You shouldn’t be having children for “happiness”. Happiness is your internal state and your problem to figure out. The amount of children has nothing to do with it.
@AshleyEmbers2 жыл бұрын
Maybe I should have phrased it more about life satisfaction
@MsPoliteRants2 жыл бұрын
I agree. Children are new humans with their own needs, desires and hopefully one day their own opinions. They also could be miserable in their adult life. Having a child just because it would make YOU happy or “satisfied in life” is among the most selfish reasons to procreate.
@ldinsing2 жыл бұрын
I would love to see a episode about sharing children on social media. I'm from Germany and here most mothers don't show their kids faces or tell their real name for privacy. So are there studies about how it can affect children or what topics should be kept private? What are your thoughts and what can be the positive aspects for mothers and kids?🙈
@racheldesimone44602 жыл бұрын
Interesting topic idea! I recently watched footage of Michael Jackson covering his children's faces for their privacy.
@Smtl19872 жыл бұрын
Yessss please do this topic. I personally havent sharex my son on socials but sometimes I want to throw away that mindset
@verenamonika6022 жыл бұрын
Very interesting one I would also like this topic! Also hello from.Germany here
@vanessaangel71482 жыл бұрын
Yes! Great topic!!
@immeremma2 жыл бұрын
I'm a Canadian living in Germany and feel really conflicted on this! Personally I think it's fine to share family photos and nothing too personal like emotional struggles or location info, but I feel that the culture here isn't the same and my children may feel or be told we didn't care about them. It's quite the hot topic here!
@Cyanopteryx2 жыл бұрын
Multi-family housing, people growing their own food, consuming less disposable/packaged materials, ending fast-fashion, etc. These are some of the things we could tackle immediately. Not just telling people to have less kids so we can continue the exact same wasteful lifestyles "guilt-free".
@AshleyEmbers2 жыл бұрын
I completely agree!
@DanielleNicolette2 жыл бұрын
I read an article recently about how the idea of “limiting your carbon footprint” is actually propaganda by big oil, to shift blame to the individual rather than look at regulating oil and coal industries, which would actually have a much bigger impact on climate change. It’s not that we shouldn’t all do our part, but that individual lifestyle choices can only make so much of an impact if we aren’t looking at the biggest offenders.
@AshleyEmbers2 жыл бұрын
Wow yes I believe it!
@silentIypraying2 жыл бұрын
10000% accurate
@morganunraveled2 жыл бұрын
I completely agree. we shouldn’t be aiming to sustain wasteful lifestyles!
@hyacintify2 жыл бұрын
I don't have children yet, but I hope to have one or two some day. I come from quite a big family, 5 siblings, and I feel like my parents did not spend enough time with each child individually to give the support they needed. And I think that is a very important part, it might make you happy to have 5 kids, but it can make your kids miserable if they have to compete for your attention. This is of course my personal experience and I think it could be done well, you just have to make sure everyone gets the attention they deserve.
@anasotoco2 жыл бұрын
I initially didn’t want kids till my thirties; once I got married I thought I wanted three. We now have two and we think we’re done but maybe want another yet maybe not. There really is so much to consider when having kids. Thank you for this conversation I found it so interesting.
@veronicaelise51202 жыл бұрын
I think another consideration is long term happiness. Having many kids may make the present harder, but can make your life happier in the long run. My parents had 7 kids, and now they have so much family and grandkids. It makes them so happy to have all of us around. I also want many kids because I am excited about the challenge of raising many good contributions to society, investing in my older years, and also I think the challenges will make me into a better person.
@missloretta2 жыл бұрын
On hard days I imagine the huge family Christmases and family reunions that I'm going to have one day and I want that SOOOO bad. 💕
@sajinas86222 жыл бұрын
Lovely 😍 The thought itself gives a sense of happiness and fulfillment 😘
@HerWanderlustАй бұрын
That makes perfect sense. I do think that those without children are perfectly able to have lifelong happiness-it’s a mindset, not necessarily dependent upon having lots of blood relatives
@erinshannon11142 жыл бұрын
Love this topic. I'm a mom of one baby girl. Before her I thought I would at least have two babies. Now that I have her, I'm so conflicted about having a second. I had a rough go with PPD and the sleep deprivation has just been a lot. I knew it would be hard, but I didn't know how hard I would take it. Like you, I love being a mom, but I'm also my own person and I know the more kids I have, the less time I'll have for me in the early years. It's conflicting.
@bratmari2 жыл бұрын
I felt that way!!! We moved 2xs before my son was 7months, the first at 5 weeks old, super lonely and super depressed and didn't enjoy being a mom some of the time! Super sleep deprived until 2yrs old. I didn't want another no matter what anyone told me. Until the pandemic, last October I saw how lonely he was and decided to have one more. He's 4.5 now and he's getting a little sister next month. It always depends on your situation, no one should feel pressured either way.
