What No One Tells You About Grief Healing with David Kessler

Watch David Kessler’s full course Help for the Hurting Heart and get the course free for 5 days: www.onecommune.com/grief
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Help for a Hurting Heart with David Kessler guides you through the grieving process in a way that leaves you feeling at peace and free to create a life of meaning after your loss. While you can grieve more than the loss of a loved one (breakup, job loss, ending a friendship, betrayal, and also anticipating loss while caring for a sick loved one), it’s important to learn how to honor and attend to your grief in a way that heals what hurts while letting go of guilt, anger, and what-if’s. David is one of the world’s leading experts on grief and loss and has created this 10-day course to offer you solace and a path toward remembering with more love than pain. You can live a happy and fulfilled life, even after life’s most painful experiences.
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[@user-kd9tf3wy9t]

Omg , I lost my husband 2 years ago. My life is a mess now. I have not worked for over a year. Staying in bed all day. Hearing you talk was very soothing. And comforting. Making me feel like I am not crazy. I just miss him so much.

[@bethheld9512]

....I get you. It's been 7 months for me, not 1 day goes by that I don't tear up over R, it'll never be over for me til Jesus takes me home.

[@dawn291000]

Same exact

[@lisabennett1253]

I lost my husband of 41 years two years ago. I get what you're saying. Life has gotten so hard. I don't cry (I am afraid to) but I sure do hurt terribly. I'm so sorry for your loss and I am so sorry for your pain. And the missing part, missing them as if that word even does it justice..............that is SO DARN HARD! Thinking of you sister!

[@ktvix9234]

I hear ya. Lost my hubby 8 yrs ago and some days are still like that. ❤🙏

[@kellyrawluk2047]

I'm struggling as well.My husband as well passed away 2 years ago.1 year was I was stronger.Feel stuck,can't seem to move forward. But God will help us .Just take next steps 1 day at a time.

[@wendyallen5105]

I’m grieving My two adult sons and my 4 grandkids.. it’s Complicated.. our Family has gone through so much Trauma.. Ugly divorce, Suicide.. sudden traumatic death.. We need healing payers.. my grief is estrangement.. grieving the living.. it’s devastating 😢💔

[@marshawoods4983]

My heart goes out to you because I fully understand I do have lost both my sons My youngest 23years ago and my oldest one last May and three weeks ago my sister died, and that losses in between you ask yourself is this ever going to stop for God sakes!

[@thedano]

I am praying for you

[@marnastrydom3186]

🙏🌻🙏

[@luguy8347]

Estrangement is pure torture, am deeply sorry for you.

[@raindropsfukushemiaflavore9914]

For those still alive, cling to hope. For lost loved ones, I'm my own mess right now and I don't know if I will ever heal and I keep trying.

[@lisanelson302]

I lost my mom first to dementia then I lost her to death. My beautiful husband died in the midst of my grief for my mother's dementia. I never knew grief prior. Now 5 years later I can't escape it handle it or process it. My life feels erased from the very moment they died.

[@aquariusnorthvision4441]

I just want to say that my heart is with you. your honesty is beautiful and I witness your hurt ...❤

[@whitneysmith6752]

Thank you for sharing your grief. That is too much to lose both parent and husband at once. You are sharing what I think is true -my life will never not be about grief. I just lost my beloved father a month ago. As an adult -but not marrried no kids- I was always a daughter first and he was my anchor. My mom now widowed at 90-she is so altered I don’t know who she is. The death of my dad ended my familys happy energy forever. I will long for his loving presence till i pass. Nothing matters as much as I always wanted to show him what I was doing. He’s the only person I shined for. The rest of the world I have never been good enough somehow. What I have found is the ONE thing that connects us as human beings is not the happy markers in life -it’s grief. It’s a whole other world. You are not alone. We all are in the right place on David’s website. ❤

[@MrChuckwagon55]

I feel the same way. It’s been months and I can’t get out of bed and stare at the wall all day.

[@SterlingArchimedes]

I'm sorry for your loss. I also lost my father to dementia when I was 23 and lost him again yesterday. I'm 35 now. His suffering kills me, dreaming of what could have been kills me.

[@tnt01]

They both would want you to be happy and move on with your life. Hugs.

[@user-ji3ro5pd2k]

My mom my dad my brother and then my husband passed away within less than 3 months of each other. It was every day I was putting one of my loved ones to rest. I don’t think you ever get done grieving over your family members.

[@bethheld9512]

I'm so sorry to read your great losses....

[@nicolep4548]

I have only lost my mom and my world is upside down . My thoughts are with you.😢

[@abbigailbonner5074]

I’m so sorry 😔 I lost my Dad then big sister now my Mumma. And the weird thing is my Mum had a heart attack 7 years to the day that my big sister died. 20th June, then on the 21st of June I watched my Mums heart beat get lesser & lesser 😔 I couldn’t take her off life support even though we all knew there was no hope. Now I’ve took on my young brother along with being a single Mum. I feel so alone & not old enough to have to struggle to much I’m 32 without anyone & 2 boys I need to be brave for. Life is so scary & sh*t!!! Again I’m sorry for your loss, I know it won’t help cause it doesn’t help me. 😔💔

[@lorideaton7868]

Thank you. I lost my daughter 5 months ago and have been struggling but I have started to see a therapist. My daughter died unexpectedly from a severe asthma attack. I lost my Dad when I was 11 and it took me 30 years to heal. I am 68 and I want to face my grief and heal the best I can.

