What Unorthodox Teaches Us About Trauma | Netflix

Unorthodox is Netflix original that tells the story of Esty, a woman who runs away from her arranged marriage and Hasidic Jewish community in Williamsburg, Brooklyn to Berlin and a new life.
In this essay British writer Sophie Wilkinson discusses how the show depicts trauma, both inherent and sustained.
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What Unorthodox Teaches Us About Trauma | Netflix
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A Hasidic Jewish woman in Brooklyn flees to Berlin from an arranged marriage and is taken in by a group of musicians - until her past comes calling.

[@hotinmybags]

Whoever decide to do video essays on Netflix shows and movies to promote content deserves a huge raise

[@adamgraham8148]

NOt just that - they've also shown the cultural sensitivity to have the narration done by someone Jewish or worked with a cultural consultant, not just on the background info but even the correct British-Jewish pronunciation of specific terms

[@Angie_978]

No kidding. I actually am considering getting Netflix just for this show. Like I got Hulu just for handmaid's tale.

[@luvvjulia21917]

I agree

[@reneesirkhot7317]

@@adamgraham8148 the way they painting this in movies,????? OR not??? Its like painting orthodox Jews in a bad light,,, at least that value system,, protects!! Look at the ,, western daughters, families , destroyed by , evils of ,parrot fashion , prostitution, etc, such evil reigns this world. ,and people ARE Saying that ,,, good is deemed evil AND evil is deemed good!!!!

[@reneesirkhot7317]

@@margaritacrisostomo9891 well, firstly i commend you as the mother of your kids, for having giving them education. My, dear, NOT all , females have those "means" to further theirs kids education, despite them educating their kids. Some women strong like yourself, yes,probably financial means also. Its, actually about the Jewish way of life, and the teachings, the topic is about,that video, surrounding , in the moment, THE catastrophic in the outside world, so meaning if your situation , makes a BETTER , home life, wholesome ,for your kids, keep them WITH you, presently, comparing the kids (like yours) who obviously appreciation your values u instilled, then there elements out there, suck in vulnerable kids, even in universities, without further ado, percentage wise ,how many drink,drug, into bad things, then those who dont ? Balancing , Act of, , , each parent knows there kids, they made them big! So , let parents who are on board in every way with their kids , Jews, Muslims ,Christians, etc Be THE deciding force, See its society out there who , stigmitise, kids from. Orthodox religious backgrounds, yet, their values are instilled, no matter what, but, sadly majority of kids, dont make the professional life, due lack finance, parental support, or they on drugs ,liquor. In a nutshell, evil has engulfed worldwide. So, if your a kid now, What's wrong , with having wonderful loving, parents who are religious ,and , the entire humanity can do wirh real praying , people.. Sometimes, seeing others in positions nd saying , well if I can do this so can anyone else, oh yes , but sadly., not always possible or feasible, the mere circumstances of some kids, just won't give them that open door" That's a vast topic .

[@ZolaClyde]

Closed captioning for the video would be extraordinarily helpful for those who are hard of hearing and essential for those who are deaf. Please.

[@emilymagyar1794]

ZolaClyde YES! This bothers me so much on videos. It would be so helpful and would help gain more subscribers for the channel. Yes, it is more work to add captions, but the benefits would outweigh any inconvenience

[@ClaudeAlmansi]

@@emilymagyar1794 and ZolaClyde: There are English captions for this video in amara.org/en/videos/sg9blAbAthbD/info/what-unorthodox-teaches-us-about-trauma-netflix/ . Arabic subtitles appear first due to some glitch, but just click on Arabic at the bottom of the player and it'll open the option to switch to English.

[@katarinaax]

Very important!!

[@simosc2]

I agree, but something is wrong with the audio on this film. I have excellent hearing and gave up trying to understand what was said.

[@irrelevance3859]

Agreed. At the very least auto-generated captions. Unless a video has no voice at all I don't understand why some channels turn off auto gen captions

[@Sbannmarie]

I work with people with trauma and can't begin to describe how impressed and utterly shocked that Netflix is allowing/promoting this content. Well done.

[@jane-cn6nd]

Yes. Things should be shown as they really are.

[@isda3314]

Im impressed too-

[@angelmontanez7307]

Your beautiful as hell

[@user-po9iy3pk2y]

You shouldn't be because they're doing this in the name of antisemitism and misinformation about orthodox jews they love doing that

[@linsmith3767]

Netflix is one sided, A very small percentage of women shave their heads, there is no law that they have to do that and 99.9% do not....

[@micahsnow346]

Netflix is now making video essays about its own shows to advertise? They know me well, lol

[@Mugruncher]

It shows they’re being smart and seeing that people watch reviews and analysis on KZbin, so why not do it themselves?

[@Melodyofthesea78]

@@Mugruncher I'd rather watch people on KZbin do it though. I go to Netflix to watch movies and shows not for this. I watch movies to escape reality for a little while not be reminded of how crappy life is. Let the KZbin comunity do it. They're being stupid they have been since Cuties and dropping The Dark Crystal. They should just stick with movie trailers.

[@obi_oma]

@@Melodyofthesea78 | Well this is youtube...if you don’t wanna hear about it, don’t watch the video? It’s the same as any other KZbinr so if you don’t want to watch their review then don’t Watch it. No one’s forcing you.

[@lavendertuesday]

Yep, they've got my number as well.

[@talithakoumi5728]

Screw Netflix and KZbin. Read a book.

[@WanderingWaystrel]

My favorite thing about the show is that it demonstrates how people in religious high control groups are sheltered to the point that they more closely resemble children than adults in many ways. Every interaction between Yanky and Esty feels like an interaction between 12 year olds, not 18 year olds. They’ve been separated from the opposite sex their entire lives and it ruins their ability to form a cohesive marriage, even though they like each other and want so badly to make it work

[@sofiamorgan6644]

Allison Willner we have the example of how the leadership of the cult of Jehovahs Witnesses tell them to be like children and avoid independent thinking.

[@sofiamorgan6644]

Patricia Patrick It is a show by Leah Rhemeny from Scientology series.

