What was Something You Heard that was SO STUPID, that you Thought it was a JOKE? - Reddit Podcast

🧠 NEXT STORY:
→ • Am I the Genius? 🧠
🌌 easymode music on Spotify, Apple Music, etc.
→ youtube.com/@easymode.?sub_co...
→ easymode.com
😈 Am I the Jerk?
→ kzbin.info?sub_co...
🟢 Am I the Genius? Spotify Podcast
→ open.spotify.com/show/0kb6l0l...
🐦Twitter
→ / amithejerk
📷Instagram
→ / amithejerk
👉 SUBMIT YOUR STORIES HERE - amithejerk.com/submit
podcast reddit, reddit storytime reddit top posts r/confession r/entitledparents r/tifu r/prorevenge r/maliciouscompliance r/choosingbeggers r/entitledpeople r/IDOWorkHereLady r/Idontworkherelady r/personalfinance r/AmITheA**hole r/AITA

[@Fawkesbelladonna]

One of my coworkers confidently thought there was a full moon every week, she is 27.

[@fuseegelee]

Punctuation is important! Remember the comma in between week and she. Sorry for being grammar police

[@Fawkesbelladonna]

@@fuseegelee 👍

[@LeleiTheTigress]

Has she… never looked at the sky

[@bigawesomewatermelon9511]

​@@fuseegeleeIf you're going to be elitist, the "correct" punctuation would be a semicolon; it's a semicolon that connects two clauses that would otherwise be complete sentences without requiring additional words, not a comma.

[@fuseegelee]

@@bigawesomewatermelon9511 i said i was sorry for being grammar police

[@geistgrace6452]

My Grandmother used to work with her father on a farm and would regularly sell produce on the side of the road. One day, a lady walked up and bought some Potatoes and Carrots that had been recently picked, so they told he to make sure to wash them before eating them. A few days later, she came back complaining they were bad and she got sick from them. They asked if she had washed them and she replied "Yes, I even used extra soap to be safe!" That's right. She washed them with bath soap. There's a ton of stories like that from the farm, but that's one of the ones that always stick with me.

[@breeinatree4811]

We were watching Neil Armstrong and Buzz Aldrin walking on the moon. My stepfather asked where this was happening. We told him, on the moon (it happened to be a full moon that night). He pointed to the moon and said it was impossible because the moon was only the size of a nickel.

[@JustsomerandomnNebraskan11]

I'm a bit autistic, was in the eighth grade last year and am learning German. Mein Gott im Himmel!

[@austinschwartz7424]

In story #41 there's actually a reasonable excuse when an object like a motorcycle or in this case a river goes fast it tends to go in a straight line, however, a slow object is more likely to wobble. In a river, this means the stream is more likely to spread out and form smaller side currents that can go any which way.

[@eh1702]

Back in pre-internet days, a coworker -actually line manager - of mine, her mid-20s, asked teenage me if you’re supposed to brush the backs of your teeth when you brush. Well, yeah. (Looking at her rather good set of choppers, kinda puzzled.) Because her sister, a dental student said you should, but she wondered if she was just winding her up. Me blessing my luck that someone who does not understand the most basic principles of hygiene likes a morning shower because it helps her wake up. Wondering whether to mention tongue scraping or flossing, deciding to change subject instead.

[@H3xx99]

"I better google this, because you're laughing really hard" You know what? Respect for checking your sources. There's no problem with being wrong and changing your stance when you're proven wrong. It's only a problem when you insist you're correct in the face of evidence to the contrary.

[@groundzero7470]

One of my friends thought that east Germany was Monochrome because of the TV broadcasts he used to watch as a kid. I will never let him live that down, lol.

[@Lightfyre281]

Someone in one of my college biology classes asked "Are hyenas real, or just some made up creatures from The Lion King?" The entire class burst out laughing. This was a pretty advanced biology class, btw.

[@antares8476]

"The Sun is the hottest star in the Universe and that's why it is a sun and orange" by my own father to my astronomist bf. Hard to make this crazy up. Also some times I chime in if I sense someone is asking a question that is not necessary a common knowlage but to some people yes. And if they become rude I just ask back something that they surely don't know but are common thing in my field.

[@MandieKearns-Moore]

What is an astronomist??? Astronomer or astrophysicist

[@evilneverprevail]

While listening to this, the line from Pharrell Williams "it might seem crazy what I'm about to say" just popped into my head 😂

[@onionbubs386]

I know German but not Japanese, the only similar vocabulary word I can think of that isn't an English loan word is Deutschland and Doitsu, both words for Germany. Did that person fall asleep during the WWII lecture in history and get her facts confused?

