What To Ask Before Marriage, Fake Friends, Dating, Daughters Guilt | LATE NIGHT Q&A | Aysha Harun

[@cynthiaedwards3716]

This is for the young ladies wondering why it's hard to find a man that doesn't want to commit to a serious relationship. I'm a older lady that was watching this video and I had to respond. I know most young ladies might not want to do this but please understand what I'm about to say. LADIES if you hold off on being intimate with guys that you meet see how long they will stick around. Yes most will probably leave BUT they still might leave IF you are intimate with them. If a man is seriously into you, HE WILL Wait FOR YOU. If he leaves you then you'll know he didn't really want you from the start and you will at least still have dignity and respect for YOURSELF. 🙏☺️

[@MuniEatsASMR]

❤

[@ladyzakari2342]

Thank you so much

[@AuntieSenSen]

As an older woman I co sign this message!

[@bgsonsthriving.]

Thanks

[@Melaningirlie]

Exactly 💯

[@aishajanki]

Another red flags with friends is when they expect you to be friends with only them and get jealous when you’re building other relationships. Toxic friendships is a thing and if you smell the gas, run for your life!

[@aniyamarie8370]

Definitely! Those are the people that are jealous of you befriending other people but make you feel like a burden for sticking by them 24/7. You honestly can’t win and it’s best to cut your losses with them.

[@OnyxxRose]

Had to let that “friend” go. It wasn’t making me a better person at all

[@queenb2450]

STOP when you cried about the immigrant daughter moving out- I felt you so hard and was about to cry even though I never cry. I've never told anyone this, but one of the reasons I'm staying at my parent's house is because I'm actually helping them out while my brothers have moved out of the house. It's a bit unfair, but inshallah I will make enough money to move out and support them.

[@AyshaHarun]

It’s so hard 🥺

[@MuniEatsASMR]

❤

[@eminaroses7005]

Yes, you will. My older sister moved out and didn’t help my parents at all. I moved out at 27, bought my own house and financially help my parents. I’m 35 years old now. Me moving out helped me so much internally and professionally.

[@ye23.]

The guilt for muslim women moving out comes from this idea that we cant be without a mahram on our own for a certain time period. Idk what the ruling is on that but a lot of muslim cultures have adopted this and it leads to the unfair double standards in our communities. I shouldn’t have to feel guilty for moving out and bettering myself. And hell no im not waiting to get married for that to happen. I moved out last year and it was the best decision I ever made

[@eminaroses7005]

@@ye23. yes

[@ZED2.0]

Whenever you make dua for your spouse, also make dua for good in laws!

[@erigirl9358]

Honey, I have asked all these questions. I have known this person for 4+ years. The minute we got living together, everything changed. My advice would be please when you first meet them, don't tell them how the man you want to be with should be. They will use that and be exactly how you want them to be until you are married.

[@AyshaHarun]

1000% agree with you girl, trust me!

[@erigirl9358]

@Aysha Harun thanks sis for replying. I'm thinking about divorce just after being married for 3 month. I no longer know the man I'm married too. It is devastating

[@zraj3433]

@@erigirl9358 Sis, may I ask what expectations your husband does not meet? Did he lie about big things?

[@SS-cu8se]

@@erigirl9358 I’m sorry you’re going through this sis :(

[@erigirl9358]

@Zra J yes u might sis I didn't have much expectation to begin with. But just days after our nikkah, I found out that he lied to me about a lot of things. He is too controlling that I can't even speak with friends for long. When we go out if someone looks at me or compliment me( I dress modest also wear hijab), he gets mad at me. He is a high-school dropout, and I'm starting my masters. He doesn't seem to support me in it even though he promised me before that he is going to be 100% supportive. The person that I had known for years and the person that I know now are two different people. There are a lot of other things, too

[@eminaroses7005]

Very wise advise, Aysha. I believe normalizing therapy, inner work, and professional growth is so important before marriage. It’s like most girls go from their father telling them what to do to their husband telling them what to do. My parents never raised me like this (as we were refugees and other reasons) and they said to never rely on anyone else for my own success and happiness. When I met my husband at age 32, I was so solid in my life that my husband was so at ease that he didn’t have to “babysit” me.

