What is Sugar Dating? (Sugar Daddy) | MacKenzie Lueck Murder Case

[@monicapyle]

Prostitution has always been dangerous. No matter what you call it.

[@amelianannette972]

The question is why, though. Sex workers have been targeted by many killers not because of the dangerous nature of sex work, but because of societal views on their jobs. Also, it would be a lot less dangerous if it were decriminalized and regulated, according to research and sex workers themselves.

[@naomiesther9861]

@@amelianannette972 Decriminalization of sex work is better than legalisation or the absurd Nordic model

[@Fcreceptor]

Amelia Nannette it’s also because they have no relationship with the perpetrator. That helps minimize the perpetrator getting caught. Plus a lot of killers are sexually driven in a sadistic manner.

[@amelianannette972]

@@Fcreceptor I did not mean to say that sex work has no inherent risk, but rather that a large part of the risk is because of society's views on sex workers. Sorry if I miscommunicated that :)

[@evelynwaugh4053]

@@amelianannette972 I don't think serial killers pick prostitutes because they share societal values, or were too thoroughly inculcated in social norms, although probably some rationalize that they are `cleaning up the streets'. Like most predators they use whatever assets they have access to to lure their targets, or to surprise their targets in an area where the victim is isolated, and to obfuscate an investigation. SK truckers have focused on runaways, SK photographers have focused on aspiring models, SK contractors have lured victims with the promise of construction jobs, Bundy often posed as an incapacitated, helpless man in need of help loading furniture into his car, want ads are another frequent means of attracting victims. Picking victims who may not immediately be reported missing, like runaways or prostitutes also helps the SK delay authorities looking for the missing person, a huge advantage as investigations of months' old crimes are less effective as witnesses move and can't be located and physical evidence deteriorates. Game poachers use night spotlighting, putting out delectable feed (alfalfa for deer, pastries for bear), trail cameras, etc. Same idea- if the SK knows what will motivate the desired victims and provides it, he has a better chance of winning the victim's trust long enough to separate the victim from help. Prostitution is legal in Nevada. But that still doesn't necessarily make it a wise career choice for the population Dr. Grande was discussing ( Hysterical, Borderline, Psychopathic traits or PDs). While the physical danger has been lessened it is still a toxic work environment, I would argue (as are many vocations) which is likely to provide further "evidence" of the individuals' lesser worth and continue to erode their sense of their own value. Nightshift convenience store workers and bank tellers are targeted by robbers, which is opportunism, not a reflection on societal values.

[@jimboy419]

I like how you are careful about qualifying everything you say. It's a good skill to have.

[@kallie9229]

The way Dr grande says sugar baby and sugar daddy looks like hes just about done.

[@abigailbp9294]

As someone who has experienced this firsthand...you ABSOLUTELY nailed it with your analysis Dr Grande. Thank you for being the voice of reason

[@ananimity7332]

This behavior is highly dangerous, especially meeting someone at 3am. I'm sorry to hear of the death of the young lady as it's truly sad. I've been on dates, to meet and not for money, and some of the men I met told me I was "old fashioned" because I have morals. I've had people tell me I should let go of morals as they don't fit in today's society. No thank you! I value myself and my morals and I'd rather keep them and be the person I am.

[@slundgr]

Listen to your little voice, especially when/if it tells you something is not right. Be true to yourself. As I have told my sons, not much good happens after midnight.

[@ReayTraynor]

Good for you, Ana.

[@redpillsatori3020]

Is this like a weird, roundabout way of you saying “Look at me! I’m not like other women!”

[@ReayTraynor]

I wish I had done the same. I started off that way.

[@SoftNoise98]

People engaging in a promiscuous sexual relationship based on equal grounds is no less moral as the "old fashion" you might mean here. It's good that you have your moral compass guiding you to make decisions comfortable for you, but your moral compass is not universal. Equality, on the other hand, is pretty much one-size-fits-all morals.

[@toasted_.coconut]

Its sad that this young lady saw no red flags --- who arranges a date in a dark park at 3am, "Sugar Daddy" or not thats just isnt safe.

[@eliezeretecap]

"Who arranges a date in a dark park at 3am?" Only a prostitute would expose herself to a situation like that.

[@slundgr]

She may have seen the red flags and charged right ahead, or was so focused on the objective she could not see them. No one thinking logically would put themselves in such a situation.

[@PlsWaLuigiDomMe]

Eliezer lots of women claiming to be sugar babies are just escorts. It's incredibly disingenuous because they paint it as so kuch more innocent than it truely is. The ones who are making the most money are doing the worst stuff

[@ven0IVI]

Most crimes, statistically, happen between 9:30pm and 6:30am

[@phoenixzappa7366]

A greedy one.

[@JJ-nn9de]

This girl went to my school. The park she met the guy at is a 3 minute walk from my house. I see several comments saying that she met a man she didn't "know" at 3am. If you look into the case, she actually had been hanging out with this man at his house, even posting images at his house on social media for at least two or three months. So I think she did feel as if she "knew" him. Sugar daddy business aside, if I have been to someones house several times over a two or three month period, I'm not exactly expecting to get murdered regardless of what time I meet them. I felt bad for her when I found out that her remains were discovered and I feel bad for her now. Poor girl probably thought she was going to hangout with this guy again as they had before and it ended with her death. Awful.