[@aprusek]

Moved offices, took my old name badge (which was gold in color) to the new office. Site manager told me to get a badge green badge so I would not look "special". Both badges cost $10, it is not like I had a solid gold badge.

[@LeleiTheTigress]

Knew a girl in high school, she was quite adamant that islands would float around the ocean, and that the British chained them to the sea floor to have them stop moving.

[@artperson7617]

I used to believe this, but in my defense I was 9 or maybe 10, how did a high schooler believe that?

[@LeleiTheTigress]

@@artperson7617 To be fair, this is the same girl who thought that slavery couldn't have been “that bad” and African Americans were “ungrateful” that we saved them from poverty. She was actually pretty popular at school, but only among guys for… reasons

[@lssjvegeta7103]

HOLD IT! SPINEBUSTER'S MY CAR! NOBODY DRIVES MY CAR BUT ME!

[@DetectiveDorian]

I was told by a coworker that every animal that moves has a brain. Everything, including insects which factually do not have brains. I tried my best to explain it to him but he just confidently wagged his finger at me like I was a child, so I stopped before I got mad at him.

[@dtester]

Sorry, but are you sure about that insect brain fact?

[@gordonfreeman7187]

@@dtester Yeah I am pretty sure they have brains just very limited and not a traditional brain compared to mammals.

[@Flagellawiggler]

True that not every moving animal has a brain, but insects definitely have very tiny brains that at least allow for their functions. Some have higher abilities than that (bees and ants), although their brains do not compare to the size and complexity of larger animals.

[@maxxcrafting7519]

Really? Insects don't have brains? They must have a equivalent right?

[@scibear9944]

Biologist here: I'm sorry to tell you this, but not only does every insect have a real brain, every ARTHROPOD has a brain. Most worms have brains, and of course, vertebrates have brains. Now, if you're talking sponges, jellyfish, corals, oysters, clams, starfish, etc....brainless. So both you and your coworker were mistaken, unfortunately. However, you were "more correct" since you're right that not every animal has a brain, you just gave some bad examples with "brainless" insects😊

[@DogLover1463]

This whole video is making me think, “If there's 10 billion people on earth, and Elon Musk has $200 billion, can't he just give each person one billion? And here's the twist. He will still have $190 billion dollars left over! Isn’t that so crazy?”

[@HoangNguyen-rd6qy]

The math totally works out just like that 😁

[@stevedavis5704]

It will just start a fight but for someone who always uses were you there as proof that what you say is incorrect, the first time they trotted out the bible can’t be wrong or untrue I would be forced to ask “How do you know, were you there?”

[@rahovartiv3464]

My wife thought pineapples grew on trees.

[@itt2055]

Every single person has an average of 3 cancerous growths at all times. Cancer is just a part of being human it is only when the cancer continues to grow or develops in certain places in the body that it causes any problems.

[@boardmike82]

I was explaining how i got hit by a van to a group of girls at my work. One asked did you survive? It was not a joke, she was a bit thick.

[@Eranderil]

Buckle up, this is a doozy, but worth it. Worked for my small origin town's parks are rec department for a bit. I got put solo on night shift (pretty certain it was an isolation thing so that they could more safely steal wages, but that's besides the point) and was being enormously pressured to get more work done. I was asking how in the heck they wanted me to get more done when literally over half my shift was spent on cleaning bathrooms alone? The very confused, recently promoted, boss asks how the heck it's taking half my shift to clean about 15 bathrooms spread across town. I pointed out that just driving to all the different locations alone ate two hours of my day (yes, I went and timed it), much less doing the actual cleaning, and emptying garbage cans around the parks, IF you're fully assuming that the bathrooms needed minimal attention. His response was to demand that I show him how I was cleaning the bathrooms. So we go in, I clean the bathroom exactly as I was trained on day 2 or 3 of the job, with the small amount of extra work to sanitize the hardware on the doors and toilets people would frequently touch. Since both were in relatively fair shape, I finished cleaning both bathrooms in just under 5 minutes. (mens and womens) Mind you, these were pretty rough and dirty cleanings; swept floors, wiped down important surfaces like seats and hardware, cleaned dead bugs out of the windows, cleaned toilets (inside bowl) emptied garbage- really really bare bones fast cleans. I didn't swab, didn't wipe out the garbage cans, didn't change soaps, didn't even need to change out the TP that time. Didn't wipe down the general or stall walls, didn't wipe down the outsides of the toilets, ect. Lots of background but we're getting there, his response: "Well that was great for a DEEP CLEAN, but that's pretty excessive to do for every bathroom, every day." I was flabbergasted. For one, because I was cleaning exactly as a more senior person trained me to clean (even more senior than this ninny), but also our primary customers were firstly notoriously germy children and secondly notoriously vulnerable grandparents bringing their germy children to these parks. So I asked the next logical question: "So... why do you clean the bathrooms then? So that they LOOK good, or to help protect and prevent folks from the spread of disease?" And here it is, the line that left me gobsmacked: "Well, it's not like disease is that big of a deal in today's society right?" COVID19 hit within the next 6 months.