[@895canada]

Islam puts great emphasis on cleaniness and personal hygiene. It's considered a major part of our deen. Everything is mentioned through the Quran/Sunnah, including toilet etiquette, wudu and ghusl, removal of pubic hair, circumcision, sexual hygiene etc.

[@BiancaColacin]

I understand you on the first daughter in an immigrant family tidbit. It is a ridiculous amount of pressure put on is as a child. I want to move away from my family just because no matter what I say my boundaries aren't respected. I want to have that ambition that I am responsible for my own livelihood. It's a different kind of huste when you have to PAY FOR EVERYTHING on your own, I admire everyone that does.

[@nadiadansani2139]

I think it’s also important to note that your friends chose to be in your life versus other contractual/obligatory relationships.

[@ye23.]

The immigrant muslim daughter guilt is real! I feel you on that. Its almost like we’re shamed into living with our parents but men can do as they please. I hate the double standards in our cultures

[@buzzbee42]

Yeah same my parents are also not allowing me to move out because of the culture, daughter has to get married first and then she can do whatever she want. But how did you find a confident to move out on your own and start supporting yourself fully financially. I feel like moving out from parents house can make you more confident and will grow internally but parents don’t understand that. My problem is to be confident on myself, courage and action to do it.

[@ye23.]

@@buzzbee42 I moved to a new city for work. I have a good job so can support myself. Ive always been confident. You just have to forget what people say and do whats best for you.

[@safiya1770]

Thanks for reminding people to visit a gynaecologist and have a cervical smear. My cousin passed away from cervical cancer at 27 years old - may Allah rest her soul. She was unmarried and never did schedule one due to cultural stigma around virginity/ hymen.

[@KL-nw9mi]

Sorry for your loss

[@mazli94]

Hey girl! I just wanted to say better help has proven to be breaching confidential information of their clients. I think it's something you should look into. There is a whole group of therapist and counsellors who have a subreddit thread that can't condone better help due to breach in privacy. Just wanted to let you know!

[@nadiadansani2139]

I think with friends not being as happy for you, I think it’s important to be mindful as to whether or not they are going through something, or if that’s how they react to everything not just with you.

[@denahunter9253]

Wow. I never knew there was such a thing as feeling guilty for moving out of parents home. I was kicked out of my parents home at 18 with no where to go. Today, I’m 45 and still don’t understand how my parents just made me leave for no valid reasons.

[@KL-nw9mi]

I relate. So sorry you went through this. God bless

[@nouraclaudina4163]

It’s really sad to that. My parents wanted me to be financialy and mentally stable before leaving. I was so exited to leave.

[@crystalrubbie9383]

YES MORE GIRL TALK SERIESSS...THIS IS NEEEDEED AYSHAAA

[@empress8971]

Yesssssss🥳🥳🥳🥳

[@ansaramohammed6419]

Please do the living alone video!!❤️ It’s definitely a love/hate experience. Being away from family is definitely hard!

[@biancacolmenares620]

2nd gen Mexican American daughter here and I feel the guilt man! I was the first to move out and left my older and younger brother at home and I it was hard. I felt bad for years! Just now realizing I deserve a life too and Can still do what I can from a distance. I’m also only an hour away but still…

[@noemidiop8015]

Lol same here, but I’m first generation 🇲🇽 LUCKILY my mom understands my dream and is supportive! So relieved they don’t rely on me for financial support

[@SaajdahBilal]

I love the fact that you're the one who's just so open about everything you'll always be my favorite KZbinr ان شاء الله ❤️ I've been watching before I had kids......never stop being you 💕

[@ZED2.0]

I love that idea of dating your friends, so cute

[@shaziapatel8172]

Love how you keep the advice real. Sorry that you had to go through what you did but I can definitely see that it made you an amazing woman. It empowered you!