[@isthisjustfantasy7557]

What's really disturbing is how many comments on here are focused on criticising the victim for her risky behaviour rather than criticising the total PSYCHOPATH who took her life. What he did is a million times worse than what she did yet more people are critical of *her.* Victim blamers are scum, they only value people's lives if they're perfect angelic victims and it's sickening. People makes mistakes, bad choices and take risks - that does NOT make them less of a victim, it makes them human. I wish her family well, what happened to her is awful and she was so young. She should have had years to realise she could live her life in a better way and decades to improve, learn, change and become who she really wanted to be (if she wasn't already) very sad.

[@JJ-nn9de]

@@isthisjustfantasy7557 I totally agree. The victim blaming is sickening. Even if a person is exchanging sex for money, that doesn't mean they deserve to be hurt , degraded, or die.

[@Earlybird86]

@@isthisjustfantasy7557 your sentiment is silly from my perspective because he was a violent psychopath. Criticizing him would have no effect as he was a nut job. The victim on the other hand was a rational human being who chose to put herself in this situation.

[@JJ-nn9de]

@@Earlybird86 People generally aren't aware that they are dealing with psychopaths. That is often how murderers lure in victims. They build trust before they strike. Think about Dahmer, Bundy- they reeled in their victims by being charismatic, charming, etc. A person can have hunches/vibes about others, but we can't 100% detect danger in all situation. You can finger point at the victim all you want, but it's misplaced.

[@gabe-po9yi]

@@Earlybird86 If the victim had known she was dealing with a violent psychopath, it’s likely her choices would’ve been different.

[@PokeMommaAndMini]

I like when Todd says sugar daddy. 😂😂

[@351cleavland]

He needs to include that phrase at least once in EVERY video!

[@octoberskye1049]

@@351cleavland I didn't even know what Sugar Dating WAS! Am I naïve, or what? 🐯

[@PokeMommaAndMini]

nobody nowhere yeah it’s a real thing. I know lots of ppl who do it 😝

[@octoberskye1049]

@@PokeMommaAndMini Not my style. I'll just keep my job and pay my own bills. Might sound boring, but a helluva lot better than being murdered by some random stranger. 🐯

[@PokeMommaAndMini]

nobody nowhere nah that’s not boring. Stay safe! ❤️

[@rolandomeza7536]

Hello Dr. Grande I am a M.D from Honduras I work in a mental health institution your vídeos had made me understand better my patients. Thanks for your advices.

[@ven0IVI]

Wow! Honduras! 🦚🦧🐍 welcome 😊

[@dr.johnson5189]

3 AM, in the morning! Thanks for the clarification...jokes aside great work Dr. Grande, I love your channel

[@DrGrande]

Thank you 🙂

[@wbooker5723]

When I approached a former lover about if he was seeing prostitutes in other countries he was visiting. He said he did not buy prostitutes but hired travel assistants. I asked him if the have sex. He said,” if it happens.” I said he was then hiring prostitutes or whatever they are calling them these days.

[@bobsink624]

So you are saying Mackenzie Lueck, the sugar baby in this case is just a hooker?

[@kathrinjohnson2582]

" One rattlesnake is dangerous enough " 🐍🐍🐍 now you're a philosopher too!😆😆😆 Great video !!!!!!! You pick the most interesting topics!

[@DK-th5nt]

I have phobia of snakes and is someone would throw just one at me I would die from heart attack, it doesn'd even needs to be venomous xD

[@jnmsks6052]

His rattlesnake analogy cracked me up! 🤣🤣🤣

[@annelily1883]

Dr. Grande, your affect and delivery is PERFECTION. You’re so well-spoken, educated, and absolutely hilarious with the occasional, but cleverly placed jab. I love your videos!

[@megschmeedafamc]

Absolutely that contractor should have let law enforcement know of his odd request. Just because you’re not a “mandated reporter” doesn’t mean you should let odd or creepy things go! Totally agree. RIP MacKenzie Lueck

[@sarahvand3628]

Seriously wtf

[@ferjdtm]

I've been binge watching videos of serial killers and I cannot believe how many times the victims have been handed back to the killers by the police, how many lenient sentences the offenders received before becoming serial killers and overall how much the justice fails the victims. I do agree with you, this should have been reported by the contractor. However, I doubt this would have made that much of an impact on the killer's actions.

[@ladysmith7747]

I doubt if the police could have done anything about it. He could have called the police and let them know just to have a clean conscience but there isn´t much the police could have done about a creepy inquiry.

[@SeanK1684]

@@ladysmith7747 Soooo true...Plus a lot of us say what we woulda did ( including myself) after the fact...Thats where the sayin hindsight is 20/20 comes from...The contractor to himself was prolly like weirdo and went on bout his business, not thinkin much of it

[@shimmer8289]

I would say in his defense he knew right away he was a psychopath and wanted to keep his family and himself safe so he kept his mouth shut. Say the perp was questioned who would be on his hit list?

