What's With The Crossdressing?

[@PariahPsypomp6775]

I actually appreciated your thoughts on this because I'm quite the outlier in my generation that seems to hyperfixate on all of this stuff, whether it's the "for" or "against" how we want to box concepts of gender and sexuality. I don't like labels or terms; they imply a set of rules and distinctions that we try to follow, which seem nonsensical to me. From my teens into adulthood, I've always worn whatever I wanted and ended up looking like one of those 90s black metal boys wearing crop tops, skinny jeans, or, out of nowhere, a skirt or "normal clothes for a guy." Similarly, in regards to sexuality, I kinda just dated men and women, not thinking much about it. I've been told it's because I don't have "proper masculine role models," but I have plenty. I do the "guy stuff," so I've always been confused about people's reactions, not how I felt. It took me a while to realize that other people are confused because they don't come into their own on who they are. They let culture set the rules for them. I've definitely felt alone on this, but it's nice to find someone who approaches this similarly to how I do.

[@unthinkme_Adam]

That's amazing! Thanks for sharing this! I went through this whole struggle of feeling obligated to buy into a gender role, and slowly found myself outgrowing it. It sounds like you never really had a lot of anxiety or self esteem issues about the whole thing, other than perhaps people trying to "fix" your supposed problem.

[@oldsoul3539]

There's so many layers to this kind of discussion and examination of human nature. Some of the surface level stuff is different perceptions about what appearance is even about in the first place. To a lot of people the way you dress is about advertising yourself, that it represents their place in the social dynamic or showing off a potential offering wether social, sexual or business. To some people it's about finding what you wear appealing in some way, their brain rewards dressing up as something the same way it rewards looking at other people or pictures of other people dressed that way. Some people like to wear unusual fashion because it makes other people give them a reaction, while many more people won't wear unsual things for the same reason. I suppose these could be seperate it into doing it for a social or a self audience and doing that for social or personal reasons

[@unthinkme_Adam]

These are fantastically organized observations. Wish I had that for an outline when I started. These are important distinctions you've made here. Well, these were the stream of consciousness videos where I dump all the "gender" toys out of the toybox and leave a big mess. I will keep these in mind if I ever make more of a documentary presentation of it - oh, I want to, but this topic is so thorny, and careful... perhaps isn't my style.

[@tintintin070]

i guess i identify as a cis male but i think of that more as like joining a guild in an rpg for fun “oh, you guys wanna play this game? ok, sure i’ll follow these rules, sounds cool” (i also recognize this is a privileged experience in that it affects me none whatsoever because i’ve never felt strongly about it one or another and have never had someone try to tell me I should be different than I am). All that being said, over the years my perspective on gender has evolved as I’ve gained awareness and i haven’t seen it represented much anywhere so i’m happy to hear from someone who essentially holds the same views. I used to *feel* cis and now i’ve realized I actually just don’t feel anything, I mean I do align more with masculine traits or behaviors but i’m not inherently a man, not really inherently much of a human either cause i’m not really inherently anything but i digress. i guess i just wanted to leave this comment to express my appreciation. i was also surprised when you started wearing dresses and it’s cool to hear why. keep expressing yourself!

[@unthinkme_Adam]

Thanks! Yeah, a lot of people are on the same page that the whole psycho-sexual kit is low Level (not bad, or unimportant, just low). In my case, that cognitive dissonance and self-impediment did seem to inhibit my psycho-sexual "eros" drive, which, as I understand or perhaps just in my opinion, that psycho-sexual "spring in your step" of feeling attractive, lovable, and comfort in your step is remarkably similar to the drive towards transcendence and probing the inner depths. That fearless abandon is just like love. So, perhaps this topic isn't 'important' to the Integral developer game, but perhaps it is 'fundamental' to development, in that, well just in my particular case, I don't think I would have ever been interested in meditation and enlightenment, or growing up and Levels, if I didn't have a great deal of self esteem, or the belief that I could do something unusual because it intrigues me, and I think it's okay because I'm fit to judge that for myself - even though I know that it will be predominantly a social setback. I'm an American, but I don't roll in crowds that find me "brave" or "stunning" because that signals their personal politics, nor do I roll with Amber meme who would criminalize this. No, in my circles and lifestyle, it's generally unprofessional, and an indication of certain neuroses.

[@Morgan313]

As a genderfluid, I approve this video

[@unthinkme_Adam]

That's the term I like, too.

[@namal007]

You too?! it's going around! lol

[@unthinkme_Adam]

The trick is, I was doing it 30 years ago, and then society all of a sudden decided it was okay, enabling me to come out of the closet about it. I mean, that's the thing I'm really wondering about... it seems, even to me, that this is a trend or social fad, but on the other hand, it also seems that there are still an awful lot of people in the closet about it. In the 90's, I might have guessed 1% of men secretly or perhaps even sub-consciously would be intrigued by swapping gender presentation. Then internet came to be, and that brought my estimate up several points. Now with a huge trans movement being a political talking point and a point of pride generally for those on the left... it's like, every high school kid I know (granted I run with strange people) has changed their gender or orientation, or are strongly considering it. In my opinion, that's consistent with my experience of being a teenager, where you hate yourself deeply no matter what. So, I'm kind of suspicious that this isn't a matter of fringe statistics, but more like a thing where almost every person would try being another gender to some extent if it weren't a practical or social pain in the butt.