[@jane-cn6nd]

Because it doesn't matter what the two of them want at all. It's simply a marriage for procreation to repopulate the world with the millions that died in world war II.

[@christinebuckingham8369]

Patricia Patrick It’s a very good show!

[@tonibauer2949]

Christine Buckingham yes, very good indeed.

[@rubyreduxx]

Excellent breakdown of generational trauma. Why people will see this for many cultures apart from Africans of the diaspora living in ghettos and slums I’ll never know.

[@balthasardenner5216]

I think people often want to distance themselves from trauma they're most directly responsible for. White Americans know they're responsible for black American trauma so they blame black people in order to deflect. White Americans don't feel near that level of guilt towards Holocaust survivors. In Germany there is rising anti-Semitism and neo-Nazis. People never want to look in the mirror and accept culpability, they need to feel like they are good in order to live. They would rather blame their victims.

[@greenlilac32]

A few years ago (maybe 10) when I was a young adult I had such a heart to heart moment with a black woman. I’m indigenous Mexican for context She told me she was barely trying to get past generational trauma and that no one knows how she felt like as her ancestors were enslaved I told her I can understand that. My ancestors were largely wiped out in a genocide and the survivors were enslaved And she looked at me and just said “white people” and we laughed lol From that moment on I always felt a kinship with black people and I wish my people would reach out to them more We’re so alike and come from similar pain

[@clod8]

BalthasarDenner Most European American’s ancestors immigrated to the US after the Civil War ended, so their ancestors weren’t here during slavery times. My white ancestors were here and fought against slavery. The US would still have slavery if a majority of white people didn’t fight against it. I’m also half Honduran, that side is mostly Spanish/Indigenous, but I have about 3% black ancestry. I am so proud learning about how the Garifuna people escaped from the British and came to Honduras to be free. It’s so hard to have generational trauma and to have horrible things still happening to black men especially, but you don’t need anyone else’s permission to shine. I believe I am descended from strong, hopeful people-all of them. I wouldn’t be here if they weren’t strong- that includes my African, Indigenous and yes Euro ancestors, too.

[@balthasardenner5216]

@@clod8 Anti-black racism has continued long past slavery, and continues to this day. Slavery wasn't the beginning and end of it.

[@clod8]

BalthasarDenner For sure!

[@zach2049.]

Why are some people mad ? This show is clearly not anti religion or anti jews it's far from that ! It's about the struggles of a certain person in her extreme community! GOD is not the problem , people are !

[@squigley4809]

Yes! The trauma they showed here happens in every religious household that is very restricting to their young to the outside world and people. And also not giving them any knowledge or shunning them for deciding to do certain things with their life.

[@robertp.5400]

Exactly, and they're portraying it like this is what judaism is all about not even the most religious jews behave like this, that's why people are mad (Try to make such a show on black people and see what happens...)

[@zach2049.]

@@robertp.5400 no it's about hasidic jews in new york ! Not all jews , it's also not about "jews" it's about this character's struggles in a hasidic ultra orthodox community

[@robertp.5400]

@@zach2049. bro, I'm literally in such a community rn, it's literally all bullsh*t, it's only true for one person (the main character),has nothing to do with community, these are no ones rules and ones practice.

[@zach2049.]

@@robertp.5400 alright! But that's not what i meant, someone does go through the same thing she did it's a true story anyway

[@angelahamlett8249]

Every culture is dealing with Traumatic experiences. We should all should have compassion for another's pain.

[@marycanary86]

we can acknowledge their pain and still call them out for not dealing with things in a healthy or useful way

[@FreeJulianAssange23]

5 years of active healing is how long it took me to overcome PTSD. I feel completely healed though I have self- isolated the whole time and will find the courage to get out and go back into society.

[@blicket282]

You can do it!!

[@piedpiper7051]

Wishing you peace, love, health and clarity!

[@calicocritterscrafts886]

Moving through PTSD is such a hard and long journey. Kudos to you for doing the work it takes. It took me three years of living in a completely new place (city and state) away from any influence of my abuser before I could even come to the realization that NONE of what he did was in any way my fault. 3 years.

[@sibs544]

Why can't Netflix make more emotional and realistic movies like this as well as the fantasy ones but still, but they chose to make cuties and the kissing booth

[@Nothing_Israel]

Looks like they're doing both.

[@tomato_6681]

I wish there were more shows like this and grand army, which revolve around real life and people´s daily struggles (not saving the world from people-eating flower-headed monsters). There are so many good books and stories waiting to be filmed, such as Educated by Tara Westover, for example.

[@limay8261]

Nada de esto pasaría en la parte de Berlín, pork al ser alemana recibe inmediata ayuda del estado y lugar donde vivir y protección si ella lo pide así

[@billyb7852]

Cuties was supposed to be in this vein, it was a serious story about the sexualisation of children, written with sensitivity and nuance by a woman. The film was shelved following public outcry when whoever was in charge of marketing decided to make a provocative photoshoot featuring the child actors. It reminds me of the pre-emptive outrage against “Dear White People” when that came out. The Kissing Booth was based on a novel written by a teenager. All have their value and place on Netflix IMO.

[@Trenchant468]

Am I alone in seeing the lake scene as a Mikvah rite of passage into herself, cleansing the past, and entering her new life, equivalent to , and reversing her Mikvah in preparation for marriage? (Not simply embracing and refashioning the once Jewish blood-soaked lake?)

[@gladysformal8380]

Dance Fan No, you're not alone. I think the same thing.

[@raic3283]

Thats a great analysis

[@ricardosoto5770]

Is just that..

[@layeokoh8006]

Yes!

[@Veronensis]

that is a beautiful take on it!

[@johnross5098]

I can’t wait for “ what 13 Reasons Why DOESNT teach is about suicide”

[@imageco296]

John Ross HUH??

[@that1nerdyblackgirl736]

13 reasons why is a fucking shitshow of a series......

[@loveforkeiko2751]

13 Reasons why is created by attention seeking individuals who never take accountability of their actions or thoughts and always look for other people to blame about their sadness and discontent.

