What to Do About Extreme Loneliness, Lack of Touch & Companionship? | Walk With Todd | Pai, Thailand

There is no doubt about it, we are social creatures. Isolation is a punishment far worse than prison. Exile from ancient kingdoms used to be considered the worse than death - and often meant a brutal death due to the harsh living conditions.
We humans need connection because we are a deeply interconnected species in an interconnected universe. We depend on one another. We need it like we need fresh air and sunshine. And unfortunately, we are living in an ever-increasingly isolated society. Day-by-day we become more alone and disconnected, and this is not natural for humans.
However, there are things we can do when we are deprived of physical touch. There are ways to diminish the suffering that our lack of connection causes. And we can tap into that inner joy and peace we all have inside of us that is not dependent on any external circumstance or experience.
In this video, I explore ways we can diminish this feeling of loneliness by looking to those many masters who've led by example. The monks who have spent years meditating in caves, the nuns who spend years in silent retreat, and those everyday teachers of life who have found the secret to peace in solitude.
Discover the oneness of the universe in this award-winning spiritual documentary, Aloneness to Oneness, at • ALONENESS TO ONENESS -...
If you like what I do and want to support our cause to bring peace to the world, you can join the community of beautiful souls here:
Patreon: / toddperel
Buy Me a Coffee: www.buymeacoff...
I get so many questions from so many people all over the world on social media. Questions about things we all wonder and think about. But not everybody is on social media, so in my weekly “Path to Peace” newsletter, I try to answer every single question so that everyone can benefit from the wisdom and knowing that none of us are alone. Subscribe to the newsletter if you are spiritually curious and ponder the deep questions about life as well: www.EastWestic...
Are you new to meditation? Start from here:
www.eastwestic...
Stay up-to-date on all my spiritual videos. Subscribe at / toddperelmuter
Subscribe to my podcast, "Path to Peace with Todd Perelmuter" for answers to common questions about mindfulness and meditation, and to join my spiritual journey of 9 years.
Spotify: open.spotify.c...
Apple: podcasts.apple...
Google: podcasts.googl...
One small positive message can uplift our day. Get your daily dose of positivity here:
Twitter: / toddperel
Facebook: / toddperelmuter
Instagram: / toddperel
Music by Macaque Healing Music
/ @macaquehealing

[@yerberohamsa]

I have been alone for about four uear in a mini farm. If it wasn't for this time alone I don't think I would have evolved spiritually to where I see myself today. While I do witness an inclination to share with like minded people it is a faint imclination and I am content with this present moment. Being alone ia a rare and precious opportunity for truth seekers and self inquiry.

[@onefishtwofish2771]

I feel this inclination almost in a timeless space. Its the presence of earth element, thats how i can express it. I have been alone for four years as well and i know that it is for the purpose to find myself. Theres a lot of physical activity around me, i mean the world is going on and in that midst you are going in a particular direction. From outside you cannot explain it, word it or perhaps the design is such that once you attempt to put it in words it evaporates. Looses the essence. Its a unique design cut out exclusively for each one of us. The road becomes clearer. Once you were walking in the mist and finally come out of it and realise it was fog. Everything appears to be crisp and crystal but thats just the begining of the new.

[@enough1494]

Agreed, I too live very isolated. Never felt safer. Still, Mother Nature is a huge challenge for me and my people. Getting stronger every day. Blessings to you

[@jess6011]

I am having the same kind of experience🙏

[@vesnaina]

I agree. To find your true self, you must be alone for a while. Hug the aloneness. And after that make meaningful connections. We are need each other also 💗

[@kathleenwharton2139]

@@onefishtwofish2771 Big people pleaser that I was..I Lost myself. I am regaining it through isolation and the inner voice. Let Go! Just Be! 😊❤️

[@dorotaciupka4974]

Thank you very much. I experience what you are saying about. I'm 54 years old with no husband, no partner, no children... but I don't feel lonely. I feel deep connection with nature, with every manifestation of life. It gives me a lot of joy and peace. I'm very grateful for my family around me: not only people, but also animals, trees, grass, flowers, soil, water, wind... ☺ Love from Poland 🤗

[@BATgirl57]

That’s so beautiful! I have a feeling we would be good friends if Poland wasn’t so far away!😍🕊

[@artisharma5422]

We can be good friends batgirl . Where do you live ? Which country ?

