What Is The Most Psychologically Damaging Thing You Can Say To A Child

[@Nan_Can]

This made me tear up. I remember hearing some of these things from my parents😢 it hurt then and even now... but thats why I'm here!!! I know back then they didn't have the parenting tools like we do now. Thanks the videos!!

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

So glad you have chosen something different for the next generation, Nancy Can. You got this.

[@sarathieniranjana2146]

don't worry.we are the same.my parents too.but we have a chance to be good parents than our parents.

[@ib5660]

Get over it jeez

[@rosie01ism]

You are amazing, no wonder people grow up with no confidence 😢

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

We can overcome, rose fragale. We can learn other ways, so glad you and others are at the channel and choosing positivity.

[@69Fabulosity]

Story of my life. My mother never believed in me and always told me I cant be what I've wanted to be & now as an adult I don't believe in myself.

[@RukhShariq]

Totally agree. I am one of them. She always had positive things to say about my other sisters and al the negative for me. Not that she didnt love me but she kind of thought it was the way to make me a better person. Well,I didnt turn out to be a better person at all. Worst thing is now I feel like I am being like my mother not just to my kids but also husband. That's why I watch his videos to help change myself

[@xs0urjacksx]

I loved this. My parents said all these things and it's taken years to cope with the depression from it and unlearn the maladaptive behavior that I indirectly learned from them. Now that I have a son, I want to be the best parent I can be for him. I've been rewatching these videos on parenting since he was a baby and I just want to say thank you for conveying such valuable information. Our children are the future and they deserve to live in a healthy, happy home that fosters an environment in which they will thrive developmentally.

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Children are our future and we have so much to do with how it comes out.

[@tecumseha]

Jackie, you are so strong to go from a negative environment in your childhood, & turning into a positive one for your own child. That's harder work than starting from positive. You are a great example - especially to your child, but also to the rest of us! Dr. Paul is awesome & so helpful, right?

[@OnsceneDC]

Shouldn't this extend to adults/spouses/partners!?

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Miss E, agreed! We need to talk respectful to everyone.

[@karaa7595]

Obviously.

[@dawncawthra3519]

Absolutely! Unfortunately some adults continue that cycle they were born into, even knowing it's wrong (usually only acknowledging that after the chaos), they appear to be unable to control their emotions, allowing their emotions to control them. If you're in a relationship that you know in your heart is toxic hunny, there's a crucial point where you realize they are not willing to put the effort in to correct that cycle, it's time to accept it and move on. Mutual respect is deserved but not when obtained through fear.

[@mareknosek996]

To everyone...

[@theroadlife6073]

I am 32 years old now, and I asked my mom why did she allow dad to physically abuse my sister and I so much, and does she regret saying all above mentioned words to us...she said that we were bad kids.I asked what does she think that we have done to deserve that...she answered that we were not really bad, but had habits that she dislikes. This all is horrible. This used to be a huge problem for me in the past, but now I chose to live very far away from my parents. I do talk to them regularly, but the fact is that we both, my sister and I, would never be good enough for them. I truly hope people learn early if they do make mistakes as parents, and if they don't, kids who went through this in their life, you can move on from that and continue to succeed in every aspect of your life.

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Tamara Ristic Allen, you are so positive and resilient. Thank you for choosing different.

[@tiffkungpoify]

I can imagine saying “I shouldn’t have had you.” Or “I never loved you.” Would be the absolute worse.

[@caitlinclose8272]

Artemis Hunts yup. The “I shouldn’t have had you.” -that one I’ve heard, at a very young age & I’m still not over it.

[@daughterofthemosthigh9931]

My adopted father told me "we should of never adopted you" and in my mind I finished his sentence "because we aren't ready to be good parents" I wasn't the "proublem" they where...looking back at ot now that I'm an adult it was me protecting my child self.

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Artemis Hunts, they are both terrible.

[@annawimpey5307]

As a Christian, I am to love the sinner, but not the sin. You have to teach right from wrong by pointing it out and making sure they understand. If the bad behavior continues, a correction and punishment (ie grounding) must come from you. They call it tough love because it's hard on you to discipline someone you love. They need you to give them guidance so that they learn to make good decisions and handle their own lives with Christ who strengthens them.

[@dewfuss4360]

Daughter of the Most High Hope your mom left him, I bet he had very little or no friends and isolated your family from everybody

[@carinacorrea1976]

"When we TEACH our children that THEY CAN HANDLE ANYTHING, FEAR DISAPPEARS and it OPENS UP POSSIBILITIES for them To FIND WAYS, To COPE, To ADAPT, To INNOVATE, To CREATE, and To BECOME the BEAUTIFUL POWERFUL people that they are UNIQUELY DESIGNED to BE". Simply brilliant!! Thank you SO much for your videos! They make parents like me, once kids raised that wrong way, try to heal and forgive your own parents and at the same time, try to forgive yourself, plus try to be a better parent with my own kids. What a combo! 🤗🤗

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

I am so happy to hear that you GET it and are trying to LIVE it, Carina Mantovani! I am truly honored to be on your team. Thanks for being part of the Live On Purpose community.