[@mistid1485]

@@loveforkeiko2751 I don't think that was the message. I didn't really take it that way. Tbh I think they should have just advertised 13 reasons why as a dark teenage drama than a "realistic take on suicide" though.

[@loveforkeiko2751]

@@mistid1485 okay. Your opinion is respected. Nicely worded. Thanks for not throwing loads of badwords at me unlike others who 'disgaree to disagree". But i see it different.... Dont get me wrong, teenage reality and concerns are real for them. Everything is new and real to them. I get it. And without adults to guide them and tell them there is more to life than melancholia or being wanted, they get encouraged to go deeper into the thought that there is no way out. While others see dark drama in this show, I see misguided channeling of thoughts and emotions. The person did not get the outcome she wanted or expected, she's gonna kill herself. And make a tape to make people feel.. guilty? The person is already 6 ft under for killing herself and people will move on with their lives... up to the very end, she wanted attention on her.. "Look what you made me do mentality"... while it is true that we live in an environment that influences our thought and actions, we also transfer energy and influence to the same environment... so we are in a way responsible for our own actions. We cannot force people to like us or accept us, if we can then that would make us a manipulator(?). 🤷‍♀️... she was actually going to this path by doing the extreme in the hope of having an "emotional control" on the people in her tape. Tbh, this is just how i see it... i still respect your opinion. 🙂

[@giselestrauch5146]

the traumas in this series I experienced in my former marriage that ended 20 years ago. and with all the therapy I have to deal with this the after effects are always with me. thanks for providing this forum to address this. thanks for caring too.

[@SkeletonCreeper03]

so sorry to hear this. Hope you’re doing fine now

[@fabbrunette]

Gisele it sounds like you left the hasidim. That is no small feat. It takes a strong person to leave all they know.

[@Ritercrazy]

I am so sorry. I hope you find further healing.

[@lisalove511]

God bless you honey 🙏🏻❤️🙏🏻

[@isda3314]

I hope you're doing well now

[@Linasmr7]

I'm a saudi woman and I relate to this show in many ways.

[@mab5107]

@Your Destiny well what you know is wrong :)

[@nonii7775]

Same girl.. Same.. 💔

[@calicocritterscrafts886]

I grew up with a very domineering parent who proceeded to abuse me. There are so many ways this correlates to some of these religions.

[@aliciaalvarez8306]

I hope this changes for young girl and woman around the world.

[@ruben-king8320]

Shira Haas, Esty, is one of the best actresses I’ve ever seen!

[@sharonlohman3425]

agree!!

[@oumaimajanouj6309]

so no one was gonna tell me that trauma is also inherited

[@rayijamona497]

Ye. Intergenerational trauma i think its called

[@DipityS]

Towards the end of WWII there was a famine which affected Holland, among other countries. They've studied the descendants of those who survived starvation and it's striking - there are physical and mental affects on after-generations - it's so very interesting and eyeopening.

[@sylviasmith7371]

Epigenetics is real and scientifically proven.

[@watchgoose]

There is no gene for trauma.

[@MikkiManson13]

Yeah like a parent having PTSD/trauma from an event, and mental health issues being passed on to their kids through the environment (can be passed on based on the 5 factors: communication, conflict, family cohesion, parental warmth, and parental involvement, and of course lack of parent getting treatment), which can then pass on and on. It's generally just psychological, but with the epigenetics can be added in can make you more susceptible to mental health issues like that but epigenetics change with the environment so anything with epigenetics is not necessarily a life sentence

[@o.h.w.6638]

My father grew up in Germany during the war in 1936. He was/still is the coldest person I’ve ever met. I don’t know weather to be angry at him or feel sorry. It’s an awful way to begin life in a house like that.

[@annasoph8967]

Praying for you

[@leavoda3791]

This kind of movies are extremly needed in this time of confusion and uncertanty. If we stay focused and dedicated, if we do things on time and embrace our differences with respect, there will be a brighter future for us and our children. We can make our world better by learning from the past, not dwelling in it.

[@Ritercrazy]

Dramatized rape is never needed. And furthers the traumatization of those who watch.

[@katc6128]

Vaginismus disorder is a very real thing. It's the condition Esty had in the show- and so do I. I found out I had it 11 years ago when I was 20. I won't go into detail, but it has been an ever present issue in my life- a very painful one :( It's uncommon to hear it talked about or meet someone else who has it, so when this was mentioned in the show I was 1. excited, because validation and representation, but also 2. Very emotional. All those painful sex scenes in the show I related to them 1000000%. So for those who might think otherwise, just know that sex actually can be very painful EVERY time for some women :(

[@user-ll5id2kw8g]

I had it too. I wonder if it was due to orthodox upbringing and shaming. It took some years to learn to relax.

[@simonakatsman974]

I have this condition too and it's embarrassing to live with. Thankfully my partner is constantly trying to validate me and doesn't make me feel shame for it.

[@thegoat20066]

From what i heard that condition can be caused by the trauma of living in purity culture as well as sexual abuse

[@katc6128]

@@thegoat20066 Yes, you are very right about those causes. Sadly :/

[@39zhanna]

They don’t know anything about for play or lubricant which also causes problem, feeling of shame to be with opposite sex..

[@rusyrichter544]

As a girl that has grown up in that same community and still is a part, I have found this series so heartbreaking to watch. My heart went out for “Esty” what she went through, it is absolutely terrible and no one should have to go through that. But this is her story and not at all everyone’s which it comes across to be. In every community there are these stories and it is so sad and unfortunate! But if you go and ask people living in that community they can say a completely different story! There are so many people in this community that has amazing happy marriages and loving families and schools that answer your questions and accept you just the way you are that isn’t pressuring etc. If you go in with negative eyes you will see these people because there are people that are like that in every community but if you come in with an open mind you can see an entire different picture.

[@samaraisnt]

It's not the same because Orthodox Jews can't use technology so you have more freedoms than them. I agree, most Jews are happy and loved by their community! But she is ultra orthodox so you can't say it's exactly the same just cause the ultra strict sect of any religion will always have it worse.