[@BATgirl57]

@@artisharma5422 USA , a deeply divided country right now, which makes me all the more grateful for kind souls like Todd Perelmuter❤️ Shining light into the dark shadows of humanity🙏 Thanks Arti for your reply😊

[@dorotaciupka4974]

@@BATgirl57 Sorry for not having answered. I've just read your words... Thsnk you very much for them. It's soothing that there are people thinking and feeling similarly all over the world. We may be friends regardless to the distance. All the best for you. ❤

[@karlrobb1654]

I am happy for you ❤

[@BATgirl57]

Oh Todd, I swear you read my mind! I did some journaling yesterday on this very subject! Sometimes I admit that I’m in love with a chair or appliance, plant or piano (no pets in my life) and this object loves me back! My meditation practice of 2+ years doesn’t bring me that oneness-with-all, yet, but I keep trying. I find dating apps sad and occasionally even disgusting. I feel hostile and irritated toward my neighbors and I loath “small talk”. I embrace my solitude, love to read, garden, build things, take walks, go to music events-never bored, rarely lonely, yet crave the intimacy that has eluded me for over 5 years. Married for nearly 30 years to the wrong person, I am not willing to compromise for anything less than a true soul mate. Meanwhile I bask in the unconditional love of the Universe and remind myself I am loved, alone but not lonely, and now I’m off to the beach! Thank you🙏

[@yerberohamsa]

Hi. My name is Victor. I live in a rural area on 5 1/2 acres and I live alone. Today I'm driving ober an hour to see is a group is of like mind so I can bave some social interaction, however, it is fine if it doesn't turn out as I'd like. My life is herbal medicine and my spiritual walk ks the foumdation of all I do. I would enjoy spiritual conversation, so of you'd like you can call me and we can be phone friends.😊

[@wendym2544]

You sound like you're doing very well. For what it's worth, with staining from alcohol or any other drugs, clean eating, and quitting caffeine could lead you to feeling the "oneness-with-all." Which is an amazing feeling.

[@Weeflowerofscotland]

Whenever I’m struggling with something, one of your videos just pops up to guide and comfort me. Eternally grateful for your wisdom 🙏❤ love from Scotland

[@tiffanymartelli]

I’m off grid, in the middle of nowhere. My town folk aren’t anywhere near awakening. I tried interacting, but it is only and ever, toxic. The time alone turned out to be just what I needed. I truly enjoy the time alone now. My life mission is to break free and rise above. I’m healing and rising above all the chaos. I don’t need no stinking meat suit. I need to be free🙏💜

[@kathleenwharton2139]

I Love your “meat suit.”

[@ahnaahna7278]

Thk you. I enjoy being alone….cooking, gardening, my cats…..but I have lost some things and people over the last 3 years. Had to recover from a bad auto accident. And yet I am grateful for my social security income, safe place, truly spiritual friends and quality food. Almost everyone I know is going thru a lot of inner searching and growth.

[@charlesmiddleton3247]

Haven't had any true connection in 5 years and since the last three years of craziness in the world, I've almost forgotten what its like! It's as though I stepped onto another planet! But, living alone has given me a much greater sense of myself and discovering new beginnings with nature, and my true self. It's as though the universe has opened up its love and surrounded me with its energy!

[@stacyloveharper3314]

❤

[@maggmicrodose]

Breath is our ocean. "We have this quality to be joyful and at peace.. whether we are at the beach or not" ,,, 🥰 Beautiful.