@AshleyEmbers2 жыл бұрын
So conflicting 🧡
@Em-rg6vg2 жыл бұрын
I feel the same way! I always wanted 3 and now with 1 and PPD I don’t know if I want anymore. It is tough!
@BellosdemiAlma2 жыл бұрын
I only can say for encourage you (I have 2, of 8 and 5 years old) and is hard the first years, and then all flows, they play together, and in that moment I can do things for myself. With the second was so hard the sleep... but then she change, around the 1,5/2 years. Maybe you need a person who can came a take care of your child and you can do a nap or a long bath... as a helper. I do that with a friend, and had a really great result in my soul
@elizabethcronsell93012 жыл бұрын
Could have wrote this myself. I've also concluded that having a better support network would have vastly changed my experience.
@darbirhian2 жыл бұрын
I think people should have as many children as they can afford. We are not over populated in the West. That's it.
@yarazard2 жыл бұрын
Most people can’t even afford one kid realistically, so there’s that.
@oliviacartwright48692 жыл бұрын
Loving the "Motherhood in Progress" series! Very thought provoking. I don't have kids yet, but I am planning/hoping for 2. The environmental impact of having kids has weighed heavily on my mind (since I also live in Canada). I will lead by example - backyard composting, using a clothesline during the summer, harvesting food from my own garden, buying quality products that last etc. My future kids will know this way of life, positively influencing their social circle, and creating bigger picture change into the future
@AshleyEmbers2 жыл бұрын
I love this 😊
@andreab99542 жыл бұрын
Rook’s cry around 15:23 had me checking my monitor thinking my daughter woke up! Very interesting video by the way. You can tell you put a lot of work into it.
@AshleyEmbers2 жыл бұрын
Hahaha it even got me thinking rook was up while I was editing it 😂
@morganTW4ever2 жыл бұрын
I love the way you did your hair.
@AshleyEmbers2 жыл бұрын
Thank you!
@BooksToAshes2 жыл бұрын
People constantly say that the world is overpopulated while the area I'm moving to is in the country and most of the population are older, people are having less children and no ones taking over the farmland since families don't have children to help work on it. We can sustain ourselves in this world with our population, I just think it's being done improperly.
@theythemmama41652 жыл бұрын
This was such an interesting watch and definitely changed my views a bit on overpopulation! I still think I will probably only have the one just because my physical and mental health really took a toll while I was pregnant. I was also an only child and never really felt like I missed out, I had family who were hands on and were happy to play with me and I intend to be that way with M too. But this video really had me thinking and I love this series! Thank you for having these discussions 🥰
@AshleyEmbers2 жыл бұрын
Thank you for sharing! It’s going to be completely normal in the next ten years to see moms with only one child
@laurbar2312 жыл бұрын
I was an only child and I think I missed out on a lot not having a sibling. I just had my third baby in July and I think I still want one more. 😬 It's not easy being a parent but it's so rewarding. I wouldn't change a thing. Good luck with your decision. ❤️
@racheldesimone44602 жыл бұрын
Fertility issues are caused in part by increasing use of hormone-disrupting chemicals in household products.
@SawyerMartoglio2 жыл бұрын
I’ve been thinking that one child is my desire. As someone with not great wonderful ties I’ve felt pressured to get along with siblings. I’ve also been interested in fostering. And by not having multiple myself I will have more time energy and money to ensure I can provide for children in need of safe spaces to live.
@AshleyEmbers2 жыл бұрын
That’s an awesome mindset
@kristinz11662 жыл бұрын
I am an only child, and I don’t have a large extended family. I don’t feel like this hindered my social well-being. I attended school and my parents were encouraging of my friendships. There are many positives of being an only child, the biggest being my parents had more time and resources to focus on me. Also, I have a close relationship with my parents. Now that I have my first child I am contemplating whether or not to have a second. We have really found our rhythm as a family, and I don’t want to lose that. I, too, am the kind of person that needs more than motherhood to be happy. The only real reason I’m thinking of having another child is in case something happened to both me and husband. I would not want my child to be alone in that. Is that a good enough reason?
@AshleyEmbers2 жыл бұрын
Thank you so much for your insight 🧡
@ericadancewithme2 жыл бұрын
I’m also an only child! I’m only close to my Mum who is twice divorced & I’m not close to either father. My Mum now has cancer & when she told me initially I did feel sad that I couldn’t share this sadness with a sibling but I got over that really quickly. Though the thought of not having her around especially as I have a nearly 1 year old baby is sad it doesn’t feel impossible. I feel like being an only child has taught me independence from all angles & I know in the end I will always be ok & I’m kinda happy that I don’t have siblings I need to look out for & focus on my own family. :)
@kristinz11662 жыл бұрын
@@ericadancewithme I’m so sorry to hear about your mom. You bring up a really good point about independence. Though not always my preference, I am definitely comfortable being alone. I believe when you’re an only child you value close relationships with the family you build for yourself, whether that be a spouse, children, or close friends.
