When I Replaced Olga Smirnova | Coping with Imposter Syndrome + Anxiety | Learning to Trust yourself

[@lollylula6399]

I love Russian ballet so much, for me it's the best in the world. The strength, the clean technique, the artistry in the technique, the artistry, and I especially appreciate how seriously they take art and ballet - the respect and passion this seriousness engenders comes through in their ballet and takes it into depths of feeling and meaning I find lacking in other cultures' ballet. To get these insights into so many aspects of that world in my native language feels like a privilege; I've so enjoyed bingeing your videos since I discovered your channel. I appreciate you again sharing your stories with us with vulnerability, humility, and wisdom. I'm at a different stage in life with different issues but the themes are universal and the way you share and talk is really helping to stoke my inner strength and determination to keep going. Thank you 🙏🏼

[@gonefishing167]

Yes, I agree. Their whole approach to ballet is different and is appreciated differently. I read once that in western ballet, 70% of male dancers are gay and 30% heterosexual. In Russian ballet 70% of male dancers are heterosexual and 30% gay. ( if that’s explaining it respectfully). All because of the way it’s appreciated. 👵👵🇦🇺🇦🇺🦘🦘

[@olingerhampden1798]

You’re so adorable. So humble and honest, self deprecating. One cannot help but root for you! I’m hoping for all the best things for you Isabella.

[@karennorris7880]

Performing on stage is a different kind of skill than dancing in the classroom. They are both wonderful in their own ways. I always felt like the best dancing actually takes place in class, and when you get spontaneous appreciation from your peers and/or teacher, the people who know you and know your dancing, it's the best kind of validation you can get. That being said, I think performing on stage for an audience definitely has a spiritual or metaphysical element to it. I was one of those performers who would have normal stage fright, but then the minute I stepped on stage it disappeared and I was in a different state. The magical energy that a charismatic performer has is something that some people have naturally and for people for whom it does not come naturally, it is a matter of 'letting' your soul shine through so that you are connecting with your audience. It's not an act of force. So, when you are wondering how to let your soul shine through, it's important to remember that no matter how far away the audience is, people cannot help but notice your eyes. Yes we spend years worrying about our feet and legs, but the audience receives the performance communique through your eyes. The best dancers and performers of all types seem to crackle with an energy that suffuses their entire being. Some dancers are radiating that energy every second they are on stage. There is not a millisecond they are not 'inhabiting' the dance. I think of Yulia Lopatkina, Natalia Makarova, Kimin Kim, Marinela Nunez, Natalia Osipova, Baryshnikov, just to name a few. But also Sting, Meryl Streep, Robert Downey Jr., & Russell Crowe. The thing to remember is that there is only one you, and only you have that particular soul signature. You just have to let it shine.

[@patti1044]

Thank you for sharing - can't imagine the terror of learning the role to the level of perfection we see.

[@primalcritters]

❤❤❤❤ im Russian American, very proud of my Russian roots as my family had a very rich contribution to the arts in Russia pre-revolution. I cannot thank you enough for your appreciation to our culture, and to how seriously we take sport and art, whether it be ballet, figure skating, or literature, and beyond. Absolutely love your channel and I would love to see more of your work as well!

[@BarbaraT.]

I love pre-revolutionary Russian history. I've read a thousand books about it (and i love the arts and studied ballet professionally for many years). I'd love to know a little more about your family 😊❤

[@Anastasiapajarillo]

I subscribed to your online platform with your (paid) lessons. They are lovely and I really appreciate your professionalism and artistry. Also beautiful to see a good entrepreneurial spirit in a young female athlete and artist that you are ❤

[@dmitrykim3096]

Some people never experience such great emotions in their lives, and you did, its what makes our life meaningful. Failures happen but life goes on. You are not how you fail, you are how you recover

[@maral.9997]

Thank you so much for sharing your story with us Isabella! These are very valuable lessons learned, beyond ballet for life.