[@hanoh2904]

The christian girl saying were you there should have been asked about the bible and get asked If she was there

[@denisekyles4299]

exactly

[@user-vt4si1ef6r]

Oh, just see her backpedal on that would have been absolutely priceless. Also knows a double standard that she’s actually proposing, believes her Bible on faith, does not believe historical fact, on faith.

[@nickronca1562]

​@@user-vt4si1ef6rIt's even worse than that, she believes the Bible on faith, but doesn't believe historical fact with actual real tangible proof.

[@draculastraphouse7863]

My cousin claimed that the Trinity River located in Dallas actually goes around the entire world lmaoooo another one is when I heard a kid said that jelly came from jellyfish and he was dead serious 😂

[@ayoisha4609]

As a Spongebob fan, I think I get where the kid was coming from

[@nnoneymoney7642]

Here’s something I hope helps you all realize it’s time to stop print on a certain book.If not, dufus comes to mind.Here it is “Eden need”.(c) Dino Sherman

[@shadowstrider42]

Story 32 is easy to turn around if she's a Christian, as i can only assume she wasn't there when the bible was written... Story 37 "your work isn't done" Shame, because you seem to be done paying me for the day, cya tomorrow!

[@KivatheDCWizard]

If someone came to me with that spork story I would ask if they just happaned to have forgotten to take any kind of meds this morning?

[@ShaneLawrence-x5r]

"Why don't we add a bell to the tv remote so we don't keep losing it"

[@NecromanticWater]

i worked at taco bell when i was 16 and one day i was working the drive through this guy asked me "how many taco come in a taco 12pk" i was genuinely baffled i had to pause and ask my coworkers if we heard him right, than i just politely said 12

[@this_isntmyname]

People who get their medical advice from politicians and media personalities

[@Rin-ig3ci]

Some people might find this interesting. There are still things that people die from that doctors have yet to understand anywhere near as well as they understand cancer, so that means there are things far more scary than cancer simply because we know less about them, but here's the punch line... people die of these unknown things, not because they are deadlier, but because people don't care enough to study them because they are not "cancer", even if they act a heck of a lot like cancer. True story: have you ever gone to a doctor because something was seriously wrong, only to have to doctor say "i don't know", then to go to a support group and hope some random person has some answers for you only to find out everyone else is doing the exact same thing, also slowly watching your life fall apart because you can't function anymore only to be denied disability because it's not reconized like "cancer" or a missing limb is, and only the lucky few who have the money to spare are flying cross country and out of country to find doctors who are actually bothering to help these people get their lives back. Have you ever been told by a doctor that pregnancy is a cure for illness, and then they tell you to ask a random man to "help" you with that? To have a doctor tell you that you're "too young and healthy looking" to possibly be sick. To walk out the door in the morning and be complemented on your slim figure and then come home at the end of the same day and be congratulated for your pregnancy, only you aren't pregnant. To be told, by a doctor, that it's "normal" to be vomiting every day and be in excruciating pain every day..... Stupidity doesn't escape a person just because they've got a doctorate in it. Stupidity just reveals the gaps in our society and how often we let it just pass on through the cracks. People have the potential to be intelligent, but not everyone encourages the right kind of intelligence. People have to potential to cure severe illnesses, but not everyone agrees to play fair.

[@breannahidalgo6328]

Had a science teacher tell me black people are better at sports because they have extra tendons in their bodies naturally and it makes the!m more athletic

[@lisasteel6817]

An Australian not knowing how stupid it would be to plonk a foreign species (polar bear) into a new environment (Canadian forest), baffles me as a fellow Australian. Stares in cane toad.

[@notsofrenchy]

There was someone in my neighborhood who was scared about the sound of explosions in the distance. It was the Fourth of July.

[@VergilTheLegendaryDarkSlayer]

I was in grade 7 (11-12) and a kid thought santa was real I stopped believing in santa when in was 4-5 because santa never made sense and it took 3 years of asking my parents every year for them to admit it I ended up breaking the news to him because i thought he was making a joke

[@alexramirez9869]

Picture this: Miami 2024, i had to in multiple ways, prove my 63yo friend that England was in Europe & not its own continent

[@crystalweible152]

Narrator! Please pause between stories. It sounds like one ongoing running statement.