[@Amina_23789]

A very much needed video! Literally the perfect timing thank you Aysha🥺❤️May Allah bless you Ameen

[@AyshaHarun]

Ameen, may He bless you too ❤️

[@MuniEatsASMR]

Ameen

[@arxshid]

ahh a new video! I’ve been binge watching you nonstop for the past couple of days even watching vids from 2017 😭 love your channel, Aysha! ❤️

[@AyshaHarun]

Aww thank you!!

[@nouramouctar817]

I think a video about living abroad/far from your family could be an interesting video. Would love to watch that

[@rhodealexandre6583]

She is living abroad alone

[@sammysnow2161]

Ma shaa Allah! How are you sooo mature for your age? I did not know half of the stuff you know now when I was your age, Aysha. 😂 ma shaa Allah sis! Loved your advices and tips even as a 30yr old old married woman of four kids. You’re wise beyond your age dear. Ma shaa Allah ❤️

[@TosTosTV1]

Awwwn! I cried too while watching yhu answer the question about parent guilt. I wish I got to live with my parents for a lot longer than I did, I wish to spend more time with them! Gosh it gets me emotional too, thats why sometimes I take leave from work just so i can go spend time at home, no matter how short!

[@lifewithklc]

Bottom line, men: will only get away with what they are ALLOWED to get away with. Sometimes you have to teach ppl how to treat you. If they don’t understand the assignment…🏃🏾‍♀️🏃🏾‍♀️🏃🏾‍♀️

[@maimounabarry3744]

Aysha always looking like a beautiful doll😍😩

[@nourahabona3541]

it’s always so refreshing to see you’ve posted a video!! I’ve been watching you for 5 years and you’re literally like an older sister to me. I love ur vlogs and I hope you know that you have a much bigger impact on your viewers lives than you think, sending love from the dmv❤️❤️

[@LatBak]

Great video. Even though we are not the same faith, I enjoyed this. There are very few sit and chat videos that one comes off feeling better or having gained some sense or direction from these days! Yours is def one of them!! Thank you! More, please!

[@jamilasalaam]

💕yeah so many things are universal!!

[@MiMi-js5nw]

Yes girl chat sounds good, wishing u loads of success on all areas of yr life 🙏🏽

[@ilhaanf663]

That's so true. Toronto is a multicultural city and I never felt weird wearing the hijab

[@NjBou]

Dang, what you said about men liking to browse through the thousands of women online is very true and so sad. I think maybe it also has to do with a lack of understanding what manhood is. I think many men remain boys into adulthood, and i don't mean to say this to demean men. I genuinely believe that there is a boy-ish culture that glorifies the immature traits of boyhood and belittles the traits of a man (to be responsible, to be family oriented, to be in love with one's wife, to sacrifice one's personal goals at times, to need a woman in their life etc.). I actually think that many women also struggle with something similar, and it looks very different on women. For women, I think it has to do with fearing having kids because of the self-sacrifice (which is very hard, trust me, I don't say that lightly). I also think many women fear aging more than ever because older women are not respected as much, so women try to dress and act younger....i think many men and women have seriously stopped wanting to get older, and marriage (especially for men) is very daunting because of that.

[@valf156115]

I really admire you for many reasons, including your intelligence, ambition, modesty and perservering with your hijab. you are beautiful mashallah

[@bootsmade4walking]

YES please make a video on moving out as a daughter. I may be moving away soon and struggle with the same guilt! 🥺❤️

[@ye23.]

Advice from a muslim daughter who moved out last year: just do it. Dont listen to the voices telling you no. You will thank yourself for it and you will grow so much. Stop waiting for a husband for your life to begin. This is the lie theyve sold us to keep us controlled

[@bootsmade4walking]

@@ye23. Wow thank you so much for your words. May Allah bless you! ❤️❤️❤️

[@maryammani9214]

I love you tip on newly graduated. I finished uni last year. MashAllah!!At first I was scared to join the cycle of life ( born, walk, school, work, marriage, kids, age, etc) I started thinking of jobs although I run a business; newly started last year. Back to the question, I want to travel have a healthy financial relationship with my bank etc. i can’t tho it’s not that easy as it’s is in the west. + I’m the first child I don’t even know aesthetics or beautiful places in my city ( only viewing on TikTok) so I don’t go out much but wants to travel abroad

[@maryammani9214]

Traveling in my country will need a lot of money and they are up to a Mill +. A 20 year old person can’t travel alone most especially if you’re a Muslim and a female. I support traveling. “What if “are always on our parents mind

[@ye23.]