[@carinacorrea1976]

Thank you SO much for your support!! 🤗💖

[@taylorose]

I can’t ever imagine saying these negative things to my daughter! MY GOODNESS it breaks my heart. My life goals is to be here with love for children

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Taylor Loper, wish all parents were like you. Sadly, not.

[@Wolfqueen007]

Even if you can't imagine it, you might find yourself getting wrapped up in emotion and saying them anyway. I try really hard not to say these things, but having been raised the way I was with a Negative Nancy for a mother, and a stepfather who thought I was useless Zaza it's hard. I sure don't WANT to say these things, but changing my attitude about life in general is hard since I tend towards pessimistic views in the first place, which makes it harder to control my reactions in stressful situations. No one's perfect, but I hope to get better as I increase awareness of myself. Admitting this doesn't mean I don't love my kid, either. I do, and I try to show him every day. But not everyone was raised in super loving homes and taught positive coping strategies that help make for "perfect" parents. It should say something about the people raised in dysfunctional families who try to improve themselves because they do love their children enough not to want to hurt them because of poor parenting they may have experienced.

[@tonybelmonte1724]

People are human. We are weak and don't always know how to do or say the right things. But once you learn and don't employment it then you are to blame for your actions.

[@amiensarabellis8391]

It's important not to foist your own fears onto your kids. My father was coach to me. Everyone has fears. He coached me to do far beyond what I was afraid to do myself. I still have to catch myself before I think or say something that instills fear. Being a coach is the opposite of saying you can't. Being positive and encouraging instills confidence. Thanks for this insight.

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

You are welcome, your dad sounds amazing.

[@ChrissyVee5]

My father says “what is wrong with you?” All the time to my children and of course said it to me as a kid. I hate when he says that!!! I get so angry at him!!

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

FacciaBella5, I would look at him and say, "Nothing." I would let him know that the kids are perfectly normal, smile and change the subject or ignore him.

[@rlb3726]

@@LiveOnPurposeTV Good reply.

[@janedoh1648]

FacciaBella5 my dad said it here and there, it really hurt

[@ThebigGLRams]

But what is wrong with you really ?

[@janedoh1648]

Gee rams lol lots

[@fastpitchmermaid4550]

Maybe put up a video of what we should stay instead

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Fastpitch Mermaid, I did, that aired a little bit ago, 3 Things You Should Say to Your Child Everyday. Very well received.

[@SouleStunningCleans]

Fastpitch Mermaid that’s exactly what I was thinking

[@hazyquebec12]

It’s important to know what not to do

[@kaitlyne1870]

In these situations, probably don't say anything at all. If you feel the need to tell your kid they're dumb and that you wish you hadn't had them, you should probably just step away and work on your own issues (temper, stress, etc.) instead of taking it out on your kid.

[@mareknosek996]

Good idea!

[@pandi1911]

I encountered so much bullying when i was a teens, all of my dads relatives and even my dad are bad influence, always say negative things on me, words that hurt me the most! “That I don’t know nothing and never successful in life, .. 😢 but Thank GOD I relying on him and turns out GOOd my life is perfect with GOD in my life, I’m married and have 5years old beautiful girl❤️

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Amy Olsen, so glad you could move on and have more positive people in your life.

[@taylorose]

Something I personally learned after having a child that I can’t stand is when parents say “no I didn’t” or something denying the way the child feels about something that happened. Stating that their views and emotions are false. Even if that’s not how something was intended or even if it legitimately not how something really played out to tell someone that the feelings inside someone’s heart especially pain and sadness and to tell them that it’s not true is horrible, you then are forced to learn to disassociate from your body because you learn to not trust your feelings!

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Taylor Loper, you are never wrong about how you feel.

[@mimitheo2944]

We then spend the rest of our lives telling those things to ourselves if we don't wake up. Great message, thank you for your goodness.

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

You are so welcome

[@linmcc9467]

No matter how frustrating I am or when I lose my patient, I can still say to my four year old son that, "There is nothing in this world that you can't do!" or if some friends at his school/his toddler sister breaks something he builds, I can always tell him that because those friends and your little sister are not as good as you. They break one thing that you built, you can still build thousands or millions of them. Thanks to your videos! Your definetely helped me love my kids more and more everyday and will still try my best to better!

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Lin Mcc, thank you for sharing. Please share with anyone else you think could benefit.

[@linmcc9467]

@@LiveOnPurposeTV Will do 😊

[@hellaibrahim6296]

Honestly I never want to become like my mother because she always says stuff like till now and Im catching myself doing the same to my Kid! Really eye opening really hits my heart. Thank you for your powerful Video 🙏🏽

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

You are welcome, hella ibrahim. Thank you for watching and being aware.

[@jenniferm6042]

Same! It's very hard to stop the cycle. I remind myself I am doing better than my mother and her mother did.