[@brittaolson6550]

Thank you so much for covering this! A lot of people seem to think that women in the sex industry deserve what they get. That’s a very biased and hateful response. I’m glad you don’t subscribe to that. I have been in the sex industry and I wasn’t much for sugar or other types of paid “dating” type experiences, because I saw that desire in all my stalker/unhinged type clients. A lot of how we find ourselves in the situation is that once we see someone has romantic intent, and they tell us they will pay more for us to entertain that idea, some girls think , “Good, I can get good tips from this guy.” But in my book that’s actually time to run in the other direction and let the guy know that’s never going to happen. He is never going to be your boyfriend, and this is all just for having fun & a good time, not for seeking personal relationships. But you can’t really do that with the sugar daddy situation as effectively as if you are working by the hour, for example. A lot of the sugar daddy/baby arrangement mimics dating, and it is hard to change the fact, such as ongoing (often unclear) social and intimate expectations, and a sense of having a personal bond. I have been stalked to the point of having to leave town or report, in the few sugar situations I tried. I am grateful to have survived it.

[@isthisjustfantasy7557]

Its so sad to see that Mackenzie seems to get more criticism for taking a risk than her killer does for being a disgusting piece of filth. Victim blaming is disgraceful. I think it makes people feel superior and safer. They think they're better than she was - they're a 'good' person who doesn't ever take risks, so it couldn't happen to them. That reinforces that they're safer. When in reality, they're scumbags and their false sense of security may well be the thing that makes THEM a victim one day. Their lack of humility is worrisome.

[@rpnct]

If I met a rando from Craigslist at 3 am in an empty place to buy an XBox or a TV people would probably say I should have known better.

[@bonzaibb12]

Really great video. So many young women would benefit from understanding this. The rich guy fantasy needs to be understood by young girls as fantasy. Most woman who end up married as well end up in unhappy emotionally abusive situations. The wealthy intelligent person always holds to much power.

[@redpillsatori3020]

Leona Rose ..since women have more power nowadays in sexual marketplace dynamics, and “family” court, does that mean they’re more abusive?

[@Alphacentauri819]

Unfortunately... there are guys who will pay for absurd things and young women want/need the $$. Prostitution is an old profession. You don’t usually see women paying for sex, they can generally get it easily for free...and in cases where they wouldn’t want it, $$ is compensation for something they wouldn’t normally want to do... much like most trash collectors or fast food restaurant workers don’t love their jobs. Women aren’t sex driven like men...but security driven (both biological) ... so aside from all the dangers, some see it as a pretty good exchange. I have known sugar babies.. and yes, it’s unwise and can screw up their emotional states. Many have already been used by men (raped etc) when they were actually trying to hangout with guys and money wasn’t the goal...so they have a distorted sense of self and relationships. Add to this our skewed culture/social media etc. They are given the message, on an exponential realm, that their sexiness is their value. It’s sad. There are men who will pay $400 dollars to lick feet for an hour... some who will fly a person to exotic places and just want dates and someone to talk to..and then there are the sexual favors. And the creepy dark ones, the girls say “no” to... there are naive girls, and then there are hustlers (who have systems for safety in place, trackers etc). Guys use and hustle women for sex...and women do it for $$... both are a sad part of society.

[@abitch7200]

LOL, so unfair to man too

[@FinalBossWTMN]

These young women aren't fantasizing about some dreamy rich guy.....they just want a free ride.

[@catherinewilson9894]

Men who actively seek out rich women to take care of them and mooch off of really need to stop having fantasies of romance with these women! It's really sad because they are used as toys by these more mature and accomplished women and end up with broken hearts. A sugar daddy/baby relationship is obviously transactional so I would think both parties would realize this so idk why any woman who actually wants to fall in love with a rich man would go that route!

[@rightnow5839]

👍🏻 Dr. Grande you have a good moral compass 🧭! 💕 💗 ❤️

[@pocoeagle2]

He does and he's high in conscientiousness on the FFM. That's what I like about Dr. Grande.

[@DrGrande]

@Kimberly Smith - That is such a kind thing to say - thank you!

[@loveself6396]

He’s just broke

[@JessBlake2]

@@DrGrande, I don't think it has anything to do with morality. Seems to me you didn't account for how prohibition has a major impact on how and why these arrangements are forced to be enacted in a risky way. And I think this added to the stigma and marginalization of sex work in general.

[@earthlunatics9145]

@@JessBlake2 That’s because selling oneself isn’t work.

[@godstomper]

Who meets anyone at 3am in a park? Wheres the common sense?

[@Fcreceptor]

😂

[@godstomper]

@N Silva thats right. Money over logic

[@Fcreceptor]

Darwin plucks another one off the planet lol. “Hey baby, wanna meet me? Let’s meet at the park. Let’s plan for 3 am. I’ll be wearing a ski mask and carrying a handgun. Don’t worry baby, I’ll bring the rope and plastic too.”

[@MateDrinker33]

It gets even worse when knowledge of Utah geography enters the picture; I'm not saying that worse areas of the Salt Lake Valley don't exist, but did she really have to arrange for an outdoor meeting with someone she likey didn't know well to take place in northwest Salt Lake?