[@agentstarling9998]

Wow, what a fascinating story line. What is interesting is how the Hasidic theory dissolves all other culture trauma away as though no others human beings experience trauma. I am gay and the scrutiny that gays face is excruciating and isolative. I am glad this movie highlights that emotional sensation. I will watch this movie!

[@virginiaplain100]

A lot of groups are like that. They develop a permanent sense of grievance because of past trauma. It's not unique to the Hasidim.

[@gothicyid]

@@virginiaplain100 I dont think you can liken homophobia in todays time to what happened during the holocaust or inquisition but it is very similar to the African American mentality that is passed down from their anscestors being forced to work as slaves.

[@BoardroomBuddha]

Agreed. So few people remember that over 50,000 Americans dies from AIDs between 1981-1996. It was a Holocaust that no one acknowledges still...

[@Melanie-jy2nw]

Have you seen it now? What do you think? I loved it ❤️

[@Historian212]

Agent Starling No idea why you think that. Also, this video is misleading in several ways. It was made to publicize a series that’s a fictionalization of one woman’s experience. This video says that the Satmar sect of Hasidism uses traumatic memory to insulate itself from the outer world. The truth is much more complex than that oversimplification conveys. Don’t just take Netflix’s word for it.

[@jeank8061]

The miniseries "Unorthodox" demonstrated life in an ultra-religious community and it gave me a lot of empathy for women who grow up in these kinds of communities. I suppose one could argue that there is an up-side: a sense of belonging and being a part of a close community. But the down-sides are much greater, esp. for women: namely because it is clear that they have but one purpose and that is to have children. The women's needs and feelings, hopes and dreams, gifts and ambitions are not at all important. If women weren't saddled with caring for children when they're barely out of childhood themselves, I wonder how many would leave?

[@jensmith4411]

It makes me sad though that the largest group of very fundamental religions out there are known for violence. You try to help women there or even speak about what happens, and you're likely to get shot or your head cut off. We need to be brave for those women are worthy of help too, are they not??

[@lightscameras4166]

@@jensmith4411 I can assure you that ultra orthodox people might like to call themselves religious, but they have a wrong understanding of things. Mainstream religious people aren’t like that. Neither are their women oppressed. That’s a common fallacy but it will never be true. I am a Muslim and many things are wrong with isolated Jewish communities. Remember: true Muslims and Jews aren’t like that. Muslim women are liberated.

[@shloimyporges2530]

Seems like you have no idea of what's happening in the Ultra-Orthodox Jewish communities in New York and beyond. You can ask every Hasidic woman, they all have much more to life than just having children, there a lot of space for women's needs, feelings, hopes, dreams, and it's important, as much as for men.

[@lizziebkennedy7505]

@@lightscameras4166 Bwahahahaha!

[@lizziebkennedy7505]

@@shloimyporges2530 we don't have to. They bought this book in numbers. They responded with their feet. Check out the Brooklyn sales alone. Ask the lower west side and Brooklyn (non Jewish) counselling services who their main clients are.

[@josieschmo4172]

The show is fascinating and the actor who plays Esty does an excellent job!

[@Shootskas]

1:28 This community fights intolerance by being intolerant of anybody but their own ethnicity.

[@ChampaAinjel]

What a provocative sentence. If I were to post that somewhere without any context and ask the public what ethnic group I was referring to...there would undoubtedly be many different answers.

[@LM-jd6oj]

Change the word "ethnicity" to "in group" and you open it up even more- religion, sexuality, voting demographic, it's almost as though this is a practice that transcends all markers of humanity.

[@nicoleko2335]

As a non religious jew living in israel i can tell u hasidics are a really small minority of all jews and some of them also show intolerance for all jews who don't live the same way they do. They consider all who arent hasidic (from non religious to some religious to atheists to other streams of judaism such as reform jews) as hectics and ignore them or treat them badly. My main concern about this show is that people will think most jews act like the hasidics u see, whilst most israeli jews and jews in general or more like Yael.

[@Shootskas]

@@nicoleko2335, yeah. There are communities like this in all parts of the world. And it doesn't solely depend on ethnicity.

[@MikkiManson13]

it's different and understandable when your community faced actual genocide and discrimination that led to the deaths of countless people

[@ruthagautam]

Unforgettable performance by Shira Haas ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

[@CHarlotte-ro4yi]

I don't recall if the show really showed this but what makes Berlin an especially distinguished setting for the emancipation of Esty in unorthodox is the ambiguity of this city. On the one hand (and that was very well represented in this analysis) it reclaims a lot of freedom by letting everyone be themselves or whoever they want to be. People tend to say, Berlin isn't like any other place and that in Berlin everything is possible (much like it was the case in the pre-Nazi era as well). However Berlin also wears its trauma on its sleeve. Behind every corner, each cobblestone, each wall of this city breathes history and tells it loudly to the people passing by. You cannot visit Berlin without noticing its troubled history (even if you made a conscious effort to avoid it, you couldn't). At the very beginning this can be exhausting but for me it is also extremely humbling. I worked as an intern in the economic ministry and frequently went over to the ministry of finance which is situated in a building formerly hosting the Nazi-ministry of aviation one of the central figures of Nazi-Germany and the Council of Ministries of the GDR. You could not go into this building without sensing its troublesome history and everyone working in there is reminded of this daily. In that sense not forgetting becomes an active task that also means to work for something like this to never happen again.o

[@queenelizabee7246]

Why is it that when I seek out stories for better understanding of myself, my trauma, and the burdens women face in any fascist of life I end up crying in my bed and realizing how much we truly endure. We are burdened to endure mental and emotional trauma while men endure physical and socioeconomic life trauma. Life is cruel. It’s meant to be, but damn it’s hard to accept. I’m ranting...I need to go watch cute anime shows or something

[@BeGlamourlicious]

This show is one of the best shows of this century. I’m German and so it struck a nerve.

[@mikenogozones]

I enjoyed it too as an American and not Jewish.

[@Cherblue3]

This show was so powerful and moving! Estys freedom from her life was revolutionary !