[@ChangeYourLife1122]

Solitude is the best opportunity to go within, i like spending time" alone " it's so peaceful, loneliness is an imagined suffering, it's a thought that the mind use to judge the present moment✔️☮️🙏💯❤️

[@440SPN]

💖

[@janefrantz6658]

Thank you! I wrote your comment down, about “loneliness being an imagined suffering, it is a thought that the mind uses to judge the present moment.” I really needed that! I will refer to that comment whenever I feel lonely. I really appreciate you! ❤❤

[@Susmaphuyal7]

I am 31 and I am already in this journey ,the journey of peacefulness , I fell so lucky that I went through all those vulnerabilities ,I was lost, I cried , I was analyzing everything but confused but I find my world within and I feel so blessed.

[@SuketaPatel]

Well..As seeking got deeper and deeper, I became more alone and isolated. I had to let go of all...to finally see. But they are all there....sitting in my heart. No more family parties, no more social or cultural events etc...but so much more spaciousness. 🙏🇨🇦❤️🌈🌎🌺🦋🏄‍♀️

[@Leon-cp8vs]

i can relate.....blessings🙏

[@RobertBrown-mm3un]

☮💜 Perfect timing, I just lost my partner of 30 years... I'm full of gratitude for having had this opportunity to love, & this, your walk of clarity rawks! Warmest mahalo ‼🤙🏽🌺

[@Healingheartpsychicservices]

I feel you I was widowed 8 months ago miss the touch but also like my independence Hope you are doing well

[@RobertBrown-mm3un]

@@Healingheartpsychicservices thank you I am doing better, 27 months in... I hope you're doing well too‼

[@anthonyg7181]

Really love walking with you Todd. Namaste brother

[@mritzs5142]

was over loved over pursued over controlled over consumed but still constant excruciating loneliness !! Now I am totally without a peer group, a lover, a partner, I miss the chemistry that pulls two people in but it can't be faked manufactured or created out of desperation. There has never been a happy medium for me because I am that particular energy you talk about .That mystical block of energy and I have no need to understand why, I just AM

[@user-uz8sn1qv8y]

naturally not every one of your videos will touch me. this one stands out for that reason. i do hope it helps others. i am trying to move away from 'loving things' in my life, as these things are a great burden to me. but, i was a caregiver for well over 25 years, and now i am totally alone. i dont know how to 'give care' to MYSELF at all, i dont feel i deserve to be kind and care for ME. I am just now trying to find meditation and comfort, i kept myself so busy before me losses, it didnt seem to be a problem. thanks, i am really enjoying and finding very useful most of your posts!!

[@lauraflint18]

Beautiful lesson. Much needed. Thank you.

[@enough1494]

I have not had a hug in years! Since, the storms Irma and Maria. At first it hurt me t be touched by anyone! Now I just isolate. Coming out little by little!

[@user-tk2wl6id3r]

I’m alone but not really alone. I know my Mom, Dad and my pets that passed is with me on a deeper level. ❤ this brings me closer to myself and all of them ❤

[@bambismomkelly7423]

Thank you for this beautiful and practical explanation. We cannot always control the circumstances of life, but we can control our reaction to it. Whatever difficulty we face, starting out by approaching the problem from a spiritual perspective is always best:)

[@minketheodora]

It is beautifull how you speack,. It pierces such a deep inner place,.that i forget so easily,. We are not alone, we are freedom , love and light, space of joy,.

[@lauriegoldsmith3511]

What a gem to find you and your talks, thank you. I appreciate your simple explanations. I have chosen to live alone for the past 12 years and while I have a partner, we live apart and do not see one another often. This arrangement is, at times, challenging and I sometimes yearn for more connection with someone close to me. I realize, however, that this time in my life is for me to go deeper into discovering who I am and my relationship to the universe and having space and alone time is what allows me to do this best. I have found other ways to feel socially connected to others in the ways that you described here and I am learning to be at peace with my choices. It has helped to hear you speak and to know from the comments here that others are on this wave length, too. I have always been my own person...an artist...a lover of nature...and I am grateful for the ways in which my lifestyle allows me to "see" the truth that you describe so well. I have bad days and as you say, they don't last. Good times are also transient. How to ride this wave of constant change without grasping and holding on too tightly...that is the trick!