@darbirhian2 жыл бұрын
A good enough reason for you! You don't need anyone else's approval. We had a sibling as our kids don't have cousins close to home nor in age. We didn't want our daughter to be alone. We also didn't want my daughter to be alone when me and her dad pass.
@lyssthehobbyist2 жыл бұрын
This was a great topic and you did such a good job with your research! It's really interesting.. I feel like an overlooked part of this topic is the affects on children. Having many siblings can be cool, but there are a ton of factors that I feel like are often overlooked.. Be it the family having too many children where parents can't give them the time they crave, or most notably in my experience, developmental differences children have that require more attention. It is so hard to tell the needs that your children will have through life.. Not to mention what happens when the children reach adulthood (especially considering people stay at home much longer now due to the rising cost of living). I am speaking from the perspective of living in the US, so I think the cost of having children is just much higher here in general (healthcare, education, housing, ex) It's something that's been heavy on my mind recently. Great video though! Very thought provoking.
@Svitlap29872 жыл бұрын
I love this series. Thank you for putting this together. I learned a lot.
@missloretta2 жыл бұрын
Oh my gosh my kid is only 6 months and I already want more. I want to fill a whole minivan!!! I'm sad it took me so long to realize I love having kids and I might be really good at it! But alas my period has yet to return. 🤪 We'll see how it goes.
@Susu-hb2pi2 жыл бұрын
loved this video! I've been thinking about this a lot lately and this showed many different sides to the same discussion/issue.
@heyanu2 жыл бұрын
I love your analysis. These are so many topics I think about in my own time. But it's just not mainstream conversation. It's data analysis done right!
@AshleyEmbers2 жыл бұрын
Thank you so much!
@ramblingcaroline24112 жыл бұрын
I love love love this video. So many people just assume 'I'll have two kids so that myself and my partner aren't contributing to further overpopulation' as though it were that simple. There's so many aspects to this topic though and I think you did a great job discussing them!
@kiwi62ful2 жыл бұрын
I'd love one of these about working mothers/going back to work/stay at home mothers
@AshleyEmbers2 жыл бұрын
It’s already on the list 😉
@joanagamafilho80772 жыл бұрын
Love your content. Just wanted to say something about the overpopulation point. The key problem here is adding more consumers to the world. The problem isn’t children, the problem is capitalism. In fact, when we hear people blaming families in poor countries for having too many children but we know we have the wrong focus. Small families in well developed countries cause way more impact to the environment through traveling and consumerism than any poor family will ever be able to. So, the problem doesn’t lay on having more people in the planet, but the simple fact that we live in a capitalistic society and having a child without consuming one single thing is just impossible. The planet can take more people, but it won’t be able to take more consumers for so long. Now, should we put the burden of this fact on us, people, or are big corporations the ones to blame? Obviously, big corporations and the way our whole economic system are structured is the biggest culprits here. However, should we really expect them to change? No, because they won’t. It is too late now to reverse back from a capitalistic way of living. So in this sense, yes, having fewer or no children at all can help the planet. It really can. I have one baby. I always wanted to have two. Now I don’t anymore. Simply because I think it would be selfish to bring another baby in a world where future is so uncertain. What quality of life will they have? What are the battles they will have to fight? What will we have left for them to enjoy in 50 years? We simply don’t know.
@yarazard2 жыл бұрын
Capitalism isn’t necessarily the problem, it’s unregulated capitalism.
@hannahesperance64012 жыл бұрын
This topic is so interesting to me! My husband and I have two kids, and we have decided not to have anymore. There were a lot of reasons we decided this. Our main reason was we didn’t feel like we could give our very best if we were struggling to take care of more kids. We wanted to have plenty of time to invest in our kids and teach them how to be good human beings. Not that you can’t do that if you do have more then two kids! There are definitely people who can and do. But for us we feel like two is perfect. We still want to have time for our marriage, and for our individual selves. We don’t want to feel like we’re hanging on by a thread all the time if we can avoid it! Also, I didn’t feel like I wanted a second kid until my first son was two. Our kids our three years apart. I have a three and a half year old and a 6 month old and it has been great for us 🥰 Thank you for putting out these discussion videos! I love this series.
@cecilelebleu59842 жыл бұрын
My husband has an interesting reason to want more than 1 kid: the (perceived) obligation to care for your parents when they’re old. If you only have one kid, he or she will feel like they have the burden of having to take care of his or her parents when they are old. If you have 2, 3, 4 kids, that responsibility is split up and it’s a much more relaxed responsibility. I of course don’t want my kids to feel like they have to take care of me at any time, I’d like for them to be free from the crutches of the past, but it’s still a valid point to keep in mind especially with things like dementia, medical debt, recession, and other unpredictable circumstances.
@imanaub41002 жыл бұрын
This is such great content, and im super delighted that you decided to put the time into it.
@winterspringsummer95612 жыл бұрын
I don’t believe in overpopulation. I just don’t want kids, especially when there’s so many kids in the system being neglected + abused. Most people believe they won’t really be a mother if they don’t have their own, biological kids. That thought (in my opinion) is negative. And I’m happy I don’t have any and never will because I know that now is the worst time to have kids. Mainly because of the way the USA is rn. I can’t have a child knowing I won’t be able to provide their every need, knowing they’d be discriminated against/assaulted/abused/etc.