[@danielahoti4109]

@@Fcreceptor Your satirical comment made me laugh, but it's such a tragic matter.

[@GoogleAccount-oe9im]

I wish my counselor was as cool as Dr. TG

[@tarrenhunt]

Dr. Grande, this channel is a light in the darkness of the internet. May I request a video on the bystander effect?

[@blazefairchild465]

Great video , loved it. Very interesting topic, thank you for covering this Dr.Grande. Hopefully young women will see this is a high risk job that takes more time & effort than actually getting good grades and scholarships to fund their college education. 🌹

[@Idahoguy10157]

Meeting someone you don’t know at a park at 3 am is obviously dangerous. She was taking an obvious risk.

[@SaaBl-wr4te]

I've recently started seeking therapy and I recognized many of the points you've stated. I think its also fair to say part of the failed relationships that push girls to do this are the ones their fathers. Many sugar babies struggle with lack of father figures and get fooled by the illusion of "care" and temporary stability these men provide emotionally of financially. Please do a video of daddy issues.

[@mbear278]

Hearing Dr. Grande say the words "sugar daddy" seems so wrong lmao. Great video :)

[@tammylaronde8593]

It's heartbreaking how this young lady's life was cut short. Sugar baby or not, she was someone's daughter, sister, friend. She played a dangerous game, which sadly, led to her demise.

[@anna-birdretired8641]

I have a girlfriend who is in a long-term relationship with a sugar daddy of sorts...he takes her on amazing trips & vacations & business dinners, etc. but doesn't pay for her living or other expenses. She sacrifices her time working at her own business so she looses a lot of income being 'on call' for his invites but it's always on his schedule, catering to his wants & needs. She's also not a whole lot younger but there's definite wealth inequality there. She has said she wants/expects an engagement ring but so far (5 years later) that has not come up at all. If he was not wealthy, he would not be given a second look but she is stunning and spends a lot of resources to stay that way. Fascinating to observe but I just don't get it. Don't think I want to, either.

[@teresahowick5197]

Ann Hiller that must be so tough to watch your friend do this.

[@01SaltyWitch]

He's using her (until Mrs right, comes along) and she's dumb enough to stay. I hope she wakes up soon, because this man isn't going to marry her.

[@b52270]

He will NEVER marry her no matter what she looks like. He's getting everything he needs without commitment. He's just renting a girlfriend for his trips.

[@rgrateful]

Shes a Doll to him, shes being used, and she better watch out for her mental health(soul-ties) and physical health, risk of Std's...

[@schoolwork232]

all that you ladies are saying is more than right. Why buy the cow when you can milk it already? Why we women never get this baffles me to this day!

[@octoberskye1049]

Yet another *really* bad idea explained in a very interesting and informative video. Thank you, Dr. Grande! 🐯

[@kimberlysmith1282]

LOVE your channel, Dr. G! I was 5 episodes in and got hooked. Thanks for the variety. I'm diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder 11 years ago and when I was looking for information recently and learning of others experiences your channel came through my feed. Please continue providing us with great material and information. North Carolina...

[@engleharddinglefester4285]

Holy cow that was a good talk. You good at what you do!

[@Livin4Him...]

My question is why would she meet someone she had never met before at 3am as she is getting back in town from her grandmother's funeral. She had to have been emotionally drained and also physically from the trip. I think at 23 years young she felt invincible and that nothing would ever happen to her. When all you hear about are stories just like hers. My heart 💔 for her parents. I feel so sorry for her mother, she just lost HER mother and now she lost her daughter. 🙏 for them. ❤️

[@ShaareiZoharDaas]

What if she had suicidal ideation and went knowing this guy was dangerous?...#justsaying

[@XYZ-kb3mm]

she likely thought the wealth would make her feel better.

[@sayingthethingstheywont2619]

You can't be emotionally drained if your devoid of emotion to begin with.

[@f.5818]

@@ShaareiZoharDaas I can't give you enough dislikes.

[@ShaareiZoharDaas]

@@f.5818 That's a spectrum response😏

[@NanceeMarin]

I totally agree, Dr. G. It's a confirmation of what I've suspected post-Cluster B abuse. I've always felt something is off with this arrangement. People should just tell it like it is. Prior to exposure to people with Cluster B personality disorders and psychopathy, I didn't think personality disorders would be involved in this sort of thing. Now that I know, I'm not surprised at all.

[@IronZio]

Cluster Laziness Disorder. It's an epidemic. There's an underrated thing called "work" out there.. if one wishes to travel, shopping and drive fancy cars. Anyway, someone says it's the oldest "job" in the World.

[@NanceeMarin]

@@IronZio Yep!

[@SableRain]

It's shocking that people consider prostitution empowering.

[@mathrodite]

Putting aside the murder, I can't see why it's dangerous or immoral for these relationships between adults. It's as old as the hills, just not advertised on websites.

[@Natalia-hf3et]

This is the first time that I'm hearing about this case. I appreciate your analysis, thank you.

