What is your worth if you depreciate yourself?

[@melanievaccaro6944]

Hello Dear Ana, this subject really resonate with me. You might not be a guru but your videos have definitely helped me in a lot of ways. I absolutely love your quote " let yourself take more space in your own heart " , beautifully said. Have a good week.

[@anagoldberg]

Thank you so much, dear Melanie 💛 You too, have a beautiful week!

[@EmA-sm8se]

Thank you so much for your recent videos. They come at the right time. My entire life, I have been taught never to be proud of anything and to never take credit because it comes from God's blessings. However, this has resulted in very low self-esteem and self deprecation. I am 46 and only now trying to break free and take ownership and pride in my achievements. I'm also learning to be kind and loving towards myself and not always afraid of some kind of Godly judgement/punishment.

[@anagoldberg]

Thank you so much for sharing your story, my friend 💙 I hope your path to self-love is smooth. I always believed that we're here for a reason, to live our own experience, have our personal moments of happiness and sadness, and this is the beauty of life that knows no judgement.

[@EmA-sm8se]

@Ana Goldberg thank you ❤. I started this highly emotional journey a few months ago when my son turned 18. We are all love and light ❤

[@eduardadimas1571]

I always enjoy the time you share here with all of us; you are so kind, compassionate and beautiful and, I think, is not common in our days. You are a blessing. And for that I thank you. Sending love from Lisboa 💖💚

[@kathrynbythelake9638]

Last year, I was tasked by my counselor to list my strengths, and I could not. I realized I had no comprehension of what that would mean in relation to myself. However, many people believe me to be a strong person, self aware, educated, kind, creative. I suppose I am all of those things yet I see those as a base line, attributes that all humans cultivate in themselves to some extent. I do say "you are welcome" when I am thanked, because it makes me feel good to have helped someone else, and I don't wish to devalue their gratitude by saying it was no big deal. I still have trouble with receiving compliments or recognition, but I try to squeak out a thanks and smile awkwardly. I am a work in progress and a big part of my journey is accepting this about myself.

[@tedallenwolff]

Great topic Ana! When given a compliment about a musical recording or performance, I would thank them, but then deflect the compliment off of me and onto the music itself. I'd say something like "oh yes, that is a great tune isn't it! I really love that piece". I'd pass the compliment over to the music instead of letting it stay with me, where it was intended! And although I spent 50 very productive years playing music I've never felt comfortable calling myself a musician. Instead I would say "I studied music or I was a music student". Never could fully own my achievement. Now that I'm retired it's a little easier to recognize the effort I put in, the gratitude of students I've taught, and the enthusiasm of those who've seen me perform. You're correct that we adopt this way of looking at ourselves from parents, teachers, and/or friends we look up to and trust. We learn this as children. Thank you for posting this deep dive into such an important subject.

[@anagoldberg]

Dear Ted, thank you for sharing your story. I guess, the majority of artistic and creative people find it hard to accept compliments on their performance/achievements. Maybe because it's also believed in society that creatives are kind of "lazy, useless" citizens, unlike people of generally acknowledged prestigious professions. It's just a thought. But I'm so glad to hear that now you're giving yourself more praise and acknowledgment, it's so important! Thank you for being here 💫

[@cecilia9160]

I think we all agree that her videos are a warm cottage that feels so safe

[@zanereksna2543]

As I am also from a post-Soviet country, I understand your sentiment! I was also brought up to be humble, quiet and grateful. Anyone who was a little brighter or more self-confident was considered arrogant. Now that I am 31, I am trying to figure out how to be more self-appreciative for myself without the self-recrimination of appearing "narcissistic". Great video, as always :)

[@JAlanRyker]

Sorry for being so self-deprecating... Now I'm self-deprecating about my self-deprecation!

[@waywrdsun]

Thanks for illuminating another trait I want to examine in myself, Ana. "No worries" is my standard answer to "thank you". I need to look at that. I really appreciate the lack of sensationalism in your content. Your videos are calming to my system, which is a rare treat online.

[@anagoldberg]

It's so kind of you to say this, Jason. Thank you ✨ Wishing you a beautiful week ahead!

[@williamclark1244]

'When we value ourselves, when we are empathetic with ourselves we nurture the same attitude towards others' - This is so very true. You are truly a blessing. I am very grateful for your change.