@AshleyEmbers2 жыл бұрын
That’s fair. I agree that this is a scary time where we’re are putting a lot of pressure on the future generations to fix our mistakes
@autismenlightenment2 жыл бұрын
This is my favorite episode. Well done and interesting. I am way more inclined to watch = (listen while pumping) something educational and stimulating than a lot of other content. I had the choice and chose to watch this during my little window of screen time. We have one daughter, I do cloth diapers, I've been vegetarian for over 20 years. Wed love to try for a boy but we probably will not. We dont own a home and we have 50% risk of hereditary heart defect and autism. Both my partner and I are autistic. I'd rather put all my time and limited resources in raising one child. I had siblings and none of us are close emotionally.
@HerWanderlustАй бұрын
I think people should be very mindful about each child they add to the world. Some people want to have five kids and don’t consider the impact each of those children will have on the world over their entire lifetime…others choose not to have kids and that is one of their contributions to the environment and the future of the world. I am not having kids, And so I feel I bear less of the burden of lifestyle changes that are environmentally focused. Even if I used resources without any thought of my effect (I don’t) I would still not be impacting the planet as much as someone who has brought multiple other humans into existence and therefore is responsible for their lifetime impact 💜
@linam.96752 жыл бұрын
For me, there is also the factor of how the world will be 50 years from now.. will that little person wish that he wasn't born? Seems in 50 years or so the surface of Earth will be much different, far less green patches, far more deserts, far hotter and less livable weather, far worse food and water... Would it be fair to make the decision for this human to be born in light of such grim forcast?
@natalietaylor99442 жыл бұрын
I’ve always wanted four kids and my husband has always been a bit nervous about that in terms of the population and environment, so this was a great video to get some perspective! I feel like until we have our first, we won’t REALLY know what we want, but he is more open to the idea of more and I am open to the idea of less if it fits with our family as we grow.
@nicolepotts80982 жыл бұрын
Looks like there's a lack of research on the amount of children and quality of life for the parents later in life. What is the difference in quality of life for an 80 year old who had one child vs 4 or 5. Just another angle to consider.
@AshleyEmbers2 жыл бұрын
Very interesting 🧐
@naiadejanosch32372 жыл бұрын
When you mention about the economy the idea of having less kids does not look good because it does not supply enough workers for the OLD industrial economic system. But in order for the future to be more sustainable we need to shift this system to a "greener" version, where continuos economic growth does not defines the degree of development of a society, specially social. Therefore, having less children may not seam good at first (economically saying) but it does give a step in the right direction. When the generation of boomers retire it may be at first a burden but it will also be the necessary push in order to shift the system. After the boomers are dead there will be more resources available for the population, such as affordable housing, food and land.
@AshleyEmbers2 жыл бұрын
Oooo very interesting. I never thought that we could change how the economy runs
@EclipsedWillow2 жыл бұрын
I'm planning on having 6 children, I've always wanted a big family. I'm from Denmark, so children definitely isn't as much of a financial burden here as opposed to the US or Canada.
@silentIypraying2 жыл бұрын
I’m planning on having 4 or 5, but im from the US. Pray for me!
@isabelleleturcq8402 жыл бұрын
I really like your « motherhood in progress » series! Thank you very much for sharing your questions, your research, your reasoning and your voice 🙏❤️
@mollym57952 жыл бұрын
I love these Motherhood in Progress videos! Thank you for putting out something different and content with substance❤️Love your other videos too! xoxo
@pyro28382 жыл бұрын
I didn’t think I was gonna learn today and I’m kinda glad that I have because of this video
@MzEllaful2 жыл бұрын
I would say inflation is a huge culprit for smaller or no families here in the US. A lot of women want to make it in the corporate world, but that can delay finding a good husband or prevent these women from having children. The most painful experience is having to leave your little baby to go to work, especially when they are crying for you to stay. That's something that will stab you in the heart every time. Now on the other hand, some women who have grown up on welfare will have many many children since they have no economic conscience. The government plays father to those families and there is little motivation to change. Since they never work they're an economic burden to society. Now with immigration.. immigration should be a slow process where the individual proves they want to be a responsible citizen and not here just for the welfare programs. When an illegal immigrant gets better insurance compared to what I get while working full-time, that's a slap in the face. Older generations who emigrated into the US were dedicated to acclimating. My grandparents who were first generation, would not teach my father their native language because they wanted him to only speak English. Nowadays it seems like so many who come to the states won't acclimate, and instead they continue to flourish in the problems that caused them to leave their home county. Don't even get me started on the new slums in the European countries that were good places to live before the refugees brought over their own primitive culture that has caused the native citizens to suffer. "You can put a prince in a prison, and he will turn it into a palace. But when you put the pauper into the palace he will turn it into a slum." -fruitful living isn't intrinsic, it's taught through sacrifice and willingness to evolve.