[@josjesuscreepers3684]

This was SOOO helpful. I've never seen this show, but this video essay describing the theme of how we deal with trauma and the generational ties attached to trauma in families is extraordinary. It's things like this that help people heal. Both me and my family have gone through trauma and this was a beautiful way of expressing what it's like. Thanks Netflix

[@Cherblue3]

This show was POWERFUL....I was never left bored at any moment... The story was moving, relatable. yet sad....

[@cherryfairyy]

the concept of trauma being generational and being passed down is very interesting. my mother had a lot of trauma that was followed by addiction and her mother died when she was young. now my mother died n I find my life repeating that of mothers except even worse. but repeating things in almost strangely similar ways. we have to break the cycle

[@KateBates22zabu]

cherryfairyy my mother didnt raise me n my life followed her trajectory in many ways. I always thought if I would have known her I could have guarded against making same mistakes

[@sandrameesala6804]

Netflix needs to do more video essays! This was so insightful!

[@1951kvk]

I watched the series this week and wept. It was accurate and stunningly realistic.

[@Historian212]

Mary Therese McCool Are you a former member of a Hasidic group?

[@lizahope1233]

I don’t know what you are basing your response on but as a member of the Hasidic community I find it completely inaccurate

[@itsme-mt2fo]

Liza Hope same. very far from the truth

[@daniella2625]

I'm Jewish, and I'd like to point something out. While there were a lot of accurate moments, there were also some inaccurate moments. For example, married women aren't forced to shave their heads; sex isn't that inconsiderate; Jews are not uneducated; men don't only study the Torah, and women aren't just baby machines.

[@lizahope1233]

Daniella well said

[@mariusbaltazarrozenberg-ho9367]

I'm not Jewish. I'm crying my eyes out.

[@jittmet7766]

It is moving.

[@ladyredl3210]

If you, like me, and many others have ever been a victim of religious extremism, you feel for the characters in this story. And, also, if you have empathy as well.

[@constanzathomas1586]

it means you are a human being with human emotions. embrace it.

[@bernadetteburgoyne8238]

I watched the movie with my 23 year old daughter and we both cried so hard. It was with to us as free women, we couldn't understand how their upbringing could affect them until this movie was released. It was very well made, The actress that plays Esty is a brilliant actress. I also believe this was her first acting role. Amazing. Very well written and acted film xx.

[@sharonkaczorowski8690]

An amazing film...I heartily recommend it. I’ve been through my own trauma...through lasts a lot longer than the traumatic event or events. This spoke to me at a very deep level.

[@egguboi7762]

omg i literally was bawling near the end this is beautiful

[@joshuajones9035]

i grew up with my grandparents who had it extremely hard in the great depression, it left them scared in strange ways and unfortunately now that they are gone i find myself doing they same things as they did, its strange

[@dumfriesspearhead7398]

Epigenetics.

[@pinki130]

Maybe you learned their behaviours as a child? Children learn from adults around them.

[@jennycoyle8204]

This show taught me so much god bless these women. I followed it up with the documentary ‘one of us’ also on Netflix superb thank you 🙏

[@j.kaimori3848]

@Samuel Levy don't take it personally, I think it's targeted at conservative Christians more than you. Because they might care about how you are presented and have a moment of introspection. Unfortunately to the USA, everything is a proxy war.

[@jennycoyle8204]

Samuel Levy I wasn’t attacking anyone’s religious beliefs , and I’m pretty sure that not all Muslims want to blow us up. I’m raised catholic in Northern Ireland. I just found that the women in the documentary I watched seemed to be treated second class. I know that’s probably not the same for every woman I’m not silly. Sending love 💓

[@cristinaperez3196]

I watched the entire thing in one sitting, and I loved it. Definitely recommend!

[@lisawilliams9211]

I binged watched every episode of UnOrthodox. It was very good. I even had the chance to watch the interview of the author.

[@Sofia-rc4bb]

Would you mind turning on captions? People who are hard of hearing or deaf need this. Thank you!

[@jgoldberg3647]

This was a very moving series and Shira Haas' portrayal incredibly authentic. The writing, the directing, all of the details were SO carefully and respectfully orchestrated the entire production. Thank you to all of you. Shira Haas deserves the recognition she will continue to gain from ALL her many performances, including her earlier ones in Shtisel. She is genuine, and humble as well.Please remain so and ' go forth' with many more.

[@mariwall7850]

This show was amazing! Learned so much about this culture. Esty’s liberation brought literal tears to my eyes

[@Pupeyes]

This show is sooo good. The main actress is so compelling

[@valleach9862]

It was a wonderful story that reached across the religious barriers to show love, confusion and growth.

[@rnswansong]

i just saw this amazing production. It is THE best thing I have ever seen on TV . I thank you Netflix for this gift with a super talented cast. As an exCatholic, I have come to this conclusion,that religion may be a comfort to some but has harmed many. Love learning about Hasidic community because I knew nothing!

[@lootleo4022]

This was a very good series. I had a friend who was orthodox (we were late teens and her parents didn’t know she had a bi-racial let alone non-orthodox buddy) and she was slated to be wed. She didn’t want to be married. She wanted to pursue a non-orthodox life. She did and she’s thriving but most of her family she doesn’t see.

[@maikarei]

Wow! Thank you! Pls do more of these videos 💙

[@susieenglish302]

Rememberance shows compassion. Reliving shows no progress to compassion

[@damonchampion823]

As a dyslexic for whom reading is slow it is so amazing to have a video essay where I can be educated and entertained in 10 minutes in my break between patients. Thanks Netflix this is a win for you 👍🏻

[@diatplay]

I adored this film and I'm so grateful to Netflix for putting windows to other worlds out there. I shudder when I think how tiny my kids' world would be without the Arts making bridges to perspectives unimaginable to them.

[@alfidaahmed795]

I watched this show before watching this video and it is an emotional roller-coaster, really good series would highly recomend

[@NoirL.A.]

community shaming is so bizarre. the group takes on a collective ego fed into by streams from individual egos which in turn feels threatened by any form of change or dissent. and, of course, shaming or ostracization is the punishment.