[@miriamk.5644]

Dear Ana, I could relate to much of what you've been talking about. I have also been raised to be modest most of the time and to not have or show any desires of my own (or else to put them after other people's desires), to a point where I couldn't even quite sense them anymore. I've come a long way and am slowly acquiring more self-esteem. It's not easy, though, and I'm struggling a lot on this journey. Recently, I almost cried when my psychologist told me that she thought of me as a really loveable person, and that she found it a pity if I withdrew myself from other people and didn't let them get to know me. It really brought tears into my eyes. Please let me tell you that I think of you as an extremely loveable and special person as well and I am so glad that you are sharing here on KZbin and let us be a part of your journey. Your success is not by chance at all. It's your bright personality that attracts many people, like me. 🙂

[@anagoldberg]

Thank you so much for your kindness, dear Miriam 💜 Sending lots of love!

[@hippyelise1]

This video hit my heart strings. My dad passed in 2021. I was the main caregiver with my mom. Not everything always went perfect at all. I deal with this everyday. Thanks for giving me hope and something to think about. 💜

[@anagoldberg]

I'm so sorry for your loss and what you have to go through, dear Elise 💙There's always hope, there's always love.

[@tshidimokone6595]

I think this topic fits the HSP Which I am one. Perfectionism is one priority to prove oneself. Downplaying on one achievements. You are spot on.

[@anagoldberg]

Thank you for being here, Tshidi 🌷 You're right, this has so much to do with high sensitivity...

[@rhosymedra6628]

I'm glad you mentioned how being self deprecating can be a survival mechanism. I recognized when you were talking that yes this did help me get through some difficult situations but maybe it doesn't help so much now that I am safer. As always your videos are so thoughtful and kind!

[@loriwilliams2167]

Whenever I start to get down about things, I remember what I've been through and how far I've come. My husband died 13 years ago and I had to raise my children on my own. It has made me a much stronger person and I am always grateful for what and who I have in my life. Really enjoyed this video Ana. Sending love from the U.S. 💕

[@loriwilliams2167]

@@sharonneth4231 thank you so much💕

[@anagoldberg]

Dear Lori, you're an admirable, beautiful soul 💙 Sending lots of love to the US!

[@EmA-sm8se]

I can completely relate. I have raised my son alone since he was a newborn facing tremendous adversity, financial hardship, and chronic abuse from my ex. I am only now taking a look at my traumas and healing. Despite being a single mom, I worked so, so hard with multiple jobs and began a side business of property ownership and rentals. It nearly killed me - it was so difficult. But never once was I proud of myself....only constantly worried about finances. It only dawned on me recently, and with this video, how far I have come and how proud I should be. I started off in life with a few clothes, baby clothes, and my dishes. I have lived in too much fear to be proud.

[@loriwilliams2167]

@@EmA-sm8se Sounds like you have been on a journey too. It's amazing what we are capable of when we have no choice but to push forward. You should be very proud! Wishing you love, peace, good health and the best that life has to offer 🙏 💕

[@EmA-sm8se]

@@loriwilliams2167 thank you ❤ we are all one 🙏

[@Anita-rq9ev]

Thank you Ana. I have to say that my answer was E. It wasn't always like that, but I manage now. Feels good 😊. Of course, once in a while I feel less worth than on other days, but I try my best not to let it happen too often. I remember following sentence which I read when I'm not at my best: "these are only thoughts, it doesn't mean they are true". Stay safe 🙏

[@anagoldberg]

Oh, you've given inspiration and motivation to be better with an E answer to me and many other people here! Thank you Anita💙 And the quote is so grounding...

[@Anita-rq9ev]

@@anagoldberg you are welcome (and this shows appreciation for the giver and the taker) 😊

[@catherinerhyno9581]

More valuable advice...was thinking as you were talking, that if I had written this as an essay, I would have called it "Things That I Don't Want to Admit About Myself." Also realizing that I can't change what I don't want to acknowledge.

[@zeronemad6596]

Dear Ana, thank you very much for your work. I appreciate your views on the post-soviet mind set, on what it means to live with a psychology that was shaped by politics. Your views on self-depreciation, poverty-and scarcity mindset resonate to many. But also, I find, your long search for a true home. The feeling of being an outcast within the a world of western standards for achievement and belonging shines through and it means a lot that you share your videos. Thanks again!