[@angelabrame1160]

Thank you. I thought something is wrong with me because I’ve literally cried everyday for two years. The tears are now 1 or 2 times a day instead of all day. I’m was becoming embarrassed! I was hiding it. I was told I just want a pity party. So thank you. From my heart thank you.

[@user-ec3rm9wr1n]

😢😢

[@bethheld9512]

... I understand that daily thing, I'm going through that also....😪

[@anastasiakesky]

I am crying every day for two years and six months. It doesn't get better. Can't sleep, I just suffer, enormously.

[@randomhodgepodge8902]

All of it. Every word. I lost my husband of 42 years last February and I'm mid-60s, beyond lost. Thanks so much for the helpful healing.

[@elizabethl6763]

“The river of grief will take you to your healing” that really spoke to me.

[@trisharitter]

It could also drown you, which is how I’m feeling right now.

[@Josephines48]

@@trisharitterme too I lost my hubby April 25, 2023. I am struggling right at this moment. I wish I could turn off my brain and the torment.

[@sc855]

Still waiting, no relief,just pain and sorrow. Feel like I don’t belong anywhere!

[@bethheld9512]

....that river keeps me uncomfortably cold, wet, alone, looking forward to my death, I can't swim, and don't care to learn.

[@LadyJ09]

Tomorrow the water in the river may be calmer

[@tmk68]

I lost my 6 year old grand daughter in a sudden car accident and her mother as well 2 months ago. I haven't stopped crying. It hurts so bad. And then there's the pain I feel for my son and my other granddaughter. It's so overwhelming. I'm so glad I found this. I'm going to continue to grieve my way and listen to more of your powerful advice !

[@richardverdugo5658]

My deepest condolences. Stay strong

[@hollywachin]

Being witness to the pain of your son & granddaughter while deep in the ocean of your own despair is overwhelming. Please be oh so gentle with yourself. One breath at a time darling. One breath at a time.

[@angelapage4927]

Sending you my heart ❤️ felt condolences 🙏 x

[@brederoux]

People will mourn and witness the death of a loved one but divorce, loss of partner, loss of children, friends and family still alive is an isolated journey that people don't understand unless they have felt it themselves

[@jackiechan27]

Thank you for this comment!!! 🙏🙏

[@bagobeans]

If my grief could speak to me it would say. "You loved another.....otherwise your sorrow would not be felt so deeply." "Your ability to love is what makes you human." "Be glad!"

[@graceg3250]

Ask yourself if you are expressing your love as grief. It’s an important thing to recognize. Do you feel obligated to grieve as a way to channel your love to your loved one? Is there a better way to love? How about choosing joy instead of sorrow when thinking about your loved one?

[@mkf628]

@@graceg3250 grief isn't one 'emotion' like joy or sorrow. you don't 'chose' it exactly. You pass through it.

[@rgrateful]

I just lost my Mom this week from COPD.😢 I MISS HER SO MUCH. THIS NUMBNESS AND PINCH IN MY CHEST. I thank you for your video. If my grief could speak to me, "Take one day at a time, breath in breath out, God has your hand."

[@Vegoonery]

Hello sweetie. I am in the same place for the same reason. Just found her yesterday morning after a nice relaxing chat the night before. I hope you're doing better now. I will be thinking of you.

[@jennygrim2057]

Take good care of yourself. I send love to you in your loss - comfort from God too ❤

[@roseharris7457]

I lost my dad from COPD last year. I am feeling like you and trying to cope. This video helped.

[@missthing9782]

my mom passed from COPD and mistreatment from a horrible rehab. I miss her , I was her caregiver for 20 years. I am so lost. Prayers.

[@rileyhoffman6629]

Having to move, downsize, leave it all behind grief... We choose it, and yet it causes grief.

[@paulpat9022]

I lost my 4 years old daughter three months ago, The unimaginable pain I feel is overwhelming. Hearing you is quite suiting. I hope the pain I feel reduces.

[@SedonaGrace]

I grieved when I lost my husband bit by bit through dementia. But when he died, that took my grief to a whole different level and intense.

[@gladyspagan6410]

I went through the same experience when my husband showed the first symptoms of dementia I started grieving.When he passed away it was too hard, after nine months it is about the same. Blessings

[@kimc4586]

My worst fear my entire life was losing my dad. Then dementia so cruel stole the dad I knew and needed. I knew I grieved him daily. 3 weeks ago he got his wings. I am broken. I want him back, I miss him even in the mind state he was in. He was the King of the family and that whole is huge. Dementia is so cruel. I wish I could fix it for everyone. I’m so sorry for your loss. I understand the pain you feel. We were blessed although right now I just can’t see it. ❤

[@simbomaphanga4402]

You think u will be in control as you saw the worst coming and grieved them while they are still alive.The blow and pain just feel worse. Lost my mom 2 months ago and I'm taking it day by day, it's a lot😢

[@lilaroizman1147]

I lost my child and your video is helping. Thank you.