@@maryammani9214 our generation of muslim women need to change the tides….we’re moving out …we’re travelling alone because we want to. Stop waiting for a husband for your life to begin. Makes me sick that girls will get into these BS marriages just to have a lick of freedom but get even more trapped

[@nadiadansani2139]

I like this video! Yes please do the advice column/girl chat monthly!!!!

[@ye23.]

100% agree with the fact that social media has led to men thinking they have heaps of options

[@harmony1032]

Mashalah Ayesha, you sound sooo mature and experienced in your young age Alahuma barik, its good to have role models like you for the youth and women in general as your advises are so beneficial for many x

[@noemidiop8015]

Yes!! 🙌🏽 💯 about traveling! Not just in your 20s but throughout life Insha’Allah 🤲🏽

[@newstart4190]

I always feel emotional as soon as some one ask me about my family. I feel you love 🥰

[@nais300]

Can I just say how much I appreciate how I literally be having internal conversations with myself and then Aysha drops the literal gems I just needed to hear! Keep it up Queen ✨💕 Much love sista!

[@Ariijiina]

I always try to be strong but I really feel down and I also don't know why and how. I feel I need to talk alot and need to be hugged but I don't know to who 😭😭😭 plz pray for me sisters

[@lightlight5706]

Asalamu aleikum sis, it’s going to be OK. Hugs and kisses 😘 from me. Read a lot of morning and evening du’as . It will help InshaAllah.

[@Ariijiina]

@@lightlight5706 thank u so much beautiful soul❤❤❤ Insha Allah I will do that

[@izram312]

Aisha babe you're literally glowing to no end omg pls do a tutorial on this look 🥺💖

[@dominiquerahim]

Asalamualakium Sis

[@haifaa4072]

I love how REAL you are 🤍

[@Rc97081]

This talk was literally just what I needed 🥺 literally felt like your my big sis sharing your gems♥️🥺 May Allah bless you with joy and success 🙌🏽

[@nanadiycorner]

Thank you Namesake! This came in handy. A recap of advice needed🥰🥰🥰

[@chaymasou7123]

You're soo wise mashaAllah 😍👌

[@AyshaHarun]

❤️❤️

[@omotanwa2986]

Actually washing yourself down there is much much talked about in Islam because being clean there is the first requirement before your ablution is acceptable before you pray.

[@faylandan5553]

great video! really enjoyed this raw and vulnerable conversation x

[@trrrooollfc1159]

Aysha you’re so amazing girl 🤍 you’re literally my fave youtuber

[@safiahanif7012]

Salaam Aysha. Firstly girl Ur skin is gorgeous girl. Secondly your vlog thank you for that. Also the composure of u is just ( chefs kiss). Keep living and being U Aysha Harun xx

[@Memkoh]

Really enjoyed this video, all your tips and your answer to the last question got me excited about creating content again.

[@nadiadansani2139]

Watching you eat a healthy snack as I am about to order half a dozen red velvet cookies

[@thisisarika]

This is all such valuable advice - so glad I came across your channel ❤

[@bekind3063]

Yasss just on time!!! ❤️🥰

[@___imhibo]

Really love these sit downs with Aysha 🥰

[@MadelineDellaMora]

You are just so wise and honest. I love it!

[@oumiam4953]

Excellent content as usual !! We love it

[@nadiadansani2139]

Felt that talking stage on a spiritual level and definitely needed to hear that

[@88Bionic]

Wow we’re so close to 500k girl 🥳🥳🥳

[@zahraabdi1494]

OMG AN AYSHA UPLOAD LEMME GET SOME TEA GOING :DDDDD

[@TheBlushingGiraffe]

Yaaaas your girl chats are some of my faves ♥️♥️♥️ genuinely feels like I’m sitting down with my sistaaa

[@ilhaanf663]

I was crying with you 😢 😭 I can feel it. My parents live in Toronto and I live in the US 🇺🇸. And feel the guilt all the time

[@Melaningirlie]

This video just came at the right time 🥺❤️ Much love sis ❤️

[@fatimaidris1652]

Masha Allah so inspiring, you said it all💛Discovered your channel yest but amazingly i hv bn watching your vedios at intervals and I am all smiles😍 GOD be witu

[@taraalston8697]

I'm getting a divorce. After 11 years he decided to cheat. I'm so lost right now.