[@chloeanddiego]

This was an amazing story. Thank you for sharing it! ❤️🩰

[@kristinmoreno9203]

ISABELLA, YOU ARE AN INSPIRATION! 🌹What an Amazing story! Thank you for Sharing it! When i was a young dancer, I missed a couple of wonderful opportunities due to self- doubt and low self esteem. So, it was very comforting to hear that someone as Talented as you, has experienced the same thing. That was very helpful to hear what you learned from those experiences! 💖

[@brendadufaur37]

You are so open and I really love the way you describe your experiences. I don't think it was fair that they hadnt given you roles to perform. I'm so glad you came through in the second half. It was very interesting about the pointe shoes. I love your channel.

[@geneveaudet3235]

Thank you Isabella for sharing this special experience with us. I enjoy watching your videos !!! ❤💕

[@balletwithisabella]

You are so welcome!❤️

[@maryinsky]

What you share confirms so much about the culture of ballet, and that in some elite institutions, but also at other levels, it’s survival of the fittest- and anyone who can’t figure it out on their own suffers. You can get there-but at what cost? In my history courses at a university where there are many good ballet dancers, they have already absorbed negative valuations about themselves that are hard to erase. Positive self talk helps, as does growth mindset-but that’s not what you get in the studio. The field is behind- Russia has great training of the body, but can’t keep up with creative choreography. Maybe if they built into dancers a stronger sense of self, more sylphs and swans would take ballet into a brighter future. Thanks for sharing your stories.

[@argyrotsampazi9491]

Thank you for sharing Isabella! It's so important to learn from our mistakes and building experience is not easy!

[@georginareid3828]

Loved this …. You certainly are a very mature young lady ❤️

[@brendastevens9077]

Thank you for sharing this performance story. It helps a lot to learn how you handled things.❤

[@balletwithisabella]

you're welcome!

[@sm-k5513]

Such an interesting and honest video. This shows how important it is to get used to being on stage in walk-on parts and small parts first throughout your years of studying to become a professional dancer. It needs to be build up gradually with increasingly more difficult parts. I so feel for you and that first traumatic experience. If you would have had weeks to prepare for it, it wouldn't have been so bad. The combination of lack of stage experience, a huge role, little time to prepare for it and not the right shoes, that was a nightmare scenario!!!!❤

[@mollysearcyofficial]

Thank you for sharing your story. I really really needed to hear this today. ❤

[@balletwithisabella]

You are so welcome ❤️

[@anibrown5374]

In your hindsight reflections you cut through the starry glamour around the practicalities of performance (shoes, weight, finer points of technique, energy levels) and very helpfully include your own disconnection from the ambitions others had for you from the way you felt and saw yourself (or perhaps hadn't, not consciously anyway). I love your description of your OOB experience, when you became lost to yourself on stage and then had to reign in the atoms. I love how you take control creating a whole person, an undivided self which you are then able to express both confidently and artistically. Your dead-pan reaction to the 'death stare' had me in stiches - so very Russian.

[@bettymaines6305]

For Pete’s sake, how can a teacher/school expect someone to perform like a seasoned pro when they have had no experience. Whether it is dancing, acting , public speaking, etc in front of an audience, there is almost always ‘Beginners nerves’ and the only way to get over them is experience. You can self taught yourself to death to gain confidence, but ultimately it is performing in front of an audience that is the cure. You are very brave to share this

[@ipt3000]

This is a famous Mariinsky test. They throw u in a sink or swim situation.

[@mathildewesendonck7225]

Isabella, thank you so much for sharing, this probably wasn’t easy for you. I feel so sorry for you that you couldn’t enjoy your performance. 😢 You should be so proud of yourself instead- I‘m sure it wasn’t half as bad as you thought, no matter what Altynai Asymuratova thought! Wasn’t there anyone who congratulated you? This is so really sad, I feel really moved by your story, because I also screwed up an important performance once, and to this day, I can’t even talk about it.

[@balletwithisabella]

Obviously many said I did a good job but the fumbles were too traumatising , nobody could make me feel better 😅 We learn from our mistakes and that “bad” show taught me soooo much as basically I never wanted to experience that again and something had to change

[@Sunshineandrain1619]

Thank you for making this =)

[@lapristine]

Great video, and so many lessons to apply besides just to ballet! Isabella, did you you keep a journal during your student days, and if so, how do you still draw out the detail from these memories to keep the stories fresh?