[@alimccreery755]

My little dog Fumi passed away last June, two of my cats have died and several years ago two of my other dogs and another cat passed away. I don’t think I properly grieved and now it’s all hitting me all at once. I miss all of them more than anyone including my own family. It’s one step and one day at a time and if the water works happens I just let myself do it. I miss their friendship and company and prefer to spend time alone. Hugs 🤗 and love coming to everyone here because we are not alone 😊

[@glenj.taylor2938]

The love of an animal is like no other that I've experienced. I've lost three dogs myself thusfar and my dog (more-so my Dad's dog) now is about 15½years old. He is doing great but slowing down. We both know what's on the horizon. I lost my father July of 2023. He was my best friend whom I consciously lived with my whole life and we had a great life together. I miss him immensely and "my dog" misses his just as much, if not more. The lesson my first dog taught me is "It's better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all." Life It's all just part of Life. It all hurst more than I can put into words but who I am, the love I have for animals and those who are worth loving is a result of having had the absolute blessing of a relationship with my dogs, father, family, and friends. Easier said than done but there's always more out there that are need of your life, your love. I hope you find it in you to put that out there again because it will be returned. ❤

[@alimccreery755]

@@glenj.taylor2938 thank you for your support 🥰🤗

[@vickifrederick2934]

My three yorkies died a month ago. I am broken-hearted, still crying every day. Neither of my parents death hurt this bad! I cannot believe this has hit me so hard.

[@laurieloudamy1846]

I’m so very, very sorry for three devastating losses, all together; you have shock in addition to the terrible losses . And society is getting better, but for those of us grieving our fur babies, don’t really allow us the support extended to other types of grief. My deepest condolences to you and prayers going up for you.

[@colinjones1336]

I am so so sorry god bless hunni

[@horrorbiz72]

I needed this today. I lost my only brother on May 4, 2023. To add insult to injury, when I called to schedule a session with my therapist of 7 years, I was informed that he had passed as well. It’s now December 2023, and I fell the pain in my heart every single day. These videos are very insightful and helpful. Thank you!

[@sophiaduarte745]

My Condolences to You For losing Your Beloved Brother. Also Your Therapist. May our LORD heal Your Heart and Emotions.

[@FeelingFrequencies]

Thank you my beloved cat Harry passed away 5 days ago and he was in my world and was my family for 16 years so difficult week for me and this was helpful.

[@laurieloudamy1846]

I’m so very, very sorry for your tremendous loss. I lost my sweet 16 year old dog, Luc on 04Oct, and I am devastated and so sad. I lost my precious Desi 14Dec, and am so devastated by his loss, too. My deepest condolences to you and you are in my prayers.

[@RS-ch2ls]

I lost my grandmother my most loving maternal uncle very dear to me. My of my dreams we were going to marry past 13 years relationship ended abruptly his parents ended our wedding. Its been a long time can't get over the grief

[@user-cq9qw9dt9g]

Thank you. I needed to hear all of this. My best friend died a year ago and my ex-husband died January 1st, 2023. We had been married twenty eight years. I still grieve for his loss even though we had been divorced for twelve years. Then on August ninth, 2023 my mom died. Some days I just can't do all this grieving over three people who I loved so much. I journal, talk to my friends and pray. Staying positive and having gratitude really helps a lot. The longer we fight it, the longer your grieving might last for the rest of your life. Grief is part of being a human being. Grief is normal. I pray everyone has a blessed day filled with peace, joy and love. ❤❤

[@audreya9859]

My ex husband passed away last week he was my best friend and father to my oldest son he also helped raise my 2 younger kids. I don't know how to get through this. We've known each other for 27 years and made so many plans even though we divorced we planned on growing old together and he was my husband's best friend as well. I'm just devastated.

[@debbiebolek2117]

God bless you. You are very positine❤

[@jenni9019]

I lost my mum 10 months ago, and listening to you has helped me to understand and to go at my own pace I unfortunately am stuck in shock and numbness still, but thank you

[@minnie5301]

The welfare officer from the company my late husband worked for said to me " i have heard that you are not even crying" my husband had died in a traffic accident when I had a 10 month old baby and my FIL ( ultimare cintrol freak ) had been moaning about my lack of grieving to the welfare officer behind my back. I used to mainly cry once my baby was asleep and I was on my own❤

[@ntitus3025]

I did judge myself for grieving as long as I have, until I just surrendered to it. My grief has many faces.

[@katemchardy542]

My dad died almost 60 years ago when I was a child. I have gone through many layers of grief ... but the biggest shift has happened in the last 2 days. 60 years later? Yes. I realised that I have been holding onto him and looking for him in every man I have ever known - never mind the ones I have fallen in love with who, god help them never stood a chance. II have spent the last two days allowing him to go to the light and understanding that he never abandoned me and never left me and that now he can be with me more freely as I have let him go and respected his spirit in ways that I didn't even know I wasn't doing. 60 years but better late than never! Thankyou for your work David ... I wish you had been around before you were even born!!

[@bekezelapatience3699]

Existence is hard after the loss of my brother. I am struggling so so much.

[@bethheld9512]

Your statement is precious, and let's anyone plug in the person they are grieving, thank you for sharing, sorry for your loss ....

[@heatherwhatever7714]

My psychiatrist said this should last about a month. This is a 36 year relationship/marriage. I said this, my third year, has involved crying I’ve never done. It’s been daily. It’s easing and it is a complicated grief. Big highs, big lows. I’m doing my best. I’ve eaten when I didn’t want to, exercised when I didn’t want to, etc. I’m starting to get excited about things that brought me joy but that felt flat. I can see that it’s a process I didn’t experience with other griefs. I stuffed parts of those. Thank you for addressing that “I’ll never stop crying” fear. I did stuff it but in other areas knew to lean in. The day came…no more stuffing. I wasn’t leaning in but it got ahead of me and something tripped that switch. Just like stuffing other things and learning to share in my 12th step program, I let openness happen long enough that the “normal stuffing” wouldn’t do that for long anymore.