[@davidusa47]

“because she always says stuff like...” You just did it right there, see? Tough to break the cycle. But the only person we can truly change is ourselves.

[@zaraali6595]

So true ... mental torture is dangerous

[@KombuchaLiz]

Every parent needs to watch this video. Our words are so powerful..I've been working on this. From what I've learned children are in a hypnotic state until around 7? I try to use positive reinforcing words but when I get super frustrated I'm not as aware. This is a really great video. I'm going to share it with my husband.

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

I love it when parents share with each other and are on the same page, KombuchaLiz. Honored to be on your team.

[@beautifulday1563]

Love this message. I will never forget when my dad told me at 11 that when I grow up and get married that I need to make sure to be lovable because my mother wasn't loveable. This was right after my parents divorce. To this day that thought process is the biggest cause of my anxiety in my marriage. Any mistakes or shortcoming I have my mind always connects the if I am not this then I am not loveable if I am not loveable I am worthless. Good thing I have an amazing husband.

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

MamaM2015, I am happy for you.

[@Kingsdaughter68]

MamaM2015 that’s sad. Forgive him and move on. He said it when he was not in a good place with your mom

[@mariaazores5464]

You lifted such heavy burden in my heart. I always question myself "Am I a good parent? Am I doing the right thing? Am I hurting my child this way? Am I becoming like my mother? Etc." Haven't said most (of what you've mentioned? but I must admit, I have said some hurtful words. I regret it but I can't take it back.

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

We all mess up, but we can apologize and move on with more positivity, maryam tube. It is good for kids to learn to give forgiveness.

[@VolleyballMama]

Same here I feel like I want to hug all my kids when they get home from school and just tell them how much I love them and to please forgive me for my mistakes but I’ll never quit on trying to better myself. It’s good that we can all try to forgive each other for sure.

[@deeptajayakumar4964]

Same here

[@fionam3735]

Oh 🥴 I’m a single parent and have two very lively children that I am guilty of saying some of these things to. You CAN! I didn’t hear this growing up but I intend to break the pattern. Thank you 🙏

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Wonderful! I love it when we see we have a choice and decide to be positive. You got this!

[@brothertn708]

Grace Kelly single parents are by far the worst to raise children! I feel for those poor children!

[@hildawheeler2598]

Thank you for this reminder! Fear, pride and our expectations are the most difficult things we deal with day to day. ❤️

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Great point, Hilda wheeler, I agree.

[@allyoutube8876]

I'm literally crying while seeing this video.

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

All KZbin, I have heard that before. Thanks for watching.

[@chenxishu7738]

So helpful, so fun, I didn’t expect that the most damaging thing I say to my child is “You can’t”, I may do some changes

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Thank you for considering, Chenxi Shu. Honored to be on your team.

[@cattailsforlunch]

Non of us are perfect, all parents make mistakes. I have a “difficult” child...learning and behavioral disabilities, mental health issues. I’m guilty of saying “now what did you do”, because honestly, there was something every single day. I got calls from the school at least once a week. I did the best I could. My son is now an adult and he’s still struggling and I’m still trying to be a perfect mom, but I still occasionally say the wrong thing, especially when stressed. Be kind to your kids and to yourselves. Pray for peace inside and out.

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

cattailsforlunch, amen. Great advice, thank you for adding your perspective and experience.

[@Jessicatt88]

I have said terrible things. My heart hurts. It hurts often. I feel so sad and exhausted. Suicidal thoughts frequently. I never leave the house. I think it’s vitamin d deficiency, lack of nutrients. Bought some vitamins and b12, watching these vids, trying to keep my anger controlled. I think I might be manic because I have ups and downs over days and weeks. Im trying to change. I have a 5 yr old boy, 4 yr old girl, and 2 yr old twins.

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Jessica Van brocklin, you can do this. Reach out and get an evaluation. Take the time it needs, I know you have a lot going on, but when you take care or yourself, you will be able to give back more to your children.

[@mistressevamzonia7087]

Text himon whtsapp

[@mistressevamzonia7087]

+ 2 3 4 8 1 5 6 8 9 6 4 3 6📄

[@titabelski7731]

I like the end part. Say "you can..." Encouraging a child or anyone is the key. Someone told me "I can..." and that sparks something in me. I told someone "she can..." and I saw the movement in her that that energized her action and she did! 😊 Thanks for this beautiful tip, Dr. Paul.

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Words, Stories & More, I love that you pass it on.

[@jennifreesjourney9817]

“Just try your best” by my parents and being told by the rest of the world I try too hard. I have no concept of boundaries and appropriate effort I have burned myself out time and again because only my best was good enough and if I didn’t do this I was guilt ridden

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

jennifree EH14, at least I think you now see how that had not served you well. I hope you are on your way to freeing yourself from the guilt. Listen in to my podcast sometime, Live On Purpose Radio, I think you could benefit from some of the previous episodes in this aspect.

[@amberbrown1398]

Me too.

