What You Don't Know About Screen Time & Toddler Development || Motherhood In Progress

[@morganTW4ever]

I love the statement of letting them be bored so they can think of things to do on their own.

[@dizzlecookie]

Totally agree that parent screen time and distracted parenting is the issue!! It's something I struggle with every day. A lot of times I end up waiting till baby falls asleep for the night and stay up late watching shows/KZbin lol.

[@elliegault]

We planned no screen time until 2 years, made it to 6 months. 😬 And now I'm wayyy more committed to less screen time for myself and my child. This was EXTREMELY helpful. Thank you ❤️

[@sarahkrauss3329]

There are a few comments calling you condescending or assuming you are an expert, and I completely disagree. You are great! Thank you for sharing your research and your opinions on some of your findings! Your KZbin channel is whatever you want it to be - your followers who support you will be here with any and all content 🥰

[@AshleyEmbers]

Thank you so much! Just the encouragement I needed 😊🧡

[@thedeidremovies]

I see a huge difference between myself (22 years) and my youngest brother (8 years) in terms of how much screens have effected our behaviors. It can feel easy to say “I played in the dirt and loved it!” but it’s harder to admit how much time I spent playing computer games once I had the change. I think giving kids options and letting them discover what they like themselves, like you mentioned. P.S. I was impressed with the editing of this video. Nice work, Ashley!

[@KaileyRombola]

Previous generations also had a lot more help parenting. We're doing this alone now for the most part. We can't do everything. Really great video. Thanks for sharing.

[@AshleyEmbers]

So true!

[@laurenleopold3138]

Thank you so much for talking about this. I find that so many youtubers are scared to talk about this because it’s so controversial right now. As a nurse, screen time in children was my honors thesis topic and I’m obsessed with telling the truth about screens instead of just what makes people feel good. Thank you so so much for sharing the research and the dangers.

[@biancadasilva6402]

Please share 🙏🙏

[@dark0lica]

This conversation needs to happen way more often with any parent! It should be part of a mandatory ''you are going to be a parent, this is what you NEED to know'' course!

[@frankiebee2980]

Def love this discussion and topic. Love the research!! Of note, just to maybe calm the hysteria a little, “undivided attention” from parents isn’t quite uncharted territory, especially for parents of multiple children. As a youngest of 5 kids, I’m 100% sure I never got a moment of undivided attention from my baby-boomer parents. I grew up with Sesame Street, PBS and Disney movies from infancy. My older siblings had TV on all the time. I’ve never hit or even yelled at another person a day in my life. My mother taught me proper morals herself. All that to say, moms, don’t get overly panicked from the research that a group of Ivy League Psychology majors (who have never had or raised a child) develop for an A+. Be balanced and work hard to teach your children personally the values that you appreciate and wish for them to have.

[@734P4R7Y]

I have watched you on and off since you had Rook, and this video took you to a new level for me. This is the content I want to see - useful but also contextualized. I know this type of video is harder to make than other motherhood content (days in my life, best baby products, etc.) but if you do more like this, I am here for it.

[@AshleyEmbers]

Thank you this is the most encouraging thing you could have said! It’s definitely more work but I’m loving doing it. The research, the connection with my community, the real life experiences. I love getting to share it all 😊

[@eden_well]

I relied heavily (too much) on screens for the first 6 mo PP because I was so depressed. My child now does have some temper and short attention span issues that we are trying to break. This conversation helps because there is a grace that I receive knowing I was just trying to do all I can with a reflux baby who didn't like to sleep and I was going crazy. We only know what we know at the time. Thank you for being honest and sharing the statistics! All of us moms are just trying to do the best we can

[@jhayden-cm4yx]

Parents aren't perfect, and with moderation the kids will be fine. Really thoughtful and well executed video. I respect the unbiased approach since you are presenting research but I missed hearing your opinion!

