What Men Want But Don't Ask For | Dating Advice for Women by Mat Boggs

[@matboggs]

🔥 FREE 15 Phrases That Ignite Desire in Men E-Book! www.bravethinkinginstitute.com/love-relationships/resources/ctmc/mag/15-phrases-that-ignite-desire-in-men

[@Fonzie123]

Thanks. From Pretoria East, Gauteng, South 🇿🇦

[@xyzmsbright]

Validation, Feeling desired, Shift criticism to constructive feedback, Emotional safety, Appreciation of efforts, Support his ambitions, Shared interests

[@OhioGalReads]

Thank you for typing these out.

[@nm9412]

Thank you!

[@arkitamichelle2770]

This is all good advice. But I just got out of a relationship that these did not work on him. These do not work on a man that is a broken man. It's very draining and it comes to a point where enough is enough to keep doing these things for a man who cant unbreak himself .

[@homesteadgmad8223]

Same here.

[@maria-lena5919]

Agree

[@rezotydnic]

Some men aren't whole and don't try to grow and learn.

[@lorawhite1017]

I'm tired of dealing with a broken man who blames everyone else and won't heal him self 😊

[@AriesSimmer]

This is precisely why you don't deal with broken men IN THE FIRST PLACE. 👍

[@BQ900]

It should go both ways. Men need to support their woman and the woman need to support their man.

[@hikerhobby1204]

Amen!

[@rashmigama2417]

True

[@Buggzter-n-Gallade]

Matt does emphasize this in multiple videos too - that both sides need to do the work *they* need to do. His advice centers on what women can do generally, as much fewer men are looking online for advice. Not none, but significantly fewer

[@bigvictory143]

4:29

[@paf9191]

I do all of these things with my man, and it is amazing how he reciprocates and treats me Exactly how I want to be treated. We have an amazing relationship. I should say I’ve never met anyone quite like him. We are in our 70s and we are getting married August 4. We are so so happy. Everything you say is true.

[@OhioGalReads]

Congratulations! I am 53, and my man is 58. We do these things and we are very happy also.😊

[@patricewilliams2998]

❤❤❤

[@melssf7852]

This made my day to read. ❤😊

[@denisemegenhardt282]

You go girl, that gives me hope. I lost my husband almost 6 years ago and the men who I have met since then are a NO but, I am not giving up. Thanks

[@paf9191]

@@denisemegenhardt282 don’t give up. God has the perfect one for you. 😊

[@pamelacorona3665]

I heard years ago that anger is fear in disguise and I agree I've seen it many times 🙋‍♀️

[@danilaroche1156]

I agree

[@RitaP41]

Not necessarily. Can be many other things, mostly Needs not being met.

[@lorawhite1017]

Im tired of dealing with a broken man who blames everyone else and won't heal him self

[@mhal2]

Something I learned (maybe even from Mat!) ... "We attract who we are being". Said another way "Like attracts like". This is good news, because we can always choose to change who WE are being (so empowering)! 😊

[@EMpowered06]

All this advice is not applicable when you are dealing with an abuser or narcissist. Forget your ex and think of doing these things for a good man.

[@jkd9573]

@@mhal2that concept hasn’t worked for me, I never seem to attract the kind of person I am being…

[@mhal2]

@@jkd9573 I believe it's more than a concept (have you heard of the law of attraction?). Interesting stuff!

[@wassabilove1111]

Heal yourself and then you won't even attract men like that

[@gayleanderson8987]

What I HAVE asked my husband for is intimacy and more romance. We are in our early 70's. Let me tell you folks....just because you are older doesn't mean romance shouldn't be acknowleged and nurished. My husband is a little handicapped and plays a big part, but he has been emotionally unavailable for years now. I love sex and intimacy and haven't been able to engage for 2 decades. Very hard. I go to the gym and stength train and swim. I would go nuts if I couldn't work out. My physical relationship is with myself.

[@FatmaSamyFAS]

In my opinion everything is mutual in a relationship, its never one sided. If it is one sided than that's not enough ! One of you will get hurt and wast too much energy.

[@sacrebleu8154]

If you want something ask for it. Women aren't mind readers.