[@agalimovlife]

love yourself, learn to believe and trust yourself by doing things that YOU want to do. Thank you Ana)

[@anagoldberg]

So true, Aidar! Thank you for being here 🌿

[@kathyesargent9088]

Just remember God loves you and you are beautiful inside and out❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

[@sunflower-oo1ff]

I love your wise words…also appreciate to see where you are living right now…the city, the Cafe…the local art scene 🧡it’s a break from my own surroundings since I am not travelling that much but busy working and with family.🌻

[@anagoldberg]

Oh, I'm so glad you enjoyed those little snippets of Belgrade that I decided to include 🌿😊 Sending much love to you, dear friend.

[@VeVeJT23]

I was just thinking about this, last night! Such an interesting topic. My answer to thanks is almost always “you’re welcome”, but I have definitely learned to devalue myself. In the corporate world, I faced a lot of weird jealousy that I still don’t fully understand. Then I had a manager at my last job who didn’t value women and I realized the easiest way to work with him was to let him feel correct and “lead” even if it was in the wrong direction. I just wanted to do my job, not make anyone unhappy and go home.

[@galebecker3487]

Hi Ana, thank you for your video. I remenber so clearly going to ballet classes as, a young personand loving them. During one of the classes someone said to me, you can never be a ballerina because you are so tall. I never went back, I was 12 at the time. I never wanted to be a famous ballerina I just enjoyed the classes,but felt so self conscious after that. Its a small thing but has stayed with me up until now, at age 63. I also find it hard to receive a gift from someone, i always feel why would someone buy me something. I also find it hard accepting comments about my cooking and crafts. So thank you for discussing this topic. Take care Gale x

[@anagoldberg]

Hi Gale, would you believe me if I say that I had the same ballet experience? 😅 My mom brought me to ballet classes at the age of 8, I was the tallest and with the longest feet, I was given no chance😄 But a scar was left in my heart. The first, most important step is to understand what we feel and where these feelings come from. I strongly believe that your path will be getting lighter and more fulfilled with every day 💙 Sending much love, my friend.

[@nyella]

Dear Ana, you are no guru and in the world of self-help, your humility and openness are a very important and refreshing attitude. But in line with the theme of your video, I hope that you can see and appreciate what you do for so many of your audience. Not as a guru, but certainly as a friendly guide

[@anagoldberg]

So kind of you to say this, dear friend. Thank you from the bottom of my heart 💜

[@sandiemable]

There was a difficult time when I felt I didn't matter; I could disappear, and no one would notice. I had to realize that I, along with everyone else, made a difference in this world whether or not someone else noticed or cared. Getting to this point was a hard road to travel. I did it; I matter; every single one of us matters. Be yourself...love yourself, and be happy. xoxo's Sandie🤗

[@anagoldberg]

Dear Sandie, you are such a strong human... Thank you for your story and insights, it's very supportive 💛 Sending lots of love!

[@julienelson8162]

My goodness gracious. You have become my therapist! Your thoughtful videos always seem to come to me at the precise moment I need them, OR I am increasingly realizing that I hunger for gentle guidance, soft awareness, and a love that passes through time and continents. At my age (73), I’m supposed to have figured all this out, but I am also aware of the fact that the day we stop really thinking, evaluation, assessing, looking forward, seeing with the soul is the days our lives really end. So, there you have it. For several years now, you have guided me on this journey, and for that I thank you. The timeliness of subject matter always seems to mesh with my crazy(?) mind, and with your help, I now begin each day with determination to be a better person than I was the day before, and I end each day with a gentle evaluation of how I did that day. Perhaps that is one of the keys to it all . . . Being gentle with ourselves. This I have learned from you. Thank you from the very depth of my soul.

[@anagoldberg]

Dear Julie, thank you so much for spending your time to write this message. It's truly important and precious to me, your words and sincere support give me the courage not to stop. It's a very generous gift... I'm sending you lots of love, good thoughts, and understanding 💙

[@Elinal23567]

I came back to you after that one viral video that talked to me...your newest content is even more relatable and personal, thank you for what you are doing ☺️

[@melaniebeltran7204]

this is something that I struggle with severely >< I love how you so compassionately speak on this subject, thank you and I wish you well on your journey to overcome self-depreciation

[@emiliasees]

I really resonate with this topic and I loved how you spoke about it 💓. For years, I also saw myself as a victim but more and more I am turning the table on those negative thoughts.