[@arielringel6484]

This is a great video! I really appreciate that you’re talking about this so honestly, and it’s so refreshing to see an online space where the goal is to actually have a conversation. Thank you for this series!

[@AshleyEmbers]

I’m so happy it’s helpful!

[@MissKallyP]

From the time I saw the title I thought. Bang on!

[@seraph511]

I learned so much from this video! Definitely going to reconsider my relationship with screen time. Can confirm that overstimulation is not pleasant for anyone involved!

[@amylouise223]

Well... I definitely came into this video thinking screen time isn't so bad. Lots of different exposures. Like you, I hoped it would help him not to be too obsessed with it later. I'm definitely guilty of "partial-parenting" and never really thought of how that may impact my son. So yeah, very insightful. Need to look at my own screentime consumption and start switching off the TV. Thanks for the video, and the evidence based research you did. As it really gave merit to the topic.

[@MusaViolet]

Love the topic. It make me realize how technology can not only affect your child’s development but your relationship with others. Thank you for bringing facts and tips to the conversation. Please consider buying a 🎙. I’m very excited for the next episode. Thanks again!

[@AlicjaRaczko]

In my experience, too much television (mainly television for children) causes aggression, lack of interest in books, speech delay (which is also proven by research), and inability to organize games by him self. So I try to let my son play tv (he is 22m) in crisis situation, (I am sick, cutting nails, I am trying to make dinner, or he has a fever and nothing is able to give him comfort). The cartoons that I play for him are also in soft colors, which are not loud and not dynamic. And I can see a big difference in his behavior.

[@marisellopez6022]

my toddler was speech delayed and the thing that helped the most was screen time, she first began talking by quoting movies and recently we got her the fire tablet for kids and she has been doing math at 3 years old. I am so impressed, not all technology is bad. I learned English mostly by watching cartoons, like Dora. Everything is best in moderation

[@KT-rk6fn]

Why not read books to her... Other ways for them to hear words...

[@esta1004]

@@KT-rk6fn stop being judgmental

[@amandablack5053]

@@KT-rk6fn because this is working for them?

[@marisellopez6022]

@@KT-rk6fn yes we read a lot to her too

[@lakeiam615]

I talked so much but my son is also speech delayed. He learned so much from the shows he watched and still watches. We just monitor it, obviously.

[@Rose-ok7bt]

Wow thank you so much!!! This is such important information. You really made a difference in my life just now and my daughter will appreciate it in the future.

[@marisellopez6022]

I was born and raised in Cuba and I only had about 1hr of cartoons a WEEEEEK! it was so awful, the bad thing is I also didn't have books and limited toys, but I did love being outside and playing with dirt!

[@katechanterelle]

When I was pregnant and thinking about how I'd raise my little one...I was totally in the mind set of hey I grew up watching tv/playing video games I turned out fine. I didn't think much of what I'd do or not do. But now with my 10 month old I've found that I don't really like doing screen time with my little one. I have also read that screen time also activates a part of their brain that is linked to ADHD/memory problems/aggression. I am liking your new series! Love hearing about other people's thoughts! I am also trying to limit my time on my phone in front of my little one...it's been hard being a new parent in the pandemic and feeling so isolated.

[@AshleyEmbers]

It’s such a tricky situation. I’m just hoping to find a balance that works 😊

[@bethcody8296]

The thumbnail for this vid is heart wrenching. Def have to be more aware of my screen time in front of my babe.

[@katrinamadsen493]

Absolutely love this video. This is such an intelligent and well researched conversation that needs to be had more often! Screen time is such an easy out and is also something that can be equally difficult to avoid because it needs to be a conscious effort or compromise in this day and age. Social media especially (and yes this includes KZbin) is a HUGE problem in that it creates division between people and society at large. Parents need to be more conscious about the impact of this stuff and how to navigate it.