[@Portia620]

Same with men

[@heathab...._-_]

Ok

[@rokhayasene834]

😭😭😭😭😭

[@mshazebabelicious]

Yes ma’am

[@dr.florence]

My experience is this (overlapping with the suggestions). Men want: - to feel like they are enough (they're much more sensitive to this than women!). So, criticism rather than constructive feedback, trying to fix when one sees problems rather than letting them do it on their own, codependent saving - because this low-key means they don't have their act together. Better to say "I trust your ability to figure this out in time." - respect: no putting down or shouting at him in front of others. Very clear boundaries with me. in front of him. -valueing his efforts. Noticing and saying out loud when he does things right. -satisfying their women in bed. Enjoying it and making him know that you do, and it will just fire up his desire to "serve" amd satisfy. No brainer haha - helping. Most men, in my experience, love ot be helpful to women and do stuff for them. That can be practical and it can be giving advice. -admiration. I admire how you build your career. I admore how kindly you treat your parents. This stuff. -asking what they want and need right now: Do you need me to listen or give advice? Should I take your concerns seriously or just say "all shall be well, don't worry?".

[@sonyaparkin7841]

I can understand anger and feel understanding and empathy about it. And it still exhausts me and I get emotionally dysregulated. So for me when there’s a lot of anger I just can’t be around it - just can’t do it. You mentioned safety - excess anger is the definition of unsafe! Blessings to all 💚

[@Portia620]

Agreed!!!

[@QueenofmyPlantpot]

Yesssssss

[@sharris1232]

Shout out to your wife for that- 'Ultimate Praise Phrase' 👏🏼 ✨️ I love this. You do a great job at being my man (all the things that I need and want from my man, you do it and do it well) I know this will work on my guy. This is such a great, informative video. Thanks Mat.

[@ariatamar2706]

What is it that Women deeply want? It's so simple! Just that their man finds them *more beautiful* and better than other women. That's it. There's nothing evil in this. Giving her one flower does it!!

[@Portia620]

😂 they wonder off eventually like a wild buck! Not all but many after they get us!

[@blackeneddove]

Nope. I want to feel loved: appreciated, cherished, valued, not ignored, special, priceless. Feeling all of those things will make me feel beautiful.

[@maria-lena5919]

I'm sure U deserved the compliments, Mat. I've given many unconditional positive feedback & validation with men & I might as well have been talking to the wall! 🤷

[@Portia620]

Same with the bedroom!!! Punished so don’t get the orgasm! Ugh

[@jackdeniston6150]

You obviuosly expected something. So you lie.

[@kimt8162]

Watch out with doing too much family stuff with him/his family if your not actually engaged. Part of becoming a part of his family. I dated for 5 years one guy who took all that I did for granted. TOo nice. Then you have the guy who thinks if a girl sleeps with him fast, that's validation. NO way, he needs to date you. Yes, spend some money on you. OH, and going to all his games doesn't count. I'm going to say give little attention at first, because they end up wanting more and more and more over time.

[@charminggirl6748]

Matt, thank you for all of your great pieces of advice how to navigate our relationships! We appreciate you!

[@anhduong5261]

I love your channel because the knowledge, the way you present as well as the subtitle in each video which makes me easier to learn deeply about the contents. Thank you

[@kristenlobstein8634]

Your presentation has gotten better, Mat. I’ve followed your videos for a long while. This video flows and holds my attention in a way that’s different from 2 years ago and I like it. You’re doing a great job and I’m grateful for your advice and approach to it all. 😊

[@dmrd222]

Starts @5:30 Ya see, when all you utube creators keep insisting on "masculine energy" vs. "feminine energy", all that does is perpetuate the societal expectations that f'd up men to begin with. If everyone had self-worth, as they *can*, then relationships would flourish. Why not focus on THAT? How to build self-esteem and self-worth?

[@RitaP41]

As long as we stop denying and start Respecting our Intrinsic Differences we'll be fine.

[@philasupv]

What if this is a new relationship. We've been friends for years but now the friendship is changing.

