over something we're watching. i get worried because he isn't very expressive at all, but i keep reminding myself that just because he isn't flamboyant & showy with it doesn't mean he doesn't care about me. this video was really insightful thank u :)

[@m2pozad]

Is 'boring' a potential future issue?

[@h00liaa]

@@m2pozad it's too early to call anything but i don't think so, i tend to gravitate toward the quiet, smart types that can give me stability. nerds if u will haha

[@mirinae_]

@juliazhan I’ve been with and ISTP for 11 years and still I sometimes wonder if things are ok between us because he doesn’t express his feelings often or do stuff to make me feel important. But it seems that in his mind it’s like ”well she already knows what she means to me” and I’m like ”how am I gonna know if you don’t tell me”. 😂

[@h00liaa]

@@mirinae_ aww omg! do u know what his love language is? seems like words of affirmation aren't a strong suit for many ISTPs

[@h00liaa]

@@braxtonmills1235 im doing well thank u! i used to think that way too but i highly recommend learning abt the 5 love languages. words of affirmation aren't my love language so i'm okay that it's not his focus either, some people use words & others use different methods to express their love & it's all valid!

[@RetroXRicardo]

I have only a few ISTP friends. Maybe I scare them off as an ESFJ lol. But I swear, all my ISTP male acquaintances that I know have the same facial structures and features as this man! In the Education field, I don't know many ISTP colleagues. And if they are in the school board, they are either working in tech support, or as high school teachers working in the shop and tech courses! Great video! 👏👏👏

[@sylviaowega3839]

I wonder if my ISTP daughter would have that same facial structure. Lol

[@sylviaowega3839]

I find it interesting that you say such, knowing that as a female INTP, I to to scare off a lot of ESFJ’s.

[@RetroXRicardo]

@Sylvia Owega I only know 2 INTP people who know themselves as INTP. I had a really good INTP friend, but we grew distant. There is one new INTP guy who I know is shy around me, but he communicates with me alot online for conversation. I don't know too many INTP females yet...

[@sylviaowega3839]

@@RetroXRicardo Interesting. I know that duo personalities (their opposites) are always very intriguing, especially since they provide is mysteries to solve and learn. The great tragedy is that over a period over a period ls time, those extreme differences tend to be exhausting and annoying for many; and you are very open minded and very intelligent. I did of one successful ESFJ + INTP marriage, so there’s still that light in the tunnel. When I moved to a new town, this one female ESFJ befriended me, know we were both new newbies and few friends, a potential covert to her religious faith and found me intriguing. Sadly after about a year she decided to dump me as a friend, because a) she had a bunch of new friends that she could hang out with; b) she didn’t succeed in converting me to her religious faith; c) she found me far too intense; d) she always felt embarrassed by my social awkwardness; e) she thought of being sometimes to cold and arrogant. I the INTP was the one that really winded up being hurt, as I had a true sense of loyalty, and had no other friend. I was willing to accept her own personality differences, but couldn’t accept me; and even understand me, so this is why my small circle of comprise mostly of other INTP’s and INTJ’s, and INFJ, in which we often engage in intellectual-type conversations. Anyways, hopefully personal biases will be proven wrong.

[@RetroXRicardo]

@Sylvia Owega Wow. Thank you for sharing your story. So sorry that your ESFJ made you feel that way and assumed the worst. We as EJ and IP are people related, so we truly value how we are to society and to our own identity. When that's compromised, it's definitely hurtful and hits the ego hard. I also know some couples who are ESFJ and INTP marriages that are doing very well. It seems these couples are more aware of their interior functions and know how to use them in a healthy way. Thanks for engaging in this conversation. I enjoyed and learned alot from you 🤗

[@kymdelmar9304]

Being married to an ISTP I agree with much of what you said about his motivation and relaxed state

[@annaynely]

Just love how these new gens of istps are improving

[@BombshElle_7]

I want to date an ISTP.--INTJ.

[@lilac624]

My crush seems to be an ISTP.

[@deborat]

Definitely my favourite type out there! So chilled.

[@PowerRedBullTypology]

I would say that Fe doms tend to be people who easily touch others as a sign of affection. It would not surprise me if Ti doms like physical touch because their opposites (Fe) tend to easily give physical touch, just as the love language of Fe doms might be something Ti doms naturally just tend to do.

