What a wonderful video! You come across as a really thoughtful, kind and intelligent person! I am a 72-year-old man. It was only last year that my mind could deal with my parents safely. It's so funny when the 'penny finally drops', and you finally realise that, knowing what they knew, my parents did what they thought was best, even though it wasn't. What really makes your video special is that you are talking as a human to a human, not a gendered, nationalistic, opinionated simulacrum of a human. I wish you health, happiness and prosperity; I don't need to add: wisdom. That, you have already!

I don't know why your video suddenly appeared in my feed, but I watched it anyway. Although I'm not a woman, not Russian, not in a relationship, though roughly the same age, I can deeply relate to your thoughts. I think you have a very healthy, realistic outlook on life. I certainly benefitted from the wisdom in this video. May the bright light of your spirit endure.

I would have never thought of these but, dang they make sence!

Thank you for opening up and sharing this with us! Media needs more authentic feminine voices. Your hair doesn't define your day, i admire your strength to be vulnerable and share your ideas and experiences. Grew up in Eastern Europe to a father disappointed he had a girl, and my mother was competing with me. She and her mother had been competing for my grandfather's attention and resources for many years. It took me many decades to accept myself as a girl, and as a woman, and even now - i dissociate a lot, and parts of my body don't seem mine. But i accept i'm more of a woman than neutral, and i want to live even so. Thank you for taking me down this memory lane!

Thank you for your video. As a man I found it quite interesting. Also, I had to laugh at the end at your eminently female worry about it being a bad hair day. Anyway, good for you for coming to terms with issues that have plagued you over time. We all have out hurdles to overcome.

There is nothing to compete for as humans 💯💯💯💯🫶

I just want to say thank you for your videos. 💗💗💗

Dear Ana, may I just leave a big hug for {{{you}}}? (and yes, parents are human persons, but regardless of circumstances, I think that never gives them - or actually anyone - the right to maltreat a child. Personal struggle may be an explanation, but never an excuse or absolution. Well, I needed 30 years to figure that out, to not blame myself, or find excuses for them, or gaslight myself about their deliberate malevolence. It is very hard, but we must learn to respect ourselves enough to be able to face that truth and call out the perpetrators without fear.)

WTF I always thought you were around 30

I think you described your situation very well. I don't think you are a failure. I've heard that it is hard to get a spouse visa from Russia. I do hope that you do make it to the US someday.

I really appreciate your vulnerability ❤

I can tell you that i much prefer women who reject conventional beauty standards. All of my best friends are female and unconventional. Youre absolutely beautiful and exactly as you should be. :)

Great!!! Finally someone realizes competition is nonsense. Being a woman is not easy on this world. That’s completely true. I think one of the main problems of our society is low self-stem.

Dearest Ana, I can't even tell how much I love your video, such a beautiful one, you are so beautiful as a woman but also as a Human being to me, I just can say that I love your heart, if that makes sense 💜🌿🌸

Thank you ♥️ this was very helpful.

You are such a breath of fresh air

Bravo.

Its such a personal topic if someone wants children or will have or whatever.. why do people think its ok to just ask this?

Thank you for this Ana. Sending love from the other side of the world ❤️

Girl… my husband likes going to “parades”. In my smallish town these noise festivals consist of hordes of people pushing themselves through crowds, police cars and fire trucks running their sirens, motorcycle clubs revving their engines, high school bands practicing their drums and marching groups blowing whistles. I’d rather be drawn and quartered than go to one of these gatherings. Last time I went I had such a panic attack that my husband finally respects my wish to remain parade free for the rest of my life. Halahluya!

Hello Ana! It was really good to hear your perspective. We rarely get to hear personal stories from your country. The chat about the “why no children” really resonated with me. I chose not to have children and the people whom I barely know that think they can start asking me deeply personal questions on this topic is astounding. The looks of pity and confusion and maybe in some ways, distrust and judgement is one reason why I’ve chosen a life of mostly solitude. Most women’s circles are really just a place to talk about children and grandchildren. Rarely do the women actually talk about themselves and their lives.

Much love and hugs to you and those who need it <3

it all sounds so relatable to me! I am also originally from Russia (Ana as well 😅). I also heard all the fraises you mentioned in the video. And many issues with cultural nonsense were the main driving force for me to leave the country. I started feeling so much better as soon as left the country (therapy helped as well). My relationship with women, men and myself improved dramatically. Subscribed and looking forward to new videos!!!

Very beautiful video, you spoke from the heart and it shows❤ congratulations!

That part about your mother where you said "I saw a human. I saw a very sad woman who had struggled a lot in her life" genuinely resonates with me. The mother-daughter relationship is very complex indeed.

Please share, in the future, things about life in Georgia 🇬🇪, that your husband & you enjoy. Also what countries have the two-of-you, chosen to live, and why have you both chosen to live in Georgia 🇬🇪. Are you both living in the capital city Tbilisi or in a suburb or in the countryside? And even further in the future, please make a video of shopping 🛒 in a supermarket in Georgia. Thank you!

Настя, оказывается, у нас еще больше общего, чем я думала. Обнимаю.