@MzEllaful2 жыл бұрын
Sorry, this went a slightly different direction focusing on your sub topics. But I think even numbered families help prevent the kiddos from ganging up on the odd numbered child. All the nurses in the maternity ward said four was the best amount of kids. The world needs more intelligent and beautiful people who are innovative and work hard. I would love to see Elon Musk have a huge family!
@BabySleepTeam2 жыл бұрын
Such an interesting topic! It is so true that your consideration changes once you have kids vs. before you started having them. We have been blessed with 2 healthy children and we feel like we've hit the jackpot!
@yarazard2 жыл бұрын
A lot of it comes down to financials. If you are both working parents, and you work outside the home, can you afford to have more than two kids in daycare?Maybe you have grandparents that are retired that are happy to help support a growing family, if not, it’s incredibly difficult financially. Maybe after the first one is in elementary school, and you are young/ready you can work on having 3+. Every family is different but financials are a huge factor.
@ahsulee2 жыл бұрын
This is such an excellent video--your best yet! Thank you so much for all of the research you did and for presenting it all so clearly. What a great conversation to start, and something we all think about. I look forward to the next Motherhood In Progress ;)
@sabamujkic3922 жыл бұрын
My analytical tendencies loved this video, as I've thought about similar stuff when planning for even my first child. Great video!
@nataliaczerwczak96182 жыл бұрын
Girl, that video is so dope! I am a new mom and I guess I miss the joy of making a research of any kind and I just loooove what you did there. Please make more videos like This one ! It feels like being back at Uni, but better, cause it is 100% interesting. All the best all the way from still developing in so many ways, Poland
@LSK12 жыл бұрын
Y’all should care about the environment….
@silentIypraying2 жыл бұрын
oh just shut up, the right to reproduce shouldn’t be stripped from us just because companies don’t want to stop polluting the world
@jessicadrawsthings2 жыл бұрын
Wow! This is my first time seeing one of your Motherhood in Progress videos. Very informative and surprising!
@jessicadrawsthings2 жыл бұрын
I have one and am working on a second... still wondering if we'll have more.
@morganunraveled2 жыл бұрын
I loved this discussion. I think the individual should be conscious of reducing their footprint, but simultaneously I don’t believe the responsibility should fall on the masses when we are not the ones creating the bulk of the issue. I like how you researched to answer your question. in my opinion, no matter how many children it’s ‘ideal’ to have I think if you aren’t ready for no.2 then you shouldn’t yet but when/if you are, go for it. I know it’s stressful to wonder “well what if I never feel ready?” but I really think the most satisfaction comes from doing what feels right to you and your family, whether thats having 4 back to back or two several years apart! family planning is completely up to the individual family!
@letsgiveitatry56612 жыл бұрын
China and India has a higher population then the USA. China is 1.402 billion India is 1.38 billion USA is 329.5 million. That’s crazy. Canada’s population is 38.01 million. I feel like the population is already going down in some places because of everything going on. So I feel having kids 3-4 isn’t that much of a bad thing. Having 8-10 is kinda crazy. But I feel like everyone should go ahead and have the number of babies they want. They should try to live healthier though and take care of the planet so that everyone can live healthier.
@amarshall54072 жыл бұрын
Just curious did you ever land on a number of kids that feels right to you? Personally the decision of number of kids was a long talk between my spouse and I. We are settled on 2 (due with the last this November). A big part of this is that we feel this is the number that we can emotionally, financially, and mentally take care of to the best of our abilities. We feel anything more will stretch us on one of those which can effect the quality of life of everyone in a family.
@AshleyEmbers2 жыл бұрын
Right now we’re thinking of having two but we aren’t locking that in unless we want more
@amarshall54072 жыл бұрын
@@AshleyEmbers Thanks for the reply! I hope you didn't feel pressured to give an actual numerical answer. I was more just curious if your research had actually helped you and your husband make a more concrete decision.
@LinetteArroyo2 жыл бұрын
This was a great topic! I’ve been getting a lot of negative comments about only wanting one child. I have a five month old and am pretty sure he’ll be an only child. I was basically an only child (my siblings were born after I was 12) and I had friends and cousins around during my younger years and was fine. My son will also have that. I also know so many people who grow up not even speaking with their siblings, so the argument of wanting your children to grow up and be friends isn’t always going to happen. My husband and I love to travel and have a great support system with family and friends. We’d love to continue a similar lifestyle and having more than one child would make that difficult for us. Plus, I want to give my one child the best (education, food, time, etc).