[@sophroniel]

the gender neutral term for sugar daddy is "glucose guardian"

[@scarlettchappendenden9059]

Good morning, Dr. Grande, It all sounds rather grim and sad. I liked the theory you presented. Thank you. S

[@elisamastromarino7123]

I have never heard of this. And its not only despicable but it's dangerous as well. Ho hum. People seem sad and empty to me. ☹ Thank you for shedding light on this Dr Grande. 👍🌹

[@erikrungemadsen2081]

Especially when sites like Seeking arrangement, have been revealed in not doing anything when it comes to their so called verification of the "Daddies." These sites do not give a shit about the girls safety.

[@britastorseth8184]

No better way to spend my weekend than binge watching Dr. Grande's channel! Love your content! 💙

[@britastorseth8184]

Dr. Grande, I want you to know how beneficial your videos are to victims. I've been in a very coercive relationship for a few years and when I heard about the Watts murders, I became engulfed because this was a guy who doted on his family. I was aware of NPD and sociopathy prior but my partner never showed signs until 2 years into the relationship. Then overnight, the control factor and coercion factored in. I am at the point now where I do fear . He has stalked my work and daycare and police have been dispatched. My employer has a restraining order on him, they actually filed charges for him showing up with a concealed firearm

[@thisisntanoption702]

I've always wanted a sound proof room but for my drum set lol.

[@teslaandhumanity7383]

Oldest profession just re-labelled .

[@Tiredbutmighty]

I love how quick this channel's subscriber count is growing.

[@erinjk123]

Recipe for disaster

[@HumanimalChannel]

what? sugar and sugar? its a recipe for dental work and obesity in the very least:)

[@LetSBeReAL-nd9hw]

YOUR HIGHLY INTELLIGENT... I ALSO WORK IN THE MENTAL HEALTH FIELD. THANK YOU FOR WHAT YOU DO

[@milaboeva3714]

I don’t know why but this “sugar dating” always raises the alarm for cluster B’s, for me. Especially for the women. Firstly, dating older men, no matter the final goal, speaks to me for “daddy issues”. Secondly, this so called “fair deal”, the sex/love/companionship in exchange for money and status are screaming about high levels of exploitativeness and zero empathy. Excellent base for personality disorders. So I think maybe they already have heavy metal issues even before entering in this “world”.

[@aashnachowdhury8618]

Cluster b has nothing to do with sugar dating. People do it because it's relatively easy money, easier than holding down a job anyway.

[@aashnachowdhury8618]

@@laurakelleher1995 yeah I was talking about sugar dating, not sex work. Sometimes sugar dating does not include sex at all, and I don't think falls under the criteria for regular sex work, nor has the challenges that regular sex workers face.

[@milascave2]

@@aashnachowdhury8618 I disagree. OK, if there is no sex involved, maybe, But as soon as there is, it is sex work, period.

[@lauranceemory4448]

Here in Thailand you could say it is a cultural tradition. Helping a girl out at uni and/or having a "mia noi" (little wife). When a man becomes "successful" it is almost expected he get a mia noi along same lines as a BMW instead of a Toyota, Often implicit agreement that man will never bring shame on family with his fooling around, wife always needs deniability, sometimes relieved she doesn't have to do "wifely duty" anymore

[@schoolwork232]

That is just so sad. using your body to gain financial benefits. People need to be taught otherwise. It is a sad situation especially for the woman!

[@NDC2018]

It's the same in Nigeria. So sad!

[@drakedrones]

Oh dear lord! Such a terrible dark marriage to be in, where your husband doesn’t age with you!!!!

[@erikrungemadsen2081]

It is pefectly normal in a historic perspective just look at people like Madame Pompadour, Countes Danner, Rosalie Duthé, Bootlet Kathrine, Camilla Parker-Bowles. Rich people and royalty has had left-hand relationships and marriages for millenia.

[@latinaalma1947]

@@schoolwork232 And it is sad for the wife..if she dlesnt want sex with him anymore that needs to be examined...why....what is wrong...most women have sexual needs too...this attitude implies she is out of luck or he doesnr care if she enjoys the sex...they need to work on their marriage and sort THAT out. I know this is a cultural thing kn some societies BUT a woman and man both should have healthy emotional amd phisical needs met in a primary relationship if that is their expectation....if not then seek help! Both genders deserve emotional and physical love, respect, and cocern.

[@skibum6422]

Great video. This horrible person was planning this out way ahead of time and this poor girl walked into a trap. This situation has been going on for years but the internet and social media has made it far easier today. Social media has created an entire generation of narcissists and is destroying our moral fabric.

[@carlyb2991]

Can you please do a video on substance abuse relating to personality disorders? Or how substance abuse can mimic a personality disorder? Your videos are very informing and interesting, thank you for sharing your knowledge and experiences in your practice field !

[@AR-pr6mt]

Very interesting...but disturbing....thank you!

[@DrGrande]

You're welcome 🙂

[@4everu984]

Very grateful LMFT! Ty Dr. Grande. My favorite new channel.

[@cristinamagurean]

Interesting topic, dr. Grande. The "sugar daddy" figure is very common in my country and the general belief is that in this kind of relationship both parties gain something. It is frowned upon a bit but it is also considered a "transactional relationship". I never thought that this topic could be analyzed so professionally and with such an interesting perspective.