[@Mayfloweralways]

That’s how i got in my current relationship and it’s amazing- we were friends first. Boundaries, girl. No matter how happy you are, smile but stick to your boundaries and don’t give a guy everything by letting him skip some work. He is still auditioning for the role of boyfriend. He should plan dates and show a lot of effort still.

[@AnaFuentes-n6x]

Matt this video make me realise what I was doing wrongly with the person I love the most. This was a heaven sent video. I'll pray that God give me the wisdom to apply this correctly and foe him to receive it with wisdom and love.. Thank you! ❤

[@jennyyeo5974]

Haha Matt, good one mentioned...U.P.P...Ultimate Praise Phrase!😊

[@small11989]

Great advice in this video!. I’ve been doing a lot of relationship learning and understanding the opposite sex since my divorce last year to prepare myself to be the best partner I can be in my next one (and hopefully last). The thing I lacked in my previous relationship that I would love but to afraid to ask for us just simple recognition of how special I am and all I do for my men. My love language is “Acts of service”, so it’s the way I show love and also how I like to receive it, but it was never appreciated or recognised in my last relationship and this eventually tore me down and I stopped bothering.

[@aureliecormier1]

Love these tips Mat! Many of these tips are. ones that we are practicing together! Practice, Practice, Practice with respect...feels so good! :)

[@joannebrown6540]

I'll validate my man if he really deserves that validation. If he never says those things to me, I'm done validating. That's a good reminder for my next relationship with a worthy man.

[@ewalichorowicz4614]

Such a great explanation and great examples, Mat. Men crave good communication, connection, responsiveness and appreciation as much as women do. A good couple will learn how to multiply all the goodness in the relationship. Thank you so much for the great tips on how to have a better relationship. 😊

[@GHA-w6h]

I think every men/women should work more on themselves before entering in a relationship if they aren't able to ask for what they want or when they dont even know why they r feeling the way they do. I have seen your video's and heard what u had to say about what a man desires, after hearing those and the way you describe the needs of men in general, i think, a woman needs to have a phd in psychology to be able to communicate with men so they can feel appreciated and satisfid in a relationship cause it seems like they r so delicate and need constant validation and that doesnt describe a stable personality if you ask me. Of cource you have to show appretiation for eachothers efforts in a relationship but, with all do respect the way you describe it , its a bit too much.

[@sally3014]

Great list, but I think you forgot to add playfulness and being lightheaded

[@nancyf2665]

I pumped up a flat tire for 27 years, then I left....our 2 children were getting married that year.

[@karen1946-o4b]

The things that I desire and not be able to ask, are the things that I asked once, it feels like not heard and not want to ask again, creates a gap

[@joannguzzo185]

Good advice ; I've tried most of these things but I regret he didn't respond as such

[@debbielewandowski7978]

I always tell my guy what a great job he's doing with our relationship. We always say thank you to each other fir even the tinest thing. I akways buy gim little things when im out & about & he appreciates ut so much.

[@Scheherazad100]

Actually I wouldn't care if he is scrabbling eggs & I peeling one. Flexibility in a nanosecond is needed. What's the big deal. I just put the hardboiled eggs back in the fridge & appreciate he is scrambling eggs & helping. The end.

[@goodwalks]

Actually these are what women want too. Maybe we want the same thing❤

[@ColleenGallagher-b2i]

His physical presence 😢

[@divineverse7122]

God bless Mat, truly appreciate your knowledge & helping to empower people to understand how men truly feel and their challenges. This supports healthy relationships & a healthier world! Men are leaders and i believe that we should encourage their inherent qualities as opposed to negating in a society that is destroying gender. 🕊 🙏😊💜

[@noremac0123456789]

Not joining my ex boyfriend at his family’s house for Christmas resulted in our ultimate demise.

[@SunitaRussell-th2wr]

Matt thank you so much for helping make my relationship better by watching your videos and applying your advice keep making videos please.

[@Mia-vu7wm]

Great video Matt, thank you! You hit the nail on the head with all of these points!