[@tinaholbrook9719]

@@LiveOnPurposeTV I didn't know you had a podcast! I just looked it up. I'd love to listen to it, but want to make sure that the content is appropriate for my children (8 and 5 year old girls) to hear. I saw the episode on suicide and wasn't sure if that kind of stuff would be in other episodes without being titled that. I'm a stay at home homeschooling mom, so not often am I not around my kids. I like to listen to podcasts with them, but also don't want adult subjects to come up. Are the big difficult topics labeled for what they are, or do you sprinkle those themes through out other podcasts that wouldn't seem to be about that?

[@johnlester293]

I WISH YOU WERE MY DAD😢🖤

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

John Lester, you are very kind. Please know that your father is doing the best he can with the knowledge and resources he has. We have a Positive Parenting playlist - do you think he would be willing to watch any of the videos on it? Best wishes, and thanks for watching.

[@Dulce-cm2kx]

Ditto.

[@mrsmaealtema5562]

I am learning for when I finally become a mother 🙂 thank you so much awesome video

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Thank you for taking your role as a parent seriously, your forward thinking is inspiring, Mae'Serenity Mykaa.

[@mrsmaealtema5562]

@@LiveOnPurposeTV thank you 🤗💕

[@ZEE.N-m5l]

Yh, many parents need to take it serious bringing a child into this world.

[@objoyful989]

Wow, my mom did all of this, without learning from you. She's a natural talent I guess...

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Some people are natural at parenting, OB Joyful. They are usually the ones who had good parents to learn from.

[@moiracolebourn3159]

How about . . . "Go away, I'm NOT your Dad!" Which was delivered to ME at just eight years old. One day when I hurried in from playing, brimming with excitement. Only to be met with a newspaper and a silent response.

[@joebello2214]

We have to think before we speak and act in front of kids they will be the reflection of us. A lot of us grew up with very abusing parents or family like I did. I broke the chain educating myself watching this videos a few years ago nobody pushed me to be a better parent nobody told me about this videos nobody nothing . There is no excuses educating ourselves to be better parents and better person is our choice .

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Joe Bello, glad you are here in our positive parenting community.

[@ZohraImran]

Completely agree👍. I too do it unconsciously, I don't mean to but from a child's perspective it means a lot to them, it effects them a lott... Hope I will be aware of what I speak......

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

We can all become more aware, Zohra Imran. Thanks for watching.

[@crjoki1]

He's psychologically damaging me by not telling me what is the heck it is!

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Crystal Johansen, Read some of the comments and you will see some things said, scary.

[@DaurcKnyte]

😂

[@dancingphalangesmz]

Learn to listen actively

[@joyhenson1877]

Thank you for bringing light to this extremely important subject

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Joy Henson, honored to be on your team.

[@joebello2214]

Will not only help you to be a better parent but to be a better person thank you sir for this good videos.

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

So nice of you, Joe Bello.

[@tanzilaleeya]

Wow. I've been told every one of those through my childhood, and continuously told them.

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Glad you are here in our community.

[@mydearfrankly6055]

The flip side is damaging, too. I could never please my dad, ever. I was a straight A student, but when I brought home the A, he wanted to know why it wasn't an A+. When I brought home the A+, he wanted to know why I wasn't teaching the class. I was never an athlete, and he'd watch Olympic figure skaters and swimmers and say with disappointment, "You could do that." Never once offered to take me to the pool or a gym. Now I'm old and feel like a failure because I've topped out and I'm not still "rising."

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

My Dear Frankly, pick something YOU want to do, learn or experience and take it on. You are too old for everything.

[@saidsujaa9419]

We need to learn that before raising a child we need to teach and educate our selves first and Watch our language !!! Thank you for ALL your videos!

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Well said!

[@angelalumwai6164]

Thanks for reminding us about the things we know we couldn't say to our children but do when we loose it. What I personally do not feel easy with is your saying, "no it is not the most psychologically damaging thing to many of the things we say." If a child continually hear one or two of the same thing on a regular basis. In my opinion they wold be the most damaging thing they can say to a child. However, parents unable to deal with frustrations, use many, if not all of these on a regular basis and cause their children long term inadequacy and a feeling of failure for the the rest of their life.

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Angela Lurn Wai, thank you for the feedback, I am going by my experience, but you are right when we hear one thing over and over again it sinks in.

[@shepherdbella]

I'm so very grateful my parents never ever said any of those words to us!! 💪❣🙏 Our ex DIL came into the marriage with a hidden plane!! load of baggage of her serious family's dysfunctions, which of course she carried forward. She became verbally abusive in a narcissistic way and talked down to our grandchildren as they were growing up, was unsupportive, played favorites and even acted jealous towards her own kids!! Our son had an iron rule in their house having a whole different positive productive mindset... the word CAN'T was not allowed to be spoken by the children but encouragement to do their BEST, how to problemsolve, with him rolemodeling! As they grew older, it was revealed he was often sabotaged by his own wife! So counterproductive and painful to watch, saddling children with lifelong psychological struggles!!! She eventually was diagnosed with mental illness and lost all custody. Thank you for your educational public videos! 😇

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Shepherd Bella, thank you!