[@b52270]

What country is that?

[@cristinamagurean]

@@b52270 Romania

[@isthisjustfantasy7557]

@Butt Head Well it sort of is and has always been. Marriage was started literally as an arrangement over property and wealth. Only now, instead of fathers 'selling' their daughters to acquire more financial security, women look for that for themselves. That's the society we live in, however modern we like to think we are, we still cling to this ideal of man and women get married, man works to earn money to support his wife and kids, woman is primary caregiver and that's the happy family. That's been hammered into people for thousands of years, it isn't going to change suddenly just because it's become more acceptable for women to work and be independent in the last few decades. There's a long way to go. Too many women still have that mindset of leave school, find a man, pop out some kids and that's the perfect life. Most women I know who've taken that path seem to be kidding themselves that they're happy. Because they think they should be. You can see the boredom in their eyes. We really haven't come very far and it'll be a long time before there's true equality and women are driven to be independent and only choose a relationship when they're already financially sorted and secure. There's nothing like that feeling of being totally independent and not needing a man, financially or emotionally. Then choosing to date men who are also secure and independent because you enjoy their company and have fun together, but you know if it doesn't work out - you're strong enough to cope and there will be others if you want there to be. I wish all women realised they can focus on making their own life good rather than relying on a relationship and/or money. Society puts so much pressure on people to make loads of money, have a perfect family, look a certain way - and not enough on people to be happy and value the truly great things in life. Loved ones, freedom, independence, health, individuality, doing things you enjoy, achieving something you want to achieve however small. So many people are trying to attain the unobtainable and it's scary how much some people value money above all else. Sorry for the rant 😑

[@Clare-tea]

I love the rattlesnake analogy for assessing the level of safety.

[@sycamoresally6303]

I appreciate your clear conclusions. I may not completely agree with your opinions, but I like that you express definite judgments.

[@ritagoforth2317]

I know one thing Dr. Grande, I will never again look at the ocean without thinking of you. 😄

[@mirjanadolenec3099]

Thank you, Todd; I think I've never had the reason to say so many thank yous to anybody except mum and my children. Thank you really for giving me a reason to have to do that! In my day I had to answer many a question and many of them you keep teaching me how to answer in a more appropriate fashion - Loves & A World Of Gratitude Is Being Sent To You (*.*)

[@mirjanadolenec3099]

[@vampireslayer1989]

Hook up sites are frequented by Cluster Bs. Always meet on line dates in a public place first.

[@madmanmikey]

Got a link proving this? I think you're right but would like a link

[@robynmclean3358]

Unfortunately, this wasn't the first time they had met. Her friends knew about him and couldn't see what she saw in him.

[@vampireslayer1989]

@@madmanmikey, Search it yourself. I met my BPD/Covert NPD on line. The internet is a hunting ground for narcopaths. The odds of meeting one are better than one in twenty.

[@madmanmikey]

@@vampireslayer1989 Thought you had a fave link or one you did. What you're saying makes perfect sense though.

[@raggasoca]

Yeah my ex BPD ex girlfriend had a sugar daddy when I met her .

[@CradleEpiscopalian56]

These criminal breakdown analysis are akin to mini episodes of CSI. Love, love, love this channel.

[@annmurry8589]

ick no The sad thing is how much popular music promotes this crud.

[@SableRain]

@N Silva calling yourself a slur is not empowering. It also promotes a double standard.

[@stopthephilosophicalzombie9017]

Are you referencing R Kelly, or is there more?

[@darrelltblake]

Right or wrong women have engaged in sex and relationships for financial stability since people have been on this planet. Basically, there are alot of women who will tolerate you and spend time with you if you buy them things. Plus a little help with the rent or vacation money does not hurt.

[@crepituss9381]

Dr. Grande's dead pan description of Sugar Daddies is comedy gold.

[@ShaareiZoharDaas]

Everyone is so focused on the much more subtle tell of the "sugar daddy" missed the more pronounced disgust at the discussion of the room he had built and why the contractor did nothing I learned a lot here. Beyond having a moral compass Dr.Grande appears to be an empathetic person who is dismayed by this person's failure to act. This says more to me than just the tell regarding "sugar daddy" I don't know his status but the "hypergamy" elicited some discomfort too...I hope he is being cherished in a monagomous relationship because he is well suited for it...I see a loyal person who is really dismayed by this entire construct... #kudos this gives me hope that there is no shortage good men out there

[@mrsmucha]

Look at the abused lady in Florida who took her husband's guns and brought then to the police but then was arrested by them.

[@krisztinakessel6869]

I agree that its a difficult kind of relationship, but i think many marriages are based on the same idea: women get or stay married for financial reasons. And the problem here lies with society as a whole, not uneducated women, who cannot afford to not have a boyfriend or husband.

[@savannahm9943]

Underrated comment.

[@PlsWaLuigiDomMe]

No the problem is that there is a huge unbalance when one party has all the financial power. Financial abuse is very very real.