[@amandachapman4708]

Thank you for your thoughtful and thought-provoking videos. There is a Buddhist idea from Japan, that a sharp sword can be forged only by being tempered many times. This means that the steel is heated and beaten over and over again, but each time the steel becomes stronger and the blade can become sharper. As for myself, I try to remember that I have survived many difficult times and still, here I am, so that means I have strength like the sharp sword.

[@nenazecevic7067]

Dear Ana, Video je izuzetno zanimljiv,kao i uvek. Trebalo mi je dosta vremena da malo podignem moje samopouzdanje i da zavolim sebe onakvu kakva jesam a ne kakva sam trebala biti. Moj odgovor je pod E. Veliki pozdrav.🥰😍🥰

[@anagoldberg]

Draga Nena, thank you so much for sharing! It's always so inspiring to hear from you 💙 Much love!

[@SuperMomMac]

Wonderful video Ana. I was raised by very strict Polish Catholic parents and Became a pleaser to all. It is too much. Everyone needs to have a positive self worth. You should never depreciate yourself, you are so right!

[@rogercrettol7166]

So good to meet you again, precious woman. I fall easily in self-deprecating patterns, but have become more conscious of it recently. Maybe this old dog can still unlearn old tricks... Thank you, and stay well.

[@anagoldberg]

Thank you, Roger 🌺 Changes and transformations know no years!

[@NavEngineer]

Hi Ana, I found your channel a couple of weeks ago & enjoy the way you share your stories. This one was great as well, thank you.

[@anagoldberg]

Hi Vincent! I'm so glad to meet you here 🌿 Thank you!

[@sharonshmuel3386]

Another wonderful video Ana thanks so much. As I am now older (64 at the end of this month) I have learnt to say NO & also to respond with an E. It wasn’t always like that though, when I was younger I always put others before me. I enjoy your content & photos. Sending you both lol ❤ have a happy week 🙏😘

[@anagoldberg]

You're an inspiration, Sharon! Thank you, dear friend 💜 Much love to you!

[@the_exiled_soul]

I can’t express how much I love your videos and how much they help me ❤ I’m so glad I’ve found you 🥰

[@lauracanna2201]

Thank you for this video, I recognised myself a lot in some of the things you said. Years of psychotherapy have helped me to change a lot of this but sometimes I still fall in the same mistakes (sometimes I just can't help myself in put others first but I have definitely improved and able to say no if I don't want to).

[@ilyauneroute8944]

F : You own me one 😇

[@mazahaka321]

Спасибо Вам. Мне пришлось переехать в другую страну, резко сменить круг общения и работу, но я начинаю понимать, что это идёт мне на пользу, впервые за 3 года я направил фокус на себя, в следствие чего начал задавать себе вопросы, на которые нахожу ответы в Ваших видео. Вы большая молодец, успехов! ♥️

[@anagoldberg]

Спасибо большое за теплые слова, Арман! Желаю, чтобы все у Вас сложилось самым прекрасным образом 🌿

[@tmc2571]

At 64 I wonder if I am too old to start appreciating myself after a lifetime of putting myself down. But the idea of celebrating any small achievement may be a place to start. You make me hopeful. Hi from Scotland.

[@nicoledaspit9466]

You are definitely not too old! I am guessing that you are a very kind and compassionate person to others and that you do not typically put others down. Someone once told me that when you are considering helping someone else or you feel compassion for others, simply start trying to remember to include yourself. This helped me because I didn't feel scolded for lack of self love, but invited to simply extend my circle of compassion to include myself. So, for instance if I got a request to do something for someone or a group of people, I started to make sure to check in with myself and feel compassion for my own needs and include that in the consideration. I could say yes or no, but not do something at the expense of my well being. I am finding that my help or service is actually more helpful to others if I am also well and fully present - that may be the most important part of the offering. And just noticing that when I put myself down, like, huh, look at that, I would never say that to someone else, why would I say it to myself? And just gradually letting that awareness trickle into your self talk and the change starts happening kind of naturally if that makes sense. Sending a hug to you, it gets easier! :)

[@tmc2571]

@@nicoledaspit9466 Thank you for your encouraging words. It is so true that many of the things I say to myself I would never dream of saying to someone else. Something to work on.

[@nicoledaspit9466]

@@tmc2571 You are welcome! I'm sure there are more reasons, but I think we end up with those critical voices because either someone actually said those kinds of things to us and were very critical, or we feared that because we saw it happen to others and so we put ourselves down first as a kind of protective strategy or just conditioning to be perfect from society, family, or work situations. I think we can extend compassion to ourselves for just knowing that we have somehow learned those things and internalized them probably pretty early on - here's to more gentleness with these parts of ourselves!