[@loveisaverb9361]

Glad to be here and so glad you are on this planet!! Thank you for your wisdom

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Honored to be on your team, Laura Rose.

[@nadhiagurrola491]

I never say them but thanks my parents said all of those things to me.

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Nadhia Gurrola, glad you are choosing to parent positively.

[@delphi24]

My 8 year old daughter begins most things by saying “I can’t,” and it’s heartbreaking. I don’t think my husband or I have ever said she couldn’t do something, but perhaps our actions have played a part in her mindset? We usually reassure her that she can do all of these things she claims she can’t or help guide her. I really hope we’re helping her to realise that she’s an amazing, lovable and capable young lady.

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Kate Nelson, praise her efforts and when she is in the right mood, ask her why she thinks she can't do some things.

[@src4409]

My grandmother always said "can't never did anything". This was mind altering to me. It really made me realize that I needed to explain my issue better... or try harder.

[@miffedcuttlefish6139]

My father raised me to know that everyone, even the people that love me will let me down throughout life. That is the truth, and it didn't damage me psychologically, or emotionally. And whenever it came out, and it did usually, it was like water off a duck's back.

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Miffred Cuttlefish, good to know we are all human and will make mistakes. Good lesson to learn young.

[@ROSIE112109]

Thank you Dr. Paul for keeping in a line & hitting my conscious with your words of wisdom 🙏🙏🙏💖

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Always a pleasure, ROSIE 112109.

[@flavioptferreira]

Wow, that was eye-opening, for my children's sake but especially for ME! Thank you Dr. Paul!

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Thank you for watching, Flavio Ferreira, honored to be on your team.

[@RainbowWindchime]

Most, if not all were said to me.. I am making my way through now, and also trying in helping those with similar experiences.

[@sarathieniranjana2146]

This is my favourite KZbin channel.Thank you so much for your guidance.all these things help me to be a very good mother.

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Sangeeth Niranjana, thank you. If you know of anyone that could use the message, please feel free to share.

[@Firelady65]

My 4yr and 5yr old Grandchildren moved in with me... This is an awesome video and thank you, CAN'T is not allowed in my house. I psychologically damaged my children as the damaging torch was unfortunately without any knowledge of the evil self worth powers it held. NOT this time!! My grand kids will not feel insecure, they will always know they tried. or gave it their best shot first.

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Thank you for watching and commenting, Firelady65. I truly believe that people do the best they can with the knowledge and resources they have at the time. What you did as a parent was the best you could do. When you know better, do better (Maya Angelou).

[@JenniferVerdin]

Great advise as always! Love this channel. 😊

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Thanks, Jennifer Verdin. Glad to have you at Live On Purpose.

[@jamesbonde253]

Well spoken. Life and death is in the power of the tongue. That which is spoken in Love brings life and that which is spoken in spite shall bring about ruins.

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

James Bonde, thank you. Beautifully said.

[@dreamtoonofficialchannel]

Take a breath, relax, that was just a bad day, not bad life. You can sleep now." -Another Yourself 😘😍

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Love it.

[@Meirele]

Very good. When I hear some parents say some of these things to their children I feel sorry for those kids. Every father should see this before the first sun.

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Words are so powerful, Meirele. Thank you for being here.

[@maryhamilton2027]

All of those things we said to kids years ago now wonder so many of us oops have suffered childhood depression and adult depression as well God bless us all

[@raulduke1528]

I have watched many of your videos already. Thank you so much I am very grateful. For the first time in a very long time my son told me he loved me today. Your methods work, they really work.

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Wonderful! I am happy for you, Raul Duke.

[@jenbosaw2870]

Hey you guys, I do believe that we all have the best of intentions when we have children. That being said, I don't think anyone sets out to damage a kid. What kind of person would actually set out to damage their own child? Over here just wondering because it's hard to be a parent. Thanks and good luck!

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Jen Bosaw, yes, I truly believe that most parents do the best they can with the knowledge and resources they have at the time. Unfortunately, there are some parents who intentionally hurt their children, and that is extremely sad. Thank you for watching.

[@kassandrab665]

This is so powerful. I can't thank you enough for these videos. I am so happy I just discovered you. You're spot on with everything.

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Welcome! Doe eyed beauty, glad to have you in our positive community.

[@shabnum2010]

I honestly love this episode... “you can’t” yes you can 😍😍😍

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

shab nite, glad you enjoyed it. Thanks for being a part of our positive community.

[@silvergirl2847]

Thank you for your channel so eye opening.

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

You are welcome, sylvia timoney. Thank you for watching.

[@joejackson6453]

Stunning, where else do we get to hear such important truths. Dr Paul is THE most authentic teacher I have come across. I may be Walking in the Footsteps of a Giant, but it's a great problem to have🧠👏👏👏

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

You are very kind, Joe Jackson. I love doing this and am honored to have you on the channel!