[@marymuscat7482]

I lost my husband, mrhs ago 😢 I miss him so much, each day is so painful all I have is memories now but when I think of those memories I still feel pain in my heart 😢

[@bethheld9512]

I can relate, my husband died of starving to death via pancreatic cancer, this past August, ...for 3 months I cried daily, and it was physically painful like I was in a vice grip from chest down.....crying out to GOD to stop the pain was effective, ....I still cry daily, losing desire to continue on, nothing brings me any joy....

[@annsjoholm7310]

I lost my brother to suicide recently, everything is changed, i'm changed. I miss him so much and there are no answers. Thank you ❤️

[@youcanhealyourheartbreak5999]

I’m so sorry 😢 That is a tremendous loss and a complex grief.

[@annsjoholm7310]

@@youcanhealyourheartbreak5999 Thank you ❤️

[@annsjoholm7310]

@@youcanhealyourheartbreak5999 Thank you!

[@juliefisk8066]

I left my 31-year marriage. It was so awful, so much mental, emotional, spiritual, and financial abuse. During our separation, he would message me asking me to work it out, all while being on dating websites and actively dating. Now, he's known someone for 6 weeks and they are getting married. Everything I loved was stupid, ridiculous, and ignorant, but she loves the exact same things and they are great! She resembles me, physically, has an extremely similar haircut, body type, etc. It's maddening and hurtful. I know he is bad for me and my mental health, but I'm just stuck in the why's! My kids tell me to "just let it go." We made horrible mistakes as parents, I've done everything I can to make amends, I never get a pass when things come up, but he does because, "that's just how he is." I'm sorry, I'm just so hurt, sad, and stuck...

[@Acoffeewithlotta]

I'm so sorry you are hurting.

[@remedyrescue]

He's a selfish sob and you're better off without him! He showed you who he is, believe it. Get on with your own life! Your kids are right. It's your time to be happy and to have the life you've always wanted and deserve! He did you a favour! You were the parents your kids specifically chose. Now that the soul contract is over, grieve all the losses and sadness, and start investing in you now and what you want to do with your life. Once you start to give yourself the love and kindness you didn't get, you will one day become a magnet for the right partner. You deserve to be happy! Wishing you well! Angel blessings from Precious Sweetheart ❤🙏🙂

[@juliefisk8066]

@@remedyrescue thank you so much. A lot has happened since I made this comment. I finally addressed the lies and rumors that were being said about me. That felt really good. I also got rid of my wedding rings, another bold and amazing decision. I couldn't imagine passing on something with such bad memories attached to them. That probably felt the best! Letting them go was really cathartic. I felt such amazing relief. I also dyed my hair the color I had always wanted, that he said was stupid! Pink! I feel good about everything that's happened! Thank you for your kind words. I really needed them. Much love and blessings to you!

[@goldalevin869]

You were a different person then and did the best you could. What you may be missing is the fantasy because the reality sounds different.

[@juliefisk8066]

@goldalevin869 I absolutely agree. I lived with the hope that things would eventually change. I did spend many, many days, weeks, months, and years fantasizing about what could be and should be. I waited years for the man I married to return to me. About 10 years ago, I realized that I was no longer in love with him. This time, I waited patiently for MY feelings to return to me. I remained a good wife, I did the things I'd always done. Eventually, I came to the conclusion that this was as good as it would get. As time continued on, and things never changed, I came to the conclusion that I could no longer live like this. I made my plans quietly. It was hard to walk away. My heart broken, but I knew it was time. This past year has been difficult and sad. I have turned a corner and finally feel free. He continues to bad mouth me, even though he apparently has moved on and is getting married next month. I find that odd. I'm not addressing any of it as I did in the beginning, I don't find it necessary to defend myself anymore. I walked away for very good reasons, and I'm done. I deserve to be happy, and that's my goal. Thank you so very much for your comment. I truly appreciate it. I lived in that fantasy for far too long and will never live there again!

[@Aash0999]

I lost my dad and my sister six months ago and I can't express how much painful losing them both in just one month. Sometimes I can't believe that happened. I've been through a lot this year but grieving their death is beyond any pain and loss. Thank you for this video, I feel somehow better after listening to you. What you said is very helpful and touching.

[@christineowens791]

im sorry..lost my Dad last week..my sister in 2015..i love how he said we r built to handle grief

[@MyStutteringLife]

My 20-year-old son was killed by a drunk driver on 11/13/23, and I am lost broken numb.......I finally reached out to find a grief therapist but every day is painful exhausting

[@youcanhealyourheartbreak5999]

I can’t even imagine that kind of traumatic loss 😢 I’m so very sorry.

[@MyStutteringLife]

🙏​@@youcanhealyourheartbreak5999

[@raindropsfukushemiaflavore9914]

Biggest hugs

[@rickkeegan5977]

So sorry for such a horrific loss . Losing a child is the worst.😢

[@TheMisssy2]

"Doesn't mean you have to grief in pain" 2 years I was wondering if I am ever going to get better, after hearing you say it is "early grief" I felt relieved. 10 years...lost him to another woman, my son lost his girlfriend to another guy at the same time and I was doing double grief "complicated grief" because every Mom wants her son happy. My grief wants me to know that I truly did everything I could.