@Marie1102962 жыл бұрын
When we are talking about the environment it is important to remember that, yes there are things that we can do as individual (recycling, composting, consuming less in general, eating less meat, etc), but the burden of the faith of the earth DOES NOT fall on individuals. The ones having the most impacts are big compagnies; the carbon footprint of individuals fall somewhere between 20 and 30% of global emissions. But our impact, as individuals, is so small that I don't think it should weigh in your decision to have one more kid. Just teach them about respecting the earth and consuming less, but one person having 2 or 3 or 4 or even 5 kids isn't going to have that big of an impact on climate change. Teach them good values and do what makes you happy. 🤷♀️❤️
@AshleyEmbers2 жыл бұрын
Yes! 👌🏻
@LisaZoe862 жыл бұрын
I still think you are overthinking^^ You dont want another child right now and thats fine. Why should you want another child when Rook is still so very young? If that feeling of not wanting another kid changes some day, then you'll have another. Because then you'll want another, you'll yearn for a baby again. To me at least it's that simple. Go with thd flow. Let Rook become a little older before maybe he becomes a bigger brother. :-) My sister is almost 5 yesrs younger and for us that worked perfectly. We love each other very much and always have.
@Emily-mo5es2 жыл бұрын
I’m OBSESSED with this series 😍
@Korriewithak2 жыл бұрын
I'm still bouncing between having an only child or having more children, potentially with a 5 year minimum age gap. A single child mother I follow said when they decided to have only one child, it was a hard decision and she went through a grieving process. But she and her family are thriving! It's definitely a decision dependent on your own situation!
@KC-jt7dk2 жыл бұрын
You read my mind! We have one child who is nearly 1 year old and have started thinking about whether to have a second. My biggest concern about not having one is not giving my first a sibling. I enjoy really close relationships with my siblings and my consequent niece and nephews and I don't want my first to miss out on this. But I don't have a strong urge to have another one. Not an easy decision to make. Thanks for you video. It hasn't really helped. Haha. But good to know I'm not the only one thinking about these things.
@AshleyEmbers2 жыл бұрын
Hahaha that’s fair if it hasn’t helped 😂. I feel the same conflict of wanting rook to have a sibling close in age
@shelbobaggins02 жыл бұрын
Growing up I always said I didn’t want any children. I have a Sister who is 12 years younger than me so I helped a lot with her raising. It kind of turned me off to children even though I adored her. Here I am years later age 24 with a two-year-old and a baby on the way. And I couldn’t tell you how many kids I want but I know for sure that I’m not done! We think possibly 4.
@zuzannazajac57862 жыл бұрын
As to feeling like you should start thinking about a second child - don't feel like you have to make any decision now. My parents have 4 kids, our ages right now are: 31, 25, 17, 15. Enjoy being a mom to one child and when you feel like it, you can have more ❤️
@richardhronek71402 жыл бұрын
I totally agree that this is a tough topic. Our nearly one-year-old has been sick for the past 1.5 weeks, so when I think about having another, I’m like “Nah…”. But you kept on saying you want someone to tell you what’s best and found evidence supporting the idea that two is the number for being the most happy…but just dismissed it.
@AshleyEmbers2 жыл бұрын
Haha true! I did because there was so much conflicting evidence in each category
@brittanysteedman4452 жыл бұрын
This is such a hard topic. My husband and I are trying for a child right now. Originally I wanted 3-4 when I was younger. We got pregnant in January and I had a miscarriage at 8 weeks. It was devastating and really took a toll on my mental health. We have been trying for 8 months now and have not managed to get pregnant. I’m starting to think I only want one child now as we would be able to put all of our resources and time towards that one child and hopefully provide them with the best life possible. My husband and I do not have close relationships with our own siblings or parents, we both come from very toxic families. We want to break the cycle and create a healthy upbringing for our child. From what I have witnessed around me families that have more than 1 child struggle more with finding the time and money to dedicate to each child which is what we really want to stay away from. We plan to be as involved with our child/children as humanly possible. Right now I’m praying we get twins, a boy and a girl and we would be so happy to stop there lol. My husband really wants a son so we have kind of agreed if we don’t have a son first try we will try up to 3 for a boy lol but realistically who knows, I’m kinda really set on just one unless it’s twins lol This topic stresses me out.
@user-kh7ef4ho4d7 ай бұрын
Emotional, social, financial resources
@KacangFamily2 жыл бұрын
I’m glad you did this topic because it’s something I struggled in my head. I love all the research you did for this! I actually became vegetarian then vegan because of the effect on climate. I have 2 and we aren’t sure about financially supporting 3. 💙 Annisa
@linam.96752 жыл бұрын
Just read the title (haven't watched the vid yet) but YES! YES! Feels like the world is coming to an ugly era, and bringing a new life to it seems sooooooo wrong
@missloretta2 жыл бұрын
I think values are passed down from parents to children. Like we all argue online but what really resonates about what is best in life often comes in some way from our parents. So I think it's valuable to have a lot of children who are deeply interested in how to live well but live simply in harmony with the earth. That is something that really attracts the mind of you and some others in the western world- and are always inventing new ways to help, even if the AVERAGE of what Americans do is very wasteful and hard on the earth. So I actually believe in having as many as God gives you IF you really know you're making good ones who'll impact the world in a positive way.