[@victor-oh]

I remembered the "Gap in Knowledge" episode from "How I Met Your Mother" where Robin thought the North Pole wasn't real.

[@padraigdowney7407]

I can’t even talk I used to think that 3AM videos were real.

[@Abb-overseer]

#11: OHHHHHH SPUNGE ME BOI WASH YOUR GLOVE

[@OllieThomas-yy3vb]

sometimes to me its funny how the voice changes everytime

[@harveyblough7204]

The woman who didn't know hamburger came from beef who thought it was pork😂😂😂😂😂

[@mrduckman8381]

I thought Liechtenstein was the german name of Luxenbourg

[@newbiegamelover4767]

Story #32 As a Sister in Christ, I'd like to ask that girl if she was there for any of the events in the Bible, such as Noah's flood, David's attack on Goliath, and Jesus' crucifixion/resurrection. Lord knows *somebody* is going to throw that at her, and it's probably not going to be a fellow brethren.

[@joshberg5813]

I got a story My dad is always been into conspiracy theories and I tried to ignore them but when he started getting into the flat earth or stuff I just burst out laughing at him when he was trying to explain why the Earth is flat like are you even hearing yourself my dude that is so f****** stupid and he got very angry but come on I thought he was joking.

[@panicpixel923]

these stories are part of the reason why i keep to myself, its insane how stupid people can be

[@Atronious_The_Gd_Player]

12:00 silly billy huh? Reminds me of something

[@joshuaslade6364]

Them: Dose the cheder brocli soup have chese? Me: yes Them: what type of chese? Me: cheder Them: hmm, that doesn't sound right. You shure

[@user-yy2uj4sm2o]

That Star Wars prequels are bad.

[@chiengdc]

Actually pregnancy lasting 9 months is a little not accurate. Pregnancy lasts 40 weeks. The problem is that the number of days in a month is not fixed while a week is fixed at 7 days. Doctors find that talking in terms of weeks is more accurate than in terms of months.

[@gangJJL]

☝️🤓

[@speedy5768]

5:40 I just imagined their foot staying midair as they shook their head for some reason.

[@xandan1668]

We're not so different you and I.

[@boisedude6848]

My ex-wife asked me (seriously) how to spell "The". Made the right decision to divorce her.

[@brianvance1178]

The girl who keeps saying “were you there?” as a way to defend her religious bullshit, I’d just tell her “yes, I fucking was there, I’m a 6,000 year old immortal and I’ve never seen anything at all that looks like something mentioned in the Bible”. If she believes me, that’s when you give up on humanity

[@radfordra]

Hearing these makes my soul die

[@Gr3nadgr3gory]

The truck driver knows what the roads looked like before they were torn up and the three years later when the road is finally fixed. He knows for a fact they didn't change. The government wastes so much money on lazy ass contractors who just waste time to pad out their paycheck.

[@mustwereallydothis]

Just for giggles, I would insist that specific Bible stories were made up. I'd pick a new one for every new conversation. How could she know they were true? Was she there?

[@Joel-nu1ed]

14:09 Face palmed the Mario theme

[@Lucas-kt3py]

The girl in story 3 deleted images of caseoh

[@MandieKearns-Moore]

It's so cute that you have absolutely no concept of how evolution works and how much time it truly takes and that a polar bear is so far away from a grizzly or a black bear that, no they cannot just get dropped in a forest and survive do you even have a concept of the differences of their diets, breading, which one hibernates and why????

[@racinracerxp8645]

Ok for the last one if you know nothing (like not a single thing) about how power works it makes a bit of sense that things shoul all be electrical. But knowing anything about power makes this sound incredibly dumb.

[@lizekamtombe2223]

What weird person does not have cheese in their broccoli soup?

[@rebeccahwatson3079]

If anyone is wondering why the last one is stupid because I can actually see even someone smart being confused. There's something called light pollution. It's why it's harder to see stars in a city. So yes. That lamp did technically produce a type of pollution. There, of course, is also the fact the plant generating the electricity has a chance to be making pollution to generate that power. Solar and wind are everywhere but that doesn't mean that a factory that produces smog didn't contribute to that lamp.

[@xX_Gravity_Xx]

4:20 If they were Americans asking that, I've heard several racist slurs about Filipinos relating to tree people. This was over the CB in my truck, I have no idea why or where it comes from. I've also heard them referred to as "stick eaters", but again, I have no idea where or why, only that the slurs exist.