[@trishmaris689]

Thank you David. My husband of 42 years passed 14 months ago So appreciate your kind words

[@farrahfrench7690]

This grief is killing me! I just want to join my baby

[@fairy12324]

I understand ❤ I'm so 😞 sorry. Message u if u want to vent. I lost my boy,mother and grandmother last year. The 2 years before that 10 year relationship breakdown. Father dying. Uncle dying and cousin being killed. Sending so much light your way. God help us or universe or what ever makes sense xx

[@bethheld9512]

....can relate....

[@paradoxnurse]

I am at a loss of what to do as I navigate a divorce from 25 years of amazing, blessed memories. She has moved on, in a new relationship with a married man, she is a home wrecker twice and still will not accept any fault for the ruin of ours. I can't seem to move on, like I fell in the river and it's not moving.

[@jimdufour5843]

This is the second time I have listened to this video and I am so glad to be able to access your teaching! My wife died 17 months ago and I was beginning to beat myself up for not being further along. I love the analogy of the river. It helps make more sense out of this painful journey. I know God is using you, David, as he has been for many years. I take hope in knowing that all of this pain can be used for a good purpose in helping others! May God continue to work through you, and all of us who are traveling this road!

[@pjones7012]

my wife passed not 2021. i did not know this level of sadness existed

[@cyndimoring9389]

my partner died of cancer. 6 months ago. Our relationship was only 4 years old but it was very special and came along later in our lives, the best one I've ever had. People around me think I should be moving on, that it will help me but the idea of doing that only makes me feel disloyal to him and I fear time will diminish what we had. What do you tell yourself about this?

[@cristinaevans139]

My mother in law died Mother’s Day then the next day I found my partner dead in bed ,he has a big family but they don’t want to help….and there is soooo much more,I’m about to leave for the funeral homenow😢australi a

[@cyndimoring9389]

@@cristinaevans139 I' m so sorry for your losses. Grief is love with nowhere to go. Be strong and when it's over let the grief drive for as long as it wants to get a little exercise in the mornings to shake off the dark night, stay busy when you can even if it's mindless work & remember to be around people when it feels right, even if you just go to the movies sometimes. I lost my partner 7 months ago & that's what's helping me.

[@gladyspagan6410]

@@cristinaevans139I ❤️🙏

[@sarahevans3622]

This is powerful! Our son died two years ago and I've often felt stuck and wondered why I'm not further along. This gives me permission to feel my grief and not push it away.

[@4vlnstrings]

I lost my son four years ago. Losing a child is so very devastating, at least for me. I still fight depression, I cry often, and feel he was cheated of his life and love.

[@Wiggysmooth23]

My son went home to daddy house last month. I haven’t experienced grief like everyone else. I know he’s with God and Jesus. He was only 21. I can’t bring myself to cry or mourn because I don’t believe in death. I know that Christ lives in us and was in my son. And I spoke of Christ often giving my family that spiritual guidance while alive. None of me or my children have fallen apart. Because I knew that every bit of my understanding and strength literally comes from God. Seek him and he can remove the hurts and pains. There’s nothing wrong with grieving but it takes so much of your time away to live. Live everyday in the moment. Love yourself enough to heal

[@deelightful6124]

My take away from this is running TOWARDS the storm. My son died unexpectedly in an accident in his job the day before thanksgiving. He was 28 years old. has been dead for a month and I have exhausted myself trying to be strong for the rest of my family .. I was immersing myself in art and music projects, Netflix and drinking even hooking up with my ex, cause I can’t stand the quiet moments I can’t stand this pain in my chest I try to sleep through it but I am learning to just be still snd let the tears fall!! Let the screams out. I acknowledge the anger that is percolating deep in my belly . The other day I punched my pillow and ripped up random magazines. I realized that this is a process and I MUST go through it. I am now doing more healthy things like praying and yoga to help cope with this traumatic and profound loss.i know it will take time to fully accept what’s happened and function more normally again.

[@youcanhealyourheartbreak5999]

I’m so very sorry for the tragic loss of your son. It’s unfair.

[@SongofaBeach2012]

I lost my older sister April 2017 and then my younger sister and best friend July 2022. Both of my sisters were only 38 years old when they passed suddenly. Life now feels empty, and everything seems to have lost its color, taste and meaning. Its been almost 2 years since my beautiful little sister died but lately I have been absolutely falling apart. I have episodes of grief where I sob to the point of becoming mute and unable to speak. A large part of me died with my sisters and its hard knowing who I am now that they're no longer here. This video was so validating though and when you said "grief is a reflection of a connection that has been lost" I feel like if I can just find a way to reconnect with my sisters the grief will lessen and I can keep loving them without the pain that comes along with it. ❤

[@marcelamarcela7540]

My grief is not from lost.I cry every day for 40 years because i need love and i didnt find it until now so it is not lost because i never had love and this is reason of my grief.....so i dont agree that grief is only lost....it is not only lost...it is also loning for something what is blocked for you in life like love fore me.

[@420flyers6]

I lost my mom in January then my daughter on my moms birthday in july, four days from my 53rd birthday. Christmas is so hard

[@peonypink9149]

My parents both died when I was a teen, a year apart due to both having cancer. My husband died suddenly and traumatically leaving me with two little ones to raise and last year my lovely daughter, now a teen developed a heart condition and I feared I’d lose her - which triggered all the other losses. I am still quietly trying to manage that fear and the resurfaced grief so I don’t transmit it to my two. They’ve been through so much in their short lives.