[@cmst6408]

good topic Ana, I'm working on this. And encourage others too. Had a cashier other day that down played when I gave compliments and felt bad for her. bUT realize I do it too and sometimes can be a habit to down grade one's self. i find it easy to get stuck in negative on myself and and dont want that on others. So trying hard to be more compassionate and give myself 'flowers' too. I also like the little steps you give and breaking of asolutes. 🌼🏵💓

[@VeraGolosovaArt]

I know this pattern so well. I am recovering from it, I think. What I struggle the most now is a difficulty to feel good about myself when I definitely know how bad situation in the world is and the I know people who have it so much worse. And at those moments I tend to belittle myself. Even if I know perfectly well that this is a coping mechanism. Having a KZbin channel is actually a huge therapeutic practice for me. Love you, Ana ❤ Ps: I am so ready to de-friend you and Karina for not sending me damned selfies even after the second time you met 😂 (joking here, of course, I am crazy happy that you seem to like each other and share this love of collage, but selfie😭😭😭❤)

[@anagoldberg]

Vera, I promise, next time we'll do that selfie! 😅 Sending lots of love ♥

[@starteamplus]

Really nice editing here. Really enjoying your videos.

[@jeanmeierbachtol6154]

I always enjoy your thoughts thank you for sharing

[@debrabrickus8467]

I love that you are a deep thinker. It's rare today. My answer was E all the way. Although I think it's important to stay humble. I don't care for arrogant people.

[@zuzifinn]

Dear Ana, your topic choice is as always excellent and very profound :) nr. 7 resonates the most with me .... the luck :D thank you as always... much love, Z

[@anagoldberg]

Thank you for watching and resonating, dear Zuzan 🤗

[@snjez2762]

Thank you, you're the best!

[@dannysmith2794]

Thank you Ana, Best wishes

[@anagoldberg]

Thank you, Danny 🌺

[@liammcweeney1674]

Great video Ana hope you are well

[@anagoldberg]

Thank you Liam! Hope you had a lovely weekend 🌺

[@liammcweeney1674]

@@anagoldberg was okay thanks

[@kathleenbraid5481]

Dearest Ana, you have touched on so much of my own life in this and many more of your meaningful videos._ I am seeing a counsellor again after all the doors ishut in my brain of childhood and adult depreciation have reared their ugly head again. I was left by my Mother at the age of 13 with no warning an lived with my Father who was broken as well .He still worked away 3 days a week so then I looked after myself. Then ,I could and didn,t ever tell a soul .it coloured all my life. I believed I was to blame and not worthy as so abandoned. I did not have a choice, no letter, no explanation.My older sister had gone before and both were living back in my Mother,s home land., My father went off at a tangent, with new relationships. I had no self worth ,lost friends as I went further into my own sadness.In the due course , I married at 19 and then physical and mental abuse started and continued. As before, I did not tell anyone so there continued feeling I did not deserve a happy decent care and loving life I so yearned for.So, Thank you so much and I am sorry you have felt certain traits as I and many others are feeling.I have a faith and want so dearly to start to love myself and realise that none of that was my fault..to start appreciating what gifts I have been given.Like yourself Ana, I have always put others first ,denying my own wishes and believing that is how I must always do this .,it is inbuilt of my nature, but now after a lot of illness , physical and mentally, I need to feel loved and worthy., It is a huge need I have. I know I am loved by God , he has saved my life has been.spared so many times, including beating surprising and an emergency surgery last November.I truly and deeply love people and am very grateful ,I will really have to strive to accept myself and know and believe in myself ..all that rubbish in my head needs once and for all, needs to be thrown out into the rubbish him once and for all. !! I cannot let myself be a victim anymore! My heart goes out to all who are depreciating themselves and I send my love to you and Brian and wish you a future of beautiful times together .Love and blessings ,Kathy.x

[@anagoldberg]

Dear Kathleen, I'm so sorry for what happened to you and what you've been through ♥️ Thank you for sharing this, much love sent your way 🌷

[@HerCupOfSIMPLE]

Definitely D 🥺

[@IngerSk]

Thanks for focusing on this 💞

[@mariaruiz3848]

Thank you for sharing. It is a very complex subject and for me comes from believing that you are not good enough at the subconscious level. It is the message the we form when we are little and society and religious institutions tried to impose the concept very subliminal. The tendency to put others first created the soil to devalued us. The discovery and development of a relation of love and acceptance with myself has improved my sense of self value. It is a journey and each day I am learning to nurture and hear me. Finally I am learning to love myself first. Love 💗only love 💗

[@anagoldberg]

As always, your insight deeply resonates with me, Maria. Thank you 💙

[@solidasmainlandchinabridge4293]

Thank you

[@anajardim133]

Thank you!