[@JessBritvec]

You know I feel like people reach down to their inferior function when they are with a partner. I (ISTP) will get more Fe towards the other person and check in emotionally, and I've seen Se doms brave the Ni darkness to protect or improve the other's life and Ne doms constantly asking if their partner is hot or cold, thirsty or hungry, or want something to change in their environment. This is limited to my experience, but I do think it revolves around the inferior function rather than trying to directly fulfill the partner's wants/needs. I haven't noticed ENFJs and ESFJs doing this though, I'm not sure if Ti just doesn't raise alarms for me or if I only notice when there is a disparity between what I want and what the other person is giving, or if no EFJs genuinely liked me. 😂I do notice them using lots of physical touch to express affection, even ENFJs with tertiary sensing can communicate well physically, but Fe doms might just give more freely in general. I've seen the same individuals give a lot using most of the love languages, not specifically physical touch, I think the main thing for them is that things are reciprocated and mutually beneficial and they might adapt to their partner. I do think I want to communicate with people physically, touching or not, partner or not, because I live in a Se world. When I want to know someone better, Se is a language I understand and use to understand others. I'm not sure if I could recognize if I subconsciously liked physical touch because Fe doms give a lot of it, but I don't feel like thats why I prefer that type of communication.

[@EyeHeartSUSHI]

Enfj subconscious activated at 3:20

[@ashlianna500]

Very good! FM Enfp married to an MF ISTP for 10 years together for 12. My ISTP is very extroverted (He's CPBS) but here are some overlaps I heard from this video. 1) ISTP men are low maintenance and don't need very much stuff 2) Physical touch is very important to ISTP men- yes and this is one of the reasons I think my hubby and I are such a good match. My love language is touch and that's how I show love so that has worked super well for us. 3) ISTP men need a reason to do things. So, so true. It has to make sense to THEM, too. If it doesn't good luck. Great interview. I love my ISTP.

[@sylviaowega3839]

True, and also ISTP’s like most sensors aren’t true introverts, but mainly extroverts whom have some sort of anxiety issues and socially anxious. My ISTP oldest daughter always struggles with social anxiety, but yet she has her large group of friends and boyfriend she hangs out with; and all can talk a storm.

[@ashlianna500]

@@deeznuts7061 My husband would be there in a flash for an event like that. Are there times when in the small details of life he feels inconvenienced by my requests? Of course. But never for something important such as an accident. Additionally, if you are with an ISTP who has worked even a little bit on their inferior function all it takes to move them is letting them know you care about something for them to care, too. You just have to give their Ti time to process.

[@sylviaowega3839]

@@deeznuts7061 I know my ISTP daughter hates asking her boyfriend for things

[@eleura3584]

​@@sylviaowega3839do ISTP male test you before committing to a relationship like if you're gonna stay or move on? Like istp is being detached and they wanna see how long you're gonna stay for them?

[@JessBritvec]

I'm pretty much the same as Ron on all accounts.

[@kman55w]

Sheesh. 😂 - ISTP If you know you know.

[@WriteTheTruth]

How would he know what it's like to date him. 😂

[@j_vh]

I have a question for istp, what we should do for pick up this kind of person? I heard about practical gift, how about touching u said u do it, it’s needed thing how about being touched? Hugs for saying thank you it’s fine?

[@molotov-zz6rm]

little late but im an istp As far as gifts go, try and give them something small that will remind them of you. like a watch or a bracelet or something like that. something they can touch and think of you. bonus points if it already belonged to you. As you mentioned physical touch is also important. you don't have to go for a hug straight away, even a small touch on the arm during conversation could give them butterflies.

[@m2pozad]

I have serious reservations about younger males, say under 30, having 'touch' as a developed love language. Testosterone and immaturity almost exclude the option.

[@RonFlux]

I can just tell from my experience. The women I fell in love with were usually the ones that hugged me cheerfully. The dates where we were only talking, felt like we were far away from each other and I didn't feel I could open up to them. Something was missing. Not sure what you are thinking about, but a touch on the shoulder, hugs, holding hands makes you feel closer. Touch doesn't need to be on the first date, but a relationship between a man and woman will involve touch sooner or later. If you are interested in each other, why hold it back? I know, some had bad experiences, but if that guy is a keeper, you can just tell them that you are not ready yet. He will listen. If not, you know that he is not worth your time.

[@m2pozad]

@@RonFlux Yes things can get complex quickly here. To the point where, we may not be talking at all about love when talking about dating. With even the definition of, ‘love language’, being at play. So rather than getting lost in whether there is any actual love present in a so-called romantic relationship, I’ll just quote from the title of the book that got it all started- ‘The Five Love Languages: How to Express Heartfelt Commitment to Your Mate’, is a 1992 book by Gary Chapman.

[@braxtonmills1235]

@@m2pozad Thank you for having intelligence. Want to be friends :)

[@INFP5w4]

I wonder what Epstein's love language was?