[@matthewmcdaid7962]

My favorite is the idiot politician who says he will run the government like a business. A business sells products or services in order to make a profit for the owner. Since the US government IS the people, you can't sell government products or services to the people since they already own them. And you need some way to distribute the profits to the people. And they never tell you what they intend to sell or to whom. The worst part is that these are usually men who have been successful businessmen.

[@deltaflamestorm7400]

15:26 it could also be because, pig flesh apparently tastes similar to human flesh. Well, at least according to a former cannibal on that one episode of River Monsters

[@faithlesshound5621]

That's why they call human meat "long pig."

[@lolbittheglitchqueen6871]

14:21 My response would be Where you there when Jesus was born? No. The how do you know he existed? That would be a great way to shut down that argument.

[@breeinatree4811]

I've used this one. A very flustered girl told me it's what's said in the Bible. I again asked if she was there. She started telling me I was going to hell.

[@LeleiTheTigress]

​​@@breeinatree4811 Should've said about if she saw/was in hell. No? Then how do you know it exists

[@breeinatree4811]

@LeleiTheTigress good one. I'll try that next time.

[@Isamu1416]

I don't know which is actually the oldest book or set of rules but it is definitely not the Bible. At least it is proven that the ancient Egyptians already had written rules for behavior on the construction site 2700 years before Christ.

[@TheToastBunnyProductions]

Everything my father says

[@Adamgamer42069]

15:07 YOOOO I ALSO LIVE IN THE NETHERLANDS

[@jamesfowley4114]

1 in 3 isn't that far from 50-50.

[@Arkryal]

This one comes curtsey of my Uncle. Somehow the conversation turned to birth control, and the morning-after pill. He chimes in "Yeah, they're working on one of those for men now". We assumed he was talking about birth control in general, as that has been an area of research. Nope, he believed there would be a morning-after pill for men. He was adamant.

[@Mr.Breast478]

why there is a racing game in the bg? what's the point of it

[@user-vt4si1ef6r]

OK, most of these are really dumb, OK the cheddar one, I know the cheddar is a variety of cheese, but not everybody does. If you don’t believe in the atomic theory, how the heck are you taking chemistry same for revolution and biology. The one about the death, listening to music in braille, oh you poor, poor, unfortunate soul. I am both blind and hard of hearing, so I can’t answer this for you, we do and yet again we don’t. Some have some hearing and some don’t, kind of like the blind spectrum, some of us have some usable vision, and some of us frankly do not or what usable vision we have, like myself, is it not much to be riding home about. I imagine some people listen to music through those bone conductor headphones, something my brother got me a few years ago, but I ended up never using. A valid question it came out wrong. There is such thing as braille sheet music, although is particularly difficult to read, whether you are fluent or not

[@TheAthens619]

The Earth is flat, and whatever Marjorie Taylor Greene says

[@user-tq9pv1zw6x]

No, no, it's triangular!

[@debbieknight8901]

Something SO STUPID that I thought they were joking? Pretty much anything out of the mouth of a Trump supporter

[@Isamu1416]

Basically, the polar bear guy is not an idiot. Polar bears migrate and reach the mainland on their migrations. That is why Alaska and Canada have a population of polar bears who, due to the melting ice, have decided to just stay in the forest. Polar bears have already bred with the bears there because they are bigger and stronger. Which leads to a new mixed breed of bears.

[@olg7483]

👑 Christ is King 👑

[@user-tq9pv1zw6x]

No, he isn't. He was just a dead commoner.

[@MisfitMods]

Story 3 she’s right sorry, dinos aren’t real

[@OllieThomas-yy3vb]

i cant tell if this was a joke or not

[@MisfitMods]

@@OllieThomas-yy3vb dinosaurs aren’t real and have never existed. It’s a cover up story to hide the truth of other reptilian creatures of the old earth. The most arguably theory is dragons. It doesn’t make sense why people like you assume it has to be a joke just because it goes against such a inconsistent narrative that you were made to believe from a young age. Ancient “mythology” is more than just shits and giggles but people wanna water it down and give us dinosaurs instead. Doesn’t make sense to me

[@MisfitMods]

@@OllieThomas-yy3vb I’m just unpopular and different like that

[@onionbubs386]

@@MisfitMods "doesn't make sense to me" sounds like a you problem

[@MisfitMods]

@@onionbubs386 I guess you can somehow find an argument against how dinosaurs couldn’t possible mate with the way their made up anatomy is. How about the fact that most dinosaur bone reconstruction has high creative liberties taken because it’s all made up to begin with. Then they make up their own dinosaur bones even though the reconstruction is still heavily implied to not be correct and also they’re saying maybe they had feathers now? Get outta here with your stupid dinosaur bs, saying it’s a ME problem?? Lmao. Do some research you clown.