[@ForgingSanity]

I just have to say that I LOVE this video series you’re starting! I’m a FTM with a 7 month old, and I’ve been watching your videos since the end of my pregnancy ‘cause I love how down to earth you are and how open you are about the things you are learning, have learned and have yet to learn. I really appreciated this video, and I loved getting the high level views from the research and practicalities around screen time. All that just to say, one BC mum to another, you are awesome and I love the work you are doing in this community. Super relatable. Super helpful. Thanks Ash!! ❤️ P.S. that partial attention from parents point hits so hard! I try to be really present and intentional with my LO, but that’s one aspect I can see my husband and I having room for improvement. Again, really helpful stuff 👍👍

[@nikimccartney4688]

Awesome job! I have heard these things before but the actually numbers, yikes! I will definitely try to be more aware of my time spent with partial attention! Great episode I love this series ❤️❤️

[@jubby89]

Great video! It's also good to note, that when children are playing and we are on our phones, they notice. They know we are not fully present. For me what has been helpful is designating time for phone scrolling in the evening for a scheduled amount of time. I am always trying to turn the TV off when baby is with my family. No TV, no TV! But sometimes it's on in the background. Thank you for sharing this content!

[@lesley-sheena68]

This video was excellent! Thank you for taking the time to have the conversation and share your research. I feel convicted will be making some much needed changes in our home.

[@larafuad4658]

Wow very informative ❤🎉😊 thank you so much for creating this video... I'm gonna be a first time mom in 2 months and this helped me a lot.. btw I looove your channel❤ God bless you and your beautiful family

[@AshleyEmbers]

Thank you, I’m so happy to help! Best of luck with labor and delivery!

[@caseyharrison6086]

Very interesting topic and you did it justice. I find you to be the most relatable Mum KZbinr. Thanks for being a very real person :-)

[@LaurieLo]

I 110% agree with you on this!! 😮

[@yarazard]

I would love to hear a conversation from a working parent whose child goes to daycare full time. Maybe you can introduce a guest?

[@anastaciazara1787]

The biggest issue I encounter is that I work from home, which is done on a computer. I read on a kindle. I actually spend very little time on my phone, except for the requisite daily baby photos that I send to grandma. I threw away the tv a decade ago, and I have no intention of replacing it. Even still, I spend a lot of time standing or sitting in front of a screen, and my 6-month-old definitely notices. She knows important things happen in front of a screen. In some idealistic pre-technology world, I would be doing something more physically involved, like sewing or canning food or tending chickens or whatever people did "back in the day." But that's not the world we live in. I think it's good for babies and children to see their parents work, be it cooking, cleaning, or computing. Someday, my baby will learn that mama is working when she's standing in front of the screen and typing. It's important that she knows that screens aren't just for playing; they're also for working. That being said, I plan to minimize the use of screen time as much as humanly possible until it gets to a point that her lack of screen time starts to negatively affects her social and academic development.

[@lindseydelight]

I love the info shared in this video, I have a three year old and I was beginning to get relaxed about some shows but this was a great reminder to remain strong and only choose very specific shows. My favourites are Daniel Tiger, Super Why, Our Planet, and Mickey Mouse Club House.

[@ClaraClandestino]

I stopped watching your channel a few videos ago but honestly really liked this one!

[@jasminehamilton7012]

Love this! I definitely feel guilty of spending time on my phone when my bub is awake. One easy thing I’ve been doing is leaving my phone in another room when I take her to change her nappy, taking the time to really connect. Also playing in front of a mirror (mounted to the wall and bubs eye level) almost forces me to be more engaged as when I see my reflection with phone in hand or looking back and forth it’s a visual reminder of what I’m doing, and to then put the phone down

[@AshleyEmbers]

Wow the mirror trick sounds so helpful!