[@nyckolaus]

I love your videos, Ana.

[@allthebest744]

This video hit very close to home and I felt like you were talking directly to me. You can imagine my surprise when I saw all of the comments! It is difficult for me to share my accomplishments and I will brush off a compliment with humor. I’ll be watching this video again and hopefully it will sink in! Thank you Ana, you are the best. ❤️

[@anagoldberg]

Aww, I'm so glad the video was helpful 🌷 Much love to you!

[@allthebest744]

And to you sweet Ana!

[@BiotechArab]

I needed to hear it

[@akankshaspeake9551]

Thank you

[@joycestewart4893]

If one does not value one's self one can not truly value anything or anyone fully.

[@HelenaHovorkova]

Dear Ana, your video resonates with me. Thank you, I have something to think about. 🍀

[@grady4757]

❤❤❤

[@michellemontgomery-jones2579]

This subject is a hard one for me. I'm very quick to devalue myself in many ways. Usually with humor. Still, I'd like to change that. It will be something I work on.

[@anagoldberg]

🤗😘Wishing you a smooth path to self-appreciation, dear Michelle.

[@Samtasticlife37]

Namaste :)

[@mihaeladaia4673]

💙

[@butterflies7023]

Pakka pakka 🤗💕❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

[@GeeBri]

💜💜💜💜💜

[@gingermcintosh6545]

Well here’s the thing about being self-deprecating: you rob others of the power of criticism. You can’t really criticize my artwork if I already said ‘it’s just scribbles’. In that way, we protect ourselves. I think this is a technique used by people with highly critical parents. It is also a way to shut out constructive feedback. I don’t listen because I’m not really an artist, I just scribble. It’s a trick with many uses. Being honest is vulnerable, thus scary. Even being honest about our perceived accomplishments and successes. I think we haven’t yet realized that if I like it, if I think it’s good, that’s the truth. I think ‘what if I’m wrong’, because we haven’t realized that the only opinion that really matters is our own.

[@SIC647]

The little test: In my language there is only one fixed term as response to a thank you: "Det var så lidt". Meaning 'That was only little', comparable to 'It was nothing'. Our whole culture is self-depricating to the point that there is even a word for it: Janteloven, the Law Of Jante, which is "Don't think you are any better than us". It is difficult to work against, when it is your culture. But exactly with that phrase, then everal years ago I decided to start saying: "I hope it helped/ that you can use it/that it is useful to you/that you will get joy out of it". Because to me and many younger people that "It was nothing" phrase has started to feel like a prison of keeping people down.

[@nicoledaspit9466]

I have heard a lot of Janteloven - (or Jantelagen since I know more Swedes:) it's interesting, because in many ways I have always admired this cultural trait. I always thought it felt a bit like a relief that people are not boastful and always claiming credit. And probably, historically, that attitude served the community in a way by not having major power struggles with people always trying to take credit and be the more powerful person. I have heard that the San peoples of southern Africa have a similar custom to the point of where the hunter that kills the animal, is not given credit for the kill, but rather the elders of the village whose spear tip it was, who did not even participate (I may not be getting this exactly right, but something like this) that anyone who brags or tries to take credit, is teased and discouraged from doing so. I think these ideas may have been useful for a cohesive community and the idea of collective well being - an overall idea of "we are in this life together and depend on each other for survival". In the US, our society has taken the idea to such an opposite extreme where people who are braggarts and step over others, are often rewarded and that is to our society's detriment. I often wish we had a little more Janteloven! That being said, I can also see, how this idea can also have its own difficulties if you internalize that you are not much or nothing in some way. I am grateful for your sharing because I would have tended to only see that as a positive societal trait and miss the nuances of how people may internalize some negative beliefs about themselves. Perhaps what's called for is greater balance.

[@anagoldberg]

I've never heard of the Law of Jante before and quite a few people in the comments mentioned it! It's interesting and kind of frightening at once. How our society, regardless of national culture, is based on depreciation...