[@flouncymagoo9766]

Along with "now what did you do?" I'd say that acting exasperated when your child comes to you and saying "now what do you want?" is very damaging. Like you're such a burden and you ask so much! I got that so often...I grew up a very frustrated and low esteemed individual

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Actions can speak louder than words, Cheyenne Wendegatz. We didn't get to those. Great point, thanks.

[@nightmaresandbutterflies1058]

Aw..hey hope u know nw that that aint true..n ur never a burden.n so many people love u.n look up to.u!☺️

[@godewakana9016]

Amazing learn a lots from your video. Thank you for sharing.

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

You are most welcome, Gode Wakana. Honored to be on your team.

[@JessicaTang9202019]

Thank you so much Dr.Paul,always waiting for positive parenting video everyday before i go to sleep to remind myself that my job is to love my child no matter.😊😊😊

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Hi Jessica Ilano. Thank you for watching.

[@SavingWithShaniqua]

My mom said these things to me all the time. 💔

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Healing, Growing & Manifesting, honored to be on your team.

[@rachelg.2593]

So eye opening. Definitely applies to adults too

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Rachel G., yes it does. Adults need to get their act together and model what good behavior looks like.

[@petarkolev6928]

This is one of the most valuable videos I have watched !!!

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Thanks, Petar Kolev.

[@Enthubandi]

Thank you for these informative Videos, they help a lot

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

You are welcome, kriti tiwari. Honored to be on your team.

[@Eritb2288]

Alright, I will keep coming to learn and support this program.👏🏽thanks

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Awesome, we need to be force for positivity, Askalu Tewelde.

[@baranypaiz7050]

I always encourage my children and thought I am doing things right, but now I feel so guilty that I’m actually crying 😢 😔 I have said few of those words to them like they never clean their rooms or they never help😔..., thank you for your video

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Baran, I believe every parent does the best they know how with what they have. Now that you are more informed, you can move forward with how to do better. Thank you for watching.

[@HeronCoyote1234]

My stpdtr’s mother and grandmother, with whom she lived the first 13 yrs of her life, quite often “reminded” her of how stupid and ugly and bad she was. Actually, she’s smart, mature, beautiful, funny, creative, caring... I keep telling her she was told that she was ugly, etc for two reasons: they were jealous of her beauty and intelligence, and she reminded them of her dad. He and I have been trying to repair the damage for three yrs now. It’s not easy, but she’s worth it.

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

So glad you can be another voice, Curlieq55. Keep talking and she can rise above the negativity.

[@erickmello5667]

Thanks again ✌ Keep posting, it's quality.

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

I just wrapped up another filming day for next month, Erick Mello. Thank you for watching.

[@Alnatureza]

You are an angel! Thank you for doing this!!!

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Honored to be on your team, Alnatureza. Thank you for watching.

[@davidusa47]

Our toddlers say “I can’t” all the time (usually during tantrums). My wife and I invariably respond, “yes, you can! You can do anything!” Doesn’t help. No idea where they get it from.

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

David McDevitt, during a tantrum, they aren't listening, just trying to manipulate. They are feeling out of control and don't know how to get it back.

[@cchap2386]

That is absolutely untrue. Check out Janet Lansbury's blog to update your understanding of tantrums.

[@GardenMinistry.]

Mine are 2 and 3 and they certainly seem to be manipulative when they're throwing tantrums, which is daily. I never cave into whatever it is they are "tantrumming" about.... they get a quiet time to process those emotions (usually 2-5 minutes in their room alone or accompanied), then we'll talk like civilized people, does the trick for me! Doesn't work as well outside of home, but it's a work in progress.

[@midorirora1621]

Thank you for this. Ive been quite harsh at times. Thank you for teaching me to be a better parent. I'm a good mum but I wish to be better and this helps, even if it's only this. Thank you.

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Midori Rora, Glad to have you at Live On Purpose TV.

[@IAmJeka]

Jeez... Reading this comments makes me realize how lucky I got with mine. How did I end up this messed up though? Actually he just started to talk about the lies parents tell us to protect us. That unfortunately my parents did do!

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Jeka E Franco, All parents are human and make mistakes, just wish all were that, mistakes and not cruelty.

[@theresag1969]

"Shut up!" I was repeatedly made fun of when I spoke and I was constantly told to shut up. I did for a year twice as a child and no one noticed. I no longer have a relationship with my family of origin.

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

1969Vanessa G, glad you are surrounding yourself with more positive people.

[@murphyshsu]

“Shut up” definitely hurts.

[@gabrielaczanner2627]

Same here.

[@dailykaizen8313]

It sounds like you have chosen to define yourself based on your hurt feelings over your childhood reaction to two words "shut up". honestly, not communicating with your family of origin is a really hurtful thing to do to yourself and them. You walk around with that pain because you never reconciled it. You don't necessarily need closure from your family to heal BTW. also you need to get a grip and understand that shut up is not always a personal attack... sometimes people do need to be told to shut up. I sympathize with your pain but truthfully you are in the wrong.