@user-kh7ef4ho4d7 ай бұрын
Ideal family in the 50s used to be 3+ kids
@mefeatme2 жыл бұрын
Really interesting subject. I been thinking about it a lot and can’t decide if I want more than one child. My conclusion is that I will probably get one more if my heart starts longing for one the same way it did when I got pregnant the first time around. For me, giving my child a sibling is not a good enough reason. Also, a reading tip on the topic of climate change and family planing: Factfullness by Hans Rosling. Thanks for a great video!! ⭐️
@QUEENxTIMBIT2 жыл бұрын
Such a great discussion! Definitely hard to know what the right answer is.
@EnaGoba2 жыл бұрын
I am getting real tired of the 'have less children' argument. I think it's so shortsighted, and the people ive heard it from continue on as if they see no value in people in general. As if we should all just die, so as not to overburden the earth. I mean ... Not exactly my mindset, lol. I think the earth is here at our disposal, not that we should just stop doing everything we like and are condinioned to do, so the earth could thrive. What does that even mean?? I am saying this from the perspective where i try very hard to use less resources wherever possible (less waste, less fast fashion, more 2nd hand shopping for essentials, etc). So the people being the earth's "master", but the best and most responsible possible
@silentIypraying2 жыл бұрын
They see no value in human life. To them we are nothing but an infestation to be rooted out; culled.
@sarahstarks32682 жыл бұрын
Just one child is perfect for our family.
@IssSandy2 жыл бұрын
Disclaimer: Commenting without watching the video but please dont come at me. I am just addressing the first two words in the video title that overpopulation is a myth. In my opinion, its not a myth. Coming from a highly populated country, where people struggle for decent living space, affordable electricity, potable water, affordable and healthy/nutritious food, quality education etcetera; I would say that overpopulation is indeed a problem in some countries. There is lack of opportunities in every context. For example, a public sector may advertise 300 job openings for which 300,000 eligible/qualified candidates apply. People are struggling to get into their preferred courses, programs, schools, professions and so on. This results in a huge socio-economic disparity that continues generation after generation. People are forced out of their home cities or even their own countries in search of better opportunities, leading to families living in far off places, social isolation, culture shock and added stress. People who migrate to different countries face the inevitable risk of losing their cultural identity and language. I almost went the essay route. The essence of what I am typing is that over population is a dangerous situation, maybe not globally, but for a particular country/context.
@camillerijess2 жыл бұрын
Love this new series, and great topic today! The 2 or 3 debate has been on my mind lately (I have 1) but I just assume I'll 'know' once I have another whether I am done or not. I know so many people in my cohort (I live in Australia) not having any kids at all that overpopulation is no longer a concern for me. I think it will come down to finances and whether I feel physically able to have a third (I am currently 32). I come from a family of 3 and am the third child and sometimes I wonder if that is the major drive for me to have three. My husband is the oldest sibling and is more than happy with our one daughter 😂
@AshleyEmbers2 жыл бұрын
I also feel the need to have three because I grew up as one of three kids
@tulip199292 жыл бұрын
Small thing - To my knowledge the language now used is high, medium, and low income countries.
@letursparkleshine2 жыл бұрын
Love this!!!
@racheldesimone44602 жыл бұрын
Me personally, I have one child, and would want a second. His father is not wanting more, so I will be content to have one.
@user-kh7ef4ho4d7 ай бұрын
5 earths to sustain American lifestyle
@clickity52 жыл бұрын
I am an only child raised by a single father & grew up pretty happy, never really wanting siblings. Now I'm 27 & expecting my first born in 4 weeks! Living in Canada has made me want only 1-2 kids, everything is just expensive & with myself being an only child, i would feel confident in raising just 1. My partner though has 4 siblings & thinks 2 would be good. Only time & finances will tell! 😂
@BellosdemiAlma2 жыл бұрын
Hello, here from Argentina. Here most have 2 or more children, there are those who choose to have only 1, but it is not the usual (my grandparents' generation was the minimum 2 or 3, and most had 4 or more) So it shows that the number decreases of births per woman In my family all my aunts had 2 or 3, and of my cousins we are divided between 1 and 2. I particularly have 2, and for now I do not see possible to have more (I am alone) but I would have 3 or 4. Here It is a huge country in area (8th in the world), with populations concentrated in a few cities, and a small population in comparison (we did not reach 50 million). Certainly here there are monthly aid per child if you have low income, education can be free until university (there are private ones but they are by choice) and health (even if it is regular depending on the place of the country) also has free hospitals (the same there are clinics private, but they are paid if you want or if you work this "social work" which is like insurance that is deducted from the salary and covers this expense). Even so, many decide to have only 1 or 2 children because they like it that way. Regarding having only one child, it is important not only happiness in childhood, but the future burden of caring for parents and grandparents, and the unconscious or conscious expectations placed on that one person, which can be very exhausting for that individual (it is very interesting to see the studies on this impact on China's one-child policy). Also in a pandemic note that children with siblings better withstood possible isolations or lockdowns. Many children were depressed or had bad times on their own, while my children were able to have a more "normal" routine. Playing together Ultimately I think it is a personal decision, something that no study can determine is "how I see myself in the future." Thanks! And I hope my reflection will serve you. Greetings
@Merelruiter2 жыл бұрын
Thank you for this informative video:)
@beetafly22 жыл бұрын
In the US, if you surpass 12 kids then you get a tax break.