[@mrcrabmoney]

More video essays! This was brilliant!

[@heyya7464]

I love this series. Transgressions trauma is something that definitely exists in almost every single person in our family except for me and my sister. My mother really wanted to protect us from the memories and experiences that haunted her childhood so she kept all that to herself and kept us away from the rest of the family, until recently I learned about our family tragedies in the past, initially I thought "hmm wow our family is interesting and I could definitely get a book deal and earn a lot of money by putting out our story", but few days later I wanted to get all that information out of my mind cause it would fail my mum’s attempt to save us from being scarred for life. She definitely did a very good job cause me and my sister are way happier,open minded ,kind ,intelligent,loving and friendly than the rest our family and that gives my mum joy which make her forget all the bad memories. what your parents passed on to you or what you experienced is no excuse to put your child through same hell you’ve been through, it’s abuse.history shouldn’t repeat. Being raised by a positive,kind,supportive,intelligent and loving parent is the best thing any child could have and what I had.move on and have a better future, being agnostic keeps the religious bullshit away.

[@paulasmith7803]

Trauma is visited upon our children. I was in a tornado years ago. I'm terrified of bad weather (an spiders, but that's another story). Because of my fear, my 22 year old daughter walks the floor with me during storms. She is as afraid of it as I am though she has never been in the trauma of a tornado. Neither has she ever been bitten by a brown recluse but my fear of it happening again (and of spiders in general) has transmuted to my sweet girl. I feel so guilty about these fears that I handed right to her.

[@samaraisnt]

Fear of spiders and snakes has been proven to be evolutionary, so it wasn't you it was your distant ancestors who passed it on to YOU. When shown pictures of these animals even babies have the fear, meaning it's not taught nor learned, it's innate. It makes sense as they can kill you, maybe you didn't have enough of a fear of spiders and that's a gift you're giving to her? If she avoids at all costs she can't also get bit. A fear of tornados is another rational fear that protects your safety. Think of it this way: would you rather she was a storm chaser who captured deadly spiders without fear? We can't reverse our genetics but show bravery to our children. :) Hope this wasn't too long x

[@MysticDivinerLJ]

This was beautiful. Never knew this show existed.

[@clarebowers1079]

Please remember that while this film is focused mainly on Estie, both men and women are not taught about sex and how the make love with one another in their marriage. So for the husband he is only doing what he has been told and as the wife in her difficult way with most empathy tries her best. This community as mentioned generational trauma they are trying to keep everything simple by not living by our needs and feeling but to be productive to cleanse away generational trauma so that we are not punished in G-d's eyes. I know for so many people and for other sect of Jews this is in some ways extreme. We may never understand them, but also being mindful. This is all they know from fear. Sad. Yet hopeful. 💜

[@han01070]

did you just “not all men” this whole show lmao

[@Strawation]

@@han01070 If you boil this show down to the basic plot structure, it's a "not all men" statement. Makes perfect sense to have a "not all men" comment to a "not all men" show, right?

[@disneydelis7829]

@@han01070 she is right. In the book that the show is based on she writes how both her and her husband took a marriage class to learn about sex and how it must be done. She even describes it in the book that they both got into the possession that they were told by their teachers and she was very confused if they have even done it or not. She was later shamed by his family, her family, and the town because her husband couldn't get it up. She even writes that she doesn't understand why her husband has a hard time and why he even wants to do it in the first place. She even tells her teacher she knows for a fact she doesn't have something down there and questions how could she go most of her life not knowing her own body. Even the author of the book later still wanted to have her son in a jewish school because she still believes in the faith just not with everything.

[@immir6647]

I found Yanki sweet but sad he's obviously extremely in love but has no idea how to behave with her and is heavily influenced by his mother. I never thought he was a total bastard just clueless

[@Maddie9185]

This was a great series and the main character did a phenomenal job.

[@juliej5917]

I heard an interview of Deborah Feldman on the podcast and NPR show FRESH AIR this past week. She’s the author of Unorthodox and who’s life Esse is based. Fascinating interview!!

[@sdarling6518]

I want the same acknowledgment of intergenerational trauma to be applied to any modern day cultural or ethnic community that has a history of trauma. Berlin may have been the epicenter of trauma for many but not for most.

[@jittmet7766]

So make a video, no one is stopping you.

[@j.kaimori3848]

See if you can get people to watch this and then talk your way around to them seeing how their views from this series should be similar to your views. Some people complain that this is about Jews, but this is the smartest thing I've seen from America in a long time.

[@sarahpena9501]

Love it, thanks for uploading it, very educational and interesting.

[@ruthrivas3235]

Oh, this made me cry. I will be watching.

[@sidthekid456]

For a Netflix official video they should have better mix quality this sounds like someone took audio from an iPhone of a zoom videochat

[@serenabooth7884]

Considering that this video was made during the height of Covid, it probably was.

[@natalie7036]

I really thought her name was Etsy this whole time 🙃

[@denisejohnson4037]

Even though I know her name is Deborah Feldman, I don't know why I still thought of her as Etsy.

[@jittmet7766]

LOL, easy mistake! Esty though. :)

[@talmoskowitz5221]

Esty, short for Esther.

[@ladylaois8184]

I watched this drama and seriously learned so much from it. So interesting and educational. Brought me so many different emotions. I don’t watch a lot of Netflix but this I highly recommend

[@LilMama91]

I am so so happy that you share your life with the world, there are some people (like my current ignorant bf) who would see this and immediately thing that you are tweaking on drugs. Clearly that is his own ignorance. And his own problem but it is super frustrating to me- to be around such a negative and JUDGMENTAL person all the time!! So thank you so so much for proving to the world that these behaviors/mannerisms are NOT just someone on drugs. But someone with mental illness. I love your videos and i appreciate you beautiful human ❤

[@cledwynstafford4819]

..it truly is hard to understand how people can continue to live like this.