[@SIC647]

@nicoledaspit9466 In the book where the concept comes from (En flygtning krydser sit spor, by Axel Sandemose, 1933), it was definitely not positive. It describes a mentality where any deviation from the norm is punished severely. There was good reason to do that in the old rural societies, where people balanced between starvation and power-hungry overlords. But in a modern society, it often just leads to: "Make no effort. Don't dream. Don't use your talents or skills if they are above the average. Don't even try to succeed." Denmark is a much different society than 89 years ago, and I would say it is less bad now. But it is still something that we struggle with. Are there any good sides to it? Well, no not in itself. But also, yes because it overlays the mentality that we all take care of each other. Denmark is like an oversized village. One of the reasons we have that very well-functioning socialised system, is because it is really just an enlarged version of: "Give your neighbour a soup when she is ill, and she'll look after your kids when you need to go to market". I think the Swedish concept "lagom" is more humane. It is and not too much, not too little, just right. It is about being content with medium. Which doesn't force you down the same way.

[@SIC647]

@anagoldberg Probably a collective trauma response since the vast majority of people through history survived by bowing their necks. 😞

[@nicoledaspit9466]

@@SIC647 Thanks for sharing more about this concept. I have also read up on it a bit more in the last couple of days and I am understanding better how it may have come from keeping ones head down to appease the overlords- and as you describe well, a collective trauma response more than a positive societal encouragement. Sandemose, if I am reading him correctly, was quite funny and sarcastic in his commentary on the rules of rural societies being quite suffocating (even being from a small midwestern town in the US, there were shades of this attitude which I remember wanting to escape). I guess I was going backwards in time more back to hunter/gatherer times when a kind of cooperation and egalitarianism would have really been an advantage to survival and group cohesion. And its modern corollary like you describe in Denmark, a general looking out for others in your community and sharing of burdens and hopefully blessings too. But yeah, the soul killing "don't dream, don't stick out in any way, keep your head down.." doesn't really serve any higher purpose except for conditioning people to accept poor conditions and rendering them voiceless. I like to think that everyone's unique perceptions and gifts always add value to any society by making it more diverse, dynamic and resilient. Even so called negative traits can be helpful attributes if guided by wise community and family members.

[@donnafaithk-brooks8467]

Hi Ana, Love your videos! Wondering if you meant "deprecation", not "depreciation"?

[@anagoldberg]

Hi Donna! Thank you 🌿 No, I meant self-depreciation which is also referred to self-devaluation.

[@zuttaconsulting8178]

🌻🌻🌻🌻🏵

[@SimpleHealth83]

😀😀

[@flufftronable]

Will Brian ever make an appearance Ana?

[@anagoldberg]

Brian likes to be on the other side of the camera 😊 I posted many pictures of us together here in the previous videos and he's an integral part of our Patreon (we even did a live stream together not long time ago).

[@oneseeker2]

Yes, I remember and expect him to choose what he is comfortable with. I have zero expectation of him being part of Videos and I am perfectly fine w/that.

[@Woeschhuesli]

I‘m wondering if you mean self-deprecation, rather than depreciation? Perhaps lost in translation? Or perhaps I have misunderstood your meaning.

[@anagoldberg]

throughout the video I meant self-depreciation and self-devaluation, hope this makes it clear😘

[@Woeschhuesli]

@@anagoldberg Thankyou; on investigation, I find the terms seem to be used interchangeably. I had only ever heard/read/used self-deprecation (from a British point of view - I find UKvUS increasingly muddied). Both terms mean trying to make yourself, your abilities or your achievements seem less important (ref. Cambridge Dictionary). Always appreciate your thoughtful videos and no intention of lessening that!

[@hannedybro2801]

You should be careful not obeying the Law of Jante! When I grow up in Denmark everybody talked about the Law of Jante and I think it eventually made an impact on people’s self-depreciation. The ten rules in the Law of Jante highlight the unreasonable consequence of being humble. en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Law_of_Jante

[@anagoldberg]

These rules sound absolutely restricting and horrible to me... A quintessence of generally accepted social oppression.

[@hannedybro2801]

@@anagoldberg Yes, everybody should avoid living according to them. I think it is heritage from fare back in time where a small ruling class abused majority of the population.

[@waalberith1091]

“try to always remember what struggles you’ve gone through to achieve something. to be where you are now” i’m gonna keep it in my heart and mind 🌸🤍

[@watercolourheart]

💙