What Men Want (w/ @alex.datepsych)

[@CherryFlower24]

I wanted to think that men weren't superficial but here we are xD

[@yzma6142]

Where can I listen to the whole thing?

[@bobdjo5664]

New Podcast with alex?

[@murphymacken]

Not exactly new but you got it yea:)

[@rdor011]

Survey higher tier experienced men about this I wouldn’t be surprised if looks were less of a factor for them (beyond minimum necessity attraction) Because they have enough experience to realize the importance of other factors. However, the average young man these days? He barely gets to interact with single women in his age range. All they know about women is tied to looks, porn viewing habits, their own fantasies/ desires.

[@brianmeen2158]

“Women essentially in searching for long term mates are looking for the whole package” Yes I’ve noticed this as well which is fine as long as they bring a similar list of positive traits

[@heidithesausage]

whats good for the goose is good for the gander ..... balance. This is not a new revelation.

[@Nickalig]

Men on tinder are not a good proof of what men value in a relationship sincea lot there are for the casual sex...I am pretty sure that men who are looking for long term relationship will get turned off eventually by a girl who has nothing to offer than her beauty...

[@fredels5649]

So the reason why none of the really attractive guys I have been dating, not wanted to commit to me was basically I am not hot enough?

[@Zero_XTZ5]

I want chik fil a rn

[@__-bz7wh]

Based

[@kace999]

There must be a limit here for long term mate choice, where other qualities besides looks matter for men. I observe that within a set of bounds for values, education, income, etc. attractiveness is prioritized, but there are things attractiveness simply cannot overcome. Put another way, of ten women a man would rate 8/10, he will choose the one with compatiable values and desirable educational qualities. Or of the women who are "marriage material" based on other criteria he will choose the most physically attractive. And while a man may always swipe on the attractive women in dating apps, he's looking for other qualities after the attractiveness screen to determine if she's compatible for the long term. You can't just look at swipe behaviors, you have to also look at the follow up behaviors.

[@alphonsemarolle5785]

You're right. But the fact men use attractiveness as their first "filter" can suggest it's a trait that is high in their priority list. Otherwise they would filter by education or whatever other criteria is high in their priorities

[@kace999]

@@alphonsemarolle5785 Good point. In the real world, as opposed to apps, that filtering happens through institutions and organizations like school, work, church, etc. A person will "filter" by education simply by dating who happens to be around them in grad school, for example, or people who work in similar fields.

[@mrdouche9172]

Physical attractiveness is the most important trait for both men and women when it comes to mating. The difference here is that women are looking for the whole package, while men are trying to maximize physical attractiveness in a partner. What I mean by that is this: A woman is more likely to pick a guy who is attractive that also does well financially, has higher status, good character etc. over a guy who is very attractive, but deficient in other traits. While men will pick the very attractive woman who is deficient in other traits over the woman who is the whole package, but is less attractive than the other woman.

[@epayne]

I'll hold my breath for the citation asked for in the beginning😏