I'm a 42 old man and even now I don't like if someone stay at home more than a short visit ! I can't stand that ! but sometimes you haven't the choice in some situations ! but in the majority of times, if I can avoid that, I will do it immediately lol of course despite my direct family

AI has indeed helped me pretty much to find information I was looking for. More precisely: That I was looking for for years. When it comes up to intellectual property: I see that problem, but on the other hand I have a whole different view on that topic nowadays than I once had. In my today's perspective it's absurd to believe that with 8 billion people in this world no one would come up with the same idea. It's exactly that questionable competition thing you talked about in another video. I myself experienced having my ideas being stolen, not having the money for protecting them bureaucratically, being laughed at for my ideas or indeed other people around the world simply having the same idea or working themselves through the same questions to come to the same conclusion which I thought was unique at that time. Also, a lot of insights are based on the hard work and insights of other people. Some call it "inspiration", others call it "studying" (the knowledge of others). Of course, there may be some exceptional artists and inventors. But may be, first and foremost, they just had the chance to become such and to be recognised as such. And not having to work in a coal mine, for example. Intellectual property is and always has been rather some kind of privilege (of the rich and powerful). And I also think that one's existence should not depend on one's intellectual property. Maybe it's time for a paradigm shift. If I had the choice between getting my intellectual property protected and a universal basic income, I guess I would choose the latter. I think social cohesion is more important than to just hoarding things for yourself, no matter if that's money or intellectual property.

My mom passed away last year. I have been a wreck of mixed emotions. It seems I never gave much thought to my relationship with her. There were many good things about her, but also things I have to come to terms with. I am glad you mentioned this. The way my mom looked at me (many times very critical, I never felt good enough) has indeed shaped my perception of “me”. Guess I still have a lot of work to do. Wishing you the best from the Netherlands.

My dear younger sister, you never have to explain yourself in any way to nosey judgmental people anyway. I had be much older than you to realize this!! Congratulations on your tremendous command of English and for respecting your body and your decisions. I do not know why this video was presented to me but your honest and direct approach kept me watching until the end even though I am one generation older than you are. Bless you.

The pearl of great price comes to mind. Blessings to you and yours.

Dear Ana thank you very much for sharing your personal story! Your hear is great and you are a very beautiful woman! From Italy with love

Self care as a woman in her mid-40's (at least for me) = getting regular health screenings (mammograms, colonoscopy, annual bloodwork, etc); going physical therapy to help with the pain from my fibromyalgia; taking hormone therapy to ease my perimenopause symptoms; resting more often, and forgiving myself when I push my body or my mind too hard. There are a lot more strategies I use, but these are the latest things I'm putting at the top of the list for this phase of my life!

You don't rant. You have a very compassionate and patient demeanor. I found your video very helpful and kind. You clearly have thought very carefully and intelligently about how you would approach this complex topic and I felt comfortable and thoughtful during the entire video. Respect and consideration can be seen with your approach. I would not have the confidence to speak on such a complex topic in a foreign language so this demonstrates that you also have great courage. Deep respect. Saludos desde Asturias.

Offering hugs if you would like them.

All these topics though unwanted, happen to be very easy for me: I'm proudly Russian, but I WON'T discuss politics, thank you; My husband and I are proudly chilfree; and Traveling before settling in a certain country is AWESOME. Don't feel pressured to answer to nosey people:) P.S. In the country that won't be named that is so proud of its freedom of speech you can't discuss: politics, money, religion, gender, orientation, immigration, s*icide issues, s*xual violence issues. No compliments are allowed to be given to anyone that referense their looking good. No touching either. I've heard of people being written up at work for friendly patting someone on the shoulder. Good luck!

Hello Ana, you’re a wise woman, greetings from Mexico🇲🇽👋

This is great. Thank you! 👌👏🩷 Im in my 30s and I’m so proud of being a woman now. I was shamed and ashamed of it for most of my life. I also went to therapy and grief groups to help heal my mother wounds, among many other practices. Therapy helps A LOT. I see all of what you’ve talked about so clearly now and my energy is so free to finally enjoy who I am! 💓💓💓

5:50

Youre lovely! Love your genuine energy.

Томск или Новосибирск?

As woman from Russia I want to say. When I was a teenager I came to realisation that to give a harsh pus back, to be rude and bite back is the only way to survive and thrive in this society. It is not selfish to protect your interests, personal space and emotional stability, it is healthy boundaries. Women from post-soviet states have to learn it ourselves through struggling because culture around since young age teaching us that the lesser we care about ourself, the lesser we protection ourself, the lesser we do for ourselves - the the better women we are. Not a people in general, only women, because for men it is not required. But after all in post-soviet spaces good and patient girls never being rewarded, they always being used.

💛 💛 💛 💛 💛 💛 💛 💛

Ana, I agree completely with your feelings. I sometimes also feel guilty for feeling this way. I am now 75 years old and have probably been this way most of my adult life. Thank you.

Sooo agree. Women always say how they have to "survive" in male dominated environment. In reality, they are surviving women-flooded environment. As a Russian, I can attest that woman's competition is NO JOKE over there. I've always had a decent experience with male colleagues and bosses, and was scrutinized the most by women bosses and colleagues.

Thank you so much for yet another deeply thoughtful and oh-so-relatable video. I cannot articulate my particular challenges briefly, and it's not necessary. I just wish to thank you, dear Ana, for sharing your insights. They are immensely helpful to me in my own struggles in navigating my life as an older woman (I'm 68).

Hi! I am a woman, also from Russia (Vladivostok) and I can't tell you how much this video resonated. I wanted to say thank you for your authentic words.

I am a queer woman and love women. I dont have to compete for mens attention, thank God. I still associate with the rest of the things you say, as I am a woman after all. I have a decent relationship with my mother as she is strong, clever, and always supported me in her way, although never expressed love ❤️ freely. I am 43 dont have children and am trying to have artificially with no success until now. Most provably, I would not have children and that is ok.

Women use to be reduced by men to pussy and breasts. I assume that is the challenge.