[@nametru3246]

At least you understand, you are warm, kind and appreciated, thank you

[@Gerogiafgs]

my friend died from brain cancer in the time of just two weeks... just when her syptoms appeard. we knew each othe only a year but we had a so deepful relationship and we were so much alike. im grieving 4 months now, i dont want to go to our university cause i have so much anger in me and so much sadness. no one gets me, they dont get the pain i feel. they all say just dont be depressed things like this are happening all the time, u cant escape death etc etc. This person was one of the most wonderful and kind persons that i had encountered and she was trying her best to do in life with all the struggles that she had. she is gonna live in my memories forever , her emotions and our moments are still here deep in my heart. my grieving says that she was the most sweet girl and that my love for her is still alive even in an different way. i may fail in the university but i cant stand going there with everyone acting like nothing happened.

[@mkf628]

what you feel is normal, lots of love.

[@charlenehernandez8546]

Its. Very hard when you lose too many, back to back funerals mb erals..

[@jbiddle9235]

Thank you for this. My mom was only 49 when I lost her and it was sudden. It's been 7 years ago and it's been hard to get over. I have said all the negative "why can't I get over this" to myself. But my mom was- is an amazing mother. She was taken too young and unexpected. I have had to get out of this on my own.

[@didu2689]

how did you get out?

[@jbiddle9235]

@didu2689 I hit rock bottom. Worked 50 hours a week at a dead end job to ignore the pain and it almost killed me. It took my health downhill until I had to face my pain. The pain took physical form that I couldn't ignore any longer. I lost my job and had chronic health issues. I had to get into therapy and find work from home to survive. Through a crapload of therapy, lucking out that I got on medicaid from falling to the bottom, and working on myself in therapy, I am getting myself back up and feeling better. It's taken several years and a lot of life changes. But I'm stubborn and am doing it.

[@klanderkal]

Retirement... extreme grief. No interest in life, loss of interests now in all my sports and activities. I sunk into horrible depression.. im so unhappy,... and unable to move on..?!?!. Ive been mocked by friend that, I SHOULD be happy, i should do this, that... and be grateful. Im hurting so bad... im sorry everyone. Im not handling this well. 🙏😩

[@youcanhealyourheartbreak5999]

That is actually quite common for many newly retired people. Have you considered starting small with a gratitude practice? Build up to volunteer work and consider signing up for a class that interests you.

[@klanderkal]

@youcanhealyourheartbreak5999 Thank you, for replying. Its so difficult for me., as I didn't have to retire...! I'm hurting without my job and the workplace activities & coworkers. Struggling with the depression.... unable to do anything. [yet].. I have been starting to walk,... and excersize. Practice gratitude, I have been trying this , outloud verbally.. though I'm not feeling it, I'm saying it. Hopefully SOON, this darn depressed will leave my mind, and set me free, to do things with enjoyment & motivation. Volunteering sounds interesting. Never experienced this illness before ,... it's scary and doesn't make sense. [ you know you like something, ( like working on your VW) but, have no interest or motivation to work on it]??? or.. I like to workout,... but, no longer want to, nor enjoy it while doing it.???.. it doesn't male sense. .. thanks again for helping me. K.

[@youcanhealyourheartbreak5999]

@@klanderkal It absolutely makes sense! Your work life was a huge part of your life; confidence, feeling valued, social connections, routine, contribution. You miss that. You might consider doing something like writing a letter to that part of your life to express your feelings. Also, you can write what you’ve gained from those years of your working life, with the view that you don’t lose that, that’s your personal gift you get to keep from all those years of experience. I’d also suggest Google searching for ‘depressed after retirement’. It will help you to read stories of others who feel the same. 🙏🌟

[@jaymie8082]

❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤

[@klanderkal]

@@jaymie8082 💐🙏💐

[@jodiegall3366]

Thank you for talking to me❤

[@eliseessenmacher7950]

Thank you ❤ I lost my mother unexpectedly in April. This is extremely helpful. 🙏🏼

[@celestialblissfulness]

My father passed April 2022 as well 🙏🏼💚

[@eliseessenmacher7950]

@@celestialblissfulness ❤️❤️❤️

[@helenacogan4188]

My beautiful sister Marie went home to source in April also - xxx - we loved each other - that’s what I hold dear!!!

[@laurieloudamy1846]

I’m so very, very sorry for the loss of your mother. My deepest condolences to you and you are in my prayers.

[@stillintheheartrebornnurse4072]

My name is Jana from oklahomai lost my granddaughter dec. 18 2023. It was the hardest thing ever lost siblings my mother but I guess it was because she was only 31 and I raised her from a baby its April of 23 why am I. Still greiving her I can't get thru day without crying .im trying so hard but I miss her so much .