[@elizzy8754]

You did your very best under the circumstances. You are very lucid about the experience. My feeling is that they picked you for the performance because it would be easy to blame "the foreigner" if there was a problem. It was easier for those in charge to deflect their own incompetence.

[@balletwithisabella]

No I really don’t think that was the case at all. They genuinely believed in me but I just wasn’t mentally ready for it after such little preparation.

[@ballet_plum686]

This comes out on my birthday!

[@lollylula6399]

Happy Birthday 🎉

[@ballet_plum686]

@@lollylula6399 tysm!!’

[@teijaflink2226]

I would be curious to hear where you actually ended up dancing, I mean which company after you where ready with your school in Vaganova? And do you still dance?

[@selenamcqueen3381]

Dear Isabella, please accept my humble thoughts as an audience member with respectable (other) arts and stage experience... Even with any blips, honestly, it is the MOST SUBLIME treat to see a ballet, I cannot tell you HOW MUCH I love seeing it, it is pure heaven, takes me out of reality, and we as the audience (mostly) haven't a clue what a mistake is - we just think you are all amazing and totally deserving if you have the lead. Any obvious mistakes, we just think - she's human (and probably like her more). I can only imagine how difficult it is to get the lead, but the audience pay, so our opinion counts, and there's a reason we go - we just think you're amazing and it's a real treat. Don't lose the audience perspective and we aren't horrible ha. If all fails, always remember Jesus still loves you. Thanks for sharing your world with us x

[@彩-i5i]

Love your videos💗💗

[@annaandthebananas]

my fav youtube channel :)

[@LyraSvalbard]

Thank you for these videos! I'm wondering if you could maybe do a video on improving turnout - through stretches, but especially exercises for building strength for your turnout?

[@balletwithisabella]

All workouts, classes and courses are on my website - elite in depth courses including for turnout - balletwithisabella.com

[@megy5924]

Hi, does anyone know how far can I get with ballet if I start at 19 . I wanted serious training experience to be part of my everyday life but I don't think any school or teacher would be willing to take me seriously, all that is offerd are 2 adult classes a week they focus on fun, don't push you or correct much. Is there a chanse to ever preform in anything as adult or be of use to ballet schools? Although I've never done ballet professionally, in the next 10 years I really want to train as if I'm going to make a living out of it, even though I'll probably never perform

[@megy5924]

About me, I'm tall, skinny, can have almost full turnout but no muscle strenght to use it, average flexibility, splits, can hold leg at 90° too week to hodl higher correctly, lack overall strenght and need to work on balance. I'm 19 but feel like a 90year old wasting my time trying to reach advanced level abillities/good enough to look pleasant to other dancers

[@LadyeStagsleapStudio]

Hello : Yes, you can achieve a reasonable degree of success starting at 19, but the key is finding good teachers. There is a huge world of amateur dance groups, but you may need to dig around to find them. :)

[@saskascoon9327]

I hope there are many young dancers out there who listen to your advice and mindset tips! To add to your poignant point regarding how being underweight / under-fuelled negatively impacts performance, it’s interesting to consider that anxiety and stress are physiological consequences / symptoms of being in energy deficiency (i.e. not eating enough for the work you do) or being underweight… so you would potentially get less nervous in the first place, or at least be better equipped to deal with nerves, if you ensure your body is adequately fuelled on a regular basis :)

[@Constantin9va]

You are so beautiful and this is a fantastic story. I’m inspired to buck up and do my best not to squander my life. So thank you❤️ This is off topic, but I was wondering if you could talk about hair loss in the ballet community. This was also happening to me when I was a dancer, very anxious, not eating very much, constant buns and hair coloring. I wonder if there is anything that you are doing for it? Any tips and tricks you could share from other dancer’s? I have considered Monoxidil, but it may be toxic to cats and my bb is more important to me than my hairline. But My hairline is still important to me. Anyway, I’m sure that this is something that at least half of ballet dancers deal with and I’d like to feel less alone about it.💛thanks again for sharing your beautiful soul🩰🪷🦋