[@rnarzu]

I say Amen to thr " deserves a raise" comment. Absolutely freeing

[@bhagavatidasi2373]

This inherited trauma is so common also in Europe, where there are so many family members of victims or of perpetrators from WW II. I've been part of a lot of ' family constellations' which deal with these wounds. It helped me see how influenced the children and grandchildren are by the trauma of their parents. But it's not only the family members of victims. The children and grandchildren of the perpetrators, who themselves are just as innocent, suffer just as much.

[@jerishuntington7202]

This was wonderful ... very well done!

[@DeidresStuff]

Ultra hard-core religions are inherently traumatizing.

[@sonofhibbs4425]

Imposed anything can be traumatizing on anyone. I don’t think we have to name a group, religious or non. The fact of the matter is, as humans all of us have beliefs, including atheists. Each individual has a favored way of life plus we each have mental constructs on how others should live/behave, what they should do. This creates the imposing, and its always been there and probably always will. The whole nazi uprising was a rebuff to impositions, and as itself became a big imposition on all others. That was their answer to impositions they didn’t agree with.... Do you see how it works? Religion isn’t the culprit but it’s definitely a part of this human characteristic. It’s sad.

[@lightscameras4166]

You’re committing a common fallacy, one that is an atheist favorite. Not surprisingly you are wrong. Remove religious faith and pit anything in its place, the same trauma would happen. You are pivoting your point on one thing: religion. You think other factors don’t matter. It had to do with politics and history more than it had to do with Judaism.

[@freyjamulhall3615]

I would say that secular capitalism and our modern society is more traumatising

[@lightscameras4166]

@@freyjamulhall3615 true

[@trashgoblin1182]

@@lightscameras4166 They never said it was *just* over zealous religions that are inherently traumatic, just pointing out such forced and stifling practices will traumatize you. Hard core religion is just a cult

i left my heart to this

[@karenmbbaxter]

The basis of this movie reminds me of Shine movie where an Australian-jewish man was a natural pianist but his father's trauma of the concentration camps meant the father was very brutal to his son. He would not allow his son to become a great pianist and travel overseas to study because everything was about keeping the family together. He would beat his son to keep him in-line and eventually the poor son lost his mind.........He still plays piano today.

[@lanny1076]

I never would have watched this without seeing this ..now I want nothing more then to watch it

[@SareFarkas]

Please keep in mind that this film is about a very specific ultra orthodox (charadi) community. Many ultra orthodox communities do not operate the same way and same as the modern orthodox sect. This story is one of a women who did not feel a sense of safety and belonging to a very strict community, Satmar in Williamsburg. However, the majority of women do not experience the same difficulties or traumas.

[@fabbrunette]

@@laavanya9584 Isn't there a difference between orthodox & hasidic? I work with orthodox all of the time & they aren't like the hasids. I know there are different sects of hasids but the sects I'm familiar with are awful. (Belz & Satmar)

[@SareFarkas]

fabbrunette Yes you’re right. Hasidism is a sub-sect group within ultra Orthodox Judaism.

[@melis6294]

If someone forces me to shave my hair because is sinful, that's enough trauma for me. What kind of God cares so much about the hair of a woman. If it's so bad and sinful why would God will give it or create it? Just a bunch of crappy beliefs. this is a SECT passing as a harmless "religion".

[@mordechaigeller2952]

Thats the part that bothers me about this show, they fail to point out that this is only one community out of hundreds other hasidic communities where women are treated with respect and dignity

[@Historian212]

Sarah F. Yes, and it’s a fictionalization of her story, at that. IRL it took years for her to move to Germany. Her transition was much more gradual. The series was “inspired by” the book. It’s not a documentary, but people are treating it like it is.

[@GoodGolly.MissLolly]

I felt this movie would be too difficult for me to watch. I hope it ended well for her

[@Ritercrazy]

Please don't watch it. There are few reasons to watch dramatized sexual violence.

[@GoodGolly.MissLolly]

@@Ritercrazy true. I have PTSD and have learnt to be very careful about what I watch

[@Ritercrazy]

@@GoodGolly.MissLolly I have it too. I'm sorry.

[@iagreewithyoubub]

I thought it was an amazing movie. Esty discovers truths about the outside world that cause her to grow as a person. When her head is being shaved in that clip, she was crying tears of joy because she didn't know any different. Truly, she's her own hero. I found it inspiring.

[@Veronensis]

(spoiler alert for people who still like to watch it) I understand it can be traumatizing to watch something like this so just in case you like to know, it ends well for her! She ends up reconnecting with her mother, and going to the conservatory in Berlin to study music.

[@RubixCube747]

I live in the largest orthodox Jewish community in Europe and this opened my eyes. I understood a lot but seeing it from their pov helps. I just wish it wasn't this way.

[@mightymissk]

Unorthodox is a great movie. Its one of those films you watch more than once.

[@drakawinkle584]

I wasn't sure about this show. I thought it sounded a bit boring. Now, I have to see it since you made it sound great.

[@kimlovestravel]

It’s really overwhelming! I’m hoping for second season !

[@suzhenjiang1720]

Oh it's anything but boring. Extremely dramatic in fact.

[@lizh4817]

I’m not Jewish but this has taught me something about my own trauma...thank you.

[@liafiol-matta2736]

An amazing series, beautiful!

[@TheDemonCurupira]

Wow, Netflix. You got me! Freaking A. On another note, In my final semester I wrote an 8-10 page paper on the Shoah and Inter-generational Trauma so the subject has interested me ever since. I've studied it in the black diaspora and Jewish communities.

[@mariaeastcoast3271]

Can anyone supply info on the song she sang and the meaning?

[@LBright4444]

This was such a good movie!!

[@lauraburdett8932]

Wonderful essay and the film is beautiful. Highly recommend!

[@Dom13dom]

Excellent!!! A must watch!!!!!

[@jaketastisch9782]

the bauhaus was not founded in Berlin, but in Weimar. In Berlin it died.

[@Lagolop]

And it is all over Tel Aviv. The architect was a Jew ...

[@phosphenevision]

@@Lagolop the architect? Bauhaus was a school, they formed a lot of architects. Israel sent a lot of students to study in bauhaus which is why their architecture is so influenced by bauhaus style. Many other countries were influenced by bauhaus style as bauhaus students fled Germany.