[@theresag1969]

@@dailykaizen8313 Daily, do you know me or are you making assumptions from one comment. I wish your response was more circumspect and cogent without relying on assumptions. Try again.

[@tanjaolivier7959]

Thank you 😊 I really needed this video. Just shared it with all my friends and family ❤️

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Thank you for sharing, Tanha Olivier, that helps a lot.

[@lilyof2valley]

Hello from France. Thanks for your advices. As far as I'm concerned, the advice I prefer is not lying them, even little lies. And it remembers me my childhood and when I discovered that Santa Claus doesn't exist. We found our new bikes outside the house before. Nearly 30years later, I remember having lost a part of my confidence in my parents this day but not also them, every adults (at school, sport, etc...) . Why is it so difficult today to educate his children without false fairyland (tooth fairy, dreamcatcher,...) ? All this is fake and consumerism and children will one day know and be confused with your lies. Have a nice week sir!

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Thank you for your thoughtful comment, Lielie Benattia. Honored to have you at Live On Purpose TV. Best wishes back to France!

[@heartz500]

I was terribly bullied in middle school to the point I was harming myself. I felt so ugly and unwanted I didn’t even have a single friend. I didn’t know how to communicate these feelings to my mom I was so frustrated and had tantrums in the mornings going to school when every excuse not to go wasn’t working. And my mom would yell at me ‘you’re crazy! God knows the reason why you’re avoiding school, are you a loser at school Is that why??’ Omg I thank God I made it through it all but still won’t forget the trauma

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Kimmy Khaira, I am sorry to hear this happened. So many conflicting feelings in middle school and we don't need a parent adding to the mix.

[@247Faithkeeper]

Every time I tried to speak up for myself if I was asked a question about any conversation, when my mom wasn't around to defend me, my Aunts would always say, "oh you don't know anything, you don't know what you're talking about."

[@pattyla6886]

Great video! Thank you.

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Glad you liked it!

[@MIB563]

Your amazing and quite wonderful. Thank you for this incredible information.

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

You are most welcome, MIB. Thank you for watching.

[@eliadavis3881]

Your amazing! I always look up to your videos for advice and become the most supporting and loving parent I can be.

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

I love to hear those words, Elia Davis. So glad to hear you are showing up for your child everyday, that is what they need.

[@khaddin4797]

So true. I agree with every single thing you say.

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Khad din, thank you!

[@sb2017.]

My mother would say all of those. I grew up with insecurity and fear and so much lack of confidence. Failed at almost everything growing up and even in my young adulthood

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

I have heard this from way too many people, (actually one is too many). So glad you can see through what was said to you and create another mantra for yourself, S B.

[@lolaj6488]

I can’t forget when my mother used to tell me, “you don’t deserve the air you breath. Also she told me, “I should had exploded instead of delivered you” wow, that’s really bad what happens to me 😪

[@tecumseha]

That is so sad, Maria. I am sorry you had to endure hearing those words. Please know that what she said is not a reflection of you. As a mother, I have unfortunately said some things I regret to my children, & that is MY fault for losing control. 😥 Dr. Paul has said in other videos that he believes most parents do the best they know how with the things they have been taught from their own parents & with the resources they have available to them. I've come to believe that as well. Lastly (sorry, didn't mean for this to be so long), I don't know if you have struggled with this, but remember - forgiveness is freeing. I love this saying I heard a long time ago: "Holding a grudge is like taking poison yourself, hoping the other person will die." I hope you can or have forgiven her so that you are able to move on with your life. Good luck, sister. 💙

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

maria jacomino, no one should be subject to those words and though they were directed at you, they were more about your mother. You are of worth just because human life is valuable and so you are going to have to do some self-talk to believe the opposite. We are glad to have you at Live On Purpose and hope you are with us for a very long time.

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Very good points, Tecumseh A. Thank you for being so supportive.

[@Diabola_Innocens]

when i was 14, my mother said to me "if i knew how you'd turn out i had done an abortion!"... when i was little, she often told me "you can't". when she wanted me to do something (like tidying up my room) and i felt like it was too much for me i said "i can't". she only reacted by saying "telling 'i can't' just means that you don't want to!"... beating me for mistakes while i was doing my homework, often saying to me "you're terrible", going out and leaving me alone in the house until midnight (when i was only 7!)... there's hardly anything worse for a psychological development. i don't wonder anymore why i stopped loving her. a child's love to a mother isn't unconditional. especially when a mother's love to her child isn't unconditional (like my mother's love wasn't unconditional to me).

[@valentineattard2344]

Very cool, thank you for the advice.

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

You are welcome, valentine attard, thank you for watching.

[@Natedoc808]

Anytime broaching a hard to stomach topic like death, which unfortunately we have had to deal with historically and very recently, I always say, “I’d like us to talk about “x” because I know you can handle it/are ready for it.”