[@jjmarz10797]

Such a necessary conversation. I’m definitely guilty of being addicted to my phone. I would just say I’d be interested to know the age ranges implicated in these studies - I find it hard to believe that if a 10 year old was watching a science show their vocab would be as impacted compared with a toddler 🧐

[@AshleyEmbers]

The studies I read said that only children under 3 don’t learn anything from educational shows 😊

[@nictrinkchic]

I agree with what you have to say. The statics and research is there. However if you are a parent who uses screen time you are not a bad parent. We all have different circumstances and reasons to do certain things. Personally I feel like there is so much information out there that you could really put yourself down the rabbit hole with anything you want. Whatever feels right for you is what’s right for your family. I think this video is great though if you are trying to trouble shoot some behavioral issues or wanting to get some preliminary research into the subject of screen time.

[@cabbagecrosby1993]

This is why I think when my kids are old enough for phones, (my 10 year old already got one from her dad, but I mean the other 3 kids, lol) I think I’ll just get them smart watches. They’ll be less likely to lose them, they’ll be more likely to be on them less since the screens are smaller, and each generation of smart watches seems to be getting more and more reliable as far as connectivity, so I should be able to reach them easily. I like that idea of a minimalist approach.

[@dessiemason2365]

Love this conversation! Looking forward to more of these chats!

[@izzfarahmoltzan2537]

love love love this series! I enjoyed this episode soo much, I'm watching this, and I'm going yes yes yes!

[@lanagreer2048]

This is a great message and very informed, thank you!

[@jasminehamilton7012]

Would love to see a video branching off this topic about toys for children. So many toys are so overly loud and stimulating for children. I would love to hear some debate/ research about the learning comparisons of children bought up in these environments compared to ones where simpler toys were used

[@AshleyEmbers]

Oooo that’s a great idea, thank you!

[@calicedetamarack]

Great video!!!! I'm going to give more thought to distracted time, I go about listening to KZbin all day long!

[@SG0779]

I love love love this! Thank you! So true.

[@Jessssicadanielle]

Okay I only *slightly* feel like garbage lol. I personally let my son watch a few moana or super simple songs a day - it gives me like 6-7 minutes to tidy up without having to hold him. I do have other ways to clean up and occupy him but sometimes they don’t work. Also I’m alone all day because my husband works a lot and we don’t have anyone over to help ever. Thanks for your honesty here! I’ve had a rule since my son was born that we don’t use our phones around him BUT if one of us is on our phone - the other one can’t. I got off of social media in June and that’s helped tremendously with my full attention to my son. I’m gonna send this video to my husband to watch. 🙃

[@ambercraven1532]

Thank you so much 💓

[@christinasmith2817]

Our toddler loves watching operas and other classical music (I know it’s kinda bougie, but we just want to introduce her to things we like and think are good). I find that if she has too much time playing independently or outside or with us she gets really manic and overstimulated. So we put her in her crib with music KZbin all the time (stuff we curate for her, not autoplaying) and we find that it honestly helps her just to have that down time by herself with a distraction. I don’t know if it will be negative effects in the long run, but for now it really seems to work for us

[@morganTW4ever]

Yikes.. I feel like I shouldn't have a TV or phone at all. This has me feeling super depressed

[@Sarah.g.carter]

I agree with you so much!! I'm only three weeks in and I've already noticed that my baby eats less while breastfeeding if I'm on my phone. when I just turn on music and then stay present, he eats better and then sleeps better. also, have you ever done a video on how you chose Rook's name? I love it

[@AshleyEmbers]

My baby announcement video talks about his name 😊

[@Sarah.g.carter]

@@AshleyEmbers perfect thank you!! I’ll go check it out! (I’ve only been here for a few months so I’m behind :p )

[@brittanytrader8567]

That was so good. Very good information

[@cabbagecrosby1993]

This explains why my friend’s toddlers started whining more and acting out after watching Calliou, and my toddler saying stuff like please more after watching the unrealistically “perfectly behaved” children of CoComelon.