[@dronesclubhighjinks]

You are certainly not alone, my dear. Many rhythmic gymnasts have this hair loss problem as well. There may be multiple causes. 1a) Traction alopecia or 1b) alopecia are different problems from 2) nutritionally-deprived hair loss. 3) Hormonal imbalances in teen girls and women are another problem. It might be possible to have one or more than one of these problems concurrently. 1a) Traction alopecia can be avoided by not constantly wearing the hair in a tightly pulled back hairstyle. Unfortunately, that is exactly what is required in ballet and in gymnastics so I'm not sure what to suggest for that. Maybe at least during your off time, wear your hair loose or at least more relaxed than tightly pulled back. 1b) Regular alopecia can be the result of stress. 2) With the intense training methods I've seen in documentaries about Russian RGs, the gymnasts are not allowed to eat nutritious food because they/their coaches are paranoid about the gymnasts gaining weight. They're not allowed to drink water during training, and I've heard this is the same for ballet. This is dangerously unhealthy. Girls who do not have the proper nutrition means they don't have the vitamins and minerals that are necessary to maintain healthy hair and fingernails. (They also don't receive the amounts of protein and carbohydrates their bodies require to maintain such a high level of exercise.) I used to not like yogurt, but I had such a bad stomach upset for months, and yogurt was the only thing I could tolerate. After a few months, I noticed that my fingernails were a lot stronger and did not tear as easily. There are vitamins and mineral supplements that one can take to help make up for a lack of these things in the food one eats. 3) Hormonal imbalances can cause hair loss. The problem with developing teen girls in ballet and gymnastics is that apparently it's common for puberty to be delayed until age 18 or even longer. Apparently, a girl starts her period when she reaches a certain weight. This explains why there are obese nine and 10-year-olds who already start, and also explains how it's possible to reach 18 before starting. The problem with not having a period is that bone mineral density starts to decrease, making bones more brittle, and more likely to break. The Internet advises me that it's the normal range to start between age 11 and 15, but if one has not started by age 15, there may be a problem and the girl and her mom should see a doctor about it. It would be a wonderful idea for the ballet and gymnastics communities to openly talk about these problems. The difficulty is that it borders on topics like eating disorders, which seem to often be the result of training methods, and many people don't want to question these. If you can talk to your parents, or doctor, or at least an older sister or mentor, or a trusted teacher, that would be a good starting point. It would be a good idea if you can speak to somebody outside of the ballet community because they will have quite a different perspective. The expectations for how dancers and gymnasts are treated are normal within those worlds ("this may seem tough, but this is exactly how we have produced successful ballerinas and gymnasts for generations. We are not going to mention all the girls who were physically, mentally and emotionally damaged by our methods who did not make it any further in their career/sport because we wrongly consider those people to be losers, who just were not tough enough"), but are very unusual and sometimes worrisome for people outside who are looking in. I hope this helps a little! Give your cat a pat from a well-wisher. I wish you and all other sufferers the best! 💐

[@K_ballet]

Wow! Did you stop dancing because of nerves? Injury?

[@MelHunt-bu6no]

❤

[@teijaflink2226]

Sounds like they put too much pressure on you there and specially about weight, such a shame, probably ruined many talents too as not everyone handles pressure well, some people are very sensitive.

[@Emma-dm7rm]

I do not enjoy the background music in this video - it distracts from your talk

[@balletgirl56]

Really enjoyed your retelling if your experience. Thank you for sharing this. May I please suggest that you not use the name of the Lord Jesus so casually? Your videos are so interesting. Would love to see a little of the video of this performance in this video.

[@balletwithisabella]

Sure, apologies if I offended you in any way. Not my intention and I apologise - glad you enjoy the content x

[@mackiceicukice]

This is how most people in Britain speak , they are not religious and this is not meant to offend you ( or Jesus ) .