[@thecarpenter2599]

We always called them goldiggers

[@gigi9301]

Gold Diggers Only exist because there are foolish guys more than willing to throw money at pretty, new, and shiny girls. That's the way it always has been, is now, and forever will be.

[@milascave2]

carpenter: This is somewhere on the spectrum between prostitutes and gold diggers, I suppose.

[@jimjonrs3932]

These are golddiggers without the commitment.

[@Voodoovixenn]

They wouldn’t exist without the desperate men...

[@JiveDadson]

Kept women

[@lindadobberstein2035]

Immoral and dangerous activity!

[@florencearnold9045]

Interesting! The website is also apparently for "Sugar Mommas". Gotta wonder about the dynamics involved in that one...Is sex as likely or less likely to be expected in that sort of "arrangement"? I've also got to wonder if some of the men drawn to that site have some sort of DDLG type kink and have excessive shame about it/can't find someone to play with. Obviously, it's 99% about prostitution, but I wanted to thrown that in there to shift the perspective a bit.

[@B.I.-EIO_macdonald9786]

I think that the best thing my narcissistic father ever said to me was this “Dont you ever sell yourself kid!” Im an attractive woman size 2 130 lbs physically fit. Pretty with a symmetrical face. I am not an item. Im not a pair of shoes that can be taken out for the right event. Im a human being. Not a disposable item that can be bought. Im Grateful for all i have learned to do for myself as opposed to selling my soul for things i can very well learn and do for myself. That is what i thank my npd father for. Thanks Dad! Im a stronger more valuable woman for it.

[@crystalllllll]

@@kaship98 I was thinking the same

[@whitelightsheddinweedsmokin]

People have a multitude of reasons for getting into sex work and I'm not the right individual to discuss any of that but if you're reading this and are considering it (or someone you know is) just please be careful, set your boundaries clear and precise (about what services you are willing to offer or not, transaction details etc.) and *always* tell someone of your whereabouts before and after meetings. Give your friend the full address & time. Don't intoxicate yourself to do it (that is a red flag that you shouldn't be there in the first place if I dare comment). If you're keeping it a secret just bite the bullet and tell someone who really cares about you. Or someone in your area you can count on/talk to. Those are non-negotiables whoever you are, because you are so worth it. You can come back from this, or anything, and you always have a choice. I had a friend who was a male escort in the streets of Montreal, and online. The tradeoffs seem to be extreme. Whatever he was looking for, I doubt that he found it doing it...

[@Cecilinzian]

Thank you

[@resop3]

I think that the lack of broad based studies makes drawing conclusions difficult. If two people are in a successful (to them) sugar relationship then they have little reason to advertise it, while if a sugar relationship goes horribly wrong (there have been homicides by both baby's and daddy's) then it gets a lot of publicity. Also, extremely bad results have happened with every single online dating service that has ever been.

[@gordonbelle1375]

Exactly.

[@pocoeagle2]

It's 2 AM in my country and after watching this video I now constantly hear that song called Sugar Baby Love from The Rubettes in my head. It's probably going to be a long sleepless night. Interesting vid Dr. Grande👍

[@DrGrande]

Thank you 🙂

[@katstephens6571]

My cousin was a really pretty intelligent nurse. She told me she only dated wealthy men. She was not a hooker she just didnt accept dates from middle class men. She said if u r dating u will marry from your social group. She said she didnt want to live hard. Women have done this for centuries.

[@Adara007]

Thanks for another insightful, objective analysis of this 'sugar dating' relationship. I'm glad you clarified what typifies this type of relationship. There are cases where a younger woman will become involved with an older man but the woman has already a successful academic record and education, is involved with a career, and is financially independent. In such cases, where the couple may start off as friends and it develops into an intimate and loving relationship, frequently those who don't know them will assume the relationship is one of a 'sugar daddy' situation which is not something, understandably, the couple particularly appreciates whilst they do understand that such assumptions tend to be made due to stereotypes and the whole hypergamy tendency. When it's basically sex being exchanged for financial support, there's bound to be problems - not to mention that it's going to be extremely damaging to the woman and will impede her ability to mature psychologically and to gain or continue with her education, career, and financial independence.

[@WowDaniX]

Great topic! I had a friend that was a sugar baby, and the men were always married and she was always sad and miserable. I kicked her to the curb because she was too much drama.

[@yelloworangered]

The contractor probably foresaw that it would be his word against the guy's and that he might possibly be labeled a racist.

[@milascave2]

@Xanthalous Rachaum So she died because of a law that had not yet been passed? I call BS,

[@garmtpug]

Was the contractor a minority? I think most people just don't want to get involved.

[@garmtpug]

@Xanthalous Rachaum That's just a foolish assumption.

[@ladysmith7747]

I doubt if that was the issue. There isn´t really much the police could have done about it so why bother to call them.

[@KoreaMojo]

The whole arrangement sounds like a narcissist describing the relationship they want, even the other person agreeing to those conditions. Often the terms are not as transparent though and one-sided. Transactional relationships are not relationships they are business agreements. Why feel bad about it enough to try conflate the arrangements with something of more depth?

[@milascave2]

kroean: I think he gave the main reason. You probably will not get busted.

[@Estelle-Maureen]

Such a creepy concept.

