When A Bid For Connection Turns Into Criticism | Dr. David Hawkins

[@ingedk9699]

You are so right, i went back and forth through these stages during 35 years and i always thought we recovered because when i am totally withdrawn, he starts being nice, sort of, temporarily. And now i finally understand he did not change at all. I would want to get out quietly, don't hate him, he is more broken than i am.

[@krw6769]

😢 yep, totally alone and unheard, disrespected, devalued, basically treated like a servant... Thank you Dr Hawkins for confirming and reconfirming how a narcissists world dehumanizes the victim! Thank you for reaching out and providing your time and experience to those that are unaware😊

[@stephanieturner5931]

My issue is that every time I try to fix whatever I’m being criticized for, I then get criticized for doing that too. It feels like a lose lose situation.

[@crazymike401]

Arw you the abuser or abuser? Your name would seem to be the woman probably the one being abused? Woild help answer you

[@ElfPH]

This made me cry😢 finally someone who can explain it well. My husband saw my criticism as an attack or blame. Where i only wanted is to make a connection and tell him that what he did was not okay.😢

[@KoolT]

People who are yelled at for year's are AFRAID to sit down and talk. Can you address that too please?

[@DARKhorses73]

Why am I'm either bothering or watching. I just need to divorce

[@liliherndz5792]

Dr Hawkins great LIGHT 👌💡👌 in the inner Journey of shared Love, Trust and Authentic Stable & Healthy Human Connection .. I like to call it reciprocal open FEEDBACK coming from an inner place of shared care and love 🤔🕊🤔

[@gwendolynwehage6336]

This topic reminds me of the time I set a beautiful table with a nice tablecloth and name cards for everyone hoping the grandchildren would enjoy the special time together. Our daughter and her husband thought it was silly and said so as though I had done something wrong. They turned what could have been a happy time full of laughter and connection into garbage as they sour-facedly taught their children that hospitality was foolish. I was so thankful they do not show up more than once a year. They lived thousands of miles away and visited only once a year. Now they expect us to come and see them but I have no desire to see them at their home. I know if I were to tell them about their rudeness they would turn it into be being guilty of something. They would focus on the complaint rather than their own rude behavior.

[@MB-sg8dx]

Im so sorry. I cant imagine how hurtful that was. I have experienced similar things and am praying for God to lead me to others to invite for special occasions since my own family members are unedifying and cause me pain. I have had some lovely occasions with other “disenfranchised” ladies: single gals, moms and widows etc wherein i was able to make them feel very special with the utmost in hospitality that was both noticed and appreciated. God bless.

[@elsie8966]

Im here now im giving up and he doesnt care. I kniw in my heart hes only with me for money now

[@abetterlife5120]

Yep… point number four hit the mark.

[@melissasymonds1523]

Exactly

[@2much2fast4me]

Dr Hawkins, can you please explain how I am supposed to sit and listen every day about everything that is wrong me with no reciprocity? I can’t even ask this man to put his dishes in the dishwasher like he tells his adult children to do without getting “do as I say, not as I do” in return. He is flawless, yet I’m accused of being a perfectionist … 🤷‍♀️ Heartbroken Every Single Day

[@kristinmeyer489]

Certain things matter, especially to trauma survivors. For example, my mother inflicted a ton of covert and narcissistic abuse on me, and this was baked into our history, when she opportunitically pounced on a person she knew was close to me, to spy, pry, and game her out of her ownership of her abusive behavior towards me. I gradually caught on that i was being violated by an abuser I had deliberately put thousands of miles of space between, and there was ethical breach, yet again. It was her world, and I only lived in it. I HAD hoped to have a life of my own.

[@FakeCrisRealTyranny]

The story of my marriage.

[@laraparks7018]

Sometimes the bid is for power, control and domination 😮