[@susanwale8887]

❤

[@raindropsfukushemiaflavore9914]

I'm not sure n I do know there are different levels of grief. I've just had two deep shattering deaths n the only thing I can think of is.....our love for them is that deep n connected that our grief is also that deep n connected. It's pain that I don't know how to live with. I'm sorry to you for your deep loss. Biggest hugs

[@chaisandars1691]

I lost my Father four days ago. My heart is shattered and hollow… my Dad meant everything to me. His resilience and strength to overcome triumphs in life by showing his unwavering love and kindness to everyone. Rest easy Dad ❤ 1967 - 2023

[@cassandraburton6132]

Bless you Dear one, your Father sounds a wonderful man. 🦋❤️

[@annaalm18]

Thank you David ❤

[@joannedobkin3363]

Thank you. I’m still triggered by things I joined my husband to his friends service who passed and was overwhelmed with grief crying when I saw all the people that showed up and the pictures and a movie on his life. My mother had just me at the funeral home no celebration but I connected instantly with his mom at the service and we exchanged numbers. I will do anything to support her in her loss knowing how hard it is for me. I didn’t sleep through the night after that trigger I woke up crying in the middle of the night. Happiness isn’t here yet I pray one day to have happy moments. I find the I tube forum so supportive. People here understand my struggle thank you for your support. It means a lot because I had no support. That leaves a void. 😢

[@user-gn6oi9pv8r]

Your talk about grief was very helpful to me I lost my son of 57 years, we very close and I was his caretaker for 7 years. And I am having a very hard time. You talk about the stick in te river was helpful. Leo the end about feeling our grief and why is it tellin us .

[@klanderkal]

Thank you!!.. for mentioning that Grief is anything you are connected to, and different to us as fingerprints. My loss of my career job, has destroyed me!!, months later,.. im still suffering deeply for my loss. Thank you.. 🙏

[@whitneytogba1878]

I lost my mom, sister, daughter, and 2 nieces at once to a fire incident at our house a month ago. I sat there and watched them burn to death. I don't know how I feel 💔😭

[@robloxbros7989]

Ohh my god 🙏 I’m crying reading this. I also lost my 19 years son from accident june 21 n my mother suffering from cancer on august 16th I’m suffering too much with pain. Now I’m living for my second son like half dead. God don’t give pain for kids front of parents

[@mommam.6101]

My heart breaks for you, I am crying for you right now because although I have experienced losing many people over the years, I have never experienced a tragedy to that extent all at once. There are many many scriptures in the Bible that show that God promises a resurrection. The 11th chapter of John talks about when Jesus resurrected Lazarus, and Acts 24:15 speaks of God resurrecting the righteous and the unrighteous. If you do some research it may bring peace to your heart. It's a complex subject and many untruths have been taught. I will pray for you.

[@tamarakoz5167]

It is very hard . I can only say I know what you feel . I lost my both sons . The elder was killed by a car on a crossing . In full health and before marriage . 22 months later the younger , 30 year old , was killed by three volunteers in a rehab center . I have buried all my family before . Five months have passed . I have watched and listened and read much here . The biggest torture a human may have to undergo . Life …I am also surprised that I am functioning . Though it is the miserable resemblance of my former me .

[@mommam.6101]

@@tamarakoz5167 what a horrible thing to go through. Just know that Jesus promised a resurrection and we may see our loved ones again. Acts 20:15, John, 11:25 and many others. Do a search in a Bible app.

[@marievina5593]

Grieving for my mother that is still alive

[@mkf628]

Great content, to those grieving lots of love and compassion from a fellow griever ..by far and I mean FAR, THE best monologue on grief I have listened to and I've pretty much heard them all. Words coming from experience both subjective and objective, felt and heard alike. Thank you.

[@SweetSweetFireOfLove]

This is the best discusión of grief I’ve heard. Thank you.

[@mkf628]

absolutely, the '5 stages' non-sense elsewhere needs to be debunked entirely as it confuses and hurts people

[@ntitus3025]

​@melaniefong8211 5 stages definitely threw me off for real. I'm just beginning to get some clarity on my grief and it has been a year since my mom passed.

[@mkf628]

@@ntitus3025 🙏

[@jasonbourne7858]

A thoroughly wonderful video - thank you for this David - if my grief could speak to me I think it would say 'let it all out' no matter how stupid, weak and sad that may look to outsiders - I'm taking my partner's ashes to be released on Mt Vesuvius overlooking the Bay of Naples - he would have like that - bless and thank you

[@sudhakar7889]

Such great video. I could understand it as my tears dropped unstoppable.

[@angelapage4927]

David Kessler I'm sure many people find some peace in following your video and books on grief. Just let me assure you speaking from the heart of a mother that has lost a beautiful son x who is Loved beyond words ❤️ x . From 2021 my whole world fell apart every cell in body hurts every second of everyday. Still the same there's never a day i want to wake up. This is different grief the pain is cruciating every second of everyday. There's no words no books out there that can really help if you haven't had a young or older child transitioned David Kessler you HAVEN'T got the slightest idea what it really feels like i don't care how many people you have interviewed unless you are walking in the shoes of us parents who are trying to survive this. And to be honest i really don't want to survive this. This pain is forever because grief is Love and i will Love ❤️ my son x forever x This is one so unfair world why is it always the good ones that are taking and wicked people left to live their lives to the full May be answe that because I would love to know.

[@OneCommune]

I’m sorry for your loss. David also lost his son. Sending you love.

[@conniedavis4751]

I'm grieving over my husband having a stoke,and now he can't work or do much any more.

[@anpsteph]

I'm so glad you told the howdy story, it caused me to laugh--"I'm not a howdy person... . " Up to that point I was in tears. Everything you spoke about resonated with me. It has been four years since a series of major losses occurred in my life and I am still tender in those spots. I can say that it was about 3 years after the last devastating event before I felt I was getting my footing. It is so true that every hurt craves a benevolent witness (I forgot the author of that saying), and the story about everyone moving something after someone dies. I remember when my nana died. I looked around and thought how can the music still play, how can people keep doing. I wanted everyone and everything to stop. Thank you Commune for putting this video out there.