[@terichastain4179]

Seems like every relationship coach speaks to women. PLEASE STOP SPEAKING TO WOMEN ABOUT RELATIONSHIPS!! If a man doesn't care enough to figure out how to GET HEALED from childhood wounds that we all have in one way or another, then he isn't ready to be The LEADER in a relationship. Women do all the healing & relationship work and men simply take it. It doesn't matter how we speak, think or act. Unless they stand up and become true men, they are wasting our time. I say this from experience and from all the conversations I have had with women about this. We don't hate men, we are tired of men being emotion immature, having low effort, low support and not making the relationship a priority. Thanks.

[@madelinetaylor7708]

These are all really good points. I've learned some of them over the course of 20 years of marriage. But some of them are good reminders. I'm sharing these videos with my grown up daughters who are married and engaged. This is really good advice.

[@footyfan101ful]

Your brother and sil has been married for my entire. Life congrats Rich and his wife on 30 years of marriage.

[@fakorepiphania709]

Thank you so much for this video. I just did practice some, and he just poured out his mind why he's so angry at me. I am very grateful Matt

[@DarlitaStephens]

Excellent video. Makes total sense.

[@jensden284eva]

Ya know... this all sucks. Ive always been mindful of my actions and dont like arguing... I do all these things and get no where I can make honest suggestions and I get my head chewed off. Ladies, if you give all your authentic genuine love to someone and theyre still an ass to you, youre with a narcissist. In my case, relationship with an addict. I prefer to be alone anymore.... Watching this video made me feel better that it wasnt me

[@noremac0123456789]

Also generational. I’m 54 and guys I’m dating who are older than me (60’s +)are definitely wired differently than men my own age , also more successful and wealthy the men, the more arrogant and entitled they seem to be.

[@Sakem0to]

What an awesome presentation, thank you!!!

[@euphory]

Really appreciate the delivery, quality and richness of your advice.

[@ladonnagalloway9305]

I'm afraid to ask him to learn how and to do my hair as a black woman especially since he's white. Also I'm afraid to as him to dance💃🕺with me especially line dancing.😢😊

[@enelrahcreivaj]

Got the guy but still listening and taking notes. :)

[@vivianstark8711]

lol love how its like "women go after him so its not just him going for you" while im over here like i want to pounce my man every time i see him and he know it

[@NicoleCampbell-hs4kn]

You are very insightful !!! Thank you for all this great info !!!

[@braininjurydiy]

that first one is a bad example, if he's angry you stayed out late shows insecurity which can escalate into coercive control or violence.

[@lisal.1962]

It goes BOTH ways! Women need these same things!!

[@rebeccastarns1072]

What I LOVE is flirting and attention!

[@SamillianWays]

He is not very affectionate and I crave it... I've mentioned it once before but don't want to say anything about it again.

[@carmenmichaelian8307]

Great advice, Matt. I am always learning from you.

[@patricewilliams2998]

That is my man too, he pours into us.

[@msminicooper2010]

Men do these things for us until they feel it's safe to stop doing them.

[@melstyle7619]

This does work. This comes from a place of respect. It will not work if the women does not apologize for disrespecting him.

[@DarlitaStephens]

I believe you.

[@jackdeniston6150]

An apology is far more than mouth noise.

[@carolb6581]

…and I continue to really appreciate you Matt! 😊

[@bomariekarim]

You know ur stuff keep it up am a new subscriber

[@crystaldance5731]

I think honesty and respect mat ❤️😊

[@julietews9018]

100%. Everything you’re describing comes down to respect. If you truly respect a man for who he is…you do these things. And men need to feel respected. That’s why the Bible tells us women to respect our husbands. But many women are in mother-mode all the time. Even with their husbands and friends. And I know as an adult women I can’t stand it when my friends treat me like their mothering me. And I’m sure men completely disrespect women when they’re treated like that too 🤷‍♀️

[@lillypeterson4614]

Wow! I truly Appreciate You! Wealth of Wisdom is very generously given. Thank You ever so! I feel abundant and super empowered.

[@Alleynlove]

With all the things you said here, I have done it to my man. Now, I understand why he cannot get over me. Deeply in love, however; am kinda overwhelm and afraid that he will not become over protective to the extent that my freedom of decisioning for my own or for myself will be compromise.