[@freemeow]

It seems you have once again proved men & women are not exactly the same, no matter what people would like say these days . Another excellent video

[@annaelizabethtay5688]

Dr. Grande, nice to hear from you again 🙏. Its saddening really.

[@gauloise6442]

The rules of dating have broken down so much, that maybe a lot of young women feel exploited by the hook up culture of online / app dating and feel at least they will get something for their time, if only going to a nice place. A lot of starry eyed girls with dreams of Cinderella, thirsty for glamour more than for more money.

[@isthisjustfantasy7557]

Yep. Societal norms and expectations on both genders are oppressive and limiting tbh. It's sad.

[@Estelle-Maureen]

I'm easily manipulated with sweets. I guess I'm a sugar baby.

[@niloufar9073]

Thank you so much for this video Dr Todd. Amazing.

[@lyndsayblassingame3797]

I've been an active member on Seeking Arrangements for years and I've never had too much of an issue dealing with creepy guys but never in my life would I EVER meet anyone at 3am in a park or otherwise. Sex work is very dangerous. You have to have common sense and a good gut feeling. And as far as the criminal aspect ex: I would love to go out with you tonight but I have to pay a bill for example. So, if you wanna pay that bill for me so I dont have to work then yes, I'm absolutely free tonight. That type of thing. As for love, my best friend married her SD Soooo I know a cpl ppl who stayed with their guys but majority no.

[@01SaltyWitch]

@N Silva please don't feel bad for incels. Your looks aren't really that important, odds are there's someone out there for everyone. So long as you're not a shitty person, filled with rage that believes they're owed something from society, women in particular, because they don't look like Brad Pitt.

[@jessiek1273]

Can you examine the case of Michelle Carter, who encouraged her suicidal boyfriend to commit suicide? Can you go over some mental health conditions both may have had and if you think her 15 month prison sentence is fair or not and why? I would just be really interested to hear your take on this.

[@shannonobrien2572]

That sounds great interesting to me too.

[@Catherinzsl]

I don't know what if any mental health diagnosis she might have, but she's definitely a "5 rattlesnake" type of girl.

[@anis9166]

I am curious to know how many relationships end up with the Sugar Dating dynamic without it being explicitly agreed to in the first place and how they differ compared to those who begin the relationship with the Sugar Dating agreement. Hmmmm...

[@catharinepizzarello4784]

It’s a continuum. My mother’s womanly advice to me was, Make sure he cares about you more than you care about him.” Fortunately, I didn’t take it.

[@MN_MAGA]

Thank you, Dr. Grande. This was very interesting.

[@deemah3602]

oldest oppression, not oldest profession

[@yvettedurbangirlsa]

I've watched 2 other videos on this story were not informative at all. Excellent video you tell it like it is. Love your channel 👏👏👏👏

[@sharon6196]

I enjoy your discussions. Thank you ☺️

[@tammylaronde8593]

Everytime a man has made this type of offer to me, my answer is the same. No! I'd rather be poor than put myself in a potentially dangerous situation for money. Honestly, if a person has to offer money in order to get companionship, in my opinion that is usually a red flag. I'll live within my means and try to stay as safe as I can instead. I'd rather have a true relationship, one with a strong foundation which you can build upon.

[@alexw2154]

People who gave up on or dont believe in love... or are incapable.

[@gilltim5711]

@ Dr. Todd Grande: I have a question for you. Since you're able to dissect these personality types so well, why don't you do an article evaluating Woody Allen vs. his daughter Dylan, and see if you can tell which of them is telling the truth?

[@tracesprite6078]

You may like to see the analysis that Diana Davison provides on this topic.

[@lotty6078]

I love your rattle snake analogy

[@Underbottom.Sandydown]

Hearing Dr. Todd say 'sugar daddy' made my day

[@FatimahD444]

Dr.G You're amazing I listen to your vids daily while driving and at night to help me fall asleep lol it's very therapeutic. Ty❤

[@doreenmaclean4953]

Well clarified Dr. Grande👍🏼🍃. Your explanations always, make things, easier to understand. Thanks for another great video👄.

[@Anita-k]

Poor Mackenzie got to comfortable with her second job. However, I don't judge her and besides this, I've a different view on that bc prostitution is legal in my country Austria/Europe. Imo it should be legal everywhere as it would be much safer for the women and LE could focus on violent crimes way better. These are lost resources anyways, as this business won't ever die out; (jmo).

[@nerdieone1]

I agree too. It should be legal.

[@ironylulz]

It’s safer for women, it allows them to protect themselves.

[@allencollins9951]

I'm not sure about that maybe legalizing it could spread disease

[@cabelocab2008]

This topic is very controversial in my country (South Africa) where sugar daddies are sometimes referred to as blessers and sugar babies as blessees. Due to poverty and other factors, sexual relationships are very transactional, so the blesser/blessee issue is a little different. Though that's not to say that there aren't cases where people want these relationships for purely superficial reasons

[@MartinJohnZ]

"One rattlesnake is dangerous enough." - Dr. T. Grande.

[@stephaniemomma]

I liked your rattlesnake analogy at the end. Very thought provoking