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Natedoc808, what a great intro.

[@Natedoc808]

Caveat, you need to know your child is indeed ready for the conversation and tailor it to their current level, that way they don’t feel I inadequate if you go above their level and begin to have self doubt.

[@yvonneroep5698]

wow, I feel good after watching this video. I hardly use any of these words. Well, I THINK (I hope it is true) that hardly any parents say these things in my country. I believe it is very uncommon to say these phrases. Although, of course, like ALL parents, I ALWAYS use 'never' and 'always'. no wait, actually, i grew out of that. I only sometimes say them to my husbound. Before I know it, it's out. Working on that. But seriously, I learned quite a bit from your videos, I am just happy that there are very little steps to be taken after seeing this one. Thanks for cheering me up

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Yvonne Roep, glad to have you at Live On Purpose. I am hoping with more education, less parents will be saying these things.

[@cdo8994]

I wish to find your radio sooner. The sad part about this talk is my mother has used all of those psychological damaging things on your list to me and I’m her only daughter among the boys. Isn’t that weird? I should be spoiled but not at all. She always claims how much she loves us. Well, the only weapon that parents love to use to damage the kids psychologically is LOVE. Even though I developed mental illness for 20 yrs until present, I still managed to forgive & love her as my mother but couldn’t forget for sure. I’ve committed to suicide few times & ended up in psych unit. My parents thought that it was all my faults that I had mental problems. I’m doing much better now with psychological therapy throughout my adulthood. As a parent, I will try my best not to repeat what I’ve experienced to my children. I studied child development, worked with children, read many psychology articles & learned so many parenting techniques from all kind of resources just to help myself to understand & be the best mom to my 2 kids.

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

C Do, I love how you have educated yourself and continue to do so you can live a healthier and happier life.

[@cdo8994]

@@LiveOnPurposeTV My husband and I decided to homeschool my kids. I worked in child care facility & school district before I was pregnant. It’s not an easy task to homeschool children, but we want to give it a try that’s why I want to invest my full-time motherhood to my little ones. I always wish that my mother was there when I was growing up since she was such a busy business woman. Could you please discuss about how to prepare & what to expect while homeschooling children? Thank you.

[@0judi0bartel74]

This man is gold.

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Thank you!

[@dcl1778]

Thank you, I found you when I needed the most to hear this! 🙏🏼💐

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

D L, love to hear it.

[@libbylife7161]

Thank you! You are amazing! God bless you!

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Honored to be on your team, Libby Riggin.

[@lalalajuice]

And to realize my mother did all of this to me and If I acted out of frustration and said anything negative back to her, id get beat. I had to shut up and take it. Not say a word. Yea i didnt have a father. But I did have an uncle as a father figure that I found dead when I was 7. Have ptsd from all this now.

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Marita Ludvig, that is a lot to go through. I hope you you can get the help you need to reframe this upbringing and use it to serve yourself.

[@prometheus160]

God bless you Doc.

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Thank you, Pro Metheus.

[@a22lovelife66]

Wow, the link with fear ! That s spot on with what I needed to hear for myself. Thanks :)

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Hi A22 Lovelife, haven't heard from you in a bit, glad you liked the video.

[@michaeljacksonearthangel5849]

Thank you for caring S💝 much about children (of all ages)!

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Michael Jackson Stories, I am glad it shows. I love all people.

[@daniellemelendez3544]

My narcissistic mother told me almost everyday how she wished she didnt have children and how my siblings and I were such a burden. She would say how I made her feel like she was in jail and that she wished she could leave all of us including my father one day. Of course she only said this when my amazing father was at work.

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

2 ADMEL 3, sounds like she was suffering from depression, glad you realize it is more about her than you.

[@AmyLarien]

Are you a sibling of mine? My mother was like that and she kept saying as well that she was prettier and smarter than me 🤦‍♀️

[@drest5316]

AmyLarien That breaks my heart for you, what an awful way to be toward your own kids!

[@parent-alerte2562]

pray for her!

[@daniellemelendez3544]

@@AmyLarien Oh yes I understand. My mother will say those things in a passive aggressive manner though. She HAS to criticize my outfit everyday. She will be like "you're wearing green today? Why? HA! You look like... the grinch." She also claims that she was so much better in school than I was as a kid. She loved rubbing that in my face. When I was a child she made me feel like I was so stupid.

[@blueorangey]

Just AMAZING!!! You are!!

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Thank you, honored to be on your team.

[@littlequickfire3296]

Being told by a parent you're not who you should be or you are not who they expected you to be. Also good or bad comparisons to other people. These are things I want to avoid with my children because they create such a heavy burden of shame and guilt in just being themselves. I want to nurture and build them up without having my ego involved and guide them away from harmful behaviors without also making it about me.

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Kelsey Hinton, sounds like you are on the right track and a positive parent.

[@nicoletaalinagheorghe9595]

Thank you very very much!

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

You are welcome!