[@natureisallpowerful]

Theres a big difference between loneliness and solitude. I can dip between the two.

[@jeanpierrezambello1688]

understanding the true words of Christ , you are incredible a true teacher ,just like CHRIST YOU HAVE SUCH A WISDOM YOUR WORDS AND YOUR VOICE IS SOUTHING ,THANK YOU FOR REMINDING US WHOM WE TRULY ARE . THANK PEACE ,AND LOVE TO YOU.

[@av26]

Clarity is what comes to mind after hearing this message So powerful: not wanting --just being + realizing we are all connected - what Todd refers to as oneness Thank you 🙏

[@jessp24]

I am so thankful for you. 🙏🏼💫❤️

[@karishort1891]

Your voice feels like home to my soul ❤️Thank you for sharing your wisdom 🙏🙏🙏

[@glabutis]

I’m glad I found your channel. We are one ❤

[@nicetomeetyoubeth]

Hermit mode here too and I admit I haven't been the most patient of students. It's hard not knowing literally anything for sure, but the not knowing is where the growth is. I know that. Thanks for this timely video that you made 8 months ago.

[@Sowenna]

And this ist exactly what I experienced too. I found Out that there is a spiritual guidance inside of me that comforts me and my daughter became a very close companion.

[@mammadontneedauto-tune3328]

A timely reminder and validation Todd, thank you 😊

[@deniseharding5209]

So true ..so beautiful 🙏🙏💛

[@BandiGetOffTheRoof]

Lookup Meetup in your area. I thought it sounded a little weird at first but really found a lot of nice normal people looking for social connections, Try starting with outside nature hikes...no pressure to even talk to anyone if you're shy...but you'll find it actually comes naturally without the pressure...

[@chaserofthelight1737]

Thank you so much. ✨🌹✨

[@genylee5000]

You remind me of Guru Ram Dass💜 🕊

[@ionaaj3736]

❤thank you Todd for your wisdom that arrives in my life with perfect timing

[@iElliottician]

Wow. Thank you Bro. ❤ and I love your Farm, so beautiful. 👌😍

[@margueritemullarkey1866]

Enjoyed the walk/talk with you. Not an easy time on earth. Keep going and wait and watch fir the inside JOY!

[@bargepoled]

There is a difference between alone and lonely. I've lived alone for 7 years while my partner of 15 years is living in another country (long story!). I have found that when we are together, usually a couple of months a year, there is a period of adjustment. We are used to living separately. It takes time to adjust to another person. We tip toe around each other until something one of us does starts an argument. The frustration is let out and then we are connected again and we are back in our default position of thinking about the other one 1st. It's a weird thing that happens. Sometimes I feel lonely. So what I do is go for a long walk. I can do a 2 hour walk that is streets, woods and parks. It's a good mixture. I smile at people. They smile back. I talk to strangers. My connection with humanity is restored. Sometimes I think I'm selfish for not feeling lonely. I'm happy just pottering about. However, ultimately I don't think it's good for my long term mental health to be living separately from my beautiful lady. So plans have been made to allow us to be together. But I'm scared I won't get that alone time I need. However, she understands I'm not a social butterfly like her. We are different people. There is respect for each other.

[@natureisallpowerful]

Yes solitude and loneliness are poles apart. I get out into nature. I struggle to connect with humans

[@vesnaina]

@@natureisallpowerful mee too 🤗

[@natureisallpowerful]

@@vesnaina it's hard to explain to so called "normal " people, so its easier to avoid them 👍🌳🏕💪🍄🌿

[@teosprock3508]

That's amazing.