[@somalialoves726]

Stay strong my beautiful sister and work hard on you faith, strength the relationship between you and Allah, practice self care and I swear you will be surprised 😮 how you made it ❤ 💙 💖

[@cashout9860]

Thank you for sharing dear.i love love deep conversations😢😢🥰

[@mariamajallow3378]

I don't know how to explain my emotions atm but I'm so down I've been really hurt. Please keep me in your duas

[@AyshaHarun]

Praying you are healed soon ❤️❤️

[@aishamodibbo7352]

You’re so beautiful tabarakallah Masha Allah 🌷

[@fatoumataaida9085]

You are really appreciated ✨😘 thanks for all the advices

[@heckitsbieberr]

Aysha, I loved this video so much!!

[@aishadibbasy]

Wait first of all you're so beautiful Masha Allah ♥️♥️♥️♥️

[@anum163muna9]

May Allah Bless you both and showers his countless blessings on you may Allah keep you both safe and sound in all respects :)

[@akinleyeolawale1326]

Can you pls show us what you're wearing in every video...... Always love your look 😍😍✌

[@Asha-zq5kx]

Any advice for an East African girl looking to move to California? I fell in love with San Diego and can’t wait to afford it. Please advise how to prepare and what to expect? How expensive? Lifestyle? Etc thank you

[@eminaroses7005]

HUSTLE. Get 2 jobs if you need to

[@pxach6329]

I love you so much I’ve watched you for so long and wish you the best always

[@PinkySultana86]

Always look forward to your vlogs!!♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️

[@aissatoubah7121]

I really enjoyed watching you all I pray for is to see you one day in my life ❤❤❤❤❤

[@Abak18]

Thanks Aysha I really like ur videos!🥰

[@halimamohammed6550]

Thank you Aysha for your valuable advice

[@rastawright71]

Cute sweatshirt...didn't know I'd ever see you in a mini mouse and mickey tee...loving the look on you

[@michellelogan9177]

I love this so much 🌹

[@barbarasanders3988]

Good advice I never took a vacation, but I planning on it . I am still in college

[@fifisiddika6605]

Beautiful video🙂Ma’sha’Allah

[@helpohelo1644]

That looks YUMMMM

[@monami4291]

I am an older woman . I have a daughter about your age and I hope that she will change her mind about buying a house for the same reason as you have stated. In this time of covid some people are not paying their rent. Congratulations on your new place. Will your brother help you move this time?

[@aminadaugherty891]

“Are we pen pals?” Why did that take me out 😂

[@Jamalosman665]

That is amazing sister

[@nadiadansani2139]

I was like did she make ice cream then was like oh it’s a fruit bowl then it was gelato, so I’m kind of right

[@rayansalih9996]

Looool I’ve had that pen pal thought too 💀

[@Hannah-ue2jn]

If u ever make a podcast omg hit me up 🤧

[@pamelajohnson9810]

Hi Ayesha you are beautiful with Beautiful skin you are glowing.

[@kukuagrey2669]

Insightful video… 🇿🇦

[@pandalicious175]

Aisha we miss your cooking videos 😭😭

[@be8cab]

I jump as soon as I could

[@lawandinformative]

Indeed it's late here

[@fardowsamusse3050]

Your so gorgeous MsA.

[@ugdailypop4522]

This channel shd b called Aysha loves food 🤣🤣🤣much lov from Uganda

[@hibomohamed8767]

We all love food that is nothing knew

[@Flourish_today]

@@hibomohamed8767 I think the comment came from a good place

[@aishaluminsa6505]

I thought I was the only Ugandan who watches and love her

[@valf156115]

Please share mango gelatoooo on the channel!