@yarazard2 жыл бұрын
If you surpass 12 kids you need a break of any kind.
@jenniferstuart12282 жыл бұрын
Not related to the video per say but your hair looks great in this style hehe 💁🏻♀️
@AshleyEmbers2 жыл бұрын
Thank you 😊
@user-kh7ef4ho4d7 ай бұрын
Russia: $9k per kid Generating work force
@m.j.m.44762 жыл бұрын
What a controversial topic! I thought I wanted 2! Now with one and the awful experience we all had during labour, I don't want more. I moved from a south American country to the UK. I can't believe the amount of stuff people consume here. When you are in a poor country, people can't afford to buy and buy. I guess it helps the earth even though environmental policies are not in abundance. And with the vegetarian idea, we need iron from meet (plant based iron is not well absorbed, at around 1%) and we need Vitamin B12 (at least from egg yolk). Otherwise, we are condemning ourselves as humans.The vegan route is clearly not designed by someone who knows about human physiology. I would love to see yet a longitudinal study about the effects of veganism, especially around neurodevelepment and reproduction. However, we don't need to eat a cow a month. We can do better than that. Consumerism has a lot to answer for.
@verenamonika6022 жыл бұрын
Been staying in uganda vs germnay and also see that a family with one child consumes here more as a family of however many kids there, totally ridiculous how many things people buy in germany and I guess generel western countries for kids and themselves., with animal foods I agree as well even fish fat so important for our brain and health..I think its about conclusion consum and how we treat animals also
@user-kh7ef4ho4d7 ай бұрын
Climate change in developed countries to cut carbon footprint
@justinesnyder50232 жыл бұрын
I always dreamed on having four! But my husband has a hard stop after two. Lol.
@sajronimakaroni84832 жыл бұрын
I have a son(9months old) and i want a second baby. I am afraid will we have money for 2 children,thats the bigest problem. we have to pay for kredit for our new apartment and a second smal kredit,for us 3 now the money is just ok, I work 4 hour from home since my son is born...its hard but posiblle. but how to do it with 2 kids. its sad to think that becouse of money we are not able to have a 2 child and I am 33...the time is now! what to do!!!!
@AshleyEmbers2 жыл бұрын
I feel the same conflict. I was just talking to josh last night about dental costs. Even with insurance, it only covers some of it and when your kids need dental work it can be a huge financial burden
@salmanahmad99162 жыл бұрын
Sajroni ......plz guide me ......... English is not my native language......my English is very poor.......
@ellymarishernandez45602 жыл бұрын
Coming in HOT with some more great topics!! 😊😊😊
@AshleyEmbers2 жыл бұрын
You know it 😉
@marisellopez60222 жыл бұрын
My husband and I agreed on 2 kids, and we would welcome a whoopsie 3rd but after that I'm getting my tubes tide lol
@lindseyforbes58642 жыл бұрын
Love the scholarly look with the turtleneck 😂 My husband and I want lots of children. We don’t take external factors into account because we ultimately don’t know what the future knows; humans are so resilient. We talked about children when we were dating so we are on the same page which is very helpful and would recommend. I am prepared to become engulfed in motherhood and children but that’s what I want. I do think your point on ensuring you take some social time for yourself is important and is something I will make a point to incorporate into my life.
@emmyneddy35652 жыл бұрын
If you don't mind, how old are you? Very interesting video!!
@AshleyEmbers2 жыл бұрын
26 😊
@AnuschkavanDijke2 жыл бұрын
Not really about how many kids you want, but please don't list Hungary as a positive example if you haven't researched the reasons why they are offering these benefits to Hungarian families (I'll give you a hint, it involves racist ideologies).
@XDKnoori2 жыл бұрын
.
@kendravoracek36362 жыл бұрын
❤
@ambissionzazaridah41122 жыл бұрын
You're not doing anyone a favor by bringing them into this world.
@ambricem2 жыл бұрын
This is terrible argument. And sorry “reading articles” isn’t being informed. When are you going to quote scholarly and medical journals you’ve read?!
@AshleyEmbers2 жыл бұрын
Hi, I think there’s a misunderstanding here. I use a lot of scholarly and peer reviewed articles in my videos. I also include magazine or journal articles depending on if I’m just looking for another opinion, using graphics, etc. I’m all for constructive criticism but I think you’re letting your emotions get the best of you. All my resources are linked in the description.
@md.shamadulislam87622 жыл бұрын
BS in another level 😂 get a life and stop telling people to have kids lol
@AshleyEmbers2 жыл бұрын
Lol get a life and stop trolling people on the internet