[@kathleenwharton2139]

Love 💕 YourSelf! 😊❤

[@martugharzia]

So much wisdom. So grateful for your existence 🙌🏾💕

[@Sowenna]

Thank you Todd. In fact I think this is one of our Western societies worst problem. I was a single mum for over 15 years and m daughter has a handicap. But this loneliness wasn't Always bad. I learned to be on man own. But being q social animal one always longs for company. It can Take some time to find the right kind of people...

[@fionawalker4601]

🙏 thank you i needed this today 🙏

[@jackiefindlay1264]

Words of wisdom so beautifully conveyed. Thank you! 🙏💖

[@timbaker266]

Thank you for helping my moods !

[@user-cj4ss2bs4m]

luv thus mind set ,thank you

[@jewel2022now]

Thanks for sharing, great information 🙂

[@piratadelaverdad2057]

U r so right. Keep it up. Thank u.

[@gwencunningham4297]

I was told once if you love yourself you will never feel lonely. And I dont. I enjoy people but not necessarily need their company. I get a massage or Energy treatment when I feel the need for human touch.

[@maximalg1089]

Wonderfully said, like the way you do your videos with the walking around in nature 😊

[@hustle_tee]

Love you bro ❤++

[@annettemckelvey4212]

That is absolutely beautiful. Thank you.

[@METALHEAD550]

A real friend is a species that went extinct a while ago..................

[@tracyr.l.oflaherty2597]

Brilliant.

[@innerpeaceandselflove]

Wow you are good,im a new sub here for sure! Peace and abundance!

[@traceyomalley3797]

Funny hiow the rifgt one comes up the right time thankyou Todd i have been on my own fir a reason ..I am so grateful for this time

[@leisterfamilyleister1500]

GM thank you

[@JoshLooperMusic]

I just met someone much younger than I whom I connected with (I thought) so much on many levels of shared interests that I thought they could be the one for me to finally have to share my life with. It faded out quickly I’d say because I have an accent that’s not very becoming,age difference and physical distance a little over an hour. It started so spontaneously and progressed to a couple dates then just slowly burned out over a few weeks of texting. I’m at a loss at present of where to go from here. I’ve backed off and understand the feeling isn’t mutual but I’m feeling like I’m losing time to find that connection in my life. It’s caused me to enter a depression that might really be a heart break but none the less hitting me daily. It’s not the persons fault who lost interest that’s causing this. It’s my own self esteem that’s been struck once again to prolong this long battle of wandering will I ever meet that person? Am I destined to be alone? Have I gotten too old? Will I make it through yet another bout? I’m broken right now but fighting. I just don’t know how long I can go until I attain that unconditional love I need in my life. I’m tired. Bless you all

[@504ever5]

For some reason while listening to Todd's reassuring and wise advice, this comment asked for a reply...I have the same questions. Am I too old to find love? Will I ever find it again? Went on my first date in 8 years recently...and he wasn't interested in a second date. Online dating is brutal, getting ghosted left and right after starting conversations, not meeting folks IRL because my work is very solitary. Haven't been in a relationship for nearly 5 years and starting to wonder if another will ever come (never mind hoping the next one is the last one/lifelong). And what if a "good" match is halfway around the world or across the country? We never know. Sending you a virtual hug and best wishes. You are a magical being worthy of love, we all are, we can't let momentary disappointments dim our light. But it's hard sometimes, especially since the pandemic, I think people have often forgotten how to be kind and how to connect/reach out and talk to each other.

[@simonerusso6920]

Take care lots ov love

[@ruthkummer2654]

Amen!