[@evapoole4514]

Great info! Well done 👍

[@lezliesmith3354]

We avoid screen time for Alex (9 months). I've only deliberately put on the tv for him a couple times - each time when he was in major meltdown mode where he only wanted to be walked around the apartment and I desperately needed to eat and/or pee. I'm working on my own screen time, and still struggling to pare down on my phone time/social media scrolling. It's tough, but I'd like to think I'm getting better. I do have KZbin or another streaming service going most of the time on my computer (I need the background noise or I can't function/pay attention to anything else). I've tried playing music instead, but for whatever reason my brain just doesn't do well with music vs a BG show (I end up spending way too much time trying to pick the next song). It's interesting to know that even if our children aren't watching the screen they are still being affected by it. Lots to think about and reflect on. I've been trying to get outside more - but I live in a city where there isn't really anywhere to go near me, and getting into the car to go somewhere is a whole other battle. I find being outside helps me, but with no where to let Alex play outside he ends up being stuck in the stroller or carrier where at home he can wander around and practice his walking. We're hoping to buy a house soon, so I feel like I'll be able to make bigger changes once we have a bigger space that can be made completely baby-friendly (by having an extra room to close up the "dangerous" things I don't want Alex to get into so I can let him free-roam around some more).

[@esta1004]

My son who is now almost 5 got screen time (as limited as we could) but also started daycare/preschool at 1 year old and he’s one of the academically advanced kids. Idk if it’s because he was in school early and not home or what! He also knew his ABCs and numbers before the age of 2. So…. Yeah.. I do agree with the research but my son hasn’t portrayed the negative aspects of the data reported. Every kid is different though! We just need to give ourselves grace and sometimes not obsess over screen time too. I am though convicted about my own screen time use.. especially around my kids. Will need to work on this!

[@annatoler6347]

Thank you for this helpful info!

[@crystalgerdes8364]

I don’t have any kids yet but my sister had a daughter when she was 16 so I helped her and we used screen time because she had 3 surgery’s within the first two years of her being born it helped so much to keep her calm during shots

[@cautiousfox1679]

This is excellent, thank you.

[@lilibethcancino9506]

needed this. thank you

[@amarshall5407]

I think for me the biggest issue is MY usage. That whole “undivided attention thing” lol. As far as the background noise thing I have been turning to entertainment podcasts as another means of background noise that is for adults. It doesn’t help I work in tech and work from home part time so I have my phone out answering emails or taking calls etc.

[@ksenia5199]

I have one baby and maybe I’ll feel differently as she gets older or I have more kids, but it sounds like y’all need better villages. When I need a break, I call my mom, mother-in-law, step-mother-in-law, my brother, a friend, my neighbor, the gym daycare, etc.

[@AshleyEmbers]

Truth

[@eihpossharpei]

I listen to your videos on the background 😅

[@chelseashurmantine8153]

This. Is. Fascinating.

[@dileshamcwashington2430]

I grew up watching tv and im not agressive. Dont feel like we can trust all statistics

[@kathryn583]

People who say kids can’t learn from watching TV haven’t met my daughter! It was the opposite with her. She wasn’t delayed. As a matter of fact, she shocked me at 16 months old when she pointed to the TV (which happened to have a commercial for some EXPO going on) & said “E! Elmo!” I nearly passed out. I was like wait, we’re up to letter sounds?? Where did you learn that from? & to this day (5 years old) she tells me all the things she learns from different shows & apps-crazy but true! EDIT: *PS I want to be clear… she’s the exception not the rule! My little guy is not like her at all… I’ve gotta change for him.

[@zuzanawarren4631]

I really wish the background TV was not a problem. I do it ALL the time while playing with my 8 month old. It is hard when you are all day home with a baby not to have something on for yourself. Thank you for the info. I m definitely rethinking my own screen time. Ill miss my binge watching the office . My 8 month really only likes baby shark. From time to time I use it as a tool. Otherwise he has not been exposed to other kids shows.