[@taraelmegreen5527]

Have to tell u Mat!! I stole one of your phrases for my SIL who is from Columbia...everytime he drives us somewhere with crazy traffic, or I see him conquering something that needs to b done in their home, I say the "Eeeeehhh!! Una A una A una una una A!" The phrase u spoke abt of your MIL'S phrase for HER spouse!! Mat....he puffs out his chest, literally grows 3 inches and smiles from ear to ear while saying "Thanks Mom!" Thx for thr suggestion!!! 🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🇪🇨

[@milualbuquerque8138]

If with the right person I can ask anything... if not ...better not be with. I believe in communication... and trust and loyalty

[@n0tfr0mth1sw0rld]

5:30 validation

[@michaelboulware1240]

Matt you described me to a T. And because I was out of touch with my own feelings minimized hers and now I'm divorced.

[@amandavanvuuren9677]

You amazing. thank you

[@btwthblood]

Outstanding Mat! Thank you!

[@tressannbryan2502]

I only ask for appriciation, security and reciprocity. Never had that in a relationship and i feel its never my place to ask for those things cause thy are so basic

[@Care-k9]

I learning to be aware of condescending opinions or behaviours hurt words of truth is not always the right thing not my job to show her the way

[@pascalledouven7022]

Super video !! ( one question how come i attract man lately who seem to have more attention for their life and hardly ask me how i am doing..)

[@krisbaker3349]

Great video and I appreciated it! I would like to say that the idea of reciprocation can be a problem. Setting the tone is one thing, giving to get is another. Expecting the other person to automatically catch on could also cause tension.

[@carolinereidartist]

Thanks for the reminder of providing a safe place

[@ellengambaccini315]

What I need from my man is to be heard. I feel his car is more important and he puts time and energy into it but not into our broken relationship

[@malu232]

Thank youuuuuu ❤

[@giulz8]

what if he does not have ambitions? what if he is looking for a plan and is not able to know what he wants

[@rosamoreno4794]

Will you please do a video on all the things and or why men are so afraid nowadays? Thank you!

[@FernGray]

thank you this was very insightful :)

[@Anamak_23]

Thankyou for your advice ❤ Blessed

[@laylathomas8309]

I'd like to have my own space sometimes

[@grethabekker1777]

Thank you!

[@Nef_254]

This is gold ⭐️Thank you @matboggs 🙏🏾

[@ritaanderson819]

❤❤❤❤

[@norielongakit8976]

Thank you mat for your good service 😊

[@bernardette486]

Is it only me but sometimes i can't but not focus on what he has in his background 😅

[@drumvet]

I've asked my wife not to treat me like a child . I affectionately tell her that she is not my Mom and that there are more effective ways to correct me. How do I get that point across without upsetting her?

[@mmkvoe6342]

Take her out and put her tell her you want to take the time to listen to her state all the things she has fears or anxiety about when it comes to being your wife or a mom or with the family and in-laws and stuff, and maybe hold her and just sit and let her talk for as long as it takes. You'll certainly learn a lot, and you don't have to know what to say to anything she says....when she runs down, then rather than have answers yourself, ask her what the answers are... again, she'll have things to say And just keep asking for more until you're clear. Then ask her, where do we go from here?" and be ready to tell her what you will do, it doesn't have to be big, or be "everything." Just say you'll start with one thing it seems like is a next step and see how she feels about it, and then commit to talking again in a week or two, and go from there.

[@NinaEdvardsen]

To ask for appreciation and support

[@missiejin]

Appreciate the subtitles!!

[@sonias.7856]

Why do I feel that we are to be responsable to fix a man and teach him how to be a man?,,,,they dont teach women how to be feminine, we have to figure out ourselves.

[@commonsenseprevails1433]

When they do describe a feminine woman, they usually describe a slave. I.e. loves to cook, clean, tend to the house, etc.🙄

[@viviancovington7813]

Thanks Mat! Cheers! 😊❤

[@SanaaDouma-c7z]

Simply thanks !

[@CompleteHoneyBee]

This is so good. Thank you.

[@elsagrace3893]

What about what I need?

[@yiemamiesesay9577]

I really felt the 7th one

[@shans1986]

They need to validate themselves.