[@Earthtime3978]

When I think of physical touch, I don’t necessarily relate it to a hug or holding hands, I think of sex. If you’re a man that had a lot of intimacy from his teens to his 50s, it really affects you to not have that outlet at 60. I dont find that relationships come as easy anymore, either that or I just lost my mojo so to speak. Some need sex more they others I suppose, it just so happens I’m one of them. I’m not talking about promiscuity but one solid to person to enjoy those physical pleasures with. Anyway, I really haven’t heard anyone comment on those needs specifically and that’s a very important component to life for many humans.

[@KianAllen-cj5is]

alone - all one

[@grahamtrave1709]

Thanks

[@safirijorgensen7842]

Truck driving Solitude hell

[@enough1494]

The few times per month I get out, if I do; I always make sure to stop at a good sunrise or sunset spot, it fills me up! I will bet you see them very often. Stop next time and soak it in! Hugs from the Puerto Rico.

[@indigoali5612]

What you think you need is merely a limitation

[@indigoali5612]

Touch is not like food, being alone is not like food, you need food and water or you will die

[@bethnorris1361]

If I believe loneliness is the result of not having something I require, am I unaccepting of life as it is?

[@ToddPerelmuter]

Thanks for the question. I want to give it the time and thought it deserves. I will answer it either in my newsletter, podcast or KZbin video so others who are going through something similar can hear as well.

[@JakeMyerz]

Yes

[@ezdagor7699]

thank you

[@karen65harris57]

0 everything and nothing…connecting to all

[@maryseokley6061]

There is always...massage available! (A business) !

[@clairebear1808]

Just lost all feelings I have been ill but I don’t even want company 😮😢

[@ToddPerelmuter]

Sending you love

[@Mr.S369]

I've been single since I was 40. I turn 60 this year. Wouldn't change a thing.

[@christyadkins9218]

We are in these meat suits. We have to live in them and we were created to be social. So I am sorry but we are not meant to be alone while in these bodies. We are supposed to BE in these bodies while we are in them. Loneliness is not natural to these meat suits and it will shorten the life of it.

[@teosprock3508]

Oh 100%. Loneliness is as deadly as smoking 15 cigarettes a day, look it up

[@user-jk2gh1cg8l]

Hi Keith

[@PaulaWolfson444]

I don't agree that were all social animals, i am definitely not a social person ive got a massive family but I love being alone x

[@simonerusso6920]

I av been a addict 36 hears ov my life today is 2 years clean and i love beeing on my home but some time yuo need company i just dont now wat to talk abaout i dont care 4 money to much dont like social midia av yuo got eny suggestions

[@mandahutchinson2467]

Congratulations on your 2 years sobriety!🙏 I’m a big fan of NA, narcotics anonymous , there’s AA to, both fellowships, for me over time Iv connected with what I can now call friends! With people who get ya 😊💯🙏

[@Claudete1me]

Keep going! If you don’t care for money? Turn that key. Money is important too. I am 54, I spend my time, looking for spiritual learning. I decided to do self awareness, Neville Goddard, Joseph Murphy are my mentors. I decide to do a dance class, and I go every Friday. It was hard in the beginning and last Friday was the first class that I really enjoy. In one of my studies, I learned that people that have their inner child hurt have difficult to express themselves in home how in art. So, I told myself, you are not hurt anymore. I am sure it was the key to have the best class since I starts two months ago. So, look for a dance school near to you, GO! At the beginning you will feel ridiculous because you can’t do good, but be gentle with you, and give time to you brain and body to catch the steps. Hope my advice helps you. Sending my love to your heart. Thank you Keith for this video

[@shaunontheweb8119]

Great insight...you are not hurt anymore...love that...enjoy!!

[@roxane9012]

🙏🧡🙏

[@enough1494]

🕊🙏💕

[@ElisPalmer]

🌟❤️🌟

[@sharajackson2129]

I also believe recieving massage, reki ,a warm bath ,spa,hug a tree, whatever it takes to realease oxytocin and relieve stress in the body. Being a physical tactile person this is paramount for my wellbeing especially being currently single 💓