[@AshleyEmbers]

I feel the same. I rely a lot of background tv. Right now im allowing myself to watch something while I drink my morning coffee and have it on during nap time. That way my son isn’t getting overexposed

[@zuzanawarren4631]

@@AshleyEmbers I started fully turning off the tv one wake window. the other two wake windows it is on only for short period of time.

[@CutieMoli]

I don't have a phone, I don't have a TV but my boyfriend is addicted to screens so I'm scared for our daughter...

[@itsNAAMA]

I appreciate this video and your intentions, but please be cautious about what you read online. Articles that include summaries of scientific studies often don't do the studies justice - they tend to generalize results and describe the study inaccurately. Read the studies themselves if possible, and take any finding with a grain of salt. Anecdotal findings could be incidental, look for patterns in the literature instead of relying on a single study. Thanks again for your videos!

[@nataliafeenstra9415]

Am I the only one seeing irony in watching your video about not watching videos? Lol I agree with you. I grew up with no tv and never regretted that. Just like anithing in life it can be used for good and for evil. It’s all about operator 😉

[@Emma-db1xf]

1. Love this video and learned so much (and feel convicted by the stats …. We’ll be making some changes over here when it comes to screen time, including me!) 2. Where did you get your shirt from ? 😊

[@abbiebaker8533]

So my question is, how does music come into this?? I am much more likely to put music on in the background, is that going to also overstimulate my baby and not be beneficial to her development??

[@kaylas6800]

I used to make crayons talk to each other and tht is proof that kids can always entertain themselves

[@trinityriddell3296]

I would like to think I'll keep the t.v. off when I have a kid, but then when do I get MY screen time?

[@KT-rk6fn]

Night

[@avonhrngal]

My sister has been following the no screen time before age 2. Well her toddler is now 2 and still isn’t saying words or talking…so idk. But also keep in mind they were also under strict quarantine from 8 months to 20 months. So she wasn’t getting other social stimulation.

[@AshleyEmbers]

Speech development is definitely more complicated than just screentime 😅

[@avonhrngal]

Absolutely! I enjoyed hearing your research though and think this is a great discussion to have! I just wouldn’t want anyone to feel like their child is “doomed” because they get screen time here and there. The numbers are scary and we undoubtedly should be giving as much uninterrupted attention as we can to our kids. But since there are so many other factors it’s hard to say that it was solely screen time that affected them. For example; children with more screen time tend to have busier parents who may also use more child care. Therefore having less one-on-one with care takers in general…and so many other correlating factors to account for.

[@morganTW4ever]

I am definitely going to limit 😪

[@katielottie9445]

Ooo very controversial ! Personally I am 27 with no Instagram, Facebook, Twitter or anything else, I love it ! I can give my attention to real things … I mean come on…. Who gives a F what I’m up to ? I’m not a celebrity I doubt anyone would benefit from me posting random pictures of my life and being stuck on my phone all the time looking at other peoples lives ….. The people I want to catch up with have my number and I have real conversations with them ☺️ Hopefully because I’m hardly on my phone only if someone texts or calls me, my future baby won’t be grabbing for it !

[@biancadasilva6402]

👏👏👏👏

[@kendravoracek3636]

❤

[@amberlancaster7055]

Hey so if this series is to be an open conversation and about things YOU learned maybe you can consider NOT titling you’re videos such as this one where it’s very condescending. You are not an expert but you’re a mom who has researched. I am also a mom of 3 and I’m less likely to click videos by newer parents whom are not also an expert in child development and title it as something claiming I do not know something. 🤔 I’m giving you the benefit of the doubt on this one as a follower but this is NOT the first video you’ve titled in this manner.

[@maeovercast4527]

If you don't like the title of her video no one is making you watch it. Smh. 🙄

[@noellerohovit5908]

Hey Karen I think you need to chill. Don't like the title, don't click on the video to watch it. That simple👍