[@hienienguyen6766]

my dad just passed away. i am just in shock of all this. i have talked to my close friend and she is helping me with my grieving process. This made me feel so many different emotions

[@seed.meditation]

My condolence to you

[@wendyallen5105]

Thank you for this video and your words🙏

[@dorothybooth5977]

Thank you i lost my husband of 60 years

[@klanderkal]

🙏Thank you SO much Dr. Kessler. You've mentioned something no one has said about Grief. I'm hurting so bad. I lost my long time career job, and I miss everything about it.! My coworkers, my job itself, workplace, social interactions, the busses I drove, etc.. Im in always pain. The pain in my chest... and constant sadness of knowing I cannot return. I've lost interest in my life,... My family, friends, neighbors want me to " let go, move on " ... but, im unable. I cannot Snap-out of this. Life is continuing, yet im not involved. Thank you for understanding, my loss is real.

[@kyriakivavoulis7554]

😍grieving with more love than pain...

[@mumsylydz]

Thanks for this video . I lost my partner last month we been together 12 years.😢😢😢😢 I can’t explain the pain no words can explain as I miss him so much . He was diagnosed lung cancer last Feb 2024 & died April 2024 it happened so fast really fast 🥲 I just find my strength through my faith in God Jesus Christ & my kids, my family , my friends & fellow Christian, & I just think of Good memories & funny memories with my partner, his such a funny guy he always made me laugh . I miss him so much but he is always in my hearts in our Hearts. Rest in peace my darling Till we meet again ❤

[@seed.meditation]

My condolence to you. I pray for him. I believe that in this Universe we all have bonding. Somewhere he is with us. Respect

[@laurieloudamy1846]

Thank you for your understanding and compassion.

[@stevennovella378]

What a wonderful video to put out. I am 11-months into this hell called grief. This one video helped me, actually helped me. Thank you.

[@adriennevanstaden9460]

Thank you...learned so much.

[@SelenaK]

This was so helpful to hear…now I realize that I have been “an island of grief” for a year and a half.

[@margaretwansbrough980]

Thank you I needed this today.

[@binabhavsar4962]

Love my god and my child ❤

[@rhondahumphrey5556]

Thank you so much ❤

[@suedale7599]

Thank you for this video. It has been so helpful to me.

[@bhagyashreesarkar1370]

Thank you for clearing my thoughts and helping me dealing with my grief

[@jennygrim2057]

Thank you! ❤

[@janetboodhoo2111]

Thank you so much.

[@jhimmelberger5371]

My grief would say to me. "I am a reaction to your loss of love. So the reason, I, grief am here, is because your wife's life meant so much more to you, and a little less to others". Then grief would say, "this isn't a meandering trip down the river, it is about slowly adjusting to life without the love and companionship you thought would be there forever".

[@ewalichorowicz4614]

Thank you so much David for this video. You explain things so beautifully and with great wisdom. This has helped me tremendously ❤

[@vickifrederick2934]

Thanks. I have watched probably 30 podcast on grief and pet loss.perhaps because I am a nurse practitioner,I need facts,data,hard data. The others have not given me some info,some ranges . I do not know how many times I have heard that grief is different for everything.. I know no that I am normal and not necessarily needed help because I am still crying after a month. Will follow your series and expect this to last a long time but to get better as that time passes. Appreciate you!

[@rosegarden7517]

You have done wonders for my sibling. Thank you so much.

[@elainegalang2678]

Thank you for being a part of my grieving process as I am going through it I love this channel

[@ChitchatwithApril]

Thank you so much for this video. I love your examples. Very helpful.

[@megfitch8117]

Thank you David. This was helpful to me.🔆

[@needtoknow2462]

I lost my most special person in 15 January 2024 who's everything to me he's my bestfriend, my soulmate and love of my life. He's the one who makes me happy in any kind kf situation and the most important thing is that the way he understood me no one can understand me. Know. One knew anything about me like he did, he's the most important person to me but now i lost him. I missed him soo much everyday I'm crying. He's the only person after my family who's so close to me and most precious to me. Without him I'm nothing and literally this is happening now no matter how much i try to do something i couldn't I can't get over it. All the time he's face and he's smile i show in my mind all the time I'm thinking about him. I can't do anything but just missing him sooo much... This is the worst part of my life where i really don't want to live a life but i have to i have to live for my family it's soo difficult for me. Thankyou so much

[@janetboodhoo2111]

You are so calm

[@sharonlujan9497]

thanks a lot

[@geraldvanderpool6021]

I never really talk about losing my wife suddenly totally not expecting her death. We were married 50 years and four months. She passed on January 18th 2022. I miss her. I have tried to date kinda disappointing. I’m at peace with myself. What ever happens next will be different.

[@joycekanadet481]

Ouch & Wow!!!!! 🔥 🔥 🔥 Ur Words David Always Touch Just Right!!! Thank You!!!

[@Light32078]

So helpful!!

[@francinebasis8721]

Thank you, these details are comforting to understand what I've been living with for a year.

[@georgegarsea4404]

Thank you so much for your wise words. They have helped so much. 😢

[@karlroyce-bainbridge1391]

Thank you. Love life and blessings to you for your help. ❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤

[@janetboodhoo2111]

Omg i can give you a big hug because i feel just like that need some one to listen but there no one .

[@user-nh4uw2ji7o]

Brilliant video. Thank you ❤