[@Lagolop]

@@phosphenevision Bauhaus himself moved to Israel. He was Jewish.

[@sorornoctis]

@@Lagolop Bauhaus is not an architect's name but literally the name of the art school? Its founder was Walter Gropius, not jewish at all to my knowledge. He moved from nazi germany to the US.

[@Lagolop]

@@sorornoctis I stand corrected. "Tel Aviv is home to one of the best-preserved collections of Bauhaus and International Style architecture in the world. Micha Gross from the Israeli city's Bauhaus Center has selected 10 of the most important examples

[@jeniwren56]

This series was beautiful! I learned so much about the orthodox faith that I never knew and certainly did not understand.

[@jittmet7766]

Apparently there is another series about Orthodox Jews called Shtisel. Character drama series, I've read good things about it. :)

[@jeniwren56]

I’ve been watching that too and really like it!

[@trudatbellyfat7358]

@Samuel Levy literally just below the OP comments someone commented, "This is a cult and has no place in the modern world." It's so frustrating beyond words when people base their entire mental construct of an entire group of people off of a TV show.

[@jacobniebloom]

Neither show is an accurate representation Of the orthodox or chassidic community.

[@fabulousprincess603]

@@jacobniebloom This is the perception of her life within the community. You don't get to say her experiences are wrong.

[@SusanWashington11]

Wow! A wonderful analysis!

[@prettyhollypolly7553]

Very very good review! I’m impressed

[@UriyahMommy]

I learned a lot about the Orthodox Jewish community through this movie. The show Arranged marriage confirms the practices with a Jewish couple on the show.

[@sarahgrape2651]

This program greatly distorts a great part of what Judeism is.

[@dauntlessgirl1412]

Judaism is like a rose. It has the beauty of the flower yet it can be painful for some due to the thorns. As someone who grew up nice and Jewish I feel just like Esty and I'm on my way to throw it off of me. I live in a so called liberal religious society yet it's all the same. You are expected to get married fast, give birth to lots of children and stay silent and small and unnoticed Everyone around me think I am not religious because I'm lazy, because it's so easy to live my life freely but the truth is quite the opposite. It's a hard and lonely road.

[@fabulousprincess603]

@@sarahgrape2651 Everyone will have a different perception of the life they are living. Just because people are raised within a community especially a religious one, doesn't mean everyone experiences it emotionally, physically or even psychically the same. Others might have had amazing experiences. This is the story and the experiences of the author.

[@sarahgrape2651]

@@fabulousprincess603 the problem for me, is that you have people here commenting, "Wow, I'm learning so much about Judeism through this series." And other comments like that. I'm Jewish, I understand that on a personal level, there are people with going through there own struggles and situations. I have family members who have stopped practicing Judeism from their own experiences and issues which they're dealing with. Now, let me tell you something of the book "Unorthodox" which the series is loosely based on. That book wasn't published in its original form. The publishers didn't find it juicy enough, they didn't think it was "exposimg" the "cult" for what it was. It was a book about a woman, who like other Jews that stopped practicing Judeism because of her personal issues. I don't know you, I don't know if you're Jewish, I doubt it because then you would be wishing Esty, and girls like her well, and at the same time not view Judeism as a psychologically abusive cult.

[@daniella2625]

Not all marriages in Judieism are like that. Only the extremes.

[@CofyjunkyPNW]

I can't think of a time in my life that I didn't identify as a pluralist; I grew up in a CA. city that could define itself as 'America's Melting Pot'. The only society that I could never be open-minded about were racists. And even then, I'd hope they could change their mindset of hate for what was different to them. I'm glad television shows like this help me to understand what seems like a mystery. A good story opens my mind wide. 😊

[@darilynmonstone7510]

This was very informative, thanks Netflix!

[@TaylorishKid88]

Excellent break down!

[@howaboutno3831]

The lake scene reminds me of mikvah for a new life

[@lizziebkennedy7505]

Beautifully put.

[@sammierose1150]

“She was taught that sex with her husband will give her husband what he wants: pleasure, and what she [is told she “should want”]: a baby” Wow 😳 guess they don’t think women like me exist - (women who have absolutely no interest in human babies and children) 🙅🏽‍♀️ I don’t want to birth one, don’t want to lose sleep every night raising one, nor do I want to pay (the U.S. average from 0-18) a quarter of a million dollars (approx. $245,000) for one, or more than one. 💁🏽‍♀️

[@Psychicmediumrebeccak]

Same

[@muymuy777]

Bravo!! Glad you spoke out what I have been holding back for all my life. Even the thought of a child scares the hell out of me and I can't even say it out loud to anyone around. Edit: Oh the times when I had to babysit my 1 year old nephew!!😣😥 That was the moment.. a true awakening.. I truly understood how futile it was of me to be obsessed over having a husband and starting a family!

[@apranabanana8738]

Same!!

[@essenceedwards-burd8721]

U mean to tell me these Rugrats are gonna cost me $750,000 altogether 😂😂😂. Sleepless nights, loss of teeth from breastfeeding and OMG puberty. There isn't enough money in the world to pay for the frustration or confusion in the process of parenting. I'd do it all AGAIN because they're worth it. They are the sun, the moon, and stars of our galaxy. This is coming from a mother w/ a son that just failed chemistry btw😂. Nothing compares in this whole WORLD to our three 'lil BURDS❤️.

[@sammierose1150]

@@muymuy777 I know how you feel, but don’t feel discouraged 🤗. There’s nothing wrong with you and there a many more of us who think similarly to you. I think if more people took babysitting classes, actually hung out in a kindergarten class and was in charge of raising a child for *even just a day* to see what it’s like, I think more people might reconsider being parents. (That’s simply more benefit to the potential child they might bring into this world that they aren’t prepared to be responsible for) 💁🏽‍♀️

[@lucymencimer8506]

This show was excellently produced kudos to them

[@tanyajuli4145]

thanks for this review and explainer. I couldn't make it thru the first few chapters of the book nor beyond an hour of the movie for my discomfort and rage that didn't allow me to see the story outside my own lens. thanks.